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1
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:15,348
(tires screeching)
2
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,438
(tires screeching)
3
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,651
I'm late, I'm late, I'm
late, I'm late, I'm late.
4
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,654
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.
5
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:31,865
Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry!
6
00:00:32,991 --> 00:00:34,993
Sorry everybody. My apologies.
7
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:38,663
Okay.
8
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,956
Well, that is a surprise.
9
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:42,000
Michael's almost never late.
10
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:45,628
And he hasn't worked
here in four weeks.
11
00:00:45,670 --> 00:00:47,088
Hey, how're you doing?
12
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:48,256
Overslept.
13
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:50,133
Do you think anybody
noticed I was late?
14
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:52,177
I think they're just
surprised you're here at all.
15
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:52,844
Huh.
16
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,054
That's him.
17
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:56,181
Michael.
18
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,481
Gentlemen.
19
00:01:12,030 --> 00:01:13,281
Was I supposed to stop him?
20
00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:14,574
He seemed so confident.
21
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:15,533
No.
22
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,826
You did good.
23
00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,541
Sorry.
24
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,293
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
25
00:01:27,420 --> 00:01:29,255
Where's Ryan?
26
00:01:29,297 --> 00:01:30,256
He's late.
27
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,091
Dammit!
28
00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:42,352
(bright upbeat music)
29
00:02:00,995 --> 00:02:02,747
It's 4:30 in the morning.
30
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:04,624
Do you know where your kids are?
31
00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:07,168
{\an8}If you are Ryan's parents or
Pam's parents or my parents,
32
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:08,670
{\an8}you do.
33
00:02:08,712 --> 00:02:11,715
{\an8}They're gonna be in
this van with me.
34
00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,174
{\an8}Who am I?
35
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:14,801
Nothing to fear.
36
00:02:14,843 --> 00:02:17,554
{\an8}I am just a 44-year-old
guy with a paper route.
37
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:20,849
{\an8}(horn beeping)
38
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:22,976
{\an8}Time to make the donuts.
39
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:27,397
(Michael laughing)
40
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,065
Come on.
41
00:02:29,107 --> 00:02:30,608
Whoa!
42
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,736
No, I promise I
won't do it again.
43
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:33,570
Come on.
44
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:39,325
I lied!
45
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:42,328
(Michael laughing)
46
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,788
We've been making
5:00 AM deliveries
47
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,832
{\an8}for a couple weeks now.
48
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,959
{\an8}Ever since I've gotten clean,
49
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,669
{\an8}there's something
about fresh morning air
50
00:02:49,711 --> 00:02:52,255
{\an8}that just really makes me sick.
51
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,301
{\an8}(horn beeping)
52
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:00,805
Hello!
53
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:03,725
Time to make the donuts!
54
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,226
Oh, Halpert, wow!
55
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,269
Boner patrol.
56
00:03:07,520 --> 00:03:09,230
Arrest that man.
57
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:11,733
{\an8}Your donuts make me go nuts.
58
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,485
{\an8}(Michael laughing)
59
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,944
{\an8}Hey Pam.
60
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:17,322
{\an8}We got the van
at a used car lot.
61
00:03:17,364 --> 00:03:22,118
{\an8}We think it says "Hallelujah
Church of Scranton" in Korean.
62
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,661
{\an8}It was either this
or an old school bus
63
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:26,498
{\an8}with an owl living in it.
64
00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:29,417
{\an8}You didn't happen to bring
any coffee, did you Michael?
65
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,502
Milk and sugar.
66
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:31,544
Oh, awesome.
67
00:03:31,586 --> 00:03:33,171
{\an8}You're a lifesaver.
68
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,677
{\an8}Wait, is this just
milk and sugar?
69
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:39,803
That's what I said.
70
00:03:39,844 --> 00:03:41,930
Do you drink this every day?
71
00:03:41,971 --> 00:03:43,390
Every morning.
72
00:03:45,266 --> 00:03:49,270
{\an8}I consider myself someone who
likes to work with his hands.
73
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:53,108
{\an8}I type and I file and
I will use a telephone,
74
00:03:54,526 --> 00:03:57,195
{\an8}but I have found that one
of the things I really enjoy
75
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,740
{\an8}about making my own
deliveries is the ability
76
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:03,076
to work with my feet as well.
77
00:04:03,118 --> 00:04:08,581
I get to use the accelerator
and the brake of the van
78
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:15,755
and I walk from the van
and I walk back to the van.
79
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:19,801
And so, even though I consider
myself a hands-on guy,
80
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:23,346
I guess I'm also kind
of a foots-on guy.
81
00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,306
We're doing okay.
82
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:28,560
A couple weeks in
and we're having fun.
83
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,520
Uhh...
84
00:04:30,562 --> 00:04:31,396
Yep.
85
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,148
We have 20 of those.
86
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:34,899
Oh, oh, excuse me!
87
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,234
Sorry!
88
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:37,027
Sorry, no.
89
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,237
It's a paper company now.
90
00:04:42,782 --> 00:04:44,701
It's not for the church.
91
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:47,996
Okay.
92
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:50,040
Who covers Bans Pet Grooming?
93
00:04:50,081 --> 00:04:51,082
Oh, they're my client.
94
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,917
No, they were your client.
95
00:04:52,959 --> 00:04:54,461
They just called,
96
00:04:54,502 --> 00:04:56,588
said they're switching over to
Michael Scott Paper Company.
97
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:57,839
Shame, Jim.
98
00:04:57,881 --> 00:04:59,257
I expected more.
99
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,593
In the last month we
have lost 10 major clients
100
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,011
to Michael Scott.
101
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,179
What are we supposed to do?
102
00:05:04,220 --> 00:05:05,680
They keep undercutting us on price.
103
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:07,182
I don't want to hear excuses.
I wanna see improvements.
104
00:05:07,223 --> 00:05:09,351
This is unacceptable.
105
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,810
Hey, boss.
106
00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:12,270
I'd just like to point out
107
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,231
that I have been here
less time than these guys.
108
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:18,443
Why are you telling me this?
109
00:05:18,485 --> 00:05:21,571
I just think the bar
should be lower for a newbie.
110
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:23,990
Is this something you
really want to have said?
111
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,621
I don't want to
have said that.
112
00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,625
But I think it's important
that you know it.
113
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:36,628
I don't know what to do
to inspire these people.
114
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,504
Okay.
115
00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,213
Maybe it's my fault.
116
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,464
It's not your fault.
117
00:05:39,506 --> 00:05:41,466
Some people just don't
want to be inspired.
118
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,636
I wrote a memo to all
departments asking them
119
00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,846
to find ways to save money.
120
00:05:46,888 --> 00:05:47,931
But--
121
00:05:47,972 --> 00:05:50,058
Charles, I got your memo.
122
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,393
Thank you.
123
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,852
I want you to know I'm
putting my foot down
124
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:54,521
when it comes to
expense reports.
125
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,231
Waste not, want not.
126
00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,692
Well said, Angela.
127
00:06:03,988 --> 00:06:06,032
Been there, done that.
128
00:06:14,541 --> 00:06:15,333
Okay.
129
00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,128
Five minute power nap.
130
00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:21,089
And then we're up
and running again.
131
00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:25,802
Pam, are you asleep?
132
00:06:25,844 --> 00:06:26,678
Not yet.
133
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,846
Me neither.
134
00:06:27,887 --> 00:06:28,680
Okay.
135
00:06:30,265 --> 00:06:32,392
Ryan, turn on the lights.
136
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,227
Ryan.
137
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,397
Pam, wake up Ryan,
turn on the lights.
138
00:06:37,439 --> 00:06:38,231
I'm up.
139
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,779
You know what we need?
140
00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:45,905
We need some couches in here.
141
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,490
Michael.
142
00:06:47,532 --> 00:06:49,034
We should really consider
getting a delivery guy.
143
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,994
Oh, you know what
you would love?
144
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,246
Is if we built a loft.
145
00:06:53,288 --> 00:06:55,707
Why would I love that?
146
00:06:55,749 --> 00:06:57,125
Can we afford a delivery guy?
147
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:58,335
Like in a dorm room.
148
00:06:58,376 --> 00:06:59,377
You put your desk underneath.
149
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:00,754
You have your loft up top.
150
00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:02,380
You can sleep up top.
151
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,923
Yeah, I know what a loft is.
152
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:05,717
Most dorms don't
even have that.
153
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:07,052
Most do in the magazines.
154
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,262
Let's see what a
delivery guy costs.
155
00:07:11,181 --> 00:07:14,225
We should look into that.
156
00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,895
Or we just go for the loft.
157
00:07:16,936 --> 00:07:17,729
[Andy] Dammit!
158
00:07:19,064 --> 00:07:21,066
Where is my Andy mug?
159
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,400
What's wrong?
160
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,611
Two things.
161
00:07:24,652 --> 00:07:26,654
Can't find my Andy mug
and I lost another client
162
00:07:26,696 --> 00:07:28,990
to the Michael
Scott Paper Company.
163
00:07:29,032 --> 00:07:30,992
Tell me about it. I lost two
this week.
164
00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,410
I'm sorry.
165
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,120
I thought it was a cute mug.
166
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:35,997
You're making a
funny expression.
167
00:07:36,039 --> 00:07:36,831
Oh.
168
00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:42,629
Then I decree that you
lady Erin of reception
169
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,756
enjoy the Andy mug.
170
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:48,593
I'm really just mad
about losing a client.
171
00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,179
I heard that Michael is hand
delivering the paper himself
172
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,847
and Ryan's a blonde now.
173
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:55,141
I heard they get sausage.
174
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:57,310
Sorry.
175
00:07:57,352 --> 00:07:59,145
This is really bothering me.
176
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,188
Oh.
177
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:06,319
- This isn't yours, is it?
- No.
178
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:12,951
Can you let Charles know
that David is here, please?
179
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:13,785
Jim, hey.
180
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,661
Hey David.
181
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,162
David Wallace.
182
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:17,622
Hello, we've been expecting
you, David Wallace.
183
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,957
Charles and I were
waiting for you.
184
00:08:18,998 --> 00:08:20,959
There he is. There he is.
185
00:08:21,001 --> 00:08:22,127
How was the trip up?
186
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,378
A lot better than a month
187
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:24,587
at the Scranton
Radisson, I'm sure.
188
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,339
Oh, you know what? Hasn't been
that bad.
189
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,632
Hasn't been that bad.
190
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,467
These people are salt
of the earth down here.
191
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:32,679
You couldn't ask for a better
way to learn a company.
192
00:08:32,721 --> 00:08:35,015
I feel like I should
be thanking you.
193
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:35,849
Ah.
194
00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:40,603
(making kissing noises)
195
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,151
The conference room is ready
if we want to get started.
196
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,319
You know, I just wanna
address everyone first.
197
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,822
Oh yes. Take your time.
Stanley, pay attention.
198
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:51,948
Hi everyone.
199
00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:54,743
- Hi.
- Hi.
200
00:08:54,784 --> 00:08:55,660
Look, it's no secret--
201
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,494
Hi.
202
00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,955
Hello.
203
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:02,459
It is no secret that Michael
Scott Paper has siphoned off
204
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:03,710
a large chunk of
our core business.
205
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:05,253
And I'm here, I just
wanna reassure everyone
206
00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,465
that we think this is
just a temporary setback.
207
00:09:08,506 --> 00:09:09,049
Right.
208
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,050
Okay?
209
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,217
Maybe, and I don't know,
210
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:13,094
if you had just
returned Michael's call,
211
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:15,388
none of us would've
lost clients.
212
00:09:15,430 --> 00:09:17,640
I've been wondering
that myself lately.
213
00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:20,185
Can I just say something
that's been confusing to me?
214
00:09:20,226 --> 00:09:21,728
I know that you went to
Harvard Business School,
215
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,022
but it seems like maybe you
went to Harvard Modeling School.
216
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,398
And then when Michael left,
217
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,067
you put your handsome
modeling friend in charge.
218
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,527
And now the branch is in the
toilet, but you know what?
219
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,322
Some of us aren't married
and I need this job
220
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:33,782
until there's a
ring on this finger.
221
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,284
So Charles, the choice is
really up to you, whether--
222
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:37,786
Okay, Kelly.
223
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:41,164
Maybe we shouldn't let the
tension affect our work.
224
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,707
I'm sorry.
225
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:45,210
What are we supposed to
do with all this tension?
226
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:46,086
We're just gonna get started.
227
00:09:46,127 --> 00:09:47,754
We're gonna figure this out.
228
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:48,838
Rest assured.
229
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:49,798
Jim, can you come
in with us, please?
230
00:09:49,839 --> 00:09:51,257
Oh, Jim, hold on.
231
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,259
You know David,
Dwight's been my guy.
232
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:54,177
Really?
233
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:55,679
Yeah, Jim--
234
00:09:55,720 --> 00:09:58,056
I find that
extraordinarily surprising.
235
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,891
He shows promise.
236
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:02,560
And Jim, I don't know. He's been
a disappointment.
237
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,229
- We'll bring 'em both in.
- Okay, great.
238
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,022
Dwight, come on in.
239
00:10:06,064 --> 00:10:06,856
Also Jim.
240
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,777
Come along, afterthought.
241
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:13,947
Stanley.
242
00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,909
Andrew.
243
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:18,785
Rejected?
244
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:23,164
You never had a problem with
me expenses cigars before.
245
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,457
Yes, I did.
246
00:10:24,499 --> 00:10:26,418
I just didn't have the
power to enforce it.
247
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,794
Phyllis, this
client you take out
248
00:10:27,836 --> 00:10:29,754
to Alfredo's every
Saturday night?
249
00:10:29,796 --> 00:10:32,382
Wouldn't happen to be a
refrigeration company, would it?
250
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,508
Michael never cared.
251
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,427
He said it was a
perk of the job.
252
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,387
Oh, I'm sorry.
253
00:10:37,429 --> 00:10:39,472
I get no joy from this.
254
00:10:40,890 --> 00:10:42,100
I bought it for myself.
255
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,601
For my birthday.
256
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:47,147
I've always wanted
a chance to use it.
257
00:10:47,188 --> 00:10:48,690
It came with an approved stamp,
258
00:10:48,732 --> 00:10:50,984
which I can't seem to find.
259
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:53,987
That little bitch.
260
00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,865
Just get with the program.
261
00:10:56,906 --> 00:10:59,284
Free dinner here,
bottle of wine there.
262
00:10:59,325 --> 00:11:01,369
Everybody's happy.
263
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:03,371
You take away my perks?
264
00:11:04,164 --> 00:11:06,958
See ya later alligator.
265
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,793
Well, this is very exciting.
266
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,546
We are going to visit
our accountant, Ty Plat
267
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:13,048
to see if we can
afford a delivery guy.
268
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:14,883
You shouldn't just throw
the word exciting around.
269
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:16,134
It cheapens the word.
270
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,469
It's like the word love.
271
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,636
Well, I love the fact
that we're thinking
272
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,472
about getting a delivery guy.
273
00:11:20,513 --> 00:11:22,140
It's very exciting.
274
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,100
But I know what you mean.
275
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,730
How much can we afford
to pay a delivery guy?
276
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,315
Well, if these numbers
you gave me are correct--
277
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,983
They are correct, sir.
278
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:34,069
Then you can't afford
to pay them anything.
279
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:34,903
Okay.
280
00:11:36,237 --> 00:11:39,324
Lame attempt at humor,
swing and a miss.
281
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:41,159
Your prices are too low.
282
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,203
Lowest in town.
283
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,371
Why do you think Staples
284
00:11:44,412 --> 00:11:46,331
and Dunder Mifflin
can't match your prices?
285
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:47,749
Corporate greed.
286
00:11:47,791 --> 00:11:49,334
Look, our pricing
model is fine.
287
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:50,794
I reviewed the numbers myself.
288
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,004
Over time, with enough
volume we become profitable.
289
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,215
Yeah. With a fixed cost
pricing model, that's correct.
290
00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:56,675
Yeah.
291
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,842
But you need to use a
variable cost pricing model.
292
00:11:57,884 --> 00:12:00,679
Okay. Sure. Right.
293
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,138
So why don't you
explain what that is
294
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:03,640
so they can under--
295
00:12:03,682 --> 00:12:04,849
Just explain what that is.
296
00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,017
Explain what
you think that is.
297
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:06,851
[Ty] Okay.
298
00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:07,560
Just explain it.
299
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:08,812
As you sell more paper
300
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:10,355
and your company grows,
so will your costs.
301
00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:14,901
For example, delivery man,
healthcare, business expansion.
302
00:12:15,485 --> 00:12:17,529
Whatever. Yeah. So.
303
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,655
At these prices, the
more paper you sell,
304
00:12:18,697 --> 00:12:20,156
the less money you'll make.
305
00:12:20,198 --> 00:12:22,826
Our prices are the only
thing keeping us in business.
306
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:25,328
They're actually putting
you out of business.
307
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,080
Okay. Okay.
308
00:12:27,122 --> 00:12:29,249
Hold on. Hold on.
309
00:12:29,290 --> 00:12:32,669
Ty, I would like you to
crunch those numbers again.
310
00:12:32,711 --> 00:12:34,295
It's programmed. There's no
such thing.
311
00:12:34,337 --> 00:12:35,213
Just crunch 'em.
312
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,049
Just crunch 'em, please.
313
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:38,883
Crunch.
314
00:12:40,385 --> 00:12:41,594
Did it help?
315
00:13:06,536 --> 00:13:08,705
Hi Jerry, Michael Scott.
316
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:12,584
Well, this is
slightly embarrassing.
317
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,338
I'm going to have to ask you
318
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,090
to pay me a little bit more
money for that delivery
319
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,092
we dropped off yesterday.
320
00:13:22,093 --> 00:13:23,595
Yeah, we did.
321
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:25,138
We got the check,
322
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:27,682
but we're just going to need
a much, much bigger check.
323
00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:30,060
When a child gets
behind the wheel of a car
324
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:34,647
and runs into a tree, you
don't blame the child.
325
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:36,900
He didn't know any better.
326
00:13:36,941 --> 00:13:39,861
You blame the 30-year-old woman
327
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:43,198
who got in the
passenger seat and said,
328
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,158
"Drive kid, I trust you."
329
00:13:46,451 --> 00:13:48,411
I went to business school.
330
00:13:48,453 --> 00:13:50,914
I should have known better.
331
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,540
Hell, I went to
elementary school.
332
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,292
I should have known better.
333
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:55,877
I've been down
this road before.
334
00:13:55,919 --> 00:13:57,545
"Michael, you're going to fail."
335
00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,214
Oh really Mrs. Hirsch?
336
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,548
I think not.
337
00:14:00,590 --> 00:14:02,634
I think you in
fact will be fired
338
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:04,552
because of your drinking
339
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:07,931
and then they'll
pass the whole class.
340
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:08,890
So I'm good.
341
00:14:10,642 --> 00:14:13,103
Well, just think about it
342
00:14:13,144 --> 00:14:14,437
and I will--
343
00:14:14,479 --> 00:14:16,439
I'll give you a call back.
344
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:17,273
Okay.
345
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,401
All right, Jerry.
346
00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,235
Thanks.
347
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,111
Bye-bye.
348
00:14:25,824 --> 00:14:28,368
What is wrong with me?
349
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:31,746
Am I just the biggest
(beeping) idiot in the world?
350
00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:33,623
Everything I touch
turns to failure.
351
00:14:33,665 --> 00:14:36,084
How could I possibly
believe in this?
352
00:14:36,126 --> 00:14:37,210
Oh.
353
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:38,044
Dammit!
354
00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:53,977
Well, I did that.
355
00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:55,937
So.
356
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,982
No pretending I didn't.
357
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:01,401
I take responsibility for this.
358
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,652
That's fine.
359
00:15:09,826 --> 00:15:11,161
[Ryan] Sorry.
360
00:15:12,746 --> 00:15:14,789
We're still having fun.
361
00:15:14,831 --> 00:15:16,499
We're did Pam go?
362
00:15:16,541 --> 00:15:17,500
Stanley.
363
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,127
You were at this lunch with me.
364
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:21,796
If we're not being reimbursed,
you should at least pay half.
365
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,006
Are you going to give me
366
00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,466
half the frequent
flyer miles you got
367
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:25,884
for using your credit card?
368
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,510
As if you'll
ever fly anywhere.
369
00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,220
You do not know my dreams.
370
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,972
Hey, hey, hey guys.
371
00:15:32,015 --> 00:15:34,017
Stop fighting amongst yourselves
372
00:15:34,059 --> 00:15:36,644
and start fighting
our common enemy.
373
00:15:36,686 --> 00:15:39,647
This reimbursement policy.
374
00:15:39,689 --> 00:15:42,150
Angela can't do this. It's
ridiculous.
375
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:46,196
Reimbursements is the whole
reason I got into this business.
376
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,030
Look--
377
00:15:48,365 --> 00:15:50,575
The problem is the
same one that we've had
378
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,202
from the beginning.
379
00:15:53,745 --> 00:15:55,246
Thank you, Dwight.
380
00:15:59,084 --> 00:16:00,210
Yeah.
381
00:16:00,251 --> 00:16:01,086
Dwight.
382
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:02,295
Dwight.
383
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:04,923
Michael Scott Paper
Company is a big problem
384
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,675
and we need a solution.
385
00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,551
Is that what you were
gonna say, David?
386
00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:10,178
Yes.
387
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:13,515
Now would corporate approve
a temporary price reduction
388
00:16:13,556 --> 00:16:14,683
for returning customers?
389
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,393
- God no.
- Stupid.
390
00:16:16,434 --> 00:16:19,604
- And it makes us look weak.
- I agree. It just--
391
00:16:19,646 --> 00:16:20,897
I say we fill Michael's
office with bees.
392
00:16:20,939 --> 00:16:23,358
My apiarist owes me a favor.
393
00:16:25,235 --> 00:16:26,528
Really?
394
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:28,697
Does he do good work or--
395
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:29,656
No, Jim.
396
00:16:29,698 --> 00:16:31,366
I use a bad apiarist.
397
00:16:31,408 --> 00:16:33,785
(sighs)
398
00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:36,162
Fellas, why don't we
take a five minute break
399
00:16:36,204 --> 00:16:39,833
and then we will come back,
start fresh, sort this out.
400
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,251
Five minutes exactly.
401
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:42,544
Okay.
402
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,129
Hey Dwight, can I talk to you?
403
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,171
Sure thing.
404
00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:48,967
Hey, I saw you called.
405
00:16:49,009 --> 00:16:50,927
You're just out of business?
406
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:53,722
We have maybe a month.
407
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:55,056
I don't know what I'm gonna do.
408
00:16:55,098 --> 00:16:57,559
Well don't worry about it.
We'll figure it out.
409
00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,560
We'll be okay.
410
00:16:58,601 --> 00:16:59,769
That's what Michael said.
411
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,896
Oh yeah. Only this time we
will be okay.
412
00:17:01,938 --> 00:17:03,732
[Dwight] Idiot,
idiot, idiot, idiot.
413
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:05,567
- It's my new Dwight ring.
- I like it.
414
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,526
Good, right?
415
00:17:06,568 --> 00:17:07,777
Hello.
416
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:08,862
[Dwight] Idiot,
we're starting back up.
417
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:10,321
- This a Dwight by the way.
- Oh, okay.
418
00:17:12,490 --> 00:17:14,200
Don't worry about it.
419
00:17:20,582 --> 00:17:23,585
Did I ever tell you about
the day that Steve Martin died?
420
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:25,128
Steve Martin's
not dead, Michael.
421
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:26,254
I know,
422
00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:27,964
but I always
thought that the day
423
00:17:28,006 --> 00:17:30,300
that he died would be
the worst day of my life
424
00:17:30,342 --> 00:17:31,176
and I was wrong.
425
00:17:31,217 --> 00:17:32,010
It's this.
426
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,267
(Pam sighing)
427
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:44,272
You wanna hear something sad?
428
00:17:44,314 --> 00:17:45,815
I would love that.
429
00:17:45,857 --> 00:17:47,817
So Jim and I are
getting married
430
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:50,153
and the wedding's
really expensive.
431
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:54,491
So I tried to get a job on the
weekends to earn extra money.
432
00:17:54,532 --> 00:17:58,161
I applied to Old Navy,
Target and Walmart.
433
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:02,040
None of them called me back.
434
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:04,292
Not even for an interview.
435
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:10,131
I never went to Thailand.
436
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:12,008
Really?
437
00:18:12,050 --> 00:18:14,386
I went to Fort Lauderdale.
438
00:18:15,387 --> 00:18:16,429
Was it nice?
439
00:18:17,555 --> 00:18:19,432
Yeah, it was amazing.
440
00:18:20,725 --> 00:18:23,728
There's a great Pad
Thai place though.
441
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,438
In Fort Lauderdale.
442
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:30,360
And I met a guy who taught me
how to order like off the menu.
443
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:31,903
I love Pad Thai.
444
00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,781
You've never had Pad Thai.
445
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:35,615
No.
446
00:18:37,951 --> 00:18:40,370
I have a lot I haven't done.
447
00:18:44,082 --> 00:18:46,334
These expenses are legitimate.
448
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,460
Which I denied.
449
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:48,920
Right.
450
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:52,507
Would you please respectfully
reconsider these?
451
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:54,050
Why would I do that?
452
00:18:54,092 --> 00:18:58,513
Because of our history, both
romantic and thrice sexual.
453
00:19:00,223 --> 00:19:01,057
Twice.
454
00:19:03,226 --> 00:19:05,186
Resubmit with proof of business,
455
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:07,188
names of who you were with,
what you talked about,
456
00:19:07,230 --> 00:19:09,441
phone numbers I
can call to verify.
457
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:13,403
You get a two hour extension
based on our history.
458
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,696
Righto.
459
00:19:14,738 --> 00:19:15,530
Then we're even.
460
00:19:15,572 --> 00:19:16,406
Yeah.
461
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,869
Now this is a projection
of over three months.
462
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:22,162
We still have the
inventory sitting--
463
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:23,788
(speaking over each other)
464
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,415
Let me float something
out there, okay.
465
00:19:25,457 --> 00:19:26,124
Can I just say--
466
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:27,500
Can I say something?
467
00:19:27,542 --> 00:19:32,047
There is a hive of bees
outside the front door.
468
00:19:32,088 --> 00:19:35,800
We kidnap the queen, extract
her alarm pheromones,
469
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:40,972
place them on a flushable wipe
and put that in his bathroom.
470
00:19:43,141 --> 00:19:45,685
I can't believe I'm
about to say this, but
471
00:19:45,727 --> 00:19:48,313
the cheapest option
472
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:51,691
is to make Michael an offer.
473
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:53,234
Yes, yes.
474
00:19:53,276 --> 00:19:55,820
I was gonna say the same thing.
We should buy 'em out.
475
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:57,655
Oh you didn't.
476
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,240
Oh man.
477
00:19:59,282 --> 00:20:01,076
If only Michael had children,
478
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,995
that's how you really
apply the pressure.
479
00:20:04,037 --> 00:20:05,205
What's wrong with you?
480
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,581
Jim? You're you're pretty
close with them.
481
00:20:06,623 --> 00:20:08,833
You think they'd be up
for hearing an offer?
482
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:10,168
Oh, I don't know.
483
00:20:10,210 --> 00:20:13,963
You know, they've taken
a good deal of clients.
484
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,423
I mean, I guess--
485
00:20:15,465 --> 00:20:16,758
I guess I could go down
there and try to nudge them
486
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:17,967
in the right direction.
487
00:20:18,009 --> 00:20:19,469
You know what,
why don't I do it?
488
00:20:19,511 --> 00:20:20,720
Okay?
489
00:20:20,762 --> 00:20:22,639
Michael adores me. I'm the man
for this job.
490
00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:23,765
Charles, you got
my back on this?
491
00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:24,891
No, Jim, I think
you should go.
492
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:25,767
Okay.
493
00:20:25,809 --> 00:20:27,352
So I'll be back in a--
494
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:28,478
back in a bit.
495
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:30,605
Yes.
496
00:20:30,647 --> 00:20:31,856
We are going to try
497
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:34,818
and buy out the Michael
Scott Paper Company.
498
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:36,695
I do not know what to expect.
499
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,614
I expected Michael's branch
to fail and it didn't.
500
00:20:39,656 --> 00:20:42,534
I expected his company
to fail and it didn't.
501
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:45,120
I now expect these
negotiations to fail.
502
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:48,164
So hopefully everything
will be fine.
503
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,253
(knocking)
[Michael] Come in.
504
00:20:53,294 --> 00:20:55,797
Hey, can I talk to
you guys for a second?
505
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:57,007
We're not hiring, Jim.
506
00:20:57,048 --> 00:20:58,258
Actually here
for something else.
507
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,509
Listen, I can't make
you laugh right now.
508
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,136
You know I love a
good guessing game,
509
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,554
but why don't I just tell
you what I'm here for?
510
00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,639
Turns out you guys have
made a pretty big dent
511
00:21:04,681 --> 00:21:05,890
in the Dunder Mifflin sales.
512
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,308
Well that's nice.
513
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:08,560
David Wallace has asked
me to come down here
514
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,978
and see if you
would be interested
515
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:12,522
in Dunder Mifflin
buying you out.
516
00:21:12,564 --> 00:21:13,523
Seriously?
517
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:15,817
Are you being serious?
518
00:21:15,859 --> 00:21:17,027
He's bluffing, Pam.
519
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:17,944
Jim, what you
don't understand is
520
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,320
that this company's worth--
521
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:20,113
Oh!
522
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:21,656
No, we don't have any--
523
00:21:21,698 --> 00:21:23,158
Oh!
524
00:21:23,199 --> 00:21:24,868
See, I'm here to learn as
little information as possible.
525
00:21:24,909 --> 00:21:26,369
All I really need to hear is
526
00:21:26,411 --> 00:21:29,831
if your incredibly successful
company would be receptive
527
00:21:29,873 --> 00:21:30,790
to a buyout.
528
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,715
- Yes.
- Yes.
529
00:21:38,757 --> 00:21:40,592
- Maybe.
- Three yeses.
530
00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,344
I will see Titans of
industry upstairs.
531
00:21:42,385 --> 00:21:44,596
Yes. Well we're not only tight ends.
532
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,139
We are also quarterbacks.
533
00:21:46,181 --> 00:21:47,223
Missed the last part.
534
00:21:47,265 --> 00:21:48,892
- That's a pun.
- Got it.
535
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:49,726
Yep.
536
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:56,024
Oh... wow.
(Pam giggles)
537
00:21:56,066 --> 00:21:57,400
I'm very nervous.
538
00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:59,069
This is a classic
David and Goliath.
539
00:21:59,110 --> 00:22:03,156
Only I am David and David
is Goliath named David
540
00:22:03,198 --> 00:22:05,742
and Pam and Ryan are both David
541
00:22:05,784 --> 00:22:10,622
and Charles is Othello.
542
00:22:12,290 --> 00:22:14,584
Dr. Rosenberg, please.
543
00:22:14,626 --> 00:22:16,461
My smile is very important
to me as a salesman.
544
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:18,546
I believe that it
boosts my confidence
545
00:22:18,588 --> 00:22:21,383
and increases my
sales accordingly.
546
00:22:21,424 --> 00:22:25,053
Therefore, I believe that the
547
00:22:25,095 --> 00:22:27,639
Porcelax Brand Porcelain Veneers
548
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:29,557
as well as the invisible
braces provided
549
00:22:29,599 --> 00:22:33,061
by Dr. Rosenberg are in
fact a business expense.
550
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:35,230
And I would very much
appreciate a letter
551
00:22:35,271 --> 00:22:38,441
from Dr. Rosenberg
stating that fact.
552
00:22:39,776 --> 00:22:40,777
So--
553
00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,279
Great.
554
00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:46,950
And maybe throw in one of
those root beer lollipops.
555
00:22:46,991 --> 00:22:49,577
'Cause I can't find
those anywhere.
556
00:22:49,619 --> 00:22:51,037
Okay.
557
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:53,623
So you're not gonna reveal
in any way that we're broke.
558
00:22:53,665 --> 00:22:54,666
Of course not.
559
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,167
We don't have any
problems at all.
560
00:22:56,209 --> 00:22:58,253
Right. Just to reiterate,
561
00:22:58,294 --> 00:22:59,504
none of us is going
to say anything
562
00:22:59,546 --> 00:23:01,881
that might indicate
we are going broke.
563
00:23:01,923 --> 00:23:03,174
Right, right.
564
00:23:03,216 --> 00:23:05,593
There is no way in hell
that I am going to say
565
00:23:05,635 --> 00:23:06,886
that we're broke.
566
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:09,431
(elevator dings)
567
00:23:09,472 --> 00:23:11,933
Oh, I'm really worried
I'm gonna say it.
568
00:23:11,975 --> 00:23:12,767
No, Michael.
569
00:23:12,809 --> 00:23:13,893
No, man.
570
00:23:13,935 --> 00:23:15,687
You're fine.
571
00:23:15,729 --> 00:23:17,105
We have to come from
a position of strength.
572
00:23:17,147 --> 00:23:18,940
Just put it out of your mind.
573
00:23:18,982 --> 00:23:19,858
It is.
574
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:20,692
I'm good.
575
00:23:25,655 --> 00:23:26,448
Hello.
576
00:23:26,489 --> 00:23:27,907
Hi.
577
00:23:27,949 --> 00:23:29,367
Michael Scott Paper Company
to see Mr. David Wallace.
578
00:23:29,409 --> 00:23:31,578
I believe we're expected.
579
00:23:35,540 --> 00:23:38,626
Well, well, well
how the turntables--
580
00:23:47,510 --> 00:23:48,345
Oh.
581
00:23:49,262 --> 00:23:52,223
If these walls could talk.
582
00:23:52,265 --> 00:23:56,227
The times that we
have had in this room.
583
00:23:56,269 --> 00:23:57,187
Okay.
584
00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:59,272
I can feel the ghosts.
585
00:24:00,357 --> 00:24:02,567
- Okay.
- All around us.
586
00:24:02,609 --> 00:24:06,988
Michael, in order to
expedite these negotiations,
587
00:24:07,030 --> 00:24:09,324
we are prepared to make
you a very generous offer.
588
00:24:09,366 --> 00:24:12,494
And we are prepared
to reject that offer.
589
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:13,620
Michael, you
haven't even heard--
590
00:24:13,661 --> 00:24:15,872
Never accept
their first offer.
591
00:24:15,914 --> 00:24:17,582
What is your second offer?
592
00:24:17,624 --> 00:24:18,458
$12,000.
593
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:20,960
Are you kidding me?
594
00:24:21,002 --> 00:24:22,754
That is insultingly low.
595
00:24:22,796 --> 00:24:25,924
I don't even want to hear
what your first offer was.
596
00:24:25,965 --> 00:24:27,634
What do you hear?
597
00:24:27,676 --> 00:24:30,512
(mumbling)
598
00:24:30,553 --> 00:24:31,638
Here's the situation.
599
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,473
Your company is four weeks old.
600
00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:34,599
I know this business.
601
00:24:34,641 --> 00:24:35,850
I know what suppliers
are charging.
602
00:24:35,892 --> 00:24:38,269
I know you can't be
making very much money.
603
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:39,854
I don't know how your
prices are so low,
604
00:24:39,896 --> 00:24:42,357
but I know it can't
keep up that way.
605
00:24:42,399 --> 00:24:44,984
I'm sure you're scared.
606
00:24:45,026 --> 00:24:46,569
Probably in debt.
607
00:24:46,611 --> 00:24:48,613
That's the best offer
you're gonna get.
608
00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:51,908
I'll see your situation and
I'll raise you a situation.
609
00:24:51,950 --> 00:24:54,744
Your company is losing
clients left and right.
610
00:24:54,786 --> 00:24:56,955
You have a stockholder
meeting coming up
611
00:24:56,996 --> 00:24:58,915
and you are going to
have to explain to them
612
00:24:58,957 --> 00:25:02,669
why your most profitable
branch is bleeding.
613
00:25:04,087 --> 00:25:06,631
So they may be looking for
a little change in the CFO.
614
00:25:06,673 --> 00:25:08,550
So I don't think I need to
wait out Dunder Mifflin.
615
00:25:08,591 --> 00:25:11,553
I think I just have
to wait out you.
616
00:25:13,680 --> 00:25:14,723
Okay.
617
00:25:14,764 --> 00:25:15,932
Now I don't know
that I can get this.
618
00:25:15,974 --> 00:25:20,103
I do have to go to the
board for approval.
619
00:25:20,145 --> 00:25:22,772
How's about $60,000?
620
00:25:25,984 --> 00:25:26,776
Hmm?
621
00:25:27,986 --> 00:25:29,779
60,000.
622
00:25:30,196 --> 00:25:31,406
Michael?
623
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:32,449
What?
624
00:25:34,200 --> 00:25:35,326
We're gonna have to talk--
625
00:25:35,368 --> 00:25:38,163
We're gonna have
to talk about this.
626
00:25:38,204 --> 00:25:40,331
Please take the room.
627
00:25:40,373 --> 00:25:42,375
We are outside.
628
00:25:42,417 --> 00:25:43,710
Take your time.
629
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,674
Oh my God. Oh my God.
630
00:25:49,716 --> 00:25:52,093
- $60,000?
- We are so rich.
631
00:25:59,809 --> 00:26:02,020
(groaning)
632
00:26:05,482 --> 00:26:06,566
Hurry up.
633
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:08,985
Hurry up.
634
00:26:09,027 --> 00:26:09,861
Hurry up.
635
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:11,071
Hurry up.
636
00:26:11,112 --> 00:26:12,447
♪ Hurry up, hurry up,
hurry up, up, up. ♪
637
00:26:12,489 --> 00:26:13,656
♪ Hurry up, hurry up,
hurry up, up, up. ♪
638
00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,367
♪ Hurry up, hurry up,
hurry up, up, up. ♪
639
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:16,618
♪ Hurry up, hurry up, up, up. ♪
640
00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:17,869
♪ Hurry up, up, up,
up, up, up. ♪
641
00:26:17,911 --> 00:26:18,995
Hurry up--
642
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:20,538
No, you idiot. I'm asking you to
hurry up.
643
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:23,083
I'm dancing as fast as I can.
644
00:26:27,087 --> 00:26:28,588
Wow, Jerry.
645
00:26:28,630 --> 00:26:30,590
The one who got away.
646
00:26:31,925 --> 00:26:35,095
May I ask why you're leaving the
Michael Scott Paper Company?
647
00:26:37,764 --> 00:26:38,598
Really?
648
00:26:40,934 --> 00:26:41,851
Please hold.
649
00:26:49,317 --> 00:26:50,151
Charles.
650
00:26:50,193 --> 00:26:51,152
Dwight.
651
00:26:51,194 --> 00:26:52,320
May I have your attention?
652
00:26:52,362 --> 00:26:54,239
The Michael Scott
Paper Company is broke.
653
00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:55,365
What?
654
00:26:55,407 --> 00:26:56,616
How did you hear that?
655
00:26:56,658 --> 00:26:58,410
They've been calling
all of their clients
656
00:26:58,451 --> 00:26:59,703
and begging them
to pay more money.
657
00:26:59,744 --> 00:27:01,371
It can only mean one thing.
They're desperate.
658
00:27:01,413 --> 00:27:02,539
Which can only mean one thing.
659
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:04,624
They are total failures.
660
00:27:04,666 --> 00:27:05,458
Great work, Dwight.
661
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:06,751
Quiet you.
662
00:27:06,793 --> 00:27:07,919
No, I mean, great
detective work.
663
00:27:07,961 --> 00:27:08,837
'Cause this must
be the first case
664
00:27:08,878 --> 00:27:09,754
you've ever cracked, right?
665
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,172
You don't crack a case.
666
00:27:11,214 --> 00:27:12,465
That a pejorative connotation.
667
00:27:12,507 --> 00:27:13,675
It's like calling
a policeman a cop.
668
00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:16,428
You solve a case and
yes, I've solved plenty.
669
00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:18,555
So, how long can
they stay viable?
670
00:27:18,596 --> 00:27:20,557
What are your top five cases?
671
00:27:20,598 --> 00:27:21,725
I'm gonna answer
Charles first.
672
00:27:21,766 --> 00:27:22,517
Because you've
solved zero cases.
673
00:27:22,559 --> 00:27:23,601
Okay.
674
00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:25,353
One, case of the beet bandit.
675
00:27:25,395 --> 00:27:27,105
Missing beets from
all over the farm.
676
00:27:27,147 --> 00:27:27,939
No footprints.
677
00:27:27,981 --> 00:27:29,232
Inside job.
678
00:27:29,274 --> 00:27:30,483
Mose in socks.
679
00:27:30,525 --> 00:27:31,943
Boom, case closed.
680
00:27:31,985 --> 00:27:34,654
Case two, Meredith's
hair, bozo red,
681
00:27:34,696 --> 00:27:36,281
a color not found in nature.
682
00:27:36,322 --> 00:27:37,282
What's the answer?
683
00:27:37,323 --> 00:27:38,283
Color blindness.
684
00:27:38,324 --> 00:27:39,242
She thinks she's a brunette.
685
00:27:39,284 --> 00:27:40,118
Case closed.
686
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,619
Okay.
687
00:27:41,661 --> 00:27:43,455
Do not go anywhere in
near the conference room.
688
00:27:43,496 --> 00:27:45,081
Done.
689
00:27:45,123 --> 00:27:47,876
Because you have embarrassed
me for the last time today.
690
00:27:47,917 --> 00:27:48,585
Got it?
691
00:27:48,626 --> 00:27:49,627
I'm not following you.
692
00:27:49,669 --> 00:27:51,796
- You two are morons.
- Got it.
693
00:27:53,006 --> 00:27:53,798
Get out.
694
00:27:57,510 --> 00:27:59,054
So you've thought
it over, yes?
695
00:27:59,095 --> 00:28:00,680
And you accept our offer?
696
00:28:00,722 --> 00:28:04,392
We can finally put this
whole thing behind us?
697
00:28:04,434 --> 00:28:05,977
Hmm?
698
00:28:06,019 --> 00:28:06,811
No.
699
00:28:09,522 --> 00:28:13,443
Can you give us
another minute please?
700
00:28:13,485 --> 00:28:14,277
Yeah.
701
00:28:15,612 --> 00:28:16,613
Okay.
702
00:28:27,082 --> 00:28:28,750
How could you do
this to me, Michael?
703
00:28:28,792 --> 00:28:30,669
You just cost me $60,000.
704
00:28:30,710 --> 00:28:32,337
Why are you assuming
you'd get the whole thing?
705
00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:33,797
It's a lot of money, okay?
706
00:28:33,838 --> 00:28:35,924
But we need money
coming in every week.
707
00:28:35,965 --> 00:28:37,676
We need jobs.
708
00:28:37,717 --> 00:28:41,179
Wouldn't you rather a
fishing pole than a fish?
709
00:28:41,221 --> 00:28:44,349
I would rather have
$60,000, honestly.
710
00:28:44,391 --> 00:28:46,059
No, Michael's right.
711
00:28:46,101 --> 00:28:47,185
Jobs are safer.
712
00:28:49,062 --> 00:28:49,854
Agreed?
713
00:28:50,939 --> 00:28:51,773
Agreed.
714
00:28:51,815 --> 00:28:53,858
But that's all, okay?
715
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:55,110
[Ryan] Yeah. Discuss these things.
716
00:28:55,151 --> 00:28:57,654
Chop chop!
Hello!
717
00:28:59,572 --> 00:29:03,660
And now with no
further red dit dit ado,
718
00:29:03,702 --> 00:29:04,744
my revised expense report.
719
00:29:04,786 --> 00:29:05,620
The deadline's passed.
720
00:29:05,662 --> 00:29:07,706
What? When?
721
00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:09,791
When you were
saying red dit dit do.
722
00:29:09,833 --> 00:29:11,835
It's red dit dit ado.
723
00:29:11,876 --> 00:29:15,505
I know, I've always
been such a fan of it.
724
00:29:15,547 --> 00:29:16,631
Wow.
725
00:29:16,673 --> 00:29:18,717
I'm a little shocked.
726
00:29:18,758 --> 00:29:21,803
Usually I side with
corporations against labor,
727
00:29:21,845 --> 00:29:24,389
now I'm like totally confused.
728
00:29:24,431 --> 00:29:25,807
I want my old job back.
729
00:29:25,849 --> 00:29:28,018
I want my old
parking space back.
730
00:29:28,059 --> 00:29:29,269
I want a Sebring.
731
00:29:29,310 --> 00:29:30,729
They don't make them anymore.
732
00:29:30,770 --> 00:29:33,648
And I want Charles gone.
733
00:29:33,690 --> 00:29:35,984
I'm not firing Charles. He's
very valuable.
734
00:29:36,026 --> 00:29:37,235
That's very kind
of you to say, David.
735
00:29:37,277 --> 00:29:38,236
I need him gone.
736
00:29:38,278 --> 00:29:39,529
No.
737
00:29:39,571 --> 00:29:41,156
Okay, then I want Pam back.
738
00:29:41,197 --> 00:29:42,991
Ah, you already have
a new receptionist.
739
00:29:43,033 --> 00:29:44,409
Sales.
740
00:29:44,451 --> 00:29:45,910
Thank you.
741
00:29:45,952 --> 00:29:47,245
Pam's not a salesperson.
742
00:29:47,287 --> 00:29:48,913
Yes, she is.
743
00:29:48,955 --> 00:29:51,624
At the Michael Scott Paper
Company in its heyday.
744
00:29:51,666 --> 00:29:52,542
That's right.
745
00:29:52,584 --> 00:29:54,127
Okay.
746
00:29:54,169 --> 00:29:55,253
Please continue.
747
00:29:55,295 --> 00:29:56,713
And Ryan.
748
00:29:56,755 --> 00:29:58,590
Ryan costs Dunder
Mifflin hundreds
749
00:29:58,631 --> 00:30:00,216
of thousands of
dollars, Michael.
750
00:30:00,258 --> 00:30:01,801
Ryan--
751
00:30:01,843 --> 00:30:04,179
David, I don't care if Ryan
murdered his entire family,
752
00:30:04,220 --> 00:30:05,472
he is like a son to me.
753
00:30:05,513 --> 00:30:06,931
Do you realize what
you're asking for here?
754
00:30:06,973 --> 00:30:10,185
You're talking about salary
plus health benefits--
755
00:30:10,226 --> 00:30:11,728
And dental this time.
756
00:30:11,770 --> 00:30:14,272
Insurance, taxes, social
security for three people.
757
00:30:14,314 --> 00:30:15,940
This is a heck of a
lot more than 60 grand.
758
00:30:15,982 --> 00:30:17,817
You're talking about a
multimillion dollar buyout.
759
00:30:17,859 --> 00:30:19,110
These are our demands.
760
00:30:19,152 --> 00:30:21,446
Your company cannot
be worth that much.
761
00:30:21,488 --> 00:30:24,199
Our company is worth nothing.
762
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,076
That's the difference
between you and I.
763
00:30:26,117 --> 00:30:29,079
Business isn't about
money to me, David.
764
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:31,164
If tomorrow my
company goes under,
765
00:30:31,206 --> 00:30:33,166
I will just start
another paper company
766
00:30:33,208 --> 00:30:35,794
and then another and
another and another.
767
00:30:35,835 --> 00:30:37,671
I have no shortage
of company names.
768
00:30:37,712 --> 00:30:38,588
Michael--
769
00:30:38,630 --> 00:30:39,506
That's one of them!
770
00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:40,590
Yes.
771
00:30:40,632 --> 00:30:42,467
These are our demands.
772
00:30:42,509 --> 00:30:44,177
This is what we want.
773
00:30:45,053 --> 00:30:47,389
Our balls are in your court.
774
00:30:55,647 --> 00:30:56,940
Okay.
775
00:30:56,981 --> 00:30:57,732
Deal.
776
00:30:59,984 --> 00:31:00,777
Okay?
777
00:31:01,820 --> 00:31:05,156
Can we have the room, please?
778
00:31:05,198 --> 00:31:05,990
Yeah.
779
00:31:21,631 --> 00:31:24,509
(all cheering)
780
00:31:24,551 --> 00:31:26,594
[Michael] Can you believe it?
781
00:31:26,636 --> 00:31:27,512
Yes!
782
00:31:27,554 --> 00:31:28,763
Yes, yes, yes!
783
00:31:30,015 --> 00:31:32,726
That's what I'm talking about!
784
00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:35,979
Well, that
unpleasantness is over.
785
00:31:36,021 --> 00:31:38,565
I have to say I liked it.
786
00:31:38,606 --> 00:31:40,608
Yes. You got everything you wanted.
787
00:31:40,650 --> 00:31:43,903
No, I just got
everything I asked for.
788
00:31:45,530 --> 00:31:49,743
Hey, did you hear about what
Hammer Mill is doing lately?
789
00:31:49,784 --> 00:31:51,077
Yeah.
790
00:31:51,119 --> 00:31:52,203
Yeah, yeah.
791
00:31:52,245 --> 00:31:55,457
But I just interpreted
it as you know,
792
00:31:55,498 --> 00:31:57,876
trying to reinvent themselves.
793
00:31:57,917 --> 00:31:59,252
I figured it was
because of the tax breaks.
794
00:31:59,294 --> 00:32:02,297
I thought the same
thing, but you never know.
795
00:32:02,339 --> 00:32:04,674
All right. Thanks Michael.
I'll see you later.
796
00:32:04,716 --> 00:32:06,509
Okay. See you soon.
797
00:32:09,429 --> 00:32:10,805
- Hey boss.
- Hey.
798
00:32:10,847 --> 00:32:12,182
Hey. Umm...
799
00:32:12,223 --> 00:32:13,725
Any chance I could
get your Hancock
800
00:32:13,767 --> 00:32:15,560
on this here expense report?
801
00:32:15,602 --> 00:32:16,936
Sure thing.
802
00:32:16,978 --> 00:32:18,730
What do we have? Wow.
803
00:32:18,772 --> 00:32:20,565
That looks like a fun month.
804
00:32:20,607 --> 00:32:21,691
I can actually explain--
805
00:32:21,733 --> 00:32:24,319
No explanation necessary.
806
00:32:24,361 --> 00:32:26,237
I hardily approve.
807
00:32:26,279 --> 00:32:27,906
Let them eat cake.
808
00:32:27,947 --> 00:32:29,574
Or Courvoisier as it were.
809
00:32:29,616 --> 00:32:31,284
Right. Thanks.
810
00:32:39,292 --> 00:32:41,002
[Michael] There are
certain defining moments
811
00:32:41,044 --> 00:32:42,921
in a person's life.
812
00:32:42,962 --> 00:32:45,090
The day he's born,
the day he grows hair,
813
00:32:45,131 --> 00:32:47,133
the day he starts a business
814
00:32:47,175 --> 00:32:52,097
and the day he sells that
business back to Dunder Mifflin.
815
00:32:52,138 --> 00:32:54,599
What have I learned from all of
this?
816
00:32:54,641 --> 00:32:57,018
It is far too early to tell.
817
00:32:57,060 --> 00:32:59,312
I just know that
I am flying high
818
00:32:59,354 --> 00:33:00,897
and I don't even want
to think about it.
819
00:33:00,939 --> 00:33:02,732
I just wanna enjoy it.
820
00:33:02,774 --> 00:33:03,608
Hey guys--
821
00:33:03,650 --> 00:33:05,985
No. No, you're done.
822
00:33:11,199 --> 00:33:12,826
(door shuts)
823
00:33:28,883 --> 00:33:31,928
(car door shuts)
(engine starts)
824
00:33:42,856 --> 00:33:47,944
(bright upbeat music)
55594
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