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1
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:11,136
[Michael] Up!
2
00:00:12,762 --> 00:00:14,055
(claps hands)
3
00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,849
Things are a little slow here,
4
00:00:15,890 --> 00:00:19,394
and there's only so much cold
calling you can do in a day.
5
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:20,645
Turns out there's no limit
6
00:00:20,687 --> 00:00:21,896
to the number of cheese
puffs you can throw
7
00:00:21,938 --> 00:00:23,314
at someone's face.
8
00:00:23,356 --> 00:00:24,149
[Michael] Up!
9
00:00:24,190 --> 00:00:26,818
(crunching)
10
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,445
We're getting
pretty good at it.
11
00:00:41,666 --> 00:00:44,419
(hands slapping)
12
00:00:51,384 --> 00:00:54,220
(Michael groaning)
13
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,683
(phone rings)
14
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,518
Michael Scott Paper Company.
15
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:03,355
(muffled laughter)
16
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:06,941
(bright upbeat music)
17
00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,766
Who is that knocking
on my taste buds?
18
00:01:39,808 --> 00:01:43,228
{\an8}Why, it's Mr. Lemon.
Hmm, nice to meet you.
19
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,062
{\an8}It's good.
20
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,981
{\an8}But won't it feel weird
cutting into a cross?
21
00:01:47,023 --> 00:01:49,734
{\an8}Don't think of it as a cross
in the Judeo-Christian sense.
22
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,070
Think of it more as a symbol
23
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,864
of your lives
crossing in marriage.
24
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,074
When I think of it like that,
25
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,493
{\an8}I do not think of the
other connotations.
26
00:01:58,535 --> 00:01:59,744
Yes.
27
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,079
I don't think so, Andy.
28
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,582
♪ Ooh ♪
29
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,418
♪ Ooh ♪
30
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:08,294
♪ Ooh ♪
31
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,587
{\an8}♪ Ooh ♪
32
00:02:09,629 --> 00:02:10,839
{\an8}Andy put down a bunch
33
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,674
{\an8}of deposits on stuff for
his wedding with Angela,
34
00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:17,095
{\an8}but then she was sleeping
with Dwight for several years.
35
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,430
{\an8}Wait, no, that can't be right.
36
00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,265
{\an8}No, timeline's messy.
37
00:02:20,306 --> 00:02:22,684
{\an8}Anyway, now we are
going bargain hunting
38
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:24,561
{\an8}in the haunted
graveyard of their love.
39
00:02:24,602 --> 00:02:26,479
{\an8}♪ Do, do, do, do ♪
40
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,398
{\an8}This is my solo.
♪ Ooh ♪
41
00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,233
{\an8}♪ Ooh ♪
42
00:02:31,484 --> 00:02:34,112
(Andy scatting)
43
00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:37,365
♪ Ba da ba ba ♪
44
00:02:37,407 --> 00:02:38,950
♪ Ba da ba ba ♪
45
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,202
♪ Ba da ba ba *
(Andy scatting)
46
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:41,953
♪ Ba ♪
47
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,163
{\an8}I'm confused.
48
00:02:44,539 --> 00:02:46,916
{\an8}Am I walking down the aisle
to "You Can Call Me Al?"
49
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,460
{\an8}Trust me. You
will not be walking.
50
00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:50,795
{\an8}You will be boogieing.
51
00:02:50,837 --> 00:02:52,297
{\an8}I am extremely interested.
52
00:02:52,339 --> 00:02:54,382
{\an8}So how much will
all of this cost?
53
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,967
{\an8}Well, 12 guys, airfare,
54
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,553
{\an8}three nights in a
hotel, food per diem,
55
00:02:58,595 --> 00:03:00,180
{\an8}table up front for merch...
56
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:03,016
{\an8}$9,000.
57
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:05,226
{\an8}I don't know.
58
00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:06,936
{\an8}It seems like a lot
for an acapella group
59
00:03:06,978 --> 00:03:09,064
{\an8}from a college we never went to.
60
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,859
{\an8}Did you even hear the
music I just played for you?
61
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:13,902
Mm-hmm.
62
00:03:13,943 --> 00:03:15,820
Hey, love birds. Good news.
63
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,572
I'm gonna offer my services
64
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,657
as the officiate
of the ceremony.
65
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,659
Only gonna charge you 10%.
66
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,786
10% of what?
67
00:03:22,827 --> 00:03:23,620
The door.
68
00:03:27,749 --> 00:03:29,292
I don't know why I'm down.
69
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:32,212
{\an8}I guess I always thought Andy
would save all of that stuff,
70
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:34,839
{\an8}just in case I
married someone else,
71
00:03:34,881 --> 00:03:36,549
{\an8}and he decided to
throw us a wedding.
72
00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,468
{\an8}That's stupid.
73
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,182
What's wrong with you?
74
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,018
These sleeves are
cutting off my circulation.
75
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,937
There's not enough blood
getting to my hands.
76
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,397
I think you look nice.
77
00:03:50,438 --> 00:03:51,481
Doesn't Charles know
78
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:53,149
he's compromising
my attack readiness?
79
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:56,319
It's not a dress code.
It's a death sentence.
80
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:56,945
Looking good.
81
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:57,946
'Kay. Thank you.
82
00:04:01,157 --> 00:04:02,826
It's a straight jacket.
83
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:03,618
Okay.
84
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,038
When Michael was in charge,
85
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:09,290
this place was like
the Roman Empire,
86
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:14,254
and the Wild West, and
war-torn Poland, and Poland.
87
00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,675
It was just a lot going on.
88
00:04:18,717 --> 00:04:22,012
So what you wore to work was
the least of anybody's worries.
89
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,431
And in that chaos, I soared.
90
00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,853
- Hey.
- [Michael] Hey.
91
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,146
Ed's Tires is thinking
of making a change.
92
00:04:31,187 --> 00:04:32,397
[Michael] Is this good?
93
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,107
They have some
great kitchen ideas.
94
00:04:34,149 --> 00:04:36,735
Oh, okay. Ed's Tires, huh?
95
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:37,652
It's small. I know.
96
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:42,115
I really appreciate it.
97
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,033
[Dwight] Thanks, Michael.
98
00:04:43,074 --> 00:04:44,576
Wait, what, what is this?
99
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,036
It's for your trouble.
100
00:04:46,077 --> 00:04:48,246
I don't need $6
to help a friend.
101
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:48,955
No, no.
102
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:50,582
Listen. As a friend.
103
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:51,583
- I want you to have it.
- Michael, you know
104
00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:52,417
I can't take this.
105
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,044
Yes, I do.
106
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,920
But don't forget,
you owe me $10.
107
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:57,422
It was four years ago.
Why don't you let it go?
108
00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,673
[Dwight] Michael.
109
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,051
We're friends. We do
things for each other.
110
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,552
He gives me leads,
111
00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,262
and I take the leads from
him, and in exchange,
112
00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,889
it makes him feel good.
113
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,349
And if a friend can't
make you feel good,
114
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,434
then I don't want any
friends, except Dwight,
115
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:13,021
because he is our only
source of fertile leads.
116
00:05:13,063 --> 00:05:15,607
(pen tapping)
117
00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:21,112
(Andy sighs)
118
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:22,655
What was up with
Pam being all pushy
119
00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:24,115
and negative in there?
120
00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,784
I think she just didn't
want a crucifix cake.
121
00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,243
- Do you?
- No.
122
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:28,912
Is that because
you don't want one
123
00:05:28,953 --> 00:05:30,288
or because Pam doesn't want one?
124
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:33,041
Pretty sure neither
of us want one.
125
00:05:33,083 --> 00:05:35,335
Really? 'Cause that's
not what I'm getting.
126
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,548
It scares me to see you going
down a road that I went down.
127
00:05:40,590 --> 00:05:42,008
Am I going down a road?
128
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:43,635
When Michael told me that
Angela was cheating on me,
129
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,845
he stopped me for making the
worst mistake of my life.
130
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,138
Yes.
131
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,640
Now I have to pay
that forward to you.
132
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,225
Wait a minute.
133
00:05:50,266 --> 00:05:52,894
Are you telling me that Pam
is cheating on me with Dwight?
134
00:05:52,936 --> 00:05:54,646
Disgusting.
135
00:05:54,688 --> 00:05:58,650
No, I, when I see her
bossing you around like that,
136
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,193
it just makes me wonder
137
00:06:00,235 --> 00:06:05,240
if this thing really has
the legs to go the distance.
138
00:06:06,866 --> 00:06:10,120
It's so scary how right
the things you're saying are,
139
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,331
and you're coming at it
with almost no knowledge.
140
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,001
So, of course, I trust
your opinion on this.
141
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,461
I know a few
things about love,
142
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:23,425
horrible, terrible,
awful, awful things.
143
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:26,177
I was gonna use today to purge
my inbox.
144
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,596
But now, something much
more pressing has come up.
145
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,350
Ed's Tires, why
don't you tell them
146
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,477
that we have fewer clients,
147
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:37,188
so that we can spend more
time with each of them?
148
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,442
Also, try to discuss
it over Indian food,
149
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,695
and try to mention how
you distrust women.
150
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:44,988
I'm not gonna do that.
151
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,240
That is smart. That
would not seem genuine.
152
00:06:47,282 --> 00:06:49,034
- Ryan?
- I can get there.
153
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:50,201
Good. You take the
lead on this one.
154
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,786
Also, do not forget
155
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,872
that he has just gone
through a messy divorce.
156
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,873
Oh, awesome.
157
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:56,374
Bring it in, morning cheer.
158
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,671
(Michael clears throat)
159
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:05,425
[All] U-G-L-Y, you ain't
got no alibi, you ugly.
160
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,718
Huh, huh!
161
00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,387
[All] You ugly! Your
mama say you ugly, hey!
162
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:11,973
Go Michael Scott Paper Company!
163
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,934
(Michael applauds)
164
00:07:14,976 --> 00:07:17,687
I'm here. I'm
part of this now.
165
00:07:19,814 --> 00:07:22,609
- You needed to speak to me?
- Dwight, take a seat.
166
00:07:22,650 --> 00:07:25,070
I prefer to stand,
less blood clots.
167
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,322
Nah, that's weird.
You're gonna sit.
168
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:29,866
Great.
169
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:31,284
You know, Dwight,
170
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,578
it has been quite a
transition for all of us.
171
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,873
Are you happy with the way
things have been running lately?
172
00:07:36,915 --> 00:07:38,124
Why do you ask?
173
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,125
Do you mean compared
to the way things ran
174
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,043
with other bosses?
175
00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:41,544
Comparisons are hard.
176
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,046
I've just been impressed
with your performance.
177
00:07:43,088 --> 00:07:45,924
And I wanted to make sure good
work doesn't go unnoticed.
178
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:49,052
- Your concern is noted.
- Yeah. I like your work ethic.
179
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:51,221
You're so, sss, focused.
180
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:52,472
Like a wolf. Thank you.
181
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:56,017
I wanna start giving
you more responsibility.
182
00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:58,812
What do you say you and I go
out for a drink this week?
183
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,606
Really?
184
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,440
Definitely.
185
00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,777
Mm, it's firm.
186
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:11,241
Good.
(phone rings)
187
00:08:11,282 --> 00:08:12,367
Should you get that?
188
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,077
In a moment.
189
00:08:14,119 --> 00:08:15,995
(phone rings)
190
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,247
I need you to
get me the prices
191
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:18,915
that you're charging Ed's Tires,
192
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,001
so I can undercut
Dunder Mifflin.
193
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:23,128
I don't know that
I can do that now.
194
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,921
You know, something's come up.
195
00:08:24,963 --> 00:08:26,339
Oh no. Is it Mose?
196
00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:28,717
Did you put the
cover on that well?
197
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,844
No, Mose is fine.
I roped it off.
198
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,095
It's not about Mose.
199
00:08:32,137 --> 00:08:34,139
Listen, things are
changing here, Michael.
200
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:35,974
They're changing fast.
201
00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,267
I'm not following you.
202
00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:42,230
Imagine someone
has a personal hero
203
00:08:42,272 --> 00:08:43,606
they really wanna help.
204
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,276
But then there's this new guy,
205
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:50,572
very cool, Very
Will Smith-esque,
206
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,867
who would not like it
if he helped his hero.
207
00:08:53,908 --> 00:08:56,202
Personal hero. Cool, new guy.
208
00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:58,288
Okay. I think I'm
getting your drift.
209
00:08:58,329 --> 00:08:59,956
Good. So you see
what I'm saying?
210
00:08:59,998 --> 00:09:00,832
Crystal clear.
211
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,002
So is this for a movie
that you're writing?
212
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,003
[Dwight] No.
213
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:05,712
[Michael] Can I use it?
214
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:08,673
[Dwight] No.
215
00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,301
(tapping paper)
216
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,807
Dwight, are you
talking about us?
217
00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,393
[Dwight] It is possible that
I could be talking about us.
218
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:22,354
Someone could say it is
219
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,273
like the situation
that we are in now.
220
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,567
[Dwight] It is the
situation we are in now.
221
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:32,322
So I would say that the
old boss has always been good
222
00:09:32,364 --> 00:09:34,699
to Dwight, and he
was there first.
223
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:36,326
So he has dibs.
224
00:09:36,368 --> 00:09:38,161
You respect dibs, don't you?
225
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:39,829
I'm not a barbarian.
226
00:09:39,871 --> 00:09:42,791
[Michael] Good. Meet me
in 20 minutes at the spot.
227
00:09:43,917 --> 00:09:45,043
I will.
228
00:09:45,085 --> 00:09:45,877
[Michael] Dwight.
229
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:46,753
Yes?
230
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,422
Is the cool new guy Charles?
231
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,882
I said too much.
232
00:09:50,924 --> 00:09:52,717
Is it Stanley?
233
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:53,760
Hey, Andy.
234
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:56,054
You know, I've been thinking
about what you said and--
235
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,347
Noice.
236
00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,765
I just don't know
if I can do it.
237
00:09:58,807 --> 00:10:00,266
That's interesting, because
what I hear you saying
238
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:03,770
is that you do want to do it,
which means you can do it.
239
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,314
[Andy] Believe me, I broke
up with Angela and I'm like,
240
00:10:06,356 --> 00:10:08,441
the happiest guy ever.
241
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,902
I mean, I'm so happy.
242
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:12,445
I'm so happy.
243
00:10:12,487 --> 00:10:14,572
Like, total freedom, you know?
244
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,533
It's just that Pam gets me
through the day, you know?
245
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:18,326
- Hmm.
- I really rely on her.
246
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,286
I'm pretty emotionally needy.
247
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,454
And you know what?
248
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:23,873
I am here for you.
249
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:28,795
Let me be your traveling pants.
250
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:32,924
(Andy gasps)
251
00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:33,925
Ow! What'd you do that for?
252
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,510
(both laugh)
253
00:10:35,552 --> 00:10:37,053
You know what I was doing.
254
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:37,846
Totally
255
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:41,641
Hello Dwight,
what's with the shirt?
256
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,354
Are you all right?
257
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:47,814
I'm sorry, Michael.
258
00:10:47,856 --> 00:10:49,065
[Charles] Hi, Michael.
259
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,400
Oh my god! Run, run! It's a
setup, setup!
260
00:10:50,442 --> 00:10:51,317
No, no. Michael, Michael.
261
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,402
Dwight, run!
262
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,029
Michael, no just be cool.
Okay?
263
00:10:54,070 --> 00:10:54,863
You be cool.
264
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,197
Yes.
265
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:57,532
Just, what's going on?
266
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:59,993
We need to talk
about our two companies
267
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,578
and how we should behave.
268
00:11:01,619 --> 00:11:05,331
Dwight tells me you've been
pestering him for company info.
269
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:08,126
Mm, oh... Dwight would not
270
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,044
He did.
271
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,337
I did, Michael.
272
00:11:10,378 --> 00:11:11,463
I was upset about the
shirt sleeves at first,
273
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:12,964
but now I'm okay with it.
274
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,591
Michael I want you to
stop pestering my salesman
275
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,134
and I want you to leave
Dunder Mifflin alone.
276
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,010
Do you understand?
277
00:11:19,262 --> 00:11:22,724
I understand nothing.
278
00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,314
(door opening)
279
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,482
Michael, are you all right?
280
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,900
It was a setup.
281
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:33,860
Dwight told Charles,
he told him.
282
00:11:33,902 --> 00:11:35,153
Tell us what
you're talking about.
283
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:35,945
Yeah.
284
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,075
It's like a girl says
she'll make out with you,
285
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:42,452
but then her boyfriend is
waiting around the corner
286
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,120
with a pee filled balloon.
287
00:11:44,162 --> 00:11:47,374
We can't help you if you don't
just tell us what happened.
288
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,293
I got hit in the face with a
pee filled water balloon Pam.
289
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,836
[Michael] Okay?
290
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,171
I don't know how they did
it, they filled the balloon
291
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,464
with pee, a funnel?
292
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,174
I don't know.
293
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,676
Is that clear enough for you?
294
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,555
Betrayal ain't just
a river in Egypt.
295
00:12:04,391 --> 00:12:05,308
[Andy] Hey Jim.
296
00:12:05,350 --> 00:12:06,518
(paper bag slamming)
297
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,936
I just totally
blew a sales call.
298
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,022
Bro, I do that all the time.
299
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:12,691
Yeah well with you
it's different okay?
300
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:13,817
Cause I just...
301
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,945
I just suck, I just, I suck!
302
00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,447
Tuna, be nice to
my friend Jim okay?
303
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,782
Why?
304
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:21,741
When I look in the
mirror I don't like
305
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,493
the face that looks back.
306
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,912
Well, so what
your body's a 10.
307
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,539
I don't wanna talk
about what I look like
308
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,624
I want, tell me my
life's important.
309
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:31,876
That's easy, it's
super important.
310
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,378
Well is it about something?
311
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,088
Yeah, it's super
about something.
312
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:36,631
Okay, you know what it
sounds like you're just putting
313
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,425
the word super in
front of stuff.
314
00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:41,136
(Andy laughing)
315
00:12:41,177 --> 00:12:46,099
Mmm, man that's
exactly what I'm doing.
316
00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:46,975
You are so smart.
317
00:12:47,017 --> 00:12:48,518
Yeah, but I'm not super smart.
318
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:49,477
Come on, I was-
319
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:50,562
Forget it.
320
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,022
- [Andy] Jim!
- I said forget it!
321
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,859
(stomping)
322
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,405
(phone ringing)
323
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:01,239
Dwight Schrute.
324
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:02,282
Hello traitor.
325
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,286
I think you have the
wrong number Michael.
326
00:13:06,327 --> 00:13:10,290
I want you to listen
to me, friend, and I want
327
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:12,250
you to listen to me good.
328
00:13:12,292 --> 00:13:15,086
I am going to come at you,
329
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:18,423
and I am going to
come at you hard.
330
00:13:18,465 --> 00:13:21,301
[Michael] I am going to
steal all of your clients,
331
00:13:21,343 --> 00:13:23,928
and then I am going to
kill them in front of you.
332
00:13:23,970 --> 00:13:24,763
Michael!
333
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:25,930
I'm just getting hardcore.
334
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:26,973
Finally!
335
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,517
Yes, and hear me Dwight.
336
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,644
When I say I brought
you into this world
337
00:13:31,686 --> 00:13:33,521
and I can take you out.
338
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:34,647
Bill Cosby.
339
00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,652
- Mr. Schofield please.
- [Woman] He's in a meeting.
340
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:40,612
Dammit!
341
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,613
(phone slamming)
342
00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:43,073
Is Mr. Schofield there?
343
00:13:43,114 --> 00:13:44,115
[Woman] If you'd
like to reach an outside line
344
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:46,034
- please dial 9 first.
- Oh, shoot.
345
00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,452
(phone slamming)
346
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:49,329
So, you think Michael's
going after the whale, huh?
347
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:51,706
I have a long relationship
with Harper Collin's Publishers
348
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:53,792
and Mr. Schofield,
I'm not worried.
349
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,670
- You sound worried.
- And you have bad skin.
350
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:59,005
Oh look everyone, we're
all making observations.
351
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,340
Ahh!
352
00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,928
Well if you could do be a big
favor and tell Mr. Schofield
353
00:14:04,969 --> 00:14:07,013
that Michael Scott
has tickets to the
354
00:14:07,055 --> 00:14:09,849
Wilkesbury Penguins
game this weekend.
355
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:11,810
And if he would like to join me,
356
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,021
hello Daniel, how are you?
357
00:14:15,063 --> 00:14:16,147
Uh-huh.
358
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,440
I sure do.
359
00:14:17,482 --> 00:14:18,983
Yes.
360
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,944
I wanted to ask, did
Cathy ever make JV?
361
00:14:20,985 --> 00:14:23,822
[Ryan] Look at that old
dude and his Rolodex go.
362
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,825
I spent a month putting that
Rolodex on his Blackberry.
363
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:28,326
Which he now uses
as a nightlight.
364
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,828
[Michael] Wow, high score.
365
00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:31,830
And no, I cannot
lower my current prices.
366
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:32,997
(phone ringing)
367
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:33,873
Hold on.
368
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,335
Hello, Mr. Schofield,
thank you so much
369
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:38,545
for taking the time to talk.
370
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,756
I wanted to discuss
your contract with us.
371
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:44,259
Oh.
372
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:45,260
You're considering him?
373
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:49,389
I thought Michael Scott
left the paper business
374
00:14:49,431 --> 00:14:50,849
after his nervous breakdown.
375
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:53,226
Michael has been
talking to my biggest client.
376
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:56,312
Master and apprentice,
pitted against one another
377
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,190
for the fate of the greater
Scranton area paper market.
378
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:04,571
So it's not exactly like
Highlander, but still.
379
00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:06,322
(Dwight sighs)
380
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:08,074
(phone ringing)
381
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:10,201
Hello Dwight, I've
been expecting your call.
382
00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,453
What do you want?
383
00:15:11,494 --> 00:15:14,247
I would like to
arrange a truce.
384
00:15:14,289 --> 00:15:17,250
So you heard Schofield
is considering a switch
385
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,585
and you want mercy?
386
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,253
Meet me in our
spot in 4 minutes.
387
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,672
No, no you think I'm
going to fall for that?
388
00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:23,673
There's no...
389
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,507
[Dwight] Michael...
390
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:26,134
Meet, okay.
391
00:15:26,176 --> 00:15:28,303
Go to the spot and
then walk 100 feet.
392
00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:31,139
- [Dwight] In which direction?
- Toward the sun.
393
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,058
- At what time?
- [Michael] Noon.
394
00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:34,100
That...
395
00:15:34,142 --> 00:15:35,101
[Michael] You have two seconds.
396
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:40,899
Michael!
397
00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:45,779
Sorry!
398
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,530
Dwight.
399
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:49,032
Michael.
400
00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,367
I hope you're not
recording this conversation.
401
00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:54,913
Good.
402
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,291
I can not believe that
you sided with Charles.
403
00:15:58,333 --> 00:16:00,293
You were making me do things
that were not all right.
404
00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,712
So you just rat me out? You
could have said no.
405
00:16:02,754 --> 00:16:04,130
And not come through for you?
406
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:06,257
If you want a truce,
I will give you a truce.
407
00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,676
I want a truce.
408
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:09,010
I do too.
409
00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:10,428
Let me take you and
your whole company out
410
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:12,138
for lunch at Alfredo's.
411
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,431
Cooper's.
412
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,265
I had fish yesterday.
413
00:16:14,307 --> 00:16:15,517
Dammit.
414
00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:17,060
What?
415
00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:18,645
There's nothing wrong with
not having a backbone.
416
00:16:18,687 --> 00:16:22,273
Some of the deadliest
warriors don't have backbones.
417
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:24,484
Listeria, E Coli.
418
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:27,487
Bacterial diarrhea
has killed more people
419
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,406
than all wars combined.
420
00:16:30,824 --> 00:16:35,286
And when it comes to Michael,
I am his bacterial diarrhea.
421
00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:36,454
(Jim sobbing)
422
00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,623
Okay, okay.
423
00:16:38,665 --> 00:16:40,291
- [Jim] Oh, god.
- Okay Tuna.
424
00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:43,586
Hey guys.
425
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,504
[Jim] Hey.
426
00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:45,338
Hello
427
00:16:46,548 --> 00:16:47,549
Okay.
428
00:16:47,590 --> 00:16:48,842
(phone ringing)
429
00:16:48,883 --> 00:16:50,051
Oh!
430
00:16:50,093 --> 00:16:51,469
Dwight-a-licious where you at?
431
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:52,846
Ah, hi Michael.
432
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:55,974
I'm so sorry I'm late
I got stuck in traffic.
433
00:16:56,016 --> 00:16:57,976
Really? That's weird, we
didn't see any.
434
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,185
I hit a bear.
435
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:00,729
What?
436
00:17:00,770 --> 00:17:02,856
He's technically fine, I
imagine the true horror will be
437
00:17:02,897 --> 00:17:04,232
when he wakes up in a zoo.
438
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,152
[Dwight] Hey listen,
will you do me a favor
439
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,613
and order me the meatball parm
for me, with extra cheese?
440
00:17:10,655 --> 00:17:12,157
Yeah sure.
441
00:17:12,198 --> 00:17:14,242
[Dwight] Good, I will see
you very soon all right?
442
00:17:14,284 --> 00:17:16,036
[Michael] Okay,
see you in a bit.
443
00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:19,289
(metal clanging)
444
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,875
Dwight hit a bear,
he'll be here in a sec.
445
00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:24,461
(door opening)
446
00:17:26,129 --> 00:17:28,465
Oh my god I think
we've been robbed!
447
00:17:28,506 --> 00:17:31,134
(phone ringing)
448
00:17:31,926 --> 00:17:33,178
Yeah?
449
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,387
[Dwight] Did you
enjoy your lunch?
450
00:17:34,429 --> 00:17:36,431
Dwight, not now
we've been robbed.
451
00:17:36,473 --> 00:17:39,392
[Dwight] No Michael,
you were sabotaged.
452
00:17:39,434 --> 00:17:42,937
No, Dwight, we were robbed
how would you even know?
453
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,606
You're still stuck in traffic.
454
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:48,651
You?
455
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,403
Other signs.
456
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:53,573
(paper crinkling)
457
00:17:57,452 --> 00:18:00,580
(paper ruffles softly)
458
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:06,878
(Pam sighs softly)
459
00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,129
[Dwight] Me.
460
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,756
[Michael] What
about our truce?
461
00:18:09,798 --> 00:18:10,715
I broke it.
462
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,175
- On purpose?
- Yes!
463
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,385
Why?
464
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:14,469
Do you think this
is some kind of game?
465
00:18:14,511 --> 00:18:16,721
No, this is a war
and I will not stop.
466
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,223
I will not rest.
467
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:20,100
You have no idea what kind
of enemy you've created.
468
00:18:20,141 --> 00:18:22,227
You have unleashed the wolf.
469
00:18:22,268 --> 00:18:25,563
Be that as it may, I have your
470
00:18:25,605 --> 00:18:30,402
meatball parm sandwich here and
I am going to eat it.
471
00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,070
And I knew that
you would do that.
472
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:35,281
Their meatball parm is
their worst sandwich.
473
00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:46,418
Hi there, Dwight Schrute here.
I was just calling to see
474
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:49,713
if Michael Scott Paper was
meeting all of your paper needs.
475
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,841
And how is Brenda,
age four, ponytail?
476
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,092
And Simon, age seven?
477
00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,136
(chuckles loudly)
478
00:18:56,177 --> 00:18:57,721
You don't say?
479
00:18:57,762 --> 00:18:59,889
Schrute, comma, Dwight.
480
00:18:59,931 --> 00:19:03,768
And on the back he wrote
"great salesman, better friend.
481
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,732
Tall,
482
00:19:08,773 --> 00:19:09,649
and beets."
483
00:19:12,068 --> 00:19:14,029
(phone clinks loudly)
484
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:16,948
Dwight just got Howard
Family Dry Cleaners.
485
00:19:16,990 --> 00:19:18,366
Uncle Dave?
486
00:19:18,408 --> 00:19:19,909
Little jerk is
undercutting us big time.
487
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:21,745
He's actually taking a loss
488
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:23,997
and paying the
difference out of pocket.
489
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:25,206
That's my family.
490
00:19:26,332 --> 00:19:27,792
When you mess with my family,
491
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,504
I can't be responsible
for my actions.
492
00:19:32,756 --> 00:19:34,382
When are you ever
responsible for your actions?
493
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,760
- Get of my ass, you hag!
- Hey. Hey. Hey.
494
00:19:36,801 --> 00:19:39,012
Something about that
seems inappropriate.
495
00:19:39,054 --> 00:19:42,223
(clock ticks softly)
496
00:19:43,558 --> 00:19:46,436
[Jim] Are they looking at me?
497
00:19:46,478 --> 00:19:47,604
- Who?
- Everyone.
498
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:48,813
Everyone just
keeps looking at me.
499
00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:52,067
Are you sure?
500
00:19:52,108 --> 00:19:53,276
Look, they hate me. Okay?
501
00:19:53,318 --> 00:19:54,486
Because I don't fit in.
502
00:19:54,527 --> 00:19:55,695
It's not true.
Everyone loves you.
503
00:19:55,737 --> 00:19:57,405
Will you just talk
to them, please?
504
00:19:57,447 --> 00:19:59,991
- Pam just used to talk to them.
- Who exactly?
505
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,242
Just tell 'em to
stop looking at me.
506
00:20:01,284 --> 00:20:03,286
Okay, but I just don't
understand who I should-
507
00:20:03,328 --> 00:20:04,829
Andy, are you
gonna help me or not?
508
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:07,582
Because I'm really sorry, but I
am flipping out right now.
509
00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:08,625
I can see that.
510
00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:10,293
Yes, of course.
I'll do anything.
511
00:20:10,335 --> 00:20:12,671
I just, I'm like not
sure what I should be-
512
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,838
Pam just knew!
513
00:20:18,093 --> 00:20:20,804
And say hello to Sherry,
514
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:23,723
who is your black wife.
515
00:20:23,765 --> 00:20:28,812
(phone clicks loudly)
(cell phone rings)
516
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:31,564
So you're begging
for mercy, huh?
517
00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:33,900
Well, you will find none here.
518
00:20:33,942 --> 00:20:35,110
Dwight, do you
mind if we talk?
519
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:37,362
Sure. That would be fine.
520
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:38,738
If you keep coming after us,
521
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,741
The Michael Scott Paper
Company cannot succeed.
522
00:20:41,783 --> 00:20:44,160
This is war and
that is what happens.
523
00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,204
Oh, one more thing.
524
00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:47,997
I'm going to have you listen
525
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,749
while I steal your
biggest client.
526
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,668
Oh no, no, no, no, no!
527
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,336
- Oh wow! Oh, I'm turning you-
- Michael! Michael!
528
00:20:53,378 --> 00:20:54,754
- Down right now.
- Michael!
529
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,756
You can hear me,
but I can't hear you.
530
00:20:56,798 --> 00:20:58,425
Mr. Schofield's ready to
see you now, Mr. Scott.
531
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,343
Great, Mr. Schofield's
ready to see me!
532
00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:01,553
Thank you so much.
533
00:21:01,594 --> 00:21:02,470
Don't let him
in, he's a traitor!
534
00:21:02,512 --> 00:21:04,347
- Open the door.
- Michael!
535
00:21:04,389 --> 00:21:05,682
Michael, good to see you.
536
00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:07,434
[Michael] Mr. Schofield's,
good to see you.
537
00:21:08,518 --> 00:21:11,104
And, I'm closing the door.
538
00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:13,606
(door shuts loudly)
539
00:21:13,648 --> 00:21:15,775
Now, when Dwight tells you
540
00:21:15,817 --> 00:21:18,695
that he will keep prices
steady for a year,
541
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:20,030
I think he is
speaking out of turn.
542
00:21:20,071 --> 00:21:21,531
[Mr. Schofield's] Really?
543
00:21:21,573 --> 00:21:24,367
Yes, he does not have
the authority to say that.
544
00:21:24,409 --> 00:21:26,536
I, on the other hand,
am the President,
545
00:21:26,578 --> 00:21:28,371
the owner, and the founder.
546
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:30,415
It is like you are buying
software from Bill Gates.
547
00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:32,792
Are you saying
you invented paper?
548
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:35,962
The Chinese did!
549
00:21:36,004 --> 00:21:37,922
Or the Egyptians, it's debated!
550
00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:48,391
(door closes)
551
00:21:48,433 --> 00:21:50,518
Excuse me. Can I have
your attention everyone?
552
00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:51,895
Front and center.
Eyes right here.
553
00:21:51,936 --> 00:21:54,731
You know that we
can't help but listen.
554
00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:55,565
Okay, thank you.
555
00:21:55,607 --> 00:21:56,775
Here's the deal, everybody.
556
00:21:56,816 --> 00:22:00,403
Jim Halpert is very
upset, and disturbed.
557
00:22:00,445 --> 00:22:01,613
I don't know if it
was something you did,
558
00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:03,406
something you said,
a look you gave him.
559
00:22:03,448 --> 00:22:05,950
Maybe it was nothing at
all, but here's the deal.
560
00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:07,452
Okay? It stops now.
561
00:22:07,494 --> 00:22:09,204
I guess I could be nicer.
562
00:22:09,245 --> 00:22:11,039
You heard this right from Jim?
563
00:22:11,081 --> 00:22:12,040
Confidential.
564
00:22:12,082 --> 00:22:13,249
And now you're telling us?
565
00:22:13,291 --> 00:22:16,086
I am scolding you,
making you stop.
566
00:22:16,127 --> 00:22:17,253
[Phyllis] Stop what exactly?
567
00:22:17,295 --> 00:22:18,421
Exactly.
568
00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,048
I barely know him.
569
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:22,550
You should get to know him
because he is delightful.
570
00:22:22,592 --> 00:22:24,803
If you can peel away the crazy.
571
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:25,679
What?
572
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:27,639
Yeah, Jim's a little crazy.
573
00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:30,141
He's kind of a
emotional basket case.
574
00:22:30,183 --> 00:22:33,353
You know what? Screw Jim.
575
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:36,189
Jim's sweet. This
scarf's for him.
576
00:22:36,231 --> 00:22:38,650
(scoffs) Well,
that's awfully nice,
577
00:22:38,692 --> 00:22:41,569
except that it's springtime
and you're not even finished.
578
00:22:41,611 --> 00:22:44,030
So, I'm sure Jim's gonna
love his summer scarf, moron.
579
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:45,407
Hey.
580
00:22:45,448 --> 00:22:48,284
Okay, I may have
been outta line
581
00:22:48,326 --> 00:22:50,453
but now you know
how Jim feels, so-
582
00:22:50,495 --> 00:22:52,247
Andy, I think Jim
is messing with you.
583
00:22:52,288 --> 00:22:53,081
Oh, really?
584
00:22:57,961 --> 00:22:58,962
- Okay.
- Yeah, okay.
585
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:00,755
What the heck is happenin' here?
586
00:23:00,797 --> 00:23:02,298
Two things I need
you to understand.
587
00:23:02,340 --> 00:23:04,801
One, Pam and I are
very happy together.
588
00:23:04,843 --> 00:23:05,802
It's not what was-
589
00:23:05,844 --> 00:23:07,387
- And two-
- Oh-
590
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:09,931
That stuff that happened with
you and Angela is a bummer.
591
00:23:09,973 --> 00:23:11,307
And I know that you
don't think you're ever
592
00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:13,018
gonna find someone
else, but you will.
593
00:23:13,059 --> 00:23:14,894
I promise you, you will.
594
00:23:19,858 --> 00:23:22,819
(groans loudly) Oh
man, he got me so good!
595
00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:24,779
(chuckles softly)
596
00:23:24,821 --> 00:23:25,947
(grunts loudly)
597
00:23:25,989 --> 00:23:28,324
I learned something
about myself today.
598
00:23:28,366 --> 00:23:29,993
Yeah.
599
00:23:30,035 --> 00:23:31,494
I wish this was a sofa,
600
00:23:31,536 --> 00:23:33,288
'cause I feel like I could
sit here and talk for hours.
601
00:23:33,329 --> 00:23:36,499
What is that thing
that Dwight always says?
602
00:23:36,541 --> 00:23:41,254
Paper is the soil in which
the seeds of business grow?
603
00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:42,464
It's not the soil!
604
00:23:42,505 --> 00:23:44,841
It's the manure!
Paper is the manure!
605
00:23:44,883 --> 00:23:49,554
On time delivery is the
soil! (grunts loudly)
606
00:23:52,223 --> 00:23:54,684
(Dwight groans angrily)
607
00:23:54,726 --> 00:23:56,019
(car door shuts loudly)
608
00:23:56,061 --> 00:23:59,064
(loud footsteps)
609
00:23:59,105 --> 00:24:00,023
Oh, hello, Dwight.
610
00:24:00,065 --> 00:24:00,899
Spin move!
611
00:24:02,067 --> 00:24:02,901
Ha ha!
612
00:24:04,152 --> 00:24:06,279
April 13th, 2002.
613
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:09,032
- Dwight, I'm in a meeting.
- [Michael] That's very rude.
614
00:24:09,074 --> 00:24:12,744
I barge because I
care. April 13th, 2002.
615
00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:15,747
That is the date when you
tried to switch paper providers
616
00:24:15,789 --> 00:24:17,874
for an obscure
sociology textbook.
617
00:24:17,916 --> 00:24:20,126
But were hung out to
dry when the price
618
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:21,961
of glossy stock increased.
619
00:24:22,003 --> 00:24:23,838
Maybe we should schedule
a meeting on another day-
620
00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,841
La, la, la. Continuing, notice
my persistence and recall.
621
00:24:26,883 --> 00:24:29,302
Continuing! You
called Dunder Mifflin,
622
00:24:29,344 --> 00:24:31,930
and your order was
filled within an hour!
623
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:35,266
I'm going to pull a date
out of the air right now.
624
00:24:35,308 --> 00:24:37,394
April 13th, 2002.
625
00:24:37,435 --> 00:24:41,398
That is the last day that you
evaluated your paper needs.
626
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:42,857
Is it not?
627
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:44,693
We all know that
the economy is bad.
628
00:24:44,734 --> 00:24:46,611
And bloated companies
like Dunder Mifflin
629
00:24:46,653 --> 00:24:48,029
- are going to fall-
- Come on.
630
00:24:48,071 --> 00:24:49,572
By the wayside.
631
00:24:49,614 --> 00:24:51,950
Two of their branches have
closed within the last year.
632
00:24:51,991 --> 00:24:54,285
The Michael Scott
Paper Company, however,
633
00:24:54,327 --> 00:24:55,995
has opened a new
branch this very month.
634
00:24:56,037 --> 00:24:58,873
What he's not telling you
is that he will abandon you.
635
00:25:00,291 --> 00:25:02,502
Why don't you guys just
email me your best offers
636
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:03,753
and we can finish
it up that way.
637
00:25:03,795 --> 00:25:06,256
That sounds like
a fantastic idea.
638
00:25:06,297 --> 00:25:07,465
I will see you this weekend
639
00:25:07,507 --> 00:25:09,217
for the Penguins,
box seats, as usual.
640
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:10,468
- Oh, okay. Sure.
- Good.
641
00:25:10,510 --> 00:25:11,428
- Good, good. I will see you.
- Thank you
642
00:25:11,469 --> 00:25:13,430
Mr. Schofield's, for your time.
643
00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:14,514
Much appreciated.
644
00:25:14,556 --> 00:25:15,640
Oh, and tell me,
645
00:25:17,142 --> 00:25:17,976
how's your gay son?
646
00:25:19,519 --> 00:25:20,478
Excuse me?
647
00:25:24,149 --> 00:25:25,608
I color code all my info.
648
00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:27,152
I wrote "gay son" in green.
649
00:25:27,193 --> 00:25:28,528
Green means go.
650
00:25:28,570 --> 00:25:31,031
So, I know to go ahead
and shut up about it.
651
00:25:31,072 --> 00:25:34,284
Orange means orange you
glad you didn't bring it up.
652
00:25:34,325 --> 00:25:35,785
Most colors mean don't say it.
653
00:25:36,703 --> 00:25:39,581
How is Tom? The homosexual sophomore.
654
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:40,957
(door shuts loudly)
655
00:25:40,999 --> 00:25:43,960
I wanted to start
a company, not a war.
656
00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:45,879
Because in a war,
657
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:49,382
you always fight those
you are closest to.
658
00:25:49,424 --> 00:25:52,052
And the great tragedy
of the Civil War
659
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:54,804
is that brother fought
against brother, for what?
660
00:25:54,846 --> 00:25:56,681
What purpose did that serve?
661
00:25:56,723 --> 00:25:59,017
Apart from abolishing slavery.
662
00:25:59,059 --> 00:26:01,978
In that case, war
was the right choice.
663
00:26:02,020 --> 00:26:04,022
This doesn't feel as
important, though.
664
00:26:05,523 --> 00:26:07,525
That's just how the
world works, I guess.
665
00:26:10,862 --> 00:26:12,947
Welcome to your one-stop shop
666
00:26:12,989 --> 00:26:15,367
for all discount party supplies.
667
00:26:15,408 --> 00:26:17,619
Any occasion, any
occasion at all.
668
00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:20,288
Erin, Kelly, Meredith,
how would you girls
669
00:26:20,330 --> 00:26:23,667
like a saucy night on the
town in matching gray dresses?
670
00:26:23,708 --> 00:26:26,920
Jazz it up, a little horse
drawn carriage action.
671
00:26:26,961 --> 00:26:29,047
- Oh, that sounds fun. How much?
- [Andy] $1600.
672
00:26:29,089 --> 00:26:30,799
Oh, what do you guys think?
673
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:32,217
I'll go in on it with you
and we can be best friends.
674
00:26:32,258 --> 00:26:33,301
[Erin] Great.
675
00:26:33,343 --> 00:26:34,052
Would you like to
make it official,
676
00:26:34,094 --> 00:26:34,969
with a church ceremony?
677
00:26:36,262 --> 00:26:37,430
Girl on girl.
678
00:26:39,683 --> 00:26:40,975
Any red tablecloths?
679
00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:42,686
It's a wedding. We
have white tablecloths.
680
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,437
Crap. I wanted
to make some pants.
681
00:26:44,479 --> 00:26:46,356
Oscar, rice.
682
00:26:46,398 --> 00:26:48,608
100 little baggies.
683
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:52,153
Perfect for a lovely
dish of arroz con arroz.
684
00:26:52,195 --> 00:26:53,405
Andy, you told me
685
00:26:53,446 --> 00:26:54,739
this was gonna be a
business related meeting.
686
00:26:54,781 --> 00:26:55,990
- You know-
- De nada.
687
00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:57,701
Stanley! You like flowers.
688
00:26:57,742 --> 00:27:00,036
How would you like
60 centerpieces?
689
00:27:00,078 --> 00:27:02,872
I wouldn't be interested
if they were free.
690
00:27:02,914 --> 00:27:04,582
Why are you here, Stanley?
691
00:27:04,624 --> 00:27:05,834
I'm here for the rice.
692
00:27:05,875 --> 00:27:08,670
Boom! Sold! 100 bags
of rice, Stanley Hudson.
693
00:27:08,712 --> 00:27:11,297
Creed, how would you
like a crispy new tuxedo
694
00:27:11,339 --> 00:27:12,424
for your funeral?
695
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:13,883
I'll take the bottom half.
696
00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:16,761
(Andy scoffs softly)
697
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,722
I wanna go out the same
way I came in, shirtless.
698
00:27:20,765 --> 00:27:25,854
(bright upbeat music)
49129
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