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1
00:00:09,175 --> 00:00:11,428
(phone ringing)
2
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,016
You gonna answer that, Kev?
3
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:18,977
Oh, right. Thanks.
4
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:24,107
Dunder Mifflin, this is Kevin.
5
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:26,026
Please hold while
I transfer you.
6
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:28,987
Oscar! Your mom!
7
00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:33,992
Charles is having Kevin
cover the phones for a while.
8
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,785
How do I say this
diplomatically?
9
00:00:36,828 --> 00:00:38,872
I think Kevin is
doing exactly as well
10
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:41,124
as anyone might've
expected someone like him
11
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,209
to perform in a
position like that.
12
00:00:45,712 --> 00:00:47,714
I'd give myself a B.
13
00:00:49,257 --> 00:00:50,675
Please hold.
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:52,385
Andy! Phone call!
15
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:54,179
No, stay there.
16
00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:57,182
Kev, I thought we nailed the
whole transfer thing earlier.
17
00:00:57,223 --> 00:01:00,143
Yeah, I wrote it on my
hand, but then I washed it.
18
00:01:00,185 --> 00:01:03,229
It is transfer, extension,
and then transfer again.
19
00:01:03,271 --> 00:01:05,023
Okay. Andy, get ready.
20
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:06,358
- Transfer.
- Here we go.
21
00:01:06,399 --> 00:01:07,442
[Kevin] Extension.
22
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:08,651
Transfer.
(phone rings)
23
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,527
Ah!
24
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,779
[Kevin] Oh, man!
25
00:01:10,820 --> 00:01:12,989
[Andy] It is 134, Kev.
26
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,199
- Kev, come on.
- Hustle!
27
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,034
You are murdering
the Nard-Dog!
28
00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:20,121
This is Kevin. Please hold
and I will transfer you.
29
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:21,206
(phone rings)
30
00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:22,415
[Angela] You're
bad at this too!
31
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:23,541
Don't answer that call!
32
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,794
Just transfer the damn call.
33
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:29,214
Your call is very
important to us. Please...
34
00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:30,423
(phone rings)
35
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:31,508
- Hey!
- Ho!
36
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:32,759
(office cheers)
37
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:34,219
Okay.
38
00:01:34,260 --> 00:01:35,762
Way to go.
39
00:01:35,804 --> 00:01:37,097
My maid died.
40
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:42,268
(bright upbeat music)
41
00:02:00,704 --> 00:02:02,288
Today is my first
day at my new job
42
00:02:02,330 --> 00:02:04,416
at Michael Scott
Paper Company, Inc.
43
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:08,795
You know, Apple Computer
started in a garage.
44
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,296
And we're starting in a condo,
45
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:12,507
so we already have
a leg up on Apple.
46
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:13,341
Look!
47
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:15,427
It's official!
48
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,140
{\an8}Oh, good. My hooker's here.
49
00:02:20,181 --> 00:02:21,141
{\an8}(laughing) I'm kidding! Hi.
50
00:02:22,726 --> 00:02:23,893
{\an8}Michael, you were
expecting me, right?
51
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,187
{\an8}Yes, I was. Yes, I was.
52
00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:27,897
{\an8}Are you wearing
anything under the robe?
53
00:02:27,939 --> 00:02:29,983
{\an8}That is inappropriate,
Pam. Come on in.
54
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:35,613
{\an8}This looks great, Michael.
55
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:36,573
Thank you.
56
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,325
{\an8}Would you like
some French toast?
57
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:40,577
Yes, please.
58
00:02:40,618 --> 00:02:41,369
What shape?
59
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,247
{\an8}- Square is fine.
- All right.
60
00:02:45,373 --> 00:02:47,334
{\an8}Just wanted to fill
you in on a few details.
61
00:02:47,375 --> 00:02:49,753
As you know, I will
be running the branch
62
00:02:49,794 --> 00:02:51,212
while we search for
Michael's replacement,
63
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,672
{\an8}so please feel
free to come to me
64
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:55,091
{\an8}if you have any
questions or concerns.
65
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:56,509
{\an8}Yeah.
66
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,053
{\an8}Where will you be staying
while you're in Scranton?
67
00:02:58,094 --> 00:03:00,638
- Staying? Uh, in a hotel.
- Oh.
68
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:02,140
{\an8}Charles, where were you born?
69
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:03,391
{\an8}Actually, I meant
questions more about
70
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,727
{\an8}the day-to-day operations
of the company.
71
00:03:05,769 --> 00:03:07,020
Okay? Yeah.
72
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:12,317
{\an8}How are operations of the
company, just day-to-day?
73
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,405
{\an8}Okay. Let's go over non
discretionary cuts, okay, guys?
74
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:24,871
Thank you.
75
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,791
- So, uh-
- Can you please stop that?
76
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:28,833
{\an8}What?
77
00:03:28,875 --> 00:03:31,044
{\an8}You're breathing very heavily.
78
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,420
{\an8}- This is how I breathe.
- No, it's not, and I know-
79
00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,381
{\an8}- If you have a problem with-
- Okay, Jim Halpert.
80
00:03:35,507 --> 00:03:36,591
I need your eyes up front.
81
00:03:36,633 --> 00:03:37,717
- Oh, no, I was just-
- No, hey, hey.
82
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,969
I just want to hear "yes."
83
00:03:43,556 --> 00:03:44,349
Yes.
84
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,685
Good.
85
00:03:46,726 --> 00:03:48,186
As I was saying...
86
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:52,482
{\an8}Oh, no! The new boss
does not find Jim adorable!
87
00:03:52,524 --> 00:03:53,566
{\an8}Oh!
88
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:04,035
{\an8}I felt ready for a change.
89
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,704
{\an8}After all these years
at Dunder Mifflin,
90
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,580
{\an8}I just wasn't
getting the same rush
91
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:10,792
that I used to get from
being a receptionist.
92
00:04:10,834 --> 00:04:11,668
This feels good.
93
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:14,546
This egg won't crack.
94
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:15,672
Oh. Okay.
95
00:04:20,510 --> 00:04:22,595
So, what do you
say we get started?
96
00:04:22,637 --> 00:04:23,555
After breakfast.
97
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,056
I'm full.
98
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,933
[Michael] So how you
feeling about the new company?
99
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,310
I feel good. Wow.
100
00:04:29,352 --> 00:04:31,104
You excited? About
the new company?
101
00:04:31,146 --> 00:04:33,481
Yeah, I'm excited
to start the company.
102
00:04:33,523 --> 00:04:34,482
After breakfast.
103
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:37,485
We did that.
104
00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:38,570
So what's next?
105
00:04:40,196 --> 00:04:42,615
Michael, just stop for a second.
106
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,367
- Michael, stop for a second.
- No, I'm whipping up...
107
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,744
- No, I know you are.
- Just let go.
108
00:04:45,785 --> 00:04:46,619
- Just let me have-
- Let go, please.
109
00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:47,370
- Just give me-
- Fine!
110
00:04:48,621 --> 00:04:50,415
Oh, I'm sorry.
111
00:04:50,457 --> 00:04:51,374
I'm sorry.
112
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,961
I can't do this.
113
00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:57,964
This is pathetic, isn't it?
114
00:04:59,507 --> 00:05:01,259
I am such an idiot.
115
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:04,304
I gave up the only job
I ever loved to do this?
116
00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,767
(Michael breathing heavily)
117
00:05:08,808 --> 00:05:10,393
I have egg in my Crocs.
118
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,273
I never see him drink.
I never see him eat.
119
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,109
I don't think he
even uses the bathroom.
120
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,778
Oh, he does.
121
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:21,071
He does.
122
00:05:21,112 --> 00:05:23,448
Charles is a mystery.
123
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,117
I wish there was a way I could
curl up by the fire with him
124
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,496
and flip right to his last page.
125
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:34,542
It's really not that much
of a mystery who Charles is.
126
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:36,711
I mean, anybody
could find out more
127
00:05:36,753 --> 00:05:41,633
if they just got up and
came back to my area
128
00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:43,009
and just talked to me.
129
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:47,055
Hey, Boss.
130
00:05:47,097 --> 00:05:49,057
Little Cafe Ole?
131
00:05:49,099 --> 00:05:50,058
No, tea.
132
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,394
Oh, really? You a tea guy?
133
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:53,812
Me too.
134
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:56,356
Love the stuff,
cannot get enough.
135
00:05:57,524 --> 00:05:59,567
So good.
136
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,861
It's good for your digestion
too. Did you know that?
137
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:05,240
It's got antioxidants
and spices and...
138
00:06:05,281 --> 00:06:05,990
I...
139
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,242
Was I the teacher's pet?
140
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,577
No.
141
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:13,081
The teacher's pet was a King
Charles Cavalier Spaniel, okay?
142
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:18,461
I was the student who walked
the teacher's pet, and fed it.
143
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,338
And bathed it.
144
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,550
Oolong.
145
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:24,676
Chamomile.
146
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,219
Earl Grey, good'un.
147
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:28,513
And what's your favorite?
148
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,723
Just plain tea.
149
00:06:29,764 --> 00:06:31,725
Plain tea. Simple
man, after my own heart.
150
00:06:31,766 --> 00:06:33,226
You and me, fit to a T.
151
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,105
(Andy gurgles)
152
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,069
I feel weak today.
153
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,488
I felt much stronger yesterday.
154
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,742
Like Benjamin Button in reverse.
155
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,161
You know, Michael,
when I feel overwhelmed-
156
00:06:51,202 --> 00:06:52,662
I'm not overwhelmed, Pam.
157
00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:53,872
I know.
158
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:56,332
No, I'm saying that
when I feel overwhelmed,
159
00:06:56,374 --> 00:07:00,003
something I like to
do is make a list.
160
00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:03,048
Make a list of things to do,
161
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:04,382
and then start with
the easy stuff.
162
00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,717
Whatever calms you down.
163
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,887
Okay, first, work out.
164
00:07:08,928 --> 00:07:10,472
And hey, look.
165
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,390
You did that.
(Michael grunts)
166
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,266
Check.
167
00:07:14,184 --> 00:07:15,852
Eat an enormous breakfast.
168
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,230
- Check.
- Don't patronize me, Pam.
169
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,231
I think you
should get dressed.
170
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:21,733
I'm not getting dressed.
171
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,234
I'm not getting dressed.
172
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,236
I have too many things to
do before I get dressed.
173
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,863
I need to find 100 clients.
174
00:07:26,905 --> 00:07:28,239
Michael, that
seems impossible.
175
00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:29,491
It's totally impossible.
176
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:33,286
We need to come up
with one realistic thing
177
00:07:33,328 --> 00:07:34,954
that we could do today.
178
00:07:34,996 --> 00:07:37,415
Assemble a sales
team. A dream team.
179
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,583
Great.
180
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:39,876
Okay, Ryan.
181
00:07:39,918 --> 00:07:41,419
No. What?
182
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,671
Why?
183
00:07:42,712 --> 00:07:44,798
He's everything I'm
not and everything I am.
184
00:07:44,839 --> 00:07:45,924
He's the whole package.
185
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,092
No, we're not gonna hire Ryan.
186
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:48,385
Um...
187
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:51,429
Oh, Vikram! Best
salesman I've ever met.
188
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,597
Okay.
189
00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:54,182
He worked at that
telemarketing place.
190
00:07:54,224 --> 00:07:55,600
- We'll find him.
- Okay.
191
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,852
Oh, also, we have a
meeting this afternoon
192
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,688
with a potential investor.
193
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:00,563
- Really?
- Yeah.
194
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:01,815
We have an investor already?
195
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:02,941
Maybe. Barbara Keavis.
196
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,442
She invests in local businesses
197
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:07,237
and I'm putting together a
little presentation for her.
198
00:08:07,278 --> 00:08:08,488
Michael, that's fantastic.
199
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:10,323
Yeah, I guess it's not so bad.
200
00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,450
Got a few things cookin'.
201
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,618
Um...
202
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:14,494
Hey!
203
00:08:14,536 --> 00:08:15,995
We need to get you dressed.
204
00:08:16,037 --> 00:08:17,831
I have doubts about this too,
205
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:19,457
but when one person freaks out,
206
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:22,711
sometimes it weirdly makes
the other one calmer.
207
00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,797
That's one thing I've
learned about relationships.
208
00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:29,134
I hate that I just used
the word "relationship."
209
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,635
Hey!
210
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:31,636
You look great!
211
00:08:33,430 --> 00:08:34,639
- Let's go!
- All right.
212
00:08:36,182 --> 00:08:37,726
Oh yeah, Jim, that looks good.
213
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,021
Oh.
214
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:42,480
Yeah.
215
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:44,733
Yeah, it's actually this
new place on Spruce Street.
216
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:45,942
- Oh yeah?
- Got great sandwiches.
217
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,318
- Great salads and stuff.
- Yeah?
218
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,611
- Yeah.
- I gotta check it out.
219
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:51,156
All right. It's
healthy too, so...
220
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:52,615
Good portions,
not too expensive.
221
00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:53,783
Yeah, I mean...
222
00:08:53,825 --> 00:08:54,951
You know, and
everything's fresh too,
223
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,745
so it's like a lotta
bang for your buck.
224
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,204
- Right.
- Which is...
225
00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:06,880
Can I have a bite?
226
00:09:08,757 --> 00:09:10,300
No.
227
00:09:10,342 --> 00:09:12,385
Why did that feel so good
that my boss liked my lunch?
228
00:09:14,054 --> 00:09:15,263
Next on the list:
229
00:09:16,181 --> 00:09:17,057
open the mail.
230
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,350
Oh!
231
00:09:18,391 --> 00:09:20,852
Wow. Michael Scott
Paper Company.
232
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:22,854
(laughs) Okay.
233
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:23,688
Very official.
234
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,484
"Dear Mr. Scott,
235
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:30,362
please be advised that
it is in violation
236
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,905
of your condominium agreement
237
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:35,241
to conduct a business
headquartered in your residence.
238
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,035
The penalty of forfeiture
of resident..."
239
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:39,079
No, okay, it's
fine. It's fine.
240
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:40,580
We're just gonna
add "find office."
241
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,874
How are we gonna
find an office?
242
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,042
How can we pay for an office?
243
00:09:44,084 --> 00:09:45,669
Next on the list:
song parodies.
244
00:09:45,710 --> 00:09:48,463
Okay! Okay,
"Achy Breaky Fart."
245
00:09:48,505 --> 00:09:49,506
Great, let's
sing it in the car.
246
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,383
No, no, no, no! "My Stumps."
247
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,301
Like "My Humps," but
a guy with no legs.
248
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:55,261
- Yeah.
- We can do this.
249
00:09:55,303 --> 00:09:56,304
We can do this.
250
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,977
Aw. (chuckles)
251
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,312
You a soccer fan?
252
00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:05,814
Oh! Oh, yeah.
253
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,482
I'm so embarrassed. You
weren't supposed to see this.
254
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:09,317
This is like my
secret obsession.
255
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:11,528
Yeah, well, that
makes two of us.
256
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:12,821
- No way!
- Yeah.
257
00:10:12,862 --> 00:10:13,780
I hate soccer.
258
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:16,825
But guess who
doesn't hate soccer.
259
00:10:16,866 --> 00:10:17,826
Charles Miner.
260
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:22,831
I took a little looky-loo,
snoopity-snoop in Charles' car,
261
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:26,001
and guess what kind
of little bauble
262
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:28,670
he has hanging from
his rear-view mirror.
263
00:10:32,424 --> 00:10:33,425
Guess.
264
00:10:37,178 --> 00:10:38,722
A soccer ball.
265
00:10:38,763 --> 00:10:41,975
I was actually in Germany
for the 2006 World Cup Finals.
266
00:10:42,017 --> 00:10:42,809
Ah!
267
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,478
You bastard.
268
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:46,688
That should've been me!
269
00:10:46,730 --> 00:10:48,314
Yeah, I love the
sport. I love the sport.
270
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:49,190
All right, man.
271
00:10:49,232 --> 00:10:49,941
- Cool!
- Yeah.
272
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,612
I've never been a kiss-up.
273
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,699
It's just not how I operate.
274
00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,785
I mean, I've always
subscribed to the idea
275
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:02,871
that if you really want
to impress your boss,
276
00:11:02,912 --> 00:11:06,583
you go in there and you do
mediocre work half-heartedly.
277
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:13,048
We got Vikram!
278
00:11:13,089 --> 00:11:13,923
You got me.
279
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,969
When you put your telemarketing
career on the line,
280
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,055
you're not putting
very much on the line.
281
00:11:21,097 --> 00:11:21,931
Where are we going?
282
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:24,351
We have a meeting
with an investor today.
283
00:11:24,392 --> 00:11:27,479
Yes, we do, so get excited.
284
00:11:28,605 --> 00:11:32,400
But I have to go to the
bathroom real quick.
285
00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,611
If you'll excuse me,
I'll be right back.
286
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,448
[Vikram] He seems
really confident.
287
00:11:38,490 --> 00:11:39,449
[Pam] He can be.
288
00:11:39,491 --> 00:11:40,450
Confidence.
289
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:44,079
It's the food of the wise man
but the liquor of the fool.
290
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,790
Hmm.
291
00:11:46,831 --> 00:11:49,084
I'm looking forward to getting
to know you better, Vikram.
292
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:51,044
Hey!
293
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,130
I would like a pair
of size 9, please.
294
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:58,593
- It's Michael!
- I'm swamped, Michael.
295
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:01,096
Happy birthday to
Sally in lane 27.
296
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:03,098
Okay, imagine a company
297
00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:05,558
that has no memory of
your past misconduct
298
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,560
because they have no files.
299
00:12:07,602 --> 00:12:10,188
("Happy Birthday to You")
300
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:12,399
Whoa! And he just goes...
301
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,525
- Boom!
- Yep, that's-
302
00:12:13,566 --> 00:12:14,943
- Goal!
- That's Pele.
303
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:16,528
- You know your soccer, man.
- I know. Yes, I do.
304
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,571
I prefer Maradona.
305
00:12:18,613 --> 00:12:20,365
Uh, Diego Maradona.
306
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,866
- Oh, yeah?
- Um, from Argentina.
307
00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:24,869
I didn't know we had so many
soccer fans in the office.
308
00:12:24,911 --> 00:12:26,204
I mean, to be fair,
I was the first one
309
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:28,581
- to talk about it, but-
- And what about you, Jim?
310
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,500
- You a fan of the game?
- Oh, no.
311
00:12:30,542 --> 00:12:31,793
Nope, not really.
312
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,420
Well, it's not for
everybody, I suppose.
313
00:12:33,461 --> 00:12:34,963
(Andy laughs)
314
00:12:35,005 --> 00:12:37,298
That's 'cause I'm
more of a player.
315
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:38,383
- Oh yeah?
- You bet.
316
00:12:38,425 --> 00:12:39,175
Really, Jim?
317
00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,972
I had no idea you played soccer.
318
00:12:44,014 --> 00:12:47,642
'Cause you never,
ever talk about it.
319
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,601
Well, I do.
320
00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:49,853
- Wow!
- I play.
321
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:51,021
You can be so
modest sometimes.
322
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,689
Well, maybe we should
get back to work.
323
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:54,315
Maybe you and Charles should
kick the soccer ball around.
324
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,817
Maybe we will someday.
325
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:56,693
Maybe you will tonight
after work. What do you say?
326
00:12:56,735 --> 00:12:58,862
That's a great idea, Dwight.
327
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:02,032
Great ideas are just part
of what I bring to the table.
328
00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:05,452
(laughs) I don't try and
be anything that I'm not.
329
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,703
In the animal kingdom,
330
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:08,455
this type of behavior
makes perfect sense.
331
00:13:08,496 --> 00:13:09,831
In the struggle for existence,
332
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:11,374
you determine who
is the alpha male
333
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:12,959
and seek to gain his favor,
334
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:15,628
thereby preserving your
safety and self-interest.
335
00:13:17,380 --> 00:13:19,841
But we're not just
animals, you know?
336
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:22,761
At some point you just have
to have some integrity.
337
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,972
What do you say, Jim,
huh? Wanna play some soccer?
338
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:27,474
- Hey, anybody else?
- Jim, what do you say?
339
00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,433
Sounds fun.
340
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,642
I'll play.
341
00:13:29,684 --> 00:13:31,603
Well, I've seen it on TV.
342
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,854
I figure, I'm Hispanic.
343
00:13:33,646 --> 00:13:35,065
How hard could it be?
344
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:36,858
Game on! Okay.
345
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:38,068
See you on the field, Jim-bro.
346
00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:39,652
- Let's see it.
- See you on the field.
347
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,404
[Charles] I can't wait!
348
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:43,239
Yep, I used to play
soccer in school.
349
00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:45,742
From second to fourth grade.
350
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:48,661
I was on the orange team.
351
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:49,996
He's taking a long time.
352
00:13:51,331 --> 00:13:52,707
Is it possible he's bowling?
353
00:13:52,749 --> 00:13:54,668
I mean, you know him
better than I do.
354
00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,712
Yes.
355
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:59,089
Yes, it's possible.
356
00:14:02,133 --> 00:14:03,510
Well, it has always
been a lifelong dream.
357
00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:04,344
Michael!
358
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,388
What's going on?
359
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:07,639
I'm...
360
00:14:07,681 --> 00:14:08,723
- Hey, Ryan.
- Hey, you.
361
00:14:08,765 --> 00:14:09,933
Excuse me. Yes?
362
00:14:09,974 --> 00:14:11,226
This wasn't on the list.
363
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,727
Yes, it is.
364
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:13,687
- No.
- Yes.
365
00:14:13,728 --> 00:14:15,605
- It's not.
- It is.
366
00:14:15,647 --> 00:14:16,898
When did you add
this to the list?
367
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,276
Pam, everyone deserves
a second second chance.
368
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,364
I want to shake Michael,
369
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:27,784
but I don't want to shatter
him into a thousand pieces.
370
00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:29,244
Ryan, just out of curiosity,
371
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,286
how much do you get paid here?
372
00:14:30,328 --> 00:14:32,205
$60,000 a year.
373
00:14:32,247 --> 00:14:34,457
You get paid by the
year at the bowling alley?
374
00:14:34,499 --> 00:14:35,709
What do you make, secretary?
375
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:38,044
[Manager] Back to
work, shoe bitch!
376
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:39,421
I told you guys, I'm
really busy here, so-
377
00:14:39,462 --> 00:14:40,839
Would you like to come to work
378
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,716
for the Michael
Scott Paper Company?
379
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,510
What size shoes are you guys?
380
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,137
- Uh, 9.
- What are those, a men's 10?
381
00:14:47,178 --> 00:14:48,388
[Pam] No.
382
00:14:48,430 --> 00:14:49,764
- Look what he's doing.
- What is he doing?
383
00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,683
He's stealing
them! Okay, okay.
384
00:14:51,725 --> 00:14:53,101
He's already paying for himself.
385
00:14:53,143 --> 00:14:53,935
Sorry!
386
00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,439
- Where is it?
- Right here!
387
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,648
Hey, come on, guys.
388
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,316
These are prime selling
hours, you know.
389
00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,450
- Miner-
- Oh, there he goes.
390
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,868
- Sees his partner.
- Yikes.
391
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:10,910
Halpert. He looks up!
392
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,537
- Oh, man!
- The famed duo!
393
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:13,788
- He sets him up!
- Right, right.
394
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:14,956
[Charles] Come
on. He sets him up!
395
00:15:14,998 --> 00:15:16,458
- All right.
- Yeah!
396
00:15:16,499 --> 00:15:18,168
- Oh-ho!
- Oh!
397
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:19,336
Goal!
398
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:20,628
Aw, man. I can't
wait to play with you.
399
00:15:20,670 --> 00:15:23,298
Oh, it's gonna be the worst.
400
00:15:23,340 --> 00:15:25,300
Do you guys wanna
hear about Thailand?
401
00:15:25,342 --> 00:15:26,343
- Oh, yeah.
- Sure.
402
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,347
It was indescribable.
403
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:33,224
- Sounds awesome.
- Neat.
404
00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:35,226
What sort of
investing club is this?
405
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,729
Vikram, you ask a lot of
questions, and I like that.
406
00:15:37,771 --> 00:15:39,230
Hey, Nana!
407
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,482
- Oh!
- Hi!
408
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,816
[Nana] Michael!
409
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:43,651
People turn to their
families all the time
410
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,320
when they need
help starting out,
411
00:15:45,362 --> 00:15:47,155
and if my nana's investment club
412
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:50,742
can help the Michael Scott
Paper Company become a reality,
413
00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:53,161
then I'm sure that's what
she would have wanted.
414
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:53,912
Does want.
415
00:15:55,038 --> 00:15:56,373
Well, I'm sure that
you must all have
416
00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,749
very, very busy schedules,
417
00:15:57,791 --> 00:16:01,544
so I appreciate you
meeting with us here today.
418
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,713
What this is is a business
419
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:06,216
that I have worked
toward my entire life.
420
00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:07,842
Hey! (snaps fingers)
421
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:11,471
I have assembled what I believe
to be the most exciting,
422
00:16:11,513 --> 00:16:14,140
sought-after talent
in the industry today.
423
00:16:14,182 --> 00:16:17,185
Ladies and gentlemen, I
present to you the Dream Team.
424
00:16:17,227 --> 00:16:21,773
From our very own Scranton,
Pennsylvania, Pam Beesly.
425
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:25,151
Pretty Pam is always
reaching for the stars,
426
00:16:25,193 --> 00:16:29,531
and someday she may just
surprise us all and grab one.
427
00:16:29,572 --> 00:16:30,490
Meet Vikram.
428
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,494
From his humble
beginnings as a...
429
00:16:34,536 --> 00:16:36,037
Stay standing.
430
00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:39,207
From his humble beginnings
as a prominent surgeon,
431
00:16:39,249 --> 00:16:43,461
he risked it all to become the
most successful telemarketer
432
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,879
in the Lipophedrine industry.
433
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:49,050
And do not call it a comeback.
434
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,052
The youngest vice president
435
00:16:51,094 --> 00:16:52,762
in the history of Dunder Mifflin
436
00:16:52,804 --> 00:16:56,516
and recent bowling alley
employee, Ryan Howard,
437
00:16:56,558 --> 00:17:00,020
is about to make
a splash in paper.
438
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,980
What guarantee can you give us
439
00:17:02,022 --> 00:17:04,065
for a return on our investment?
440
00:17:04,107 --> 00:17:06,109
You have the Michael
Scott Guarantee.
441
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,319
That doesn't mean anything.
442
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,321
Well, Herman, you've
been retired for 70 years,
443
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,407
so you're not sort of living
in this world right now.
444
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:15,535
You kind of have no
idea what's going on.
445
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,494
Here's the thing.
446
00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:19,080
This is a deal that is so good
447
00:17:19,122 --> 00:17:21,041
that if it were offered to me,
448
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,834
I would think it's a scam.
449
00:17:22,876 --> 00:17:24,127
But it's not.
450
00:17:25,628 --> 00:17:29,591
Nana, do you remember that
whenever I used to lose a tooth,
451
00:17:29,632 --> 00:17:30,592
you would give me money?
452
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:31,843
Yes.
453
00:17:31,885 --> 00:17:33,970
I knew it. It was you.
454
00:17:34,012 --> 00:17:37,265
Well, I am not putting my
tooth under the pillow today.
455
00:17:37,307 --> 00:17:40,018
I am putting my entire
career under the pillow.
456
00:17:40,060 --> 00:17:41,186
How much is that worth?
457
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,355
Is that worth a quarter? More?
458
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:44,606
So let's hear it.
459
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:48,109
Okay, I have spent
the last 15 years
460
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,945
learning the ins and outs
of the paper industry.
461
00:17:50,987 --> 00:17:54,657
With a lean, mean fightin'
crew and low overhead,
462
00:17:54,699 --> 00:17:57,118
I think I can perform
the same business
463
00:17:57,160 --> 00:17:59,245
at a much, much
higher rate of profit.
464
00:17:59,287 --> 00:18:02,832
How do you expect to turn
a profit in this economy?
465
00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:05,669
By wanting it more,
by working hard-
466
00:18:05,710 --> 00:18:07,212
What's your mission statement?
467
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,172
Mm, my mission
468
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,384
is stated as follows.
469
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,344
I will not be beat.
470
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,513
I will never give up.
471
00:18:16,554 --> 00:18:18,056
I am on a mission.
472
00:18:18,098 --> 00:18:19,933
That is the Michael
Scott Guarantee.
473
00:18:21,142 --> 00:18:22,268
[Dwight] When I was a child,
474
00:18:22,310 --> 00:18:23,812
I always dreamed
of being a referee.
475
00:18:23,853 --> 00:18:26,815
Penalizing people.
Enforcing the rules.
476
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,192
But I never could
have dreamed of this.
477
00:18:32,612 --> 00:18:34,906
Come on, Oscar. What
positions do people play?
478
00:18:34,948 --> 00:18:35,824
Wing.
479
00:18:35,865 --> 00:18:36,825
- Good.
- Leg.
480
00:18:36,866 --> 00:18:38,952
Jim, what do you play?
481
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:41,246
- Left.
- Forward or half?
482
00:18:41,287 --> 00:18:42,205
- Forward, definitely.
- Okay.
483
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,415
- Striker, huh?
- Striker!
484
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,541
Let's see what you
got in those legs.
485
00:18:44,582 --> 00:18:45,500
All right, let's do it.
486
00:18:45,542 --> 00:18:46,626
All right.
487
00:18:46,668 --> 00:18:48,336
(whistle tweets)
488
00:18:48,378 --> 00:18:49,462
No, no, no. We're...
489
00:18:49,504 --> 00:18:50,505
No, this is supposed
to be the kickoff.
490
00:18:50,547 --> 00:18:51,423
Kickoff.
491
00:18:51,464 --> 00:18:53,008
(Kevin roaring)
492
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,051
My strategy is to touch the
ball as little as possible,
493
00:18:55,093 --> 00:18:56,344
chalk it up to teamwork.
494
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,097
All right!
495
00:18:59,139 --> 00:19:02,726
And I offer same-day
free delivery.
496
00:19:02,767 --> 00:19:04,185
That is the Michael
Scott Guarantee.
497
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:06,813
Hey! Can I get another
one of these puddings?
498
00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:08,106
Thanks.
499
00:19:08,148 --> 00:19:09,691
Michael, I don't
know about this.
500
00:19:09,733 --> 00:19:13,361
Nana, I really think that
Papa would want you to do this.
501
00:19:14,696 --> 00:19:15,864
I'm not so sure.
502
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:17,615
Well, what is it
exactly? I mean, what...
503
00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,742
What specifically? We don't...
504
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:19,909
It doesn't have to be paper.
505
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,704
We could sell
medicine and other-
506
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,206
See, this is what concerns me.
507
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:27,125
You don't follow through.
508
00:19:27,167 --> 00:19:30,003
You jump from one
thing to the next.
509
00:19:30,045 --> 00:19:31,296
That's not...
510
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,423
[Nana] Do you remember
when you were little,
511
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:36,217
you were gonna make
your own yarn, huh?
512
00:19:36,259 --> 00:19:38,219
- Mm-hmm.
- Like a pioneer?
513
00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:43,224
So I went out and I bought
two big bags of wool.
514
00:19:43,892 --> 00:19:45,060
And they just sat there.
515
00:19:45,101 --> 00:19:47,103
We could just
give him a chance.
516
00:19:47,145 --> 00:19:48,563
It's not much money.
517
00:19:48,605 --> 00:19:50,607
Well, this might
not be the right time,
518
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:52,609
but I need more than I
originally asked for.
519
00:19:52,650 --> 00:19:56,571
This isn't a handout club,
it's an investment club.
520
00:19:56,613 --> 00:19:57,822
Okay.
521
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,783
[Nana] I love
you, Michael. I do.
522
00:19:59,824 --> 00:20:00,658
Okay.
523
00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,951
But no.
524
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:03,286
I mean it. No.
525
00:20:09,459 --> 00:20:11,628
I thought Nana raised
some good questions.
526
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,590
What kind of a name is Nana?
527
00:20:15,632 --> 00:20:16,675
It means grandmother.
528
00:20:17,759 --> 00:20:19,594
Aw, sweet Jesus.
529
00:20:21,262 --> 00:20:22,847
Look, I'm sorry to do this,
530
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,517
but can you drop me back at
the telemarketing building?
531
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:28,144
You know, Michael, you
want to succeed, huh,
532
00:20:28,186 --> 00:20:29,562
you've got to apply the same...
533
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:32,065
(door slams)
534
00:20:35,276 --> 00:20:36,111
- Jim!
- We suck so bad.
535
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,362
[Jim] Andy!
536
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,030
- Come on, Kevin, get him!
- Here!
537
00:20:39,072 --> 00:20:40,657
Oh, offsides! Offsides!
538
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:41,700
- (whistle tweets)
- What?
539
00:20:41,741 --> 00:20:42,909
Big Tuna's offsides.
540
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:44,744
What? Well, I
didn't see the play.
541
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:46,871
What would make you
think that I was offsides?
542
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:48,873
Uh, I don't know. I just...
543
00:20:48,915 --> 00:20:50,208
I know it when I
see it, you know?
544
00:20:50,250 --> 00:20:51,626
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
545
00:20:51,668 --> 00:20:53,586
I'd like to hear, what
do you think offsides is?
546
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:58,258
You know what, I think
I was probably a little...
547
00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,300
Maybe a little offsides.
548
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,301
I mean, I didn't see the play.
549
00:21:00,343 --> 00:21:01,636
Well, that's my fault.
550
00:21:01,678 --> 00:21:03,054
(whistle tweets)
I should know better.
551
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,681
- Come on!
- Now we get a free kick.
552
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:07,100
Hey, I know you're trying
to get everybody involved,
553
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:08,018
but let me see
what what you got.
554
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:08,893
- Come on!
- Okay!
555
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:10,687
Hey! Over here!
556
00:21:10,729 --> 00:21:11,563
- I got it!
- Come on!
557
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:12,397
Whoo!
558
00:21:13,314 --> 00:21:15,275
- God, Creed!
- Come on!
559
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,361
Do you get TNT?
560
00:21:18,403 --> 00:21:19,571
The station. Do you get TNT?
561
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:21,114
Yeah.
562
00:21:21,156 --> 00:21:23,116
I have cable and
satellite as a backup.
563
00:21:28,413 --> 00:21:31,166
Yeah, I know. Two
not-so-great things in a row.
564
00:21:32,542 --> 00:21:35,086
Eh, oh well. Stuff
happens, right?
565
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,755
At least we got Ryan.
566
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:37,630
The Ry-Guy.
567
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:40,342
We should call him Ry Bread.
568
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,593
We don't have to call him that.
569
00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,762
Unless you like it, we
could call him that.
570
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,305
I can't do this.
571
00:21:45,347 --> 00:21:46,306
[Michael] What's that?
572
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:49,893
I can't do this.
I had a real job.
573
00:21:51,186 --> 00:21:53,438
I sat 10 feet away
from my fiance.
574
00:21:54,731 --> 00:21:56,775
I had health benefits.
575
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:58,318
I was just feeling impulsive!
576
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,904
I should've gotten a
tiny tattoo on my ankle.
577
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:01,946
Yecch.
578
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,365
I just keep getting bored.
579
00:22:03,406 --> 00:22:05,617
And I let things
build up and build up
580
00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:08,703
and then I do something
too big, like this.
581
00:22:08,745 --> 00:22:10,288
- Who does this?
- Well, you know what?
582
00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:13,416
My mom always used to
say that average people
583
00:22:13,458 --> 00:22:16,127
are the most special
people in the world,
584
00:22:16,169 --> 00:22:17,003
and that's why God
made so many of-
585
00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:18,672
We don't have any money.
586
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:20,465
We don't have an office.
We don't have anything.
587
00:22:20,507 --> 00:22:22,008
Well, we should make a list.
588
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,259
Lists are good. Lists are good.
589
00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:24,260
Lists are good.
590
00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:29,265
First on the list, let's get
you out of the car. All right?
591
00:22:30,141 --> 00:22:31,309
Okay.
592
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:32,936
How come out of
everyone in the office,
593
00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,313
I'm the only one
who went with you?
594
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:36,856
Is it because I'm that stupid?
595
00:22:36,898 --> 00:22:39,693
I mean, your own grandmother
doesn't even believe in you.
596
00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,616
I want you to listen to me.
597
00:22:48,493 --> 00:22:49,953
Because I want to tell you
598
00:22:51,830 --> 00:22:54,958
the situation that we are
both in right now, okay?
599
00:22:56,835 --> 00:22:59,629
You quit your job, I quit
my job. We both quit.
600
00:23:00,839 --> 00:23:03,341
Those are the facts.
That's what happened.
601
00:23:03,383 --> 00:23:05,552
Now, what are our
choices right now?
602
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,554
Because you know
what, kiddo, you quit.
603
00:23:09,305 --> 00:23:10,390
Yeah.
604
00:23:10,432 --> 00:23:11,933
So what are our options? Well.
605
00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:15,937
We can start this paper
company. We can try.
606
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:17,897
Or...
607
00:23:19,441 --> 00:23:21,443
That's it. That's our only
option, because we quit.
608
00:23:22,861 --> 00:23:27,407
Pam, I do my best work when
people don't believe in me.
609
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:29,784
I remember in high school,
610
00:23:29,826 --> 00:23:32,328
my math teacher told me
I was gonna flunk out.
611
00:23:32,370 --> 00:23:34,039
And know what I did?
612
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,958
The very next day, I went
out and I scored more goals
613
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,461
than anyone in the history
of the hockey team.
614
00:23:40,545 --> 00:23:41,921
See what I mean?
I thrive on this.
615
00:23:41,963 --> 00:23:44,049
I thrive on it.
616
00:23:44,090 --> 00:23:45,550
So I'm gonna go inside,
617
00:23:45,592 --> 00:23:47,552
I'm going to make some calls,
618
00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:49,054
I'm going to get
us an office space,
619
00:23:49,095 --> 00:23:51,765
and I'm going to show you
why you joined this company.
620
00:23:51,806 --> 00:23:52,599
All right?
621
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:07,072
- Come on, Charles!
- Get him, Jim!
622
00:24:07,113 --> 00:24:08,073
[Oscar] Come on, Charles!
623
00:24:08,114 --> 00:24:09,449
[Andy] Come on, tough D, Jim!
624
00:24:10,700 --> 00:24:11,951
- Ah!
- Oh my god! Oh my god.
625
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:13,912
- Oh, wow!
- Jim, what the...
626
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:15,163
[Oscar] Phyllis, Phyllis.
627
00:24:15,205 --> 00:24:16,456
Phyllis, are you
okay? Are you okay?
628
00:24:16,498 --> 00:24:18,458
No. I swallowed a crown.
629
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,168
Why'd you duck, Jim?
630
00:24:20,210 --> 00:24:21,586
Yeah, Jim.
631
00:24:21,628 --> 00:24:23,546
Why would an experienced
soccer player like yourself
632
00:24:23,588 --> 00:24:25,090
duck at the very last moment?
633
00:24:25,131 --> 00:24:26,299
Okay, I'm just
gonna go get some ice.
634
00:24:26,341 --> 00:24:27,967
Does that make you
feel better? Huh?
635
00:24:29,135 --> 00:24:30,595
(stammers) I'm sorry, Phyllis.
636
00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:31,846
[Charles] Oh
yeah, Jim's sorry.
637
00:24:31,888 --> 00:24:36,476
Soccer is the reason
why I play basketball.
638
00:24:37,602 --> 00:24:39,104
You gotta have
some extra space.
639
00:24:39,145 --> 00:24:40,438
Billy, work with me here.
640
00:24:40,480 --> 00:24:43,149
There's got to be some
sort of secret office
641
00:24:43,191 --> 00:24:46,111
that you have lurkin' around.
642
00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:48,613
Something awesome and free.
643
00:24:48,655 --> 00:24:50,323
You keep it off the books.
644
00:24:51,449 --> 00:24:53,410
Oh. No, not there.
645
00:24:54,285 --> 00:24:55,537
That would be humiliating.
646
00:24:56,413 --> 00:24:58,373
I did what I had to do.
647
00:24:58,415 --> 00:25:00,125
I stepped in, I took charge.
648
00:25:00,166 --> 00:25:02,585
That's what being a man is.
649
00:25:02,627 --> 00:25:05,422
And earlier today,
I was freaking out.
650
00:25:05,463 --> 00:25:06,840
Pam stepped up.
651
00:25:06,881 --> 00:25:07,841
She was the man.
652
00:25:09,259 --> 00:25:11,052
Don't think a
woman can be a man?
653
00:25:11,094 --> 00:25:13,888
Well, then that's your
stereotype, not mine.
654
00:25:15,724 --> 00:25:16,516
Okay.
655
00:25:18,935 --> 00:25:20,895
I mean, it's the
size of a prison cell.
656
00:25:20,937 --> 00:25:22,105
Nah, it's way bigger.
657
00:25:27,152 --> 00:25:28,028
I could work here.
658
00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:30,780
I could see this.
659
00:25:30,822 --> 00:25:33,324
It's right in the
middle of the paper belt.
660
00:25:33,366 --> 00:25:34,534
Are you good?
661
00:25:34,576 --> 00:25:36,536
Yeah, I'm good. You good?
662
00:25:37,328 --> 00:25:38,079
I'm good.
663
00:25:48,214 --> 00:25:49,215
Good game?
664
00:25:49,257 --> 00:25:51,009
It was a disaster, actually.
665
00:25:51,051 --> 00:25:53,303
It was incredible.
666
00:25:53,345 --> 00:25:55,597
Hmm. Who to believe?
667
00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:57,349
What are you guys doing here?
668
00:25:57,390 --> 00:25:59,601
We got an office
space downstairs.
669
00:26:01,102 --> 00:26:03,188
That is not a surprise.
670
00:26:03,229 --> 00:26:04,397
And that also sounds great.
671
00:26:04,439 --> 00:26:07,901
It is great. I'll
explain why later.
672
00:26:07,942 --> 00:26:09,194
How are you?
673
00:26:09,235 --> 00:26:10,695
I'm weird without you here.
674
00:26:10,737 --> 00:26:11,946
I didn't know
you played soccer.
675
00:26:11,988 --> 00:26:13,156
What? Wait, what?
676
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,660
You didn't know Jim played
soccer? You, his fiance?
677
00:26:17,702 --> 00:26:19,788
Well, then you probably
also didn't know
678
00:26:19,829 --> 00:26:22,415
that he doesn't play soccer.
679
00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:25,585
Ow.
680
00:26:27,420 --> 00:26:29,381
I love you. I'm
going back to work.
681
00:26:29,422 --> 00:26:30,507
Please take me with you.
682
00:26:30,548 --> 00:26:31,716
You had your chance.
683
00:26:33,677 --> 00:26:34,761
[Dwight] Heads up!
684
00:26:39,265 --> 00:26:40,600
You know what they say.
685
00:26:41,976 --> 00:26:43,728
Keep your friends close.
686
00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:50,443
Michael.
687
00:26:51,361 --> 00:26:52,404
You're back.
688
00:26:52,445 --> 00:26:54,072
- Yes, I am, Charles.
- Mm-hmm.
689
00:26:54,114 --> 00:26:56,866
Except this time you have
no legal right to kick me out,
690
00:26:56,908 --> 00:26:59,244
because I have started
my very own paper company
691
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:01,871
right here in the building.
692
00:27:01,913 --> 00:27:04,874
If I were you, Charles Miner,
I would watch your step,
693
00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:07,043
because the Michael
Scott Paper Company
694
00:27:07,085 --> 00:27:09,671
is about to open a big
ol' can of whoop-ass
695
00:27:09,713 --> 00:27:10,797
on Dunder Mifflin.
696
00:27:14,175 --> 00:27:15,343
Actually, a six-pack.
697
00:27:15,385 --> 00:27:17,220
We're gonna open a
six-pack of whoop-ass.
698
00:27:30,108 --> 00:27:32,652
(phone rings)
699
00:27:33,570 --> 00:27:35,113
Dunder Mifflin, this is Kevin.
700
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,033
Please hold while
I transfer you.
701
00:27:39,617 --> 00:27:41,703
(phone rings)
702
00:27:41,745 --> 00:27:43,288
Dwight Schrute.
703
00:27:43,329 --> 00:27:44,581
Yes, thanks for calling me back.
704
00:27:44,622 --> 00:27:46,041
Hey, Kevin.
705
00:27:46,082 --> 00:27:48,209
I need you to set up a
conference call with Wallace,
706
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:50,337
all the other branch
managers in 10 minutes.
707
00:27:50,378 --> 00:27:51,838
Okay.
708
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:52,797
[Charles] Patch 'em through
to the conference room.
709
00:27:52,839 --> 00:27:54,257
- You got it, Boss.
- Great.
710
00:27:57,260 --> 00:27:59,888
(phone ringing)
711
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,481
(door opens)
712
00:28:09,522 --> 00:28:12,400
(door shuts)
713
00:28:12,442 --> 00:28:15,779
(phone ringing)
714
00:28:15,820 --> 00:28:18,948
(bright upbeat music)
49517
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