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1
00:00:09,467 --> 00:00:10,885
[Pam] Well, I should go.
2
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,887
All right. I'll tell
everybody here that you say hi.
3
00:00:12,929 --> 00:00:15,181
[Pam] No, don't,
I'm mad at them.
4
00:00:15,223 --> 00:00:16,057
Why, what happened?
5
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,225
[Pam] Not one of them called
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,060
to congratulate me
on our engagement.
7
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,313
Ah. That, they might
be off the hook for,
8
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,482
because I didn't tell them.
9
00:00:24,524 --> 00:00:25,734
[Pam] What? Why not?
10
00:00:25,775 --> 00:00:27,068
(chuckles)
11
00:00:27,110 --> 00:00:29,821
I just didn't, you
know, want to deal.
12
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,740
[Pam] Come on. It
won't be that bad.
13
00:00:31,781 --> 00:00:34,325
Okay. You know what?
14
00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,201
Here we go.
15
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,497
Everybody, I just wanted
to make an announcement.
16
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,458
Pam and I are engaged.
17
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:42,334
[Pam] Hi everyone!
18
00:00:43,626 --> 00:00:44,669
I thought you were
already engaged.
19
00:00:44,711 --> 00:00:46,087
Nope.
20
00:00:46,129 --> 00:00:47,839
That was Roy. She
was engaged to Roy.
21
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,174
Thank you, Angela.
22
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:51,509
Just try and get it
done inside three years.
23
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:52,552
Thank you, Stanley.
24
00:00:52,594 --> 00:00:54,763
I got a gift for Pam and Roy.
25
00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,598
Do I have to get another one?
26
00:00:56,639 --> 00:00:57,974
Yes.
27
00:00:58,016 --> 00:00:59,225
A little close to my
engagement there, Tuna.
28
00:00:59,267 --> 00:01:00,352
What's your game here?
29
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,853
To get married.
30
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,605
She's not a virgin, you know?
31
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:04,856
[Pam] Wow.
32
00:01:04,898 --> 00:01:05,815
What's everybody
talking about?
33
00:01:05,857 --> 00:01:07,734
The tall guy got engaged.
34
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:08,651
What?
35
00:01:08,693 --> 00:01:09,486
Yeah.
36
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,528
What?
37
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:11,613
(screams)
38
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:12,489
(body thuds)
39
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,698
What's going on?
40
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:14,699
[Pam] No, nothing.
Nothing Michael.
41
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:15,909
Just saying hi.
42
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:18,787
Jim and Pam are engaged!
43
00:01:18,828 --> 00:01:19,704
To be married?
44
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:20,747
Yep.
45
00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,375
(body thuds)
46
00:01:23,416 --> 00:01:24,542
(another body thuds)
47
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:25,377
[Pam] Sorry.
48
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:29,464
(bright upbeat music)
49
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:52,112
Pencils down. Just
kidding, take your time.
50
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:53,571
But you should probably be
51
00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:54,948
finishing up those questionnaires.
52
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:57,575
{\an8}Stop it.
53
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,618
{\an8}(clears throat)
54
00:01:58,660 --> 00:01:59,577
{\an8}What'd you get for number 70?
55
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:00,620
{\an8}It's an ethics questionnaire.
56
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,871
I know, but I didn't study.
57
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:04,416
- Holly, Jim is
- Dwight's cheating.
58
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:05,125
Oh, okay.
59
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,044
Today is ethics day.
60
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,379
{\an8}After they finish their quiz,
61
00:02:09,421 --> 00:02:11,297
{\an8}I'm gonna run my first
ethics meeting here.
62
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,383
{\an8}It's gonna be insane.
63
00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,512
{\an8}No, it's not. I have to
read from the binder.
64
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,266
{\an8}Michael has been working
on his introduction for days.
65
00:02:21,307 --> 00:02:23,893
{\an8}In dress rehearsal
yesterday, it was
66
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,479
{\an8}♪ Hooray for Holly Flax ♪
67
00:02:26,521 --> 00:02:28,940
{\an8}uh but it got changed
at the last minute,
68
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:31,151
{\an8}which is the excitement
of live theater.
69
00:02:33,028 --> 00:02:33,987
What's going on?
70
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,780
Class is canceled.
71
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,490
{\an8}Tiki bar or Manhattan
douchebag lounge.
72
00:02:37,532 --> 00:02:38,450
- Douchebag.
- Tiki ba
73
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:39,951
We never do Tiki bar.
74
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:41,453
[Girl] Yeah. I
think Tiki's calling.
75
00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,454
Yeah.
(bell ringing)
76
00:02:42,495 --> 00:02:43,371
{\an8}Where do you have to be?
77
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,247
{\an8}You have class right now.
78
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:45,623
I'm an adult.
79
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,125
- Oh.
- Yeah.
80
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,960
{\an8}You are way older than us.
I wasn't gonna say, but
81
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,378
You could be my
mom. Do you know her?
82
00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:52,756
{\an8}Are you guys best friends
from being the same age?
83
00:02:52,797 --> 00:02:54,424
Okay, fine. I'm in.
84
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:56,926
{\an8}[Girl] But are you
best friends with them?
85
00:02:56,968 --> 00:02:58,928
{\an8}We shop occasionally.
86
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:02,182
{\an8}(indistinct chatting)
87
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:04,601
I got it. I got it.
88
00:03:04,642 --> 00:03:08,688
♪ I took you to an
intimate restaurant, ♪
89
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,857
{\an8}♪ Then to a suggestive movie ♪
90
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:15,987
{\an8}♪ There's nothin'
left to talk about ♪
91
00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,073
{\an8}♪ Unless it's horizontally ♪
92
00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,659
{\an8}♪ Let's get ethical ♪
93
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:22,827
{\an8}♪ Ethical ♪
94
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:25,830
{\an8}♪ I wanna get ethical ♪
95
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,874
{\an8}♪ Let's get into ethics. Yeah. ♪
96
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:30,543
♪ Let me hear the
Dund Mifflin talk. ♪
97
00:03:30,585 --> 00:03:31,711
{\an8}♪ Your body talk. ♪
98
00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,005
{\an8}♪ Let me hear your body talk. ♪
99
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,715
Woo. All right.
100
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:39,844
Wow. This is huge for Holly
because having an entertaining
101
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,306
meeting is the way of
becoming well liked.
102
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:46,518
I recommended a song
parody, classic.
103
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,270
Funny. People love them.
104
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,439
Um, why are you helping her?
105
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:52,816
You're not even dating.
106
00:03:52,857 --> 00:03:54,025
She's my friend.
107
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:57,696
And ultimately my
strategy is to sort
108
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,700
of merge this into
a relationship
109
00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:02,659
without her even knowing.
110
00:04:02,701 --> 00:04:03,535
(sigh)
111
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:04,911
No.
112
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,289
Okay, let's give it up
for Miss Holly Flax.
113
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,375
(light clapping)
114
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,209
Thanks Michael.
115
00:04:12,502 --> 00:04:14,546
Today we're gonna have a
business ethics seminar
116
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:17,173
because recently, without
mentioning any names,
117
00:04:17,215 --> 00:04:19,801
there's been some
misconduct at corporate,
118
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,220
and we have a very
strict ethics policy
119
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,097
and that employee
has been fired.
120
00:04:24,139 --> 00:04:27,058
Oh, come on. He's right there.
121
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,601
He was hired.
122
00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:29,519
Ooh, check it out.
123
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,271
Hired guy.
124
00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:33,606
Okay, elephant in the room.
125
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,025
Let's talk about it.
126
00:04:35,066 --> 00:04:36,943
Do I regret what I did?
127
00:04:38,319 --> 00:04:40,321
Of course I do. Even though
it was an amazing ride.
128
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:41,906
And I'll give you an example.
129
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,117
Anyone see Survivor Season six?
130
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,077
Anyone know Joanna on that show?
131
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:48,079
In New York city, I
hooked up with a girl,
132
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,457
who looked exactly like that.
133
00:04:50,498 --> 00:04:53,168
Indistinguishable, so.
134
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:55,170
Okay, well done.
135
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,046
Good speech, Ryan.
136
00:04:56,087 --> 00:04:57,339
You're a good guy.
137
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:59,174
Let's start discussing
those questionnaires
138
00:04:59,215 --> 00:05:01,092
that you filled in this morning.
139
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,095
It is wrong to make personal
calls during work hours.
140
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,973
Now, some of you marked that
you very strongly agree,
141
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,434
but ideally you would've
selected, totally agree.
142
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:12,395
Dammit, I had that,
but I changed it.
143
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,981
That's okay. There are
no right or wrong answers.
144
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:17,817
You just said he
gave the wrong answer.
145
00:05:17,859 --> 00:05:20,403
True. But don't
think of it like that.
146
00:05:20,445 --> 00:05:22,906
I thought very
strongly agree sounded
147
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:25,158
stronger than totally agree.
148
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,660
Corporate would like to
emphasize that, ideally,
149
00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:30,121
you would all totally
agree with that statement.
150
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,248
Well, I think we
can all totally agree
151
00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:35,627
that Holly is totally fantastic.
152
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:36,670
Thank you. Okay.
153
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:39,172
Okay.
154
00:05:39,214 --> 00:05:40,965
In fact, spending a half
hour at the water cooler,
155
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,385
during work hours, is
a form of stealing.
156
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,260
What?
157
00:05:44,302 --> 00:05:45,679
Yes, it's called time theft
158
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,139
and it's the same as taking
money from the company.
159
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,475
Does corporate have
to do this seminar?
160
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:52,185
Because last time
Wallace was here,
161
00:05:52,227 --> 00:05:54,646
he talked to Jim for like
45 minutes about the Mets.
162
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,565
Thank you.
163
00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:59,567
Can anyone think of examples
of things that are over
164
00:05:59,609 --> 00:06:01,111
the line, time wasters.
165
00:06:01,152 --> 00:06:02,320
This meeting?
166
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:04,698
- Hay ooh.
- Can't set 'em up like that.
167
00:06:04,739 --> 00:06:07,325
Why is it okay for smokers
to take breaks all the time?
168
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,869
If I wanna go outside and
hang out once an hour,
169
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,204
then I'll just take up smoking.
170
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,080
I'll do it. I don't care.
171
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,248
I'll smoke with you.
172
00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:14,833
I got a bag of
cigars in my purse.
173
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,460
Stealing office supplies is
another big ethical area that
174
00:06:17,502 --> 00:06:19,671
there seems to be
some confusion about.
175
00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,464
That's a big ethical area?
176
00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,341
Listen, I would love to
have an honest conversation
177
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,343
with management about ethics.
178
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:27,762
Why isn't the
company doing better?
179
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:31,683
Mm. It could be the pad of
post-its I took home last week.
180
00:06:33,184 --> 00:06:35,228
Or it could be the $12 million
in deferred compensation
181
00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:37,689
and stock options they
paid the CEO for a year
182
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,315
of substandard performance.
183
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:41,359
I'm sure we'll cover
both in the seminar.
184
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,029
Okay. Can we have a moment?
185
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:46,197
Can I talk to you
for a second?
186
00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:47,949
A lot of good stuff. Yeah.
187
00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,160
- You look, you look,
- [Dwight] Michael.
188
00:06:50,201 --> 00:06:51,703
Fantastic. Yeah?
189
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:53,872
What should we be working
on while you guys are talking?
190
00:06:53,913 --> 00:06:54,748
Do some, do some work.
191
00:06:56,124 --> 00:06:58,626
People expect a lot
from these meetings.
192
00:06:58,668 --> 00:07:02,672
Laughter, sudden twists,
surprise endings.
193
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,926
You need to be Robin Williams
and M. Night Shyamalan.
194
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:08,595
You need to be Robin Shyamalan.
195
00:07:08,636 --> 00:07:10,347
Well, I just have to
get through the binder
196
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,931
You're just, you're
kind of losing them.
197
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,516
I am?
198
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:16,019
Yeah. Don't think about the
stakes. It'll freak you out.
199
00:07:16,061 --> 00:07:17,354
Okay.
200
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:19,647
Well, Michael makes
a really good point.
201
00:07:19,689 --> 00:07:22,484
So let's just open
this up a little bit.
202
00:07:22,525 --> 00:07:26,321
Say my name is Lauren
and here I am shopping
203
00:07:26,363 --> 00:07:29,199
in a supermarket and
I steal a pencil.
204
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,575
That's not right.
205
00:07:30,617 --> 00:07:31,409
(coughing)
206
00:07:31,451 --> 00:07:32,285
Lauren
207
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:33,745
Enough with the pencils.
208
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:36,039
No, I have to go over
pencils and office supplies.
209
00:07:36,081 --> 00:07:37,290
It's part of the ethics thing.
210
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,292
That isn't ethics.
211
00:07:39,334 --> 00:07:41,753
Ethics is a real discussion
of competing conceptions
212
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,254
of the good.
213
00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:45,799
This is just the corporate
anti-shoplifting rules.
214
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,592
[Andy] I'll drop an
ethics bomb on you.
215
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:51,096
Would you steal bread
to feed your family?
216
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:52,013
Boom!
217
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:53,390
Exactly. Andy.
218
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,308
Yeah. I took
Intro to Philosophy.
219
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,851
Twice. No big deal.
220
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:59,437
It's a trick question.
The bread is poisoned.
221
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,314
Also. It's not your real family.
222
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:04,192
You've been cuckolded by
a stronger, smarter male.
223
00:08:04,234 --> 00:08:06,486
No, that's not how it works.
224
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:11,157
I would not steal the bread.
225
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:14,536
And I would not let
my family go hungry.
226
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,622
Okay. But what if you
didn't have any money?
227
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:19,791
Well, I would
228
00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,128
get a job or I would own a farm.
229
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:24,838
Okay. You're fired.
230
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:27,966
There's a drought,
locusts, the whole thing.
231
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,342
The farm is a money loser.
232
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:32,303
All Right. Then I would
steal a little bread,
233
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,888
but just like ends.
234
00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:38,268
But what if that meant the
baker's family would go hungry?
235
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,437
Doesn't baker
have backup bread?
236
00:08:40,478 --> 00:08:42,188
That was his backup
bread, you stole.
237
00:08:42,230 --> 00:08:44,232
I didn't know I was
stealing his backup bread.
238
00:08:44,274 --> 00:08:45,483
Okay. Okay.
239
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:48,069
All right. You got me.
240
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:49,487
I didn't...
241
00:08:49,529 --> 00:08:52,198
That was fun. That was
fun to think about.
242
00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:54,659
Wow. Do you have any other
brain ticklers for us?
243
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:57,996
No, that that was fun, but
we should get back to business.
244
00:08:58,038 --> 00:08:58,830
Wait, hey Michael.
245
00:08:58,872 --> 00:08:59,998
You see that wall?
246
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:00,832
- Yes.
- Okay.
247
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,334
Now look away from it.
248
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,336
You don't know if
the wall's still there.
249
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,587
What do you mean? Of
course it's still there.
250
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:06,963
Well, you don't know that
251
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:07,756
because you're
not looking at it.
252
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:09,007
What if it disappeared?
253
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,342
Where would it go?
254
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:12,010
Well, that's
not, I don't know.
255
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:13,720
I know where the wall goes.
256
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,638
Okay, so you're saying
257
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,307
that if I'm not
looking at the wall,
258
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,516
how do I know it's there?
259
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:19,184
Yes.
260
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:20,226
Easy.
261
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:24,022
Oh.
262
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,357
Oh, alright.
263
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:29,694
How does the wall know
when I am looking at it?
264
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,821
Okay. I think we've
gone too far off topic.
265
00:09:31,863 --> 00:09:35,158
How do we know that
we are not on topic
266
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,452
for a different conversation?
267
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:40,580
Because it is
not in the binder.
268
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:41,956
Binder?
269
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:44,209
I don't see a binder. I'm
not looking at the binder.
270
00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,711
How do I know the binder exists?
271
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:48,046
Binder?
272
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:48,963
I hardly knew her.
273
00:09:49,005 --> 00:09:49,881
(chuckles)
274
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:52,550
So whoa, still there.
275
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:55,929
Unfortunately my
binder does still exist.
276
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,807
So why don't a couple of
you keep an eye on the walls
277
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:01,393
and the rest of us will
continue the discussion.
278
00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,269
Very good. Stanley,
you take the west wall,
279
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:04,896
Creed, the east, I'll
take the ceiling.
280
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,231
Okay. Thanks Dwight.
281
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:07,857
But we should get
back to business.
282
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:11,069
Have any of you ever
faced any ethical dilemmas
283
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,028
in the workplace?
284
00:10:13,530 --> 00:10:14,781
[Michael] Anybody?
285
00:10:14,823 --> 00:10:17,075
This is a chance for you
to say something without
286
00:10:17,117 --> 00:10:18,326
any repercussion.
287
00:10:18,368 --> 00:10:20,745
Stanley and Oscar, come on.
288
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:21,955
Pass.
289
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:23,707
I will go first.
290
00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:27,168
When I discovered YouTube,
I didn't work for five days.
291
00:10:27,210 --> 00:10:29,546
I did nothing.
292
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,257
I viewed Cookie Monster
sings Chocolate Rain
293
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,092
about a thousand times.
294
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,844
What was the dilemma?
295
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:37,762
To tell you or not.
296
00:10:37,804 --> 00:10:40,765
And I'm glad I did. I
feel very, very good.
297
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,267
And cathartic.
298
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:44,728
I promise you that you are
not going to get into trouble.
299
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,230
You can say anything
you want with total
300
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,356
and complete immunity.
301
00:10:48,398 --> 00:10:49,399
Oh no, no.
302
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:51,776
Yeah. Come on. Anybody.
303
00:10:51,818 --> 00:10:53,236
Let it fly.
304
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,655
Okay. Once, once in a
while, I'll take a long lunch.
305
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:56,740
A siesta.
306
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,783
Time thief, time
thief, fire him!
307
00:10:58,825 --> 00:10:59,993
Dwight.
308
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:02,620
You've really never,
stolen any company time?
309
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:03,496
Never.
310
00:11:03,538 --> 00:11:06,041
You are a thief of joy.
311
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,585
I have never missed a
day because of sickness.
312
00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:11,838
I have had intestinal flu,
313
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,299
scabies, lice,
314
00:11:14,341 --> 00:11:18,345
pink eye, mono, the pox.
315
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,971
I still come in.
316
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,514
Anybody else? Yeah.
317
00:11:21,556 --> 00:11:24,309
Sometimes I download pirated
music onto my work computer.
318
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:26,561
Who hasn't? Good. Good.
319
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:27,562
- What else?
- No, I, I'd like
320
00:11:27,604 --> 00:11:29,105
to hear more about that.
321
00:11:29,147 --> 00:11:31,941
Well, remember when Andy
had his engagement brunch?
322
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,569
Several of us got together
to come up with excuses
323
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,987
why we couldn't make it.
324
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,157
What? Who else, Phyllis?
325
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:40,408
I don't want to say.
326
00:11:40,450 --> 00:11:42,619
Yeah, cause no one came.
327
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:44,704
And I threw a deli
platter in the pool.
328
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:48,750
I once reported
Oscar to the INS.
329
00:11:48,792 --> 00:11:51,002
Turns out he's clean,
but I'm glad I did it.
330
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:54,881
Well, let's keep
this party moving on.
331
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,175
I've done some things
I'm not proud of.
332
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,928
Committed some
atrocities in Vietnam.
333
00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:02,722
Two years ago,
Princess Cruise Lines.
334
00:12:03,473 --> 00:12:04,808
Ryan.
335
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,351
Oh, what you mean?
Other than embezzling?
336
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:09,020
- Fraud, Jim, fraud.
- Fraud.
337
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,523
Sure. Last year, you guys
were riding me really hard
338
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,650
for the web site, and I
just peeled out my Z3,
339
00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,069
and I knocked the mirror
off somebody's car.
340
00:12:16,111 --> 00:12:17,195
I never said a thing.
341
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,197
Wait, what?
342
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,490
I'll go.
343
00:12:20,532 --> 00:12:22,325
Have you guys ever
met Bruce Myers,
344
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,285
the Scranton rep for Hammermill?
345
00:12:24,327 --> 00:12:25,370
Bruuuuuuuuuce.
346
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,871
Well, for the past six years,
347
00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:29,749
I've been sleeping with him,
in exchange for discounts,
348
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:33,253
on our supplies and Outback
Steakhouse gift certificates.
349
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:34,421
Jackpot.
350
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,464
(laughing)
351
00:12:36,506 --> 00:12:39,884
Meredith. That is serious.
352
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:42,679
I mean, not only is that
a conflict of interest,
353
00:12:42,721 --> 00:12:45,098
but there's also an
exchange of goods.
354
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,933
Exchange of steak.
355
00:12:46,975 --> 00:12:48,643
Have you ever had
sirloin steak, honey?
356
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:51,855
That's crazy.
That's crazy talk.
357
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:56,901
Meredith, the Maridater,
sleeping with suppliers.
358
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:58,069
(laughter)
359
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,404
Whoo woo
360
00:12:59,446 --> 00:13:01,156
Wow. What time we got?
361
00:13:01,197 --> 00:13:04,576
You know what? That's a good
place to end it, right there.
362
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,746
This I think was a
great ethic seminar.
363
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:11,082
She has given us a lot of
wonderful things to think about.
364
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,877
Right. What is wrong?
365
00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:16,546
Who's to say,
really, in the end.
366
00:13:16,588 --> 00:13:19,341
I mean, because
it is unknowable,
367
00:13:19,382 --> 00:13:20,925
but let's give her
a round of applause.
368
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:21,676
(applause)
369
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,136
Holly everybody. Holly.
370
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:23,970
Get back to work.
371
00:13:25,972 --> 00:13:27,390
Great job.
372
00:13:27,432 --> 00:13:30,435
I am truly impressed that ah,
373
00:13:30,477 --> 00:13:31,561
you really pulled that one out.
374
00:13:31,603 --> 00:13:33,271
Classic classic meeting.
375
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,773
We should celebrate.
376
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,233
Michael, there's some
serious issues with Meredith.
377
00:13:37,275 --> 00:13:38,485
Oh
378
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:39,527
I mean all of you
have done things.
379
00:13:39,569 --> 00:13:40,987
I wouldn't have done myself,
380
00:13:41,029 --> 00:13:43,323
but Meredith's actions
are really over the line.
381
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,784
Yeah. What you gonna do?
382
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,542
When you wink at the end,
does that mean something?
383
00:13:54,584 --> 00:13:56,169
Mmm hmm. It means he's a dork.
384
00:13:57,003 --> 00:13:58,213
Oh. So how do I write back?
385
00:13:58,254 --> 00:13:59,673
You know, showing him
that I'm also a dork?
386
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:00,674
Oh, he knows.
387
00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:03,009
Don't ask me.
388
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:04,719
I don't even know
what I'm doing here.
389
00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:06,304
I'm like way older
than you guys.
390
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:11,601
I mean like I have a fiance,
and I had like a 10 year plan,
391
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:14,562
and like is graphic
design even art?
392
00:14:14,604 --> 00:14:16,314
At this point, I thought
that I would be married
393
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:17,899
and running my own art company.
394
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,656
But, um, I would just
put like a big LOL,
395
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,241
little LOL, winky face.
396
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,367
Huh? Okay.
397
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:32,914
So regarding the supplier,
398
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:36,251
approximately how many
liaisons have there been?
399
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,627
Liaisons? You mean meetups?
400
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:39,462
I don't know.
401
00:14:39,504 --> 00:14:41,381
Once a month for six years.
402
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:42,674
Something like that.
403
00:14:42,716 --> 00:14:45,260
Meredith, why don't
you tell Holly it's not
404
00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:46,594
what she thinks.
405
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:48,763
Nothing unethical happened.
406
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:52,892
And that you just
like to sleep around.
407
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:54,352
Am I in trouble
here or something?
408
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,437
No, no.
409
00:14:55,478 --> 00:14:57,439
This is just a stupid formality.
410
00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:59,858
No, it's not a formality.
411
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:02,360
Now were these, um,
412
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:03,570
meetups,
413
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,321
just personal,
414
00:15:05,363 --> 00:15:06,656
unrelated to business?
415
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,450
Nah, I wouldn't have
done it if it wasn't
416
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,951
for the discount paper.
417
00:15:09,993 --> 00:15:11,703
There's not a lot of
fruit in those Looms.
418
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:13,121
For the love of God,
we're trying to help you.
419
00:15:13,163 --> 00:15:14,414
You stupid bag.
420
00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:17,083
What I don't understand is
421
00:15:18,209 --> 00:15:20,295
why the steak coupons?
422
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:23,590
I mean if you were already
getting the discounted paper?
423
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,091
Well, it's funny.
424
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:28,887
Maybe it's a girl thing,
but after we did it,
425
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:31,306
when he would give me
those coupons,
426
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,183
I just felt good about myself.
427
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:39,773
And what's going on here.
428
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,149
I thought I had immunity.
429
00:15:41,191 --> 00:15:43,360
Well unfortunately
immunity or something being
430
00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,363
off the record does not
really exist in the workplace.
431
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,947
I mean, I've never heard of
anyone who kept their job
432
00:15:47,989 --> 00:15:49,991
after something like this.
433
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,369
Well, I'm not quitting.
434
00:15:57,165 --> 00:16:02,170
Hey man, you knocked the
mirror off of my car.
435
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:04,714
Yeah. Isn't that messed up?
436
00:16:04,756 --> 00:16:06,007
Yeah.
437
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,801
That guy did a lot of
things I'm not proud of.
438
00:16:09,344 --> 00:16:15,100
Wait. When you say, "that
guy", do you mean you?
439
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,810
I mean the guy I used to be.
440
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,189
I'm Ryan 2.0 and if it
makes you feel any better,
441
00:16:21,231 --> 00:16:23,942
that guy did a lot of
messed up stuff to me too.
442
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:27,946
No. You mean that you did a
lot of messed up stuff to you...
443
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,406
- Look, I feel you.
- ...too.
444
00:16:29,447 --> 00:16:32,325
Okay. That guy took no
responsibility for his actions.
445
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:35,912
But are, are you
gonna pay for my mirror?
446
00:16:35,954 --> 00:16:38,373
If I have to answer for
everything that guy did,
447
00:16:40,291 --> 00:16:41,292
I'm never gonna move on.
448
00:16:42,585 --> 00:16:44,379
It was like $200.
449
00:16:44,421 --> 00:16:46,840
We're never gonna get
what we need from that guy.
450
00:16:51,344 --> 00:16:52,679
What are we gonna do?
451
00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:53,680
About what?
452
00:16:53,722 --> 00:16:55,223
Holly?
453
00:16:55,265 --> 00:16:58,476
She's on the war path. She
is gunning for all our jobs.
454
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:00,103
Do you guys have
any dirt on her?
455
00:17:01,396 --> 00:17:03,398
Sometimes her stockings
have a run in them.
456
00:17:03,440 --> 00:17:05,525
No something, I can
blackmail her with.
457
00:17:06,818 --> 00:17:09,612
Mmm, one time, I said
good morning to her
458
00:17:09,654 --> 00:17:11,406
and she didn't say it back.
459
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,285
Stanley. Didn't she say a
bunch of racist stuff to you?
460
00:17:15,326 --> 00:17:16,995
No, that was you.
461
00:17:17,037 --> 00:17:19,414
You weren't even in the room.
462
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:20,290
Thanks for nothin'
463
00:17:31,426 --> 00:17:32,218
Hmm
464
00:17:33,762 --> 00:17:35,472
Yawn, four seconds.
465
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,808
What are you doing?
466
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:39,934
Oh, you had said that
you don't do anything
467
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:40,894
personal during work time.
468
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,228
So, I'm just making sure.
469
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:44,731
Oh, wait a minute.
470
00:17:44,773 --> 00:17:46,274
So you're gonna time
me every time I yawn?
471
00:17:46,316 --> 00:17:47,776
That's absurd.
472
00:17:47,817 --> 00:17:49,361
Really?
473
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,696
Oh, here look, monkey knows
how to use a stopwatch.
474
00:17:51,738 --> 00:17:53,365
Everybody he's ti-
475
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,037
(timer beeps)
476
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:00,622
Personal conversation.
477
00:18:00,663 --> 00:18:02,123
17 seconds.
478
00:18:02,165 --> 00:18:03,083
There is no way that
(timer beeps)
479
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:03,917
that was
480
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:05,460
(timer beeps again)
481
00:18:05,502 --> 00:18:06,378
One second.
482
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:13,885
Well, well Holly-luah.
483
00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:14,886
It's a miracle,
484
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,304
You're at your desk.
485
00:18:16,346 --> 00:18:18,473
It's mi-rac-ulous
486
00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:21,935
Woo hoo, reaching.
You'll get there.
487
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:24,312
Anyway, I was giving
it some thought
488
00:18:24,354 --> 00:18:29,359
and there's no reason that
two attractive, good looking,
489
00:18:30,026 --> 00:18:32,278
intelligent, funny,
490
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:35,281
attractive people,
can't, you know,
491
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,784
just sit down and work this
whole Meredith thing out.
492
00:18:37,826 --> 00:18:39,369
Sounds good.
493
00:18:39,411 --> 00:18:41,037
Good.
494
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:42,831
Would you care to
bang it out over lunch?
495
00:18:42,872 --> 00:18:45,250
Oh, I already bought this.
496
00:18:45,291 --> 00:18:47,168
Oh no, no, no.
497
00:18:47,210 --> 00:18:51,047
Your food is no
good here, my lady.
498
00:18:52,298 --> 00:18:53,091
Sorry.
499
00:18:53,967 --> 00:18:55,844
You know what? Let's go out.
500
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,013
Dunder Mifflin's treat.
501
00:18:58,054 --> 00:19:01,433
Um, actually,
you're not a client,
502
00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,643
so, we'll just split it?
503
00:19:05,228 --> 00:19:06,062
Ethical.
504
00:19:07,439 --> 00:19:10,358
No, this is not
an official date.
505
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,987
When it is an official date,
she will be aware of it.
506
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:15,530
There will be a rose.
507
00:19:16,573 --> 00:19:19,659
There will be music and dancing,
508
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:22,037
bottle of red,
509
00:19:22,078 --> 00:19:23,580
bottle of white,
510
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:27,000
bottle of water, I have
to drink more water.
511
00:19:28,209 --> 00:19:32,130
Some whispered
conversation, some giggling,
512
00:19:33,757 --> 00:19:35,467
hmm, little wine.
513
00:19:37,135 --> 00:19:38,553
We head back to her place.
514
00:19:39,929 --> 00:19:41,598
I will skip ahead to
protect her dignity,
515
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:46,227
but we make hardcore love.
516
00:19:47,312 --> 00:19:49,773
And then we fall
asleep on her lanai,
517
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,274
to the sound of the full moon.
518
00:19:53,735 --> 00:19:57,572
And then chocolate
chip pancakes.
519
00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:02,160
(car whizzing by)
520
00:20:02,202 --> 00:20:03,745
Are you ready to order?
521
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:04,954
Yes we are.
522
00:20:04,996 --> 00:20:08,375
We would like to start
with the chowders
523
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:13,380
and then we will move on to
the lobster feast for two.
524
00:20:14,673 --> 00:20:17,676
And do you have a house red?
525
00:20:17,717 --> 00:20:18,885
Yep.
526
00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:20,929
We will take a bottle of that.
527
00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,306
House makes a great red.
528
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,849
Anything else for you miss?
529
00:20:24,891 --> 00:20:26,351
Oh, I'll just
have the chef salad
530
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,478
and no dressing and
an iced tea, please.
531
00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:33,483
So do you still want
those two lobsters?
532
00:20:33,525 --> 00:20:34,818
Yes. Yes.
533
00:20:34,859 --> 00:20:35,735
Okay.
534
00:20:35,777 --> 00:20:36,945
Yes, I do.
535
00:20:36,986 --> 00:20:37,987
I will be right
back with your drinks.
536
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,280
Thank you.
537
00:20:39,322 --> 00:20:41,533
So I've gone over
corporate policy.
538
00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,159
What do you think?
539
00:20:43,201 --> 00:20:44,744
What do you think of this place?
540
00:20:44,786 --> 00:20:45,620
Oh, it's very nice.
541
00:20:45,662 --> 00:20:46,621
Isn't it?
542
00:20:46,663 --> 00:20:47,956
Mmm
543
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:49,833
Yeah, it's kind of
business romantic.
544
00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:50,959
So you're from Des Moines?
545
00:20:51,001 --> 00:20:51,960
Mmm.
546
00:20:52,002 --> 00:20:54,587
Wow. That sounds so warm.
547
00:20:55,547 --> 00:20:56,381
In summer.
548
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,632
(snicker)
549
00:20:57,674 --> 00:20:58,967
Here too.
550
00:20:59,009 --> 00:21:00,635
You know what my
favorite season is?
551
00:21:00,677 --> 00:21:02,429
Maybe we should talk
about Meredith first.
552
00:21:02,470 --> 00:21:04,681
Yes. Get the boring
stuff outta the way.
553
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:07,934
Autumn was what I was gonna say.
When the leaves change.
554
00:21:07,976 --> 00:21:09,519
It's just, I, I think it's
555
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:12,856
the most contemplative
of seasons.
556
00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,733
Okay, so I've gone over this
557
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,900
and I've thought about it,
558
00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,819
and I just don't
think there's any way
559
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,654
I can write a report
that doesn't end
560
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,698
with her being terminated.
561
00:21:21,740 --> 00:21:23,491
Wow. Terminate her.
562
00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,077
Terminator
563
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,328
I'm from the future.
564
00:21:30,540 --> 00:21:32,292
Hey Andy?
565
00:21:32,334 --> 00:21:33,626
Yo.
566
00:21:33,668 --> 00:21:34,836
By any chance, did you
see Battlestar Galactica
567
00:21:34,878 --> 00:21:36,129
last night?
568
00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:38,298
No, I did not.
Is that any good?
569
00:21:38,340 --> 00:21:40,425
Actually not. It
was really so, so.
570
00:21:40,467 --> 00:21:41,259
Okay.
571
00:21:43,261 --> 00:21:45,180
I mean, I like all the
crazy monsters and stuff.
572
00:21:45,221 --> 00:21:49,601
You know, like Klingons and
Wookies, and all that but,
573
00:21:51,519 --> 00:21:54,230
Sorry, was there something
you wanted to add, Dwight?
574
00:21:56,816 --> 00:21:59,569
Is that anything like the
original Battlestar Galactica?
575
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:00,945
You know what's weird?
576
00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:03,448
It's practically a
shot, for shot remake.
577
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:04,491
Really?
578
00:22:04,532 --> 00:22:06,076
(paper crinkling)
579
00:22:06,117 --> 00:22:08,036
Huh? That's cool.
580
00:22:08,078 --> 00:22:09,537
Story's kind of bland.
581
00:22:09,579 --> 00:22:11,873
It's about this guy named
Dumbledore Talarizan.
582
00:22:11,915 --> 00:22:12,874
- Oh, okay.
- He needs to return
583
00:22:12,916 --> 00:22:15,001
the ring, back to Mortor.
584
00:22:15,043 --> 00:22:16,294
Really?
585
00:22:16,336 --> 00:22:18,088
That doesn't sound right.
586
00:22:19,255 --> 00:22:22,092
I just don't want my
employees thinking that
587
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:25,637
their jobs depend
on performance.
588
00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:29,641
I mean, what sort of place
is that to call home?
589
00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:32,894
And Meredith needs this job.
590
00:22:32,936 --> 00:22:34,938
This is her main
source of money.
591
00:22:34,979 --> 00:22:36,106
Well, that's very sweet,
592
00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,774
but we have to
follow the protocol.
593
00:22:37,816 --> 00:22:38,775
Those are the rules.
594
00:22:38,817 --> 00:22:40,485
Okay. New idea.
595
00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:42,028
We don't report it at
all. We just punish her.
596
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:42,862
We punish her.
597
00:22:42,904 --> 00:22:44,155
Mmm hmm
598
00:22:44,197 --> 00:22:46,366
Tell her, can't have
sex for six months.
599
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:47,617
I don't think we
could enforce that.
600
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:50,328
I don't know.
I saw this thing,
601
00:22:50,370 --> 00:22:51,913
like a belt with a key.
602
00:22:51,955 --> 00:22:53,456
A Chasity belt.
603
00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:58,294
It's more of a underwear
garment that has little spikes,
604
00:22:58,336 --> 00:23:00,922
like made of, like sometimes
they're made of metal.
605
00:23:00,964 --> 00:23:02,966
You know what I'm talking about?
606
00:23:03,008 --> 00:23:04,801
You unlock a little door that,
607
00:23:05,927 --> 00:23:06,761
down
608
00:23:08,096 --> 00:23:09,180
where you,
609
00:23:09,222 --> 00:23:10,056
where you put,
610
00:23:10,098 --> 00:23:10,807
where you put the
611
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:21,901
He has not stopped
working for a second.
612
00:23:23,236 --> 00:23:26,072
At 12:45, he sneezed,
613
00:23:26,114 --> 00:23:27,615
while keeping his eyes open.
614
00:23:28,700 --> 00:23:31,119
Which I always thought
was impossible.
615
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:32,787
At 1:32, he peed.
616
00:23:32,829 --> 00:23:35,832
And I know that because he
did it in an open soda bottle,
617
00:23:35,874 --> 00:23:38,960
under the desk, while
filling out expense reports.
618
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:41,463
And on the flip side, I've
been so busy watching him
619
00:23:41,504 --> 00:23:43,256
that I haven't
even started work.
620
00:23:44,341 --> 00:23:45,842
It's exhausting
being this vigilant.
621
00:23:47,677 --> 00:23:50,013
I'll probably have to
go home early today.
622
00:23:50,055 --> 00:23:52,307
I am just saying
that I don't think
623
00:23:52,349 --> 00:23:55,643
that you understand
what I am saying.
624
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:58,229
No, you are saying,
that we should sweep it
625
00:23:58,271 --> 00:24:01,566
under the carpet, accept
the discount on supplies,
626
00:24:01,608 --> 00:24:03,526
not fire Meredith
and pretend like
627
00:24:03,568 --> 00:24:05,278
the whole thing never happened.
628
00:24:06,071 --> 00:24:07,197
Yes.
629
00:24:07,238 --> 00:24:08,656
What am I saying?
630
00:24:08,698 --> 00:24:09,491
Well,
631
00:24:10,867 --> 00:24:12,494
bluuuh, busted. I don't,
632
00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:14,746
I'm saying that her
behavior is unethical
633
00:24:14,788 --> 00:24:16,289
and a little icky.
634
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,291
And I don't think I wanna
work in an environment where
635
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,460
that sort of
conduct's tolerated.
636
00:24:20,502 --> 00:24:21,461
Well, you have
to tolerate a lot,
637
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,088
when you're part of a family.
638
00:24:23,129 --> 00:24:25,715
It's not a family.
It's a workplace.
639
00:24:34,140 --> 00:24:36,810
(car door slams)
640
00:24:38,019 --> 00:24:39,521
(other car door slams)
641
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:40,563
I will be honest with you.
642
00:24:40,605 --> 00:24:44,275
That car ride did not go well.
643
00:24:44,317 --> 00:24:46,444
And that was not my fault.
644
00:24:46,486 --> 00:24:48,154
The only reason I am
standing out here,
645
00:24:48,196 --> 00:24:49,656
right now, is because
I don't want to
646
00:24:49,698 --> 00:24:51,074
take the elevator with her.
647
00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:54,869
And I am holding
on her leftovers.
648
00:24:56,830 --> 00:24:59,541
(crinkling thud)
649
00:25:02,293 --> 00:25:03,211
Hey, how did it go?
650
00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:04,004
Ohh, God,
651
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:06,548
Meredith, you know what?
652
00:25:07,424 --> 00:25:09,300
I just need a minute. Okay?
653
00:25:09,342 --> 00:25:10,343
Okay.
654
00:25:13,596 --> 00:25:15,056
What do you need?
655
00:25:15,098 --> 00:25:16,558
I'm getting fired, aren't I?
656
00:25:17,475 --> 00:25:18,601
I can't get fired.
657
00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:20,061
I got nothing else. Nothing.
658
00:25:20,103 --> 00:25:22,564
No skill set. I can't type.
I'm bad on the phone.
659
00:25:22,605 --> 00:25:23,523
I'm not great with people.
660
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:25,608
I really want to keep you.
661
00:25:25,650 --> 00:25:26,901
Where else am I
gonna get another job
662
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:29,237
that lets me come in at
11 and leave at 4?
663
00:25:29,279 --> 00:25:30,321
Wait, what?
664
00:25:30,363 --> 00:25:31,865
I wish Toby was still here.
665
00:25:31,906 --> 00:25:33,700
Mmm naaa.
666
00:25:52,469 --> 00:25:55,221
Whoa, Pam, you drank
that whole volcano.
667
00:25:55,263 --> 00:25:56,890
No, you guys all had some
668
00:25:56,931 --> 00:25:58,016
Uhh, no.
669
00:25:58,058 --> 00:25:59,184
Mmm, mmm
670
00:25:59,225 --> 00:26:00,852
I just drank a vat of rum?
671
00:26:00,894 --> 00:26:03,855
Yeah, it's still, uh,
lit. You worked fast.
672
00:26:03,897 --> 00:26:04,898
Oh.
673
00:26:04,939 --> 00:26:06,858
Oh, you are toast.
674
00:26:06,900 --> 00:26:08,193
I am not drunk.
675
00:26:08,234 --> 00:26:09,903
Wow. Did you
just hear yourself?
676
00:26:11,237 --> 00:26:12,989
I'm gonna repeat back
to you what you just said.
677
00:26:13,990 --> 00:26:14,991
"uhhhhh, mmmmm, nnnn"
678
00:26:15,033 --> 00:26:16,076
(laughter)
679
00:26:16,117 --> 00:26:17,786
Okay. I do not
sound like that.
680
00:26:17,827 --> 00:26:18,912
You can take a
girl out of Philly.
681
00:26:18,953 --> 00:26:19,621
Scranton
682
00:26:19,662 --> 00:26:22,207
[All] Scran-ton.
683
00:26:22,248 --> 00:26:24,793
What? I am not
even sound like that.
684
00:26:24,834 --> 00:26:26,044
(laughter)
685
00:26:26,086 --> 00:26:28,797
(gibberish)
686
00:26:28,838 --> 00:26:29,631
Exactly.
687
00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:33,051
Oh my gosh. A little bit
of the volcano came up.
688
00:26:33,093 --> 00:26:33,968
Ooh. Oh.
689
00:26:35,011 --> 00:26:36,137
Oh, that's bad.
690
00:26:36,179 --> 00:26:38,264
(laughter)
691
00:26:38,306 --> 00:26:39,849
I bet.
692
00:26:39,891 --> 00:26:42,686
Today was a great day. I
found a new coffee place.
693
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:45,021
I found a new volcano place.
694
00:26:45,063 --> 00:26:47,315
And in Scranton, I would
be considered an alcoholic,
695
00:26:47,357 --> 00:26:49,567
but in New York, I'm
just a moody artist.
696
00:26:49,609 --> 00:26:52,112
You guys moody artists
drink volcanoes, right?
697
00:26:53,113 --> 00:26:53,947
They said, right.
698
00:26:55,115 --> 00:26:56,449
I love New York.
699
00:26:57,617 --> 00:26:59,119
Dunder Mifflin, this is Ryan.
700
00:27:00,120 --> 00:27:01,496
Oh, Hey, Toby.
701
00:27:01,538 --> 00:27:02,789
Como estas?
702
00:27:04,290 --> 00:27:05,417
Are the girls there amazing
703
00:27:05,458 --> 00:27:06,960
or are they all poor and stuff?
704
00:27:08,837 --> 00:27:09,629
Interesting.
705
00:27:11,798 --> 00:27:12,632
Really?
706
00:27:14,134 --> 00:27:15,927
Yeah. Hold on.
707
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:16,803
Hey,
(knocking)
708
00:27:16,845 --> 00:27:18,930
I have Toby on the line for you.
709
00:27:18,972 --> 00:27:20,473
He says he's
returning your call.
710
00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:22,100
He's a liar.
711
00:27:22,142 --> 00:27:22,934
Thanks.
712
00:27:25,895 --> 00:27:26,771
(sigh)
713
00:27:26,813 --> 00:27:28,440
Yes.
714
00:27:28,481 --> 00:27:29,733
[Toby] Hello Michael.
715
00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:32,152
Oh. Wow. I forgot how
stupid your voice was.
716
00:27:32,193 --> 00:27:35,697
This, this is the worst call
I have ever had to make.
717
00:27:35,739 --> 00:27:37,323
I made this call.
718
00:27:37,365 --> 00:27:38,575
It's very expensive. You know?
719
00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:40,035
Well, here's the thing.
720
00:27:40,076 --> 00:27:44,873
Holly is new and she
doesn't know everything yet
721
00:27:44,914 --> 00:27:47,959
because you didn't
teach her right.
722
00:27:48,001 --> 00:27:49,753
I gave her the
standard four hours
723
00:27:49,794 --> 00:27:51,296
of training that we all get.
724
00:27:51,338 --> 00:27:52,839
Okay. Okay.
725
00:27:52,881 --> 00:27:55,508
You obviously overlooked the
part where there is certain
726
00:27:55,550 --> 00:27:58,511
wiggle room in
reporting infractions.
727
00:27:59,596 --> 00:28:01,056
What's going on exactly?
728
00:28:01,097 --> 00:28:03,558
Meredith has been sleeping
with a Hammermill supplier
729
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:05,477
for lower rates.
730
00:28:05,518 --> 00:28:07,145
Okay. That's really not good.
731
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:09,147
A, Holly needs to report that
732
00:28:10,440 --> 00:28:11,483
and B, even though
I've left the job,
733
00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,234
I now have a duty to report it.
734
00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:18,198
(huffs)
735
00:28:26,206 --> 00:28:28,291
19 Minutes and 48 seconds.
736
00:28:29,876 --> 00:28:31,628
What were we doing for 19
minutes and 48 seconds?
737
00:28:31,670 --> 00:28:32,962
None of your business.
738
00:28:35,048 --> 00:28:38,051
So, I guess I can
assume that was personal?
739
00:28:44,516 --> 00:28:45,308
Fine.
740
00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:50,647
So maybe you're not
completely ethical after all.
741
00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:52,565
Yes.
742
00:28:53,608 --> 00:28:54,567
Maybe I'm not.
743
00:28:59,614 --> 00:29:02,075
Hey, anybody see a
pair of sunglasses?
744
00:29:04,619 --> 00:29:08,039
Um, I think I saw
some in the kitchen.
745
00:29:08,081 --> 00:29:10,875
(oven timer dings)
746
00:29:24,931 --> 00:29:25,765
Whoa,
747
00:29:27,434 --> 00:29:29,352
I didn't do that.
748
00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:30,270
(sigh)
749
00:29:30,311 --> 00:29:31,813
That was Kevin 1.0.
750
00:29:33,481 --> 00:29:37,027
But he hurt a lot
of people, Ryan.
751
00:29:37,068 --> 00:29:39,988
And I can't accept responsibility
752
00:29:40,030 --> 00:29:41,948
for what he did.
753
00:29:53,293 --> 00:29:56,755
Kevin 2.0 is exactly
754
00:29:56,796 --> 00:30:00,008
like Kevin 1.0,
755
00:30:00,050 --> 00:30:03,928
except he doesn't
take crap from nobody.
756
00:30:11,478 --> 00:30:13,396
(clink)
757
00:30:16,608 --> 00:30:18,943
(door squeaks)
758
00:30:18,985 --> 00:30:20,320
It's been a little tense.
759
00:30:21,780 --> 00:30:23,823
People are suspicious of me
760
00:30:25,158 --> 00:30:27,744
and my best friend in the
office won't even talk to me.
761
00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:30,830
It turns out being the
morality police does not
762
00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:32,082
make you popular.
763
00:30:32,123 --> 00:30:33,792
I should know, because
in middle school,
764
00:30:33,833 --> 00:30:35,627
I was the hall monitor
and the kids used to stuff
765
00:30:35,669 --> 00:30:37,087
eggs salad in my locker.
766
00:30:38,254 --> 00:30:40,507
Yeah. I was just hoping
middle school was over.
767
00:30:40,548 --> 00:30:42,300
(exhales)
768
00:30:42,342 --> 00:30:45,679
(copy machine clicking)
769
00:30:46,971 --> 00:30:48,640
Kendall from corporate
HR is on line one
770
00:30:48,682 --> 00:30:50,266
and Holly's on her way in too.
771
00:30:50,308 --> 00:30:52,811
What's the only thing
worse than one HR rep?
772
00:30:52,852 --> 00:30:54,479
Two HR reps.
773
00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:55,271
You get me.
774
00:30:56,648 --> 00:30:57,440
(knocking on door)
775
00:30:57,482 --> 00:30:58,733
Can I sit?
776
00:30:58,775 --> 00:31:00,860
I don't know, can you?
777
00:31:02,237 --> 00:31:03,822
Kendall, my main man.
778
00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:06,783
Listen, Holly, Michael,
I just got the report
779
00:31:06,825 --> 00:31:08,702
that your branch submitted
and there's a lot of stuff
780
00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:10,870
about a relationship
Meredith is having with--
781
00:31:10,912 --> 00:31:13,081
Yes. That came out
during the ethics seminar.
782
00:31:13,123 --> 00:31:14,791
And let the record
show that it was during
783
00:31:14,833 --> 00:31:16,626
the immunity part
of the seminar.
784
00:31:16,668 --> 00:31:19,754
Well, I'm not sure
these circumstances warrant any action.
785
00:31:19,796 --> 00:31:22,048
Oh, I think, it's pretty
clear, it was unethical.
786
00:31:22,090 --> 00:31:24,843
Oh, from what I can gather,
it seems like a gray area.
787
00:31:24,884 --> 00:31:26,928
Look, to be honest, the
company's getting a discount
788
00:31:26,970 --> 00:31:28,847
at a tough time on
our balance sheet,
789
00:31:28,888 --> 00:31:30,265
and I don't know that
the right thing to do
790
00:31:30,306 --> 00:31:32,517
for the company is to
turn our noses up at that.
791
00:31:32,559 --> 00:31:35,311
Um, Kendall, I understand
that the discount is good
792
00:31:35,353 --> 00:31:37,897
for the company, but
I'm just not happy about
793
00:31:37,939 --> 00:31:39,232
the way we're getting it.
794
00:31:40,734 --> 00:31:42,902
See, I thought it was
clear with you, Holly.
795
00:31:42,944 --> 00:31:45,697
Your task was to get signatures
from the employees showing
796
00:31:45,739 --> 00:31:47,365
that they completed
the training.
797
00:31:47,407 --> 00:31:48,575
No, I understand.
798
00:31:48,616 --> 00:31:49,826
Look, cause every
other branch has managed
799
00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:50,785
to get this to us. So,
if it's not something
800
00:31:50,827 --> 00:31:52,746
- you can handle,
- No.
801
00:31:52,787 --> 00:31:53,705
then that's a
different discussion.
802
00:31:53,747 --> 00:31:55,206
No, I, I can do it.
803
00:31:55,248 --> 00:31:56,249
Good.
804
00:31:56,291 --> 00:31:58,460
(dial tone)
805
00:32:01,671 --> 00:32:05,175
How do you tell somebody
that you care about, deeply,
806
00:32:06,426 --> 00:32:07,385
I told you so?
807
00:32:08,970 --> 00:32:11,056
Gently, with a rose?
808
00:32:13,058 --> 00:32:14,476
In a funny way?
809
00:32:14,517 --> 00:32:16,936
Like it's a hilarious joke?
810
00:32:19,439 --> 00:32:20,523
Or do you just let it go?
811
00:32:22,108 --> 00:32:24,319
Because saying it would
just make things worse.
812
00:32:27,447 --> 00:32:28,531
Probably the funny way.
813
00:32:29,783 --> 00:32:31,326
Can I have
everyone's attention?
814
00:32:33,119 --> 00:32:35,872
Excuse me. May I have
everyone's attention, please?
815
00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:38,792
We need to finish
the ethics seminar.
816
00:32:38,833 --> 00:32:40,168
No way lady.
817
00:32:40,210 --> 00:32:41,461
It's a trap.
818
00:32:41,503 --> 00:32:43,338
Everyone, please, I
just need your signatures
819
00:32:43,380 --> 00:32:45,298
to show corporate that
I gave you the training.
820
00:32:45,340 --> 00:32:46,466
Don't sign anything.
821
00:32:46,508 --> 00:32:48,176
Okay, everybody listen
up, if you are not
822
00:32:48,218 --> 00:32:49,886
in that conference
room in two minutes,
823
00:32:49,928 --> 00:32:51,429
I am going to kill you.
824
00:32:51,471 --> 00:32:52,681
It's a quarter to five
825
00:32:52,722 --> 00:32:54,766
and I have started
to gather my things.
826
00:32:54,808 --> 00:32:58,978
Get in there right now
or I'm gonna lose it!
827
00:33:09,364 --> 00:33:10,448
Am I getting fired?
828
00:33:10,490 --> 00:33:12,158
Now's really not
the time, Meredith.
829
00:33:14,285 --> 00:33:16,371
In this next section,
we examine the difference
830
00:33:16,413 --> 00:33:19,207
between sick days
and personal days.
831
00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,835
Sick days are only to
be used when an illness
832
00:33:21,876 --> 00:33:24,045
precludes you from
doing your job
833
00:33:24,087 --> 00:33:26,047
or can spread to your coworkers.
834
00:33:27,465 --> 00:33:30,468
Personal days, on the other
hand, are much more flexible.
835
00:33:30,510 --> 00:33:32,512
I guess it does sort
of look like Holly
836
00:33:32,554 --> 00:33:35,515
and I lost a bit of
our connection, today,
837
00:33:35,557 --> 00:33:36,641
but I don't think we did.
838
00:33:36,683 --> 00:33:38,435
I think it's still there.
839
00:33:38,476 --> 00:33:41,062
You might not be able to see
it, but it is still there.
840
00:33:42,355 --> 00:33:43,940
It's like the wall.
841
00:33:43,982 --> 00:33:45,275
That whole wall thing.
842
00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:48,987
They say how can you know
if the wall is there,
843
00:33:49,029 --> 00:33:50,363
if you don't see it?
844
00:33:50,405 --> 00:33:52,824
Well, I know it's there.
845
00:33:52,866 --> 00:33:55,160
How? I do. I just do.
846
00:33:56,578 --> 00:33:59,164
Also, if the wall disappears,
847
00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:02,042
my picture will fall down,
and I will hear that.
848
00:34:07,464 --> 00:34:09,215
Thank you, Meredith.
This was delicious.
849
00:34:09,257 --> 00:34:10,717
Hey, where's the steak sauce?
850
00:34:11,968 --> 00:34:13,219
I think we're out.
851
00:34:13,261 --> 00:34:15,180
I got some in my
minivan somewhere.
852
00:34:17,557 --> 00:34:20,352
Wait a second, how does
the steak factor in again?
853
00:34:20,393 --> 00:34:22,979
I think she got it as a tip,
854
00:34:23,021 --> 00:34:25,315
but I don't know why she
didn't just take cash.
855
00:34:25,357 --> 00:34:26,733
I don't care what she's doing.
856
00:34:26,775 --> 00:34:28,318
I hope she just
keeps doing it.
857
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:29,944
Amen. Just keep
the ribs coming.
858
00:34:29,986 --> 00:34:32,364
(slap)
859
00:34:32,405 --> 00:34:35,033
(bright music)
59830
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