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1
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:10,969
[sighs]
Bleaah!
2
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,554
Okay, where does it hurt?
3
00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:14,848
Just... all over.
4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,434
I...don't want
to do anything.
5
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:18,476
I'm dying.
6
00:00:18,518 --> 00:00:19,561
No, that's not
how it works.
7
00:00:19,602 --> 00:00:20,562
You have to point
to a specific part
8
00:00:20,603 --> 00:00:22,063
of the body.
9
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,524
Right there.
10
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:25,525
(Dwight)
"Abdomen."
11
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,610
"Menses."
Maybe.
12
00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:29,946
"The uterus contracts after
your egg passes through it."
13
00:00:29,988 --> 00:00:31,489
Not it.
I don't have eggs.
14
00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:32,991
So when did this start?
15
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:34,534
About ten minutes ago.
16
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:36,036
When I came in
with the paperwork?
17
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:37,287
Mm-hmm.
18
00:00:37,328 --> 00:00:39,497
About 40 times a year,
Michael gets really sick,
19
00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:41,666
but has no symptoms.
20
00:00:41,708 --> 00:00:44,252
Dwight is always
gravely concerned.
21
00:00:44,294 --> 00:00:46,379
(Dwight)
Ooh, is it possible you ate food
22
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:48,173
that contained
animal waste?
23
00:00:48,214 --> 00:00:49,382
It's possible.
24
00:00:49,424 --> 00:00:51,009
(Pam)
Michael? Huh?
25
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,510
David Wallace
is on line one.
26
00:00:52,552 --> 00:00:54,137
The CFO?
27
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,180
Oh.
28
00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:56,514
All right,
everybody out.
29
00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,183
Out, out, out.
30
00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,476
Okay...
31
00:00:59,517 --> 00:01:02,020
To what do I owe this
great honor, David Wallace?
32
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,605
[David on speakerphone]
Michael, I am calling--
33
00:01:03,646 --> 00:01:05,523
And Gromit.
34
00:01:05,565 --> 00:01:06,608
[sighs]
35
00:01:06,649 --> 00:01:08,276
Jan?
36
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,819
Is Jan there?
37
00:01:09,861 --> 00:01:11,571
Jan is out of town
right now.
38
00:01:11,613 --> 00:01:13,698
Oh, you sigh like Jan.
39
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,033
[sighs]
40
00:01:15,075 --> 00:01:17,494
I broke Jan's heart, David,
and I feel awful.
41
00:01:17,535 --> 00:01:19,162
It was--
42
00:01:19,204 --> 00:01:22,540
It was never my intention
to ruin a life.
43
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:24,542
But you know what?
44
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:26,628
Sometimes...
Michael?
45
00:01:26,670 --> 00:01:29,381
you just gots
to get your freak on.
46
00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,382
Michael?
Yeah?
47
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:31,633
Michael?
Hmm?
48
00:01:31,675 --> 00:01:34,427
I'm calling to see
if you would come down
49
00:01:34,469 --> 00:01:35,929
and interview for a job
50
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:37,305
we have opening up
in corporate.
51
00:01:37,347 --> 00:01:39,057
Really?
52
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,642
A week from today.
53
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,644
Bring your first-quarter stats
and your recommendation
54
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:44,562
for who'd take over
the Scranton branch.
55
00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:46,231
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
56
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:49,734
I wish I had prepared
something to say.
57
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:50,777
That's not necessary.
58
00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:55,448
May God guide you
in your quest.
59
00:01:55,490 --> 00:01:56,741
Yes.
60
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:59,077
God guide you too.
61
00:02:00,787 --> 00:02:03,331
[sighs]
62
00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:05,250
All better.
63
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,459
You know what?
64
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,920
Sometimes all the body needs
to heal itself
65
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:11,464
is to be promoted.
66
00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:16,594
[upbeat piano music]
67
00:02:16,636 --> 00:02:23,560
{\an8}♪ ♪
68
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,293
Okay, everybody have
their towels
69
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,545
and swimsuits?
70
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:52,130
We have about
an hour and a half.
71
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,007
I suggest that
you all go potty now.
72
00:02:54,049 --> 00:02:55,467
And then we will
be congregating
73
00:02:55,508 --> 00:02:57,344
on the par-tay bus.
74
00:02:57,385 --> 00:02:58,636
Fun on wheels.
75
00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:00,472
Only way to travel.
76
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,474
Besides a monorail.
77
00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:03,516
Or a jet tube.
78
00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:05,643
Oh, I'm excited--
today is beach day.
79
00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,770
Michael is taking
the whole office
80
00:03:06,811 --> 00:03:08,104
to the beach.
81
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,815
{\an8}So I'm wearing my bathing suit
underneath my shirt.
82
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:14,944
{\an8}Oh, yeah, I packed it
in my purse.
83
00:03:14,986 --> 00:03:16,738
Well, Bob was going
to just drive me.
84
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:17,989
Uh, no.
No, no, no.
85
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,115
No guests today.
86
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,700
Classic gang only.
87
00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:21,993
Just as good friends.
88
00:03:22,035 --> 00:03:25,038
And Karen and Andy.
89
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,915
Sometimes Michael
gets nostalgic,
90
00:03:26,956 --> 00:03:30,001
and he talks
about the classic gang.
91
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,170
That's Michael, me,
Jim, Dwight,
92
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,005
Angela, Kevin, Oscar,
93
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,674
Stanley, Phyllis, Creed,
94
00:03:35,715 --> 00:03:38,927
Meredith, Kelly, and Ryan.
95
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:40,929
We're a regular
"Ocean's Eleven."
96
00:03:40,970 --> 00:03:42,681
Oscar, you brought
your Speedo, I assume?
97
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:44,140
I don't wear a Speedo, Michael.
98
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:47,018
Well, you can't swim
in leather pants.
99
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:48,895
Ha ha ha.
100
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,855
I'm just yankin'
your chain.
101
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,148
Not literally.
102
00:03:52,190 --> 00:03:53,858
Anybody need sunblock?
103
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,026
It's got an SPF 30.
104
00:03:55,068 --> 00:03:56,861
Oh, you know what?
105
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:58,822
Uh, you're not going.
106
00:03:58,863 --> 00:03:59,864
It's beach day.
107
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:02,242
Yeah, I know.
I'm sorry, Toby.
108
00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:03,159
We, um--
109
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,412
Somebody has to stay here.
110
00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,871
And you got dressed
and everything--
111
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,039
I'm sorry, man.
112
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,457
Classic gang only.
113
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:12,544
I want today to be
a beautiful memory
114
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:15,922
that the staff and I share
after I have passed on
115
00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,966
to New York.
116
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:20,802
And if Toby is
a part of it...
117
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:22,429
then it'll suck.
118
00:04:23,972 --> 00:04:27,934
[sighs]
Why is this so crazy hard?
119
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,561
Ryan, how do you make
decisions?
120
00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:32,230
[sighs] I realize that no
matter what decision I make,
121
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,524
it won't change the course
of anything.
122
00:04:34,566 --> 00:04:37,444
And I shouldn't have bothered
anyone by saying it out loud.
123
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:42,032
Well, that is so not the case
with this, Ryan.
124
00:04:42,073 --> 00:04:43,241
This is, like, the hardest
decision I've ever
125
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,951
I've ever had to make
in my whole life.
126
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,703
Right.
127
00:04:46,745 --> 00:04:48,663
Hey...
128
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,331
want my sunscreen?
129
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:51,875
Oh, great.
130
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:54,377
I forgot mine,
and I'm wearing a two-piece.
131
00:04:54,419 --> 00:04:55,920
Ahh.
132
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:58,131
Thanks, Toby.
133
00:05:00,091 --> 00:05:01,426
Hey, Pam,
134
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,928
You broke up with your boyfriend
135
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,263
and then kept working together.
136
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,848
How did that work out?
137
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:07,932
{\an8}You remember?
138
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,060
{\an8}You fired Roy
for attacking Jim.
139
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,895
{\an8}And I don't talk to him
anymore, really.
140
00:05:11,936 --> 00:05:13,438
Huh.
141
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,273
Acrimonious.
142
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:17,525
Okay, I have a very
important job for you today.
143
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,486
I thought we were just
having fun at the beach.
144
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:20,570
We are, we are.
145
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,406
But I would like you
to take notes.
146
00:05:23,448 --> 00:05:26,159
And I want you to find out
about people's character.
147
00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,287
You know,
not their hotness, per se,
148
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:32,707
but their humor
and their charisma.
149
00:05:32,749 --> 00:05:35,293
And the indefinable quality
150
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,629
that makes you all glad
to follow me.
151
00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:41,216
What happens to a company
if somebody takes a boss away?
152
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:44,052
I will answer your question
with a question.
153
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:47,305
It's like what happens
to a chicken...
154
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,474
when you take
its head away.
155
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:51,726
It dies.
156
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:55,105
Unless you find a new head.
157
00:05:55,146 --> 00:05:57,482
I need to see
which one of these people
158
00:05:57,524 --> 00:06:01,820
have the skills
to be a chicken head.
159
00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:04,948
You want me to write down
people's indefinable qualities?
160
00:06:04,989 --> 00:06:05,990
I want you to write down everything
161
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,617
that people are doing
all day,
162
00:06:07,659 --> 00:06:10,161
and then type it up
in a way that is helpful.
163
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:11,663
All right?
164
00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,207
I have the most boring job
in the office,
165
00:06:14,249 --> 00:06:17,002
so why wouldn't I have
the most boring job
166
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:18,420
on beach day?
167
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:21,631
This way
to the par-tay bus.
168
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,598
There it is.
169
00:06:30,640 --> 00:06:33,393
Good.
170
00:06:33,435 --> 00:06:34,686
Um...
171
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,604
What the hell?
172
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:38,606
It's a bus
that takes you to a party.
173
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:40,025
Here we go.
174
00:06:40,066 --> 00:06:42,110
Um...
175
00:06:42,152 --> 00:06:44,112
I forgot my...
176
00:06:44,154 --> 00:06:45,238
sunblock.
177
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,365
There we go. Come on.
178
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:48,742
I just want to lie
on the beach
179
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:51,036
and eat hot dogs.
180
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:52,829
That's all I've ever wanted.
181
00:06:52,871 --> 00:06:54,664
Okay. Everybody here?
182
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,874
(all)
Yes.
183
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:57,542
Then, Mr. Driver,
184
00:06:57,584 --> 00:07:01,796
we are off
like a herd of turtles.
185
00:07:01,838 --> 00:07:03,965
Johnny Carson.
186
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,800
[bus engine turns over]
187
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:11,598
[smacks door]
188
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,897
Seatbelts fastened, folks.
189
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,440
Safety first.
190
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:21,858
Hey, what is all this?
191
00:07:21,900 --> 00:07:23,068
Nothing.
192
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:24,069
If I guess, will you tell me?
193
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,487
No.
Please?
194
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,780
No.
195
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:27,947
Is that a Sumo suit?
196
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,449
No.
I know.
197
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:30,950
We're putting on a play
for Japanese investors.
198
00:07:30,992 --> 00:07:32,160
No, we are not.
199
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:36,164
♪ So I handed him my bottle ♪
200
00:07:36,206 --> 00:07:39,000
♪ And he drank down
my last swallow ♪
201
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,544
♪ Then he bummed
a cigarette ♪
202
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:44,631
♪ And asked me for a light ♪
203
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,676
♪ And the night got
deathly quiet ♪
204
00:07:47,717 --> 00:07:50,762
♪ And his face lost
all expression ♪
205
00:07:50,804 --> 00:07:53,723
♪ Said if you're gonna
play the game, boy ♪
206
00:07:53,765 --> 00:07:56,768
♪ You gotta learn
to play it right ♪
207
00:07:56,810 --> 00:08:00,939
(all)
♪ You got to know when to hold 'em ♪
208
00:08:00,980 --> 00:08:04,150
♪ Know when to fold 'em ♪
209
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:07,112
♪ Know when to walk away ♪
210
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,155
♪ And know when to run ♪
211
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:11,574
♪ You never count
your money ♪
212
00:08:11,616 --> 00:08:12,784
Uh-huh.
213
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,787
♪ When you're sitting
at the table ♪
214
00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:20,291
♪ There'll be time enough
for counting ♪
215
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:24,004
♪ When the dealin's done ♪
216
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,965
Everybody, may I have
your attention, please?
217
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:32,470
Today we are not just
spending a day at the beach.
218
00:08:32,512 --> 00:08:34,597
Oh, sweet mother
of God.
219
00:08:34,639 --> 00:08:36,016
If you don't like it, Stanley,
220
00:08:36,057 --> 00:08:37,892
you can go to the back
of the bus. Excuse me?
221
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:41,021
Or the front of the bus,
or drive the bus.
222
00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,565
Just--
223
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:48,486
We are all participating
in mandatory fun activities.
224
00:08:49,738 --> 00:08:51,031
Funtivities!
225
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,992
And there is a special
secret prize for the winner.
226
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:55,535
Yes, funtivities!
227
00:08:55,577 --> 00:08:56,995
I knew it wasn't
just a trip to the beach.
228
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:58,246
Okay, you know what?
229
00:08:58,288 --> 00:09:00,165
Your enthusiasm
is turning people off.
230
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,000
I hope there will be
management parables.
231
00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,043
Well...
232
00:09:03,084 --> 00:09:04,711
[whispering]
Hey, Pam,
233
00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,171
did you get that down?
234
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,422
Like what?
235
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,591
Like everything I said,
and everything they did.
236
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,176
Just don't--
Well, no.
237
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:12,677
Write it down before
you forget it. I don't remember exactly--
238
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:13,636
That's--
239
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,889
You've just been
drawing pictures.
240
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,183
Rrrrr-rrrrr!
241
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,934
I can't stay mad
at you.
242
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:22,103
Can we please pull over
at the next rest stop?
243
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:25,231
No, we're only 10 minutes
from the lake.
244
00:09:25,273 --> 00:09:26,733
Pull over!
245
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:28,443
Pull over!
246
00:09:47,504 --> 00:09:50,965
This is an inflatable
Sumo suit.
247
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:54,594
[exhaling]
248
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,430
Now, in the olden days,
249
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,141
when they wanted to find a guy
who could be king,
250
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:02,435
they would have him
pull a sword
251
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,229
out of a stone.
252
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,399
Well, times have changed.
253
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,776
[exhaling]
254
00:10:09,818 --> 00:10:12,570
It's not even about
who is the best Sumo wrestler.
255
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,572
It's about
who is the best boss.
256
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:17,158
And I don't even care who wins.
257
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,453
[exhaling]
258
00:10:20,495 --> 00:10:22,664
It's how they wrestle
in a blow-up suit...
259
00:10:22,706 --> 00:10:24,666
[inhales] That will tell me
all I need to know.
260
00:10:24,708 --> 00:10:28,545
[exhaling]
261
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,631
And how...
262
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,299
Sumo...
263
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:38,138
(Michael)
Here we are, ladies and gentlemen.
264
00:10:38,179 --> 00:10:39,597
Everybody ready?
265
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,225
Last one down is
a rotten egg!
266
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,977
Watch out for snakes.
267
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:50,150
Everybody put on sunscreen.
All right...
268
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:51,985
find a cozy spot.
269
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,653
Everybody settle in.
270
00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:00,535
Okay, everybody up.
271
00:11:00,577 --> 00:11:03,121
Circle around.
272
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,539
Let us play some games.
273
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,667
We are situated
on the northeast corner
274
00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,545
of scenic Lake Scranton.
275
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:14,341
America's eight largest
indigenous body of water.
276
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:17,302
Originally a coal quarry,
277
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:20,055
today it is filled
with recycled water.
278
00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,139
Sounds environmental,
279
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:22,515
but you couldn't pay me
to drink it.
280
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:25,477
It is here that a group
of Americans
281
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,771
will undergo
the ultimate challenge.
282
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:32,317
One day, 14 strangers
who work together--
283
00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,777
but only one survivor.
284
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:34,819
What?
285
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,822
Just words--
inspiring words.
286
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:39,115
Not a contender.
287
00:11:39,157 --> 00:11:41,368
For the competitions,
you will be divided
288
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:42,786
into four tribes.
289
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:44,412
Each tribe will have
a leader
290
00:11:44,454 --> 00:11:46,748
that I will pick randomly
off the top of my head
291
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:47,999
without thinking.
292
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:51,503
Jim, Dwight, Andy,
and Stanley.
293
00:11:51,544 --> 00:11:53,088
Yes!
Choose your tribes.
294
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:56,049
Except for Pam.
Not Pam.
295
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,550
Jim Halpert.
296
00:11:57,592 --> 00:11:58,593
Karen.
(Michael) Pros:
297
00:11:58,635 --> 00:12:03,014
smart, cool,
good looking.
298
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,393
Remind you of anybody
you know?
299
00:12:06,434 --> 00:12:09,020
Cons:
not a hard worker.
300
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,731
I can spend all day
on a project,
301
00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:13,149
and he will finish
the same project
302
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,567
in a half an hour.
303
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,152
So that should
tell you something.
304
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,445
I choose Michael!
305
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,989
I'm not playing.
306
00:12:20,031 --> 00:12:21,574
Okay, temp.
307
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:25,578
Dwight is an obvious candidate
for my job.
308
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,415
He has the best sales record
in the office.
309
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,418
He loves the work.
310
00:12:31,459 --> 00:12:33,753
He is, however,
an idiot.
311
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,423
Which I fear may work
against him
312
00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:37,882
in a number of situations.
313
00:12:37,924 --> 00:12:39,926
We are going to choose
team names--Dwight.
314
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,594
We will be called Gryffindor.
315
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:42,971
Really?
Not Slytherin?
316
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,556
Slytherin are
the bad guys, Jim.
317
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:45,724
I know.
318
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:48,268
Okay, we will be Voldemort.
319
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:49,686
He who must not
be named?
320
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,021
I wouldn't do that.
321
00:12:51,062 --> 00:12:52,605
Voldemort.
322
00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,524
Okay, seriously...
Voldemort!
323
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:56,234
(all)
Voldemort, Voldemort... You really shouldn't be say--
324
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,485
Hey, hey, hey. Voldemort.
325
00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,112
Voldemort!
Idiots!
326
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,364
Okay, okay, Stanley,
your team name.
327
00:13:01,406 --> 00:13:03,199
I don't care
what you call my team.
328
00:13:03,241 --> 00:13:04,993
Just, please, try.
329
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:07,328
[sighs]
330
00:13:07,370 --> 00:13:08,371
I got nothing.
331
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,664
Okay, all right.
332
00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:11,458
Then I will name your team
the red team.
333
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,501
No, the blue team.
334
00:13:13,543 --> 00:13:16,296
I am also considering Stanley,
335
00:13:16,338 --> 00:13:20,258
because of all the good
that black people have done
336
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,594
for America.
337
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,429
We will be team U.S.A.
338
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:25,847
Very good.
339
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:27,724
Pam, please take a note
that Andy is patriotic.
340
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,768
Andy Bernard.
341
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:32,812
Pros:
he's classy, he gets me.
342
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:35,315
He went to Cornell.
343
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,816
I trust him.
344
00:13:36,858 --> 00:13:40,612
Cons:
I don't really trust him.
345
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:43,490
It is time for the great
spoon and egg race.
346
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,824
This one is with
a little twist.
347
00:13:44,866 --> 00:13:46,326
There's already a twist.
348
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:48,745
You're carrying an egg
on a spoon. Shh.
349
00:13:48,787 --> 00:13:51,664
The person carrying the egg
will be blindfolded.
350
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:52,749
Please put on
your blindfolds.
351
00:13:52,791 --> 00:13:54,250
That person
carrying the egg
352
00:13:54,292 --> 00:13:56,503
will go down, circle a torch,
come back,
353
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:58,838
deposit their egg
in the pail.
354
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,256
First team back
is the winner.
355
00:14:00,298 --> 00:14:01,299
Any questions?
356
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,425
Just one. Yeah.
357
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:03,677
Uh, the torches are lit.
358
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:05,303
Yes, for dramatic effect.
359
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,930
No, Michael.
360
00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:08,181
People are blindfolded.
361
00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:09,349
That's a hazard.
362
00:14:09,391 --> 00:14:11,434
Very good, Jim.
363
00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:13,353
Pam, please note
that Jim is very astute.
364
00:14:13,395 --> 00:14:14,521
All right.
365
00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,106
All right, ready...
366
00:14:16,147 --> 00:14:18,233
Oh, are you not gonna
put out the torches?
367
00:14:18,274 --> 00:14:20,110
Set--
Okay.
368
00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:21,111
Go!
369
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:24,030
Come on, Phyllis,
you can do it.
370
00:14:24,072 --> 00:14:25,448
Thank you so much.
371
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,534
Phyllis is out, yes!
Follow my voice.
372
00:14:27,575 --> 00:14:31,287
(Andy)
Yeah, keep it moving, keep it moving right this way.
373
00:14:31,329 --> 00:14:32,414
Looking good, whoo!
374
00:14:32,455 --> 00:14:33,540
I don't want to hit
the big rock.
375
00:14:33,581 --> 00:14:34,541
Don't worry,
you're not--
376
00:14:34,582 --> 00:14:35,709
I know I'm near
the big rock.
377
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:37,377
I just know it.
Nowhere near the big rock.
378
00:14:37,419 --> 00:14:39,546
What are you doing?
No!
379
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,714
[strained chuckle]
380
00:14:40,755 --> 00:14:43,091
See, now we're
disqualified.
381
00:14:43,133 --> 00:14:47,971
I am okay if I lose
every single contest today.
382
00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:49,931
Honestly.
383
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:55,645
Because I see these contests
as an opportunity for me
384
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,064
to demonstrate
what a good sport I am.
385
00:14:58,106 --> 00:14:59,733
Mallard.
386
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:01,317
[duck quacks
and takes flight]
387
00:15:01,359 --> 00:15:02,485
Whoa, stop, stop, stop--
there's a hole.
388
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:03,445
Just step over the hole.
389
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,863
A hole?
Yep.
390
00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:06,656
(Dwight)
Come on, lazy bones, move it!
391
00:15:06,698 --> 00:15:08,408
Perfect.
Ooh, just made it.
392
00:15:08,450 --> 00:15:09,576
Okay, turn left.
393
00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:10,910
Come on, andale,
arriba, arriba.
394
00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:11,870
You have to stop this
right now,
395
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,163
or I'm not gonna
do this anymore.
396
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:14,706
What are you saying?
397
00:15:14,748 --> 00:15:15,957
You have to stop yelling at me,
or I'm not go do the egg race.
398
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:17,250
Okay, I apologize
for yelling at you.
399
00:15:17,292 --> 00:15:18,585
That's what being
a good captain is about.
400
00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:20,420
I'm trying to bring
team spirit.
401
00:15:20,462 --> 00:15:21,588
Whoa, stop--
another hole.
402
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,173
Take a big step.
403
00:15:23,214 --> 00:15:25,091
Yes!
404
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:26,259
Oh, my God!
405
00:15:26,301 --> 00:15:27,719
You ass!
406
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:29,721
[Jim and Karen laughing]
407
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:31,806
(Pam)
There's nothing better than a beautiful day at the beach,
408
00:15:31,848 --> 00:15:37,103
filled with sun, surf,
and, uh, diligent note taking.
409
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,190
(Michael)
Pam, you're missing things.
410
00:15:51,910 --> 00:15:53,745
(Dwight)
Let's go! Let's go!
411
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:55,663
Come on, mush!
412
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:57,540
Mush!
Come on, you bastard!
413
00:15:57,582 --> 00:15:59,584
What the--
414
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,002
Damn it, temp!
415
00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:03,838
Great job, everyone.
416
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:06,466
That was fantastic.
417
00:16:06,508 --> 00:16:08,343
[sighs]
418
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:11,137
My strategy is
to compliment everybody
419
00:16:11,179 --> 00:16:13,181
and just generally have
a good time.
420
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:20,647
That way, they'll remember me
as a good sport...
421
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,482
which I will use
to my advantage
422
00:16:22,524 --> 00:16:25,485
in a contest I care enough
about to cheat in.
423
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:28,697
Okay, Pam, I have another
little project for you.
424
00:16:28,738 --> 00:16:29,864
Does it have to do
with these shopping bags
425
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:30,824
filled with hot dogs?
426
00:16:30,865 --> 00:16:31,866
Smart as a whip.
427
00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:33,910
Yes, these are precooked,
428
00:16:33,952 --> 00:16:35,620
so it's not absolutely necessary,
429
00:16:35,662 --> 00:16:38,248
but I would appreciate it if
you could heat up 800 hot dogs
430
00:16:38,289 --> 00:16:40,458
for a little contest
I'm going to be having.
431
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,419
I would greatly
appreciate it.
432
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,420
When's the contest?
433
00:16:43,461 --> 00:16:45,296
Like, um,
ten minutes.
434
00:16:45,338 --> 00:16:48,341
How am I supposed to get--
Thanks a bunch.
435
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,263
A good manager
has got to be hungry.
436
00:16:53,304 --> 00:16:55,932
Hungry for success.
437
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:57,434
[sighs] Okay.
438
00:16:57,475 --> 00:16:59,644
Pam, who came out best in the
race, in your opinion?
439
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:00,854
Um...
440
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,230
Karen left her blindfold
on the longest,
441
00:17:02,272 --> 00:17:03,857
but she also threw her egg
at Jim.
442
00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,567
Because he wasn't
following the rules.
443
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:06,651
I think they were
just having fun.
444
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:09,571
But they didn't complete
their task, Pam.
445
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:13,241
If people can't carry an egg in
a spoon blindfolded,
446
00:17:13,283 --> 00:17:14,868
then what does that tell you
about how they will be able
447
00:17:14,909 --> 00:17:16,745
to manage a sales report
448
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,371
or conduct a business call?
449
00:17:18,413 --> 00:17:20,206
It tells me nothing.
450
00:17:20,248 --> 00:17:22,042
Exactly.
451
00:17:22,083 --> 00:17:23,877
Are you sure you're
doing that right?
452
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:24,919
Taking an awfully long time.
453
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,504
There's 800 of them.
454
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,922
Okay. All right.
455
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,842
Okay, who's hungry?
No, no, no.
456
00:17:30,884 --> 00:17:33,094
Do not touch the food,
please, not yet.
457
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:36,681
That is our next event--
a hot dog eating contest.
458
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,725
[disappointed groans]
For those of you who are curious,
459
00:17:38,767 --> 00:17:43,271
the world record
is 54 1/2 hot dogs.
460
00:17:43,313 --> 00:17:44,481
Wow!
461
00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,607
And you know what?
462
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,650
I personally have
cooked up enough
463
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,735
so that each
and every one of you
464
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,111
could break that record.
465
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:51,738
So shoot for the stars, okay?
466
00:17:51,780 --> 00:17:54,616
All right, the team that eats
the most hot dogs in ten minutes
467
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:56,493
will be declared
the winner.
468
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,745
On your mark,
get set--
469
00:17:58,787 --> 00:17:59,871
Can I have
a turkey burger?
470
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,915
No, I have the only one.
471
00:18:01,956 --> 00:18:03,249
I claimed it.
Ready?
472
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:04,584
(Oscar)
Turkey is a healthy meat.
473
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:06,044
[all assenting]
474
00:18:06,086 --> 00:18:07,128
I don't eat meat, Michael.
475
00:18:07,170 --> 00:18:08,755
I'm not gonna eat this.
476
00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:10,090
Guys, guys, come on.
477
00:18:10,131 --> 00:18:12,967
Please, let's just--okay.
478
00:18:13,009 --> 00:18:15,095
It's very important
that you all try to eat
479
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:16,262
as many hot dogs
as you can.
480
00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:17,681
Hot dogs are really unhealthy.
481
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,475
Son of a bitch.
God! Okay.
482
00:18:20,517 --> 00:18:22,560
All right, you know what?
Here we go.
483
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,230
On your mark, get set,
484
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,147
eat!
485
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:27,691
Is there any mustard?
486
00:18:27,732 --> 00:18:29,192
No mustard, no mustard.
487
00:18:29,234 --> 00:18:31,611
Just eat it--
eat it, Phyllis.
488
00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:32,987
Dip it in the water
489
00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:33,988
so it'll slide down
your gullet more easily.
490
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:35,240
(all)
That's what she said.
491
00:18:35,281 --> 00:18:37,617
No, no! Not that--
come on, you guys.
492
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,160
Let's do it.
I'm serious.
493
00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,286
[sighs]
494
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,913
Come on, the winner gets
a big, big prize.
495
00:18:41,955 --> 00:18:43,915
What is it?
I can't say.
496
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,959
You can't say,
or you can't pronounce it?
497
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:47,961
The winner gets
a regional manager's salary
498
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:50,171
for a year,
and a Sebring, and the feeling
499
00:18:50,213 --> 00:18:51,881
that they are making
a difference in the world.
500
00:18:51,923 --> 00:18:53,258
Can we just take
those first two things?
501
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,969
The winner of today
gets my job.
502
00:18:57,929 --> 00:18:59,514
Okay?
503
00:18:59,556 --> 00:19:01,683
I'm interviewing for a job
at corporate.
504
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,768
And they're only interviewing
a handful of people,
505
00:19:03,810 --> 00:19:06,855
and I'm the most qualified,
and I'll probably get it.
506
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:07,981
All right?
507
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:09,858
You're leaving?
508
00:19:09,899 --> 00:19:11,359
I didn't want
to tell anybody.
509
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:13,737
I didn't want to cast a pall
over our fun beach day.
510
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:15,864
But you know what,
I don't know who to recommend,
511
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,742
because, frankly,
nobody is stepping up.
512
00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,201
I am so hungry!
513
00:19:20,243 --> 00:19:21,911
Do you expect me
to believe
514
00:19:21,953 --> 00:19:23,580
that you're truly
making your recommendations
515
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:24,956
on this basis?
516
00:19:24,998 --> 00:19:26,624
Word.
517
00:19:29,044 --> 00:19:31,588
There we go.
Let's see it.
518
00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:33,465
I would rather work
for an upturned broom
519
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:34,674
with a bucket for a head
520
00:19:34,716 --> 00:19:36,676
than work for somebody else
in this office
521
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,303
besides myself.
522
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:39,429
Game on.
523
00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:40,930
Let's see who's hungry.
Come on!
524
00:19:40,972 --> 00:19:42,682
Who's got the hungry?
[muffled noises]
525
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,059
Come on, Ryan.
Let's go.
526
00:19:44,100 --> 00:19:45,810
Ryan, I wanna see you with
a hot dog in your mouth.
527
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,562
Right now.
[muffled groan]
528
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:48,521
Come on. Let's do this.
529
00:19:48,563 --> 00:19:50,190
[muffled yell]
530
00:19:50,231 --> 00:19:51,566
(Michael)
Stuff it in your face. Stuff it in your face.
531
00:19:52,525 --> 00:19:53,985
That's gross.
532
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:55,528
(Jim)
Karen and I are having our own contest...
533
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,531
to see who can eat
the most normal amount
534
00:19:58,573 --> 00:20:00,283
of tuna salad
in an unspecified,
535
00:20:00,325 --> 00:20:01,951
but comfortable amount of time,
536
00:20:01,993 --> 00:20:02,869
and right now,
I'd say we're tied.
537
00:20:02,911 --> 00:20:04,079
Dead heat.
538
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,914
(Andy)
Keep eatin' tuna, Big Tuna!
539
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:09,084
Loser!
540
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,710
He's gonna throw up.
541
00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,045
Four seconds,
542
00:20:12,087 --> 00:20:14,547
three, two, one.
543
00:20:14,589 --> 00:20:17,008
Stop!
No eating!
544
00:20:17,050 --> 00:20:19,219
And the winner is
Andy Bernard,
545
00:20:19,260 --> 00:20:22,472
with 14 hot dogs.
Team U.S.A.!
546
00:20:22,514 --> 00:20:23,306
One came up.
547
00:20:23,348 --> 00:20:24,891
13 hot dogs, everybody.
548
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,268
Damn it!
549
00:20:27,310 --> 00:20:29,646
Aw, nobody told me
we were gonna nave hot dogs.
550
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,237
[whispering]
Sabotage.
551
00:20:37,278 --> 00:20:39,572
What?
What are you saying?
552
00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:40,657
Did you say sandwich?
553
00:20:40,699 --> 00:20:42,409
No, I was saying
that before.
554
00:20:42,450 --> 00:20:46,579
Not now.
Now I am saying... sabotage.
555
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:47,789
The ancient Dutch art
556
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:50,875
of screwing up
your own team.
557
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,003
I knew you were saying sabotage.
558
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,797
I was giving you
an example of it.
559
00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,633
I will misunderstand
everything that Andy says
560
00:20:58,675 --> 00:21:01,469
until he goes insane.
561
00:21:01,511 --> 00:21:03,805
If Michael organizes
some kind of group hug,
562
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,098
stand next to me.
563
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:06,558
I want to win.
564
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:09,644
I want to win more
than I want to breathe.
565
00:21:09,686 --> 00:21:12,605
And I love breathing
more than life itself.
566
00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:14,149
It is an honor
567
00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,276
just to be considered
568
00:21:16,317 --> 00:21:18,111
for Michael's job.
569
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:19,988
Honestly.
570
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,614
And if I win it,
571
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:26,286
then I will be ordering
a pretty sizeable
572
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:30,165
Most Improved Player plaque...
573
00:21:30,206 --> 00:21:32,375
to put over the hole
I punched in the wall.
574
00:21:35,128 --> 00:21:36,963
I think Jim would be
a good boss.
575
00:21:37,005 --> 00:21:38,757
Plus, he's eye candy.
576
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:42,552
It's okay. Bob Vance knows
he's on my list.
577
00:21:42,594 --> 00:21:44,971
George Clooney,
Leonardo DiCaprio,
578
00:21:45,013 --> 00:21:46,681
Jim,
579
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:49,976
and that British guy that got
in trouble with the prostitute.
580
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:52,020
Oh, I'm out of it.
581
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:53,271
Let's face it:
582
00:21:53,313 --> 00:21:55,732
the hot dog eating contest
was my best shot.
583
00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:59,110
It's very simple,
there are only three rules.
584
00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,488
You must not touch
the ground,
585
00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:04,115
you must not step outside
of the ring,
586
00:22:04,157 --> 00:22:07,994
and you must always wear
the safety mittens.
587
00:22:08,036 --> 00:22:09,871
What safety mittens?
We don't have any safety mittens.
588
00:22:09,913 --> 00:22:11,373
I probably left them
in the trunk of my car.
589
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:12,624
It's all right,
here we go.
590
00:22:12,665 --> 00:22:14,501
Go get 'em, big boy!
591
00:22:14,542 --> 00:22:17,379
And go!
592
00:22:17,420 --> 00:22:18,588
(Karen)
Come on, Jim!
593
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:19,631
Rrrrrrrrrrr!
594
00:22:19,673 --> 00:22:20,840
Whoa,
what are you doing?
595
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:23,218
Come on!
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
596
00:22:23,259 --> 00:22:24,719
[cheering]
597
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,096
(Michael)
Nice, Stanley!
598
00:22:26,137 --> 00:22:28,139
Sorry about that.
599
00:22:28,181 --> 00:22:30,016
It's all about taking points
away from Dwight.
600
00:22:30,058 --> 00:22:32,227
Yeah, no, good, okay.
601
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:36,064
Oh, my God...
I have never seen that look
602
00:22:36,106 --> 00:22:38,400
in a man's eyes ever.
603
00:22:38,441 --> 00:22:42,028
I thought that
I might die.
604
00:22:42,070 --> 00:22:43,446
On beach day.
605
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:47,784
(Michael)
Ready... go!
606
00:22:48,952 --> 00:22:50,578
Come on!
Come on, Dwight.
607
00:22:50,620 --> 00:22:51,871
Come on!
608
00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:54,082
The guy who sits behind me
and the guy who sits
609
00:22:54,124 --> 00:22:55,250
across from me are fighting
610
00:22:55,291 --> 00:22:58,003
to see who becomes my boss.
[laughs]
611
00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:01,089
[yells]
612
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:02,215
Yeah!
613
00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:03,425
Whoo!
614
00:23:03,466 --> 00:23:05,927
Yeah! Eat sand,
you fat old man!
615
00:23:05,969 --> 00:23:08,096
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
616
00:23:08,138 --> 00:23:10,473
[cheering]
617
00:23:13,852 --> 00:23:15,645
Come on!
Come on!
618
00:23:15,687 --> 00:23:17,605
(Oscar)
If either of these guys are put in charge of the office,
619
00:23:17,647 --> 00:23:18,606
I will transfer to Albany.
620
00:23:18,648 --> 00:23:20,358
Gil can come if he wants.
621
00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:21,443
I'm kind of looking
for a way out
622
00:23:21,484 --> 00:23:22,777
of that relationship anyway.
623
00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:25,572
I think I might try girls
for a while.
624
00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,033
Angela thinks
I can cross over.
625
00:23:28,074 --> 00:23:29,034
We'll see.
626
00:23:29,075 --> 00:23:30,869
Aah!
627
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:31,828
One, two, three!
628
00:23:31,870 --> 00:23:34,289
Yeah! Yeah!
629
00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:35,290
(Michael)
Excellent.
630
00:23:35,331 --> 00:23:36,958
Gryffindor!
631
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:38,877
Gryffindor!
632
00:23:38,918 --> 00:23:41,254
I didn't win.
633
00:23:41,296 --> 00:23:42,797
But the only reason
I didn't win is
634
00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:44,758
because I recently learned
that it's better
635
00:23:44,799 --> 00:23:46,551
to work things out
with words.
636
00:23:46,593 --> 00:23:48,136
That's not why
you lost.
637
00:23:48,178 --> 00:23:49,512
Yeah, it is.
638
00:23:49,554 --> 00:23:51,139
I totally could have
kicked your butt so bad.
639
00:23:51,181 --> 00:23:52,932
Oh, yeah, right.
Yeah, right!
640
00:23:52,974 --> 00:23:54,893
Yeah, right.
Come on!
641
00:23:54,934 --> 00:23:58,188
Unh!
Unh!
642
00:23:58,229 --> 00:24:00,190
Aah!
643
00:24:00,231 --> 00:24:01,358
How do you like that?
644
00:24:11,701 --> 00:24:13,328
Oh, God--
645
00:24:13,370 --> 00:24:16,206
Aah! Help!
646
00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:17,957
Help!
647
00:24:17,999 --> 00:24:20,251
Angela--
Angela, hey!
648
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:22,379
Oh, thank God.
Go tell somebody.
649
00:24:22,420 --> 00:24:24,464
What, Andy?
650
00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:25,715
Andy,
what should I tell them?
651
00:24:25,757 --> 00:24:28,426
Go tell them
I'm floating away, obviously!
652
00:24:28,468 --> 00:24:31,012
I don't understand
what you want from me.
653
00:24:31,054 --> 00:24:32,764
Angela,
it's pretty simple.
654
00:24:32,806 --> 00:24:36,184
Look at what I'm doing,
and go tell somebody it!
655
00:24:36,226 --> 00:24:38,687
Sorry.
Aah--
656
00:24:38,728 --> 00:24:40,397
Bye, Andy.
657
00:24:40,438 --> 00:24:42,023
Angela!
658
00:24:42,065 --> 00:24:44,776
I knew that finding a successor
would be difficult.
659
00:24:44,818 --> 00:24:47,821
I did not know that
it would be impossible.
660
00:24:47,862 --> 00:24:51,449
Thus far, the candidates
have been wildly disappointing.
661
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:53,535
Uh, Jim is not
taking it seriously,
662
00:24:53,576 --> 00:24:55,537
uh, Stanley
is having a stroke,
663
00:24:55,578 --> 00:24:57,122
and Andy--where is he?
664
00:24:57,163 --> 00:24:59,040
Where the hell is Andy?
665
00:24:59,082 --> 00:25:00,875
Where is he, Pam?
666
00:25:00,917 --> 00:25:02,669
Do you know?
667
00:25:02,711 --> 00:25:03,586
[sighs]
668
00:25:03,628 --> 00:25:04,838
Who's ahead in points?
669
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,339
I think they're even.
670
00:25:06,381 --> 00:25:09,384
At various times,
you gave Jim ten points,
671
00:25:09,426 --> 00:25:12,887
Dwight a gold star,
and Stanley a thumbs up.
672
00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:14,597
And I don't really know how
to compare those units.
673
00:25:14,639 --> 00:25:16,474
Well, check to see
if there's a conversion chart
674
00:25:16,516 --> 00:25:17,851
in that notebook.
675
00:25:17,892 --> 00:25:20,770
I really doubt it, Michael.
Please just check.
676
00:25:20,812 --> 00:25:21,813
Great.
677
00:25:21,855 --> 00:25:23,732
Yeah, I'll see you
next week.
678
00:25:23,773 --> 00:25:24,607
Thank you.
679
00:25:24,649 --> 00:25:26,067
And here is
Karen Filipelli.
680
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:28,236
Bye.
681
00:25:28,278 --> 00:25:29,904
Hello?
682
00:25:29,946 --> 00:25:32,115
Yeah, hi, David.
683
00:25:32,157 --> 00:25:33,658
Yes, I would like
to be considered
684
00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:35,243
for the corporate position
in well.
685
00:25:35,285 --> 00:25:37,203
"In well?"
As well.
686
00:25:37,245 --> 00:25:39,748
How would that work--
in well?
687
00:25:39,789 --> 00:25:41,708
I just want to know.
Yes, uh-huh.
688
00:25:41,750 --> 00:25:43,918
Wait a minute...
That would be fine.
689
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,045
this job is in a well.
690
00:25:45,086 --> 00:25:46,379
I don't want it.
Cut it out!
691
00:25:46,421 --> 00:25:47,756
I don't.
692
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:52,635
What does a great manager need
most of all?
693
00:25:52,677 --> 00:25:53,678
Courage.
694
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,805
How so?
695
00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:58,433
I mean, sure thing,
that sounds smart.
696
00:25:58,475 --> 00:26:00,018
I can't do this anymore.
697
00:26:00,060 --> 00:26:01,603
I'm going to sit
in the bus.
698
00:26:01,644 --> 00:26:03,813
Your loss, Stanley.
699
00:26:03,855 --> 00:26:07,025
Meanwhile, the rest of us
will have a super-fun time
700
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,610
defeating our fear,
701
00:26:08,651 --> 00:26:11,112
and creating
a lasting memory...
702
00:26:11,154 --> 00:26:15,867
walking through fire!
703
00:26:15,909 --> 00:26:18,578
[fire crackling]
704
00:26:22,123 --> 00:26:24,501
Who among you has the guts
to replace me?
705
00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:28,838
Let him walk across
these coals.
706
00:26:32,550 --> 00:26:34,344
Are you gonna try it?
No.
707
00:26:34,386 --> 00:26:35,637
I'm not gonna walk
in a fire
708
00:26:35,679 --> 00:26:37,514
after your disgusting feet
have gone through.
709
00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:40,975
Angela, it is
a million degrees.
710
00:26:41,017 --> 00:26:43,019
I'm gonna do it.
711
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:45,271
And I fully expect
to burn my feet
712
00:26:45,313 --> 00:26:46,856
and go to the hospital.
713
00:26:46,898 --> 00:26:51,361
That's the right spirit
when doing a coal walk, right?
714
00:26:51,403 --> 00:26:53,029
No, no, not you, Pam.
715
00:26:53,071 --> 00:26:54,197
You have to keep score.
716
00:26:54,239 --> 00:26:55,782
I'd like to try. Pointless.
717
00:26:55,824 --> 00:26:57,617
But I'm not kidding.
[speaking gibberish] Okay?
718
00:26:57,659 --> 00:26:59,703
This is about guts.
719
00:26:59,744 --> 00:27:03,081
It takes guts to be
a regional manager.
720
00:27:03,123 --> 00:27:04,499
Jim, you're up.
721
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:06,001
Nope.
722
00:27:06,042 --> 00:27:07,752
Ju--why not?
Come on.
723
00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:10,505
Oh, 'cause I don't want
my feet to get burned.
724
00:27:12,465 --> 00:27:14,384
You do not have
what it takes
725
00:27:14,426 --> 00:27:15,927
to be a regional manager.
726
00:27:15,969 --> 00:27:17,387
That's harsh.
727
00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:18,430
Who's next?
728
00:27:18,471 --> 00:27:20,140
Andy.
Where's Andy?
729
00:27:20,181 --> 00:27:22,559
Andy is never here today.
730
00:27:25,270 --> 00:27:27,564
Hello?
Who's there?
731
00:27:27,605 --> 00:27:29,524
My name is Andrew Bernard.
732
00:27:29,566 --> 00:27:32,027
I was with a group
called Dunder-Mifflin.
733
00:27:34,446 --> 00:27:36,031
Hello?
734
00:27:37,449 --> 00:27:38,825
Michael, since Andy isn't here,
735
00:27:38,867 --> 00:27:40,326
maybe I could be
a team captain.
736
00:27:40,368 --> 00:27:41,453
You?
737
00:27:41,494 --> 00:27:42,746
You haven't made a sale.
738
00:27:42,787 --> 00:27:44,622
I know, but I'd like
to give this a try.
739
00:27:44,664 --> 00:27:47,000
Don't try to flirt
your way into this.
740
00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:48,752
Sometimes you really
creep me out.
741
00:27:50,170 --> 00:27:51,463
Okay.
742
00:27:51,504 --> 00:27:53,465
Will you walk
across the coals?
743
00:27:53,506 --> 00:27:54,549
No.
744
00:27:54,591 --> 00:27:55,592
Worthless.
745
00:27:55,633 --> 00:27:57,260
You go, Michael.
746
00:27:57,302 --> 00:27:58,928
Because I already did.
747
00:27:58,970 --> 00:28:00,096
Remember?
748
00:28:00,138 --> 00:28:03,266
I burned my foot
on the George Foreman grill.
749
00:28:03,308 --> 00:28:05,727
That is not the same
at all.
750
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,145
If you're gonna ask
other people to do it,
751
00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:08,646
you should do it yourself.
752
00:28:08,688 --> 00:28:09,898
All right,
okay, all right.
753
00:28:09,939 --> 00:28:11,232
I'll do it.
754
00:28:13,651 --> 00:28:15,445
Okay.
755
00:28:15,487 --> 00:28:17,947
[clears throat]
756
00:28:17,989 --> 00:28:19,657
Okay.
757
00:28:28,083 --> 00:28:32,962
The mind has
to wrap around...
758
00:28:33,004 --> 00:28:34,547
the foot.
759
00:28:51,648 --> 00:28:52,982
Okay.
760
00:28:56,820 --> 00:28:58,697
(Oscar)
You're not doing anything.
761
00:28:58,738 --> 00:29:00,490
You want us
to count to three?
762
00:29:00,532 --> 00:29:02,534
Yes, count to three, please.
763
00:29:02,575 --> 00:29:05,286
(all)
Three, two, one.
764
00:29:05,328 --> 00:29:06,454
Count the other way.
Count--
765
00:29:06,496 --> 00:29:07,664
No, no,
count one, two, three.
766
00:29:07,706 --> 00:29:08,665
Not three, two, one.
767
00:29:08,707 --> 00:29:12,669
(all)
One, two, three.
768
00:29:12,711 --> 00:29:14,170
Go, Michael.
Do it.
769
00:29:14,212 --> 00:29:16,297
Wait, am I going on "go,"
or am I going on "three"?
770
00:29:16,339 --> 00:29:18,341
On the go
that's after three.
771
00:29:18,383 --> 00:29:19,509
Okay.
772
00:29:19,551 --> 00:29:23,638
(all)
One, two, three, go!
773
00:29:31,062 --> 00:29:32,230
No!
774
00:29:32,272 --> 00:29:33,481
It's okay.
775
00:29:33,523 --> 00:29:34,649
I will do this, Michael.
776
00:29:34,691 --> 00:29:35,900
(Ryan)
Don't, Dwight.
777
00:29:35,942 --> 00:29:38,528
I will walk and stand
on these coals
778
00:29:38,570 --> 00:29:40,363
until you award me
the position
779
00:29:40,405 --> 00:29:42,032
of regional manager!
780
00:29:44,409 --> 00:29:45,952
[light applause]
Wow.
781
00:29:47,412 --> 00:29:48,997
Dwight.
Dwight.
782
00:29:49,039 --> 00:29:50,540
Aaah!
783
00:29:50,582 --> 00:29:51,541
Ow.
Get off there.
784
00:29:51,583 --> 00:29:53,043
Get off, get off.
785
00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:54,377
Give me the job!
786
00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:55,545
Give me the job!
787
00:29:55,587 --> 00:29:56,588
I'm not going
to give it to you.
788
00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:58,381
Ow, oh!
789
00:29:58,423 --> 00:30:00,091
[all shouting at once]
Don't kneel on the coals!
790
00:30:00,133 --> 00:30:01,509
[alarmed shouts]
791
00:30:01,551 --> 00:30:03,428
(Pam)
Michael, do something!
792
00:30:03,470 --> 00:30:06,097
God, that stinks!
793
00:30:07,265 --> 00:30:10,560
Being a boss is also
about image.
794
00:30:10,602 --> 00:30:13,438
I've never looked
like that.
795
00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:15,899
That was gross.
796
00:30:25,700 --> 00:30:27,243
Wait!
797
00:30:30,622 --> 00:30:32,290
I just--I don't see
the connection
798
00:30:32,332 --> 00:30:35,710
between a fire walk
and management.
799
00:30:35,752 --> 00:30:37,462
Worst 75 bucks
I ever spent.
800
00:30:37,504 --> 00:30:39,422
You know what?
801
00:30:39,464 --> 00:30:40,757
If I had to pick
my replacement
802
00:30:40,799 --> 00:30:42,550
based on today,
803
00:30:42,592 --> 00:30:45,220
it would be
Mr. Outside Hire.
804
00:30:45,261 --> 00:30:46,888
Or Mrs. Outside Hire.
805
00:30:46,930 --> 00:30:49,891
Yeah, mm-hmm, true.
806
00:30:49,933 --> 00:30:51,267
Look, I don't--
807
00:30:51,309 --> 00:30:54,646
I don't want to leave
this branch that I love
808
00:30:54,688 --> 00:30:56,064
to an outside hire.
809
00:30:56,106 --> 00:30:58,775
Therefore,
we're going to have
810
00:30:58,817 --> 00:31:01,820
a 100-point,
winner-take-all,
811
00:31:01,861 --> 00:31:04,989
sudden-death
tribal council round
812
00:31:05,031 --> 00:31:08,702
to test the aspect
of my job
813
00:31:08,743 --> 00:31:09,953
that I think is
the most important.
814
00:31:09,994 --> 00:31:12,997
Something I call
the Bob Hope factor.
815
00:31:13,039 --> 00:31:15,542
Who's Bob Hope?
God!
816
00:31:15,583 --> 00:31:17,711
He's a,
he's a comedian.
817
00:31:17,752 --> 00:31:19,295
Oh, like Amanda Bynes.
818
00:31:19,337 --> 00:31:20,630
Who's Amanda Bynes?
819
00:31:20,672 --> 00:31:22,340
She's from What a Girl Wants.
820
00:31:22,382 --> 00:31:23,967
Oh, I love that movie.
821
00:31:24,009 --> 00:31:25,969
Yes, Kelly is right.
822
00:31:26,011 --> 00:31:27,971
The person
to replace me
823
00:31:28,013 --> 00:31:31,224
has to have
a great sense of humor.
824
00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:34,686
And they have to possess
the leadership qualities
825
00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:36,688
of a Bynes or a Hope.
826
00:31:36,730 --> 00:31:39,024
[fire crackling]
827
00:31:42,027 --> 00:31:44,612
So without further ado,
828
00:31:44,654 --> 00:31:48,533
Jim and Dwight...
829
00:31:48,575 --> 00:31:50,118
show us what you've got.
830
00:31:51,745 --> 00:31:53,830
Hey, I know what
you're looking for,
831
00:31:53,872 --> 00:31:56,666
but I gotta be honest.
832
00:31:56,708 --> 00:31:57,917
I really don't think
I should be considered
833
00:31:57,959 --> 00:31:59,669
as your replacement.
834
00:31:59,711 --> 00:32:02,005
You are being too modest.
835
00:32:02,047 --> 00:32:03,965
Michael, on Thursday,
I'm gonna drive down
836
00:32:04,007 --> 00:32:07,385
and interview with David for
the open position in New York.
837
00:32:09,721 --> 00:32:13,600
Okay, that is not funny.
838
00:32:13,641 --> 00:32:16,519
I am deducting 60 points
839
00:32:16,561 --> 00:32:18,104
from Voldemort
840
00:32:18,146 --> 00:32:19,898
for false pretenses.
841
00:32:19,939 --> 00:32:22,400
Okay, Dwight, your turn.
Wow us.
842
00:32:23,943 --> 00:32:25,153
The Aristocrats.
843
00:32:25,195 --> 00:32:27,989
A man and his wife
and children
844
00:32:28,031 --> 00:32:29,908
go into the offices
of a talent agency.
845
00:32:29,949 --> 00:32:32,077
[crackling]
846
00:32:35,205 --> 00:32:40,001
And the talent agent says,
"Describe your act."
847
00:32:40,043 --> 00:32:44,422
And the man says something
really, really raunchy.
848
00:32:44,464 --> 00:32:46,466
And the talent representative says,
849
00:32:46,508 --> 00:32:48,635
"What do you call
yourselves?"
850
00:32:48,677 --> 00:32:51,805
And the man says,
"The Aristocrats."
851
00:32:54,808 --> 00:32:56,142
Ooh, ah!
852
00:32:56,184 --> 00:32:57,268
Whew!
853
00:32:57,310 --> 00:32:59,854
Ho ho!
854
00:32:59,896 --> 00:33:01,231
[sighs]
855
00:33:01,272 --> 00:33:03,983
(Dwight)
I mean, truly repulsive acts.
856
00:33:04,025 --> 00:33:06,361
That is a very,
very funny story.
857
00:33:06,403 --> 00:33:09,948
Hey, I want
to say something.
858
00:33:09,989 --> 00:33:11,950
I've been trying to be
more honest lately,
859
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:13,910
and I just need to say
a few things.
860
00:33:13,952 --> 00:33:14,953
I did the coal walk.
861
00:33:14,994 --> 00:33:16,913
Just, I did it.
862
00:33:16,955 --> 00:33:19,207
Michael, you couldn't even
do that.
863
00:33:19,249 --> 00:33:21,459
Maybe I should be
your boss.
864
00:33:23,211 --> 00:33:27,090
Wow, I feel really good
right now.
865
00:33:27,132 --> 00:33:29,426
Why didn't any of you come
to my art show?
866
00:33:29,467 --> 00:33:31,428
[frogs croaking]
867
00:33:31,469 --> 00:33:32,554
I invited all of you.
868
00:33:32,595 --> 00:33:34,973
That really sucked.
869
00:33:35,015 --> 00:33:36,433
It's like sometimes
some of you act
870
00:33:36,474 --> 00:33:37,851
like I don't even exist.
871
00:33:43,148 --> 00:33:45,859
Jim, I called off my wedding
because of you.
872
00:33:45,900 --> 00:33:48,445
And now we're
not even friends.
873
00:33:48,486 --> 00:33:50,989
And things are just, like,
weird between us,
874
00:33:51,031 --> 00:33:52,782
and that sucks.
875
00:33:52,824 --> 00:33:55,160
And I miss you.
876
00:33:55,201 --> 00:33:58,496
You were my best friend
before you went to Stamford.
877
00:33:58,538 --> 00:34:00,290
And I really miss you.
878
00:34:01,958 --> 00:34:04,210
I shouldn't have been
with Roy.
879
00:34:04,252 --> 00:34:08,006
There were a lot of reasons
to call off my wedding,
880
00:34:08,048 --> 00:34:09,799
but the truth is
I didn't care about
881
00:34:09,841 --> 00:34:11,343
any of those reasons
until I met you.
882
00:34:11,384 --> 00:34:13,595
And now you're
with someone else.
883
00:34:13,636 --> 00:34:14,929
And that's fine.
884
00:34:14,971 --> 00:34:16,973
It's whatever--
885
00:34:17,015 --> 00:34:17,932
that's not what I'm--
886
00:34:17,974 --> 00:34:19,100
I'm not--
887
00:34:19,142 --> 00:34:20,435
Okay, my feet
really hurt.
888
00:34:20,477 --> 00:34:21,853
The thing that
I'm just trying
889
00:34:21,895 --> 00:34:23,480
to say to you, Jim,
890
00:34:23,521 --> 00:34:27,150
and to everyone else
in the circle, I guess,
891
00:34:27,192 --> 00:34:29,110
is that I miss
having fun with you.
892
00:34:30,528 --> 00:34:33,323
Just you, not everyone
in the circle.
893
00:34:36,326 --> 00:34:40,080
Okay, I am gonna go walk
in the water now.
894
00:34:41,539 --> 00:34:45,085
Yeah, it's a good day.
895
00:34:46,586 --> 00:34:49,798
Pam, that was amazing.
896
00:34:49,839 --> 00:34:51,841
But I am still looking
for someone
897
00:34:51,883 --> 00:34:53,885
with a sales background.
898
00:34:59,307 --> 00:35:00,558
♪ Flintstones
meet the Flintstones ♪
899
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:03,269
♪ They're a modern
Stone Age family ♪
900
00:35:03,311 --> 00:35:07,232
♪ From the town
of Bedrock ♪
901
00:35:07,273 --> 00:35:10,110
♪ They're a page
right out of history ♪
902
00:35:10,151 --> 00:35:11,653
(Michael)
♪ Ba da ba da ba ♪
903
00:35:11,695 --> 00:35:13,905
♪ Let's ride with the family
down the street ♪
904
00:35:13,947 --> 00:35:15,407
♪ Ba da ba da ♪
905
00:35:15,448 --> 00:35:17,200
♪ Through the courtesy
of Fred's two feet ♪
906
00:35:17,242 --> 00:35:18,410
♪ Ba da ba da ♪
907
00:35:18,451 --> 00:35:20,787
♪ When you're with
the Flintstones ♪
908
00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:23,206
♪ Have a yabba dabba doo time ♪
909
00:35:23,248 --> 00:35:25,041
♪ A dabba doo time ♪
910
00:35:25,083 --> 00:35:26,543
♪ We'll have a gay
old time ♪
911
00:35:26,584 --> 00:35:29,921
[imitating Fred Flintstone]
Wilmaaaaaaaaaa!
912
00:35:29,963 --> 00:35:31,297
Nice.
62040
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