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1
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,386
Jim, could you
come in here, please?
2
00:00:11,428 --> 00:00:14,305
[typing on keyboard]
3
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,227
[robotic voice]
Hi, Jim.
4
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,270
Hello.
5
00:00:20,311 --> 00:00:23,148
[typing]
I am Harvey, a computer.
6
00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:24,441
Jim sucks.
7
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:25,817
[laughs]
8
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,694
Sorry.
Zing.
9
00:00:27,736 --> 00:00:29,237
Oh, wow.
10
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,655
That's so rude.
11
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:32,240
I'm sorry,
I can't control him.
12
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:33,324
Yeah, you can.
13
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,243
You know what?
Get Pam. For this?
14
00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,911
Pam!
15
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,459
(Harvey)
Pam, you look very hot today.
16
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:45,837
Pam, meet Harvey.
17
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:47,130
This is Michael's
new friend. Great.
18
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:50,508
Me so horny.
Me love you long Tim.
19
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,718
(Jim)
Whoa.
20
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,511
(Michael)
Oh, that is gross!
21
00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:54,679
Who is "Long Tim"?
22
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,348
Damn it.
23
00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:58,099
[typing]
24
00:00:58,141 --> 00:00:59,642
(Harvey)
Long time.
25
00:00:59,684 --> 00:01:01,227
Me love you
a long time.
26
00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:03,438
Oh, well, you should
bring Long Tim in one day.
27
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,814
(Pam)
I'd love to meet Long Tim.
28
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:06,441
Yeah, right?
Yeah.
29
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,942
You ruined
a funny joke you
30
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:10,737
get out
of my off-five.
31
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,405
Okay.
Okay.
32
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,406
Bye, Harvey.
33
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,785
[typing]
34
00:01:16,826 --> 00:01:19,371
Boobs.
35
00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,790
[laughs]
36
00:01:21,831 --> 00:01:24,501
{\an8}[cheerful music]
37
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:32,467
{\an8}♪ ♪
38
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,275
{\an8}Angela.
What?
39
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:52,070
{\an8}That was a voice mail
that corporate left last night.
40
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:54,572
{\an8}They did not get
our tax forms.
41
00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,616
{\an8}Did you send them?
42
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:58,201
{\an8}They arrived this morning.
43
00:01:58,243 --> 00:01:59,577
{\an8}Are you sure?
44
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:01,371
{\an8}It is a big deal.
45
00:02:01,413 --> 00:02:04,040
{\an8}Is it a big deal?
Is it, Kevin?
46
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:07,627
{\an8}Do you really not know?
47
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,504
{\an8}Because it is a big deal.
48
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:16,011
{\an8}Hey.
49
00:02:16,928 --> 00:02:19,556
{\an8}And then there were two.
50
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,349
{\an8}Two what?
51
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:24,310
{\an8}Stay with me.
52
00:02:29,774 --> 00:02:32,110
{\an8}Tony.
53
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:37,323
{\an8}Martin.
54
00:02:43,538 --> 00:02:45,957
{\an8}Hannah.
55
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:50,879
{\an8}You and me.
56
00:02:53,089 --> 00:02:56,509
{\an8}I kinda like it here, so...
57
00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:01,765
{\an8}Andy Bernard's not going down
without a fight.
58
00:03:01,806 --> 00:03:03,808
{\an8}(Andy)
Five of us transferred from Stamford.
59
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,352
{\an8}There's two of us left.
60
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,854
{\an8}Me and Karen.
61
00:03:07,896 --> 00:03:10,857
{\an8}It's like we're touring Willy
Wonka's chocolate factory,
62
00:03:10,899 --> 00:03:13,943
{\an8}and dropping off one by one.
63
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,862
{\an8}Well, guess what?
64
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:18,198
{\an8}I'm not falling
in a chocolate river.
65
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:20,992
Huh?
66
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:23,244
Dwight still not here?
67
00:03:23,286 --> 00:03:26,081
Oh, he's gonna miss out
on all the fun.
68
00:03:26,122 --> 00:03:28,333
You leave a message?
Yes.
69
00:03:28,375 --> 00:03:29,459
What'd you say?
70
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,086
A version of what you
told me to say.
71
00:03:31,127 --> 00:03:33,880
You told him his ass was grass
and that I'm the lawn mower?
72
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:36,091
Yup.
I just didn't use those words.
73
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,467
Well, okay.
[sighs]
74
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,010
(Michael)
All right, just tell him to
75
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,136
come in when he's here,
all right?
76
00:03:40,178 --> 00:03:41,888
Hey, have you guys seen Dwight?
77
00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:43,598
I really need him
for something.
78
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,350
Dwight is late.
79
00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:48,728
Wow, that's really frustrating
for everyone, not just me.
80
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,064
Why, what do you need him for?
81
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:55,610
He has a bag of really
important work--
82
00:03:55,652 --> 00:03:59,948
things that I need for my job,
to do my job.
83
00:03:59,989 --> 00:04:02,826
So I think
it's too late already.
84
00:04:02,867 --> 00:04:05,704
Well, yup.
85
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:07,997
(Michael)
All right.
86
00:04:08,039 --> 00:04:11,209
I'm gonna level with you.
[snickers]
87
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,878
There's no bag
of important things.
88
00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:16,756
I made it up.
89
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:20,176
Punctuality is something
I demand from my employees.
90
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,388
I need them to show up on time
91
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:27,058
so when I finally show up,
we can get started right away.
92
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:28,601
[door opens]
93
00:04:30,770 --> 00:04:33,314
[sighs]
94
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:35,316
[quietly]
Everything okay?
95
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,068
Just fine.
96
00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,403
You are in the clear.
97
00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,946
Thank you.
98
00:04:45,910 --> 00:04:47,579
I don't--
I don't want those.
99
00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,082
Dwight.
100
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:52,542
Care to join us,
finally?
101
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:54,419
Thank you.
102
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,921
Hey, Dwight,
pass the tardy sauce.
103
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:57,922
(Andy)
Get it, Michael?
104
00:04:57,964 --> 00:04:59,132
Yes.
105
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:02,260
Okay, here is
the dream team.
106
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,304
My sales dream team.
107
00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,639
Today we are going to
team up for sales calls.
108
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,141
This was Andy's idea,
109
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:11,561
and you're literally
going to double-team them.
110
00:05:11,603 --> 00:05:13,855
We're going to double-team
the crap out of them.
111
00:05:13,897 --> 00:05:15,440
Satisfaction guaranteed.
112
00:05:15,482 --> 00:05:19,611
Saying that we should double
things is not a great idea.
113
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:24,532
Oh, yeah, why don't we have
two heads and four arms?
114
00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:29,788
And women have four boobs?
Or eight boobs?
115
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,040
16 boobs?
116
00:05:32,082 --> 00:05:33,625
(Michael)
Andy, since this was
117
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,377
your idea,
you get to pick first.
118
00:05:35,418 --> 00:05:37,587
Hmm, well,
119
00:05:37,629 --> 00:05:40,048
let me think about this
for a minute.
120
00:05:40,090 --> 00:05:43,468
Oh, I don't know...
Michael Scott.
121
00:05:43,510 --> 00:05:44,886
Oh.
PhD.
122
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:46,805
Doctor of sales.
123
00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,181
(Michael)
Well, I appreciate that.
124
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:49,349
That's very gracious
of you.
125
00:05:49,391 --> 00:05:51,393
Well, it is very gracious
of you to accept.
126
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,520
Well,
thank you, sir.
127
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:54,979
Okay.
128
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,690
(Dwight)
Andy is trying to reinvent the wheel.
129
00:05:56,731 --> 00:06:00,402
Why?
The wheel works.
130
00:06:00,443 --> 00:06:01,569
Idiot.
131
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,781
I'm trying to reinvent
the roof.
132
00:06:07,242 --> 00:06:09,869
Give me a couple years.
You'll see.
133
00:06:09,911 --> 00:06:11,955
And now going by seniority,
134
00:06:11,996 --> 00:06:13,790
Phyllis,
our resident senior.
135
00:06:13,832 --> 00:06:16,334
We're the same age.
136
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,461
And I'll pick... Karen.
137
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:21,089
Oh, uh, thanks.
138
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,549
(Michael)
Good.
139
00:06:22,590 --> 00:06:24,926
Next up,
the Super Fly himself,
140
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:25,927
Stanley.
141
00:06:25,969 --> 00:06:27,178
Pass.
142
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,597
You can't pass.
You gotta pick somebody.
143
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:35,478
I'll take the kid.
144
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,188
(Ryan)
I'm very flattered.
145
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:40,358
I was his second choice,
after "pass."
146
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,069
So that just leaves
Dwight and Jim.
147
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:45,113
Okay, wait, does anyone
wanna trade?
148
00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,532
Yeah, I'll trade.
149
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:49,534
Dwight and I used to
go on sales calls all the time.
150
00:06:49,576 --> 00:06:53,329
In fact, I have a picture
to remember that time.
151
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,123
Oh, young Jim.
152
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:59,210
There's just so much
I need to warn you about.
153
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:03,715
And yet, tragically,
I cannot.
154
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,217
What does Jim bring
to a sales call?
155
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:09,179
Nothing.
What do I bring?
156
00:07:09,220 --> 00:07:11,431
A fierce competitive attitude.
157
00:07:11,473 --> 00:07:13,558
Plus an extra jacket
and roadside flares,
158
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,436
and business cards,
and condensed milk.
159
00:07:20,023 --> 00:07:21,733
It's just like the old days.
160
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:26,029
Yeah, you drive me there,
I dominate, you drive me back.
161
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:28,615
Yup.
Just like the old days.
162
00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,451
I already pushed it.
163
00:07:31,493 --> 00:07:33,453
Yeah, well, I pushed it better.
164
00:07:34,954 --> 00:07:36,790
Let's go, people.
165
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,126
Oh, no, no.
Don't wanna risk it.
166
00:07:47,759 --> 00:07:50,261
Sebring, by Chrysler.
167
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,722
A heck of a motor carriage.
168
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,684
Dwight, here you go!
169
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:56,851
Yeah!
170
00:07:56,893 --> 00:07:58,770
You want shirts
on hangers? Please.
171
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,563
He does your laundry?
172
00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:02,440
Long story.
173
00:08:02,482 --> 00:08:04,651
All right, everybody,
circle up.
174
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,277
Here we go.
175
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,113
You know that this is?
176
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,531
This is the Amazing Race.
177
00:08:09,572 --> 00:08:11,783
And you guys are
the retired marines.
178
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,743
And you guys are
the mother/daughter.
179
00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:16,454
And you guys are
the gay couple.
180
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,373
And we are
the firefighter heroes.
181
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,874
Are we ready to go?
182
00:08:19,916 --> 00:08:23,294
Wait, Amazing Race--
like, the biggest sale wins?
183
00:08:23,336 --> 00:08:25,130
No, we're just gonna
rush out,
184
00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:26,297
do the sales thing,
and come back.
185
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:27,424
Is there a prize?
186
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:28,633
Just bragging rights.
187
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:30,093
Then how is this
Amazing Race?
188
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:32,178
It's just--brr.
189
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:34,514
It's Amazing Race,
Phyllis, okay?
190
00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:36,725
We're in teams of two,
and we are on a mission.
191
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:39,310
All right, so,
on your mark,
192
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,520
get set, go.
193
00:08:40,562 --> 00:08:42,564
Let's do it.
Come on!
194
00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,611
Michael--
Whoa, whoa.
195
00:08:48,653 --> 00:08:50,572
Oh, ho ho ho!
196
00:08:50,613 --> 00:08:53,158
Vamanos.
Bueno.
197
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,076
Do you have a pole?
198
00:08:55,118 --> 00:08:57,245
[sighs]
Let's go get a broom.
199
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,748
Seriously, you're gonna sit
in the back?
200
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:00,999
Uh, yeah.
201
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,417
It's the safest part
of a car.
202
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:03,585
In the event of a crash,
203
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:06,755
the driver always
protects his side first.
204
00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:08,214
[tires screech]
205
00:09:10,633 --> 00:09:13,219
Here we go.
Whoo!
206
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:14,637
(Andy)
In order to take down Dwight,
207
00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:16,222
I have to chip away
at his ally.
208
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:17,265
In this case, Michael.
209
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:19,351
And here's the good news.
210
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,269
Every success
I've ever had,
211
00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:24,022
in my job, or with
the lady folk,
212
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,648
has come from my ability
213
00:09:25,690 --> 00:09:28,276
to slowly
and painfully
214
00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,945
wear someone down.
215
00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:33,073
What's the deal with Dwight
doing your laundry?
216
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:36,785
[scoffs]
That is a long story.
217
00:09:36,826 --> 00:09:40,330
Um, a couple months ago,
218
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:43,166
Dwight tried to
go behind my back with Jan
219
00:09:43,208 --> 00:09:44,626
and get my job.
220
00:09:44,668 --> 00:09:48,380
And I am now having him
do my laundry as punishment.
221
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,965
Wow, that is
a long story,
222
00:09:51,007 --> 00:09:53,677
but quite well told, Michael.
223
00:09:53,718 --> 00:09:55,095
I find it
very interesting.
224
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,222
Especially the part
about Dwight
225
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,723
going behind your back,
226
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:01,267
and basically being
like a terrible person.
227
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,730
You know, if you want
your laundry done right,
228
00:10:05,772 --> 00:10:07,941
I used to work
at Abercrombie.
229
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:10,568
So, pretty good folder.
230
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,530
Do you think
Andy's out to get me?
231
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,824
I think that depends on what
you mean by "get you,"
232
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,867
and yes.
233
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:23,164
Why are we turning
in here?
234
00:10:23,206 --> 00:10:24,624
This is a beauty salon.
235
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,584
Mm-hmm.
236
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,712
Hey, do you mind
if I take the lead
237
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:29,713
on this one?
238
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,339
And then, you can
critique me after.
239
00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:32,966
You want the lead?
240
00:10:33,008 --> 00:10:34,092
Yeah,
if you don't mind.
241
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:35,427
Mind?
242
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:37,053
Nothing would
delight me more.
243
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:39,639
[chuckles]
244
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,896
Hey, Pam, would you like
to go with me
245
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:48,648
to grab a coffee?
246
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:49,941
Really?
247
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,109
Yeah.
248
00:10:51,151 --> 00:10:52,402
I thought you could use
some fresh air.
249
00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:53,987
It might be fun.
250
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:55,864
Okay, sure.
251
00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,323
Okay.
252
00:11:04,539 --> 00:11:06,124
Leave the keys.
253
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,292
You still do that thing?
254
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,336
Leave the keys.
255
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,465
[sighs]
256
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,384
[car radio blaring
hard rock music]
257
00:11:16,426 --> 00:11:24,559
♪ ♪
258
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:30,357
I think that you
have assembled
259
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:32,650
an amazing team
in Scranton.
260
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,402
It's really a pleasure
to be a part of it.
261
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,780
It's like everyone has
their own special skill.
262
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:39,866
You know, just like
the Super Friends.
263
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:40,867
Except for Dwight,
264
00:11:40,909 --> 00:11:43,536
who's kind of more of
a super dud.
265
00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:45,413
I mean,
he'd be a Super Friend
266
00:11:45,455 --> 00:11:47,916
if there was a Super Friend
whose super power
267
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,293
was always being late.
268
00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:52,921
You know?
269
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,798
Hawkman.
270
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,718
My plan is taking longer
than I thought.
271
00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:01,513
But I don't give up easily.
272
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,224
I have walked
two marathons, so...
273
00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,351
[toilet flushes]
274
00:12:06,393 --> 00:12:08,144
Let's go.
275
00:12:10,855 --> 00:12:13,608
The men's room
was disgusting.
276
00:12:18,321 --> 00:12:19,322
After you, sir.
277
00:12:19,364 --> 00:12:20,407
No, thank you.
278
00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:21,574
I never let anyone
walk behind me.
279
00:12:21,616 --> 00:12:23,326
Seven out of ten attacks
are from the rear.
280
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:24,661
Okay, well,
that still leaves
281
00:12:24,703 --> 00:12:26,705
a 30% chance that I'll
attack you from the front.
282
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,581
Yeah, but it'll be
easier to stop.
283
00:12:28,623 --> 00:12:30,166
I can always block
the blow.
284
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:32,127
Or I can counter it--
285
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:41,594
Kevin, Angela and I
are going for coffee.
286
00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,430
Want anything?
287
00:12:43,471 --> 00:12:46,266
No, I've already had
four cups today.
288
00:12:46,307 --> 00:12:50,270
I am bouncing off the walls.
289
00:12:50,311 --> 00:12:52,897
Okay.
290
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,524
Hey, guys,
going on a latte run.
291
00:12:54,566 --> 00:12:55,942
You want something?
292
00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:58,695
Please--I wouldn't spend $4
on milk for my kid.
293
00:12:58,737 --> 00:13:00,447
And I'm a mother.
294
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,532
That's unfortunate.
295
00:13:02,574 --> 00:13:03,783
Nothing for me,
Ms. Paris Hilton.
296
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,910
I have a mortgage to pay.
297
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:09,456
Okay.
I make less than both of you.
298
00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,167
They're just beans, you know.
299
00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,710
Yuppies.
300
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,879
Hey, Toby.
301
00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:17,005
Hey.
302
00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:18,798
I'm getting coffee.
Do you want anything?
303
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:22,135
Oh, thanks.
Um, chai latte.
304
00:13:22,177 --> 00:13:24,054
That's what I'm gonna get.
305
00:13:24,095 --> 00:13:26,431
Uh-oh,
I'm gonna start stalking you.
306
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:28,933
[chuckles]
307
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,561
Better not.
308
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:38,360
Hey, did you catch that
309
00:13:38,401 --> 00:13:39,861
up in Lake Wallenpaupack?
310
00:13:39,903 --> 00:13:41,071
Yup.
311
00:13:41,112 --> 00:13:42,697
You know, I used to
go up there all the time
312
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:43,948
with my stepdad,
313
00:13:43,990 --> 00:13:46,576
and I never caught
anything that big.
314
00:13:46,618 --> 00:13:49,788
I caught an 80-pound shark
off Montauk.
315
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,664
It's in the Hamptons.
Uh-huh.
316
00:13:51,706 --> 00:13:53,833
My dad's got
a 42-foot Bayliner.
317
00:13:53,875 --> 00:13:57,295
Sniped it with a rifle
from the crow's nest.
318
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,090
Also shot a deer once.
319
00:14:00,131 --> 00:14:02,050
You know what?
Let's get right down to it.
320
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:05,845
Dunder-Mifflin may be
just two rooms and a warehouse,
321
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,180
but what we lack
in flash,
322
00:14:07,222 --> 00:14:10,809
we will make up for
with hard work and decency--
323
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:14,187
Okay, this is
the classic undersell.
324
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,690
Because you should know
325
00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,316
we don't work
out of a log cabin.
326
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,235
(Andy)
We trade on the New York Stock Exchange.
327
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:22,696
Ever heard of it?
It's in New York.
328
00:14:22,737 --> 00:14:25,490
Um, I have to say
I'm a little wary
329
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:27,033
of getting involved
with a big company.
330
00:14:27,075 --> 00:14:29,119
We've had some problems
in the past.
331
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:32,914
And I think what Andy
is trying to express is that
332
00:14:32,956 --> 00:14:35,166
while we have the resources
of a large company,
333
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:37,502
we will give you
the care and attention
334
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,920
of a small company.
335
00:14:38,962 --> 00:14:41,589
Man, that is
like poetry.
336
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,049
No.
337
00:14:43,091 --> 00:14:44,592
I swear, this guy
could sell paper to a tree.
338
00:14:44,634 --> 00:14:47,178
No, stop it. Stop. Ow.
339
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:53,977
Oh, man, talk about
your classic lame-dash-o.
340
00:14:54,019 --> 00:14:56,980
Do we even want that guy
buying our paper?
341
00:14:57,022 --> 00:14:58,648
Yes.
342
00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:00,984
Angela, you seem
so happy.
343
00:15:02,527 --> 00:15:05,613
I bet you wish you were
like this all the time.
344
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:10,285
This friend of mine--
let's call her Noelle.
345
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:13,163
She missed this deadline
346
00:15:13,204 --> 00:15:15,999
turning something in
to corporate in New York.
347
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,835
But then this gallant
gentleman--
348
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,545
we'll call him Kurt--
349
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,588
he drove all the way
to New York
350
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,590
and handed it in for her.
351
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,967
Because--I don't know.
352
00:15:26,009 --> 00:15:28,845
I guess he just
really likes her a lot.
353
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,555
Well, that's great.
354
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,349
Yes, it is.
355
00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:38,271
Hello?
356
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,691
I'm--
I'm so sorry, man.
357
00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,403
I really
screwed that up.
358
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,654
Oh--
Really--no.
359
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:47,822
Don't worry about it.
360
00:15:47,864 --> 00:15:49,074
I really Schruted it.
361
00:15:49,115 --> 00:15:50,408
What?
362
00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,910
Schruted it.
363
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,036
It just this thing people say
364
00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,746
around your office
all the time.
365
00:15:54,788 --> 00:15:55,955
Like, when you
screw something up
366
00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:58,583
in a really
irreversible way,
367
00:15:58,625 --> 00:16:00,919
you Schruted it.
368
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,213
I don't know where
it comes from, though.
369
00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,173
You think it comes
from Dwight Schrute?
370
00:16:05,215 --> 00:16:06,174
I don't know.
371
00:16:06,216 --> 00:16:09,094
Who knows how words
are formed?
372
00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,804
Coffee's here.
Thanks, hon.
373
00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:13,098
That's Toby. Okay.
374
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,726
Chai latte?
375
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,145
Thanks.
376
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,200
[phone rings]
377
00:16:33,868 --> 00:16:35,453
Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.
378
00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:40,709
This is Pam.
379
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,293
I did?
380
00:16:44,087 --> 00:16:47,966
That's great.
Thank you so much.
381
00:16:48,008 --> 00:16:51,052
Okay.
Bye.
382
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,188
Yeah, I did a watercolor of
383
00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,732
Frances Willard
Elementary School
384
00:17:03,773 --> 00:17:06,693
for a contest
they were having.
385
00:17:06,735 --> 00:17:09,362
They were calling
with the results.
386
00:17:09,404 --> 00:17:11,614
And I won.
387
00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:13,450
I won!
My painting won.
388
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:16,870
So I'd like to thank my mom
for always encouraging me.
389
00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,204
And I'd like to thank my dad
390
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:20,749
for buying me my first set
of art pencils.
391
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:24,836
And I'd like to thank the sixth
grade class that picked me.
392
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,381
That's a big order.
Thanks, Ken.
393
00:17:28,423 --> 00:17:29,382
Yeah, thank you.
394
00:17:29,424 --> 00:17:30,550
Hey, how's Annie?
395
00:17:30,592 --> 00:17:32,260
Oh, she's great.
396
00:17:32,302 --> 00:17:35,764
This is us last year
in Bermuda.
397
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:39,059
(Ken)
Lovely place.
398
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,560
You ever been
to Bermuda?
399
00:17:40,602 --> 00:17:42,062
Stanley Hudson.
400
00:17:42,103 --> 00:17:43,897
Ah, Julius.
How's it going?
401
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,899
Great, great,
great, great, great.
402
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,233
Stanley, so good
to see you.
403
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:48,735
You too.
404
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:50,695
I'd like you fellas
to meet Ryan Howard.
405
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,072
Hi.
406
00:17:52,113 --> 00:17:53,907
I'm gonna let Ryan
do a little pitch for you
407
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,408
while I do
my crossword puzzle.
408
00:17:55,450 --> 00:17:56,534
Ryan?
409
00:18:00,622 --> 00:18:03,166
Um...
410
00:18:04,876 --> 00:18:06,086
Hi.
411
00:18:06,127 --> 00:18:07,420
Hi.
412
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:08,963
Hi.
413
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,173
Hello, Ryan. Hi.
414
00:18:10,215 --> 00:18:13,176
What do you have
for us?
415
00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:14,511
Oh...
416
00:18:14,552 --> 00:18:16,888
[swishing sound]
417
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,772
That's disgusting.
418
00:18:25,814 --> 00:18:28,108
Wrong.
It's smart.
419
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:30,276
It washes the plaque
and detritus from my teeth
420
00:18:30,318 --> 00:18:33,697
and flushes it into my small
intestine, which can handle it.
421
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:34,781
You the guys
from Dunder-Mifflin?
422
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:35,949
Mr. Kravis.
423
00:18:35,990 --> 00:18:36,991
How are you doing?
I'm Jim Halpert.
424
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:38,368
Nice to meet you.
Dwight Schrute.
425
00:18:38,410 --> 00:18:40,120
Let's do this in my office, eh?
Sure.
426
00:18:40,161 --> 00:18:42,580
Horse, fire, handkerchief?
Handkerchief.
427
00:18:45,792 --> 00:18:46,960
We can offer
our biggest discounts
428
00:18:47,002 --> 00:18:49,629
on 30% recycled,
and ultra-premium laser.
429
00:18:49,671 --> 00:18:50,922
Okay.
Okay.
430
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,716
Can I use your phone?
431
00:18:52,757 --> 00:18:54,300
Yeah, sure, go ahead. Thanks.
432
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,552
Let me talk to you about
a few of the other things
433
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:56,803
we can offer.
434
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,471
Namely, we know
the tax season's coming up.
435
00:18:58,513 --> 00:19:00,056
So by April 1st,
we can have you fully stocked.
436
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:01,641
(Dwight)
One...
437
00:19:01,683 --> 00:19:02,642
(Jim)
Discount prices on ink cartridges.
438
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:03,935
Three...
439
00:19:03,977 --> 00:19:05,270
And also any forms
that you're gonna need,
440
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,689
Seven.
we can custom make them.
441
00:19:07,731 --> 00:19:10,525
[music playing
through receiver]
442
00:19:10,567 --> 00:19:13,194
Hey, Kev, guess what?
443
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:15,030
I won an art contest today.
444
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,573
How much did you win?
445
00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,199
$100.
446
00:19:18,241 --> 00:19:22,996
I won 400 bucks
on the Celtics game last night.
447
00:19:24,039 --> 00:19:26,666
Cool.
Congratulations.
448
00:19:26,708 --> 00:19:28,335
Thanks.
449
00:19:32,630 --> 00:19:35,467
It was so sweet.
450
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:42,390
[chuckling]
451
00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:45,643
And you just said,
"Hi, hi, hi."
452
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:47,562
[chuckles]
453
00:19:47,604 --> 00:19:49,773
You sounded like...
454
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:51,191
[laughs]
455
00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:55,403
My niece.
And she's six months old.
456
00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,905
[music playing
through receiver]
457
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,365
I appreciate what
you guys are saying,
458
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,033
but it makes more
fiscal sense
459
00:20:00,075 --> 00:20:01,117
to go with one
of the big guys.
460
00:20:01,159 --> 00:20:02,410
Sure.
That's true.
461
00:20:02,452 --> 00:20:03,411
We can't compete
with their prices.
462
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:04,496
But let me
ask you something.
463
00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,456
How important to you
is customer service?
464
00:20:06,498 --> 00:20:07,749
Very.
465
00:20:07,791 --> 00:20:09,125
[voice over telephone]
Please keep holding.
466
00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,752
Your call is
very important to us.
467
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:13,046
That's one
of the "big guys."
468
00:20:13,088 --> 00:20:14,964
Been on hold
this whole time.
469
00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:17,133
And this is
Dunder-Mifflin.
470
00:20:17,175 --> 00:20:18,802
[line trilling]
471
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,220
[woman on phone]
Dunder-Mifflin customer service.
472
00:20:20,261 --> 00:20:21,846
This is Kelly.
Hey, Kelly, it's Jim.
473
00:20:21,888 --> 00:20:24,474
Oh, my God, Jim, how are you?
I wanted to tell you--
474
00:20:24,516 --> 00:20:26,184
Here's my card.
475
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,560
It's got my cell number,
my pager number,
476
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,562
my home number,
and my other pager number.
477
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:31,272
I never take vacations,
I never get sick,
478
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:32,941
and I don't celebrate
any major holidays.
479
00:20:32,982 --> 00:20:35,110
All right,
I get it.
480
00:20:35,151 --> 00:20:36,486
We got a deal.
481
00:20:36,528 --> 00:20:37,570
All right.
482
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,282
Hey, Angela.
483
00:20:41,324 --> 00:20:43,576
I got good news today too.
484
00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,453
I won an art contest.
485
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,165
That's great, Pam.
486
00:20:49,207 --> 00:20:51,459
I like having these
little moments with you.
487
00:20:53,628 --> 00:20:56,381
You know what?
Sprinkles recently had kittens.
488
00:20:56,423 --> 00:20:57,632
Oh!
489
00:20:57,674 --> 00:21:00,552
I would like to offer you
the dominant male.
490
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:03,430
His name is Ash.
491
00:21:03,471 --> 00:21:04,597
Oh.
492
00:21:04,639 --> 00:21:05,849
Mm-hmm.
493
00:21:05,890 --> 00:21:08,560
Hmm.
494
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:12,147
I don't think so.
But thanks.
495
00:21:12,188 --> 00:21:17,819
My building manager is...
[laughs softly]
496
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:20,113
you understand.
497
00:21:20,155 --> 00:21:23,033
[sighs]
Well, then.
498
00:21:23,074 --> 00:21:25,493
Have a nice day.
499
00:21:27,412 --> 00:21:29,622
I wanna be friends with Angela.
500
00:21:29,664 --> 00:21:32,334
But come on.
501
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:35,045
I'm single, I live alone.
502
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:37,756
If I start filling my place
with cats,
503
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:40,300
that's a long, lonely road.
504
00:21:40,342 --> 00:21:43,178
Listen, about earlier,
I just wanted to apologize.
505
00:21:43,219 --> 00:21:45,013
I get so emotional sometimes.
506
00:21:45,055 --> 00:21:46,681
I just wanna be so good
in your eyes.
507
00:21:46,723 --> 00:21:48,016
I understand.
508
00:21:48,058 --> 00:21:49,809
Everybody wants a pat
on the back from the big guy.
509
00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:51,061
Yeah.
510
00:21:51,102 --> 00:21:52,312
And the stuff I said
about Dwight,
511
00:21:52,354 --> 00:21:54,314
I mean, I get it, right?
He's the top salesman,
512
00:21:54,356 --> 00:21:56,983
he can come in
whenever he wants to.
513
00:21:57,025 --> 00:21:59,319
If he wants to spread weird
energy around the office,
514
00:21:59,361 --> 00:22:01,196
it's his prerogative.
515
00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,114
Well, Dwight's a weirdo.
516
00:22:03,156 --> 00:22:04,741
Yeah, right?
517
00:22:04,783 --> 00:22:06,743
The guy's got some
serious problemos.
518
00:22:06,785 --> 00:22:09,329
You know who else sucks?
Toby.
519
00:22:09,371 --> 00:22:13,041
Yeah, wheel is spinning,
but the hamster is dead.
520
00:22:14,292 --> 00:22:16,169
Thanks, that was fun.
521
00:22:16,211 --> 00:22:18,171
Yeah, I really enjoy
spending time with you.
522
00:22:18,213 --> 00:22:19,673
You're a very
nice person.
523
00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:21,549
Thank you.
524
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:23,301
And I'm so glad
you're with Jim.
525
00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:26,513
He was hung up on Pam
for such a long time.
526
00:22:26,554 --> 00:22:29,349
I didn't think
he'd ever get over her.
527
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,522
That's nice.
528
00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:39,526
You can pay me back later
for the makeover.
529
00:22:39,567 --> 00:22:42,529
[chuckling]
530
00:22:44,739 --> 00:22:45,740
Whew!
531
00:22:45,782 --> 00:22:48,368
(Andy)
Hey, boss. [knocks on door]
532
00:22:48,410 --> 00:22:49,994
Got a minute?
(Michael) Yes, Andy.
533
00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:52,288
(Andy)
I forget, why did Dwight say he was late this morning?
534
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:53,289
(Michael)
He didn't say.
535
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:54,541
(Andy)
That's weird.
536
00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:56,376
Because I was just walking
past his desk,
537
00:22:56,418 --> 00:22:59,212
and I saw this,
which is a toll booth receipt
538
00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:01,089
from New York City,
539
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:05,093
stamped really early
this morning.
540
00:23:05,135 --> 00:23:06,970
Why would Dwight go
to New York
541
00:23:07,012 --> 00:23:09,597
without telling
anyone?
542
00:23:09,639 --> 00:23:11,725
You think he went
to see Jan?
543
00:23:11,766 --> 00:23:13,059
That's not like him.
544
00:23:13,101 --> 00:23:15,770
Is it?
545
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,439
Someone told me a story
about this,
546
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:21,985
with, like,
laundry and betrayal.
547
00:23:22,027 --> 00:23:24,070
Did you betray Dwight,
548
00:23:24,112 --> 00:23:26,031
and try to steal his job
or something?
549
00:23:26,072 --> 00:23:30,535
No, you are
remembering it wrong.
550
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:33,246
Dwight betrayed me
once before.
551
00:23:33,288 --> 00:23:35,999
So this is his
strike two.
552
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:37,959
You know what they say.
553
00:23:38,001 --> 00:23:40,754
Fool me once,
strike one.
554
00:23:40,795 --> 00:23:44,174
But fool me twice...
555
00:23:44,215 --> 00:23:46,593
strike three.
556
00:23:50,513 --> 00:23:52,891
I like Karen.
She's pretty.
557
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:55,518
Appears intelligent.
558
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:57,354
Well, I like pretty women
559
00:23:57,395 --> 00:24:01,274
who have the appearance
of intelligence.
560
00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:04,194
My girlfriend is also
beautiful and smart.
561
00:24:04,235 --> 00:24:07,530
She could be a model,
or a college professor
562
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:11,326
which is intimidating
to a lot of guys.
563
00:24:11,368 --> 00:24:12,994
We should go on
a double date.
564
00:24:13,036 --> 00:24:15,914
[scoffs]
No, thank you.
565
00:24:15,955 --> 00:24:18,500
(Jan)
Dwight's name is on the security sign-in sheet,
566
00:24:18,541 --> 00:24:21,795
but I don't know
who he met with.
567
00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:23,672
And where it asks you
to state your business,
568
00:24:23,713 --> 00:24:26,257
he wrote "Beeswax Not Yours,
Incorporated."
569
00:24:26,299 --> 00:24:27,759
I knew it.
570
00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:29,302
[door opens]
571
00:24:31,096 --> 00:24:33,682
Ooh, doggy.
572
00:24:33,723 --> 00:24:38,353
No, I'm not angry.
I'm just disappointed.
573
00:24:38,395 --> 00:24:40,689
I am so freaking disappointed
574
00:24:40,730 --> 00:24:45,652
I could hit him
in the face with a brick.
575
00:24:45,694 --> 00:24:46,986
Hey,
576
00:24:47,028 --> 00:24:48,488
you wanna grab
a coffee?
577
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:50,323
Sure.
578
00:24:50,365 --> 00:24:52,325
Look at you.
579
00:24:52,367 --> 00:24:54,786
Yeah.
580
00:24:54,828 --> 00:24:56,538
Beesly, coffee?
581
00:24:56,579 --> 00:24:58,748
No, thanks, I had some already.
All right.
582
00:24:58,790 --> 00:24:59,833
Oh, but hey, Jim.
583
00:24:59,874 --> 00:25:00,917
Yeah?
584
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:02,794
I won an art contest today.
585
00:25:02,836 --> 00:25:04,546
No way!
586
00:25:04,587 --> 00:25:06,214
All right, Pam!
Congratulations!
587
00:25:06,256 --> 00:25:07,632
Thanks.
Which one was it?
588
00:25:07,674 --> 00:25:09,426
I sent in
one of my watercolors.
589
00:25:09,467 --> 00:25:10,969
Cool.
It was a new one I did.
590
00:25:11,011 --> 00:25:12,846
Oh, nice.
You ready, Jim?
591
00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:14,681
Yeah.
Can I see when I get back?
592
00:25:14,723 --> 00:25:15,640
Yeah.
593
00:25:15,682 --> 00:25:16,933
Congratulations.
Thanks.
594
00:25:16,975 --> 00:25:18,852
Big deal.
595
00:25:21,104 --> 00:25:23,606
[door closes]
596
00:25:26,067 --> 00:25:28,403
Hey, we nailed the sale.
597
00:25:28,445 --> 00:25:30,488
Where were you
this morning?
598
00:25:30,530 --> 00:25:32,741
I overslept.
Damn rooster didn't crow.
599
00:25:32,782 --> 00:25:35,160
Why do you lie, liar?
600
00:25:35,201 --> 00:25:36,202
I am not a liar.
601
00:25:36,244 --> 00:25:37,537
You are lying right now.
602
00:25:37,579 --> 00:25:39,080
Sure seems like
he's lying.
603
00:25:39,122 --> 00:25:40,957
Stay out of this, you.
604
00:25:40,999 --> 00:25:42,542
(Michael)
I know that you went to corporate this morning.
605
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:46,004
And I know that you lied
about it.
606
00:25:46,046 --> 00:25:48,423
And given our history,
607
00:25:48,465 --> 00:25:50,550
I need you to tell me
right now
608
00:25:50,592 --> 00:25:53,136
exactly what you were doing
this morning.
609
00:25:53,178 --> 00:25:56,431
Michael, I cannot tell you
what I was doing there.
610
00:25:56,473 --> 00:25:57,724
But you have to trust me.
611
00:25:57,766 --> 00:25:59,559
I would never do anything
to hurt you
612
00:25:59,601 --> 00:26:00,977
or this company.
613
00:26:01,019 --> 00:26:02,187
Okay, you know what?
614
00:26:02,228 --> 00:26:03,480
I want you to think
about your future
615
00:26:03,521 --> 00:26:04,773
at this company.
616
00:26:04,814 --> 00:26:07,025
I want you to think about it
long and hard.
617
00:26:07,067 --> 00:26:08,234
That's what she said.
618
00:26:08,276 --> 00:26:10,320
[softly]
Don't--don't you dare.
619
00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:14,949
I want to know what
you were doing this morning
620
00:26:14,991 --> 00:26:16,659
by the end of the day.
621
00:26:21,623 --> 00:26:24,209
[whispering]
It's gonna be okay.
622
00:26:24,250 --> 00:26:26,461
How's it gonna be
okay, Dwight?
623
00:26:26,503 --> 00:26:28,380
Everyone will know
our business.
624
00:26:28,421 --> 00:26:30,965
That's not the worst thing
in the world.
625
00:26:31,007 --> 00:26:33,176
I'll just stand up
in front of the office,
626
00:26:33,218 --> 00:26:36,179
and reveal
our true love.
627
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,514
It won't be that bad.
628
00:26:37,555 --> 00:26:39,432
Look at Kelly and Ryan.
629
00:26:39,474 --> 00:26:40,809
I hate those two people
630
00:26:40,850 --> 00:26:42,686
more than anything
in the entire world.
631
00:26:42,727 --> 00:26:44,354
[sighs]
632
00:26:44,396 --> 00:26:47,899
Well, I don't have
a lot of choices.
633
00:26:47,941 --> 00:26:49,693
So let me ask you
a question.
634
00:26:49,734 --> 00:26:50,735
Okay.
635
00:26:50,777 --> 00:26:53,655
Did you ever have a thing
for Pam?
636
00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:54,906
Pam?
637
00:26:54,948 --> 00:26:57,158
Did I ever have a thing
for her?
638
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:59,202
No.
639
00:26:59,244 --> 00:27:02,205
Why, did she
say something?
640
00:27:02,247 --> 00:27:04,416
I moved here
from Connecticut.
641
00:27:04,457 --> 00:27:06,626
Yeah--
642
00:27:06,668 --> 00:27:10,547
Okay, here's the--
643
00:27:10,588 --> 00:27:14,300
I had a crush on her
644
00:27:14,342 --> 00:27:16,594
before I left.
645
00:27:16,636 --> 00:27:17,804
And I told her about it,
646
00:27:17,846 --> 00:27:20,223
and she didn't feel
the same way.
647
00:27:20,265 --> 00:27:21,558
So it didn't amount
to anything,
648
00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:23,643
and I left.
649
00:27:26,354 --> 00:27:29,024
I'm really glad
you're here.
650
00:27:29,065 --> 00:27:31,443
Okay?
651
00:27:31,484 --> 00:27:33,778
Okay.
652
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:39,367
[clears throat]
653
00:27:39,409 --> 00:27:42,746
May I have
your attention, please?
654
00:27:42,787 --> 00:27:46,624
This will only take a moment
of your time.
655
00:27:46,666 --> 00:27:47,876
Although I love this company
656
00:27:47,917 --> 00:27:50,420
more than almost
anything in the world,
657
00:27:50,462 --> 00:27:52,422
I have decided
to step down from my post
658
00:27:52,464 --> 00:27:54,049
and spend more time
with my family.
659
00:27:54,090 --> 00:27:56,509
I do not fear
the unknown.
660
00:27:56,551 --> 00:27:58,345
I will meet my new challenges
head on,
661
00:27:58,386 --> 00:27:59,971
and I will succeed.
662
00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:02,724
And I will laugh in the faces
of those who doubt me.
663
00:28:02,766 --> 00:28:05,727
It's been a pleasure
working with some of you,
664
00:28:05,769 --> 00:28:07,854
and I will not forget
those of you soon.
665
00:28:07,896 --> 00:28:13,234
But remember,
while today it is me,
666
00:28:13,276 --> 00:28:14,778
we all shall fall.
667
00:28:18,531 --> 00:28:20,367
In other words,
I'm quitting.
668
00:28:20,408 --> 00:28:21,951
So...
669
00:28:21,993 --> 00:28:24,204
♪ Oompa loompa ♪
670
00:28:24,245 --> 00:28:26,414
♪ Doompadee dossum ♪
671
00:28:26,456 --> 00:28:27,957
♪ Dwight is now gone ♪
672
00:28:27,999 --> 00:28:30,710
♪ Which is totally awesome ♪
673
00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:32,337
♪ Why was he gone? ♪
674
00:28:32,379 --> 00:28:34,422
♪ He was such a nice guy ♪
675
00:28:34,464 --> 00:28:35,799
♪ No, he was not ♪
676
00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,343
♪ He was a total douche ♪
677
00:28:38,385 --> 00:28:41,304
♪ Doompadee doom ♪
678
00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:46,101
Ryan, I want you to have
my Farmers' Almanac.
679
00:28:49,145 --> 00:28:53,608
Phyllis, I know you've had
your eye on that.
680
00:28:53,650 --> 00:28:55,902
Stanley...
681
00:28:55,944 --> 00:28:57,612
I want you to have
my staple remover.
682
00:28:57,654 --> 00:28:59,781
I have a staple remover.
683
00:28:59,823 --> 00:29:02,117
Mine's better.
I modified it myself.
684
00:29:02,158 --> 00:29:04,285
Thanks.
685
00:29:04,327 --> 00:29:08,081
Pam, I want you to have
my pencil sharpener.
686
00:29:08,123 --> 00:29:09,499
I replaced the motor.
687
00:29:09,541 --> 00:29:11,001
Dwight, I don't know
what to say.
688
00:29:11,042 --> 00:29:12,085
Then keep quiet.
689
00:29:12,127 --> 00:29:14,629
I once came into work
on a Saturday,
690
00:29:14,671 --> 00:29:16,256
and Dwight was here reorganizing
691
00:29:16,297 --> 00:29:18,216
the kitchen shelves.
692
00:29:18,258 --> 00:29:21,136
It was kind of sweet.
693
00:29:21,177 --> 00:29:24,431
And then he lectured me
on my weekend outfit.
694
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:29,352
Angela, I want you
to have my chair.
695
00:29:29,394 --> 00:29:30,478
Great lumbar support.
696
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,857
[objects clanking]
697
00:29:33,898 --> 00:29:38,194
I would like to give
the rest of my belongings...
698
00:29:38,236 --> 00:29:39,237
to Michael Scott.
699
00:29:41,031 --> 00:29:42,323
Just take it.
700
00:29:42,365 --> 00:29:43,616
Except this.
701
00:29:43,658 --> 00:29:45,326
[clears throat]
Good luck.
702
00:29:45,368 --> 00:29:47,537
And this one. Oops.
703
00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:52,375
Dwight will be missed.
704
00:29:52,417 --> 00:29:55,253
Not by me so much.
705
00:29:55,295 --> 00:29:57,839
But he will be missed.
706
00:29:57,881 --> 00:30:01,551
Dwight, from sales,
707
00:30:01,593 --> 00:30:04,262
was one of the most honorable
and efficient employees
708
00:30:04,304 --> 00:30:06,431
this company has ever had.
709
00:30:06,473 --> 00:30:09,184
(Dwight)
One of my life goals was to die right here,
710
00:30:09,225 --> 00:30:11,144
in my desk chair.
711
00:30:11,186 --> 00:30:15,648
And today,
that dream was shattered.
712
00:30:15,690 --> 00:30:17,901
Some people sell cars.
713
00:30:17,942 --> 00:30:22,739
Some people sell condos.
I sell paper.
714
00:30:22,781 --> 00:30:25,033
That's what I do.
715
00:30:25,075 --> 00:30:28,036
And when you sell someone
a blank sheet of paper,
716
00:30:28,078 --> 00:30:30,705
you're selling them possibility.
717
00:30:30,747 --> 00:30:32,916
And that's what Dwight has now.
718
00:30:32,957 --> 00:30:37,504
He has 1,000 sheets
of bright white possibility.
719
00:30:37,545 --> 00:30:40,715
And I wish him luck.
720
00:30:40,757 --> 00:30:42,050
(Harvey)
Boobs.
721
00:30:42,092 --> 00:30:43,593
Damn it.
722
00:30:47,013 --> 00:30:48,264
Hey, man.
723
00:31:01,778 --> 00:31:04,030
What happened
on your sales call?
724
00:31:08,284 --> 00:31:11,246
Um, am I happy about
the way things turned out?
725
00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:15,125
[groans]
Happy's such an ugly word.
726
00:31:15,166 --> 00:31:18,712
But I saw what needed
to be done,
727
00:31:18,753 --> 00:31:21,381
and I did it,
and now I'm thrilled.
728
00:31:21,423 --> 00:31:24,175
[chuckling]
So it's pretty--
729
00:31:24,217 --> 00:31:26,261
Hello?
730
00:31:26,302 --> 00:31:28,013
Pretty good.
49414
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