All language subtitles for The.Office.Superfan.Episodes.S06E08.Koi.Pond.Extended.Cut.1080p.PCOK.WEB-DL.DD+5.1.H.264-playWEB_track3_[eng]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,718 --> 00:00:10,885 AND THEN, I THINK I'M GOING TO GO 2 00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:12,554 TO THE GARLIC FESTIVAL. 3 00:00:12,595 --> 00:00:13,638 - WOW. - SOUNDS LIKE FUN. 4 00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:14,806 YOU GUYS WOULD LOVE IT. 5 00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,391 - I BET WE WOULD. - THEY HAVE A TCBY BOOTH. 6 00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:17,976 - COOL. - SAME STUFF YOU GET DOWNTOWN. 7 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,477 - MM-HMM. - DO YOU LIKE TCBY? 8 00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:20,478 WHO DOESN'T? 9 00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:21,688 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S-- 10 00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,648 I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S YOGURT. 11 00:00:23,690 --> 00:00:25,442 OH, IT'LL BE FUN. 12 00:00:25,483 --> 00:00:26,693 WHAT ABOUT YOU GUYS? 13 00:00:26,735 --> 00:00:28,069 I THINK WE'RE JUST GONNA LAY LOW. 14 00:00:28,111 --> 00:00:29,863 PROBABLY RENT SOME MOVIES. 15 00:00:29,904 --> 00:00:32,532 GONNA HAVE SOME FRIENDS OVER TO DECORATE THE NURSERY. 16 00:00:32,574 --> 00:00:34,826 - OH, THAT SOUNDS GREAT. - YEAH. 17 00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,828 I AM IN. 18 00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,246 - NO-- - COUNT ME IN, MY FRIEND. 19 00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:39,414 - WELL-- - I DIDN'T REALLY WANT 20 00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:41,791 TO GO TO THE GARLIC FESTIVAL BY MYSELF. 21 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:44,878 STUPID. WHO--YOU KNOW, GARLIC IS GREAT. 22 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,880 BUT DOES IT REALLY DESERVE ITS OWN CARNIVAL? 23 00:00:46,921 --> 00:00:48,298 - 100% IT DOES. - EH. 24 00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,591 I THINK YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BLAST THERE. 25 00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:50,759 - WELL-- - YOU KNOW WHAT? 26 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:51,718 I THINK WE GOT IT ALL COVERED TOO. 27 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:52,844 THE NURSERY ISN'T THAT BIG. 28 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,013 CAN'T FIT SO MANY PEOPLE. 29 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,514 NO. SO JUST YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS? 30 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:57,891 YES, OLD FRIENDS, 31 00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,851 SO WE'RE GONNA BE DOING A LOT OF CATCHING UP. 32 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,062 AM I JEALOUS OF JIM? NO. 33 00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:05,023 NO, BECAUSE I GET TO DO WHATEVER I WANT THIS WEEKEND 34 00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,360 AND HE HAS TO DO WHATEVER PAM WANTS HIM TO DO. 35 00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:10,737 AND HE'LL PROBABLY HAVE A BUNCH OF FRIENDS OVER 36 00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,822 AND HAVE TO BARBECUE FOR THEM. 37 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,324 HE'LL BE RUNNING AROUND LIKE A WAITER, 38 00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:17,452 WHEREAS I WILL PROBABLY ORDER CHINESE FOOD 39 00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,995 AND EAT LIKE AN EMPEROR. 40 00:01:19,037 --> 00:01:20,372 I CONFIRMED WITH RASKIN DESIGN, 41 00:01:20,413 --> 00:01:22,332 AND THEY'RE EXPECTING THE BOTH OF YOU IN AN HOUR. 42 00:01:22,374 --> 00:01:23,875 OH, ACTUALLY, IT'S JUST GONNA BE ME. 43 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:25,752 THEY SAID THE BOTH OF YOU. 44 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,087 THAT'S A MISTAKE. 45 00:01:27,128 --> 00:01:29,214 YOU SHOULD GIVE 'EM A CALL, CHECK THAT OUT. 46 00:01:29,255 --> 00:01:31,675 ALL RIGHT. JUST CLEAR THIS UP. 47 00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:34,135 WELL, THERE'S ACTUALLY BEEN A FEW CHANGES IN THE COMPANY, 48 00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:36,554 AND MICHAEL AND I ARE ACTUALLY AT THE SAME LEVEL, 49 00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:39,808 SO I GET--NO. 50 00:01:39,849 --> 00:01:41,643 NO, WHY WOULD THAT BE A PROBLEM? 51 00:01:41,685 --> 00:01:42,644 JIM IS A GOOD KID. 52 00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:43,937 HE CAN HANDLE A LOT, 53 00:01:43,978 --> 00:01:46,439 BUT SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO CALL IN A MASTER. 54 00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:48,775 I, UH... 55 00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,193 WHY WOULD YOU DATE AN AMATEUR 56 00:01:50,235 --> 00:01:52,737 WHEN YOU COULD DATE A PROFESSIONAL? 57 00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:55,365 GREAT. SEE YA THEN. 58 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,825 WHA--WHAT? 59 00:01:56,866 --> 00:01:57,951 THEY SAID THAT THEY WOULD FEEL 60 00:01:57,992 --> 00:01:59,994 MORE COMFORTABLE IF YOU CAME ALONG. 61 00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,871 WHY DON'T THEY JUST WANT YOU TO GO BY YOURSELF? 62 00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:03,081 WHY DO THEY WANT ME TO COME TOO? 63 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,499 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 64 00:02:04,541 --> 00:02:06,501 I ABSOLUTELY DON'T UNDERSTAND, EITHER. 65 00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:07,585 I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL 66 00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,379 LIKE I'M BABYSITTING YOU OR SOMETHING. 67 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:11,756 ALL RIGHT. 68 00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:12,924 ALL RIGHT. 69 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,426 LET ME GO GET YOUR STROLLER. 70 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,094 [laughs] 71 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,555 SURE, MICHAEL'S A GOOD TEACHER. 72 00:02:18,596 --> 00:02:19,806 A TEACHER IS SOMEONE 73 00:02:19,848 --> 00:02:21,933 WHO STANDS RIGHT NEXT TO YOU YOUR WHOLE LIFE 74 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:23,935 AND NEVER LETS YOU DO ANYTHING. 75 00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:26,354 THAT'S WHAT A TEACHER IS, RIGHT? 76 00:02:26,396 --> 00:02:29,357 [cheerful music] 77 00:02:29,399 --> 00:02:36,322 {\an8}♪ ♪ 78 00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,293 {\an8}- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA CALL HIM? - DAVE. 79 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,295 {\an8}- NO, WHAT IS HIS NAME? - DAVE. 80 00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:52,172 {\an8}MR. BORCHARD. THEY'RE VERY FORMAL. 81 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:54,049 {\an8}YEAH, I'VE SPOKEN TO THEM ON THE PHONE. 82 00:02:54,090 --> 00:02:56,426 {\an8}YEAH, WELL, THIS IS NOT THE PHONE. 83 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,136 {\an8}THIS IS REAL LIFE, BABY, 84 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,971 {\an8}AND YOU GOTTA OWN IT. 85 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,431 {\an8}IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE WEARING? 86 00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:02,849 {\an8}YES, IT IS. 87 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:05,518 {\an8}AND THAT IS THE WATCH THAT YOU ARE GOING TO WEAR? 88 00:03:05,560 --> 00:03:06,728 {\an8}NO, IT IS NOT. 89 00:03:06,770 --> 00:03:08,688 {\an8}YOU SHOULD WEAR THIS WATCH. 90 00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:09,856 {\an8}I WILL LOAN IT TO YOU. 91 00:03:09,898 --> 00:03:11,107 {\an8}IT IS A TANKARD. 92 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,525 {\an8}I HIGHLY RECOMMEND YOU WEAR THAT. 93 00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:13,485 {\an8}NO, THANKS. 94 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,195 {\an8}- THEY ARE INTO STYLE. - MM-HMM. 95 00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,655 {\an8}THEY ARE INTO APPEARANCE. WE ARE SELLING SUCCESS. 96 00:03:17,697 --> 00:03:18,698 {\an8}AND PAPER. 97 00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,492 {\an8}THAT'S SORT OF SECONDARY. 98 00:03:20,533 --> 00:03:21,743 {\an8}NOPE. 99 00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:22,827 {\an8}NO. 100 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,037 {\an8}- GONNA TAKE IT? - NO. 101 00:03:24,079 --> 00:03:25,413 {\an8}I WILL KEEP IT FOR YOU FOR LATER. 102 00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,248 {\an8}HOW ABOUT THE KNOT ON THE TIE? DOUBLE DIMPLE. 103 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,583 {\an8}- I THINK WE NEED TO GO. - NO. 104 00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,210 {\an8}- DON'T TOUCH MY-- - YOU NEED TO DOUBLE DIMPLE 105 00:03:30,251 --> 00:03:32,295 {\an8}YOUR TIE, JIM. COME ON. 106 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,297 {\an8}HERE WE GO. I WANT YOU TO LOOK GOOD. 107 00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,424 {\an8}- I CAN'T--TURN AROUND. - NO. 108 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:37,509 {\an8}COME ON. 109 00:03:37,550 --> 00:03:38,551 {\an8}THERE WE GO. 110 00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:39,761 {\an8}I DON'T WANT THEM THINKING 111 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:42,972 {\an8}THAT YOU'RE SOME SORT OF COUNTRY PUMPKIN. 112 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,725 {\an8}HE'S TRYING TO MICRO-CO-MANAGE ME. 113 00:03:45,767 --> 00:03:51,189 {\an8}OR CO-MICROMANAGE...ME. 114 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,191 {\an8}- HERE WE ARE OUTSIDE... - W.B. 115 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,150 {\an8}THE WILKES-BARRE INDUSTRIAL PARK. 116 00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,860 {\an8}INDUSTRIAL P. 117 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,862 {\an8}MAKIN' COLD CALLS. 118 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,739 {\an8}THE TWO PEOPLE WITH THE LOWEST SALES 119 00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:01,282 {\an8}IN THE QUARTER HAVE TO DO THEM. 120 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:03,034 {\an8}UNH! 121 00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,036 {\an8}I UNFORTUNATELY HAVE HAD THAT DEVIOUS DISTINCTION 122 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:07,163 {\an8}FOR SEVEN QUARTERS IN A ROW, 123 00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,874 {\an8}WHICH I'M NOT PROUD OF, 124 00:04:09,916 --> 00:04:12,711 {\an8}BUT IT IS A RECORD. 125 00:04:12,752 --> 00:04:14,587 {\an8}♪ PALPABON DRILLING ♪ 126 00:04:14,629 --> 00:04:16,339 {\an8}♪ WHERE ARE YOU? ♪ 127 00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:18,133 {\an8}♪ DEAN TROPHIES, SUITE 100 ♪ 128 00:04:18,174 --> 00:04:20,218 {\an8}♪ DOODLE-EE-DOO ♪ 129 00:04:20,260 --> 00:04:22,554 {\an8}♪ SHERMAN BLINDS & RUGS ♪ 130 00:04:22,595 --> 00:04:23,638 {\an8}♪ SUITE 202 ♪ 131 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:24,723 {\an8}HERE IT IS. 132 00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:25,974 {\an8}* PALPABON DRILLING ♪ 133 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,475 {\an8}SUITE 401. 134 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,060 {\an8}YEAH, I WAS GONNA SING THAT PART. 135 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:30,478 {\an8}I KNOW. NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO. 136 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,064 {\an8}WELL, EXCEPT IT WAS GONNA RESOLVE THE MELODY, SO... 137 00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,232 {\an8}NOW MY HEAD HURTS. 138 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,568 {\an8}FEELS LIKE I HELD IN A SNEEZE. 139 00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:38,236 {\an8}MM...AHH! 140 00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,822 {\an8}I HATE THIS FEELING. 141 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:44,701 {\an8}♪ SUITE 401 ♪ 142 00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:49,748 ALL RIGHT. 143 00:04:49,789 --> 00:04:51,124 HI. ANY MESSAGES? 144 00:04:51,166 --> 00:04:52,250 YOU'RE SOAKING WET. 145 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,835 OH, WELL, JIM AND I GOT CAUGHT 146 00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:55,879 IN A LITTLE FLASH...RAIN, 147 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:57,589 FLASH WINDS, FLASH LIGHTNING. 148 00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,007 WOW. SOUNDS SCARY. 149 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,258 IT WAS, IT WAS. 150 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,094 AND THEN IN AN INSTANT, IT WASN'T. 151 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,137 WHY ISN'T JIM WET? 152 00:05:04,179 --> 00:05:05,347 I...OUTRAN IT. 153 00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,806 I DON'T THINK IT RAINED. 154 00:05:06,848 --> 00:05:08,016 MY HIP WOULD BE THROBBING. 155 00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,601 IT RAINED. 156 00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,644 MICHAEL, CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING--A TOWEL, SOME COCOA? 157 00:05:11,686 --> 00:05:12,604 NOTHING. 158 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:13,938 COCOA. 159 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,523 I'LL JUST LEAVE THAT SUIT IN YOUR OFFICE THEN? 160 00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,692 GOOD. YEP. 161 00:05:17,734 --> 00:05:19,778 MUST BE NICE TO HAVE COMPANY ON THESE COLD CALLS. 162 00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,447 WE'RE KIND OF A DYNAMIC DUO. 163 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:24,115 OR TRIO. 164 00:05:24,157 --> 00:05:25,450 HOW EXCITING! 165 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,410 DO YOU GUYS KNOW THE SEX YET? 166 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:30,288 OH, NO. NO. [laughing] 167 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,956 WE'RE NOT TOGETHER. 168 00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:34,584 NO, NO, NO. DEFINITELY NOT. 169 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:35,669 DEFINITELY NOT. 170 00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,463 [laughing] NO, WE JUST WORK TOGETHER. 171 00:05:38,505 --> 00:05:41,257 LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY'S GOT A CASE OF THE "DEFINITELYS." 172 00:05:44,636 --> 00:05:45,929 UM, MICHAEL? 173 00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:48,306 THE CUSTODIAN FROM RASKIN DESIGN IS ON THE LINE. 174 00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,183 HE SAID THEY FOUND YOUR KEYS IN THE KOI POND. 175 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,352 O-KAY, THANK YOU. 176 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:54,813 DID YOU SAY KOI POND? 177 00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,023 THE MESSAGE WAS FOR MICHAEL. 178 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:59,484 WHY WOULD MICHAEL'S KEYS BE IN A KOI POND? 179 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:03,697 I'M SURE THERE'S A PERFECTLY REASONABLE EXPLANATION. 180 00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:04,989 [phone rings] 181 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,157 YEAH. 182 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,159 MICHAEL, PEOPLE ARE ASKING QUESTIONS. 183 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:10,787 OKAY, PUT THEM ON SPEAKER. 184 00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,122 [on speakerphone] HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S GOIN' ON? 185 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,040 HEY, MICHAEL, DID YOU FALL INTO A KOI POND? 186 00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:15,750 UH, CAN'T REALLY HEAR YOU. 187 00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:18,003 I THINK WE HAVE SORT OF A BAD CONNECTION. 188 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:20,588 - WELL, WE CAN HEAR YOU. - WHAT? 189 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,761 YOU FELL INTO A KOI POND. 190 00:06:26,803 --> 00:06:28,471 YOU KNOW, STANLEY, I'M NOT EVEN GOING 191 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:31,224 TO DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE. 192 00:06:31,266 --> 00:06:32,684 - MM. - MM. 193 00:06:32,726 --> 00:06:33,685 THERE'S JIM. 194 00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,228 HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MICHAEL! 195 00:06:35,270 --> 00:06:36,521 I HAVE KEYS IN THE BOTTOM OF MY OUTHOUSE. 196 00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,440 DOES THAT MEAN I FELL INTO MY OUTHOUSE? 197 00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:39,816 NO. 198 00:06:39,858 --> 00:06:43,153 MOSE SOMETIMES HIDES MY KEYS IN THE OUTHOUSE. 199 00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,030 JIM, DID MICHAEL FALL INTO A KOI POND? 200 00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,823 MM... 201 00:06:46,865 --> 00:06:48,241 IT'S LIKE MICHAEL SAID. 202 00:06:48,283 --> 00:06:50,660 IT WAS, UM, SOME--SOMETHING ELSE. 203 00:06:50,702 --> 00:06:52,412 IT WAS--OKAY, THIS IS WHAT IT WAS. 204 00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,705 IT WAS THESE BUNCH OF IDIOTS 205 00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,332 THAT HAD PUT A FISH TANK IN THE GROUND 206 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,209 WITH NO COVER AND NO RAILING. 207 00:06:58,251 --> 00:06:59,711 - SO YOU FELL IN. - NO! 208 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,088 MAYBE I WAS TRYING TO SAVE A CHILD THAT HAD FALLEN IN. 209 00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,548 SO A CHILD HAD FALLEN IN? 210 00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:04,716 NOT YET! 211 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,051 THAT IS HILARIOUS. 212 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:07,552 NO, IT--DON'T. I'M NOT GONNA BUMP! 213 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:10,221 I'M NOT GONNA BUMP, AND IT WAS NOT HILARIOUS. 214 00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,557 IT WAS VERY, VERY TERRIFYING. 215 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,559 [laughing] 216 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:16,561 TRUTHFULLY, IT WASN'T THE WAY HE FELL IN. 217 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:20,106 IT WAS HOW LONG IT TOOK HIM TO GET OUT. 218 00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,109 AND WE'D LIKE TO OFFER YOU 15% OFF YOUR FIRST PURCHASE 219 00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,570 AS OUR WAY OF WELCOMING YOU TO THE AREA. 220 00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:27,614 WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REALLY NICE DEAL. 221 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,074 SHA-BOW. 222 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:31,242 AND I MUST SAY, THAT SINCE WE ARE A FAMILY BUSINESS, 223 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,827 IT'S NICE TO SEE THAT YOU ARE TOO. 224 00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:35,580 OH! NO--WOW! 225 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,581 [laughing] 226 00:07:36,623 --> 00:07:38,792 YOU THOUGHT THAT-- OH, MY GOSH. 227 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:40,460 OH, DEFINITELY NOT. 228 00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:41,836 MY MISTAKE. I'M SORRY. 229 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,088 IT'S OKAY. 230 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,965 NAH, ACTUALLY, IT'S KINDA NOT OKAY. 231 00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,093 UM, I DATE MODELS. 232 00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,552 FACE MODELS. 233 00:07:49,594 --> 00:07:54,933 MY GIRLFRIEND, ON A SCALE OF ONE TO GISELE, 234 00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,518 UH, A NINE. 235 00:07:56,559 --> 00:07:59,437 AND SHE LOOKS LIKE NATALIE PORTMAN AND MEGAN FOX 236 00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:02,982 COPULATED AND HAD THE PERFECT CHILD. 237 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:06,277 AND SHE HAS THE MIND OF... 238 00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:09,322 MENCIA, SO SHE'S REALLY FUNNY TOO. 239 00:08:09,364 --> 00:08:10,782 THAT'S-- THAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. 240 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:13,118 ANYWAY, WE ALSO HAVE A SPECIAL ON ENVELOPES. 241 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:15,203 PAM'S CARRYING OUR SURROGATE, 242 00:08:15,245 --> 00:08:17,163 BECAUSE MY GIRLFRIEND NEEDED 243 00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,583 TO KEEP HER FIGURE FOR FASHION WEEK, 244 00:08:20,625 --> 00:08:22,794 SO WE, UH, WE PUT OUR BABY IN PAM. 245 00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,171 IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT PAM LOOKS LIKE. 246 00:08:25,213 --> 00:08:27,173 YEAH. 247 00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,092 YOU WERE WAY MEANER TO ME THAN I WAS TO YOU. 248 00:08:29,134 --> 00:08:31,052 NO, I WASN'T, OKAY? 249 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,512 THE VERY IDEA OF US TOGETHER 250 00:08:32,554 --> 00:08:33,888 MADE YOU BURST OUT LAUGHING 251 00:08:33,930 --> 00:08:34,973 LIKE YOU JUST BIT INTO 252 00:08:35,015 --> 00:08:37,058 AN ADAM SANDLER AND JELLY SANDWICH. 253 00:08:37,100 --> 00:08:39,894 YOU BLEW THE SALE, YOU IDIOT! 254 00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,229 LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING. 255 00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:44,149 I WAS NEVER GONNA MAKE THAT SALE. 256 00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,151 ERIN, DO WE HAVE ANY OF THOSE CLIPS 257 00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,110 THAT HOLD PAPER TOGETHER? 258 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:48,194 STAPLES? 259 00:08:48,236 --> 00:08:50,280 [Kevin clearing throat] 260 00:08:50,321 --> 00:08:52,323 UH, DAVID WALLACE CALLED. 261 00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,658 OH, HE DID? WHAT DID HE SAY? 262 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,785 HE HEARD YOU MADE A BIG SPLASH AT THE MEETING. 263 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,454 OH, MY GOD, THAT WAS SO MEAN WHAT I JUST SAID, 264 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:58,580 AND I DIDN'T MEAN IT. 265 00:08:58,621 --> 00:09:00,665 IT WAS KEVIN AND MEREDITH PUT ME UP TO IT. 266 00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:01,708 OKAY. 267 00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:03,418 [whispering] I'M GONNA KILL YOU. 268 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,503 MICHAEL, DON'T LISTEN TO THEM. 269 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:06,588 THANK YOU, STANLEY. 270 00:09:06,629 --> 00:09:08,965 YOU JUST IGNORE THEIR CARPING. 271 00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,091 OKAY. 272 00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,509 - [whispering] MICHAEL! - YES? 273 00:09:11,551 --> 00:09:13,219 A CARP IS BOTH A FISH AND A TERM FOR COMPLAINING. 274 00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:15,013 THEY'RE MOCKING YOU WITH WORDPLAY! 275 00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,307 HEY, OSCAR, YOU KNOW WHO WOULD LOVE THIS? 276 00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:20,727 YOU EX-BOYFRIEND, GIL. 277 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,271 HEY, BOSS, DID YOU FIND NEMO? 278 00:09:23,313 --> 00:09:25,023 I CAN NAME PIXAR MOVIES TOO. 279 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,149 TOY STORY. 280 00:09:26,191 --> 00:09:27,859 DON'T YOU MEAN KOI STORY? 281 00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:28,943 [laughter] 282 00:09:28,985 --> 00:09:31,780 WHEN YOU FELL IN, DID YOU FLOUNDER? 283 00:09:31,821 --> 00:09:33,073 GOOD ONE, PHYLLIS. 284 00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,116 MICHAEL, FLOUNDER IS BOTH A KIND OF A FISH-- 285 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:36,534 I KNOW WHAT A FLOUNDER IS. 286 00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:39,204 I'M NOT USUALLY THE BUTT OF THE JOKE. 287 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:41,581 I'M USUALLY THE FACE OF THE JOKE. 288 00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,710 I WISH JIM HAD FALLEN INTO THAT POND. 289 00:09:45,752 --> 00:09:47,379 THEN HE'D HAVE TO PUT ON MY SUIT, 290 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:49,089 AND IT WOULD BE TOO SHORT. 291 00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:52,842 AND HE'D LOOK--DAMN IT, HE'D STILL LOOK GOOD. 292 00:09:57,639 --> 00:10:00,725 [shoes squelching] 293 00:10:08,692 --> 00:10:11,820 MICHAEL, YOU HAVE SOME ALGAE-- 294 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:14,698 OKAY, YOU KNOW, WHAT, ERIN? ENOUGH. 295 00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:15,907 WAIT, JUST GO LIKE THIS. 296 00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,492 [sighs] 297 00:10:17,534 --> 00:10:20,120 OH, GOD. GOD, THAT'S DISGUSTING. 298 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,413 OH. 299 00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:22,539 HEY, MICHAEL-- 300 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:25,125 NO. NO! NO MORE! THAT IS IT! 301 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,460 EVERYBODY IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM, RIGHT NOW. 302 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:34,009 [Kevin imitating squelching] 303 00:10:34,050 --> 00:10:36,678 THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL THING ABOUT SENSITIVITY TRAINING 304 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:39,389 IS THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE FUN OF A PERSON 305 00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:41,474 FOR SOMETHING OR SOME ACTION 306 00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:43,685 THAT THEY HAVE DONE THAT THEY REGRET. 307 00:10:43,727 --> 00:10:45,353 YOU CAN ONLY MAKE FUN OF THINGS 308 00:10:45,395 --> 00:10:47,355 THAT THEY HAVE CONTROL OVER. 309 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,482 LIKE OSCAR IS GAY. 310 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,234 THAT IS HIS CHOICE. 311 00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,360 WE CAN MAKE FUN OF THAT. 312 00:10:52,402 --> 00:10:55,864 I DID NOT CHOOSE TO FALL INTO A KOI POND. 313 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:57,824 MICHAEL, YOU STILL CAN'T MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE 314 00:10:57,866 --> 00:10:59,868 FOR RACE OR GENDER OR SEXUAL ORIENTATION 315 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,161 OR RELIGION. 316 00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:03,038 WHO LET--WHO LET THE LEMONHEAD INTO THE ROOM? 317 00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:05,123 YOU ARE A WASTE OF LIFE, AND YOU SHOULD GIVE UP. 318 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,128 IS WHAT I WANT TO SAY, BUT I WON'T, 319 00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:13,256 BECAUSE THAT IS WHY WE ARE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW. 320 00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,343 SO, TOBY, WELCOME TO SENSITIVITY TRAINING FOR REAL. 321 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:17,385 SHOW OF HANDS. 322 00:11:17,427 --> 00:11:20,764 WHO HERE HAS BEEN KOI-PONDED? 323 00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,974 WHO HERE HAS BEEN THE BUTT OF A JOKE 324 00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:24,976 THAT HAS GONE TOO FAR? PHYLLIS. 325 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,354 MICHAEL, YOU MAKE FUN OF US EVERY DAY. 326 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,814 - UH... - YEAH, EVERY SINGLE DAY. 327 00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,358 YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING. 328 00:11:31,399 --> 00:11:32,984 UH, WE HAVE COUNTLESS TIMES. 329 00:11:33,026 --> 00:11:35,236 WELL, IT IS HARD TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE 330 00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:38,239 BETWEEN YOU GUYS SAYING, "STOP BECAUSE I WANT YOU TO STOP," 331 00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:39,741 OR STOP AS IN, 332 00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:42,452 "STOP! YOU'RE MAKING ME LAUGH SO HARD. 333 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,162 "WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS SO FUNNY. 334 00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:46,247 "YOU'RE ON A ROLL, I AM BUSTING A GUT. 335 00:11:46,289 --> 00:11:47,916 STOP!" 336 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:49,542 THAT'S NEVER BEEN THE CASE. 337 00:11:49,584 --> 00:11:51,878 WE ARE GOING TO MAKE 338 00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:58,927 A "DO NOT MOCK" LIST, OKAY? 339 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:02,097 ANYTHING THAT WE THINK MIGHT BE OUT OF BOUNDS, 340 00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,598 WE PUT ON THIS LIST. 341 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:04,933 ANYTHING YOU PUT ON THIS LIST, 342 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:08,103 YOU CANNOT BE TEASED ABOUT, GOT IT? 343 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:09,729 I'M GONNA KICK IT OFF. 344 00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:14,567 LET'S SEE WHAT I HAVE TO PUT ON THE LIST. 345 00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,945 RIGHT? OKAY. 346 00:12:16,986 --> 00:12:19,698 I ALSO HAVE FALLEN INTO THE FOUNTAIN 347 00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,907 AT THE STEAMTOWN MALL. 348 00:12:20,949 --> 00:12:23,535 YOU FELL INTO A SECOND FOUNTAIN? 349 00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,871 CAN YOU KICK ME OUT OF THE MEETING NOW? 350 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:28,540 GO. GO. 351 00:12:31,251 --> 00:12:32,961 STARTING TODAY, 352 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,879 TEASING WILL NO LONGER BE TOLERATED. 353 00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:37,465 YOU MEAN THERE'S NO TEASING OF ANY KIND? 354 00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,633 NO, NO, NO, NO. 355 00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:39,801 JUST THINGS THAT ARE ON THE LIST. 356 00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:40,969 THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF IT. 357 00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,303 OKAY, WHO ELSE? WHO ELSE? 358 00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,638 DWIGHT, COME ON. 359 00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,473 I DON'T WANT PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF MY NOSE. 360 00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:47,434 YOUR NOSE? 361 00:12:47,475 --> 00:12:49,060 IT'S TOO SMALL. 362 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,645 THE GEOMETRIC PROPORTIONS OF MY FACE 363 00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:53,732 ARE PERFECT IN EVERY WAY BUT ONE. 364 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,859 MY NOSE IS TOO SMALL. 365 00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:57,861 I MEAN, IT STILL WORKS. I CAN SMELL THINGS. 366 00:12:57,902 --> 00:13:01,656 I JUST...HAVE TO BE A LOT CLOSER THAN MOST PEOPLE. 367 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:02,991 OH, MY, THAT IS SMALL. 368 00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:04,617 JUST WRITE IT DOWN, PLEASE. 369 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:05,869 CAN YOU BREATHE OKAY? 370 00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:07,829 WHAT KEEPS YOUR GLASSES ON? 371 00:13:07,871 --> 00:13:09,080 HEY, IT'S ON THE LIST, EVERYBODY. 372 00:13:09,122 --> 00:13:11,332 NO, I HAVEN'T FINISHED WRITING. 373 00:13:11,374 --> 00:13:12,834 DID YOU SNEEZE IT OFF? 374 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:14,586 THAT'S IT! NO MORE. 375 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,880 OKAY, WHO ELSE? WHO ELSE? 376 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:18,298 EVERYBODY'S GOING TO GET THEIR CHANCE. 377 00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:20,675 COME ON. IF IT IS NOT ON THE LIST, IT IS FAIR GAME. 378 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,594 AND IF I FIND OUT, I WILL BE RUTHLESS. 379 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,179 UM, I'M A FOSTER CHILD. 380 00:13:24,220 --> 00:13:26,389 THAT'S SOMETHING I'M PRETTY SENSITIVE ABOUT. 381 00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,433 ERIN IS AN ORPHAN. 382 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:29,684 NO, I HAVE PARENTS. 383 00:13:29,726 --> 00:13:31,186 I JUST-- I WASN'T RAISED BY THEM. 384 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:35,106 OKAY, OKAY. HEY, RELAX, ANNIE, ALL RIGHT? 385 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,817 WE GOT CRAZY STORY COVERED. ANYBODY ELSE? 386 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,612 I DON'T WANT PEOPLE MAKING FUN OF MY WEIGHT. 387 00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:41,821 OKAY, THAT'S TOO BROAD. 388 00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:42,906 IT'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING ELSE. 389 00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,199 HOW ABOUT YOUR STOMACH? 390 00:13:44,240 --> 00:13:46,034 YEAH? 391 00:13:46,076 --> 00:13:47,827 WHO ELSE? 392 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:50,705 I'M VERY SENSITIVE ABOUT MY PETITE FIGURE. 393 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:52,374 OH, GOD. 394 00:13:52,415 --> 00:13:55,960 I AM, I'M AFRAID OF BEING THROWN AROUND LIKE A FOOTBALL. 395 00:13:56,002 --> 00:13:57,045 WELL, YOU KNOW, NICOLE RICHIE 396 00:13:57,087 --> 00:13:58,546 MIGHT THINK THAT YOU WERE FAT. 397 00:13:58,588 --> 00:14:00,382 DOES THAT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER? 398 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,466 MEREDITH? 399 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,717 I DON'T WANT TO SAY IT OUT LOUD. 400 00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:04,135 OKAY, FINE. COME ON UP HERE. 401 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:05,095 WRITE IT YOURSELF, 402 00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,097 AND DON'T SIGN YOUR NAME TO IT, 403 00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:09,724 AND NOBODY LOOK. 404 00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:12,519 EVERYBODY LOOK AWAY. LOOK AWAY. 405 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,604 WELL, I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO PUT IT ON THE BOARD, 406 00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:18,483 BUT I THOUGHT MAYBE IT WAS GONNA COME OUT SOMEHOW, SO... 407 00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:19,943 WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? 408 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,199 OKAY. 409 00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:27,784 PHYLLIS, WHATCHA GOT? 410 00:14:27,826 --> 00:14:30,286 OOH, ACID REFLUX. 411 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,917 OKAY. 412 00:14:35,959 --> 00:14:37,585 WHO ELSE? WHO ELSE? WHO ELSE? 413 00:14:37,627 --> 00:14:39,212 SOME OF YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED 414 00:14:39,254 --> 00:14:44,300 I'M IN A KIND OF ILL-DEFINED, UH, RELATIONSHIP 415 00:14:44,342 --> 00:14:45,593 TYPE OF THING. 416 00:14:45,635 --> 00:14:47,345 OKAY, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO WRITE? 417 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,555 JUST PUT KELLY. 418 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:50,098 - AW. - THAT'S STILL GOING ON? 419 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,599 I WILL CLAW YOUR TINY NOSE OFF. 420 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,309 IT'S ON THE LIST. 421 00:14:53,351 --> 00:14:54,811 CREED, YOUR TURN. 422 00:14:54,853 --> 00:14:56,730 IF I WRITE IT DOWN, I CAN'T BE CHARGED WITH IT. 423 00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,732 AH, AH, NO ONE SAID THAT. 424 00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:00,483 THAT IS OUR SALES PITCH, 425 00:15:00,525 --> 00:15:02,402 AND WE ARE STICKIN' TO IT. 426 00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:03,653 [Pam laughs uncomfortably] 427 00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,655 WELL, YOU TWO ARE QUITE THE SALESMEN, 428 00:15:05,697 --> 00:15:07,323 AND A VERY CUTE COUPLE. 429 00:15:07,365 --> 00:15:08,616 OH. 430 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:11,786 WELL, IT'S... 431 00:15:11,828 --> 00:15:13,288 - THANK YOU. - THANK YOU. 432 00:15:13,329 --> 00:15:15,582 SOME COUPLES DON'T SEEM LIKE A GOOD MATCH, 433 00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,459 BUT YOU TWO DO. 434 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,752 WELL, YOU KNOW. 435 00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,920 YEAH, YOU KNOW, TWO PEAS IN A POD. 436 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,214 WE COMPLETE EACH OTHER. 437 00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:24,924 WHAT CAN I SAY? SHE LOVES TO COOK... 438 00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:26,926 HE LOVES TO EAT. 439 00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:28,428 I LOVE TO DANCE. 440 00:15:28,470 --> 00:15:29,804 I LOVE TO WATCH HIM DANCE. 441 00:15:29,846 --> 00:15:31,681 RIGHT, SOMETIMES I'LL JUST DANCE 442 00:15:31,723 --> 00:15:32,807 FOR HOURS IN THE LIVING ROOM... 443 00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:34,184 AND I'LL WATCH HIM. 444 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,853 AND A BABY ON THE WAY? YOU MUST BE SO EXCITED. 445 00:15:36,895 --> 00:15:38,646 - MM. - YES. 446 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:40,231 YEAH, WE ARE THRILLED. 447 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,609 IN FACT, WE SPENT THE WHOLE WEEKEND 448 00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:44,652 RESEARCHING VARIOUS BIRTHING COACHES. 449 00:15:44,694 --> 00:15:45,695 WASN'T THAT FUN, HONEY? 450 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,072 - IT WAS, SWEETIE. - YEAH. 451 00:15:47,113 --> 00:15:48,490 OH, I KNOW THE BEST TEACHER. 452 00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,699 HER NAME'S MISS JANET. 453 00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,368 YEAH, ON CLEARVIEW AVENUE. 454 00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:52,369 YEAH! 455 00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:54,079 YEAH. 456 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,164 THIS SOUNDS RIDICULOUS, I KNOW, 457 00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:58,875 BUT SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT I EAT LIKE A SQUIRREL. 458 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:00,585 SO NOW YOU'RE COMPARING YOURSELF 459 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,546 TO A CUTE, TINY ANIMAL? 460 00:16:03,588 --> 00:16:04,756 - UM, MICHAEL? - HMM? 461 00:16:04,798 --> 00:16:06,675 THE CUSTODIAN CALLED AGAIN. 462 00:16:06,716 --> 00:16:08,593 APPARENTLY, A KOI HAS DIED. 463 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,678 all: OH! 464 00:16:09,719 --> 00:16:10,970 IT'S A FISH. 465 00:16:11,012 --> 00:16:12,889 THEY WANT YOU TO PAY FOR IT. 466 00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:14,683 IT COULD HAVE DIED OF NATURAL CAUSES, THOUGH. 467 00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:16,559 WELL, THEY SAID YOU STEPPED ON ITS HEAD. 468 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,853 HE DID NOT SUFFER. 469 00:16:18,895 --> 00:16:20,939 UM, WHEN IS THE FUNERAL? 470 00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,525 DO NOT MOCK, OSCAR. DO NOT MOCK. 471 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:24,693 HOW MUCH DO THEY WANT? 472 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,778 - $300. - WHAT? NO. 473 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:29,197 I COULD GET A FISH FOR A FIVE-CENT WORM. 474 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:31,658 OH, YOU'RE PAYING WAY TOO MUCH FOR WORMS, MAN. 475 00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,159 WHO'S YOUR WORM GUY? 476 00:16:33,201 --> 00:16:35,870 OKAY, GREAT MEETING, EVERYBODY. THAT'S IT. 477 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,497 - NO, NO. - THANK YOU. 478 00:16:37,539 --> 00:16:39,290 NO! WE ARE NOT DONE HERE. 479 00:16:39,332 --> 00:16:40,709 THIS-- 480 00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:42,377 I HAVE SPENT YEARS 481 00:16:42,419 --> 00:16:45,922 MAKING SURE PEOPLE IN THIS OFFICE RESPECT ME. 482 00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:49,634 AND IN ONE SPLASH, IT ALL FALLS APART. 483 00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:50,802 ONE OF THE BABY BOOKS SUGGESTS 484 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,679 THE BEST BIRTHING POSTURE IS ON ALL FOURS 485 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:53,847 LIKE AN ANIMAL. 486 00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,765 I JUST WISH I HAD A SPECIAL TELEPHONE 487 00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,183 SO I COULD FIND OUT EXACTLY 488 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,811 WHAT THE LITTLE SOYBEAN WANTS, RIGHT? 489 00:16:59,853 --> 00:17:02,689 HEY, LIL' SOYBEAN, WHAT DO YOU WANT? 490 00:17:02,731 --> 00:17:04,941 RIGHT. HOW DO-- 491 00:17:06,609 --> 00:17:07,819 IT--I FELT A KICK. 492 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:09,070 OH, THAT'S GREAT. 493 00:17:09,112 --> 00:17:10,864 OH, MY GOSH, LIKE A LITTLE MAGICAL FOOT 494 00:17:10,905 --> 00:17:12,198 JUST HIGH-FIVED ME. 495 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,700 YEAH. WELL, THAT'LL HAPPEN. 496 00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:15,368 OH, MY GOSH. 497 00:17:15,410 --> 00:17:16,745 IT'S LIKE HE'S TRYING TO SAY, 498 00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,747 "I LOVE YOU TOO, DADDY." 499 00:17:18,788 --> 00:17:19,831 I LOVE YOU, TOO. 500 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,458 SOMETIMES WE'RE SO EXCITED, 501 00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:22,542 WE FORGET WHERE WE ARE... 502 00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:26,254 - MM! - LIKE AT A BUSINESS MEETING. 503 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,590 MESSAGE RECEIVED, LIL' SOYBEAN. 504 00:17:28,631 --> 00:17:30,258 I THINK YOU JUST GOTTA RIDE THIS ONE OUT, MAN. 505 00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,677 NO, JIM, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. 506 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,013 THINGS LIKE THIS JUST DON'T DIE. 507 00:17:35,055 --> 00:17:37,932 KIDS IN HIGH SCHOOL STILL CALL ME PONYTAIL. 508 00:17:37,974 --> 00:17:40,101 - NO, THEY DON'T. - YES, THEY DO, JIM. 509 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,520 BECAUSE OF THE TIME I GOT MY PONYTAIL 510 00:17:42,562 --> 00:17:43,855 STUCK IN THE POWER DRILL. 511 00:17:43,897 --> 00:17:44,814 I'M SURE YOU'RE BEING PARANOID. 512 00:17:44,856 --> 00:17:47,025 AM I? 513 00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:48,360 [line trilling] 514 00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:50,278 IS THAT YOU, PONYTAIL? 515 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:53,948 MICHAEL, I THINK YOU JUST NEED 516 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,742 TO TRY TO DIFFUSE THE SITUATION. 517 00:17:55,784 --> 00:17:57,535 MAYBE IF YOU MAKE FUN OF YOURSELF, 518 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:58,620 IT'LL ALL GO AWAY. 519 00:17:58,661 --> 00:17:59,788 I WANT TO MAKE FUN OF YOU RIGHT NOW. 520 00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,790 REALLY? DO IT. 521 00:18:01,831 --> 00:18:04,209 I AM A BIG, STUPID GOOFBALL. 522 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:05,794 NO, DON'T DO THAT. YOU'RE NOT. 523 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,254 YOU'RE NOT STUPID. 524 00:18:08,296 --> 00:18:10,465 SEE? 525 00:18:10,507 --> 00:18:11,841 OH, MY GOD. 526 00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,760 HEY, I-- 527 00:18:13,802 --> 00:18:14,928 I JUST WANT TO SAY 528 00:18:14,969 --> 00:18:17,222 THAT I CANNOT BELIEVE 529 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,265 THAT I WALKED INTO A KOI POND. 530 00:18:19,307 --> 00:18:21,601 I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, WALK MUCH? 531 00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:22,686 [laughs] 532 00:18:22,727 --> 00:18:25,063 OH! I SHOULD WEAR A SNORKEL 533 00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:26,940 TO THE NEXT BUSINESS MEETING THAT I GO TO. 534 00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,983 MICHAEL, YOU KNOW, WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT, 535 00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,110 IT'S NOT ALL YOUR FAULT. 536 00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:32,153 I MEAN, WHO PUTS A KOI POND IN A LOBBY? 537 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:35,073 WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT, PHYLLIS, 538 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,783 BUT I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. 539 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:38,076 I'VE SEEN THAT POND. 540 00:18:38,118 --> 00:18:39,160 THIS IS THE THING, 541 00:18:39,202 --> 00:18:40,995 I AM A WORLD-CLASS MORON. 542 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,664 MICHAEL, PLEASE, STOP IT NOW. 543 00:18:42,706 --> 00:18:43,873 YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF. 544 00:18:43,915 --> 00:18:45,125 IT'S OKAY. WE'RE HAVING FUN. 545 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,167 IT'S ACTUALLY NOT THE FIRST TIME 546 00:18:46,209 --> 00:18:48,294 I'VE BEEN EMBARRASSED BY A POND. 547 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,504 [laughs] WELL... 548 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:51,589 IN HIGH SCHOOL, THE GIRL'S VOLLEYBALL TEAM 549 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,591 ALWAYS USED TO THROW ME INTO THE FROZEN LAKE. 550 00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:54,843 FOUR YEARS IN A ROW. 551 00:18:54,884 --> 00:18:56,261 [uncomfortable laughter] 552 00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:58,680 HA! OH! IT WAS FREEZING! 553 00:18:58,722 --> 00:19:00,015 NO, NO, NO! 554 00:19:00,056 --> 00:19:02,183 OH, THIS IS EVEN WORSE. 555 00:19:02,225 --> 00:19:03,268 COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, 556 00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:04,936 I WENT TO GET A NEW CELL PHONE, 557 00:19:04,978 --> 00:19:06,521 AND I WANTED ONE OF THOSE PACKAGES 558 00:19:06,563 --> 00:19:08,606 WHERE YOU HAVE THE FIVE-- YOU KNOW, THE FRIENDS, 559 00:19:08,648 --> 00:19:09,983 FRIENDS AND FAMILY THING? 560 00:19:10,025 --> 00:19:11,901 AND THE GUY WAS LIKE, "WHO ARE YOUR FIVE FRIENDS?" 561 00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:13,737 AND I'M LIKE, "UH..." 562 00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:14,863 I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW! 563 00:19:14,904 --> 00:19:16,573 I COULDN'T EVEN THINK. 564 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:19,409 OH, MY GOD! IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING! 565 00:19:19,451 --> 00:19:21,244 THAT WAS, WELL... 566 00:19:21,286 --> 00:19:23,872 I DON'T EVEN HAVE JAN'S CELL PHONE NUMBER, 567 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,582 AND I HATE HER! 568 00:19:25,623 --> 00:19:27,375 SHE WON'T GIVE IT TO ME. 569 00:19:27,417 --> 00:19:29,878 IT'S LIKE, OH, WELL, I GUESS I'M A LOSER. 570 00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:34,382 A LOO-HOO-HOO-HOO-SER! 571 00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:35,675 TOO FAR! 572 00:19:35,717 --> 00:19:37,761 GOD! 573 00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,929 THANKS A LOT, MAN. 574 00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,431 THANKS FOR THE ADVICE. 575 00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:51,232 [almond crunching] 576 00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:54,986 ENJOYING YOUR NUT? 577 00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,071 - KEVIN. - WHY? 578 00:19:56,112 --> 00:19:57,155 I'M NOT MOCKING. 579 00:19:57,197 --> 00:19:59,115 I WAS JUST MAKING AN OBSERVATION 580 00:19:59,157 --> 00:20:00,825 ABOUT HER...NUT. 581 00:20:00,867 --> 00:20:02,202 I WAS. [phone chimes] 582 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,829 HEY, WHO WANTS TO WATCH MICHAEL'S POND DIVE? 583 00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:08,625 MY ROOMMATE'S FRIEND IS THE NIGHT JANITOR OVER THERE. 584 00:20:08,667 --> 00:20:11,002 HE SWIPED THE SECURITY TAPE FOR ME, 585 00:20:11,044 --> 00:20:12,337 AND HE'S BRINGING IT OVER. 586 00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:15,215 - YES. - EX-CONS ARE GREAT. 587 00:20:15,256 --> 00:20:16,675 MM, YOU KNOW WHAT? 588 00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:19,302 MAYBE WE SHOULD GO EASY ON MICHAEL, GUYS. 589 00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:20,428 YOU KNOW, YOU WATCH THAT TAPE, 590 00:20:20,470 --> 00:20:21,513 AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO STAY LATE 591 00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:24,140 FOR MORE SENSITIVITY TRAINING, SO... 592 00:20:24,182 --> 00:20:26,267 WE'LL STAY LATE. 593 00:20:27,852 --> 00:20:30,355 YOU ARE NOT A JOKE. 594 00:20:30,397 --> 00:20:32,232 - I AM. - YOU ARE SMART. 595 00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,442 - JIM IS SMARTER. - YOU ARE HANDSOME. 596 00:20:34,484 --> 00:20:37,612 - JIM IS MORE HANDSOME. - NO, JIM IS UGLY. PLEASE. 597 00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:40,281 I MEAN, I'D GIVE ANYTHING FOR HIS NOSE, IT'S TRUE. 598 00:20:40,323 --> 00:20:42,867 BUT THE REST OF HIM, GOD, HE LOOKS LIKE POPEYE'S WIFE. 599 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,036 YEAH, WILMA. 600 00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,246 SEE? THAT IS FUNNY. 601 00:20:46,287 --> 00:20:47,706 THAT IS A JOKE. 602 00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:51,167 I KNOW JOKES, AND YOU ARE NOT A JOKE. 603 00:20:51,209 --> 00:20:53,753 HER NAME'S NOT WILMA? 604 00:20:53,795 --> 00:20:56,089 STOP MAKING ME LAUGH. 605 00:20:56,131 --> 00:20:57,132 WELL, THAT WENT PRETTY WELL. 606 00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,341 YEAH, I GUESS. 607 00:20:58,383 --> 00:21:00,343 WE GOT A MAYBE. WAS OUR FIRST MAYBE. 608 00:21:00,385 --> 00:21:03,221 GOING BY THE NARD-DOG CURVE, I'D SAY WE NAILED IT. 609 00:21:03,263 --> 00:21:04,389 IF I'M BEING COMPLETELY HONEST, 610 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,974 I COULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT THE BELLY KISS. 611 00:21:06,016 --> 00:21:07,142 YOU KNOW WHAT? 612 00:21:07,183 --> 00:21:09,102 I'M SORRY, 'CAUSE IN THAT MOMENT, 613 00:21:09,144 --> 00:21:11,104 I KNEW I WAS KISSING YOUR BELLY TOO MUCH. 614 00:21:11,146 --> 00:21:12,605 - YEAH, WAY TOO MUCH. - YEAH. 615 00:21:12,647 --> 00:21:14,524 I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? 616 00:21:14,566 --> 00:21:15,900 WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT? 617 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:16,943 WHEN YOU CRIED. 618 00:21:16,985 --> 00:21:19,654 AH! TRY "ALMOST CRIED," OKAY? 619 00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,322 I JUST GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE FANTASY. 620 00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,657 YOUR FANTASY INVOLVES 621 00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:25,243 COMPARISON SHOPPING BIRTHING CLASSES? 622 00:21:25,285 --> 00:21:27,912 NO. I KNOW I'M GONNA GO WITH MISS JANET. 623 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,414 I JUST... 624 00:21:29,456 --> 00:21:31,666 I DON'T KNOW, IT WAS FUN TO ROLE-PLAY, RIGHT? 625 00:21:31,708 --> 00:21:32,542 HMM. 626 00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,294 I MEAN, IT'S FUN FOR ME, 627 00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:36,087 HAVING A WIFE AND A LITTLE BABY. 628 00:21:36,129 --> 00:21:37,255 [sighs] 629 00:21:37,297 --> 00:21:39,424 I'M SO SICK OF BEING SINGLE. 630 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:41,593 WELL, ARE YOU DATING ANYONE? 631 00:21:41,634 --> 00:21:43,261 WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ERIN? 632 00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:45,930 I MEAN, SHE'S-- SHE'S KINDA COOL. 633 00:21:45,972 --> 00:21:46,973 EH. 634 00:21:47,015 --> 00:21:48,892 YOU THINK I CAN DO BETTER? 635 00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:50,643 EH. 636 00:21:50,685 --> 00:21:52,562 I GOTTA GET MY GOIN' OUT ON. 637 00:21:54,356 --> 00:21:56,858 HEY, YOU CAN'T JUST GIVE ME A STACK OF RECEIPTS. 638 00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,985 IT'S NOT MY JOB TO WRITE UP YOUR EXPENSE REPORT. 639 00:21:59,027 --> 00:22:01,196 JUST DO IT, OR I'LL PUNCH YOU LIKE A FOOTBALL. 640 00:22:01,237 --> 00:22:03,490 OH, IS THAT WHAT YOU DID WITH THAT AL QAEDA GUY IN BED? 641 00:22:03,531 --> 00:22:05,283 HE WASN'T AN AL QAEDA GUY. 642 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:07,118 HE JUST WANTED PUERTO RICO TO BECOME A STATE. 643 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:08,244 UGH. 644 00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:09,662 - HELLO, MA'AM. - HEY. 645 00:22:09,704 --> 00:22:12,290 STACEY. THANK YOU SO MUCH. 646 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:13,792 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA LEAVE IT OUTSIDE. 647 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:16,044 DUDE, I TOTALLY OWE YOU A CARTON OF CIGARETTES. 648 00:22:16,086 --> 00:22:18,254 HEY, LET'S WATCH THIS THING! 649 00:22:18,296 --> 00:22:19,714 WHOA! OH, WHOA, OKAY. 650 00:22:19,756 --> 00:22:21,341 YEAH, WE'RE NOT WATCHING THIS. 651 00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,592 HOW CAN WE NOT WATCH THIS? 652 00:22:22,634 --> 00:22:24,219 WHAT HAPPENED TO "DO NOT MOCK"? 653 00:22:24,260 --> 00:22:25,637 WE'RE NOT MOCKING. WE'RE WATCHING. 654 00:22:25,679 --> 00:22:27,639 THAT WILL INEVITABLY LEAD TO MOCKING. 655 00:22:27,681 --> 00:22:29,057 WELL, WE'LL DEAL WITH IT AS IT COMES. 656 00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:30,308 IS THIS THE TAPE OF ME FALLING? 657 00:22:30,350 --> 00:22:31,726 - YES, PUT THE DVD IN. - YEP. 658 00:22:31,768 --> 00:22:32,977 - OPEN UP QUICKTIME. - IT STARTS ON THE SONG. 659 00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:34,813 NO, USE QUICKTIME. TRUST ME, I'VE DONE THIS. 660 00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,065 GUYS, MICHAEL CAN'T HANDLE THIS, 661 00:22:37,107 --> 00:22:39,442 AND AS YOUR BOSS, I'M SAYING WE'RE NOT WATCHING IT. 662 00:22:39,484 --> 00:22:40,902 NO, IT'S OKAY. WATCH IT. 663 00:22:40,944 --> 00:22:42,070 HE CAN'T FIRE ALL OF YOU. 664 00:22:42,112 --> 00:22:43,154 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 665 00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:44,656 IT'S ALL RIGHT. I CAN HANDLE IT. 666 00:22:44,698 --> 00:22:46,116 - NO. - I AM A GROWN-UP, JIM. 667 00:22:46,157 --> 00:22:47,325 SHH! IT'S ON. 668 00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,827 THERE THEY COME. 669 00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:49,994 all: OH! 670 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,538 BOOM! 671 00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:53,456 - DID--DID YOU SEE THAT? - SEE WHAT? 672 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:54,749 WAIT, WHY'D YOU STOP IT? 673 00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:56,501 OSCAR, YES, YOU'RE RIGHT TO STOP IT. 674 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:57,877 THANK YOU. EJECT IT. 675 00:22:57,919 --> 00:23:00,672 - JIM, YOU LET MICHAEL FALL IN. - PLAY IT AGAIN. 676 00:23:02,757 --> 00:23:04,342 all: OHH! 677 00:23:04,384 --> 00:23:07,345 HE PURPOSEFULLY LEANED AWAY AND LET YOU FALL. 678 00:23:07,387 --> 00:23:09,389 [chuckling] OH, MAN. 679 00:23:12,475 --> 00:23:14,519 I THINK WHEN I STARTED TO SEE YOU GO IN, 680 00:23:14,561 --> 00:23:16,021 I THINK I JUST FROZE. 681 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:17,230 I DON'T THINK YOU FROZE. 682 00:23:17,272 --> 00:23:19,149 COULD YOU ZOOM IN ON THAT, OSCAR? 683 00:23:19,190 --> 00:23:20,525 - I WANT TO-- - CAN'T ZOOM IN. 684 00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:22,068 COULD YOU ENHANCE THE PIXELATION OR SOMETHING? 685 00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:24,112 WE'RE AN OKAY PAPER COMPANY. THAT'S WHERE WE ARE. 686 00:23:24,154 --> 00:23:25,196 ZOOM AND ENHANCE IT. 687 00:23:25,238 --> 00:23:27,282 OKAY, I'LL DO IT. MAKE WAY. 688 00:23:27,323 --> 00:23:29,117 I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS. 689 00:23:29,159 --> 00:23:31,870 LET'S SEE WHAT THIS BABY CAN DO. 690 00:23:31,911 --> 00:23:34,706 ZOOM AND ENHANCE. 691 00:23:34,748 --> 00:23:36,916 OH, COME ON. [all groan] 692 00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:40,712 - WHAT DO YOU SEE? - AHA, RIGHT THERE! 693 00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:44,341 MICHAEL, HE PURPOSEFULLY LEANED AWAY AND LET YOU FALL. 694 00:23:44,382 --> 00:23:46,384 [Jim patting thighs] 695 00:23:46,426 --> 00:23:48,386 IT'S A KILLER NEW DANCE MOVE. 696 00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:52,265 DO YOU WANT TO TALK IN YOUR OFFICE? 697 00:23:52,307 --> 00:23:54,059 NO. 698 00:23:54,100 --> 00:23:56,269 I DIDN'T ASK YOU. 699 00:23:56,311 --> 00:23:57,854 WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK? 700 00:24:00,106 --> 00:24:01,066 [whispering] JUDAS. 701 00:24:01,107 --> 00:24:02,525 JIM IS MY ENEMY, 702 00:24:02,567 --> 00:24:05,403 BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT JIM IS ALSO HIS OWN WORST ENEMY. 703 00:24:05,445 --> 00:24:07,739 AND THE ENEMY OF MY ENEMY IS MY FRIEND, 704 00:24:07,781 --> 00:24:11,910 SO JIM IS ACTUALLY MY FRIEND. 705 00:24:11,951 --> 00:24:14,788 BUT BECAUSE HE IS HIS OWN WORST ENEMY, 706 00:24:14,829 --> 00:24:16,706 THE ENEMY OF MY FRIEND IS MY ENEMY, 707 00:24:16,748 --> 00:24:19,793 SO ACTUALLY, JIM IS MY ENEMY. 708 00:24:19,834 --> 00:24:21,044 BUT... 709 00:24:21,086 --> 00:24:22,921 I SHOULD HAVE GRABBED YOU. 710 00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:24,464 I'M SORRY. 711 00:24:24,506 --> 00:24:29,177 LOOK, I THOUGHT I COULD HAVE DONE TODAY'S SALES CALL ALONE. 712 00:24:29,219 --> 00:24:31,513 I MEAN, I MAY NEVER BE AS GOOD A SALESMAN AS YOU ARE, 713 00:24:31,554 --> 00:24:33,973 BUT I AT LEAST NEED THE CHANCE TO DO THE JOB. 714 00:24:35,684 --> 00:24:38,061 JIM IS JEALOUS OF ME? 715 00:24:41,189 --> 00:24:44,526 JIM IS JEALOUS OF ME. 716 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:47,070 HEY, ERIN, DO YOU MIND FAXING THIS FOR ME? 717 00:24:47,112 --> 00:24:48,279 OH, SURE. OH, WAIT. 718 00:24:48,321 --> 00:24:49,447 HAND THEM TO ME UPSIDE DOWN 719 00:24:49,489 --> 00:24:50,824 SO I DON'T ACCIDENTALLY READ THEM. 720 00:24:52,742 --> 00:24:53,868 OKAY. 721 00:24:53,910 --> 00:24:54,869 THANKS. MM-HMM. 722 00:24:54,911 --> 00:24:56,496 HOW DID TODAY GO, BY THE WAY? 723 00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:58,289 - DID YOU MAKE ANY SALES? - NO. 724 00:24:58,331 --> 00:25:00,041 IT WAS A TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. 725 00:25:02,127 --> 00:25:04,170 UM, IT WAS FUN, THOUGH, 726 00:25:04,212 --> 00:25:07,173 BECAUSE I GOT TO SPEND THE DAY WITH ANDY BERNARD. 727 00:25:07,215 --> 00:25:09,509 - HE'S REALLY COOL. - YEAH, HE IS. 728 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:11,011 YEAH, HE IS. 729 00:25:11,052 --> 00:25:13,430 HE'S, LIKE, THE COOLEST PERSON I'VE EVER MET. 730 00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:16,558 - THAT'S...RIGHT. - MM-HMM. 731 00:25:16,599 --> 00:25:18,476 HE'S LIKE MARLON BRANDO. 732 00:25:20,937 --> 00:25:23,314 OH, DO YOU MEAN MARLON WAYANS? 733 00:25:23,356 --> 00:25:24,983 'CAUSE HE IS. 734 00:25:25,025 --> 00:25:27,902 I ACTUALLY DO MEAN MARLON WAYANS, YEAH. 735 00:25:30,488 --> 00:25:32,449 HEY, WHAT'S UP, LIFEGUARD? 736 00:25:32,490 --> 00:25:33,992 JIM, I THINK I'M IN YOUR WAY. 737 00:25:34,034 --> 00:25:36,369 [both laughing] 738 00:25:40,540 --> 00:25:43,418 OSCAR'S A DOUCHE. 739 00:25:43,460 --> 00:25:45,086 [chuckles] 740 00:25:45,128 --> 00:25:46,296 NO, HE'S ALL RIGHT. 741 00:25:46,338 --> 00:25:48,131 NO, HE'S A-- 742 00:25:48,173 --> 00:25:49,674 YEAH, HE'S ALL RIGHT. 743 00:25:51,301 --> 00:25:52,802 OKAY. 744 00:25:57,140 --> 00:25:58,099 THANKS, MICHAEL. 745 00:25:58,141 --> 00:25:59,100 YOU'RE WELCOME. 746 00:25:59,142 --> 00:26:01,436 WHOA! ALMOST FELL. 747 00:26:01,478 --> 00:26:03,897 [laughing] 748 00:26:10,779 --> 00:26:13,573 OH, GOD, NO-- 749 00:26:13,615 --> 00:26:16,659 [moaning] 750 00:26:16,701 --> 00:26:18,578 - NO! NO! - OKAY, GET UP. 751 00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:25,543 - UH, MICHAEL... - OH, WHAT IS--NO! 752 00:26:27,253 --> 00:26:28,505 WHAT IS THAT? 753 00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:30,006 OH, GOD! 754 00:26:30,048 --> 00:26:31,549 - THERE'S FISH-- - STAND UP. 755 00:26:31,591 --> 00:26:33,134 - THERE'S FISH IN HERE. - STAND UP. 756 00:26:33,176 --> 00:26:34,928 GET UP. 757 00:26:34,969 --> 00:26:36,012 COME ON. 758 00:26:36,054 --> 00:26:39,015 [groaning] 759 00:26:42,811 --> 00:26:44,312 OKAY, HELP ME OUT. GET UP. 760 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:45,772 COME ON. 761 00:26:54,572 --> 00:26:57,534 {\an8}[cheerful music] 762 00:26:57,575 --> 00:27:04,708 {\an8}♪ ♪ 52239

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.