All language subtitles for In The Soup 1992 (Steve Buscemi)

- My father died the day I was born.

I was raised by Fyodor Dostoevsky
and Friedrich Nietzsche.

When I was 12 my mother took
me to a psychic who said

in a past life I was hit in
the head by a movie camera

and I died not knowing my own name.

He said that's why in this
lifetime I'd be allergic to film.

He must've had the wrong guy.

I'm a filmmaker.

Yeah, Ma.

Yeah, hey, I got the care package.

Yeah, thanks.

I'm taking the vitamins, yeah, yeah.

No, I feel a lot better now
since I've been taking them.

I'm working on the script, yeah.

Well, I got fired.

You know, well, I mean it's actually good,

because it gives me more
time to work on the script

and to meet people, you know.

Yeah, well I am gonna need
help with the rent again.

So do you think you can?

Thanks.

Listen, that'll be my
Christmas present, all right?

No no no, don't get me
a Christmas present,

just, you know, that'll be it.

Okay.

How you doing?

You okay, yeah?

Oh, listen, Ma, listen, I gotta go, okay?

All right, I'll call you back later.

Okay.

Buh bye.

New York, New York.

If I could take living there
I could take living anywhere.

Only problem is I'm broke.

It could be worse.

I could be a rat in a
laboratory experiment.

And you know, every great
artist had to suffer a little

before they got their big break.

And some have had to
suffer their whole lives

and ended up broke and dead
before they got their due.

But hey, I'm not worried.

Someday people are gonna know who I am.

Aldolfo Rollo.

- 15,

14,

13,

12,

11,

10,

nine,

eight,

seven,

six,

five,

four,

three,

two,

one.

Ready or not, here I come.

I thought you were someone.

- No, I...

Excuse me.

- I thought you were my nephew.

Okay, ready?

Get set, go!

Angelica.

You could be the star of my movie.

Such beauty and grace.

You turned this whole
coffee shop into a shrine.

Everything in here becomes holy.

I could sit here for hours ordering coffee

after sacred coffee from you, Angelica.

Hello Angie.

Hi Angie.

Hi.

Hey, your hair looks beautiful today.

- What's up Angie?

- Thank you.

For you.

Thank you.

Thank you very much.

It's about time
you changed the thing.

You're happy to see me.

I know you are because your face brightens

when I come around.

- You finished?

- Yeah, yes I am.

Did you find your nephew?

- Yes, that's it.

That's right, thank you, Mama.

Thank you.

Now, how about a song for a
lady who pays her rent on time?

- Yeah, she deserves it.

- High or low?

- I'll take low.

♪ You were on time, my friend ♪

♪ Bless your heart ♪

♪ Till we raise the rent again ♪

♪ You are the one ♪

- Hey, Mr. Hollywood.

- Don't sneak up behind us like that.

Did you like our singing?

- Oh, that was really beautiful,

I should put you in a movie or something.

- You're too cute.

- You know, before you put
us in a movie, Mr. Hollywood,

you know, where's the rent?

- You know, I called my
mother, she's gonna give me

the money, I'll have it for
you by the end of the week.

- The end of the week?
- Yeah, Sunday.

- Sunday?

Sunday's no good, you know, all the banks

are closed on Sunday.

- Oh, well Monday then.

- No, forget about
Monday, that's next week,

I want it this week.

- You have the money Friday.

I want the money.

Yeah, I want the money.

- By Friday.
- By Friday.

- Or I break your fucking skull.

- Or I'll break your fucking skull.

- That's all, like that.

- That's that, like that.

- Don't tell me, I'm
telling you it's like that.

You have the money Friday...

- Hey, let me, I'll do it...

- No, I'm doing it 'cause you can't.

- I'm doing it, what do
you mean you're doing it?

- You wanna work for me you
do it my way, you understand?

- Listen, I'm gonna grow, you understand?

- You're what?

- You told me I could grow in this job.

- In the garden you'll grow.

- Meet you in the garden.

Hey, hey come here.

You know, you put me in this
position, you understand?

No, here you are, you put
me in this position, okay?

I want the money Friday.-

- Okay.
- You understand?

- Yeah.

- And let me tell you something,

can a blind man direct a movie?

Huh?
- What?

- Yeah, can a blind man direct a movie?

- Come on, come on.

Go ahead, get outta here.

- Yeah, go ahead.

- This movie, is it black
and white or is it in color?

I don't know, I can't see.

Yeah, go ahead and laugh.

Enjoy yourselves.

One day you'll see.

I'll put you in a script and
it won't be so flattering.

Someday I'll come back in a limousine

to reminisce about my developing years

and they'll have mounted a plaque

on the front of this dingy building

with the words "Aldolfo Rollo lived here."

Tour buses will slowly pass by.

Fat German tourists will
shake their heads at the ruin.

Maybe there won't even be a
building standing any longer.

And the name Bafardi will
be buried under the rubble.

Why am I wasting my breath on you guys?

Today I've got a very important meeting

with some big producers.

- You know what we got?

We got a dog that can read your mind.

Are you propositioning my wife?

- That's his little joke,
but now look what's happened.

You're making the kid nervous.

Kid, you want a sucker or something?

- You know who he reminds me of, though?

He looks like a young Don
Knotts, you know Don Knotts?

Incredible Mr. Limpet, Son of Flubber?

- What, you mean the guy that blew up?

- What guy blew up?

- Guess who I see.

Who?

- Gary Cooper.

I see a young Gary Cooper.

- What I tell you, she's
got the eye, right?

Young Gary Cooper, listen,
you wanna make 100 bucks?

We're shooting something this weekend.

You show up at this address.

They were
interested in me, all right.

I'm just not sure for what.

Friday was coming and
I was down to nothing,

and 100 bucks is 100 bucks.

- Here you go, kids.

Get yourselves some Chinese food.

And thanks for adding
some class to our program.

Hey, Bubbles, look who's here,

it's Gary fuckin' Cooper, huh?

- Oh jeez, what was this
kid's real name, huh?

- Don Knotts, I don't know.

- Oh nevermind, nevermind.

Gary!

Gary, we're so happy to have you here,

we've been thinking a
lot about your potential.

Make yourself comfortable.

All right.

This kid looks so nervous,
like a fish on a hook.

Don't be nervous, kid,
you know we're gonna do?

It's a very pleasant atmosphere,

we ask you a couple questions

about your movie making career,

sometimes a person wants
to change their name

and that's okay by us, right?

- No problem.
- All right.

You set?

- Yeah, I guess so.

I get $100 for this, right?

- Oh, for Christ's sake
kid, after the show.

- Show him the money, why don't you,

makes him feel better maybe, right?

- Look, $100 after the show, no problem.

- All right, now you ready or
you wanna go to the bathroom

or something before we start?

No, I'm okay.

- Okay.

Then take your clothes off.

- You're kidding me, right?

- The show's called The Naked Truth, kid.

You can read, right, you're a writer.

The Naked Truth, we ask
people questions au naturale.

- You know, nude.

- In the buff?

- Like, butt fuckin' naked,

or am I getting a little
too crude for you there?

- Wait, wait a minute, I
didn't know about this.

- What, he doesn't watch the show?

- Look, what the fuck is this, you know?

100 bucks for half an hour,

you don't wanna do it,
get the fuck outta here.

Nice to meet you, Al,

we understand that you're a film director.

Are you most interested in romance movies?

All I got was 40 bucks.

It was a take it or leave it kinda thing.

I ate three pizzas and puked.

What was I gonna do?

I had sold everything.

What else could I sell?

No.

Not the script, Aldolfo.

My script, my chisel, my brush, not that.

Not for money.

♪ Friday's the day, my friend ♪

♪ If you don't pay, we're
gonna break your legs ♪

I figured it was worth at
least a couple of hundred.

After a week of no
takers, I got a phone call

from a guy named Joe.

No last name, just Joe.

I went straight over.

- Come in.

Aldolfo?

- Joe?

- Aldolfo.

I love that name.

Who gave it to you?

My mother.

- How about that.

Your mother.

You're perfect, kid.

Sit down.

Oh no, I'm not talking to
you, just get those bets down.

Caught you looking at it.

Smashed the fuck out of me in Vietnam.

If you believe that,
you'll believe anything.

1000.

For Christ's sakes, I love this kid.

Pick up the money, for crying out loud.

What a face.

Can I kiss that face?

Let me kiss it.

Dang, get in here, I want
you to give this kid a kiss

right on the face.

Oh jeez.

- Hi.

- Hi.

- Hi, he says hi to that?

He says hi?

So you wanna make a movie, right?

- Well I have a script.

- I guess you do.

Jesus.

I may be outta my mind.

But I wanna be involved.

What I'm saying is,

I wanna be in business with you.

In the soup, you know?

Hey, will you cut that shit out?

You're in the presence of an artist.

A creator!

- I am art.

- What she means

is that she loves the art of loving.

There there there.

That's real art.

Aldolfo.

I might have to get back
to you on this movie thing.

But meantime, take that money.

- Thanks.

- Aldolfo.

You need this, right?

I mean you can't make a movie
without a script, right?

- Right.

- Give him a kiss goodbye.

Yeah.

Aldolfo!

Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

- 1000 clamatos.

It's gotta be worth a
couple of minutes of film.

Hello?

I love that hello!

- Joe, hi.

- So how much do you need for this movie?

- I really haven't made a budget yet.

- What use have I got for a budget?

This is an artistic project, right?

Yeah, right.

Right, so we're talking dollars.

- 250,000 maybe?

- No problem, we're covered.

Now I want you to meet me at Al Ruben's.

- Now?

I didn't say tomorrow, did I?

- Well I mean it's two a.m..

- Hey, you got any of
those movies you made?

Bring 'em along, we'll look at 'em later.

- Could it be this guy Joe
was what I was looking for?

On the surface he didn't
look like a producer type.

Not for Aldolfo Rollo, anyway.

Joe excused himself and left
me sandwiched between Dang

and Skippy, his hemophiliac brother.

How ya doing?

- My brother tells me you're okay.

Says you can be trusted.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

He wanted to be a priest.

He's got a very big heart.

Me, I don't have a heart.

You fuck with my brother I'm
gonna rip your eyelids off

and I'm gonna paste 'em on
your asshole, you got it?

- You having the sweet breads?

I love this kid.

I trust him, what do you think, Skippy?

Don't worry about Skippy.

He's tough to get to know.

But once you get to know
him, you never forget him.

That's my mother.

Yeah.

- She's like the angel and she
scares away the devil guys.

- Yeah.

I get it.

- Oh, see here's the part
where she's casting her spell,

and the devil guy gets really
nervous and he runs away.

Oh oh, and here's, okay,
the character goes over,

he goes over to the doorway, the guy sees

his past and his future
all in the same moment...

- Yeah, I got it, it's good stuff, kid.

Yeah.

And I like the black and white, too.

It reminds me of The Honeymooners.

- Or Renoir, early Goddard.

- Yeah.

Why not.

- Why doesn't it have any music?

- Well, because I'll only have music

if you see somebody playing an instrument.

- That's it, let's go.

See Skippy, I told you he was an artist.

I love that kid.

You got talent, real talent.

- Thank you.

- Talent, right Skippy?

- Sure.

- Listen, I gotta get up early tomorrow,

starting getting you that 250,000.

- I'll drive him home.

- I can walk.

- I'll drive.

- Okay.

Thanks.

- So I'll be in touch with you.

And I loved it, I really did, I loved it.

You have to explain it to me sometime,

'cause you're like one of
those budding young things,

you know?

- Thanks, Joe.

- Hey, aren't you forgetting something?

- What?

- Don't you wanna give Joe a kiss goodbye?

- I guess if you want, you
can make a left up here,

just cut over to First Avenue,
shouldn't be too much traffic

this time of night.

Right here.

This is gonna sound
crazy, I'm a little tired,

but did I say First Avenue in Manhattan?

Yeah, 'cause I know
there's one in New Jersey.

- Shut up.

I got something I gotta pick up,

it'll go a lot faster if
you don't talk so much.

- Oh, all right, well, I guess
when we get to the other side

you can just let me out, I can
take a bus back or something.

- What'd I say?

- You gotta pick something up?

- I said shut up.

- Right.

- Fucking tunnels make me very nervous.

This guy Skippy
was turning out to be

a real jerk-off.

- What?

- Nothing, I didn't say nothing.

What would my poor mother say?

My son's missing.

Maybe they would find my
body, maybe they wouldn't.

I wondered what would happen
if I jumped out of a car

going 70 miles an hour.

Jeez.

- Are we there yet?

- What's it look like?

- I wanna drive, man, let me drive.

Yeah.

All right, you hold it, baby.

Yeah.

There we go.

Slide over there, kid.

There we go..

Ah, the open road.

- That party we were talking about

got caught in a northern part of the state

with two finger bones in
his right front pocket.

- Oh, man, that's that cult shit.

It's not for me.

What?

Cannibalism?

- No, cults, man.

Oh yeah.

Beautiful, fucking cold.

Ah, packing goods.

Man, great.

♪ I play my drum for
him, pa rum pa pa pum ♪

You guys have no Christmas spirit, man.

You kill it for me too.

- You mind?

- Well, I just wanted to tell you,

don't be sad because I'm
gonna put you in my movie.

- Who says I wanna me in a movie?

- Oh, this isn't going
to be just any movie,

it's gonna be good.

- You the writer?

- Yeah.

- You ever been on TV?

- No, no.

- Oh, 'cause my nephew,
he said he saw you on TV.

- Really?

I don't know, must've been somebody else.

She hates me.

But I love you, Angelica.

One day you'll see.

I'll dedicate my life's work to you.

Angelica.

Angelica.

Angelica.

Joe!

Jesus!

- You're in love with me.

- How did you get in here?

- Who's Angelica?

I'm jealous.

- How did you know where I lived?

- Take it easy, partner.

We're gonna have to
break through some walls

if we're gonna be working together.

No secrets, no locked doors.

Lie down, that's it.

So we're gonna make a motion picture.

I've decided I want art to be
an important part of my life.

When I die, I wanna
leave something behind.

- Look, I just got in from
a night with your brother.

- Ah, those guys wanna leave marks.

Anybody can do that.

Just put a hit on a guy, you leave a mark.

I want a legacy.

- I have principles, you know.

- Watch out for those.

Principles and women.

They'll get you every time.

- All I wanna do is make my movie.

- Why else am I in bed with you?

- No, cut it out!

All right, stop, stop!

- Okay, okay.

Tell me the story of our movie again.

Tell me, Aldolfo, tell me about it.

- Okay.

- Start at the beginning.

- Cut to medium shot of an intense,

mysterious, dark-haired woman.

She is an angel, literally.

And she's watching Alfred as he sleeps.

He feels her presence, her
energy, her massive beauty.

You know what I mean?

He just feels it.

She's a big angel.

- No, I mean, she's not
literally big, she's just,

I mean, she's a regular woman,
I don't want the audience

to know she's an angel at first.

This you learn later, you know?

- Yeah, but you said she's massive.

- No no, her beauty is massive,
it's like she exudes beauty.

You know what I mean?

That doesn't mean that she's big.

I mean she could be big, I
mean it could be a big woman

playing the part, I have
a few ideas, but you know.

Okay, so now the ping pong
ball's going back and forth,

back and forth, back and forth.

I'm thinking here maybe
we should cut to a closeup

of the ping pong ball.

I don't know, it might be more subtle

if you stay in the wide shot.

Joe.

This is where it all
comes together now, okay?

All right.

So Alfred is keeping score, right?

He turns to Nietzsche and he says,

it's your serve, Friedrich.

Nietzsche says, indeed, I serve mankind.

Suddenly the ping pong
ball explodes, all right?

Dostoevsky says nice shot.

- Aldolfo.

What page you on?

- Four.

- Four?

Yeah.

Okay, so now here's where
the angel starts crying,

but it's tears of blood.

- Aldolfo.

Huh?

- Shoot me.

'Cause if you read one more line,

I'm gonna shoot you.

Look kid, all I'm saying is
can't you do a simple story?

Like a love story?

Something that grabs you by the balls?

- Love story?

I mean that's been done like 1000 times.

- Correct me if I'm wrong,

but I love you always sounds fresh to me.

Just depends on who's saying it.

- Don't you understand, Joe?

I wanna do something
new, something different.

I don't think you're clear
on what you wanna do.

- Something like Renoir, Tarkovsky.

- No no, don't pull that shit.

- What shit?

- You know what I'm talking about.

Dropping names of painters
and famous artists.

Look, I've been to rock stars' houses.

They all shit in the same can.

Don't look down on people, Aldolfo.

It's unartistic.

And if you don't mind my opinion,

I think you're insecure, and
nothing comes from insecurity.

You want something, you
gotta reach in and grab it.

You can't doubt yourself.

Look, all I'm saying, I like
you, I think you're talented,

I wanna make your movie,
you're the artist,

I just wanna understand the goddamn thing.

This shit stinks,
I know this, okay?

- Who's that?

- It's my landlords.

- Your landlords talk like that?

- Man, I can't wait to see
the looks on their faces

when I pay the rent.

All over the
world, all over the world.

- No no.

Let me handle this.

Hey, what's all the noise, fellas?

Who the fuck are you?

- Oh, I'm just visiting my nephew Aldolfo.

Yeah?

Well you tell your nephew
Aldolfo he's out on his ass,

that's it, ba-bing ba-bang.

- Hey, now that's not a
nice way to talk, guys.

Come on in.

Come on in, we'll work something out.

- What?

Hey Aldolfo, how are ya?

- How much he owe you?

- Oh, about 1000, probably.

- What do you mean probably?

- What?

- It's 1000 or it's not.

- About 948.60...

- What is this, an auction?

- That's all?

What'd you say your name was?

- I'm Lewis and this is Frank.

- Bafardi.

- Bafardi.

Brooklyn, right?

- Brooklyn, right.

- I know a lotta guys from Brooklyn.

You know Ray Bernardo?

- You know Guy Lombardo?

- Yeah, I like him.

- Who's Guy Lombardo?

- He lives on the fifth floor, shh.

- Who's this guy?

- Listen, you tell Ray,

I want the 10,000 he
owes me for the fights,

that son of a bitch.

- What fights?

- Here.

- I tell you what.

Wait a minute.

It's Christmas, okay?

So why don't we just make
this like a little gift,

how's that?

No no no no.

- No no, I insist.

- You insist, no, I insist.

Leave your hand down.

Take it for Christmas.

Hi Aldolfo.

How's the heat?

Well the furnace broke
down, but other than that,

the heat's been all right, hasn't it?

No, it stinks.

- It stinks?

Frank, get on the heat,
didn't I tell ya that?

- What?

We just went downstairs, did
you see me open and lower?

- Yeah, but go more, more.

- You want more?

- More!

And I got that new toilet
bowl if you want it,

the one with the high back.
- Oh, thanks a lot.

Listen, while you guys are here,

I'd like to pay the rent
for the people next door.

- No no no, that's okay, it's Christmas.

- Oh no no, please,
that's okay, I'd like to.

- Oh no no no no, I'll tell ya what.

You know, we gave 'em
a few months extension.

So it's all right.

- Frank, that's very magnanimous of you.

Good night, boys.

Explain it.

That's enough with the animals, okay?

Let's do something artistic, Aldolfo.

Creative.

I got an idea.

You know when the main
character goes blind?

Yeah?

What if we
have just like 20 minutes

of black leader?

20 minutes?

Yeah.

What's the audience
gonna do, read it in braille?

All right, forget it.

What's with this disguise?

- I wanna take you for a ride.

Ho ho ho ho ho!

See that Porsche over there?

Nice, huh?

- If you like that kinda thing.

- If you like that kinda thing.

You kill me, kid.

You know how much that car is worth?

- I have no idea.

- 80,000 bucks, and 60,000
of it's in the engine.

The challenging thing
is it belongs to a cop.

- Well you're not thinking
of stealing it, are you?

- You don't think he earned
it on his salary, do ya?

Watch.

- Hey Joe, what...

Shit.

- Santa Claus!

- How you doing, kid?

- What are you doing with my daddy's car?

- Oh, I'm gonna take it back
to my parts repair place

at the North Pole.

- How you gonna get there?

- Well, I'll probably
start it and just drive it.

- Are you nuts?

- Hey, how you doing?

Here's my helper.

Marvin the Elf, say hello.

Come on, get in, Marvin.
- Hey! My Porsche!

- Get in there before it, god dammit.

- Jesus!

You're fuckin' crazy!

- You're fuckin' right I am!

But, you strip this
down, and in 20 minutes

you got enough money to buy a lot of film.

- Let me out of the car.

- What?

- Let me out of the fuckin' car now, Joe.

- What is it with you?

For Christ's sakes, I'm busting my ass

to get you the money to buy
film to make your movie,

and all you can think of is yourself?

- Yeah, myself, right, myself.

Would you pull over, man?

Let me out!

- Oh, okay, fine, here, get out.

Goodbye.

See you, Aldolfo.

- Open the door.

- Just open the door, get out.

Tootaloo.

You make me crazy like hell!

Shut up!

Hello?

- Yes?

- Yes, I am Gregoire, I am your neighbor.

May I pass by your fire escape?

I have lost my keys.

- I'm sorry...

- Yes, I am Gregoire, I am your neighbor.

I live in the place next door?

May I pass by your fire escape?

- You wanna what on my fire escape?

- Pass by, pass by, go.

Oh, go.

- Merci.

Merci.

Please.

It appears

the window is locked.

Sorry.

- Eh.

Merci.

- You okay?

- My wife.

She eats me.

- She what?

- She eats me!

Eats me!

Eats me, eats, eats me.

- Oh, hits you.

- Yes, she's violent!

Violent, terrible!

- Angelica?

Yes!

- Is your wife?

- She seems so sweet.

- Oh yes, she seems so sweet
to everyone else, you see.

She is so beautiful.

- Yes.

- You think my wife is beautiful?

You can say it.

- You're a lucky guy.

- I am so alone!

Can I sleep here?

- Here?

- On the floor.

Allow me.

Thank you.

- You know, last night, it was okay.

I let him stay with me.

I just thought you should know.

- Who?

Who?

- He said he was your husband.

- He told you that?

If I was you, I'd stay away from him.

- Son of a whore, I told
you to stay away from me.

- She forgot these.

- Find out who did this
in the hallway here.

Aldolfo?

- Yeah.

Yeah, Lewis, hi.

How's the heat?

- Oh, it's good.

- All right, listen, send
your regards to you know,

your uncle and the family, all right?

Okay.

- All right.

Hey, you're wasting your time,
there's nobody home there.

♪ Am I blue without you ♪

♪ Aldolfo, it's true ♪

- Christ, how the fuck do
you keep getting in here?

♪ I'm so blue ♪

I changed the lock on the
door, for Christ's sakes.

- Hey, when I was a kid
they called me Spiderman,

'cause I could climb all over
the backs of these tenements.

Weaving my web from window to window.

- I put fucking gates up,
how did you get in here?

- I'm magic, kid.

What do you want from me?

- What do I want from you?

How about a little imagination?

- Look Joe, I don't have anything, okay?

If I did I would give it to you.

What's this?

- Your cut of the money.

10% of 40,000, it's 4000, right?

Count it.

- I can't take this.

- Look, all I'm saying, for Christ's sake,

and you're not making it
very easy for me to say it.

I can trust you.

You know what that means, trust?

'Cause I look around me and I don't see

anyone else I can trust.

To be perfectly honest with you, kid,

you need me too.

Now if you're ready,
let's go to work, huh?

- What work?

- I can't explain it, I just gotta do it.

- I'm not committing any more crimes.

- Suit yourself.

- No more trouble.

Come on, let's go.

- No, no more trouble,
you gotta promise me.

If he's a friend of yours, then
how come you're breaking in?

- I can't ring the bell,
for Christ's sakes,

his wife hates my guts.

Follow me.

- Joe, come on, this is
breaking and entering!

I wanna go, come on.

- You can't.

You don't know how to bypass the alarm.

- Fuck.

Come on, let's go.

- Shh.

- Joe, I mean it, I can't take it anymore!

Please Joe, I can't take it anymore.

My mother would die if I got
arrested, would you please...

- Shut up.

Get in there and sit down.

I'm not leaving empty-handed.

- I didn't get your name.

My name?

- I don't know why, but I'm
always happy to see that face.

I...

What is it you do exactly?

- I wanna make a film.

- Really?

- That's a big thing
to wanna do, you know?

Me, I...

I'd love to make love to
my wife one more time.

Lose control, sloppy sex,
that's what I want, you know?

- Well why don't you do it?

- She's not around.

She died a while ago, I,

I don't know where I am, I
still don't know where I am,

I don't know what's going on with me.

I miss her so much I can't even,

I don't even know what
I'm doing, you know?

But she's, I...

- It's okay.

- I fucked around, I did all
kinds of things, you know,

other women, you know?

Broke her heart, broke her heart,

and a women's heart is broke,

she's gonna break something
back, you understand me?

I mean, you understand?

- Yeah, sure, yeah.

- I mean, maybe you'll
fuck the whole thing up too

yourself, you know.

I mean, I don't know why we gotta do it,

but we do it, you know?

You understand me?

- Yeah.

- All right.

I can't sleep,

I think I'm dying.

I'm dying.

- Well I bet you had your fun, right?

Oh sure I did.

- What are you doing up?

I couldn't sleep.

- You too?

- Yeah.

- Oh.

Look, I gotta go.

Yeah, we gotta go.

- You gotta go?

- Yeah.

- You gotta go, you gotta go.

Ooh.

Yeah.

I don't think I got your name.

Herman.

- Oh, Herman.

You and my son...

- Aldolfo.

I was in way over my head,

and Joe was pulling me
in deeper and deeper.

Something was happening to me.

Something I couldn't exactly explain.

I didn't know whether
to relax and enjoy it

or be scared out of my mind.

- Hey.

Coffee time.

It's wonderful watching you sleep.

- What happened?

- Don't say you don't remember.

It was magic, Aldolfo.

Magic.

That's my kid.

That's your kid?

Yep.

Really?

- Yeah.

- No.

- Yes it is.

- Why don't you go say hi to him?

- I can't.

His mother's got a court injunction.

I can't go anywhere near him.

So you just watch him like this?

- Sometimes.

Joe said before you make films,

you gotta make money, so we
went from one scam to the next.

I always knew there was more to a movie

than just making money,
but I was beginning to see

there was more to money
than just making movies.

I'd never seen so much money.

Money to buy things, like
flowers, fancy dinners, $100 tips.

We weren't saving it, we were blowing it.

Joe said not to worry
because when you spend money

it comes back to you twofold,

and that soon we'd have enough
money to double the budget.

Joe was part of my life now.

I even took him up to
visit my mom for Christmas.

They got along so well he
promised to take her to Honolulu

when the film wrapped.

Joe loved the beach.

Joe was getting more and more excited

about the film every day.

He suggested I make copies of the script.

452 pages, halfway to War and Peace.

300 leather bound copies
for the cast and crew

of the film Unconditional Surrender.

But instead of making my
movie I was living in his.

Although I had to admit, I
liked the taste of champagne.

Hello.

Hello?

Joe?

Come on, is that you, asshole?

- Martin.

Blah blah blah blah blah.

- Skippy?

Hello?

Oh, hi.

Will you open the door, please?

- Yeah.

Could you give me a minute?

Hi.

- Could I use your window?

I got locked out.

- Oh, sure, come on in.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

- 'Cause you look sick.

- Oh, no, I've just been
working a lot lately.

- What, selling drugs?

- That's a good one.

- Can you open the window?

- Yeah, sure.

I think it's frozen shut here.

- Who's this?

- Oh, that's Anna, Anna Manani,

she's one of my favorite actresses.

- It looks like she got a headache.

- Well, that's her intensity, she was,

actually, you remind
me of her a little bit.

If you have a few minutes,
I wouldn't mind showing you

my script, if you wanna
take a look at that part.

I think I'm gonna have
to get a screwdriver.

I was gonna return that,
sorry, he left it here

the night he spent...

- You see him, you tell
him he owes me $3000!

- Really, I don't even know him.

- Yeah, and he can take
that bullshit green card

and shove it so far up his nose,
he gotta get a diaper baby!

- Green card?

You married him for papers?

- Yeah, so?

- He's French.

- I made a mistake, my
English wasn't so good,

I couldn't tell.

I'm stupid, is that a crime?

- No no no, you're not stupid at all.

Hey, bilingualism, that's a good thing.

- That bastard took my money for papers,

I never even got them,
and then he had the nerve

to want to sleep with me,
can you believe that shit?!

It's no good, forget about it.

What?

- The shoe, I threw the other one out.

- Oh.

Listen, can I make you a cup of tea?

I'd really like to talk to you.

- Look, it's been nice talking to you,

but I gotta get up tomorrow
morning and go to work.

- Listen, I don't think that window's

gonna open till spring.

There you go.

You know, if you did the movie,

you wouldn't have to work
as a waitress anymore.

- Look, I got an uncle
and three kids to feed,

so why don't you just close the window

before you catch cold.

What's your name?

- Aldolfo.

- Thank you, Aldolfo.

- You're welcome.

- Did you sit on his lap?

- You okay?

What are you doing?

Huh?

What?

Hey hey hey, kid, come on...

- Stop, get off of him.

- Who's gonna clean up all this mess?

You think I'm gonna clean it up?!

What, you laughing at me?

Don't you start laughing at me.

I said to come over here right now!

What are you doing here?

Sorry, I heard

loud noises in here, I just thought

something was wrong, sorry.

- Yeah, well guess what, it's okay.

It's okay.

- All right.

Everything okay?

All right.

- What's the matter?

He doesn't want you to leave.

He thinks you're the flower man.

He watches you through the door

and he's got this idea that you're the guy

that brings the flowers.

And I'm allergic to them.

- Allergic.

- Will you stop that?

- I do bring the flowers.

I mean I send them.

- And why would you do that?

- Because you're the star of my movie.

- That's a little sick, right?

Paulie.

- No, listen.

I can't believe this, I came in here

and there were feathers flying all around,

and then you came in like an angel,

and that's what I want you to
play in the movie, an angel.

It's just perfect.

I mean, you're a natural.

Look.

An angel, you're perfect, I'm telling you.

You know, you're just an
angel, you're an angel.

- You're crazy.

You're completely crazy.

You're funny, I think you're funny.

- You're funny.

You're very funny.

- Hey.

That's nice.

Nice.

He likes you.

- What are you doing, Aldolfo?

You're making me nervous.

Will you sit down?

Eat your steak, it's getting cold.

- I can't.

- Why not?

It's a good piece of meat.

What's the matter?

- Nothing's the matter.

- Nothing's the matter?

Why you acting like this, then?

Well,

because, I just don't
see us making any film.

We keep talking about it, we
keep spending a lot of money.

I mean I appreciate everything
you've been doing for me,

but I just don't see how this
all connects to making a film.

- Aldolfo, what did I say?

What we're working on here is a bond.

A trust.

The foundation of all great
creation, you understand?

Bond, trust, foundation, that's
how you pull off Hitchcock.

Will you shut the fuck up?

We're tying to work in here.

- Come on, what are you doing?

- Don't you think they're
being inconsiderate, Aldolfo?

- I know those people, you
don't have to bang on the wall.

- Oh.

Aha, so that's Angelica.

You sure know to pick 'em,
kid, she's a real beauty.

- Not so loud, Joe.

- You mean you haven't
even talked to her yet?

- I talk to her.

- Well then let's invite her to dinner.

- No no no, don't...

- Yeah yeah.

Angelica, hey.

- Fuck.

Don't give out on me now.

- What?

- No!

Oh!

- No, Angelica, forget
him, he's an alcoholic.

Get over here.

Get over here.

Mine now!

Forever!

Hey!

I know you turned yourself
up about this, kid,

but I promise you, I'm
gonna make that movie.

- What happened?

- What, you mean next door?

- Yeah.

- You're right, they're nice people.

- Yeah?

- She'd love to.

- She'd love to what?

- Go out to dinner with us.

You, me, Angelica, Dang.

It'll be nice.

- No, no way.
- All right, I'll tell her.

- No no no no.

- That's my boy.

We're gonna have a great time.

Did you know that she's
a championship dancer?

I can't dance.

You'll learn.

Now, let us
begin to do the cha cha cha

basic step for the man.

Ready?

Step back with the right foot.

Next, step forward in
place on the left foot.

We have just completed the
basic step forward and back.

Now let us do the basic
step twice in succession

using the direction call...

- Please?

- It's great, you learned
to go forward and back.

- Please?

Stand with feet together,

weight over left foot.

Ready?

Cha cha cha, step forward, step back,

cha cha cha, step back, step forward.

- You're anticipating, that's why,

you're not listening to the thing.

- How can I listen if you talk to me?

- I didn't say a goddamn word.

- Yes you did, come on, Joe!

Can I do this?

I'm just getting this thing.

Cha cha cha,
step forward, step back,

cha cha cha, step back...

- Don't forget the shoulders.

- He talked so slow before,
now when the music starts,

he goes cha cha cha cha cha.

- The shoulders, you
gotta have the shoulders.

- This guy's an idiot.

- Honey, honey, you
gotta have the shoulders.

- See?

This is how slow he goes now.

Now when the music starts,
cha cha cha cha cha cha cha.

Cha cha cha...

- Just do it to the music.

- Why don't they have
the music slower then?

If it's a beginner's record.

- Trust me.

Now let us try
the basic step to the music.

- I got a...

- Now be quiet.

Ready?

Cha cha cha, step forward, step back,

cha cha cha...

- That's it, you're getting it.

That's it.

- It's impossible.

- No, you're getting it, don't stop.

I made reservations for dinner and a limo.

Without the directional call.

- A limo, isn't that a bit much?

- A bit much?

For us?

I say no.

- Is it?

- The rabbit runs around the
tree, goes down the hole,

comes back out, okay?

There.

And it's simple.

Just like tying a bow on your shoe.

Phew, what is that smell?

- It's cologne.

- Cologne?

Ugh.

It's terrible.

- What do you mean?

This is very expensive clove oil.

- Clove oil?

What are you, a salad?

Jesus.

- It smells bad?

- It smells terrible, here.

What you need is some of my stuff.

- Oh, Jesus Christ.

- That's it.

- Happy new year.

- Happy new year.

- Don't worry, it's plastic.

- Thank you.

- Bless you.

- I smell ham.

- Too much excitement?

- She said it's allergies.

- Allergies?

- You okay?

- I guess all that driving
around is what did it.

Maybe you better take me home.

- Oh, you don't feel like
going dancing anymore?

- No, I guess not.

- Hey, you wanna dance here?

Watch these feet.

I'll dance my ass off.

What do you want, the rumba?

What do you want, the conga?

Or I can do maybe a little ballet.

Joe had this
way of making people

feel important, even though you knew

he was taking you for a ride.

But that night I would've
ridden with him anywhere.

He was magic.

There was nothing he couldn't handle.

The only thing you could do was sit back

and see what would happen next.

- Hey, Aldolfo, we don't
need that dance joint.

The four of us, huh?

We're all that's important.

Forget about anything
I told you, this is it.

The man-made mountains
of Manhattan, and us,

four small micronisms in this universe.

But together, we're as big as the world.

That's what it's about.

Everyday's fine.

Club Manhattan, let's get
some champagne and go home.

- So what's, I'm trying,
what's the number?

- 555.

- 555.

- 4073.

- 4073.

Hello.

Hello.

- Gregoire.

Yes, Gregoire here.

- Bobby Asam from Queens.

Bobby Asam.

Guess what.

What?

- We just developed a mutual
friend, Angelica Pina.

- Pena.

- Pena, what's the difference?

My wife?

- Point is you owe her 3500.

- 3000.
- 3000.

- It's 3500 now.

I just bought the debt.

You bought?

- That's right.

Explain yourself, please.

- What the fuck is there to explain?

Okay, okay...

I thought you'd like that tone.

Okay, okay.

Okay, it's okay.

- Sounds good.

We can work something out.

- I'll send someone by.

Happy new year.

Angelica.

- What?

Show me the.

- Okay.

Okay.

Yeah?

- You're very good.

- Don't move the upper body,
just do it at the bottom.

Just the bottom?

Yeah.

- It just puts one purpose in my mind.

I look at you, the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.

Angelica.

- No, no.

- Let me see your face.

You have such a beautiful face.

Angelica.

- Get off of me!

- What'd you do?

Angelica.

What'd you do?

Angelica.

I didn't do anything.

- Angelica, wait a minute...

- Don't touch me.

- Come on, he's a little
out of control, I know,

but it's new year's.

- He had his tongue halfway down my throat

and you just stood there!

- I'm sorry.

I'm upset too.

- He's a pig!

- He's gonna be producing the movie.

You'll never even have to see
him once we start shooting.

- And what kinda movie are
you gonna make with that guy?

Crapman?

You're either stupid or dumb, Aldolfo.

It's a joke.

- Well what about us?

- What about us?

She forgot this.

- Give me that, Joe.

Give me that!

- Hey, you can't really blame me, can ya?

She's really gorgeous.

Those sexy, come-hither eyes.

Those dancing, pulsating thighs.

- Funny anymore, Joe!

- Listen.

Not gonna let this fuck things up, are ya?

Hey, that's just her way of
showing you that she loves you.

Come on, give Joe a kiss.

- Get off me!

Give us one kiss.

- Just don't forget, we start
shooting in a month, huh?

Let me in!

- Leave me alone!

Let me in!

- I'm trying to sleep!

Let me in!

Aldolfo!

Let me in, Aldolfo!

I know what you're doing!

You're practicing switching
hands without missing a stroke!

- Will you go away?!

- You little pecker jerk-off!

- Asshole.

- Happy new year!

Make your resolution.

Come on.

- All right, Joe, I forgive you, okay?

Come on, I gotta go to sleep.

- You gotta sleep?

What's wrong with this guy, huh?

- Oh, nothing, we're
making a movie, that's all.

He's just, only thing
is, kid, this is work,

you're just not seeing it, huh?

How about these two
girls, and they're very,

very interested in cinema.

- Why not?

- That's right.

- Why not?

Oh my god, come here.

- What?

- Why not?

She said that.

Great title for a movie, right?

- Why Not?

- Big letters, Why Not.

Why not one, why not two,
one for me, one for you.

Maybe two for you?

No, one, I think just one.

- Let me get some ice.

- Wait, wait, I don't have
anything to drink, really.

- No no no.

- Just go to a bar or something
and I'll meet you there.

- I thought you said this
guy was a director, Joe, huh?

What's the matter with him?

- He is, he is.

He was just born serious, that's all.

- Don't take your coat off.

- Come here, come here,
you take your coat off.

Listen, I want you to
go in there with Jackie,

she's got something to say to you,

and she's very talented.

She's got no hams, unlike...

- You got some fucking nerve...

- Hey, you want me to take Suzie,

and she and I will see you in the hallway

so fucking loud...
- Okay!

- I thought you'd see it.

Have a good time.

- Poker?

- Yeah, you bet.

Poker her, poker me.

You know, I know how to lose at this game?

- Here, hold this for me, will ya?

- Ah, shit.

- Oops.

Sorry.

Want some?

- No.

- Oh, that's right, you're depressed.

- Mind if I put my head in your lap?

- Hey look, why don't you use this pillow?

- No no no, I like the warmth.

- Look, why don't I
just give you a blowjob,

we call it a night.

- Please no.

I don't want that, okay?

- No?

- No, I don't.

- Oh, well, sorry.

I was just trying to help.

- I don't need any help, okay?

Especially from someone like you.

- Especially from someone like me?

Hey, you don't even know me, okay?

- I'm having a bad night, all right?

You know?

- Oh, well boohoo, do I
look like I'm having a ball?

- Hey, I didn't invite you in here.

- Well look, I'm stuck here
until whenever, I don't know.

- Well fine.

- Well fine.

Stay depressed.

Are you most
interested in romance movies?

I really
don't think, I don't know

how to answer that question.

- Oh my god.

This kid is not very talkative.

- No, give me that.

- That's you on The Naked Truth.

Oh my god.

Hey you guys, you gotta come here!

- Hey, hey, shut up.

It's something I did for money, okay?

- Oh my god, that is so sleazy,
I wouldn't be caught dead

on The Naked Truth, I am sorry, buddy.

- I didn't know what kind of show it was.

- That is unbelievable.

That is you on The Naked Truth.

I did it for exposure.

Yeah, well
you've got it, all right.

- Shut this off, please?

- That is so bad.

Yeah, you're all right.

Hmm?

- Look, I'm sorry if I insulted
you or something, I am.

- That's all right.

You didn't insult me.

I'm sorry.

Oh man.

- Did you wanna put your head in my lap?

- No, I don't think so.

Good night.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Bye baby.

- Bye.

Did your little Vinnie have a big time?

Come here.

- Joe, we really have to talk, okay?

I'm serious now.

- Okay, let's talk.

See?

Something always comes between us.

- For you.

- Hello?

Yeah?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know how to tell you this, kid.

But we got the money to make the film.

- Yeah, where is it?

We're gonna go to work and we got it.

Let's go.

Come on.

Come on.

Hey.

Cecil B. Aldolfo.

Who was I kidding?

You didn't just quit with a guy like Joe.

We met Skippy that night in a warehouse

to discuss the next move.

This was it.

I was in to the bitter end.

- Don't sweat it, kid.

It's time.

- Joe was right, you really are an artist.

Sure about this kid, absolutely.

- What do I gotta do?

- Take a ride with me
to Brooklyn, we park,

you get out, go around the
corner, you see a gorilla,

you see a midget.

You say to that midget,
Joe Blow from Kokomo,

he gives you something, that's it.

Huh?

- And don't fuck it up.

- Wait, I'm sorry, can you repeat...

- Oh, fuck!

- Skippy.

Skippy.

Aldolfo.

We take a ride to Brooklyn.

We park the car.

You get out, go around the corner.

You see a gorilla, you see a midget.

- So who are you?

- Who am I?

Who are you?

- Hello!

Can you believe this guy?

For the last time, who are you?

- Joe Blow from Kokomo.

- That's it!

You were great, kid.

Jesus!

Christ you were great.

Huh?

Now you gotta do one more thing, okay?

You go down to E-Z Rent-a-Car,

you pick up a car under
the name of Anderson

and you bring it back, we're finished.

- I don't want these drugs in my house.

- Oh, I don't either.

Ooh, drugs are so bad.

But I'm going to turn 'em into money.

Huh?

And you're clean, nobody knows you.

Jesus Christ, we make the movie.

And you can make that girl
next door a movie star.

Huh?

- I still don't understand what I did.

- Aldolfo, Aldolfo, I love
you, I love you, I love you.

What's there to understand?

The midget bought it.

Now you gotta do one more thing.

You gotta go down to E-Z Rent-a-Car,

pick up a car under the name of Anderson,

bring it back, and it's finished.

- Look, Aries, Aprils,
Ackerman, Alvarez, Avakian,

Avatelli-Brown.

Now, unless it's Anderson and
it ain't spelled with an A.

Could it be Anderson without an A?

What do you mean?

You can't spell Anderson without an A.

- No shit.

Then I guess you don't
have a reservation, pal.

No car.

No Joe.

No nothin'.

I had to find him.

I was getting tired of
being fucked around.

Holy shit.

Skippy.

Something had to have gone wrong.

There must be one pissed
off midget out there.

Maybe I was next.

I had to see Angelica, if only
to talk to her one last time.

What?

Angelica.

I guess you were right.

I am either stupid or dumb.

I decided right then and there it was time

for Aldolfo Rollo to fight back.

- Come on, will you get in the car?

I'll get a ride somewhere, okay?

- Hey, Aldolfo.

- This is just perfect.

What are you doing?

- Where's my money, Joe?

- Listen to me.

You could've been followed.

- Oh, bullshit, I'm sick
of your stories, Joe.

- I had to go out of
state to clean the money.

- What's the matter with you?

- What about you, what are
you, friends with him now?

I thought he was a pig.

- Look, I'm getting out of the car.

- No no, wait, Angelica.

Don't you see?
- What?

- This dummy, he thinks I was
double-crossing him with you.

- I don't know what the
two of you are up to,

all I know is he was bringing me

the 3000 from Gregoire, okay?

Take me to work.

And what's the matter with you?

How could you fuck with
that kid like that?

What's going on, Aldolfo?

- Where's my money?

- One thing, Aldolfo.

That's not my kid.

- What?

You said it was your kid.

- I lied.

I have a kid, but that's not him.

- Great, kidnapping now.

That's nothing.

My brother's dead and
they're after my ass.

- What does he mean his brother's dead?

- Ask him.

- People have died for this.

Now we're gonna take the kid home

and then we're going to
the beach, god dammit.

Stupid son of a bitch.

Why, Skippy?

- How could you think
this could ever work?

Look at him.

What is he doing?

He's crazy.

- I don't know.

- I wanna go home.

- I'll fuckin' get him.

I'm really gonna fuckin' get him.

I owe you that.

- Hey Joe, what's going on?

- Basically I'm fucked.

Skippy's dead.

You know how you begin something,

and then it starts to become something,

and then it becomes something else?

It changes, huh?

Slowly but surely, the thing you love

becomes a burden, right?

- Listen, Joe, you're
not making the movie,

so why don't we just give it up, okay?

- I can't give anything.

Maybe you can walk away.

But I can't, I got responsibilities.

- All right.

Look, I forgive you for using me, okay?

- Oh, that's what you said.

- Well you used him, Joe.

- You're right, Angelica.

I went and I bought a newspaper,

and I went right to the want ads,

and the personals, there
it was, big as a billboard.

500-page script for sale.

Now I say to myself, what idiot would sell

a 500-page script?

Aldolfo Rollo, that's who, perfect, right?

Nobody knows Aldolfo Rollo.

But things change.

You think I would spend
all this time with you

if I was using you?

Come here, look at this, do you see this?

What's in his belly?

What's that green stuff, huh?

You could buy a lot of
cans of film with that.

- But film, there's no movie, Joe.

- Aldolfo, don't say that.

Don't ruin a beautiful day, look at this.

I mean, you and I at the
beach with your fiancee?

- Fiancee?

- Yeah.

The producer, the director, and the star,

talking about the film, I love it.

- Joe, she wants to go home.

- It was a mistake to bring her, huh?

- She's scared.

- Hey, I'm the first to admit I'm wrong.

But I gotta talk to you about this film.

- Joe, will you cut the bullshit already?

You never wanted to do the
movie, you just wanted the money.

Will you give me the fuckin'
keys so I can take her home?

- Give a shit about the
money, you take the money.

- Fuck you with the money!

- Fuck the money!

- Fuckin' asshole, you know that?

- I'm not the asshole...

- Why do you always gotta say
the same thing over and over?

I know, I'm an idiot, I'm an idiot, okay?

But I mean, enough already with the movie.

Can we get the fuck outta here?

Come on, give me the keys to
the car, I'll take her home.

- Get your hands off me!

- Come on, will ya?

Give me the...

- Hey, hey.

- Give me the keys to the car.

I'm tired of this boy stuff,
so give me the keys to the car!

- Hey, Angelica, don't, you're
making Aldolfo very nervous.

Angelica, calm down.

- Fuck telling me to calm down!

Angelica...

- Give me the keys.

- Here, you want the keys, baby?

- Don't call me baby.

Don't play with me.

- Here baby, give me the gun.

Jesus.

I fooled you, huh?

- Oh, Jesus.

Shithead!

- Hey, Aldolfo, it's all right.

Let her go, let her go.

Hey, wait a minute, no, let her go,

it's okay, it's all right.

Women, hysterical, right?

Listen, I lost the
sweetest thing I ever had.

Come on.

Come on.

She'll be back.

You could spend a lifetime
chasing after her, Aldolfo.

For Christ's sakes, we got
the ocean all to ourselves.

Now come on, let's sit down.

What do you know?

It really works, listen.

- Yeah, I know, it's the ocean.

- Really?

It's nice here, huh Aldolfo?

I love to watch the sunrise by the beach.

- It's the afternoon, Joe.

- Well, you can't have everything.

You know the one thing I
really wanted to do the most?

Unconditional Surrender.

I hate that title.

But I really wanted to
make your movie, Aldolfo.

I guess you could say I
got bit by the bug, huh?

Make that movie, buddy.

Make it the greatest
fuckin' movie ever made.

Make it a love story.

Will you do that for me?

You don't owe me a dime, kid.

Wipe the slate clean.

- Hey, you remember when
you said we're important?

This may sound nuts, but

what if we made a film about us?

You know?

Just something simple, I mean,

it's like you said, it's not
about the money, you know,

I mean it doesn't have to be
the greatest movie ever made,

we just do it.

Just me, you, Angelica, if
she'll ever talk to me again.

You know, maybe even get Dang in it?

I don't know, we just forget
the drugs, just make a movie.

You know?

God, what do you think?

Hey.

Come on, quit fuckin' around, asshole.

Hey.

Hey.

Joe?

Joe?

Joe!

I guess I'll never know if he was serious

about making my film, or if
he really was just using me.

It doesn't matter.

When I make my movie
it'll be a love story.

And I'll dedicate it to Joe.

You know I never even knew his last name?