All language subtitles for ööö___The.Decline.Of.Western.Civilization.Part.II.The.Metal.Years.1988.720p.BluRay.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

This movie is about groups,

Metal, guitars, girls,
all that stuff

but ultimately, the movie is
only half the story,

Because half the true magic
is about the fans.

[SCREAMING]

The most vocal fans all the time
are heavy metal fans.

They're the best.
I salute them.

[SCREAMING]

[CRADLE TO THE GRAVE
BY MOTORHEAD PLAYING]

Ain't so bad, ain't so bad

Could've been a loser

Ain't so bad, ain't so bad

Rather be a boozer

Standing at the crossroads

See where the wind blows

Following the white line

Following my nose

You've been living
On a razor's edge

Soon as you learned to shave

Make sure you live
Be a long time dead

Cradle to the grave

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Ain't too good,
Don't look good

But it'll get worse

Don't look good,
Don't feel good

It's gonna take years

Life drives you nuts, babe

'Cause if you ain't certain

It'll kick you in the guts, babe

And leave you hurting

Don't matter up or down

Sideways, in or out

If it makes you feel good,
Do it

And then get out

You've been living
on a razor's edge

Listen to what I say

Don't spend your life
In your own bed

Cradle to the grave

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

PENELOPE: What do you think
kids like about metal?

I don't know. I guess they feel

they can escape
from the real world.

They can, just like,
be what they wanna be.

Be dumb, be cool,
be crazy, whatever.

Like, they can do
what they want.

PENELOPE: Do you like
heavy metal music?

-Yeah.
-What do you like about it?

Heavy metal was more of
an evolution, unlike punk rock.

It evolved from hard rock bands

such as Led Zeppelin, The Doors,
Uriah Heep, Black Sabbath,

Iron Butterfly, Deep Purple.

ALL: Metal!

And really, it changed so much,

except for maybe
perhaps the technical element,

but the energy is still there.
The fun is still there.

There's nothing but...

[DRUM BEATING]

A fist in your face.

And I think that's what's
the great thing about metal.

That's, uh... It saved
rock and roll for the '80s.

Well, I think heavy metal

is, is the true rock and roll
of the '80s.

And rook and roll
was basically music

made by people who were thinking
with their crotches.

Punk was getting to be techno.

Punk was turning into
disco in disguise.

It's faster and it's aggressive
and it's rebellious

and their parents hate it.

Which has always been
the mark of good rock and roll.

If your parents don't like it,
it's good.

PENELOPE: What do you think
parents think about you?

Do I care?

The heavy metal bands

just picked up on one little
thing that we did.

You know, I mean we do that kind
of music real well, you know,

but this is like
this much of what we do.

You know, we do
a whole bunch of things.

I like that
spine-chilling feeling.

That get goosebumps
up the spine, that... [HISSES]

Like you really got me.

[PLAYS AIR GUITAR]

It's like, it's like
an orgasm, you know.

Sex and rock and roll,
the American way.

PENELOPE: I know
that all the girls

in the audience are
gonna wanna know...

Sixteen inches.

No! No.

Combination of all four.
We're four, four a piece.

What is a fucking rock star?

Some dude that's got
more money than I do?

I got a bigger dick
than all those people.

We're just fucking big.
You know what, we...

It doesn't mean anything.

-You know, I...
-We just like to party.

I mean, it doesn't matter
what size your pencil is,

it's how you write your name.

[CHEERING]

PENELOPE: What's a head banger?

When we first started
doing this stuff...

Aye, aye, aye...

When we first started
doing this stuff,

we didn't really
talk about head banging.

We talked about girl banging,
you know, gang banging.

Anything but head banging.

That doesn't seem
very nice to do.

GIRL: Hot!

A head banger, they go out
in front of the stage

and they head bang
their head and...

It's cool.

I mean, that's them,
that's not me.

I like to stand back
and watch and see everything.

I like to scam on the chicks.

A head banger is somebody who
dies for his music,

who, who's a true
rivet head, you know.

A head banger is somebody
who likes thrash, nothing but.

Who doesn't accept glam
in any way.

A head banger is uh, someone
that drives by in their car

and goes, "Metal Dude,
fucking metal! Can't they see?"

I think we started that.

Motörhead bangers, you see.

PENELOPE: Are you into it?

Mm, not really. I'd rather
get drunk and kick back.

And watch them
make fools of themselves.

That's just
a rock and roll reaction.

Uh...

And I think the, uh,

the actual head bangers
of the '80s

just make it
a little more pronounced.

They bleed a lot more than...

I'm just the drummer,
I don't bang my head.

I beat off, man.

[DRUM BEATS]

Attention, everybody!

Attention.

Attention, you, creatures
from another planet, you...

Hello, suckers!

Please be advised...

Be advised that...

Be advised that, uh...

-Give it up.
-I'm fucking up.

By your entry
upon these premises...

You are consenting to be
photographed and filmed,

naked or otherwise...

You know, Pictures
and shit like that...

And having your ugly likeness...

And sound effects
used in motion pictures...

Home porno and other purposes...

You, sick dirty dogs, you.

-Thank you.
-Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.
And give us your money.

[PLAYING BORN TO BE WILD]

Get your motor runnin'

Head out on the highway

Looking for adventure

In whatever comes our way

Gonna make it happen

Take the world
In a love embrace

Fire all of your guns at once

And explode into space

I like smoke and lightnin'

Heavy metal thunder

What we always wanted
was to be

the biggest, most outrageous
heavy metal band

that could
possibly get together.

Gonna make it happen

Take the world
In a love embrace

Fire all of your guns at once

And explode into space

Like a true nature's child

We were born
Born to be wild

We can climb so high

I never wanna die

Born to be wild

Born to be wild

Yeah!

LIZZY: Most people think
it's, it's a glamorous life

and you just go from
playing at small clubs

and the next thing you know,
you're playing,

you know,
the forums of the world

There's a million bands
out there.

And all these bands
are playing the clubs

and they're playing them
for a long time.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

But you do get tired
of the road.

Every night, you know.
Seven nights a week.

And that, that's our schedule.
Seven nights a week, playing.

It gets, it gets to the point
where you kind of...

You go crazy.

And I think that's why, uh,
a lot of, the rockers

are kind of senile.

Because it happens to every...

-PENELOPE: Burned out.
-Yeah.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Born to be wild

Yeah!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Lizzy: Lizzy Borden!

Thank you. Good night!

PENELOPE: Where are you
gonna go now?

What we're gonna do is
fuck our brains out.

That's what we're gonna
fucking do. Fuck around.

What the fuck is
your beer problem, man?

LIZZY: Well, we want to be
the best and the biggest.

PENELOPE: What if
it doesn't happen?

LIZZY: We know that we...
We had a great time trying.

-Do you know what?
-Oh-ho!

When you look at a city
like Los Angeles,

or the whole
United States in general,

you're gonna look and see there's
millions of bands out there.

They look great, sound great,
they're doing their own thing.

And all of a sudden, Poison...
What's Poison gonna do

that's gonna make us
stick out of the crowd?

We're gonna have to...
We had an outrageous look

an outrageous sound, everything
that we did was outrageous.

And all of a sudden people said,
"Wait a second.

"These guys have a great
gimmick, but can they play?"

Well, they found out.
You don't sell...

Like you said, you don't
sell three million records

if you can't play music.

PENELOPE: Early on,
did you guys ever think,

"God, we're
never gonna make it?"

Before you got signed
or anything?

[LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY]

Now, listen, I came...
We got off the road

and I got a place
in Marina del Rey.

Now, these guys are smart.
They spent their money wisely.

And I'm the little pig
that went off with the money.

You know, I'm saying,
spend it all, loud, abrasive.

You know, obnoxious.

Well, needless to say,
I have no money now.

If you love what you're doing,

whether you have enough money
to buy a Lemans or...

Lemans? Or buy,
or buy a cheeseburger...

PENELOPE: It's a Pontiac.
Okay.

No, what I meant is...

-Well...
-What?

A Lemans?

-No, whether you buy a...
-Maserati.

The thing is,
it's not the money.

It's just if, you know, if you
enjoy what you doing, it's fun

because you never think about,

"Oh, I wanna have this,
I wanna have that."

You wanna be on stage
and that's the reward, you know.

If you buy a oar
and it's a great car,

it looks great, it runs fast,

it's great if you can
handle the speed.

If you can't handle the speed,
you're gonna wreck.

And I think that's
the same thing with success.

If you obtain all the success
and then you can't handle it,

I think it just goes to waste.

You just sort of push the boat
out into the water.

-PENELOPE: What'll you do?
-Threw the anchor...

-Sink or swim.
-PENELOPE: Be an accountant?

-Yeah.
-Yeah.

-Did you have jobs...
-C.C.'s good at that.

Oh, sure.

PENELOPE: You look
like an accountant.

Now, what happens is, um,

the four of us, look to the...
Well, the three of us

look to the other three...

The four of us
look to the other three

one being an individual...

[BOTH LAUGH]

This is where
the accounting comes in.

-No...
-[CONTINUE LAUGHING]

If I wasn't having fun,
I wouldn't do it.

I'd stop most definitely.

PENELOPE: Even if it meant
not having the money?

I've already got the money.

That's not why we're in it.

-You're not in it for the money?
-Mm-mm.

-What are you in it for?
-Rock and roll.

I mean, I mean, I mean,
if someone's gonna make money,

we wanna make it,
you know, on us.

But I mean,
we're a rock and roll band.

-We love what we do.
-So, you're in it for the music?

I'm in it for the money
No, I'm not... No.

[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING]

[MAN SINGING]

PENELOPE: So there was Poison,
multi-million dollar band,

out there on the street,
handing out flyers?

That's what we used to do,
this is how we did it actually.

We would, um...

During the day we would rehearse

and at night we'd go to clubs,
you know, and hand stuff out.

We'd, you know, we'd try
to look all cool and stuff

and just go, "Hey, yeah,
come out and see the band."

At night we'd go back,

throw on our jeans and be out
there till 5:00 in the morning.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, trying so no one knew
what we looked like then.

You know, putting all our flyers
up and wallpapering it.

And along would come
another band and cover it up

and then, you'd sneak back
and it's a war!

Gotta promote, promote,
promote, promote.

-Take out ads.
-I'm just advertising.

-What's the name of your band?
-Sex.

-Shotgun Wedding.
-vixen.

-Terror.
-Gypsy and the Troubadour.

-Tommy Rot.
-Velocity.

-Tough.
-Tough.

-BOTH: Dirty Blonde.
-Wet Cherry.

The baddest band
in the fucking universe!

-Metaldork.
-Untimely Death.

-Cryptic Slaughter!
-Jaded Lady.

I like passing out flyers

because it's a good
opening line on chicks.

'Cause you know,
you can't walk up to a girl

and say,
"Um, you know what time it is?"

That ain't cool.

So you give 'em a flyer and
they know you're in a band.

They know you're not a roadie.

-We don't have our flyers yet.
-Most people...

We don't have enough money
to get them printed. Um...

We don't make
any money off this...

MAN: Fifty percent of the girls
take them.

The guys,
they just throw them down.

Check this out, man, a guy
gives me a flyer, right?

He gives me a flyer,

"Hey, all right, cool,
I'll be there! All right!

"Cool, I'll come
check out your band."

And he walks about 10 feet
down the street

and I fucking wrinkle the shit
up, throw it on the ground.

Well, we finally got our flyers.

We met a chick that, um,
had a little bit of money.

We had her empty out her purse.

[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYS]

Most of them
just got out of high school

and they don't know what to do
and they can't get real jobs

'cause they don't look right
for real jobs.

PENELOPE: What do you do
for a living?

Um, I'm a professional musician.

I work at Mrs. Fields Cookies.

Legal secretary.

I work for the
LA Unified School District.

We have a real sense
of responsibility.

And we're tax payers.

And in fact, are very prominent
in the business world.

We are also heavy metal rockers.
And we love it.

I don't work.
I can't stand work.

PENELOPE: Um, what was
the last job you had?

Uh, I've never had a job.

Is it a drag
not having money? Yeah.

So, you're always hurting
for money?

Uh, yeah!

Once you have money,
you realize

that it's not really important.

What money gives you
the opportunity to do

is to forget about money.

I'd rather get rich
at playing music than

than get rich doing, uh,
plumbing.

'Cause I don't wanna work
until I'm 60

and die poor at 70.

And have a fat wife
bitching at me and thirty kids.

I wanna do my own thing.

I'd like to have an apartment

where we have carpeting
on the floor.

'Cause, uh,

Mike picks his nose a lot
and he has no place to put it.

Did you go to high school?

No, I dropped out seventh grade.

-How come?
-I don't know.

I just couldn't handle people
telling me what to do.

Disobedient boys.

That's what we are.

PENELOPE: And why
are you rebellious?

Went to Catholic school
for 12 years.

You know, they talk about
these big famous bands

tearing apart hotel rooms
and stuff.

The only time we've ever been
able to stay in a hotel room

we tore the shit out of it,
but it just came natural.

I remember once when I read

Poison jumped
on the glam band wagon.

[LAUGHING]

PENELOPE: You don't think
you did?

We built the first wheel on
that freaking wagon any way.

Well second, all right,
Billy, Alice Cooper.

Men and makeup are
where it's at.

Me personally, I might wear
a little bit of eyeliner

to bring out my eyes because
they're not that big,

but I'm not into wearing
lipstick. Lipstick isn't me.

It's a turn off for me
to kiss a guy that's got

redder lipstick than I do.

You know,
it's just a way of life now.

'Cause most guys, they don't
know how to put it on.

They're dudes.
They're real clumsy.

It's like putting on high heals,

you're gonna fall all over
the place, right.

I used to go
down the corner and uh,

hide my clothes underneath
my jeans

and put on my makeup
in that corner in the car,

by candle light.

And they got
that certain look

that dazzles
those little cutie girls.

And then they put on make up

and we're talking sizzle
with these guys.

What I do is
I take tips from girls.

I'll, I'll let put
my make up on, you know.

I kinda, I get into it,
you know.

Kinda turns me on a little.

I'm, I'm not
into that personally

But you know, if it sells
our albums and records, yes.

You know, if a guy came
to pick me up

for a baseball game or something
and was wearing makeup

I probably wouldn't answer
the door.

I don't like it. I like a man
that looks like a man.

Do people look at you a lot?

Yeah, well, that's the idea.

It, it brings out
bi-sexual tendencies

because, women do like women
no matter what people say.

My ma used to think
I was a transvestite, you know?

She'd, uh, check in there,
you know,

make sure I was not wearing
her clothes and as such...

My mom still thinks I'm going
through a phase in my life.

And that she says,
"Why don't you come home

"and cut your hair, you know,

"like the little boy
I used to know."

PENELOPE: What do you think about
the pretty rock and roll stars?

Good luck to them
if they're pretty, wish I was.

We've never gone out
and put lipstick on

and stuff like that
and put hair spray

so it looks like a truck blowing
past us going 90, you know.

It's the theatrical effect.
I guess it's cool.

It's when they wear it off stage
and try and pat you on the ass,

it worries me.

You know,
sometimes it worries me.

I've had a lot of guys whistle
at me thinking I was a chick...

When I see a it's a guy, I go
back to the 18 year old girl.

If I'm driving in my car
and somebody

is at the back of me,
you know, honking at me...

Sometimes I like to, you know,
freak them out

you know, kinda give them
a little wave

and then they come by and see me
and I'm just like, yeah...

I just do a double twist, but
then I make sure I keep walking.

The older we get,
the uglier we get,

the more makeup we got to put
on, you know what I'm saying?

It gets worse,
It doesn't get any better.

[STEVE SINGING]
Dude look like a lady...

All you girls out there, I want
you to show us your breasts.

Hello, Cathouse.

PENELOPE: So, tell me about
Cathouse, Rikki?

There's more girls here
than anywhere in the world.

And we play rock 'n' roll,
all we do...

Now we don't like add in,

some clubs will play
a little bit

of rock 'n' roll
we play only rock 'n' roll.

And it's just a real big fun,
sleazy place.

Cathouse, welcome home,

they left a while ago,
now they're fucking rock stars,

Faster Pussycat!

[FASTER PUSSYCAT
PLAYING CATHOUSE]

Let's go across the tracks
Where pussy ain't no feline

Rev up my Chevy
I'm gonna pay to play

Baby Lickity-split
I like that taste

I push ahead
And I fall behind

I'm just a good Good Tom
I just wanna stay

Just got back from the
best cathouse in town

I had the best piece
Of Mona Lisa I ever found

And I'm going back to the
best cathouse in town

PENELOPE: So, why do you guys
come to Cathouse?

It fucking rocks bitches...

Rook, heavy metal...

Party, drinks...

Faster Pussycat,
Guns 'N' Roses, LA.

It's what American rock 'n' roll
is all about.

You want to know
what rock 'n' roll is about

come to the Cathouse.

'Cause rock 'n' roll is about
a lot more than just music.

It's more than music,
it's just an attitude, you know.

Me and my room mate

needed a place
where we could, uh,

have a party and not worry
about the neighbors

and getting free drinks

and a place where
we can meet strippers.

PENELOPE: So, could you call
this place a pickup joint?

Definitely, that's, that's,

that's one of the main reasons
it was opened up.

Where do you think
I found his ass, huh, Cathouse.

PENELOPE: Describe some
of the girls that come in here?

I like the girls
that come in here.

Lot of blond girls come here,
lot of girls that are

look like they've come out of
Russ Meyers films.

They don't wear much clothes
at the Cathouse.

We have this policy
of never really keeping

the air conditioning on.

So, it gets really hot,
so it's like...

They show a lot of flesh here.

PENELOPE: I mean, I've seen
girls walking around

in garter belts and bras.

I know, I like that.

Somebody came here once
from Texas and they go,

"I don't believe it!

"In Texas, we wear our lingerie
in the bedroom.

"In the Cathouse
they wear them out in the club."

You know, if you want
to come here dressed really nice

that's okay, but...

You'll get in the club faster
if you dress sleazy.

Let's go to the house
Where business is a pleasure

And as long as there's
A virgin

I won't go away

Now I'm a hard
Hard act to swallow

And she's my buried treasure

It'll be a long
Long time before I'm on my way

Just got back from the
best cathouse in town

I had the best piece
Of Mona Lisa I ever found

And I'm going back to the
best cathouse in town

PENELOPE: So, who else
comes here?

Aerosmith, Mötley Crüe,

Faster Pussycat of course.

KISS has been here
a couple of times.

David Lee Roth was here
last week.

PENELOPE: So, what did you
guys do to get signed?

-Like flyers?
-TAIME: Flyers.

We plastered them
on the cars.

Plastered them on homes.

Stuffed them in their face.
They threw them down,

-we picked them up--
-Yeah, it sucked.

Give them to people
that throw them down.

-Then you beat them up.
-Yeah and we kicked their ass...

PENELOPE: What else did you
do to try to get signed?

We tried to get Brent to blow
the A&R department at the...

But it didn't work.

PENELOPE: So, why are there

like so many sexual references
in your songs?

Because, Taime is
a sexual monster.

-He's a dynamo.
-He is a sexual dynamo.

I'm a love machine.

PENELOPE: So, how come you
guys are so obsessed with sex?

-'Cause we're young.
-We used, we used to be obsessed

with money, but we never got any
so we had to like...

Give up on that.

PENELOPE: What about drugs?
You use drugs?

-Uh, no.
-Alcohol.

-Aspirin, shit like that...
-Aspirin, Advil.

PENELOPE: So what makes your
band different than the rest

of the bands around?

Tell me that?

Because we all have
very large penises.

And we don't wipe our butt
so it smells really bad.

PENELOPE: So why are you
in rock 'n' roll?

I'm just doing this
till I can be

a manager at McDonald's
or something.

I'm just, I'm just purely lazy,
that's why I do this.

-Are you making a lot of money?
-No.

-No.
-People, people on the road go,

"Give me your scarf,
give me your hat."

Nobody ever gives me any money.
Give me your jewelery.

We get a $1,000 a night a show

at an average we play
four shows a week,

it cost us $2,500
to be on the road.

PENELOPE: So at this point...

We don't make any money...
We just love doing it.

You know, not until,
We're new.

[FASTER PUSSYCATS PLAYING
BATHROOM WALLS]

Saw your number written
On the wall

Said for a good time call
Call 555-7688

Hey, baby, I can't wait

I got your number off
The bathroom wall

PENELOPE: You just got back
from a European tour.

-What was that like?
-I was in a room with Taime.

I mean, the rooms in Europe
are really small.

The beds are right next
to each other.

And all the girls
that you bring in, like, had

-Crazy stuff.
-Had braided fucking hairy arms...

More than me.

They'd like, hit me in the nose
while I was asleep.

It was really gross.

PENELOPE: You mean,
he brings girls

and have sex when you're
in the room?

We got, we, we only got
three rooms.

You know, we gotta share.

And I had no choice

To put another dime
In the telephone,

'Cause that bitch is alone at home

I got your number off
the bathroom wall

We got your number off
the bathroom wall

And I decided it was about time
I made the call

We played in San Francisco

and we got pelted
with rocks and garbage.

Taime broke someone's nose
with a fucking mic stand.

-Well, they were mean.
-Boom!

They were throwing rocks at us
and stuff, and...

PENELOPE: What does it feel
like when they don't like you?

Oh, we shove it in their face
and tell them to eat shit.

'Cause if they don't like it,
tough luck, you know.

-Eat a bag of shit.
-Eat a full bag of shit, buddy.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[SONG ENDS]

PENELOPE: You are
the definitive hard rock band

that really set the standards.
How do you feel about that?

I love it. I think, you know,
we took it to the mountain

and it's still there.

It's rhythm and blues,
it's twos and fours,

it's fucking, you know.

You can really fuck
to a good Aerosmith song.

It's R&B. It's those
twos and fours. It's...

[SCATTING]

-JOE: It's the swing.
-It's the swing.

It's the jazz of it all.

PENELOPE: Did you look
at The Dolls and say,

"Gee, they've got a good look.
We should look like that"?

Oh, yeah. I mean, I was in awe.
I loved it.

David Johansen had..They used to
say I was a Mick Jagger lookalike.

And had lips for miles.

I mean, that guy
could swallow the earth.

And has.

PENELOPE: Did you try to make
a comeback to make money?

-'Cause you were running out.
-Shit, yes. Undoubtedly.

Yeah?

Well, you know, we not in...
I mean, you gotta

buy your guitar strings
somewhere, you know.

-Are you making a lot of money?
-Yeah.

PENELOPE: Have you made a lot
of money in your day?

Yeah. Yeah. Millions.

-You have?
-Oh, yeah.

-Where's it now?
-Went up my nose.

I must have snorted up
all of Peru.

To survive the '60 and the '70s,
it's like a fucking miracle.

PENELOPE: You think you could
have been dead?

Oh, God, I was several times.

We've used drugs
for so many years,

it's like, you know, you burn
out the punch card you know.

I mean, you've only got
so many drinks in your life.

I think I used all of mine
in 35 years, you know.

I was looking forward to having

a few sips on the porch
when I get older,

but it ain't, it ain't
in the cards, you know.

Joe and I are
the toxic twins, baby.

-No one has been that, uh...
-Are you proud of it?

Uh, no.

You know, uh, no one...

Yes, I went through it,
but no, not all people...

You know, they might think
that that's the way to do it,

you know,
and that isn't the way.

That's not the way at all.

Because we painted ourselves
into a major corner.

Yeah, we figured it was
the only thing to do,

is to clean up, you know.

-How long has that been?
-It's been 11 months now.

And how do you feel?

Oh, still hung over
a little bit.

No, we're doing good.

We were feeling sick and tired
of feeling sick and tired.

PENELOPE: Do you feel now that you
can still do it without drugs?

Positively better, too.
Keep it up longer.

It's like, you know,
it's like jerking off.

When you're a young kid

and you first learn
how to use that thing,

you know, you go...
[SPUTTERING]

But the older you get, the
slow... You slow down, you know.

You get into the rhythm of it.

And you learn how to
milk it for all it's worth.

And I think
that's what Aerosmith...

That's where Aerosmith is
right now.

I think we could do a good job
of, of fucking.

PENELOPE: Okay.
Um, how do you feel about

other bands ripping you off?

I don't know if they rip us off.

I mean, I can't hear anybody
that sounds like us.

PENELOPE: Don't you hear
the bands?

Yeah. Yeah, I hear them,

but I don't that, I don't hear
that much Aerosmith

as other people do. Aerosmith,
to me, is really definitive.

Maybe some of the attitude
some of the bands have.

Which is cool.
We stole it from other people.

It's almost like Tyler said
one time. You know what I mean?

He said that... He said,
"With rock and roll..."

He goes, "In history, you know,
everyone's doing something

"someone else already did.
So you're repeating yourself.

"But you're doing it
with your own style."

PENELOPE: Do you get mad
if a band copies your style?

No. Good luck to them.

Maybe they'll do something
that we can copy later.

I can think of a few that
I would like to have about now.

Right about here.

To be perfectly honest,
nobody's original.

Nobody's original out there.
We're all thieves.

Some of them are
just pure plagiarists.

I won't mention any names.

-Their initials start with...
[BUZZER BEEPS]

Imitation is the sincerest form
of flattery.

And it's nice to know that
you made some mark on music.

KISS supported Black Sabbath
in the early '70s

and it was the first time
I ever really saw

a magnificent stage
production with theatrics.

I mean, how incredible!

They were the... They were the
forerunners of today, you know.

I think it is very important
to be an innovator.

And since we were the first
to do any of this,

it's, it's fun
to still be doing it.

As far as I'm concerned,
still doing it better

than any of the bands
that are copying us.

PENELOPE: Why do you put

those scarves
on your microphone stand?

So I can wipe my nose.
Blow my nose.

PENELOPE: What do you think
when you see guys

putting scarves all over
their microphone stands?

-I don't know.
-Steve should get a royalty.

-Why is that?
-He was doing it a long time ago

I mean, if I write something,
I get a royalty for it

if someone else uses it.

Sorry, Steven.

Yeah!

PENELOPE: So, Bobby,
what do you have

to say to people who might think

that maybe your music
isn't totally original?

His brothers...

[ALL LAUGH]

There's more bands in LA

than there are
anywhere else in the world

because most of
the record companies and labels

and high management corporations
are based in Los Angeles.

A lot of the people
who are... who play in bands

aren't originally
from Los Angeles.

Good evening.
We're Seduce from Detroit.

[HEAVY METAL MUSIC PLAYING]

It's like, playing and driving
sort of goes hand in hand.

You know, you do a five grand
launch from a dead stop.

Same thing as when you walk out
in front of a crowd

and everybody's like...

[IMITATES CROWD]

You know?
Same blast, you know?

It's just a rush of adrenaline.

PENELOPE: Are you doing it
for the money?

No. If I was in it
for the money,

I would have left
a long time ago.

-You know?
-Are you in it for the fame?

That would be nice.

But you know,
it's just like something, uh...

I do... I enjoy doing it.
You know, it's like...

PENELOPE: Are you in it
for the chicks?

No, at first I might have
thought it'd been like that,

but then, you realize that

half the chicks that are
gonna be out there,

that you're gonna be with,

aren't worth the time
anyway, you know.

Well, she wanted to get married,

she wanted me to have
the nine to five lifestyle.

The marry, go normal,
kinda, you know...

If you're gonna
bump into some chick

and you just pull into town
and she's gonna fuck you,

you know she's fucked
everybody else

from this star on down,
so what's the point?

I mean, that's pretty much
conquered ground, you know.

[PLAYING HEAVY METAL MUSIC]

You go hungry, you go broke...

But if you believe in yourself,

you'll fucking make it,
you know.

PENELOPE: Where do you see
yourself in 10 years?

Retired.

Living some place nice.

My stocks working for me,
investments, bonds, securities.

You know, shit like that.
I'm responsible.

I got long hair, but fuck,
I'm a businessman, you know.

Yes, I've devoted
all my life to rock and roll.

PENELOPE: Does that ever
get scary for you?

Yeah, 'cause I wonder sometimes

if I, uh,
if I wind up 45 years old

and I never did anything
or something like that...

PENELOPE: Why do people
devote their

whole lives to rock and roll?

Well, if you want to
become famous,

it usually takes your whole life
to get there, you know?

I mean, to keep on going
and going and going,

it's like, "You're almost there,
you're almost there",

and then it's like, "Oh, no!"

Crash Landing, it's about us.

We, we wrote this music for it

and I was thinking
about an idea for the song.

And there was a plane crash
and, uh,

we just thought about, you know,

it'd be kind of neat
to write the song about that.

And what it would be like if
you were the pilot of the plane

and like,
what you'd be going through

as you're, you know,
getting ready to crash.

[BAND PLAYING CRASH LANDING]

Flying high up in the sky

Who understands
The reasons why

That I

I was lost

Tried to find my way back home

Suddenly I'm all alone

In the night

In the night

My engines started shutting down

My tail starts spinning
Round and round

Total loss of all control

Terror grips, grips my soul

I'm headed straight,
Straight for the ground!

Crash landing

PENELOPE: Have you said,
"I feel like quitting,

"'cause we haven't made it yet?"

Uh, probably every day
I say that.

I'm busting my balls at this.

Of course I wanna
make it, you know.

I mean, you know,
whatever it takes, man.

Last drop of blood, you know.

'Cause I'm in it, you know,
till the death or whatever.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

PENELOPE: Who's the biggest
band in Detroit?

Us.

PENELOPE: Why did you
get into

rock and roll in the beginning?

'Cause I noticed you got
lots of girls.

Girls. All sizes, all shapes.
Big, small, short, tall.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Hallelujah!

Jesus Christ,
when we toured with KISS,

they were like,
like monsters, man.

There were lines of chicks

outside their rooms every night,
you know.

What the...
What's the matter with me?

I'm trying to pull
the stragglers, you know.

PENELOPE: Talk to me
a little bit about

the girls that approach you.

-Oh...
-Where'd you hear that?

Why, did somebody say something?

[ALL LAUGH]

PENELOPE: What do you think
about groupies?

I love them!

-Amazing.
-They're great.

Just amazing.
You know how I mean.

They keep a young man hard.

It's a way of life, you know.

STEVEN: It's like
your alter ego.

They're doing
the same thing you are.

I mean, you're in a band
and you love it.

You love the music
that you're playing.

Uh, you know, you see them
freaking out and loving it.

It's just, you know, it just
reinforces the way you feel.

In the '60s they used to
call them groupies.

I like to call them the fleas
and ticks of rock and roll.

That's, that's my motto.

The, the best groupies
are in Salt Lake City.

And, uh, I've had
four of them at a time.

PENELOPE: So you, you get
into group sex?

-Uh...
-Yeah, it's happened.

It's happened.

We've had four or five
since we've been here.

PENELOPE: How long have you
been here?

-Five weeks.
-Five weeks.

PENELOPE: Do you often
see girls take off

their shirts at your concerts?

Yeah. It's, uh,
it's our form of salute.

We go, "Hello."
And they go, "Hello."

Leads me
to an interesting story.

One day, I was
in my hotel room

and Bret's room
was next to mine.

And I heard this girl screaming
and pounding on the door.

This girl with
really long hair, sitting...

Sitting in a bus,
by the side of us.

And we don't know her.

Suddenly she goes bang
and falls on the floor...

So she says, "I'll only
stay a while." All right.

So we become fast friends,
we swap spit...

He gets her by the legs
and I get her by the shoulders.

I get her by her shoulders...

I get so far up with her and
she starts wobbling and scre...

I thought, "What's the matter
with her?"

I finally got out of bed
and I said,"To hell with this!

"I'm gonna go,
go do something about it."

I walk outside, the door...

His door opens
and the girl comes running out.

So I don't know
how to get rid of this girl.

She says,
"What do you want of me?"

And I suddenly realize
I had my foot on her hair.

She was there for 15 minutes
trying to get out of his room.

I said, "Go up to the 23rd floor
where the, uh, road crew is

"and take care of them."

She was having an epileptic fit,
I'm like, "My God!"

[SPASMING]

If I woke up and looked at me
in the morning,

I'd be screaming too
to get out."

And I don't know what happened,

but the next day the road crew
was very friendly.

PENELOPE: Have you ever
said to yourself,

"I could fall in love
with this groupie"?

[GIRL GIGGLES]

Have I ever...

Have you ever said to yourself,

"I could fall in love
with this groupie"? Yeah.

Probably not
because I'd have to think that

somebody in every band had also.

Paul Stanley said one time
that if you're gonna make it

and be successful,
you gotta get rid of your women.

If this is the way
you wanna live,

then you can live like this.

PENELOPE: And we can
safely say that,

since this is
a documentary film,

that you actually do
live like this?

As often as I can.

Guys in the metal scene
are, are fun.

And you can take advantage
of them

just as guys can take advantage
of the girls in the metal scene.

You know what I'm saying?

In heavy metal music, women
are portrayed to be abused.

Um, they're kind of, uh,
being bound in chains.

Many of the styles portray them
as having handcuffs on,

leg irons,
being locked in cages.

There's a very brutal aspect

towards the woman
in heavy metal.

'Cause it very much appeals
to the male macho image.

I don't think people take girls
seriously in this sort of music.

I don't know why that is.

'Cause there hasn't been anybody
to prove

that girls can
really, really rook.

PENELOPE: Can girls play
rock and roll as good as guys?

-You bet.
-Damn right, we can.

Shit.

We rock. We kick ass.

PENELOPE: You get a lot of chicks
from being in a band?

Oh, fuck, you get all the chicks
from being in a band.

Especially the singer.
I get the most.

Well, that's fine.
That's a stereotype.

The minute a girl goes out with
a bunch of guys, she's a slut.

-What's your favorite past time?
-Sex.

Rook and roll and sex.

Girls. Girls.

Favorite past time.
Big tittied.

What's your favorite past time?

-Sex.
-Definitely.

All the time.

Every day,
at least three or four times.

PENELOPE: What kind of guys
do you like?

Um, musicians, unfortunately.

PENELOPE: Why?

Because they're irresponsible
assholes, but they look good.

When I'm playing,
they seem so mesmerized

by what I'm doing on stage.

Instantly, they're mine,
you know.

They have attitude.

I know that sounds kind of
weird, but I like attitude.

My personal taste?

I like sluts.
I like slutty girls.

I like girls that will
take off all their clothes

right in front of me
and dance in my face.

That turns me on.

PENELOPE: Does this happen
a lot, Matthew?

Yeah. It's a rock and roll band.
I mean, uh...

It's all a combination.

It's great to fell that hair
above you, you know.

Falling down.

PENELOPE: So, when you're on stage
you're wearing the hair...

No, in bed.

-Or on the floor or the kitchen.
-The bathroom, on the table.

PENELOPE: Are you afraid
of getting AIDS?

I never really thought about it.

You can't screw someone
now, and think,

"I just laid that chick."

Because she's gonna go,
"Honey, you're dead." You know?

You know, I, I myself,
I go with girls

whose step-dads
are gynecologists.

So that really helps out a lot.

-With the AIDS problem?
-Yeah. Yeah, a lot of that.

PENELOPE: And birth control?

Um, I don't really
worry about that.

PENELOPE: A lot of girls
chase after you?

Yes, they do.

You chicks take care
of me a lot.

Why, I just had this chick
sew up my pants today or else

you guys could see my dick
hanging out the bottom here.

PENELOPE: She didn't do
a very good job dude.

If it's not money,

it's taking us here,
taking us there.

-You know,
-Buying us new clothes...

-and boots.
-Yeah, got some new pants.

It's kind of a rule that,
chicks don't get in the house

unless they have
a sack of groceries with them.

You know?

Yeah, let me tell you,
when your stomach's growling,

you haven't had anything for a
couple of days, you don't...

All of a sudden, your moral
values just sorta like...

Okay, hon, if you want
to pay for dinner.

That's fine with me.

PENELOPE: You know a lot of guys
in this scene

let girls take care
of them financially.

What do you thing about that?

I think that's sad.

Sounds horrible.

In a sense it's a form
of prostitution.

PENELOPE: Would you ever go out
with a girl just so that, you know

she would pay for some food
even if you didn't like her.

Um, yeah.

-Yeah, I would.
-PENELOPE: Isn't that prostitution?

Uh, no, I wouldn't see
it that way.

-No.
-I wouldn't see it that way. No.

PENELOPE: Would you let some guy
pay for you?

No.

PENELOPE: What are you going to do
for them?

Anything they want right now
that I can do.

PENELOPE: What do you do for them?

You know, when I have
a little money

I'll be them the nice things
some pretty furs...

And the, the cars
and the Rolls Royces.

And the whole,
the whole shebang.

-You're gonna remember them?
-Oh, yeah!

PENELOPE: How long
have London been together?

-Too fucking long. Since 1979.
-Uh-huh.

Yeah, well, this is like

the uh, training school
for rock stars.

'Cause see we get somebody
in the band

and uh, as soon as they leave
they become rock stars.

PENELOPE: So, who else
was in your band?

Couple of dudes from
Guns N' Roses.

A dude from, uh, W.A.S.P.

and, uh, Nikki Sixx
from Mötley Crüe.

Freddy Coury of Cinderella.

Well, I like to tell you
that, uh,

we do appreciate you guys
being here

and we would like to have
you're co-operation

to make us look bitching.
All right!

You see, we've been in this town
for so long

that we're like a cheap hooker
on the street.

Nobody wants to know about us.

So, what happens is we, we have
a big following out of town,

we come back here,
they offer us 50 bucks

to play the Troubadour
or wherever.

-On a Tuesday.
-On a Tuesday.

But, we will do it
for a bar tab.

So, you guys are gonna be
in the picture right here, so...

If you can just like...

Stick your hands up in the air
and make yourselves look...

Show us your under-alls.
All right!

Oh! You want to hear
about Arizona.

Well, I just found out when
I was in my hotel room that,

that, that oral sex was illegal.

-Now that fucking...
-By three years.

That fucking bummed me out.

He loves to eat pussy.

Can you imagine.
You're under arrest for...

Now, come on.

We were rather shocked
to hear that really.

Yeah, but unfortunately
we did break the law

an awful lot
when we were in Arizona.

Girls in other cities are great

because uh,
it's always two or three

that are totally loaded
with money.

Here's what London is...

Our dicks get real hard
for gold cards.

They do. They do.

No.

You guys are fucking
losing it, man.

You're not here for me.

You're here for you know what.

Women make you feel
very, very good

when they're out in front of you
and they just start fucking

sucking their own hands
and sucking their own fingers

and throwing notes at you
and taking their tops off.

Oh, my God!
Not more fog.

First of all, girls like it
when you talk dirty to them.

Especially right here.

Okay. You just tell them
you want to bend them over...

Kiss their toes,
lift their butt up in the air

and you look at her
with the lights...

We are not role models
for your life.

My hands are tied

My back's to the wall

Nowhere to hide

No escape from it all, yeah

Pick of the town

Living in the fast lane

Running around

Well, they need
those money skies, yeah

Times I like new love

There's a place to go

And I went with this chick.
Well, this chick is all weird.

She was using these cuffs

and there was nowhere
to cuff me up.

And she wanted to cuff me up.

And all there was, was a desk
with handles.

So she used the handle
of a fucking drawer.

PENELOPE: Why did she wanna
cuff you up?

Because she wanted to sit there
and play with herself.

-Okay?
-With you cuffed to the desk?

Yeah. Shit, I loved it.

Anyway, she left me there.
I fell asleep.

And I'm like this.

Ooh, breakout!

Hey!

PENELOPE: When was the last time
you had a job?

Eight years ago. [LAUGHING]

We don't work, this is...
We play music.

Well, I've never had a job.

The girls have always,

the girls have always been
very generous.

Well, I'm currently like,
I'm still employed.

I'm a professional gynecologist.

PENELOPE: No, when was
the last time you had a job.

Well, uh, this is my job.

Uh, as far as I'm concerned
this is what I do.

I believe in it, you know, this
is rock 'n' roll. I do this.

So, I mean,
I don't consider that, uh,

I'm like, lazy or something
'cause I don't do a job.

Because I bust my fucking ass
doing rock and roll.

PENELOPE: Do you always have money?

Sometimes we do
and sometimes we don't.

We're, we're in debt
for 100 grand.

Right now, yes, we are.

But we're getting out of that.

PENELOPE: How could you be in debt
for 100 grand?

We bought a lot of equipment.

Our last album we did
was financed by this guy

who was in jail, right?
[LAUGHING]

Yeah, but...

He's out now.
And now he wants his money.

All right. See this?

You know, that bullshit going
on out there

for the fucking Russians, huh?

I'm sick of listening
to these motherfuckers.

[DRUM ROLL]

You know, how they say

the Russians
are coming over here.

They cause shit.

Ha ha, surprise.

Uh oh, this fucker's tough.

MAN: Burn it.

Come on, mother fucker.
I ain't got all day.

This song is for the Russians.

This is called Russian Winter.

[SCREAMING]

Yeah!

We were making flame pots
for this song, Russian Winter.

And what we did was, we uh,

wanted big flames,
so we put

a lot of extra gun powder
and flash powder together.

So, we basically got your uh,
standard concussion bombs.

-Yeah.
-Six at once.

Snow bound, snow bound,
Just like a Russian winter

Yeah!

-Hell bound
-Hell bound

Beware of the Russian winter
In the USA

That's why it's snowing
in America.

Oh and when your eyes are dim

You know the beast crawls in

To make you suffer
Again and again

I left for Chicago,
so called to do business.

I went and did nothing.

This cop was sending us...

Douche bag. I mean,
this guy was an idiot.

Anyway...

I get in to get to the car
and he goes, "Get out of here!

"Come on,
get your ass out of here."

And I go, "Fuck you!"

-To the cop.
-Oh, yeah!

He was a fucking...

If you would have seen this guy,
this is not an L.A. cop.

L.A. cops, they look good
and they look big

and they look nuts
and they're young

and pissed off
and they are ready to kick ass.

And I'm sitting in the cab
with the door open

and he grabs me by the hair.

And that was it.

I go, motherfucker,
is this anything to grip,

I can't you know...

PENELOPE: What happened,
let me see your eye.

So he hit me in the eye.

Right here, but it's cool,
I whacked him about six times.

And then,
I got my ass kicked after that.

-Snow bound
-Snow bound

Just like a Russian winter

Yeah!

-Hell bound
-Hell bound

Just like a Russian winter

-Snow bound
-Snow bound

Just like a Russian winter

Yeah!

-Hell bound
-Hell bound

PENELOPE: Where
do you guys live?

-Well, uh...
-You mean right now?

Right now,
I don't have a steady home. No.

-PENELOPE: Okay.
-We're kinda on the road

-Kinda in transit right now.
-We're strollers.

'Cause I wanted to shoot you,
I wanted to go

to one of your homes.
But you didn't have one.

Yeah, that's a problem for us.

It's usually a restaurant
or a bar.

Yeah, sure we'll be there.

We show up and we're decked out
and good to go.

And you'll never know
what happened.

Where did they go?

PENELOPE: Do you think about
yourselves as rook stars?

BOTH: No.

PENELOPE: What's it like
being a living legend?

Kids out there think,
you got a guitar,

you make a hit record

and you make
millions of dollars and

you just live
happily ever after.

It isn't that way at all.
It's like, very hard work.

Very hard break.

You get your rewards
and, and, and things...

You do get a lot of things like,
gold disk, platinum disk,

cars, houses and...

You know, then you got things
like divorces,

management ripoffs,
fatigue, drugs, alcohol.

You know, hang overs and
you got to go on the next one

you've been up all night
burning you bridges

and you got to go, "Hi, guys.

"It's good to be back
on stage again."

You know, you'll be feeling like
crap inside, you know?

Very often I ask them what
do they think I would be doing

if I wasn't into rock 'n' roll.

And I, I keep saying, you know,

my answer for that is
I'd probably be in prison.

Why is that?

Because I just want... I didn't
want to get a regular job.

I couldn't conform to any system

and I didn't want to
get a job...

I've had several jobs
in factories

and, you know, different jobs.

But rock and roll has got
this sort of a...

An outlaw-ish thing
with it.

You can do what you wanna.
You don't have to get up

and listen to some big, fat
baldy old fart

telling you to take this box
and stick it over there.

PENELOPE: So, tell me about,
you know, what happened

when all of a sudden
you got rich

and you could buy the...
Everything you wanted.

What happened, it didn't work
out exactly like Cinderella.

We started to think
we were like gods.

All went out and bought
fast oars and everything.

We had a manager
and that's because...

Because we came from
the back streets of Birmingham,

we didn't have any...
Much of a business education.

We let him con us
as it was...

We got ripped off for lots
of money in the early days.

But we didn't care.
We were seeing America,

having fun, screwing as many
groupies as we could,

smoking as much dope,

getting just, you know,
out of it in general.

Basically having a good time.

Those were the fun years
because we...

Until we suddenly realized
one day,

"Hey, we must be earning
a lot more

"than this guy's
actually giving us."

PENELOPE: So,
it's not all a pretty story?

It's hard bloody work
and you gotta be a businessman.

And I'm not a businessman,
you know.

And I'm very fortunate
to this day.

Now my wife is my manager.
She knows the business.

While I, I don't know the
business side of rock and roll.

I don't wanna know it either.

When we came to America

we thought like, the drugs
and all that

was just a part of the gig,
you know.

You know, you just get stoned
and just get fucked up

and make your gig and all that.

And what happened
with Black Sabbath?

We all ended up junkies
and alcoholics and everything.

Like, the drummer ended up
in a rehabilitation center.

I did for a while and...

And in the end disaster happens.

It's uh, it's inevitable
for having disasters.

'Cause it's like drugs,
they're okay at that time,

but we outgrew them, you know.

We just... You know, we
took LSD, we took cocaine,

we took
vast amounts of marijuana.

It is fun at the time, but then
it became all just sort of...

"This isn't a very
good idea anymore."

PENELOPE: So you have
a more stable life now?

-No.
-[BOTH LAUGH]

Back in Control
is an organization

that is designed to

show parents how to regain
control of their child's behavior.

-Right there, sir.
-Okay, turn around.

-Turn around.
-Go ahead, feel me up.

What do you want me to do?
Bend over?

One of the things that
we have found

which we call "De-metalling",

is a program that actually
gets the kid out of heavy metal.

-[ROCK MUSIC PAYING]
-Wait a minute.

DARLYNE: We have certain rules.

Removal of heavy metal albums
or tapes,

um, not allowing the child
to dress in any style

of heavy metal,
which would mean

taking these kinds of things
away from him.

Not allowing him to wear
the heavy metal t-shirts

that depict the band members

with pictures of monsters
or skeletons

or whatever, graves, on them.

Hurry up, hurry up.
Come, come, come on.

This right here,
just covers the forearm

and again,
it's just used as a garment.

But it basically talks about
an image related to heavy metal,

which is one of power.

Come on! Oh, dude,
I gotta go.

Cup the hands, cup the hands.

Cup your hands.

This also is
worn over the forearm.

And this was homemade.
As you can tell, it has

just screws and nuts in it,
a piece of sheet metal.

MAN: I used to do drugs.
I used to have lighters...

MAN 2: She's not a druggie.
She's clean.

This right here is a collar
that is worn around the neck.

And also to prevent
any kind of choke hold

if you get involved in a riot

and the police are trying to
to get...

Contain the, uh, situation.

-Spread your legs, come on.
-Come on!

For youngsters on probation,
under probation supervision,

often times this will
constitute a weapon.

And they are not allowed
to wear this.

PENELOPE: Have you heard of people
getting hurt with these things?

Oh, yes.

Check my ass
as much as you want.

[SCREAMING]

The devil horns.
Black Sabbath, yeah!

Many kids, if you ask them,

they'll say,
"Well, that mean heavy metal."

It looks like
two fingers poking up.

-It's kinda like a horn.
-You know how to do that?

No, like this.
No, like this.

It's the two fingers up

to represent the authority
of the devil.

People would go,
yeah, yeah, yeah...

I don't know,
it's the sign of evil I guess.

Or it could be the sign of Satan
according to the Jesus crispies,

outside the arena
with their big Jesus posters.

The three fingers down

to represent
the denial of the trinity.

This is Satan's head
and this is his horns

and if you do this,
you're absolutely possessed.

Also with in this hand gesture
we have three sixes.

A six here, a six here
and a six here.

Which represents the 666

in the book of Revelations
in the Bible.

I like death
and destruction and...

Frenzy and hatred.

Not that I like doing
it or anything,

I just like reading about it

and hearing it, just like,
you know...

Some one likes horror movies
or novels.

PENELOPE: So a lot of people would
think you'd be a violent person.

-Are you?
-No, I'm not violent.

PENELOPE: Do you think, Ozzy is a,

you know,
messenger of the devil?

PENELOPE: Does it bother you that

they accuse you
of being satanic?

It pisses me off.
It, it does piss me off.

It's hard to tell what Ozzy's
intentions are.

But the thing that we see
is the behavior that results

from kids who take
the lyrics literally.

PENELOPE: So you're not really
into the devil then, huh?

-Yes.
-[BOTH LAUGHING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi, I'm Bill Gazzarri.
The godfather of rock 'n' roll.

And welcome to Gazzarri's

on the strip
in Hollywood, California.

You can see
when the public comes in,

they're normal.

After about a half hour
of rook 'n' roll,

they're no longer normal.

They're jumping all over
the place.

I mean, you have to pick them
off the walls.

PENELOPE: Tell me about
the Gazzarri dancers

and the contest?

We started to have
a Gazzarri dance contest

and then we started to have
it every week

with the finals every year.

And then we started giving out

the title Miss Gazzarri
dancer of the year.

There's been so much
fucking bullshit

about this contest being fixed,

that I'm gonna make damn sure
you all understand this.

At the end of the contest

when they announce
all the winners.

The judges sheets will be
available at the front door,

for any motherfucker to inspect.

And I oughta take care
of all the fucking bullshit

about this contest being fixed.

And we are missing
a couple of asses here.

It's a classy place.

And, it's, it's on Sunset

and you think Beverly Hills
is classy.

They can't hold a candle
to this place.

Love machine grooves away
Grooves you in

Wanting accusation

[CROWD CHEERING]

PENELOPE: You ever find yourself

wanting to wear
ear plugs in here?

Well, I, I do put cotton
in my ears when I come in.

But I hear the music better
that way.

No complications

I know that you were dancing
With the best

That's right!

Oh, woman there loves you

She loves you

My name is Cindy Burmisa.

PENELOPE: And how has it been
being a Miss Gazzarri Dancer?

It has been the greatest
time of my life.

PENELOPE: What was the best
part of it?

Getting up there
in front of a million people

and really doing it.

PENELOPE: What are you going to do
now? Are you gonna, um...

I'm gonna continue
on my modeling

and...

Um, hopefully I'll
get on with my actressing.

Shooting some movies.

PENELOPE: Do you feel bad that

you're almost finished
with the titles?

Not at all.

I'll be happy
to turn over my crown

and I hope the best for them.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

Whoa, a woman
That will love you

Love ya

PENELOPE: What do you get
from winning the contest?

A feeling of accomplishment.

-Really?
-Money.

I think it's a catalyst
for my future career.

PENELOPE: If you win, what are you
gonna do with the $1,000?

Um...

Hopefully invest it
into something

like a down payment
on a condo.

That's what I'm trying to do
right now.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

PENELOPE: Nadir, tell me what
you thought of the dance contest.

I, you know, I like to watch
a chick dance.

If she wants to dance, come over
to my house and dance for me.

Not for a million dudes,
you know.

[METAL MUSIC PLAYING]

Let it out!

Let it out!

Let it out!

Oh! You get a zero!

[LAUGHS]

Go, go!

PENELOPE: What do you think?
Was the dance contest fun?

That's stupid.
Doesn't belong in music.

Get it away from it.

Fucking, get
a comedian up there.

These guys are
personal friends of mine.

There's Randy, I love him.

He's gonna be
bigger than David Lee Roth,

who started right here.

Help me bring on
my pal Randy, and Odin.

Let's go.

Odin! Odin!

He's believed in us
for a long time.

- That's right.
-For a very long time.

Odin! Odin! Odin!
Odin! Odin!

I mean, I know personally
that I want...

I mean, I want to go

as big as like Zeppelin,
The Rolling Stones,

the Beatles or like that.

I mean, I don't want
to be another band.

I don't want to be just another
fucking band.

Odin! Odin!

-Odin!
-Odin! Odin! Odin!

Well, I just wanna be
extremely wealthy.

I want to be remembered
for the rest of my life

for my grandchildren's
grandchildren's lives.

Odin! Odin! Odin!

They're gonna be very, very big
in the rock and roll world.

Besides, the singer
is a foxy guy.

[ODIN PLAYING LITTLE GYPSY]

Little Gypsy!

Take a trip into the city

Watching everything
That comes by me

My girl she's looking pretty

She's the new girl on the scene

Oh, I've been waiting
Waiting for my turn to come

Watch her move
Watch her groove

She's got me wrapped up
on her tongue

Sing it, she's my girl

Lookin' good

I'll take the risk,
Until it's understood

-Gypsy
-Gypsy

-Gypsy
-Gypsy

She's my little gypsy

PENELOPE: Randy,
why do you wear pants

that don't have no butt in them?

Yeah.

'Cause it ventilates
my scrotum sac.

Take a trip into the city

Watching everything
That comes by me

My girl she's looking pretty
She's the new girl on the scene

She's my girl

Lookin' good

I'll take the risk,
Until it's understood

PENELOPE: So how long do
you think till Odin gets signed?

-The next four to six months.
-Yeah?

-And then what's gonna happen?
-And then super stardom.

Super fucking stardom.

If you want to take
me serious, you can,

if you don't want to take me
serious, you don't have to.

But I'll say, this face,

people are gonna
fucking remember it, okay?

And it's gonna go down
in history. I know that.

I don't wanna be
like Jim Morrison,

but I wanna go down in history
like that.

-Or Robert Plant.
-MAN: That's right.

Or any of the really
bigger people.

And I feel it's within us
and within me.

-What if it doesn't happen?
-It's gonna happen.

She's my little

Gypsy!

PENELOPE: Why do you girls
hang out with this band?

-Because they have good music.
-Yeah.

And 'cause they're good looking.

Really good looking.

PENELOPE: Do you guys
ever get discouraged?

Yeah, there are times
when we get really discouraged.

I mean, I've been known to be
suicidal and stuff like that.

It's scary sometimes, you know,
what I'm gonna be doing

in maybe five or ten years
if it doesn't happen or...

PENELOPE: Have you ever seriously
tried to kill yourself?

I've come pretty close.

Yeah, I have, I have OD-ed
and stuff like that.

Yeah, that's why I don't
do drugs anymore

-and stuff 'cause...
-GIRL: Yeah, right...

[ALL LAUGH]

Are you ready?

Are you ready?

You get frustrated
when your potential

isn't tapped into at the time,
you know.

And you feel like you could
be there and you're not,

And it's just... That's
the frustration, you know.

It's like you have a one million
dollar check in your hand

and you have no place
to cash it.

PENELOPE: And is that worth
killing yourself for?

At times you can be
when you think about

being immortal superstars, yeah.
It can be.

I've never thought of killing
myself but I thought of, uh...

Like going out and being
a bum, you know, skid row.

You know,
taking the easy way out.

PENELOPE: So it's either
a rook 'n' roll star or a bum.

-That's your, that's your trip.
-That's it.

I think we're ready for a
12 o’clock high!

[PLAYING 12 O'CLOCK HIGH]

Went to the distance

Waiting to see the truth

What have you got?

Now, I

Got what I want

The truth is what you see

When you're looking at me

You tried your luck

You failed the day

You'll never win

'Cause I'm the master of the day
See you at 12 o'clock

12 o'clock
12 o'clock

12 o'clock high

See you at 12 o'clock
12 o’clock

12 o'clock high

Now, I

Am just what you want

Do it to me tonight

Do it right

So, I

Am just what you crave

Number one, I said

Got nothing to say

Sold out every club we've ever
played in the last two years,

now we're being
virtually ignored.

That's frustrating.

PENELOPE: Is that worth
killing yourself for

if you don't make it?

Well, there's nothing else
that I can really do

except music, you know.

And that's how I feel.

That's all I really wanna do
in my life is music,

and if I can't do that

then fuck everything else
around me, really.

12 o'clock
12 o'clock

12 o'clock high

Twelve o’clock high

PENELOPE: Do you think that
you're gonna be a rock star?

Oh, yes. Yeah, I'm going to be
a famous rock star, yeah.

Yeah. Yes, I wanna be
a rock star.

Gonna be rock stars.

I'm going to be a rock star.
I am going to be.

We wouldn't mind,
being rock stars.

But...

As long as, rock star is
defined as rich and... rich.

I think that it'll come
pretty easily for me.

You know, 'cause I'm different
from everyone else.

PENELOPE: What if you don't
make it as a rockstar?

Oh, I will.

PENELOPE: But if you don't,
in 10 years,

what are you going to be doing?

See, I will though, see.

PENELOPE: What if
you don't make it?

-But I will.
-I will make it.

-For sure?
-I'm not gonna quit until I do.

The main key is perseverance.
And I will persevere.

That question is not in my mind.

The minute you doubt,
is the minute you lose it.

What if I don't make it?

I'll find a vacant drainage
ditch or something...

Lay my bed down.

I don't know...

End up on skid row or something,
I don't know.

I don't know where I'm gonna be.

PENELOPE: Doesn't it
worry you?

No.

I'm like him,
that doesn't enter my mind.

I can't really,
I can't picture not making it.

You see, if you came
and heard us, you'd really...

You'd think the same thing too.

PENELOPE: That you are,
definitely gonna make it?

Oh, yeah.

PENELOPE: What if 10 years from now
it doesn't happen?

I don't believe that,

that it won't, because you can
do anything in life you want.

There ain't nothing
in this world you can't do.

-Do you have a back up plan?
-No.

No such thing.
No back up.

I don't know how
to do anything else.

We rock 'n' roll.
That's all we do.

I'm a singer.

-Well, I got no choice.
-Why?

We all fucked up in school.
We all, you know, we're just...

This is what we're here for.

PENELOPE: What if you don't
end up a rock star?

Well, if I don't,
then I'll die trying.

What do you think
your tombstone will say?

I don't want a tombstone,
I just...

I just want somebody to dig
a ditch and throw me in,

"See you later, pal,
have a good one".

PENELOPE: When you were
a little kid,

did you want to be a rook star?

Yes, I did. Definitely.

She wouldn't let me.

I go, "Mom, can I take
rock guitar?"

She says "Well...

"No, you can't 'cause you will,
you'll turn to one of those

"drug infested rook stars."

-Do you like touring?
-Yeah, I love it.

I've had women.
Like...

In my hotel room...
four of them at a time.

Say "Hey, take your drawers off"

and if they don't, I call my
security guard next door,

they come,
he throws them right out.

"Get outta here".

PENELOPE: What do you think
about that, Sandy?

I don't think about it.

If you can tour one year,

If you can tour... one year,

it'll take
four years off your life.

You know five,
four years, five.

PENELOPE: So, Chris, how many
gold records do you have?

Shit, one, two, three,
four, five, si...

I don't know. Who cares?
Who knows?

I don't know.

-So do you...
-Five, six, 10, 12, who cares?

-Do you consider yourself...
-A piece of crap.

Why?

Well, because, you know
I work a job

and I'm a piece of crap.

PENELOPE: Does it bother you
that this lifestyle

is dangerous to your health?

Health?
What do you mean, health?

Look at me.
I look 40?

-30?
-How old are you?

I'm 29.

I'm what they call,
an old fuck.

Look at my mom! Shit!

PENELOPE: What do you think
you're gonna

be doing in 10 years from now?

Ten? I'll probably be dead.

You can come see my graveyard.

Mom, have a drink.

-Chris? Do you drink very much?
-Yes, ma'am.

-Pardon?
-Do you drink very much?

Yes, I do.
I'm a full blown alcoholic.

Just when he's awake.

I drink too much.

PENELOPE: Okay,
why do you drink that much?

'Cause I enjoy it.

Do you think a
rock 'n' roll lifestyle

-turns you into an alcoholic?
-Yes, it does.

PENELOPE: How much of that
do you drink a day?

About...

-Five pints
-Of vodka?

Five quarts, pints, who cares?

I'm a happy camper.

PENELOPE: Do you think, maybe,
just kind of, you know...

Rook 'n' roll lifestyle is hard
on you and that's why you drink?

I'm a full blown alcoholic

and why I drink, is 'cause...
look...

What?

PENELOPE: Why do you drink, Chris?

'Cause it makes me happy...
Happy.

I enjoy drinking.
I just enjoy life.

I'm the happiest son of a bitch
and motherfucker, there ever was.

PENELOPE: Why do you get
so loaded though?

'Cause it's
the only thing that...

Lets me get free, you know...

PENELOPE: You think you might be
covering up some pain?

Yeah, little bit.

PENELOPE: Where would that be from,
I wonder?

Here... Do you like this label?

PENELOPE: Let's not avoid the issue.
Where would that be from?

This...
Okay... here...

PENELOPE: Do you wish... Chris?

Do you wish that you were...

A bigger star,
than you are right now?

Do I wish what?

That you were a bigger star
than you are?

Not really.

I wish I was a smaller star.

I don't dig
being the person I am.

And...

I just don't like it.

I just don't...

Being the person who...
Who's like...

Excuse me...

Being who I am is like...

Here, watch.

I had a whiskey bottle the size
of the Empire State building

in front of me all the time.

I have a disease
called alcoholism

and drug... drug...
drug dependency.

I am actually an alcoholic now,
I guess I think...

I'm probably about four on the
Richter scale of alcoholism.

I was always at about 3.2,
at all times.

If I would've been stopped
driving at any time,

even if I hadn't anything
to drink for two weeks,

I would still have been
legally drunk.

I'd get tired of waking up

hungover, having to do
a couple of lines,

and a couple of beers,
just to get moving, you know.

Which is where I was at...

Then you gotta get that
together

so you can go
and cop dope.

PENELOPE: What was
the Betty Ford Clinic like?

Boring.
No, actually...

The educational value was okay,
it made me realize

that I was an alcoholic
and that I am a drug addict.

But still, I am an alcoholic.
You always are, you know.

-But you feel better now?
-No.

But after a while,
when you do it so much,

it's like the same
as the first time.

It turns into a...
you know, it turns against you

-especially with drugs.
-Did rook 'n' roll do it to ya?

Yeah, well, I guess
it did because

we got a free bottle backstage
every show you see, so...

I mean you don't wanna leave
the last

quarter of the bottle so you
tend to finish it up, you know.

The worst thing I can imagine
is hurting yourself.

You may as well
just jump off a building,

I mean what's the difference?

These bands really
wanna make it.

They stay away from drugs,
maybe these kids will do

the drugs that float for free,
every once in a while

but that doesn't happen much.

It's just
there is not enough time.

Most of the kids who wanna
make it stay away from drugs.

-No, I'm not into drugs.
-I think drugs suck.

It's bullshit. We've seen it
ruin a lot of people.

Personally, I find that I don't
need drugs to have a good time.

All I need is loud music,
and a lot of friends.

I don't think you can
enjoy a show,

if you go and get wasted,
you know,

don't even remember
the show the next day.

Basically, the metal
is a drug to me

I don't need it to get strung
out or anything, if I hear

like Sabbath Volume Four,
that is my drug.

You can't be a musician
and a drug addict.

Neither one nor the other.

I don't know, people ask me
if I am an alcoholic,

I guess you can consider me
an alcoholic, I drink every day.

I don't think
I let it affect my life.

I show up for band practice,

I mean that's
all that's important.

We do drugs, we do alcohol.

It doesn't mean
you should do it.

Sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll
used to be a fun thing to do

but it ain't any more.

You can play Russian Roulette
for five years and

never get hurt and then one time

you pull the trigger
and it's all over.

The thing is, belief in yourself
should be the drug, really.

Your confidence is what
should really inspire you

and keep you going
to do what you wanna do.

Think a lot of people look to
people in show business

or anybody who's famous

to model their lifestyle on.

One of my role models was Keith
and every once in a while

I'd see him...
We'd exchange goodies.

But I always looked up to him
for the way of life that he

lived, and it was a way of life
for him, it still is.

And sometimes,
they're your friends and...

You have to stop
being their friend

when they don't listen because

it's like somebody drowning.

They'll drag you down with them,
it's just not worth it.

So... if you're modeling
your lifestyle on somebody

and it turns out that they died
on smack,

that's not very clever, see.

I don't think
there's anything admirable

about being a dead legend,

and that's probably
the reason why I'm not into it.

It was killing me,
and I felt that I was probably

much more effective
alive than dead.

I wouldn't put that to a vote.

Go check out Jim Morrison
and Jimmy Hendrix

and Janice Joplin,
that's not my idea of fun.

Because it's a lot of hours
of throwing up blood and stuff

like that and if you're gonna
do that on stage, it's great

but it's not that much fun
in a Holiday Inn, you know.

I have a prescription
for a happy life which is,

sex, drums and rook 'n' roll.

[ROCK SONG PLAYING]

BILL: We kinda let that go,
but the rules of my contest is

that's a little bit too skimpy
because

we're looking for a
Gazzarri dancer, not kind of a

risqué stuff like that.

There will be no bikinis,
or G-strings or stuff like that,

they have to wear foxy
rook 'n' roll clothes.

[BOOING]

Boo?

Boo?

Boo?

Okay...
I'll tell you what?

Why don't you guys
run a contest?

-[CROWD CHEERING]
-Okay?

You mean, you want
a strip contest instead?

-MAN: Fuck you, man.
-Okay.

GIRL: They're just looked at as
sex objects.

'Cause afterwards, the guys
make fun of them anyway.

You can hear 'em talkin' about
it, making fun of them.

She starts taking all her
shit off, right

and all of a sudden,
I notice while she's dancing,

that she doesn't have any
fucking underwear on

and we're sitting there going,

"Fuck, we have muff,
we have muff!'

[CROWD CHEERING]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

You know what, he ended up
that night with the...

Fifth runner up.
We did all right.

PENELOPE: So, Bill,

you walk around the club
all the time with these

18 year old girls and people ask
you "How you do it, right?"

What do you say?

I liked 18 year old girls,
when I was 18!

I love 'em now!

Why should I stop?

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

They say "You're not like a
60-year old guy,

"you're like three 20 year old guys,
with all the energy you have".

Rook 'n' roll forever!

PENELOPE: That's a cut.

So what's the biggest audience
you ever played for?

Well, that would be in
probably in Hungary.

-How many people?
-27,000.

-83,000.
-83,000.

146,000 people.

158,000 people
in São Paulo, Brazil.

-Which is still a record.
-You beat KISS?

-Well, we always try.
-Yeah.

You're looking at 83,000 people
thinking,

"Man, I gotta entertain
these people"

You know what I'm saying,
83,000 shoes times two makes...

What is that?

A state. It wasn't police there,
there was the army,

the whole army,
was like the security.

And the great thing about it
was that it was in Brazil

and the nice thing about that is
you really realize rock 'n' roll

is the thing that
holds the world together.

'Cause music
is the common language.

Oh, the first time you break
through to an audience

and they all go nuts,
that's better than screwing,

you know that's better,
that's the best.

Better than sex,

better than anything
in the world you could ever do.

It's like this...
I love it. It's great.

-It's like beating off?
-It's worse than that.

PENELOPE: What do you think about
kids that wanna try to make it?

Sure, I did, why not?
Go for it.

If you think you've got it!

Shove it out. Run it up the flag
pole and see who salutes it.

The only people that are ever
gonna tell you

you can't accomplish something
are the ones who fail.

I'm not here to tell you,
you can't do something

'cause I did it.

You can do it.

TYLER: I wanted it so bad.

You know that's one thing
looking back, I know that...

If you want something that bad,

and you think positive about it,

and... to the point
where you become it,

therefore you are it.

You gotta believe that
you're going to make it,

and if you don't, at least you
gave 100% trying to make it.

Anybody that sits on top of his
palace, after you've worked

all your life to get it
and says

"It's lonely at the top, it's
just miserable, it's just..."

They're full of it.
It's the best.

But at the same time, we're not
such thin people, that you know

I mean we dry up and blow away,
you know

start injecting drugs,
because, you know,

we didn't get a hit single
or something.

I'd rather be happy.

I would rather be broke and
happy, than rich and sad.

PENELOPE: What do you
have to say to kids

who wanna make it as a rock star?

Don't!

What I wanna be when I grow up?

I would say...

I would say happy.

Did you ever think
that I'd get lonely?

Did you ever think
that I needed love?

Did you ever think,

stop thinking you're the only
one I'm thinking of?

You'll never know
how hard I tried

to find my space
and satisfy you too.

Things will be better
when I'm dead and gone.

PENELOPE: Do you ever feel
that way about your parents?

I've had a pretty good
relationship with my folks.

-I don't know.
-Are they proud...

A lot of people have a bad
relationship with their parents,

that's why they end up being
disappointed with life.

They take it out on themselves,
a lot of parents

are real dickheads. They treat
their kids real miserably.

You know, and that's why
we grow up like this.

I'm in this business
for the reason that

Megadeth is in this business
and that's because of attitude,

integrity and music.

PENELOPE: Do you want to live
a lifestyle of a...

-of a rock star?
-Nah!

That's megalomania to me,

I don't wanna get used to
something that'll run out,

I'd rather stay myself
all the way, and not ever

get used to, you know,
having a huge lifestyle

so that in case anything happens
like I lose an arm or something,

then you know, I have to get
used to being a bum again.

We don't want to sit here and
talk about all kinds of

perverted sexual games
we do on tour,

we don't want to sit here and
talk about drugs,

we don't talk about a lot of
same old rehash stuff that bands

keep doing over and over again
in this business...

Yeah, I wanna stay on a street
level because then I don't have

any pretentious values in life.

I don't start writing music
just for the dollar sign.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

We're on the road so much

that you have to
keep your wits about you.

This music is technical music,
it is

harder to play than most of the
other rock bands out there and,

I think that you need to
keep your chops in shape,

you need to
keep your health in shape.

And I'm not gonna
cheat the audience that way,

I don't get high when I'm
practicing at home alone,

so why should I do it
when I go up on stage?

I mean, as far
as I'm concerned,

a band should go up on stage

and play for themselves,
not having to put make-up on

and stuff like that.

I mean, it's like a wall of
Marshalls and your band playing,

that's a show for me.

[PLAYING IN MY DARKEST HOUR]

In my hour of need,

Ha, no, you're not there

And though I reached out for you

Wouldn't lend a hand

Through the darkest hour

DAVE: Well we get categorized

into a lot of different metal
monikers...

PENELOPE: What do you
think you are?

Megadeth, that's the best
way to explain us

because we don't really
like to be labeled anything,

I think categorization is a sin
because it cuts you off

it doesn't let you go any far,
you can't expand,

some of the satanic bands,
they can't write anything about

politics or love or anything
like that or no love or whatever

because they're dealing
strictly with Satan.

PENELOPE: So, Dave, how come
you write about death so much?

Not only death, it's more about
awareness you know

because without death
life would be

meaningless, don't you think?

Raise your head, raise your
face, your eyes

I mean life, death, sex,

-pretty happening to me.
-Yeah.

-What else is there?
-Beer, maybe.

Beer!

[PENELOPE LAUGHS]

I walk, I walk alone
Into the promised land

There's a better place for me

But it's far, far away

Everlasting life for me
In a perfect world

But I gotta die first

Please, God, send me on my way

Time has a way of taking time

Loneliness is not only
Felt by fools

Alone I call to ease the pain

Yearning to be held by you

Alone so alone I'm lost

Consumed by the pain

The pain, the pain, the pain,

Won't you hold me again?

And you just laughed,
ha ha, bitch

My whole life is work
Built on the past

But the time has come
When all things shall pass

This good thing passed away

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

DAVE: When it starts going
to your head

and you start thinking that
you're God, it's stupid!

Because in my book,
there's always somebody better.

It's like David Lee Roth said,

you're here today,
gone later today

PENELOPE: You guys
get signed yet?

It's getting close,
very close.

Everybody in rock 'n' roll,
heavy rock,

is supposed to be stupid,
and we're not stupid.

Rook 'n' roll should corrupt
kids enough to think.

There's nothing wrong
with thinking.

They will not stop
rock 'n' roll.

This is what it is.

To be a rook 'n' roll star

is the greatest thing
in the world

Popes don't get laid and I do.

Just be real careful,
wear a rubber,

and don't do drugs,
what can I say?

Just remember one thing,

you meet lot of people
on the way up,

don't fuck them 'cause you meet
them on the way down as well.

I love you.

[UNDER MY WHEELS BY
ALICE COOPER PLAYING]

The telephone is ringing

You got me on the run

I'm driving in my car now

Anticipating fun

I'm driving right up to you,
babe

I guess that you couldn't see,
yeah, yeah, yeah

But you were under
my wheels, honey

Why don't you let me be?

Never stops ringing

'Cause when you call me on
the telephone, sayin'

Take me to the show

And then I say,
honey, I just can't go

The old lady says
I can't leave her home

Telephone is ringing

You've got me on the run

I'm driving in my car now

I got you under my

I got you under my wheels

I got you under my wheels

I got you under my wheels

Telephone is ringing

You got me on the run

I'm driving in my car now

Anticipating fun

I'm driving right up
to you, babe

I guess that you couldn't see,
yeah, yeah, yeah

But you were under
my wheels, honey

Why don't you let me be?

I got you under my wheels

I got you under my wheels

I got you under my wheels

I got you under my wheels

You got me on the run

Because I want to

Our first runner up,

Lisa

Moreno.

Lisa Moreno.

Where is Lisa?

MAN: She's gone!

She's gone?

[INDISTINCT TALKING]

You're kidding!