All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S06E16 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Lane, we're getting
Backed up here.

Lane:
Done in a sec.

Hey.

Hey.

No bacon today.
I had to fire my meat guy.

How could you fire
Pepper pot?

He's so cute,

And his mother has that skin
Condition they can't diagnose.

He never brings
What I order.

I have 16 pounds of corned beef
And no turkey.

He's so sweet, and his father
Has that foot-grafting operation

Coming up next month.

I can't keep a guy on because
His parents are falling apart.

I know, but he tells
Those funny little limericks,

And his sisters were surgically
Separated two weeks ago.

What are you doing,
Kirk?

Did you just eat
A 3 musketeers?

No.

You really smell
Like nougat.

Stop sniffing my fiancée.

My senses are more finely tuned
These days.

What is the scary man
Talking about?

He's on a juice fast.

Why?

Wanted to clean out the pipes,
Refocus the arteries.

I want to get
The healthy glow

Of someone who consistently
Goes to the gym...

Without having to go
To the gym.

You look
Positively radiant.

You want eggs?
Eggs...

Scrambled
And a couple pancakes, please.

Blueberry pancakes.

Kirk, eat something.

What? Oh, no,
I'm doing fine.

Yeah, okay.
Hold on there, speed racer.

I have to get these orders

Since I'm the only one
Serving here.

Almost done, luke.

I just want to remind you
About rory's panel --

The young voices
Of journalism panel.

Rory's thing?

Well, it looks like christopher
Is going to be there, also,

And I just thought
You should know.

He's been showing up
A lot lately.

He's trying to make good
For rory, so...

I'm good.
I'll get you those pancakes.

Blueberry pancakes.
Blueberry pancakes!

Okay,
What do you think?

[ gasps ] Oh, nice.
Very "White rabbit."

Well, I want it
To stand out.

It does.
It's great.

What do you think
Of the picture?

The picture's great.
What's wrong with the picture?

I photograph so asian.

Yeah, well, I think ming-na
Has that same problem.

I have to get back in a band.
I'm going crazy not playing.

I can imagine.

You go from having
Band practice every day

And seeing certain people
Every day,

And then suddenly you're not.

You mean zach?

And brian and gil.

Yeah.
You guys still aren't talking?

Well, the flyer is great.

Thanks.

I like the shiny,
Fancy pens you used.

They're luke's daughter's,
Actually.

She left them here last week,
And I snagged them.

Good score.
[ chuckles ]

So she's been coming around
A lot lately, huh?

Yeah, she comes in here
And studies or draws.

We even play some games
When things get slow.

She kicks my ass
At scrabble.

Oh, yeah?

When we play monopoly,
I rule,

Because she's a kid and hasn't
Gotten the monopoly concept.

She still thinks park place
Is a good buy.

Sweet.
Yeah.

I used to play board games
With rory a lot.

She'd get very upset
When I'd cheat. So cute.

It's hard to cheat
With april.

She spends the first 20 minutes
Reading the rules manual

Right in front of you.

Rory was obsessed
With battleship.

I always thought she was gonna
Join the navy when she grew up.

Well, there's still time.

Yes, fingers crossed.

Hey, lane,
How about a raise?

Sorry, luke.
I got to go.

Peach shampoo?

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

You hate it.

I don't, and I promise
I'm gonna run it.

I just need you to cut
About 400 words.

Don't give me that look.
Simplify your prose.

You'll still
Get your point across,

And I won't have to publish

A newspaper the size of
A david foster wallace novel.

Paris?

Yes?

I wanted to give you some notes
On your campus safety piece.

Fine.

Um, well,
I think it's good.

It's really good, actually,

Um, but the lead's
A little flabby.

Getting into an example might
Give it more punch up top.

If you say so.
Anything else?

Uh, some of the quotes read
Too long.

I'd cut two or three and trim --
Paris, what are you doing?

I don't know.
What am I doing?

You're not making eye contact
With me.

I'm looking right at you.
No, you're not.

Want to test me?
Brown hair, blue eyes.

Here's your hard copy.
I think those notes will help.

Of course you do.
They're your notes.

Not because they're my notes,
Because they're good notes.

Says the note giver.
It'll take half an hour.

Fine.

That was unpleasant.
Try sleeping with her.

I'll take your word
For it.

No, it's impossible because
She doesn't sleep anymore.

She makes damn sure
I don't, either.

Last night she decided it would
Be fun to watch "Saw ii"

At 3:00 in the morning.

Then when I woke up and asked
Her if she could turn it down,

She berated me for being
A film snob.

How are you handling it?

I believe the term for it is
"Keeping my mouth shut."

I don't know what to do
With her.

She's one of
The best reporters we have,

But she has gone way beyond
Her normal level of nuts.

She's on the warpath right now.
She'll calm down.

She just needs some time.

You know, maybe I could
Give her more to do.

That piece she just wrote
Would make a great series.

Giving her something like that
Might help her rebound faster,

Make her
The normal paris again.

Um, sure.

That wasn't
Very convincing.

It's your call.

Former editor to current editor.
What do you think?

[ sighs ] Would you do that
For any other staffer

Who was treating you
The way she is?

No.

I have more interest

In paris snapping out of this
Than anyone.

I think it's something
She's gonna get to on her own.

Yeah. Yeah,
You're probably right.

I got to go.

I'm gonna sneak back
To the apartment,

See if I can
Get a few hours of sleep

Before paris comes home
And spends the rest of the night

Wanting to play
The jazz trumpet.

Yeah,
She bought a trumpet.

Hey, lou.
Okay if I put an ad up?

They come down
After two weeks.

I can abide by that.

Zach: * take me riding
In the car, car *

* take me riding
In the car, car *

* take me riding
In the car, car *

* I'll take you riding
In the car *

Joel.

Mom, come on.
That's not cool.

* click-clack,
Open up the door, girls *

* click-clack,
Open up the door, boys *

* front door, back door,
Clickety-clack *

[ music stops ]

Joel, take it.
Take what?

The song. Take it.

Well, unh!

Yeah!

[ tambourine jingles ]

Unh!

Yeah! Yeah!

Yeah! Come on!

[ "Kool thing" by sonic youth
Plays loudly ]

Hey.

* now you know
You're sure looking pretty *

Aah!
Oh, you scared me.

Sorry.
What?

Sorry!
What?!

[ volume decreases ]

Sorry.

I guess that was
A little loud.

What?!
Sorry!

I'm telling you, we should take
This on the road.

I see you went with faye dunaway
In "Network."

And maureen dowd "Come hither"
Pumps for good measure.

I wish I could be there
For you.

Oh, you do not.
I do, too.

You'd be asleep
In three minutes.

The pumps would've kept me going
For at least four.

I'm in a suit
At 2:00 in the afternoon.

Honor has to have everyone
Dressed for a wedding rehearsal.

How'd I get conned
Into this?

Into what?
Being one of
Josh's groomsmen.

You like josh.
I don't even know josh.

He's gonna be
Your brother-in-law.

Yes, exactly. Key word
Is "Going." he's not now.

Your tie is crooked.

[ sighs ]

But as of today,
Josh is simply the guy

Who holds my sister's purse
When she goes shopping,

And because of that, I have
To spend the next six hours

Practicing to walk
In a straight line.

You have yet to accomplish that,
So practice wouldn't hurt.

[ sighs ] I'm not there,
And I'm bored already.

You can always talk to your
Good friend flasky.

Right.
Thanks for the reminder.

I just don't understand
Wedding rehearsals.

The bachelor party, I get.

I bet you do.

The actual ceremony, I get.
But the rehearsal, I don't get.

Wallet.
And after we finish
Rehearsing,

I have to sit through
A 5-course dinner

Surrounded by my new family

And honor's brigade
Of moronic bridesmaids.

Oh, come on, you love honor.
Her friends can't be that bad.

Oh, no.

Blondie, dipsy, bubbles,
Four nose jobs, charm mcgee --

All great gals.
Meow.

Can't you just do the panel,
Blow off the mixer,

And meet me
For the dinner?

Logan, come on.

By the time I get out of there
And get back here to change,

Drive all the way to new york,
Dinner would be over.

No, it wouldn't.
Dinner's never gonna be over.

It's gonna last forever.

I will be here waiting for you
When you get back,

And I will have aspirin.

Fine.
I'll be back by 11:00 --

10:50, possibly 10:30.

Go.
Fine.

Did you forget something?

You look incredible.
Knock 'em dead.

[ door closes ]

[ volume increases ]

Hey.
Hey.

Nice seats.

I got here early
And scouted out the best ones.

We were more towards the middle,
But then two people --

I'm pretty sure
It was brigitte nielsen

And kareem abdul-jabbar --
Sat right in front of me.

Brigitte and kareem
Showed up, huh?

I swear, any place with
Free cheese and crackers,

They are there.

You look nice.
Thanks.

I think this haircut
Cost more

Than all the haircuts
I've had in my life combined.

Hmm.
Well, it was worth it.

It looks very, very short.

Mom, dad.

The woman of the hour.

You made it.
Of course we did.

Careful! The hair --
It's pinned perfectly.

Whoa.

Yeah. Sorry.
So, are you excited?

Yeah, and nervous. I've got
A lot of talking points.

I feel like I'm gonna
Forget everything.

You're gonna do great, hon.

Yeah, you are. You're a natural
At this kind of thing.

Remember -- if things don't go
Well, we will stop loving you.

I better get up there.
I'll see you guys afterwards.

Yeah.
We'll be rooting for you.

It's not really a root-for-me
Thing, but thank you.

Well, we brought
Foam fingers.

We're doing the wave
If things get dull.

Dud?

Gordon:
Welcome, everybody,

To the young voices
Of journalism panel.

I'm arthur gordon, a professor
Of english here at yale,

And I shall be moderating
Today's panel.

We're joined today
By the editors of

The country's most prestigious
Collegiate newspapers.

Whoo-hoo!

We have before us editors
From the harvard crimson,

The daily princetonian,

The cornell daily sun,
The daily pennsylvanian,

And the yale daily news

All here today to tell us
What's on their minds,

To hear where they think

Ivy-league journalism
Is heading,

And more broadly,
To share their views

On the future
Of the free press in america.

Whoa. Heavy.

I will begin by posing a series
Of questions to our panel.

Now let's begin.

I was wondering how
The panelists would describe

The state of journalistic ethics
On a collegiate level

In the post-judy miller era,
And --

Wonderful question.
Quentin walsh,
Daily princetonian.

The ramifications of the scandal
To which you obliquely alluded

Ought not to be
Underestimated.

I hate this guy already.

Rory told me about him.
That's "Pompous princeton guy."

If your parents name you that,
What chance do you have?

The struggle to preserve
The fundamental principles

And rights upon which
Our free press depends

Was made far more difficult
By the choice

Of certain reporters who shall
Remain unnamed [laughs]

To capitulate
To governmental pressure

And divulge their sources.

He's unbelievable.

He's wearing a bow tie.

Should I dud him?

I myself have, on occasion,

Felt tremendous pressure
To divulge unnamed sources,

But I've stood my ground,

Knowing that while I may suffer
For my principled stand,

There was a much greater issue
At stake.

If I may?

Rory gilmore,
Yale daily news.

While I agree there is no
Greater or more important tool

For a free press
Than confidential sources,

I also think it unwise for us
To presume

From our limited experiences
Editing college newspapers

That we really have
Any true understanding

Of what it must feel like

When the federal government
Of the united states

Puts the screws to you.

I just think it would be
The height of hubris

For us to claim
That we know what we would do

When faced
With that kind of pressure.

But that's just
One reporter's opinion.

We created her.

Out of thin air.

I just don't care how funny
The picture is.

If it's not newsworthy -- and
I can't see how it would be --

I would not publish a picture

Of the university president
Stuffing his face

With key lime pie
At the drama club bake sale.

I'm sure president levin
Will be pleased to hear that.

[ laughter ]

If someone pushed key lime pie
In the president's face

As a statement,
That I would print.

Me, too -- front page.

Quentin,
You agreed with me.

I didn't think
You were capable.

[ laughter ]

On that note,
We have to end our discussion.

I'd like to thank
All our panelists

For a terrific discussion
And thank you all for coming.

Our girl's got skills.

She even had her archrival
Laughing with her by the end.

She's keeping her enemies
Close and giggling.

Very devious.

So?

If I had a cooler of gatorade,
I'd pour it over your head.

Sounds refreshing.
So, I was pretty good, wasn't I?

You dazzled.

You totally wiped the floor
With pompous princeton guy.

Well, the floor looked
A little dirty.

So, can we take you out
For an ice-cream soda?

Sorry. We have this editor''
Mixer thing now. Rain check?

Yeah, go. Mix well.

Bye, hon.

We were
Just rain-checked.

Yep.

I don't know
How I feel about that.

Okay, so I kept track,
Wrote 'em down.

I got 16 words that she used
That I have never heard before.

Perspicacious?

17 words that I have
Never heard before.

My god, she's smart.

She is smart.

She's anthony michael hall
In "Breakfast club" smart.

I'm very proud
And mystified.

[ beeping ]
Well, me, baby, all me.

Oh, it's my new nanny.

Oh, does sienna
Know about this?

Actually, this is the fourth
New nanny in six months.

I'm telling you,
Pickings are slim out there

For someone decent
To look after your kid.

That's why
They invented parents.

Ah, crap,
She can't work sunday.

What's going on sunday?

I promised my mother
I'd take her to the cemetery

To visit my dad's grave.

I'm thinking it might not be
The thrill for g.G.

That it's gonna be
For the rest of us.

Not without noisemakers,
It won't.

This single parent stuff.
Fun, huh?

I tell you, I can't wait till
G.G. Starts school.

G.G.'s starting school?
You're so old.

Where is she gonna go?
Not sure yet.

These snotty private schools
Are impossible.

There are waiting lists
And psychological tests

And blood samples
And sworn oaths

And dark
Back-room promises,

And every single headmistress
Looks like dick cheney.

You can always send her
To public school.

Yes, I could, if I wanted
To kill my mother.

Well, you will be
At the cemetery tomorrow.

Lor.
[ chuckles ]

If you're ever stuck and
You need somebody to watch her,

I'd be happy to fill in.

Really?

Yeah, I'm fun.
I like teletubbies.

Sober?
[ scoffs ]

I have got plenty
Of rory's old books and games,

And I'm totally
At your service.

Okay, well, I just may
Take you up on that.

So, what does
"Perspicacious" mean?

I don't know.
"Persp" -- to perspire?

Am I close?
Close enough for me.

[ band plays introduction
To "Hollaback girl" ]

Gil:
* so, that's right, dude

* meet me at the bleachers

* no principals,
No student teachers *

* both of us want to be
The winner *

* but there can only be one

* so, I'm gonna fight,
Gonna give it my all *

* gonna make you fall,
Gonna sock it to you *

* that's right,
I'm the last one standing *

* another one bites the dust

* a few times
I've been around that track *

* so it's not just gonna happen
Like that *

* I ain't no hollaback girl

* I ain't no hollaback girl

* a few times
I've been around that track *

* so it's not just gonna happen
Like that *

* 'cause I ain't no
Hollaback girl *

* I ain't no hollaback girl

* ooh, ooh,
That's my shh *

* that's my shh

* ooh, ooh,
That's my shh *

* that's my shh

* ooh, ooh,
That's my shh *

* that's my shh

* ooh, ooh,
That's my shh *

* that's my shh

* ooh, ooh

[ cheers and applause ]

Thank you, everyone.

That's our bat mitzvah girl
Julia lowman's

Favorite song in the world,
And I can see why --

Because it's full of strong
Female attitude, which I dig.

Let me tell you, julia,
Guys are turned on by that.

Don't think they aren't.

They like girls with legs
And brains,

Like smart biker chicks,
You know?

So keep on the path you're on,
Keep up with school,

And, baby, you're going places.

[ applause ]

I see the cake coming
Out of the kitchen, everybody,

So we're gonna break for
A couple minutes to sugar up.

Back in a few.

Zach: hey, guys.

I think you used too much
Whammy bar during "My humps."

I was out of control.

So, you guys aren't gonna
Talk to me?

What's there
To talk about?
Yeah, man.

You're way deep in my bogus bag,
And it's ziplocked shut.

Well, you guys
Sounded great.

Yeah, I get
What you're saying.

It's a west hartford bat
Mitzvah, not the albert hall.

Well, a gig's a gig.

Totally.
A gig's a gig.

This crowd is lucky.
I'm telling you, it was tight.

You could've played that
At the albert hall.

So, uh, I reached a new level
On soulcalibur iii.

Uh-huh.

Level 50 assassin.

Really?

I low-kicked through and chalked
Up a mess of perfects.

You're gonna take
The swordmaster mantel soon.

But you're, like,
The original swordmaster.

I beat the last boss.

Hit him middle, high, middle,
Low, middle, high.

Took forever to figure out
All his specials.

I know. I was sitting
Next to you when you did it.

It was awesome.

Listen, this thing with us --
I want to fix it.

It's too late.

It's not.
Look, I know I was an idiot.

If I could turn back time,
I would.

Oh, hey, "Turn back time."
We should add that to the set.

Cher is always
A slam dunk.

I want to get the band
Back together.

We were going somewhere,
You know?

About to play for a label,
And, well, I miss you guys.

I don't mean to get all
"Brokeback mountain" on you,

But we're buds, you know,
And I miss you,

And you're not gonna believe it,
But that kid over there

Is about to down a whole cup
Of maraschino cherries.

That's aton,
The feldmans' boy.

He's gonna do it, man.
He's gonna do it.

Kids: [ chanting ]
Go, go, go! Yay!

Gil: he did it!

I didn't think
He had it in him.

He is gonna be puking.

So, what do you say, guys?
You want to re-form hep alien?

Maybe,
If you can get lane.
She'll never come back.

Leave lane to me.
I'm gonna reason with her.

Well, if lane's in,
I'm in.

Me, too.
Hep alien has got to rock again.

Cool.

It's time for the big one.
Let's do it.

Kick ass, guys.

All right.

Let's bring
This whole mishpachah

Down to the dance floor,
'cause it's time to rock-a-dila!

* hava nagila

* hava nagila

* hava nagila

* venis'mecha

* hava nagila

* hava nagila

* hava nagila,
Venis'mecha *

This place is like
A labyrinth.

If you get lost, keep your hand
On the wall and keep walking.

You'll find your way out
Or get eaten by a minotaur.

Thanks, chum.
Josh, my man,
What's going on?

My cuff links
Have been stolen.

Don't worry.
I'm good at finding things.

At easter-egg hunts, they used
To make me wear an eye patch

To keep things fair.

Okay,
But I suspect thievery.

You'll be okay hanging out
By yourself for a while?

For at least a fortnight.
I'm good.

Go, put on your eye patch,
And find some cuff links.

I'll see you later.

Come on, josh.
Dead man walking!

Excuse me.
I'm trying to find the library.

Oh, sure,
It's in the east wing.

Rory!

Oh, hey, bride.
You look beautiful.

You like
My wedding sweats?

I think town & country
Might not approve.

How are you doing?
Okay.

You have to come back and hang
Out with me and the bridesmaids.

Oh, that's sweet, but I can't.
I have all this work.

Ladies, come on.
Makeup time.

And whoever took josh's
Cuff links, hand them over.

Look, the girls have cracked
Open a case of champagne.

I need you to be
My designated dresser.

You can't say no to a bride.
It's bad luck.

I guess I can do my work
Tomorrow.

That's always been my motto.
Come on.

All day, if anyone does
Something I don't want them to,

I'm saying it's bad luck.

I swear, getting married is
So fabulous!

Everybody, this is my lovely
Friend rory. Rory is gonna hang
Out with us while we get ready.

Some of you might have met at
The shower, but this is

Alexandra, walker,
Megan, and claude.

Hi.Hi.
Hi.Hi.

Welcome to the final hours
Of honor's maidenhood.

Honor's maidenhood didn't make
It to upper school at brearley.

Not true.
Turks and caicos -- 1996.

Anyway, we're here to celebrate
These last precious hours

Before we lose honor
To the dark side.

And to celebrate,
We drink booze.

Whoo!Whoo!
Whoo!Whoo!

Not me. I'm having one glass
Right before the ceremony.

Whatever you need
To tell yourself.

Ooh, I love that dress,
Rory.
Oh, thanks.

Is that carolina's?

Um, no, it's mine.

Oh, rory, this is italo.
Italo's a total genius.

If they gave macarthur grants
For hair, he'd get one.

Okay, girls, I need to get you
In these chairs pronto.

Bridezilla?
[ laughs ]

Okay, but just one now and
One right before the ceremony.

Whatever you need to tell
Yourself.

I need it to make a toast.
[ clears throat ]

To friends -- old and new,
Borrowed and blue.
You guys are awesome.

Yay!Yay!
Yay!Yay!

To honor
And to honor's honor.

The missing maidenhood.

[ cheering and laughing ]

[ doorbell rings ]

Hi.
Hey.

What's all this?
G.G.'s pillow.

Here's her blanket
And duvet cover.

What -- no mattress
And box spring?

She never goes anywhere
Without her duvet cover.

She calls it
Her scrunchy-bunchy

Because she likes
To scrunch it...

And bunch it. I get it.
Did you forget the kid?

Oh, uh, g.G.?
Come on, honey.

What's she chasing?
Oh, that's a cat.

Just so you know, that cat
Bites, scratches, and sprays,

And I'm pretty sure
It's in heat.

G.G.? Come on, sweetie.
Right now.

Hey, kiddo. I'm so excited
To hang out with you today.

G.G., you want to give
Lorelai a hug?

No!

G.G., please come back here
And pick up your jacket.

G.G.?

I'll get it for you.

Thanks again for doing this.
I really appreciate it.

Please.
I'm looking forward to it.

I managed to find uno
And checkers

And parts of battleship and most
Of the pieces of candy land,

Which I figure
We can mix together

To create a fabulous new game --
Candy ship battle land.

War never tasted so good.

Okay, then. Well, I'm off.

Go. Get out of here.

[ chuckles ]

[ gasps ]

You already figured how to
Turn on the tv on? You smarty.

So, what are we watching?

Shh!

"Shhhhh-indler's list"?

[ chuckles ]

Oh, "Full house."

You know,
I think the olsen twins

Weigh less now than they did
On that show.

Right. I get it.

I don't like it
When people talk to me

When I'm watching tv,
Either.

Okay, so I don't look obese?

You look like
A skeleton.

A beautiful,
Blushing skeleton.

Whoa.
What?

All of a sudden
The idea of marriage

Seems totally archaic
And insane.

Legally binding one woman
With one man until they die?

It's perverse.

Why on earth do people do this?!
Why am I doing this?!

Uh-oh. Freak-out.

You love josh, remember?

Oh, yeah, josh.

Okay.
Okay, freak-out over.

[ laughs ] I wonder if josh
Is freaking out.

We saw him before we took a
Smoke break. He looked nervous.

Oh, adorable.

Hey, can someone check
My sling-back?

It feels messed up,
And I can't reach my own feet.

Certainly.

Oh, yes, the sling-back
Is not slung back properly.

I think I can remedy this
If I just sling this back.

Oops!

Did that get on my dress?

Someone tell me
If I need to freak out.

It's fine.

[ laughing ] Get away from me,
You lousy drunk.

Hey, that's offensive.
I'm a terrific drunk.

I need my designated dresser.

At your service.

Make sure it's secure

Because I plan
On dancing tonight.

Speaking of dancing,

Has anyone warned rory
About the "Dignitaries"

Coming to the shindig?

I need warning?

The ambassador from luxembourg
Is very handsy.

No, you have to watch out for
That poet. What's his name?

The dude with the red face?

He just did a translation
Of the "Bhagavad gita."

Anyway, he acts like he's gay,
But it's such a ruse.

Total perv.

Poet, red face, not gay,
"Bhagavad gita," perv.

Got it.

I'm going to steal the bride
To take a couple quick pictures.

Honor, honey, grab your veil.
The rest of you --
3-minute warning.

You are dance-floor ready.

Thank you, my dear.
See you soon, everybody.

Head that way,
Toward the sitting room.

We don't want josh to see you
In your dress. It's bad luck.

Please. Like I care about things
Like that.

[ door closes ]

I look like a drag queen.
My hair is insane.

Alexandra: I want your hair.
Italo was punishing me.

I'll tell you what I want --
To hook up with someone tonight.

Remember that pinning guys
In the corner

And shoving your tongue
Down their throats

Can sometimes come off
As desperate.

But I am desperate,
I swear.

I might go home with
The ambassador from luxembourg.

Come on. There'll be plenty
Of eligible bachelors tonight.

Like who?

The groomsmen, for starters.

Tripp wallison
Is looking good.

You always think
He's looking good.

'cause he always is.
Anyway, so do you.

Alexandra and megan
Have both slept with tripp.

Small world.
I'm with liam.

You can have tripp.
Tripp's too short.

I'm over the whole
Mia farrow/woody allen thing.

How about josh's brother?

Poor man's josh?
Really poor man's?

He's the josh they give away
At the soup kitchens.

Oh,
There's always logan.

Been there, done that.

Claude: shush!

What "Shush"?
You should talk.

Rory is logan's girlfriend.

Oops.

Oh, my god, you're rory-rory.

I'm so retarded.
Don't worry.

This was way before you guys
Started dating.

This was back around
Thanksgiving.

Last thanksgiving?

It meant nothing.
Believe me -- meaningless.

Walker will have sex
With anyone.

I will.

I'm sure you know logan
And I dated,

But that was ages ago, eons,
Back when he drove a z3.

And then we had a stupid
One-night stand this december,

But there's nothing
Between us, I swear.

We're just friends who drank
Too much spiked eggnog.

Now he's met you, and you guys
Are so great together.

Thanks.

I didn't know you
Slept with logan.

I thought you two
Messed around.

Walker: no, you said you
Just messed around with him.

I said that he and I hooked up.
I meant hooked up-hooked up.

I thought you just meant
Messed around.

How come you never told me
You messed around with logan?

I'm with liam.
Officially, nothing happened.

These shoes
Are killing my feet.

Just scrunch up your toes
A little bit.

That's what I'm doing.
It feels good.

Did you hook up with logan
Around thanksgiving?

No way.
I was in biarritz.

Okay, ladies, time to line up.

The processional is
About to start.

Rory, you better go find
Your seat.

I look like rupaul.

Where's my flowers?
Does sofia have the flowers?

See you at the party,
Rory.

Oh, just f.Y.I. --
Before I got together with liam,

He slept with half
The upper east side,

And now he's loyal as a dog.

I need my flowers.

Oh, I already have
My flowers. Oops!
Bye, rory.

Bye, rory!
Bye, rory!Bye, rory!

I don't know
How you did it, kid,

But every single thing I own
Is now broken or missing.

Oh, g.G., hon, you're coloring
On the floor there.

It's not enough
The paper's near the marker.

It has to actually be
Under it.

G.G., give me -- oh, that's
A permanent marker, honey.

Give me that.
No!

Yes. Permanent marker causes
Permanent damage,

Which makes auntie lorelai
Permanently bitter.

No!

G.G.

[ gasps ] Oh, my god!

God, give me that.

[ screaming ]

If that's your
Donald sutherland

"Invasion of the body snatchers"
Impression, it's a good one.

[ screaming continues ]

"I'm sorry, ma'am, those tonsils
Are gonna have to come out."

[ screaming continues ]

G.G., please,
If you stop, I'll give you

One of those caramel apples
That I showed you, okay?

They're delicious, but to get
One you have to stop making

The world's most annoying noise
In 5, 4, 3, 2...

[ screaming stops ]

[ sighs ]
Thank you.

Nothing a little eardrum
Replacement surgery won't fix.

Come on,
Let's go in the kitchen.

G.G.? Hey, don't you go
Into rory's room.

You know you're not allowed
In there. G.G.? Hey, you.

[ door slams ]

I know this is a cliché,

But just wait
Till your father gets home!

Here you are.
Here I am.

I was looking all over
For you.

I didn't see you when
I was walking down the aisle.

Looked for you during
The ceremony. Where were you?

Here.

Here?
You missed the wedding?

I'll apologize
To honor later.

Forget honor.
What's going on?

Rory.

You didn't say a word.

You just let me walk
Into a room

Full of girls
You'd had sex with.

Oh, no, wait.
I'm sorry.

You only had sex
With two of them.

One you just "Fooled around
With," whatever that means.

She spared me the parameters
Of the fooling around.

You want to fill me in?
Rory.

You know what?
Never mind.

I've got a good imagination.
I can figure it out.

Okay, look.

I can't believe it --
You didn't just cheat on me,

You real cheated on me.

I didn't cheat on you.

Oh, so you didn't
Sleep with --

No, I did,
But we were broken up.

No, y were broken up,
Not me.

I thought
We were just taking some time.

Apart,
Not seeing each other.

Yes, taking some time, not
Seeing each other for a while.

That doesn't mean
"Broken up."

Oh, come on.

No!

To break up, you have to tell
The other person.

You can't just decide
That you're broken off

And then just go off and...

God, I can't believe I fell
For all your stupid tricks --

The coffee cart
And going to my mother.

You went to my mother.

Why would you bother
Going through that?

You had plenty of backup.
What do you need me for?

Because I love you.
No. Don't.

Rory, I didn't cheat on you.
I didn't lie to you.

You didn't tell me.
Of course not.

Why would I want you to be hurt
And upset and angry?

"Blondie, dizzy" --
I love the cover,

Pretending all those girls
Were worthless idiots.

They are worthless idiots,

Shooting their mouths off
In front of you like that.

It's not their fault.

It is their fault.

They love doing crap like this,
Causing trouble.

We were only apart
For like two seconds,

And you managed to sleep

With every one
Of your sister's friends.

How did you even do that?

I mean, did you work them
In shifts?

Were there charts, signals,
B-12 shots?

I was depressed.
I was lonely.

I was upset.
I've known these girls forever.

It was just companionship, okay?
It meant nothing.

Don't be at the apartment
Between 10:00 and 1:00 tomorrow

So I can get my stuff.

What?

You're disgusting, and you're
Cheating on your juice diet.

I didn't cheat. I expanded
The definition of "Juice."

I feel dirty.

Hey.

We're out of food.
What?!

I have to talk to you
A sec.

I went to a bat mitzvah
Last night.

Mazel tov.
You want some more coffee?

I talked to the guys.

I know you ripped
My flyer down.

My "Drummer wanted" flyer
At sophie's.

It was ripped down,
And lou said he saw you do it.

I just want you to know
That I think that sucks.

Well, "A," lou's a fathead,
And, two, I had my reasons.

Come on, lane, stop.
I have to talk to you.

About what? What do you have
To talk to me about, zach?

I have to talk to you about
How it's all feeling wrong.

I tried to write a song
About it,

And I was gonna bring my amp
And play it for you.

But it was coming out
Way too emo,

So I decided to just say it.

I get up in the morning
And I don't feel good.

I go to work
And I don't feel good.

I come home
And I don't feel good.

I brush my teeth
And I don't feel good.

Then I go to bed
And I don't feel good.

Then I wake up
And I don't feel good.

And then I go to work
And I don't feel good.

You don't feel good!
We get it! Go on!

Hey, is something burning
Down here?

Luke, shh!
Okay, sorry.

Go on.
Right.

Where was I?

Oh, yeah.

Lane, will you marry me?

What?

Will you marry me?

But...Do you even know
What you're saying?

I mean, have you even thought
About this?

Oh, my god,
You ha thought about this.

I got it at the pawn shop.

It belonged to like an elk
Or a moose or something.

But it looked cool, and
I could afford it, so I got it.

You're smiling.

I know.

Does this mean yes?

Yes. It means yes.

Really?

Cool.

For god's sakes,
Kiss him, sugar!

Yeah, kiss him, sugar!

[ cheers and applause ]

So...I should get back
To work.

It's okay. I wasn't thinking
The ceremony should be today.

I'm off at 8:00.
I'll swing by.

I'm getting married.

I heard.

[ giggles ]

[ doorbell rings ]

Hey.

Hi, mary poppins.

[ chuckles ]
Sorry, the place is a mess.

It's okay.
I left my white gloves at home.

So, how'd it go
With you today?

Great.
I got everything done.

It was actually nice spending
Some time with my mom.

So, what --
You lose my kid?

Should I call
The milk carton people?

Oh, she's asleep
In rory's room.

She's all
Tuckered out, huh?

Yeah, either that
Or she knocked herself out.

She was throwing books
Around rory's room.
What do you mean?

Well, when she was done
Drawing on the floor

And pouring chocolate milk
On paul anka,

Then she took to throwing books
Around for a while.

This was before the spitting
And the furniture kicking

And the finale where she pulled
All the sheets off the bed

And tried to flush them
Down the toilet.

You're kidding.
Oh, I'm really not.

Well,
She's a spirited kid.

Spirited, possessed.
Potato, po-tah-to.

3-year-olds can be
A lot to handle.

If you're not used it,
I'm sure it can be overwhelming.

Oh, no, no, this wasn't
3-year-old hard-to-handle.

This was feral hyena
Hard-to-handle.

So, you guys
Didn't click.

Chris, this is not about
Clicking. This is about spoiled.

Spoiled?

G.G. Has clearly never heard the
Word "No" in her entire life.

She's heard
The word "No."

Well, at no time did me
Saying "No"

Elicit anything
Other than a scream.

I said, "No coloring
On the floor" -- she screamed.

I said, "No pulling paul anka's
Tail" -- she screamed.

I tried discussing noh theater
With her. She screamed.

So what?

I'm not saying
It's her fault.

I'm saying I think you could
Apply a little more discipline.

She's a kid.
Kids are hard.

Yeah, I know kids.
I raised one, okay?

Kids are different today.
It's a different world.

They need more nurturing,
More space.

I'm sorry.

Uh, yes, that was dr. Spock
Turning over in his grave.

We're going.

[ sighs ] Come on, chris.
It isn't just me.

Those preschool interviews?

Those people don't know
What they're talking about.

And the nanny?
Is a flake.

[ sighs ]

Giving g.G. Whatever she wants
Isn't gonna make up

For sherry being a crappy mom
And bailing.

You know what? I've had enough
Of your advice and your help.

[ door opens ]

Hit me, barkeep.
That's your third one.

What are you, my mother?
No.

No, you're not.

I'm not driving,
And I live right over...

There,
Or somewhere near there.

Or there.

But it's close, and I'm walking,
And I want another drink.

Okay.

[ sighs ]

Hey!

These are mine.

I was just gonna get them
Out of your way.

Don't take what's mine.
These came with my drinks.

He put them down
In front of me.

I did not ask you
To move them, did I?

Whatever.

Snappy comeback.
Dorothy parker know about you?

Sick of people
Touching my stuff.

Here you go.

Eat something.

You eat something.

[ sighs ]

Well, hello, rory.
Fancy meeting you here.

Hi, doyle.

I didn't see you sitting here,
Or I would've come over sooner.

I've been here a while.

I've been mixing beer and wine
And malibu rum.

That sounds bad.

Yep, it is bad.
It's been a long, bad night.

How about you?
How's your night been?

Really excellent.

Okay, well, then, let's drink
To really excellent evenings.

To really
Excellent evenings.

Paris threw me out.

What? No. Why?

I told her you were thinking
Of making her piece a series

And that I told you not to.

Why would you do that?

I don't know. It just came out.
We were fighting.

She was miserable
And not sleeping

And just sitting
At that craft table,

Hot-gluing bead after bead
After bead.

And then when I tried to take
The glue gun out of her hand,

All hell broke loose.

Oh, boy.

She kicked me out, told me
To leave. I came here.

That sucks.

I drank a lot.
Love sucks.

Went and bought a car
For that woman.

Me too.

Now I have to move out.
Me too.

You too, what?

I have to move out
Of logan's apartment.

Why?

Because logan had many,
Many blondes for thanksgiving.

Sounds terrible.

Did you love him?
Yep.

It's terrible
When you love 'em.

I don't know
Where I'm gonna go.

I'm staying with two guys

Who have black-light posters
On every single wall.

It's depressing.
You guys will get
Back together.

You and paris are perfect
For each other.

I mean, there's socks
Hanging everywhere.

I don't even know
If they're clean socks.

They're just hanging.

I wonder what paris
Is doing now.

I wonder how long till logan
Sleeps with somebody else.

Bet he already has.

Ohh, empty. Sad.

How we doing?

Fine.
We're fine.

I want to die.

I want more.
You want more?

Uh-huh.

Oh, rats.
I'm out of money.

I had to take a cab back
From new york,

So of course I have
No drinking money.

I've got money.

It's in something
In my pants,

Somewhere down here
In this general area.

I'll hold still
While you look.

No, that's okay.
I'm gonna go.

Yeah? Okay.
I'll go, too.

Oh, bad move.

Bad, bad move.

Come on. I got you.

Doyle, use your feet.

It's cold.
I'm cold.

You want my coat?

Okay.

This is lovely.
Thank you.

Okay, well,
Thanks for the company.

Yeah, you too.
Bye, rory.

Bye, doyle.

Uh, doyle?
Doyle, what are you doing?

Uh...

You were kissing my neck.

Oh, god, I was.
I was kissing your neck.

And I was nuzzling, too.

There was
Definitely nuzzling.

I'm so sorry.
I don't know what came over me.

And you used your tongue.

I just miss her so much.

Doyle, go home.

I don't have a home.
Yes, you do.

You have a home with black-light
Posters and dirty socks.

I don't have a home.

Oh, right.

Night, doyle.

Oh, my god,
Could this day get any worse?

[ telephone rings ]

Yeah?

Christopher:
Lor?

Ah, well, if it isn't
Da vinci's daddy.

How's the floor?

Very festive.

I'm sorry about that. I'll have
A floor guy come fix it.

Well, don't worry about it.
The house was too perfect.

Now it's lived-in.

Yeah, well...

You're awfully quiet. G.G. Got
A gun on you or something?

I'm sorry, lor.

Oh, chris.

I was so far out of line.

Don't worry about it.

Everything you said,
You were so right.

I hate when that happens.

G.G. Is completely
Out of control.

I can't say no to her.

I'm just -- I'm just so...

I don't know.

I'm so mad at sherry
For taking off like that.

I mean, who leaves a kid?

Well...

Yes, I know.
I left a kid.

I tell you, lor,

I don't think I really got
How you felt about me until now

Because I want to
Kill sherry.

I never wanted to kill you.

I wanted to key your car --
Which I did once, by the way.

It's not right
That g.G. Doesn't get a mom.

It's not right
That all she has is me.

What a super bargain that is.

Oh, chris, come on.

I don't want her to feel
Like she's missing anything.

I want her to be happy.

I know.

I can't get her into a school.
No one will take her.

They say she's uncontrollable
And aggressive

And all sorts of other
Horrible-sounding terms.

Well, school is overrated.
Ask abraham lincoln.

I suck as a dad.

No, you don't.

Look, I get
The single-parent guilt,

But in the end,
G.G. Needs you to say no.

I know.
I've ruined her.

You haven't ruined her.
It's not too late.

You sure?
I'm positive.

You can turn this around.
I know you can.

You're a great guy
With a great heart.

You just need to be
A little tougher.

Yeah.

I'll help you
In any way I can.

I promise.
We'll fix this.

You're amazing, lor.

Only in the true sense
Of the word.

Thanks for being around.
Any time.

[ glass shatters ]

[ g.G. Screams ]

[ sighs ] I got to...

I know. Go.

[ beep ]

[ sighs ]

Paris: get the bowls
And chopsticks out, guys.

Somebody pick a movie
Already.

I thought you were
Hing yee's.

Sorry.

What do you want?

Can I talk to you
For a sec?

Fine.

[ chain unlocks ]

Where is everybody?

I ordered food for 10, and
I didn't want the delivery guy

To look at me
Like I was a hog.

I don't need to display
My patheticness to the world.

You're not pathetic,
Paris.

Doyle and I broke up.

I know. I sort of ran
Into doyle earlier.

Oh, yeah?

He looked pretty upset.
I don't care.

Okay.

So, is that
Why you came over here --

'cause you heard
That we broke up?

Well...Yes.

You're a really
Good friend.
Oh, not really.

I throw you out,
I treat you like dirt,

No one else can stand me,

But you come over
To make sure I'm all right.

Well, paris?
Yeah?

In the name of full disclosure,
I should tell you --

Logan and I broke up, too,
Today.

I'm moving out.

How come?

He cheated on me...
With an entire wedding party.

Oh. Nice.

Yeah.

Men suck.

They do suck.

Can't count on them.
They never have your back.

No, they don't.

They make you love them,
And then they let you down,

And you're walking around
With a stomachache

For the next six months.

Is that how long
It lasts?

I don't know.
I hope it's only six months.

Yeah, me too.

You can stay here --
You know, if you want.

Really?
Sure.

Take my room if you want.

I've been sleeping
At my crafts table lately.

Thanks, paris.
Sure.

Hungry?
I got food coming.

Starving.

Hey, I just realized --
When the food arrives,

Now I really can ask someone
To get the bowls.

Silver lining, huh?

Sure is.

[ telephone rings ]

Hello?

Rory:
Hey, it's me.

Hey, you!
How was the wedding?

Sucko. I've got a new address
For you.

Uh-oh.