All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E18 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Lorelai: ick, raisins.
What are the pruney red things?

Sookie: dried cranberries.
Gone.

What's this?
Carob.

Why do we buy trail mix

If you're gonna
Pick everything out?

They've ruined trail mix.
They put too much stuff in it.

Your mouth doesn't know what
To expect with any given bite.

Will it be fruity?
Will it be granola-y?

Will it be
Chocolate substitutey?

What's this?
Soy bean.

Ahh! Squirrel food.

Ladies, please. We're saying
Goodbye to mr. Twickum.

So?

The man's on his deathbed.
Show a little respect.

Old man twickum's
Been dying for 20 years.

This is
My 17th time saying adios.

I think
You have the record.

When was the last time
He thought he was dying?

It's been a good two years.

I remember now.
The last time, the rain.

We got drenched.

It made the "He's dying" thing
A total bummer.

Ladies, please.

You may not be respecting
This moment,

But all the rest of us are.

Get your twickum souvenirs here.
Twickum souvenirs.

I've got your bats.
I've got your balls.

I've got your foam fingers.

Get them before he's gone.

How's mr. Twickum looking?

A little tired.

Dying is exhausting.

He's thinking of taking a break
And picking up tomorrow.

We've been waiting
An hour.

He's distracted anyway.

The whole time
I was there,

He was tivoing
Through a fresh "Summerland."

Do we have time
To come back tomorrow?

Not really.

Keep it quick in there --

"Good morning," "Goodbye,"
And then vamoose.

He should start dying
Earlier in the day.

Ugh, green stuff?
Come on!

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

[ cellphone rings ]

Hello?
Lorelai: he's dead.

Who?
Old man twickum.

It's gotta be a mistake.

It's not.
The man is gone.

Are you sure?

There's no breath left.
The light's gone out.

He's smelled
The burnt almonds.

He's feeding the worms.
He's chatting up his grandpa.

He is the old man
Formerly known as twickum.

I can't believe he's gone.
He's been dying my whole life.

And I just got
My "Goodbye" in.

He was about to close shop
For the day.

We got in, told him goodbye
And that we'd miss him.

We left, and then apparently,
He just closed his eyes,

Muttered something
About lori loughlin,
And that was that.

He's never died before.

There's a first time
For everything.

Kirk's happy, though.

His dying caused
A run on souvenirs.

Tacky.
Oh, yeah, tacky.

Are you coming home
This weekend?

Probably not.
Maybe next week.

I always like to check.

I should go.
Sorry about old man twickum.

Gotta move on.

Old man ketchum has a cough,
Could turn into something.

That's the spirit.

Bye, hon.
Bye.

[ classical music playing ]

Pathetic!

What?

I just wanted to inform you
That you're pathetic.

Back at you, sister.

I am not pathetic.

We're in the same situation,
Except you're in denial.

I haven't
Seen logan lately.

Why don't you call him up?
I bet he misses you.

Is he missing you?

Have fun pretending
The sky is green.

Have fun re-enacting
The maxell tape ad.

[ volume increases ]

Hey, soph.

You wash your hands?
Front and back.

Let's see them.

We're never gonna forget
The peanut butter on the sitar?

Good god, man.
You heard of hand cream?

Okay if we walk around?

Carefully.

Hi, lane.

Hi, sophie.

Show her the thing.

I suddenly got
Very self-conscious.

That's why you brought it.
Show her.

So, sophie bloom.
Your last name's "Bloom."

Thanks for the info.

I was looking through
Some old vinyl I have.

I don't have much
Because I was born

On the cusp
Of the cd revolution,

But I originally
Had a record player,

A snoopy record player, and
Did I love this record player

And shutting my door
And listening to music.

Oh, my god, garrison keillor,
What is your point?

I saw the name "Sophie bloom"
On this album --

The one non-christian one
My mother allowed me to have.

It just popped out at me,
And I was wondering...

Oh, this thing.

So it's you.
You wrote these songs.

A long time ago.

I think this is amazing,

Because I wanna do more
Than just drum.

I would like to write
And compose.

I was wondering
If we could sit down

And just talk about music,

Because I think
You have so much

You can pass on to me,
Woman to woman.

Really, just coffee sometime.
My treat.

I suppose sometime when
I'm not working or out of town,

If my boyfriend's busy
And my laundry's done

And I'm not sick
And there's nothing on tv,

We could maybe meet up
For a couple of minutes.

It's a date.

[ door opens, bells jingle ]

There she is --
The woman of the hour.

Apparently that's me.

I am blown away by this.

Yeah, well,
My hugs are that powerful.

I'm talking
About the article.

You're gonna be on the cover
Of a magazine.

It's the inn.
It's not me.

How'd they tell you? Did they
Phone you or e-mail you?

They said they were so impressed
By the inn, my story.

It's a great story.

It's a little thin when you
Compare it to "War and peace."

What, you started
With nothing.

It's a great story.

The magazine's good, too.
I did some research.

I got a bunch of issues
And read them,

Tried to figure out
Who should interview you.

Okay, alisha kensington --
Staff writer,

Too green
And way too stiff.

Too many adverbs.

Frederick fairmount --
He talks more about himself

Than the person
He's interviewing.

Something boozy about him.

I don't think they let you pick
Who's gonna interview you.

Just in case they offer.

But this is big.

Yeah, I guess it is.

[ gasps ]
What happened there?

What do you think?
Taylor.

How did taylor
Break the window?

How do you think?
By being taylor.

Taylor's taylorness
Can now break glass?

He's doing something,
And crash, bang, there you go.

Is it 6:00 yet?

A little past.

Oh, shoot!
Town meeting started.

So?

I thought we'd go.
You like those things.

Yeah, but you don't.

This is your big night --
The article and everything.

Why don't we
Hit the town meeting,

And then get something to eat,
A little celebration.

Oh, sounds good.

Yeah, great.
We gotta hurry.

Come on, people.
It's not that complicated.

I don't wanna
Be a burden.

Patty,
What about the couch

You have in the back
Of the studio?

In her
Freezing-cold studio

With no insulation
And no heat.

Sounds great.

Hi, what's happening?

Problems
With kirk's schedule.

Ugh.

Can't sheriff taylor just
Let him share a cell with otis?

Maybe the morrises
Will take him again.

Their kid stuck things
In my nose.

Lock the door
When you sleep.

It wasn't
While I was asleep.

How'd you
Drag luke here?

He wanted to come.

I'll just sleep outside
In the gazebo.

I would ask, though,
That if I die from exposure,

Don't just dump me
In the landfill.

No one's dumping you
In a landfill, kirk.

It's against regulations.

Let's pigeonhole
This matter for now,

And get on to our next
Order of business.

It's the matter of the estate
Of the late joshua twickum.

You bring food?

After the trail-mix fiasco?
I wouldn't dare.

Shh.
Sorry.

I'm happy to say that
This beloved elder

Was generous
Even on his deathbed.

Mr. Twickum has left
His beautiful home to the town.

[ audience murmurs ]

Is his deathbed still there?
I'm not picky.

What does that mean --
"To the town"?

What are you doing here?

Just keep going.

He left the house to the
Stars hollow historical society

Along with his ample collection
Of valuable memorabilia.

His will stipulates
That the house

Is to be converted
Into a museum.

A museum?

Are you going to interrupt
The whole meeting?

I'm just asking.

A stars hollow museum.

We will display his personal
Artifacts for two months.

After two months,
The house is to be disposed of

At the discretion of the head
Of the historical society,

Meaning me.

Oh, goody.

You're gonna talk
Under your breath.

I'm sorry.

I didn't hear those words
Come out of your mouth

After you tried to kill me.

What?

We're going
To need strong volunteers

To make this dream
A reality.

Anyone with
The appropriate skills,

Let's see a show of hands.

You have to fill me in
On the gag here.

Luke, don't come to these things
Just to mock our business.

I'm not mocking anything.
I'm volunteering.

After you threw a frying pan
At my head.

You threw a frying pan
At taylor's head?

Just for playing my muzak
Too loud.

I mean,
Who doesn't love muzak?

Oh!
Music lovers?

The thing slipped
Out of my hand.

Right after you said,
"You better duck,

Because I'm going to throw
This frying pan at your head."

You threw a frying pan
Without me there? I hate you.

I'm volunteering.
Take it or leave it.

Patty, take down the names

Of the legitimate volunteers,
Please.

Whoever is actually
Going to show up,

Our day will start
At 7:00 sharp.

To the rest,
Shame on you.

Now on
To item number three --

Budgetary concerns
About the new snowplow.

Does taylor have
Compromising pictures of you?

It's no joke.

Why on earth are you
Volunteering for taylor?

Well, um...

Luke?

How well did you know
Old man twickum?

Somewhat.

I knew him all my life.

He was like another dad,
In a way.

Oh, nice.

I didn't show up
To say goodbye,

And I was feeling
A little guilty.

He was a good guy.
I just wanna do right.

Well, you are
A terrific fellow, luke danes.

No, kirk.

If you build
An igloo to sleep in

And the town plow runs over it
And kills you,

We are not going to just leave
Your corpse in the snow.

Okay, but I don't wanna
Be a burden.

Let's store
All the boxes inside,

Sort through them in there,

Then store what we don't need
In the garage.

Morning, taylor.

What are you doing here?

I volunteered.

I don't get the joke.

There's no joke.
I'm at your disposal.

We're gonna need
A flat staging area.

Perhaps over there,
Because there's no space here.

What about right here?

My office is going here.

Why do you need
An office?

You came to complain?

I'm organizing. I'm working.
I need an office.

Fine. Sorry.
Carry on.

Come on, everybody!

Let's hook up
With people inside,

And I'll start
Handing out assignments.

Where are you going?
Inside.

Why?

I'm a volunteer.

Hey, luke.
Hey, kyle.

Just thought
I'd lend a hand.

Good one.

Is this everybody?

I believe so.

What the hell
Are you doing here?

I can't keep answering
This question.

Come in, good folk.

We are embarking
On a wonderful adventure.

Right here in this room,
We'll display

Mr. Twickum's impressive
Collection of memorabilia.

Upstairs we'll house
The multimedia dioramas

Depicting the history
Of the town.

Sounds good.

I took the liberty
Of doing up

Some fun shirts
That we all can wear.

Everyone, please,
Put one on.

Isn't that nice?

They all take
A cold-water wash

And tumble dry -- low.

Now, before we begin,
I'd like us all to join hands.

What?

He's a twisted perv,
If you ask me.

Come on, everybody.
Take hands.

Let's close our eyes
And visualize our goal.

Picture a freckle-faced boy,
Eyes wide with curiosity,

Drinking in the history of
The town as he wanders the room.

He's by the door.
He's going by the stairs.

He's delighting --

Luke's peeking.

That means
You're peeking, too.

Quiet, please.

Where's the freckle-faced kid
Walking?

Okay, I think that's enough
Visualizing, everybody.

How about we start organizing
All these boxes, okay?

I'd like a moment
With you, luke.

Time to let go
There, taylor.

I want
The straight skinny.

Let go of my hand.

Tell me
What you're doing.

I'm trying to get
My hand away.

Why are you here?
Why did you volunteer?

I wanted to.

Luke, you hated
Old man twickum.

I know that for a fact.

You said despicable things
About him your whole life.

If you must know,
Lorelai asked me.

Lorelai?

That's right.

We've been through
A bit of a rough patch.

Yes.

I wanna make things right,
Get off to a new start.

She wants me to get involved
In community things,

So I'm doing it for her.

Well, I think
That's very nice.

So, I'm here for you,
Taylor, 100%.

Good.

Because you're
Not untalented.

How about I make you
My right-hand man?

Be me when I'm not here.
What do you say?

I'll need my right hand
Back for that.

Of course.

Okay, good.

This is a new side of you,
Luke, and I like it.

All right,
Let's get started, everybody.

Sandra: so, which is
Your favorite room?

Oh, that changes daily.
Today it's the library.

What do you
Love about it?

It hugs you.
Does that sound silly?

Not at all.

The kitchen turned out
So wonderfully,

So the kitchen and library
Are duking it out.

I should get the name
Of your designer.

"Ners." we went through
Quite a few.

The design's so cohesive.

What you see is a lot of me,
"She said that so humbly."

Hey, credit
Where credit is due.

I put my soul
Into this place,

My heart, my liver,
A couple of kidneys.

And I had a great partner
In sookie.

And we had a great community
Rooting for us.

That's what
You feel here --

Support, family,
Homeyness, warmth.

It must reflect
Your upbringing.

Pfft!

I'm just happy
I wasn't sipping coffee.

It would have
Come out my nose.

Oh, childhood wasn't
So warm and fuzzy?

You know superman's
Fortress of solitude?

A jamaican beach compared
To my mother's house.

So I'll cross your mother off
Your list of inspirations.

I actually did pick up
Some lessons on running a staff.

How so?

I consider what my mother
Would do, then dial it back,

And have
What mussolini would do,

Dial it back, and have
What stalin would do.

I dial that back,
And it starts approaching

What a sane person
Would do.

Ouch!

Let's find a topic
Happier than

My relationship
With my mother.

That would be
Anything short of famine.

I will tell you one story

About my mother
On a family vacation.

Jimmy carter was there,
And he had a bigger room.

All righty. Upstairs floors
And walls cleaned -- check.

And blackout curtains delivered
And ready to be installed --

Check.

Uh, luke?
Yeah.

It would really help
To hear you say "Check."

I'm getting it, taylor.

But how do I know that

Unless you say "Check"
After I say "Check"?

[ sighs ] Fine.

And audio equipment delivered,
Awaiting mounting brackets --

Check?

Check.

Excellent.

[ chuckling ]

Boys, boys,
What's so funny?

I took the mannequin
By the arms, and I said --

"Grab the other end" --

No, I said,
"Grab her end."

So I grabbed her right here.
Right under her rear end.

Her rear end!

I was walking with it
Like that!

Do I have to separate
You two?

Now set that down and bring in
The others -- modestly.

[ both laugh ]

Taylor: so, gypsy,
Find some interesting stuff?

How does a
George washington letter sound?

Fantastic.

Wow, that's great.

Mint condition, too.

Let's frame it
And hang it in a place of honor.

Uh, I'm not sure this is
What you think it is.

It's a letter to the editor
Of the newspaper

Signed "George washington."

It's dated 1944.
That's a smudge.
That could be 1744.

It mentions jack benny.

We could cross out
The jack benny part.

Let's put it on
The to-be-displayed pile,

And we'll authenticate it
Later.

Actually, why don't we put it
In the maybe pile, taylor.

There's gotta be
Better than this.

You're right.
Let's keep our standards high.

Now, gypsy, as soon as
We have everything catalogued,

My man luke will liaise with you
To coordinate your needs.

We'll liaise.

Fine. But I'm not doing
Nothing dirty.

Carry on.

We should start moving
This stuff in the other room

So we can clean here.

Luke.
Yeah.

Taylor would like to see you
In his office.

What?
He was just here.

That's what he said.

I'll be right back.

Taylor: come in.

You wanted to see me?

Luke, yes. Sit down.
We need to talk.

Now, if you're going
To disagree with me --

Which you have
Every right to --

Please don't do it in front
Of the rest of the crew.

That george washington letter?
I was humiliated.

No, you weren't.

Luke, we're a team.
Don't forget that.

Fine, okay, I won't disagree
With you in front of the crew.

Good -- although,
It's probably safest for you

Not to disagree with me at all,
Don't you think?

Uh, sure.
I agree.

[ cellphone beeps ]
Good.

This is taylor doose.

Kirk:
The carpenter is here, taylor.

Copy that.
Liaise with him, will you?

You took the words
Right out of my mouth.

Where's the guy, kirk?

Right over there.

[ '60s dance music plays ]

[ sighs ]

Every one of these people
Is dead.

That makes me sad.

That movie's from the '60s.
They're not all dead.

Osteoporosis. If they shake it,
They break it. That make me sad.

Switch back to mahler.

Hey, it was your idea
For me to watch a movie.

It was my idea
To get your mind off doyle.

So you're going away, huh?
No huntzberger this weekend?

Obviously.

You guys were hot and heavy.
What happened?

Your feast
Turned into famine, huh?

If you must know, yes.
See, paris? I'm not in denial.

Logan and I were hot and heavy.
Had a good two weeks.

Then it became about
Voice mails. Then cricket.

So, yes, he pulled back,
And I'm going crazy,

But I'm not gonna stay here
And wallow

And watch you be
All depressed.

You're right --
About staying here.

You should get out.
I should get out.

This place is poison.
It is!

I don't wanna be like this.

I wanna live my life
So I'll be able to read

An in-depth biography about
Myself later and not puke.

I'm going to get up, pack,
And have some fun this weekend.

Good.

How does this end?
They dance again.

Okay.

Hey, zach. Grande's closes
At 8:00 tonight --

A little early because it's
One of his kids' birthdays --

But I checked with luke,
And he's letting me off at 7:00,

So we've got
Plenty of time.

For what?

To shop at grande's.
We set it up last week.

We did?
Yes.

Well,
Could we go next week?

Zach, we haven't hit grande's
In four months.

We're completely out
Of cleaning supplies.

Well, I can't go tonight,
So just go without me.

But you love shopping
For cleaning supplies.

I know, but tonight,
I've got something to do.

What?
Just gonna go chill
With some friends.

Who?
Whoa, officer!
Okay, I confess --

Body's in the trunk.

I'm just gonna see
Some old friends.

God, what do you want?
Names and addresses?

No, fine,
I'll go by myself.

Good.
Good.

And don't forget
A dishwashing liquid

That's gentle on my hands.

I will.

Hello!

Hi, honey!

This is okay, right?

Springing a surprise visit
On you?

This is your definition
Of surprise?

[ laughs ]
This is not a surprise.

Come on in.
I'll show you a surprise.

Paris!

I packed my bags and was on the
Road before I remembered that

My parents don't own property
In the united states anymore.

Since when?

Since the I.R.S.
Redd-foxxed my father.

The place in asylum hill --
Even the crack house in harlem

That we converted into a co-op

Was sold off to one
Of the "Queer eye" guys.

Where did they go?

They're going to wire me
When they're safe.

Anyway, I'm here.
Should I leave?

No, stay.
If it's okay with mom.

It's okay.

So I guess you can have
The couch.

Uh, sorry,
That's spoken for.

Hey, rory.
This is a nice surprise.

The moudeses were supposed
To have him tonight.

They have goldfish --
Kirk's afraid of goldfish.

They're always staring at you.
All gold and unblinking.

I like sleeping on the floor.
It's good for my back.

Okay. Enjoy.

Can I, um...

Mm-hmm.

So, what inspired
Your visit?

Just nothing else to do.

Don't I feel special.

You know what I mean.

You mean, "I love you, mommy.
I miss you, mommy."

That's what I meant.

So no parties or anything?
No...Dates?

No, just a nice,
Quiet weekend. It's perfect.

Wait, you didn't have anything
Planned with luke tonight?

Don't cancel it
On my account.

It's okay -- he's busy.

Taylor's making him drive out to
Fetch an historical cannonball

That old man twickum had lent
To his sister in mystic.

What would you
Borrow a cannonball for?

It's been bugging me,
Too.

How'd your interview go?

Good, I think. She didn't
Stab me with her pencil.

A very good sign.

My interviewer
Was really cool -- sandra.

It was more like friends
Chatting than being interviewed.

She loved the inn,
She asked some good questions,

And she loved, loved
My emily stuff.

Your emily stuff?

She asked me
About my background.

I gave it to her --
Unplugged.

You didn't.
She asked.

You couched it, right?

What do you mean?

Described it in so many words.
Colorful, but unemotional?

I called her
"The female pol pot."

You didn't.

She laughed for, like,
A minute.

That's so harsh.
Harsh, but true.

Can I get some water?

Why are you covering
Your eyes?
In case you're naked.

I'd walk into my daughter's room
And get naked?

I don't know
Your domestic routine.

Glasses are
Above the sink.

So you attribute
Any war crimes to grandma?

Any environmental disasters?

What? We were just talking.
She won't print any of it.

Was it off the record?

Yeah, technically.
It wasn't about the inn.

But did you say
"It's off the record"?

No.
Then it's fair game.
She can print it.

Including the limerick?
You did your limerick?

I am very proud of it.

I found two dirty words
That rhyme with "Emily."

Oh, boy.

Can't I call and tell her
It was off the record?

You can't take things off
Once they're on.

The chances that my mother reads
American travel are slim.

Except for the fact that
I told her about it tonight.

I needed some small talk.

And "How are the girls
At the club?"

And "Ooh, that's gorgeous --
Is it new?"

Doesn't work anymore?

I told her about it,
And she jotted down the title.

Okay, well,
You know what?

Fine. Let her.

It's all true.

I'm tired of protecting people,
Of being polite,

Of worrying
About other people's feelings.

Let her get all condoleezza rice
To my barbara boxer.

Kirk: ow!

Open your eyes.
I'm fine.

Ow, my head!

Kirk.

I'm fine.
Ow, my toe!

Kirk!

Ow, my knee!

[ cannonball rolls
In truck bed ]

[ cannonball rolls ]

[ cannonball rolls ]

You were right. We should have
Tied the cannonball down.

Taylor, you don't like
To drive after dark,

So we didn't have time
To tie it down.

You didn't have the proper tools
To secure it with anyway.

Well, drat my luck -- I took all
My cannonball-securing tools

Out of the truck
Just yesterday.

Must weigh
About 100 pounds.

Something like that.

Oh, good, we're in luck.
Hey, dean!

No, taylor,
I'll move it myself.

Luke,
Don't be headstrong.

Once I sprained my pecs
Lifting a birdbath,

And they were no good to me
Ever again.

What do you need,
Taylor?

Got a big, heavy ball here.
How are your pecs?

They're fine.

Help us to the house?

[ both grunting ]

Taylor: look, buddy --

Where do you want it,
Taylor?

On the lawn is fine. We'll put
It in place tomorrow morning.

Lucky you were here.

Yeah...Lucky.

Breakfast!

Morning.

Morning.
Rory, you up?

She's probably
On the phone.

I'm not on the phone.
I was just getting dressed.

Coffee?
Both: definitely, yes.

So, did you get
Any rest?

Kirk talks
In his sleep.

Anything juicy?
He deals blackjack.

Hmm. Kirk?
Kirk: yeah?

Turn off the tv
And come have your breakfast.

In a minute.
Now!

How old is he?

You have to cut him open
And count the rings.

Morning.

Morning.
Morning.

You really should see
A sleep therapist.

Roulette?
Blackjack.

Kirk,
Is the tv still on?

Oh, I forgot.

No, no,
I'll get it.

You'd forget your head
If it wasn't screwed on.

Don't deny
You were on the phone.
Phone's in the living room.

Oh, that's your phone?
It rang about an hour ago.

It was ringing?
No.

Knock it off.

What are you guys
Talking about?

[ sighs ]

Fine.

No forts.

I don't know what your plans
Are, but the grand opening

Of the stars hollow museum
Is this morning -- any takers?

It's amusing when provincials
Grasp for legitimacy. I'm in.

I wouldn't miss it.

I helped build it.
Bully.

Finish up, grab your jackets,
And we'll go.

I don't need a jacket.

It's chilly, kirk.

I don't wanna wear
A jacket.

Then maybe you won't go to
The grand opening of the museum.

[ sighs ]
I'll put on my jacket.

Finish your breakfast
First.

Kirk.
Do not turn that tv on.

Good morning, ladies.

Hi, patty.
Hi, patty.

Oh, I remember you.
You poor thing.

Thanks.

That's $3 each,
But that includes a punch.

Would you like yours now?

Oh, how about later,
After I eat a loaf of bread,

A pound of crackers, and chase
It with a quart of olive oil.

Well, it's not my punch
If it's not strong.

Oh! Looks like
We're the first group in.

I'll catch up. I told lane
I'd meet up with her.

How you doing?
I'm fine.

Doyle's probably called me
At the dorm,

And not calling him back means
He may never call me again.

There you have it.

Paris, you've come this far.
Don't buckle.

I don't wanna buckle.
I really don't wanna buckle.

Here, keep it for me.

Your cellphone?
You sure?

Remove the temptation.

You got it.
There's lane.

Hello.

What's wrong?
I don't wanna talk about it.

We're a fun group.

Paris.
We paid our $3.

Miss patty's leftover punch
Is used to remove tar

From construction sites.

Then let it remove the tar
From our souls.

Here it is.

Oh, it's nice.

You really turned this
Around fast, huh?

Well,
It was a team effort.

Hey, look!
Old letters!

Oh, I love those.

"Letter from olivia taft,
Purported grand-niece

"By marriage
Of president william taft,

"Written to chester hobart,
Assumed distant relative

To garret hobart, vice president
To william mckinley" -- wow.

I love history.

Ooh! Possibly rare
48-star american flag.

Oh, look at that.

Someone was supposed to take
The sears tag off of it.

What's this?
"Civil war era
Cannonball."

Oh,
Where's the cannonball?

Flashlights.

I don't see it.

Oh, wait.
Right there, right there!

Ooh! Yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool.

Taylor:
Ladies and gentlemen,

Our audio-visual presentation
Will commence in five minutes.

Hey,
Check out that painting.

Oh, yeah.
Actually, that's pretty cool.

It's a possible
Circa 19th century portrait

Of what we think may have been
The founder of a school

That possibly educated
Ben franklin's cousins.

Nice.Oh.

He just flat-out looked out
Of his face right into my face

And said to my face
That he was lying.

Zach said
That he was lying?

No, he lied from his face
Into my face

About where he was going --
That's what hurts the most.

Except for seeing him
With that woman.

That hurts most --
More than the lie.

You'd think they'd stumble
Onto the truth.

Just accidentally.

Say something
Like "Two plus two equals four."

Just because they say so many
Things just accidentally.

That's like...Man!
I know!

They just have to repopulate
The species, you know?

Just spread it around.

They like to spread it around,
All right.

I bet you doyle's spreading it
Right now.

You don't know that.

This...Is...Tasty!

I've had it!
Had what?

I'm getting
To the bottom of this.

Spank his bottom.

He can't do this!

We're friends, too,

As well as lovers --
If we ever get married.

She walks funny.

This punch
Makes you thirsty.

Where's
The nearest bathroom?

No, paris, no.
Stay.

I need to go
To the bathroom.

You're going
To call doyle.

What?
You've got my cellphone.

We're low-tech here,
But we do have pay phones.

I'm not going
To call doyle.
Yes, you are.

I don't even have money.

Uh-huh.

Fine.
Take my shoes, okay?

How far can I get
Without my shoes?

Now -- bathroom?

Over there.

I'll be right back.
Good.

Excuse me, could I trouble you
For some change?

Excuse me, I just need change
To make a call. Could you...?

I just need to make a call.

Where are we going?

You'll see.
What is this?

You wouldn't want me
To spoil it.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome

To the stars hollow dioramic
History room presentation.

Please stand towards the center
Of the room, and remember,

No talking, no smoking,
And, please,

No lewd behavior of any kind
During our presentation.

Hey!

Getting lewd behavior out
Before the presentation.

It's the dawn of time.

And whether you believe that a
Supreme being created the earth

Or in the more and more
Discredited

Theory of evolution,

One thing's for certain --

Early man walked the land
We are now on.

And while
No printed records survive,

There's no proof
That the first tools

Weren't invented
Right here in stars hollow.

[ caveman grunting ]

Huh. That wrench
Is really getting him hot.

Aah! Hey!
There's people.

That's half the fun.

Zooming forward in time

To the founding
Of stars hollow,

The very first people
To live on this land --

Besides the indians --

Was the jebediah family.

Good puritans, they were led
By the humble reverend ezekiel.

With him was wife louisa,
Daughter harriet,

And young son joseph,
Born without speech.

I wonder what
That first conversation was

When they rode up
To their new home.

Whoa, boy! Good girl.
You smell that air, mother?

It smells like home,
Ezekiel.

And look
At this fertile soil,

Just a-wantin'
To yield crops.

It smells like home,
Ezekiel.

Well, what of the young'ns?

What have they to say
About their new home?

We can run in the woods, play
Games, and be schooled at home.

Hey, my divining rod
Is twitching.

That means
There's water aplenty.

Better get inside, children.
It's time for supper.

Okay, mother.
I'm hungry.

You hungry, too,
Joseph?

Those stars -- so bright.
This forest -- hollow.

What name should I give
This place?

Hollow...Stars.

Hollow...Stars.

No. Really?

T-they're gonna leave us
On a cliffhanger?

Sophie.

Jeez, lane, I don't have time
For coffee right now.

You owe me
An explanation!

You...Woman!

What are you
Talking about?

You know
What I'm talking about.

I look to you
As a role model.

Well, not anymore, except as
A role model for heartbreak.

I know
What you can offer him.

You're bohemian
And experienced,

Familiar with the world
Of sensual pleasure.

Champagne, times square.

I bet you even
Smoked a cigarette or two.

Oh, my god, your breath
Would stop an elephant.

You've not only been
To new york, but lived there.

You know where the best bagels
Are, and you've been with men.

But you don't know him
Like I know him.

It's cheap thrills
For you, sister.

But I know what cleaning
Products he likes. Do you?

I'm not sure how
To answer that.

It had to have been
A moment of weakness

Because he doesn't like you --
He likes me.

Who?!
Zach!

Zach?
Zach.

Come here.

[ bluegrass music plays ]

Zach?

Lane.

Talk.

Why are you playing
A banjo?

It's a bluegrass band,
Okay?

I like bluegrass.
I like jamming with these guys.

And, yes, I like the banjo.

But why didn't you
Tell me?

Because we're rock 'n' roll,
Lane, you and me.

I was embarrassed,

So the guys and I have been
Jamming on the sly here.

Sophie let us.

I like the banjo.

Well, I like the banjo, too --
When you're playing it.

Really?
Yeah.

It's kind of hot.

The guys are watching.

Well, go back
To your playing.

Oh, and I got
Three things of pine-sol.

I've been dying
To tell you.

But there's been
This weird thing between us.

Lemon?

Yeah, because I know
What you like.

Let's hit it, boys.

[ music resumes ]

Hey, I need some change here.

Come on, damn it!

Yeah, keep walking.
Keep walking.

Pbht!

Hey.

Hey, I need 50 cents!
Come on! Just 50 cents!

Watch it!

Hey.

Give me 50 cents!

Yeah, fall in a hole!

Pbht!

Pbht.

[ speed-dialing ]

[ ringing ]

Hey, it's logan. Leave
Whatever message you want.

And if this is finn, your voice
Mail's full -- again.

We're meeting at the starwood,
9:30,

Then just club-hopping
From there.

There's 11 of us,
So bring the hummer.

Don't be more than a half-hour
Late, and erase those messages.

Taylor:
Sanitation in wartime.

No one likes
To think about it,

But in stars hollow,
That's all we thought about.

A local manufacturer --
Buff rite --

Was the sole supplier of all
Things pertaining to sanitation

And hygiene for our boys
In world war ii.

[ chuckling ] Remember
Their snappy theme song?

Woman:
* walk light, smell right

* and he'll have it buff rite

Taylor: closed due
To a dramatic drop in demand

For its chief products --
Urinal cakes --

The buff rite factory
Nevertheless afforded

Hundreds of stars hollow
Residents healthy livelihoods.

[ cellphone rings ]

Sorry, that's me.

Oh, I gotta take this.

I'll meet you outside.
I've seen enough.

And I can't get enough.
[ giggles ]

* walk light,
Smell right *

Remember the '60s?

The town of stars hollow does.
What a headache!

A veritable dark age
Culminating in a sit-in

That gathered over 1,000 freaks
From the tri-county area.

Hello?

Hi, lorelai. It's sandra
From american travel.

Sandra, hi. Thanks for getting
Back to me so quickly.

No problem.
What's up?

Well, I was just thinking
About the interview.

It was great, by the way.
Everyone's flipped for it here.

Oh, wonderful.
Thank you.

Um, but I just wanted
To let you know,

I think I may have
Crossed a line

With the stuff
About my mother.

No, it was the best part.

Oh, so it's
In the article?

It's not the dominant thing,
But it's in. It's great color.

Right. Well...
[ nervously chuckles ]

I was wondering if maybe you
Could lose some of that color.

Would that
Screw things up?

But the stuff about your mother
Is great. My editor flipped.

Wow. So it's already gone
To an editor.

We turn things around
Quickly.

I guess so.

You know, sandra,

I would like you to cut
All the stuff about my mother.

Um, it would be
A big favor.

I would really rather not.
It was a lot of work.

Okay, couldn't you just do
A quick rewrite for a friend?

We're not friends.
Oh, right.

It's too late
To change it.

The only other option we have
Is pulling it altogether.

Pulling it?

And subbing in
Something else.

The cover and everything?

The whole thing.
Oh.

Look, don't worry about it.
It's great. It flies by.

The readers
Are gonna love it, okay?

Okay. Sure.
Thanks for calling me back.

Bye.

[ sighs ]

What's this?

Modern life
In stars hollow.

Great breakfast,
Mother!

Yeah, you've done it
Again, mom.

I just love serving breakfast
To my family.

And I love jesus!

Look at these clamoring crowds,
Partner.

Yeah, people seem
To be having a good time.

It was a rush job,
But spectacular.

It's more than I thought
It would be.
Oh, way more.

I'm seriously considering
Going permanent with this.

What?

I think we've got something
Here -- something big.

A two-month run
Isn't enough.

We've, at least, got to
Hold it over through the summer.

Taylor, I --
I'm thinking we should keep it
Open for at least a year,

Even if it doesn't
Make money.

At that point,
We've got the publicity,

We've made the guidebooks.

We'll have a cooperstown-type
Attraction on our hands.

Taylor, no.
What?!

Are you blind?
This place is a piece of crap.

A piece of...?

Look at it! The old man's stuff.
It's not even historical.

It's all a bunch of stuff
That may have belonged to people

That may have been
Distantly related to people

Who may have been
Historically meaningful.

And the diorama...

I'll admit
It's a little rough.

It's a joke.

Luke, I don't get it.
You helped build this.

You were so cooperative.

Why are you turning on it
Like this? Turning on me?

I want the house.
What?

I want this house,
Taylor.

All my life,
I've loved this house.

They don't build them
Like this anymore.

You saw the banisters,
Right?

Well, yeah, but --

I've always said
To myself,

"If you're gonna have a family
And a house,

It's got to be this house."

Ohhh.
It's why I volunteered,
Okay?

I got involved in this whole
Thing to stay close to the house

And keep on your good side,
And you had the control.

I should have known you were
Doing this for selfish reasons.

Taylor, look...

I know you don't like me --
I can't change that.

I've gotta be honest here. This
Museum is not gonna make it.

This property, its expenses,
The taxes, the upkeep.

The floor broke through
From just the cannonball.

It's gonna take money.

Do you wanna keep
A money-loser on the books?

Do you want that to be
Your legacy in stars hollow?

Because that's what this is,
Taylor. It's a money pit.

Well, I don't want a money pit
On the books.

Just keep it open for the two
Months, then sell it to me.

I'll give you the best price.

A family.
You mean you and lorelai?

Me and...

Whoever, yeah.

Huh.

Well, I'll think about it.

We have got to bring everyone
We know to this immediately

Before the netherlanders swoop
In
And whisk it away to broadway.

And 3 bucks a pop? That crappy
Abba show cost 100 bucks.

I gotta make a quick call.
Maybe we'll go through again.

[ gasps ]
Once is not enough.

[ dialing ]

[ sighs ]

Sandra, hi,
It's lorelai gilmore again.

Listen,
I was thinking,

And I think you should just
Pull the article.

Yeah, I'm sure.
But thanks. Bye.

[ cellphone beeps ]

Was it all I said
It would be?

Oh! And more.

I've gotta go through with rory.
Seen her anywhere?

I haven't seen her,
No.

Wow.

What?

I just never really looked
At this place before.

Those columns,
That brick.
Yeah.

It's beautiful.

Yeah.
It's a great house.

Mom.

Aw, rory, honey,
What's wrong?

I don't feel good.
I really don't feel good.

I think I can guess why.
Come on, let's get you home.

You need help?
Want me to drive?

That's okay. It's just
Five minutes. Come on.

[ sighs ]

Okay, dean, come on.
Don't give me that attitude.

What's up?

Is this still about
The "Pippi" night? The bop it?

Fine, you hate me.
Whatever.

You wanna punch me?
Go ahead.

I'm a terrible guy.
I deserve it.

I won't even fight back.
Make you feel better, buddy?

Just go back
To your girlfriend.

Fine, whatever.

While you got one.

What's that supposed
To mean?

What do you think
It means?

I'm not playing games.

Your situation's
No different from mine, buddy.

I've got work to do.

Then go.

They want more than this.

Don't you see that?

And all you are is this.

Rory was a kid, dean.
She grew up. She moved on.

Accept it.

You accept it.
This town -- it's all you are.

And it's not enough.

She's gonna get bored,
And you can't take her anywhere.

You're here forever.

It's different.
It's not different.

You and me --
Same thing.

[ crying ]

Why doesn't he like me?

Why doesn't he call me?

What did I do?

Shh, honey, it's okay.
It's okay.

Mommy, I...

Shh. It's okay.