All language subtitles for Gilmore Girls S05E16 1080p WEB-DL DD+ 2.0 x264-TrollHD_track3_[und]

Previously
On "Gilmore girls"...

If you want a chance with
Lorelai, do something,

And you had better
Do something now.

Lorelai and I belong together!
Everyone knows it!

I know it!
Emily knows it!

I don't know
What he's talking about.

I gotta get out of here.

You want to know what I'm
Thinking right now?

That I can't be
In this relationship.

You and me, we're done.

Hey, do you think grandpa
Knew about it?

About christopher coming?

Do you think he planned it
With grandma?

The whole thing reeks
Of emily.

I saw the back of the boat
Driving from weston's,

I saw the front of the boat
From the bank.

I can't believe luke did this.
What was he thinking?

It's his boat.
He can do what he wants with it.

Grandma wants a picture.
Of this?

You must be logan.

Nice to meet you.

Do you want me to go?

Thanks, skip!
Love that your back in shorts.

Missed those stems
Of yours, baby!

Pbbt.
[ gasps ]

Now, come on.

[ dialing ]

Rory: hello?

Yeah, we gotta talk mail.
Not again.

It's all for you.
Every piece.

I mean, how can that be?
You only half live here.

This mail envy of yours
Is not pretty.

Catalogs, business
Solicitations,

Credit card offers.

Oh, and for me,

Some more stupid greenpeace
Return-address labels.

You are the environmental
Philanthropist in the family.

I feel very badly
For the planet right now.

Hey, you called
My cell.
I know.

I told you to call
My landline.

My cellphone bill
Is astronomical.

But a conversation with me --
Priceless.

Oh, joy.

Well, I did get
A piece of mail.

The temple of apollo.

Grandma still hitting you
With the postcards?

As if nothing even remotely
Unpleasant happened between us.

How does she do that?
Compartmentalize like that?

It's weird -- she's the serial
Killer who goes to work

And talks about
A funny "Seinfeld" he saw

And goes home and cooks
Himself a man-flesh sandwich.

Let's see how her trip has
Been since the last card.

Dear lorelai, kicked a dog,

Then punched a gypsy
In the groin.

Oh, that's nice.
Mom.

Complained about
The foie gras to a waiter

Whose yearly pay is
Less than what I spend
Monthly on silver polish,

Then kicked another dog.
Come on.

Tripped a nun, then
Burned down an orphanage.

Sounds like a busy itinerary.

And the sun sets on apollo.

At least you don't get
The "Nothing subtle
About it" reminders

About friday-night dinner.

She's putting
Her hooks in you?

Three cards in a row reminding
Me in no uncertain terms

That they'll see me soon.

She's smart enough
Not to do that to me.

Well, I'm mad at her, too,
You know.

I know.
Anything else?

Whoa, one minute of talk,
And I get the bum's rush?

I'm in the middle
Of studying.

I gotta pop out of
An envelope for you to
Have an interest in me?

I'll be home friday.
We'll talk, we'll laugh.
What a time we'll have.

Skip's back in shorts.

I'm not wasting cellphone
Minutes on skip's shorts.

It's the "Reno 911!"
Short shorts.

A little disturbing.

I'm hanging up now.

Fine, so friday?

Friday -- bye.

Bye.

* if you're out
On the road *

* feelin' lonely
And so cold *

* all you have to do
Is call my name *

* and I'll be there
On the next train *

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* anywhere that you tell me to

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow

* oh, oh, oh

* where you lead,
I will follow *

* any, anywhere
That you tell me to *

* if you need

* if you need

* you need me to be with you

* I will follow where you lead

Sit up.
Huh?

Sit up
And feet off the chair.

What's with being
All chilean dictator dude?

Luke is on a tear, so this
Is for your own protection.

He's always on a tear.

This is different.
And you have to pay today.

For undercooked fries?
I don't think this.

Zach, please!
Ow!

I do this because
I care for you.

You know I care
For you, right?

Yeah.
Gosh.

Man: excuse
Me, miss?

Sorry to be a pest, but I
Asked for my omelet soft.

This is way overdone.

Shh, not so loud.

You should probably
Make me another.

How's everyone else's
Eggs, huh?

Great.

That's all I got, man.

His eyes -- red, like
The fires of mordor.

Go, go. I'll see you later,
And keep low.

How are you doing, kirk?

Great. I'm loving this blackened
Cajun bread luke made for me.

I didn't even ask for it.

It's burnt toast.
You don't have to eat it.

But I'm loving it.
And look.

I've been mixing black ash
With the runny eggs.

Goes great with
The fishy-tasting bacon.

Glad you like it.

Order's up!

Luke?

What?

I know you're really busy
Back there...

Is that the door to the oven?

It fell off when I kicked it.
Something wrong?

I needed a side of hashed
Browns for table three,

And I'm really, really sorry,
But this is hash, I think.

I mean, it's hash-like.

They'll eat it.

Or they might go
Have breakfast at weston's

Like the lady with the walker
You threw out an hour ago.

So let 'em go to weston's.

Huh?!
All of you!

If you need
Ceramic cow creamers

And kitty-cat
Salt-and-pepper shakers

And stupid little flowers
Drawn in powdered sugar

On your plates, then that's
Where you belong anyway!

Unidentified breakfast food
On the house?

Terrific.Terrif.

No, I don't understand.

Well, yes,
Of course I'll hold.

I thought you'd never ask.

How's the reservation book
Looking?

Are we booked up, half-full,
Kind of light?

For when?

Next two to three months.

We're fairly booked.
I'd say 80%, 90%.

Now, did they seem hungry?

Oh, and where are they from?
Any from jersey?

People from jersey love
My chinese chicken salad.

Any texans?
Ooh!

Any from france?

Yes, I'm still here.

Yes, great.
What's the panic, sookie?

I'm giving birth.

Right now?

Not right now,
But eventually.

When I do, I'll have to
Have all the menus made out

And the food orders put in
And a backup plan

In case there's
A bad tomato crop

Or if oprah decides to get
Mad at beef again.

Hello, blaine.

You were about to
Explain to me the reason

You once again raised
Our premium here.

Uh-huh, but those were
All very small claims

Due to the snow...
And...Right.

Well, who else
Would we come to

But our trusty insurance
Agent guy...Stud?

Pick the appropriate term
And insert here now.

Yes, well, of course holding's
One of my great pleasures.

Problem?

The charmers at our
Insurance agency get mad

When you try
To claim something.

The stable roof.

Yes -- and now
I've been disconnected.

Coincidence?
I think not.

Have people made
Dinner reservations?

Be my guest.

[ telephone rings ]

Dragonfly inn.
Lorelai speaking.

Lorelai, it's your mother.
I --

Hey, we've got
Vegetarians in april.

What, were you hiding them?

Yes, I'm evil that way.

[ telephone rings ]

Dragonfly inn.
Lorelai speaking.

Lorelai, you just hung up --

So who do you think will
Take over while you're gone?

I was thinking
About chantelle.

The one who got her face
Caught in the mixer?

She's better now.
She just got her new
Nostril last week.

Well, that's good.

[ telephone rings ]

Dragonfly inn.

Uh, yes, lorelai,
It's your father.

Oh, dad!
How was your trip?

Fine, lorelai.
Thank you very much.

And the flight back?

Very smooth.

Smooth is good.

Actually, your mother wanted
To talk to you for a moment.

Hello, lorelai, I --

Hey, do you have any

Of that really great braised
Lamb risotto thing

Left over from last night?

I think so.
Why?

Since I'm not going to
Friday-night dinner tonight

Or ever again -- I'm not
In the mood for pizza --

I thought I'd have
Fancy food with my movie.

You're going to a movie!

I netflixed
All three "Star is borns".

Janet, judy, and babs.

The holy trinity.

I thought I'd hunker down
With some fabulous food

And watch all the men
That got away.

What? No,
You can't do that.
Why not?

Because, look,
I'm worried about you.
Why?

Just because you don't
Have someone in your
Life right now...

Meaning luke.

And your parents and
Your dinners

And rory's off at college.

I do, however, have
My original nostril.

You can't use that as an excuse
To become "Couch potato girl."

What are you talking about?

Sitting at home,
Ordering takeout,

Watching television
Night after night.

That's what I've always done.

I was "Couch potato girl" even
When I had a guy and dinner

And the entire
Time rory was growing up.

Yes, but now it's pathetic.

Well, just a little.

You are not sitting
Home tonight.

We are going out!

We are?

Girls' night out.
Just you and me.

Oh, big fun, big excitement,
Big hair.

We'll get all dolled up
And paint the town!

I am coming to your house
Tonight at 7:00 sharp,

And I am taking you out,
And you better look hot.

You hear me?

Yes, I do.

But remember, I don't
Put out unless I get dinner.

I know.
I saw your bumper sticker.

Hi, I'd like a large
Caramel macchiato

With an extra shot
And whipped cream, please.

Coming up.

Wait, hold on.
How much is that?

$4.85.

Drop the extra shot.
What does that make it?
$4.20.

Make it a small.
What does that make it?
$3.30.

Drop the whipped cream.
What does that make it?
Less calories.

Just a plain old
Small coffee, please.

Oh!

D'oh.

Well, this would definitely
Qualify as a cute meet

If we hadn't already met.

Logan, hey.

This is nice
And embarrassing.

We going after the rollers?

A couple are heading
For the bushes.

No, I've supplied people
With a sufficient amount

Of silly images of me
For one day.

Small coffee for me and put
The lady's on my tab, too.

Logan, you don't have
To do that.

Ace, I can't take a
Chance of you pulling
Out that purse again.

Someone might get hurt.

Well, thank you.

I stopped by the paper
The other day to see you.

And then I tried to sneak out

When I realized
You weren't there,

But our omnipresent editor
Cornered me.

Does doyle ever
Leave that place?

Unfortunately, yes.

Otherwise I'd be denied
The regular pleasure

Of seeing him in "Property of
Alcatraz" pajama pants.

Thanks for the image.

Hey, come here.

What are you doing?

So that's what you're doing.

What did you think
I was doing?

People will see.

I don't care.

A professor will see you,

And he'll take advantage of the
Fact that you're distracted

And pull you in and make you
Take a midterm.

I'm done with them.
I already took the ones
I couldn't get out of.

Why are you here? You're
Going skiing, aren't you?

I have to drop off a paper
For my ethics class by 11:30,

And then I'm off.

It's 11:25.

So we're swimming in time.

What are you doing?

I wanna see your paper.

Your mind
Is a mysterious thing.

I'm dying to know what
Your take on ethics is.

Are you for it
Or against it?

No way.
It's too dangerous.

I actually worked
On this thing.

It goes from my hand
To the professor's.

Like I'm gonna lose it.

I saw you with your coins,
Plus let's remember hemingway.

What about him?

Trusting that wife of his
With the only copy he had

Of the novel he's working on?
The silly woman lost it.

Not so.
I know the story.

Hemingway left it
On a plane.

His wife had nothing to do
With it.

That's not the way
I heard it.

You heard it wrong.

How much you wanna bet?

The money in my purse,
Plus $1 million.

Well, my spelling stinks.
Take my word for it.

You'll call me from the cabin?

Absolutely.

Thanks for the coffee.

Any time.

Better have that million ready,
And I don't accept coins.

No promises.

Hello.

Kitchen!

Ow!
Rat bastard!

Are you okay?

Give me a hand!

Okay, bob hope's laughing
In heaven, but I'm not.

Bob hope got into heaven?

Please grab a bag.

This cannot all be laundry.

It's all laundry.
The machine's fixed, right?

Yes, and humming like new.
Which one's the rat bastard?

That one.
Take that!
And that!

Okay, he's had enough.

I wanna get a load going
Before I go to grandma's.

Good idea.

Hey, you're using it.

Yes, I know.

Well, I got dibs.

You didn't call dibs.

I'm a college student
Coming home on spring break.

That implies dibs
On the washer and dryer.

There's no implied dibs
In dibs.

If you don't call it,
You don't get it.

Well, this is just wrong.

What?

You're washing two socks.

They were dirty.
That's wasteful.

I really wanted
To wear them tonight.

They are your dancing
Santa claus socks.

You're not gonna
Wear those for 10 months.

I can wear them eccentrically
Any time I want.

Then you're gonna have
To put one of my loads
In while I'm gone.

And risk a hernia?

I'll never finish otherwise.

I'll do two loads.
How's that?

Thank you.
All right, I gotta take off.

Drive safe, and
You've got gas, right?

Yeah, I got gas.

Enough gas to get
To hartford?

I think so.
Why?

Because I've got a $20 --
Ah, $20 on the fridge here.

Look.
Ho-ho, here it is!

I'm not gonna use it.
You should use it for gas.

Is it that obvious I'm broke?

You mentioned the minutes
On your cellphone,

A hint of panic
In your voice,

And now the months
Of saved-up laundry.

There are no good jobs at
Yale, and I'd take anything.

I took the liberty of asking
Around town for you.

Made you sound
All pathetic and ragged.

And there are a few temporary
Things you could take.

You are very in demand
In stars hollow.
Like what?

The radio station needs
Someone to drive up the hill

A couple times a day

And shoo the cows away
From the transmitter.

I'm not good with livestock.

The road crew needs a part-time
"Slow down" sign-holder-upper.

You'd get to wear a helmet.

I don't think so.

I saved the best for last.

Andrew needs help doing
Inventory at the book store.

I think that's probably
Your best bet.

That sounds great, actually.

Cool, just give him a ring.

Thanks. Now I need
To borrow some clothes

To wear to grandma's.

You're in clothes.

She'll insist
I take my jacket off,

And I'm down to my
"Give bush a wedgie" t-shirt.

Please wear that!

I'm gonna borrow
Some clothes.

There's another $20 in it
For you.

Start one of my loads.

$40 if you snap
A picture of her seeing it.

Finish your socks.

Rory, hello!
Come in!

Hi, grandma.

Oh, we missed you!

It's only been a few weeks,
Grandma.

Give your coat to eliza.

That's an interesting outfit
You have on.

Laundry day.

Everything young people
Do sounds fun to me.

No, it's pretty dreary.

Well, come in, come in.

Richard, rory's here!

Hurry down, and don't forget
To bring the you-know-what.

Forget you heard that.

Consider it forgotten.

Our trip was wonderful.
We have so much to tell you.

We'll have to wait till next
Week to show you pictures.

Richard bought
This new digital camera

That's supposed to be so
Simple a child can use it,

So now we need to find
A child to show us how.

[ laughs ]

Are you feeling okay?
I'm feeling fine.

Did you go to athens
On that first big
European trip of yours?

Um, yeah.

I hope you saw the national
Archaeological museum.

I thought of you there
The whole time.

The room with
The mask of agamemnon.

Yep, we hit that.

Interesting, huh?

Rory.

Grandpa!
Welcome home.

Well, thank you.

Look at this outfit.
I like the colors.

Thanks, it's borrowed.

So we have quite a bit
To catch up on.

I know, I wanna hear
All about it.

I'm sure your grandmother's
Caught you up somewhat.

I started to.

With the dozens
Of postcards she sent,

You probably remember the trip
Better than I do.

I still wanna hear
Your account.

Have her open the gift,
Richard.

Oh, yes, please!
Open it.

Oh, my god.
It's amazing!

"Leaves of grass" in greek.

100 years old.
Some beautiful engravings.

Now I have
To learn greek.

Feel the leather.

Grandpa,
Thank you so much.

You can thank
Your grandmother.

She helped pick it out.

Thank you, grandma.

Dinner is served,
Mrs. Gilmore.

Thank you, eliza.

You can flip through
That a little later.

Okay.

So, grandpa, is it true that
Every restaurant in the place

Has a view of the acropolis?

They like to think so,

But we found this charming
Little taverna -- "Dionysus."

The view was spectacular.

And the ouzo certainly
Lived up to its name.

* ba ba ba-ba

* ba ba ba-ba ba

* ba-ba ba

* ba ba ba-ba ba

Oh, I'm so hot, I may
Hit on myself tonight.

You look nice.

So do you.
Your hair is so fancy.

I'm ready to let it down.

What town are we
Painting first?

It's your big night out,
So anywhere you want.

Okay, how about dancing?

Dancing!
Yes!

* I'm a brick

* house

Now, I can't really dance

Because my ankles are
Completely swollen

And my stomach is a bit of a
Hindrance on the dance floor,

But I can watch you dance.

No, that's okay.
Let's do something else.

But you want to go dancing.

No, I'll do whatever.
Like what?

We can go to a bar.
Hang out and talk.

Sounds perfect.

Of course, I tend to get
A depressed

When I'm in a room full
Of people drinking

And I can't have a cocktail.

Did I tell you I'm
Having a recurring dream

About a magic piña colada
With whipped cream

And a ton of rum and a talking
Little paper umbrella?

If you're having dreams like
That, you don't need a cocktail.

How about a movie?

I have to get up to pee
Every five minutes,

But we can sit on an aisle
Near the back,

And you can fill me in
On what I miss.

Sookie, why don't
We just stay home?

No!
We're hitting the town!

Not tonight.

I can't let you become
The spinster on the couch.

We can go inside
And order in pizza.

You need to go out and see
Things and do things.

I have "A star is born,"
All three versions.

We can compare and contrast
Performances and dosages.

It is my responsibility
As your best friend

To make sure you go
Do exciting things

Even when you don't want to.

Hanging out with you
Is exciting.

It is?

And with pepperoni and
Extra cheese, look out.

I am getting kind of hungry.

Sure, all this partying
Will do that to you.

Can we watch the streisand
"Star is born" first?

I really love that scene

Where she chews on
Kris kristofferson's lips.

* ba ba ba-ba

* ba ba ba-ba ba ba

So, where are all your yale
Friends for spring break?

Uh, here and there.

Did your friend paris
Make interesting plans?

Not really.

And how's the shortcake?

It's fine, thanks.

I know this seems
A bit basic,

But eliza found the first decent
Strawberries of the year.

I'm so mad at california.

You'd think that rain
Would be good for crops.

It's counterintuitive.

Anyway, these strawberries
Are wonderful.

Could you pass them
To me, rory?

So, rory, is everything all
Right with you this evening?

I'm fine, grandpa.

You'd tell us if anything
Was bothering you?

Really, it's nothing.

Seems as though there might be
Something on your mind.

Not really.

All right.

So, grandpa, you hardly told me
Anything about your trip.

How was
The archaeological museum?

Oh, now, that's it.
Emily.

What is wrong with you?

Nothing.

I asked you about
That museum earlier

And all you did was mumble
Something about hitting it.

I should have been
More expansive. I'm sorry.

You've been pushing me away
All evening.

Emily, please.

You ask your grandfather
Question after question,

Make polite chitchat about the
Roast duck with the maid --

What's her name --
Tell her it's wonderful.

Because she made it,
And her name is eliza.

I told her to make the duck.

You're enjoying duck
Because I requested duck.

Well, it was a great duck,
Grandma.

Kudos on the duck.

This isn't you, this attitude.
This is your mother.

Don't bring up mom.

Look, both of you,
Let's try to calm down.

Why are you acting this way?

Your memory can't be
That short.
What does that mean?

Do we have
To get into this?

You should walk out
That door and come in
Again, start all over.

She doesn't need
To do that, emily.

We have a contract.

We pay for yale, you come
To dinner every friday night,

And you act pleasantly
And decently.

You're right, grandma.

We do have a contract,
But it's to come to dinner.

There's no agreement
On how vivacious or bubbly

I have to be.

You need to act like you.
I am!

This isn't you.

Look, grandma,
You know what you did.

Rory, please sit down.

What did you expect?

10 acropolis postcards,

And I would forget that
You broke up mom and luke?

Now, I respect our contract,

And I will continue
To come every friday night

And eat dinner with you,

But I won't guarantee an
Attitude that will please you.

Excuse me.
You are certainly
Not excused.

We're not through.

We have had dessert, I'll
Skip the port. Good night.

Rory.
Good night, grandpa.
I'll see you in a week.

See, now, this is perfect.

It's not a nightclub, but
It's a place you never go,

So it's different
And exciting.

And chocolaty.

Are you having fun?

Oh, not missing
The couch a bit.

Hey, lorelai.
Wow, twice in one day, huh?

Hi, frankie.

Yeah, well, just gotta
Have some pie, you know?

[ clears throat ]

Well, I haven't
Memorized the menu yet.

You come here?

You know, just once a day.

Unbelievable.

I have to go
Somewhere in the morning.

I didn't want to take you
Somewhere you always go.

I had a great time tonight,
And I appreciate your concern,

And I promise I am not going

To become a couch-potato
Spinster woman.

Okay, the minute
This comes out,

You and I are going away
For a weekend,

Just the two of us.

Absolutely,
Except for the fact

That you'll have
A newborn baby at home,

That's a perfect plan.

Hello, ladies.

Hi, kid.
How'd you know we'd be here?

What do you mean? You're
Always here. Hey, sookie.

Hey, egghead.
Do you want some pie?

I never say "No" to pie.

So, how was dinner?

Loud.

Meaning?

There was yelling.
What happened?

I just got so mad.

She was acting like
Nothing was wrong.

Like it was totally normal
That you weren't there,

And I couldn't take it.

I understand.
I understand, too.

You getting sleepy, sookie?

No, I'm fine.

Just a little
Past my bedtime is all.

Keep talking.

I left during shortcake.

I'm sorry to hear that.

Hey, grandma did this.
You didn't.

I know, I just hate that
You're fighting with them.

Don't worry about it.

She's sleeping.

Uh-huh. Yeah, well, we
Partied pretty hard tonight.

Do we wake her up?

No, we'll wait a minute.

Mom, can you...?

What?

Is something wrong?

Is it about grandma?

Do I have to ask
18 more of these?

You know how with dean
Things didn't exactly go

The way I planned?

You mean with you and him
Getting together?

No, I mean --
Yes, that, too --

But I promised you that I would
Come to you and talk to you

When I thought
I was ready to...

But I didn't because it
All happened so fast,

And I didn't get a chance,

And then everything
Got so messed up,

And then after,
It was weird.

The situation was weird.

I didn't feel comfortable
Coming to talk to you

About anything
Concerning us at all.

You can always talk to me,
Even when it's weird.

I want to go back to talking
About everything,

Just like before dean.

I second that motion.

I thought I would talk
To you now about logan.

Oh, okay.

I want to tell you now

So you hear it from me
Right when it's starting.

Right when it's starting.
Oh, got it.

So the two of you
Are starting something, huh?

Yes. We have definitely
Started something.

Started.

Oh, you've already
Started something.

Wow.
Okay, fast.

I know, but he's so great.
You've seen him.

He's beautiful
And really smart.

Smarter than me, I swear.

And he's great.

Yes, he seems great.

We have a lot in common,
Which is good.

Very good.

The paper and yale,
Of course.

He's extremely well-read.

And I know logan's rich, and
I know you don't really --

I don't care if he's rich.
If you like him --

I do.
I really like him.

And he's treating you well.

He is.
I'm having fun.

A lot of fun.

Okay, well, if he's
That important to you,

I should probably
Meet him again

Under different circumstances.

Right.

Everything all
Buttoned and zipped.

You will.
I promise.

Good.
That's good.

Anyhow, I just
Wanted you to know.

Okay.

So...Good talk.

Yeah?

Absolutely.

Man, I feel like I should buy
You a shot or something.

How about a rum ball?

Two rum balls coming up.

Hello.

Richard: lorelai,
It's your father.

Hello, there, my father.
What can I do for you?

You can take a more
Serious tone for starters.

[ british accent ]
Oh, hello, my father.
Lorelai.

[ normal ] Sorry,
I thought the british
Thing made it serious.

I assume you heard what
Happened at dinner last night.

Did it involve a fork?

No, it did not.

It involved your daughter

Being incredibly rude and
Insensitive to her grandmother.

I heard there was a bit
Of a flare-up there, yes.

It was more than a flare-up.

I've never seen
Rory behave like that.

Well, she was upset, dad.

Well, that is no excuse.

I don't know what to tell you.

Tell me what you intend
To do about it.

Nothing.

You have to talk to her.

No, I do not.

Lorelai, you are her mother.

It is up to you to set
An example for your daughter.

I did set an example, dad.

I didn't go to dinner.
She went anyhow.

Damn kids.
Can't teach 'em anything.

She yelled at
Her grandmother, lorelai,

At the dinner table
Right in front of me.

This is none
Of my business.

Of course it's your business.

It's your battle
She's fighting.

I do not have a battle.

You need to talk to her and tell
Her that this behavior is not --

Listen to me.
This is rory's thing, okay?

She was mad.
She was upset.

What does rory
Have to be upset about?

Rory loves luke, dad.

She did not want to see him
Humiliated like he was.

She cares about me.

Your mother did
What she thought --

Whoa, okay.
Just stop right there.

I'm not interested
In why mom did what she did.

But I was just --

Luke and I
Have broken up, dad.

We are no longer together.

And it is a direct result
Of what mom did,

And I know that
You could care less,

And I know that
Mom will be thrilled.

But I am not thrilled.
And rory's not thrilled.

We're both hurt
And extremely upset.

Now, I can stay away and not
Come to dinner and not see mom,

But rory made a deal
With you guys,

And rory never goes back
On anything she says,

So she went, she was there,

And if she was rude or cold,
Then I'm sorry.

But I personally feel
She has every right to be.

You and mom will just
Have to work that out

With her yourselves.

So then this is it?

You'll never visit
Our home again?

I don't know.

You'll send rory,

But you'll avoid us at
Thanksgiving, on christmas.

Probably.

So we're just supposed
To accept the fact

That we'll
Never see you again?

You can see me
Any time you want, dad.

I have no beef with you.

I see.

Well.

Uh, dad? While you're all
Calm and quiet there,

Can I ask you a question?

Go ahead.

The premium on my insurance
Policy at the inn

Is going up 15% because of
Some small-damage claims.

I'm sorry, you're asking me
A question about insurance?

Yeah.

Carry on.

So, these guys came by the inn
Last week, and -- oh.

Dad, I've gotta call you
Back in a sec, okay?

Thanks, bye.

Excuse me!
Hello, hi!

Is this your boat?

Uh, technically it is, yeah,

And I'm sorry that it's parked
Out here like this,

But see, it's supposed to be
Auctioned off for charity

For the "National boating
For peace

And low blood sugar
Organization for tiny children,"

And so they delivered it
Early and not finished,

And so it was dropped off here
To be picked up

By the boat-finishing guys.

I was supposed to move it, but
There was this kitten in a tree.

He had a cold, and I had
To bring him kleenex and --

Just move it
On street-cleaning days.

Yes, ma'am.

You want
Some ketchup, kirk?

No, thanks.

The distinct charred
Flavor of this meat

Is like a delicacy.

I wouldn't dream of
Obscuring it with condiments.

That's a pancake.

Fascinating.

Luke, my cheeseburger
And fries up yet?

How would I know?
What am I, a food psychic?

Do you want to know
How the grapefruit crop's

Gonna be this year?

Hold on, I'm getting
A message from a kumquat

From beyond the grave.

I'll go see for myself.

Hey, luke,
Can I get a napkin?

A cloth napkin and a moist
Towelette all in one.

I've got a delivery.
Be right back.

Sit anywhere?

Yeah, listen,
I will be back in 15 minutes.

Why don't you wait
And let me seat you then?

What?
Just trust me.

Forget it.
I'm hungry now.

Okay, anywhere's fine.

Thanks.

Unh!

Soup's on.

Oh, thank god.
I'm starving.

I've been dreaming about luke's
Cheeseburgers for a month.

How's the inventory coming?

Perfect.
I have a great system going.

This is my
"To be written down" pile,

My "Already
Written down" pile,

And this is my pile of books
That I now have to buy.

That's a big pile.

Bigger than
The other two piles.

This job must be
Costing you a fortune.

Oh, my god.

What is that thing?

Sorry,
I should have warned you.

This is disgusting.
This is from luke's?

Yeah, he's been
A little off his game lately.

It's like tiger woods
Made this thing.

Luke's been in a mood.

And he's taking it out
On the cheeseburgers?

Everything's either been
Burnt or dropped.

He's absolutely miserable.

He just mopes and growls
And stomps around.

He throws customers
Out the door.

I'm assuming his mood
Might have something to do

With a certain someone who's
Been spending a lot of her time

At weston's lately.

Oh, poor sad luke.

Poor sad tips.

I have to eat.

You want to run
Over to al's?

Can't. If luke's
Left alone too long,

He might burn the place down.

How about tonight?
You wanna do something?

I would love to, but
Zach is cooking me dinner.

Really?
Oh, that's so sweet.

It is, isn't it?

It's so nice
That you have zach.

It's like having a perfect
Haircut every single day.

My god, that is beautiful.

I'll call you later.

Okay, thanks
For the concept of lunch.

Any time.

Hmm.

This job was a great idea.

Hey, sookie, has my dad --

August 14th!

Oh, jeez.

What are you doing
August 14th?

Recovering from the grande
J'etais you just did there.

Last night, I called
Jackson's sister --

Colleen,
Not the drunk one --

And asked her
To take the kids

On the weekend
Of august 14th,

Because by then
There will be kids,

And I will be free to
Girlfriend the weekend away.

What do you think?

Oh, shoot.

If you'd
Just gotten to me sooner.

Sooner than six months
Ahead of time?

August is my bathing month.

Oh, well, september
Will probably work.

And you're joking.

August 14th
Would be perfect.

Oh, yay!

Hey, dad,
How does it look?

Why don't you go and check
That landing again, phil?

I'll be up in a moment.

Well, is it bad?
Is it good?

Am I screwed?
What do you think?

Philip and I have thoroughly
Toured the property,

And with the exception of
One too many garden gnomes,

We have found it
To be in top shape.

Really?
Yes.

I've also reviewed
Your policy.

And while I tip my hat
To the criminal genius

Who convinced you to sign it,
I find it appalling.

I knew the name
Shysty mcshysterson

Should have tipped me off.

You can do better,
And I can help.

Don't you tease me,
Gilmore.

Oh, no, I wouldn't dare.

So what do we do?

Philip will go over
The property again,

He'll take some pictures,

And tomorrow I will put a
New policy together for you.

Oh, my god.
You're my life-saver.

Hey, can I make
You guys some lunch?

No, thank you, sookie.

Come on, dad.
Not even a sandwich?

I'll have some coffee
If you're offering.

We're offering.

I'll heat up
Some scones to go with it.

Oh, no, I don't want --

Forget it, dad.
You're getting scones.

My god,
This is a bossy place.

You know,
I have to say, lorelai,

You've done
A wonderful job here.

Thank you, dad.

Well, the restoration,
The rooms, the homey feel.

And the stables --
Very smart.

People love horses.

They turned out
To be quite a draw.

You know,
Small inns like this

Are very fashionable
Right now.

The larger hotel chains
Are constantly searching

To acquire charming places
Like this.

They keep them
Just as they are.

They usually retain
The management.

I could do a little sniffing
Around for you if you like.

Are you talking
About selling my inn?

You would still run it, but
You'd make a lot of money.

I'm good, dad.

You should
Really think about it.

I don't think I'm gonna be
Selling this place,

But thank you
For the suggestion.

Yes, well,
If you change your mind...

Yes, I know
Where to find you.

Oh, my, what
Is that heavenly smell?

Scones.

I have never smelled anything
As heavenly as this.

Wait till you taste them.

More bubbly, my dear?

Please.

I opened the bottle
This afternoon,

So it's just the way you
Like it, nice and flat.

This whole thing
Was so sweet, zach.

Cooking me dinner.

It was fun.

The sauce was amazing.

My own creation.

Ragu with garlic salt,
Cayenne pepper,

And a dash of wasabi.

It made my ears pop.

One of the benefits.

The spaghetti
Was just right, too.

I threw some up against the wall
To tell if it was done.

It made a shape like peter
Gabriel's big bloated head.

It's still there
If you wanna see it.

Yeah, cool.

But not now, okay?

Later.

Oh, sure.

You're the best, you know?

The coolest.

The cutest.

Oh, thanks.
Back at you.

I liked you
The day I met you.

I even remember
What you were wearing.

Oh, god, I probably
Looked like a pig.

I need more clothes.

I want this to be right,
You know?

Yeah.
Absolutely.

The music's good for you?

Sure.

That was nice.

Yeah, it was.

We should probably
Clear the plates, right?
What?

Just to get them soaking.

No.
Uh, later.

After.

Okay.
After what?

After.

Right.

After.

Mm-hmm.

Oh, my god!
What?

You want to have sex.

Kind of.

Oh, my god!

You didn't know
Where this was heading?

How could I have known, zach?

I thought it was clear.

How? How?

I cooked.
I never cook.

I don't know
That you've never cooked.

I've known you --
What, two years?

This could be
A dormant hobby.

I lit candles.

I thought you were trying
To save on electricity.

I told you I wanted to have
A special evening with you.

Like that's a clue?

I don't say crap like,
"Special evening," lane!

I play guitar!

I lined the path to the
Bedroom door with rose petals.

You had to have seen that.

I thought you tracked them in.

You're always stepping in
Things, zach.

I don't know what else
I could've done.

Yeah, well, neither do I.

What?

You're right. You gave me,
Like, 83 clues,

And I missed them all.
I'm stupid.

You're not.

I was just
Trying to be subtle,

And that's not my thing.

I'm bad.
I'm a bad man!

You're not bad.
You're good.

I'm stupid.

I pushed you.
I should be arrested.

No, zach.

I should have known.

We've been dating for --
What, four months?

And we live together,
And I'm 20.

And you're a guy,
And I'm a girl,

And birds do it,
And bees do it.

So...What do you think?

I have to wait
Till I get married.
What?

I have to wait
Till I get married?

I didn't know that.
Neither did I.

Whoa.
Yeah, whoa.

I don't know
If I'm okay with that.

I'm not sure if I'm okay
With that, either.

What are you doing?

Cleaning up.

I'll do it.

No, zach, you're not
Getting any tonight.

The least I could do
Is clean up.

Richard: emily,

I don't believe we'd
Finished talking about this.

I think once you take a step
Back and think about this,

You will see that there's
Nothing to be upset about.

I'm not upset, richard.

You're not.

No, I am not.

That flower just
Had it coming, I assume.

You're loving this,
Aren't you?

Loving what?

Rory won't even look at me,

But it's, "Grandpa,
How was greece?"

And "Grandpa,
I just love my gift."

Oh, now, emily.

Lorelai won't take my
Calls but runs to daddy
With her insurance problems.

Her insurance company's
Been robbing her blind.

Please.
Would you like
To see her policy?

The deductible alone --

You're the favorite,

And you're loving
Every single minute of it.

This is not
A popularity contest.

No, not a contest.
You already won.

Emily, you are acting
Incredibly immature.

You couldn't wait to run
Over to that inn of hers

For your secret
Clandestine meeting.

How clandestine
Could it be?

I just told you about it.

I do not understand why you
Refuse to stand by me on this.

Why haven't we
Gotten stools in here?!

I did what I did
For her own good.

I only want the best for her,
And since she is incapable

Of judging what is right and
What is wrong, I had to step in.

Yes, you did.
You acted, and it backfired.

Richard.

It was a noble effort,
But it failed.

Now we have to deal with
The reality in front of us.

However misguided lorelai's
Feelings are right now,

The fact is, she is not
Willing to deal with you.

She will, however,
Deal with me.

And at least this way, we
Still have contact with her.

Contact.
Please.

And hopefully, with time, we
Will be able to convince her

To come back, and things
Will return to normal.

However, if we simply cut her
Off -- no contact whatsoever --

Then the odds of being able
To get things back

To the status quo
Are not very good at all.

Don't you agree?

I thought so.

All right,
Now, don't worry.

I have everything
Under control.

Of course you do.

Because you're the favorite.

I can't believe it.
I just cannot believe it!

It's okay.

How did this happen?

I started listening
To rock music

When I was seven years old.

I stuck makeup on at school.

I managed to join a band
Without anyone knowing.

I had a boyfriend

Who my mother thought
Was a christian guitarist.

And I ate spicy condiments like
They were going out of style.

I drank soda, ate hamburgers.

I wore jewelry.
I danced.

Not very well.

Hey, any skill level's
A sin.

And then I moved out,
And I live with two guys.

I mean, nothing else stuck.
Nothing.

So why this?

It's a mystery.

Why couldn't the gluten-free
Thing stick?

I could have lived with that.
Or the not dancing thing.

You should have seen zach's
Face. It was like --

Like he realized he wasn't
Gonna have sex with you

Until the wedding night.

Yes!
Exactly.

God, this blows!

A lot of people wait until
They're married to have sex.

Yes! Jessica simpson and
Donna from "90210."

And a couple of others.

What if I never get married?

You'll get married.

If I never get married,
Then I'll never have sex.

You'll get married.
You'll have sex.

That's easy for you to say.

You've already had sex
With two different guys

Within a one-year period.

You're making me sound
A little slutty.

Why shouldn't you be slutty?

You have
No mother-taught moral

Standing in the way of you
And your sluttiness.

Oh, well, when
You put it that way.

Is it great?

Is what great?

Sex.
Is it great?

Not in front
Of the books, lane.

What am I saying?
Of course it's great!

And I will never experience it

Because by the time
I'm ready to get married,

All the men
Will be taken by women

Who didn't grow up
In my household.

You going out
To find a husband?

I have to get extra
Trash bags for the diner.

Call me later.

You're in my head!
Are you happy?!

You are in my head!

What?

Logan: hello?

We were both wrong.
About?

Hemingway's manuscripts

Were stolen in hadley's
Suitcase at the gare de leon.

Just thought you should
Know we're both dumb.

I guess we found each other.

Guess we did.

So, how's the outing
In the woods going?

It was going fine
Until finn decided

To go through one
Of his naked phases.

Yikes.

Yeah, suddenly the cabin
Seemed very small.

Plus it got boring, and there's
Too many people there I know,

So I decided to cut
My skiing trip short.

Yeah?
Where are you now?

Yale.

What?

Seems like I got the
Whole place to myself, too.

I bet. Everybody's gone
For spring break.

It's nice like this.

Very quiet.
Lots of privacy.

It's too bad
You're not here.

And why is that?

I just think you'd like it.

Well, take me a picture.

You know, if by chance
You decided

To cut your spring break short,

You could be here with me
To see it yourself.

Oh, really.

Just a suggestion, ace.

Well, I'll think about it.

You're sure you're okay
With this?

Oh, my god.
For the 50th time, yes.

But I know you had
The whole week planned out.

I saw the dvd.
"A woman under the influence"?

A.K.A. The story of me.

Soap marathon.

All can be done
At a later time.

How about next weekend?

Let me check
My spinster catalog.

No, I'm gonna be knitting
Toilet paper cozies till 3:00,

But after that, I'm good.

We can do the friday-night
Weston's dessert thing again.

Yeah, whatever you want.

You're sure you're not mad?

Well, you'll never truly know
Until you read my memoir.

Oh, well.

Wait.

Here.

So you'll always
Have clean underwear.

Mom.
Take them.

Clean underwear -- priceless.

I'm gonna cover the books
You bought from andrew.

No.
Yes.

You're an enabler.

You're my only daughter...
That I know of.

Mom, thanks.

You're welcome.

So, he came back early, huh?

Oh, yeah.

He said there just wasn't
Much to do up at the cabin,

And it just got cramped and
Gross with all those guys.

So he came back early, huh?

Yeah.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Oh, my god, I love this stuff
I think is meat loaf!

Sorry.

Hello, luke.

When you get a moment, I'd like
To have a word with you.

I'm busy right now.

That's fine.

I'll just wait here
Until things die down.

You have
A wide selection here.

What is mud pie?

Oh, that's awesome.

It's chocolate pie
With oreo-cookie crust,

And sometimes you can get luke
To put gummy worms in it,

Like worms in the mud,
So you can imagine.

Well, you've painted
A wonderful picture.

Your coffee maker
Seems to be full now.

More coffee, kirk?

Oh, no,
I can't drink coffee.

It makes my lungs hurt.

Thanks.

Would you mind excusing us?

Oh, um, okay.

[ bell dings ]

My daughter and I
Aren't speaking.

She won't take my calls.
She won't come to dinner.

She apparently
Wants nothing to do with me.

I'm sure you know that lorelai
And I have had many battles.

Most of them have been

Because I feel
I know what's best for her.

But lorelai has her own ideas

About what she thinks
Will make her happy.

She wants you, luke.

She's made her choice, god
Help her, but there it is.

It doesn't matter
If I agree with it.

I can't fight it.
You've won.

Go back to her.

I promise
I will stay out of it.

You're going to have
To clean that window.

* the night is bitter

* the stars have lost
Their glitter *

* the winds grow colder

* suddenly you're older

[ knock on door ]
* and all because of the man

* that got away

* no more his eager call

* the writing's on the wall

* the dream's you've dreamed
Have all gone astray *