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1
00:00:20,716 --> 00:00:22,152
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
2
00:00:22,979 --> 00:00:24,198
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
3
00:00:25,938 --> 00:00:29,333
NARRATOR: Long, long ago
in merry old England,
4
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:32,162
there lived a warm
and friendly,
5
00:00:32,249 --> 00:00:34,208
happy-go-lucky people
6
00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:36,949
who lived life
to its fullest.
7
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,823
Unfortunately, this movie
isn't about them.
8
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:44,957
This movie is about
another group of people.
9
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:49,092
A people so stern,
so self-righteous,
10
00:00:49,179 --> 00:00:52,139
so sanctimoniously dour
11
00:00:52,226 --> 00:00:56,360
that they even called
themselves "Puritans."
12
00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:00,321
This is the day of their
departure from England.
13
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:05,413
A sad, sad day
for one and all.
14
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:08,807
Anyway, the Puritans
were setting out for
the New World,
15
00:01:08,894 --> 00:01:11,419
where they could
make the rules.
16
00:01:11,506 --> 00:01:14,161
They wanted to build
towns with curfews,
17
00:01:14,248 --> 00:01:16,250
schools with dress codes,
18
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:19,166
restrooms with pay toilets,
19
00:01:19,253 --> 00:01:22,691
and they decided
to do it in an obscure,
20
00:01:22,778 --> 00:01:25,781
far-off backwoods
colony of England,
21
00:01:25,868 --> 00:01:27,087
a place called
22
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,263
America.
23
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,327
Sara!
24
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,243
Miles!
25
00:04:47,983 --> 00:04:50,333
[ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYING]
26
00:05:00,474 --> 00:05:02,954
[MUSIC STOPS]
27
00:05:06,436 --> 00:05:07,307
Sara!
28
00:05:07,698 --> 00:05:09,004
Miles!
29
00:05:09,091 --> 00:05:10,962
[ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
30
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,403
[MUSIC STOPS]
31
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,102
Sara! Miles!
32
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,324
[ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES]
33
00:05:24,411 --> 00:05:25,368
[SARA EXCLAIMING]
34
00:05:26,195 --> 00:05:27,805
Oh, Miles,
35
00:05:27,892 --> 00:05:30,765
I've waited
four long years
for this moment.
36
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:32,506
Oh, Sara.
37
00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,725
Sara, you're even
more beautiful
than I remember.
38
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:37,119
Oh, we mustn't.
Someone might see us.
39
00:05:37,206 --> 00:05:38,773
So what if they do?
40
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,557
They passed
a city ordinance
while you were gone
41
00:05:40,644 --> 00:05:43,473
that strictly forbids
public display of affection.
42
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:45,519
A law against kissing?
You're kidding.
43
00:05:45,606 --> 00:05:47,434
No, Miles, I'm not.
44
00:05:47,521 --> 00:05:50,262
No kissing,
no touching,
45
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:53,744
no looking directly
into the eyes of a member
of the opposite sex,
46
00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,311
no bathing.
47
00:05:55,964 --> 00:05:57,531
You can't take a bath?
48
00:05:57,618 --> 00:05:59,054
Not if you're naked.
49
00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,664
Well, that's ridiculous!
50
00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:03,493
There's nothing wrong
with the human body.
51
00:06:03,580 --> 00:06:05,756
Especially
the one God gave you.
52
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,584
Miles!
53
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,544
Is that the sort of
talk you learned
in Divinity School?
54
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,459
Well, no, not exactly
at the school.
55
00:06:12,546 --> 00:06:15,157
But in the locker room,
all the guys talk like that.
56
00:06:15,244 --> 00:06:17,420
Oh, oh, you'd
love them, Sara.
57
00:06:17,507 --> 00:06:18,900
Real men of the world,
58
00:06:18,987 --> 00:06:20,815
from Jamestown
and Williamsburg.
59
00:06:20,902 --> 00:06:22,512
All the big cities.
60
00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:24,514
Sara, there's a whole
new world just...
61
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:27,691
Just filled with
new ideas and new ways
of looking at things.
62
00:06:27,778 --> 00:06:30,651
Do you realize
it's almost the year 1700?
63
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:34,002
It's time for Salem
to catch up with
the rest of the world.
64
00:06:34,089 --> 00:06:35,917
And I'm here to
make sure it happens.
65
00:06:36,526 --> 00:06:38,615
What do you mean?
66
00:06:38,702 --> 00:06:41,749
You are looking at
the new Assistant Minister
at the Church of Salem.
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00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,446
I wanted
to surprise you.
68
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:45,840
Oh, Miles,
that's wonderful!
69
00:06:45,927 --> 00:06:48,233
Oh, let's run tell
Aunt Deliverance.
70
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,845
Oh, how about we
celebrate a little first?
71
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:01,072
[URGING HORSES]
72
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:14,390
Ooh!
73
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,623
[WHIPPING][MAN SCREAMING]
74
00:07:29,710 --> 00:07:31,189
WOMAN: How can
he do this? No!
75
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:35,977
[CONTINUES SCREAMING]
76
00:07:36,499 --> 00:07:37,718
No! No!
77
00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:41,896
You gotta have
more snap in your wrist.
78
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:44,115
[MAN SCREAMING LOUDLY]
79
00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:48,772
How's that?
80
00:07:48,859 --> 00:07:50,644
It's much better.
81
00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,124
[SCREAMS]
82
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:57,868
UPTON: A fiver?
When did it go
up to five?
83
00:07:57,955 --> 00:08:00,480
Well, we did a little
more today, didn't we?
84
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:03,570
Yeah. It hurt like hell,
but it was worth it.
85
00:08:03,657 --> 00:08:06,877
Uh, well, I don't have
the money on me. I...
86
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:08,313
I'm good for it, though.
87
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:10,490
After all, I'm the mayor!
88
00:08:11,534 --> 00:08:13,057
What say we put it
on my bill?
89
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:17,366
Let's say you pay up,
or I collect from your wife.
90
00:08:17,975 --> 00:08:19,281
My wife... [CHUCKLES]
91
00:08:20,064 --> 00:08:21,588
My wife!
92
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,459
Yes! I have the money!
93
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:24,678
It's in the
safety deposit box!
94
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,375
You wait here!
I'll get it!
95
00:08:26,984 --> 00:08:28,986
Ow! What the... Oh!
96
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:36,516
One, two, three,
and four, and five.
97
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,915
[MAN CONTINUES SCREAMING]
98
00:08:53,663 --> 00:08:55,622
Allow me to help you,
Your Honor.
99
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,841
I don't need any help.
Thank you.
100
00:08:57,928 --> 00:09:00,627
But, Your Honor,
the recent weather...
101
00:09:00,714 --> 00:09:03,455
My dear fellow,
I can assure you
102
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,589
that despite my scholarly
and aristocratic countenance,
103
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:10,637
I am indeed quite capable,
as you can see,
104
00:09:10,724 --> 00:09:13,988
of extricating myself
from a simple
equestrian sedan.
105
00:09:14,771 --> 00:09:16,120
Now piss off!
106
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,558
You fool...
107
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,561
Oh! Great God!
108
00:09:21,909 --> 00:09:23,171
Pull me out!
109
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:24,694
There's something
biting me in here!
110
00:09:24,781 --> 00:09:26,435
Get a grip on yourself!
111
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,089
[GASPS]
112
00:09:28,176 --> 00:09:31,005
UPTON: Oh, no!
It's the judge!
113
00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:36,140
Yes, and we can certainly
discuss that re-zoning
variance at the office.
114
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:38,403
JUDGE JOHN: Help me!
115
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,580
You're back.
116
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,278
Isn't that woman
an adulteress?
117
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,758
Yeah, and a damn
good one, too.
118
00:09:46,150 --> 00:09:48,457
Get inside, you
spineless sensualist!
119
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,111
We're in deep trouble!
120
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:57,901
I've just come from
our bank in Boston.
121
00:09:57,988 --> 00:10:00,687
We are on the verge
of losing everything.
122
00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,516
Why are you always
so negative?
123
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:10,522
Now you listen to me,
you certified twit!
124
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,395
Thousands of settlers
are pouring into
these colonies.
125
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:16,833
Salem is becoming
a real estate goldmine.
126
00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:20,881
We could've already
owned everything
if it wasn't for you.
127
00:10:20,968 --> 00:10:22,752
Me? What did I do?
128
00:10:24,493 --> 00:10:28,018
When the bank gave us
all that money,
129
00:10:28,105 --> 00:10:30,238
it was to buy land,
130
00:10:30,325 --> 00:10:33,371
not finance one of
your stupid schemes!
131
00:10:33,458 --> 00:10:35,112
It was a good idea.
132
00:10:35,722 --> 00:10:38,028
Animal chastity belts?
133
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,770
Well, you certainly
ate your half
of the profits.
134
00:10:40,857 --> 00:10:44,469
You gimlet-eyed ferret!
135
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:48,560
How could I have
ever let you put
all this in jeopardy?
136
00:10:49,910 --> 00:10:51,738
Puritan Village!
137
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,261
Our American Dream!
138
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:54,828
Luxurious condos.
139
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,873
Filled with lusty housewives.
140
00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:58,483
Executive-class
office space.
141
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,703
Bustling with
large-breasted secretaries.
142
00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:02,618
And our biggest
moneymaker,
143
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:05,142
Ye Olde Heritage Mall.
144
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,667
A hangout for
oversexed teenagers!
145
00:11:07,754 --> 00:11:11,801
Shut up, would you?
Shut up, you
hedonistic degenerate!
146
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,673
Now you get your mind
out of the gutter,
147
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,500
and help me figure out
a way to get the people
in this town
148
00:11:15,587 --> 00:11:17,328
to give up their land.
149
00:11:18,939 --> 00:11:20,592
Oh, Daddy, Daddy!
150
00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,985
[SPEAKING WITH IMPEDIMENT]
I just had a fight with
151
00:11:22,072 --> 00:11:24,118
that horrible girl
across the street!
152
00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,729
She pulled my hair
right out of my head!
153
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,035
What girl?
154
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,689
The witch girl
across the street.
155
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:31,038
Witch girl?
156
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,822
Is the girl
really a witch?
157
00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:34,737
No, no, no, no.
She means "rich girl."
158
00:11:34,824 --> 00:11:36,608
She has trouble
with her "R's."
159
00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:38,654
Witch, witch,
dirty witch.
160
00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:42,527
Oh, Belinda,
be careful what
you say, child.
161
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:46,618
After all, if the girl
really were a witch,
162
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,708
well, we'd have to
burn her at the stake
163
00:11:48,795 --> 00:11:50,710
and confiscate
her family's land.
164
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:53,103
Now, we wouldn't want...
165
00:11:57,891 --> 00:11:59,196
Wait a minute.
166
00:11:59,283 --> 00:12:01,285
Wait a minute!
167
00:12:02,417 --> 00:12:03,810
That's it!
168
00:12:03,897 --> 00:12:05,072
I've got it!
169
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,813
What?
170
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,902
If we were to harness
the power of steam
171
00:12:08,989 --> 00:12:11,948
into some kind
of piston engine,
172
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:15,778
why, we could then
power huge vessels
across the ocean
173
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,824
without the use of sails!
174
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:19,608
What?
175
00:12:21,175 --> 00:12:22,742
Oh!
176
00:12:22,829 --> 00:12:24,744
Sorry, I was thinking
of something else.
177
00:12:24,831 --> 00:12:27,050
What I meant
to say was this,
178
00:12:27,137 --> 00:12:29,661
if we were to accuse
the people in...
179
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:32,490
Belinda, sweetheart,
180
00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:34,666
why don't you
run along?
181
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,233
No, I don't wanna!
182
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:38,018
Belinda!
183
00:12:38,105 --> 00:12:39,759
Uh, please.
She's my daughter.
I'll deal with this.
184
00:12:39,846 --> 00:12:41,499
Belinda, hold this.
185
00:12:42,022 --> 00:12:43,588
[GAGGING]
186
00:12:43,675 --> 00:12:45,677
Get out of here.
Get out!
187
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:46,853
Now go!
188
00:12:46,940 --> 00:12:47,941
[WHINING]
189
00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:52,032
Your wretched little
toad of a daughter,
190
00:12:52,119 --> 00:12:53,990
no offense...None taken.
191
00:12:54,077 --> 00:12:56,384
...has given me
an inspiration.
192
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:02,042
My friend,
193
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:07,525
we are going to stir up
a witch frenzy.
194
00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:11,094
Accuse innocent
people of consorting
with the devil,
195
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:14,402
give them a quick
mock trial,
196
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:17,971
mercilessly burn
them at the stake,
197
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:20,843
and then... Then,
198
00:13:21,931 --> 00:13:24,978
confiscate all their land.
199
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,112
Is that legal?
200
00:13:31,027 --> 00:13:31,941
Yes.
201
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:38,818
[PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC]
202
00:13:45,433 --> 00:13:49,959
♪ A pussy's
a man's best friend
203
00:13:51,395 --> 00:13:56,096
♪ You can never
count on a man
204
00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:03,930
♪ A pussy's
a man's best friend, love
205
00:14:04,017 --> 00:14:09,152
♪ What a comfort
to have one in hand
206
00:14:10,458 --> 00:14:13,896
♪ My sweet little pussy
207
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:18,640
♪ My sweet little pussy
208
00:14:20,424 --> 00:14:27,040
♪ Just give me my pussy
to pat ♪
209
00:14:29,477 --> 00:14:31,522
Oh, thank you.
210
00:14:31,609 --> 00:14:34,656
It was just something
that came to me
in bed this morning.
211
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:37,441
Aunt Deliverance,
look who's here.
212
00:14:37,528 --> 00:14:40,009
It's Miles, back
from Divinity School.
213
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:42,011
Oh, how do you do?
214
00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,971
Are you new to Salem?
215
00:14:45,058 --> 00:14:48,104
Aunt Deliverance,
you've known Miles
since he was a child.
216
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,890
Oh, of course.
217
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,153
Go along with her.
Act like we
know each other.
218
00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:56,156
MILES: But we do.
219
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,901
Why don't I fix us
a nice pot of tea?
220
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:05,513
In the meantime,
you and Miles can
catch up on old times.
221
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,297
What old times?
222
00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:12,259
So, Aunt Deliverance,
how've you been?
223
00:15:12,346 --> 00:15:14,043
Oh, I'm glad you asked.
224
00:15:14,130 --> 00:15:16,959
I had the most
wonderful enema
this morning.
225
00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:19,614
At first I thought
nothing was happening,
226
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,660
and then a low
rumble started.
227
00:15:22,747 --> 00:15:25,968
Anyway, I felt this
whooshing, and then...
228
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,231
Uh, excuse me,
Aunt Deliverance.
229
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,755
I'm gonna see if Sara
might need my help
in the kitchen.
230
00:15:35,412 --> 00:15:38,067
Sara, what are you doing?
231
00:15:38,154 --> 00:15:40,461
We were out of kindling.
I didn't want to
bother you.
232
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,898
Oh, Sara, step aside.
233
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:45,335
You could get hurt.
234
00:15:45,422 --> 00:15:46,946
Oh, Miles.
235
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:53,213
[GRUNTING]
236
00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:57,347
[GROANS]
237
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,010
[GROANING]
238
00:16:13,581 --> 00:16:14,625
Ow!
239
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:29,901
[HORSE SCREECHES TO A HALT]
240
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,473
I beg your pardon.
241
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,779
Oh, yes.
242
00:16:40,825 --> 00:16:42,566
I wonder if you
could help me.
243
00:16:42,653 --> 00:16:44,655
My horse seems to
have thrown a shoe.
244
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:51,053
Oh, well, to tell you the
truth, I don't know much
about shoeing a horse.
245
00:16:51,140 --> 00:16:53,055
Oh, neither do I.
246
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:56,493
I just love the feel
of riding a large
brute of an animal,
247
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:59,322
its power surging
between my legs,
248
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:04,284
its rippling flesh
straining to
my every command.
249
00:17:04,371 --> 00:17:05,720
[HORSE NEIGHING]
250
00:17:07,983 --> 00:17:09,376
Yeah.
251
00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:12,205
By the way,
I'm Miles Campbell.
252
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:14,294
And I, sir,
am Faith Stewart.
253
00:17:15,208 --> 00:17:17,036
Oh. Oops!
254
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:19,212
How clumsy.
255
00:17:19,299 --> 00:17:20,387
Allow me.
256
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:28,090
Um, it seems to have
gotten stuck under
your, uh...
257
00:17:28,177 --> 00:17:30,484
Oh, here, let me help.
258
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:44,541
Uh, yeah,
I have to get back to...
259
00:17:44,628 --> 00:17:46,195
I've got to get
back to my wood.
260
00:17:46,282 --> 00:17:48,719
I've still got a lot
of chopping to do.
261
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,899
Looks like you've made
quite a bit of progress
to me.
262
00:18:05,258 --> 00:18:06,215
I...
263
00:18:10,306 --> 00:18:11,351
[GROANING]
264
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:20,142
Sara, Sara,
are you all right?
265
00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:22,753
Oh, I think so.
266
00:18:22,840 --> 00:18:25,669
One minute I was awake,
and the next minute I...
267
00:18:26,279 --> 00:18:27,802
Miles!
268
00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:29,934
Did you do all that?
269
00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:31,022
No.
270
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,589
[THUDS]
271
00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:36,506
And I don't know
who did.
272
00:18:47,256 --> 00:18:48,388
[CRYING]
273
00:18:50,303 --> 00:18:52,957
Was that really
necessary, Mummy?
274
00:18:53,044 --> 00:18:55,221
Child's play is
the devil's workshop.
275
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,353
[CHATTERING]
276
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:00,922
The game begins.
277
00:19:01,009 --> 00:19:03,751
Just the man we need,
Parson Babcock.
278
00:19:03,838 --> 00:19:05,318
Oh, his mother
is with him.
279
00:19:05,405 --> 00:19:06,971
I'm getting out of here. Stay right here.
280
00:19:07,058 --> 00:19:08,538
Parson!BABCOCK: Gentlemen.
281
00:19:08,625 --> 00:19:10,497
Good afternoon,
Mother Babcock.
282
00:19:10,584 --> 00:19:12,151
And how are we today?
283
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,369
Half dead.
284
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,545
That's nice.
285
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:19,593
Parson, I was praying
that you could give us
a few moments of your time.
286
00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,423
We have a matter of
weighty importance
to discuss with you.
287
00:19:23,510 --> 00:19:25,816
It concerns
your congregation.
288
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:29,472
Oh, yes.
Well, l know attendance
has been down of late.
289
00:19:30,299 --> 00:19:32,214
Only three people
last Sunday.
290
00:19:32,301 --> 00:19:34,173
But I do plan
to change all that.
291
00:19:34,260 --> 00:19:37,263
As a matter of fact,
I've invented a new game.
292
00:19:37,828 --> 00:19:39,613
Bingo.
293
00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:41,267
Now, you have these
little cards with
numbers on them...
294
00:19:41,354 --> 00:19:43,399
Cut the crap.
295
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,967
If you've figured out
a way to get more stiffs
into that church,
296
00:19:46,054 --> 00:19:47,316
we want to
hear about it.
297
00:19:48,317 --> 00:19:49,797
Yes. Yes!
298
00:19:49,884 --> 00:19:51,277
We certainly have.
299
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,453
Now, would you like
to discuss it over tea?
300
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:55,585
Fine. Let's all go
to our house.
301
00:19:55,672 --> 00:19:57,196
Well, but...Push!
302
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,591
Are we almost there?
303
00:20:01,678 --> 00:20:02,897
Yup, just a
few more feet.
304
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:04,420
Whoa! Careful.
305
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:13,951
Go on, read it.
306
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:16,171
MILES: "Madame Dong's
House of Rubbers"?
307
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,217
No, silly,
that's upstairs.
308
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,696
Read the sign below it.
309
00:20:20,654 --> 00:20:22,351
"Sara's Bakeshop!"
310
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,224
Oh, Sara!
Sara, you did it!
311
00:20:25,311 --> 00:20:26,312
Your very own shop.
312
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:28,096
Oh, just think,
313
00:20:28,183 --> 00:20:30,359
someday people
all over the land
may know Sara Lee
314
00:20:30,446 --> 00:20:33,232
as the one who
makes those delicious
cakes and pies.
315
00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,885
[GIGGLES]
316
00:20:34,972 --> 00:20:37,236
Do you think
I should've used
my full name?
317
00:20:37,975 --> 00:20:39,325
What, Sara Lee?
318
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:42,328
Nah, just Sara's fine.
319
00:20:42,415 --> 00:20:45,069
Oh, you know, Sara,
this is what
America's all about.
320
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:47,855
Having a dream,
watching it grow.
321
00:20:47,942 --> 00:20:51,337
Oh, Sara, we're so
lucky to be young
and in love,
322
00:20:51,424 --> 00:20:52,555
and in Salem.
323
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:57,038
Witchcraft is a most
serious charge.
324
00:20:57,125 --> 00:21:02,478
Ah, but sadly
there is much
more proof, Parson.
325
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:05,394
Isn't that right,
Mr. Mayor?
326
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:07,744
What?
327
00:21:07,831 --> 00:21:10,660
Why don't you tell
the Parson the eerie tale
328
00:21:10,747 --> 00:21:12,619
concerning your brother.
329
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,714
The brother that had
330
00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:25,458
the strange and
supernatural experience.
331
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:32,421
I don't have a brother.
332
00:21:36,773 --> 00:21:38,035
[SLAPPING]
333
00:21:40,473 --> 00:21:43,737
My brother had a strange,
supernatural experience.
334
00:21:44,651 --> 00:21:45,652
Uh,
335
00:21:47,523 --> 00:21:50,613
ever since we were
little kids, my brother,
336
00:21:52,485 --> 00:21:55,314
well, he always
hated lima beans.
337
00:21:57,577 --> 00:22:00,536
And this one night,
it was a very scary night,
338
00:22:02,016 --> 00:22:03,887
there was thunder
and lightning
339
00:22:03,974 --> 00:22:05,454
and a full moon!
340
00:22:06,237 --> 00:22:07,674
And my brother,
341
00:22:09,980 --> 00:22:11,199
he ate
342
00:22:12,243 --> 00:22:13,897
three helpings
of lima beans.
343
00:22:17,553 --> 00:22:19,555
I was so scared,
I blacked out!
344
00:22:23,472 --> 00:22:25,953
Yes, well, that is
a frightening story.
345
00:22:28,651 --> 00:22:30,523
But I still think, somehow,
you'll have a difficult time
346
00:22:30,610 --> 00:22:33,003
convincing the
good people of this town
347
00:22:33,090 --> 00:22:35,528
that such evil
dwells among them.
348
00:22:35,615 --> 00:22:36,964
JUDGE JOHN: Really, Parson?
349
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,315
Oh, my,
350
00:22:40,402 --> 00:22:44,145
I didn't want to
have to submit you
to this horror,
351
00:22:44,232 --> 00:22:46,669
but I'm afraid
you give me no choice.
352
00:22:47,627 --> 00:22:51,413
This is
Mrs. Elizabeth Goodbody,
353
00:22:52,501 --> 00:22:54,242
an innocent young woman
354
00:22:54,329 --> 00:22:58,202
who was demonically
transformed into
a piece of granite!
355
00:22:58,289 --> 00:22:59,682
Dear God.
356
00:22:59,769 --> 00:23:01,467
I ask you, Parson,
357
00:23:01,554 --> 00:23:05,340
is this to be
the fate of the people
of our community?
358
00:23:05,427 --> 00:23:07,342
Do you want to
go down in history
359
00:23:07,429 --> 00:23:10,476
as the man who let
Salem turn into a quarry?
360
00:23:11,694 --> 00:23:13,000
Well, uh,
361
00:23:14,567 --> 00:23:15,481
no.
362
00:23:17,439 --> 00:23:20,399
Time is running out,
Parson.
363
00:23:22,139 --> 00:23:23,837
What are we going to do?
364
00:23:29,625 --> 00:23:30,539
So,
365
00:23:31,932 --> 00:23:34,282
you've finally come
to your senses,
366
00:23:35,631 --> 00:23:38,634
come to realize
what I've always known,
367
00:23:39,853 --> 00:23:41,507
that the sons and
daughters of Lucifer
368
00:23:41,594 --> 00:23:43,509
have been allowed
to run free in this town
369
00:23:43,596 --> 00:23:45,336
for much too long!
370
00:23:46,773 --> 00:23:51,125
Now is the time for
the decent, God-fearing
people of this town
371
00:23:51,212 --> 00:23:54,433
to unite and spill
the blood of the wicked!
372
00:23:55,999 --> 00:23:58,524
I say we cut out
their slimy guts
373
00:23:58,611 --> 00:24:00,569
and burn 'em
to a crisp!
374
00:24:05,835 --> 00:24:07,446
NATHANIEL: Faith.
375
00:24:08,621 --> 00:24:09,752
Faith.
376
00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,539
Faith!
377
00:24:13,626 --> 00:24:15,932
Your cousin is
speaking to you!
378
00:24:19,196 --> 00:24:23,723
Oh, I'm sorry, Abigail.
What did you say, darling?
379
00:24:23,810 --> 00:24:27,466
I said, I guess you
must find our little
town pretty dull
380
00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,468
after your life
in London.
381
00:24:29,555 --> 00:24:31,339
Oh, not really.
382
00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:36,431
Why, just today
I saw something that
got me so excited.
383
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,175
Really?
384
00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:44,961
You know, the way
you've been shaking
385
00:24:45,048 --> 00:24:47,224
that fancy tail of yours
all over town,
386
00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:49,662
it's a wonder you
haven't ended up
in the stocks!
387
00:24:49,749 --> 00:24:51,925
Nathaniel,
Faith is our guest!
388
00:24:53,883 --> 00:24:56,407
NATHANIEL: That
reminds me, missy,
389
00:24:56,495 --> 00:25:00,020
just how much longer
can we expect the pleasure
of your company?
390
00:25:00,107 --> 00:25:03,632
[GASPS] Nathaniel,
may I remind you
Faith is in mourning.
391
00:25:03,719 --> 00:25:04,590
Ha!
392
00:25:04,677 --> 00:25:05,982
I should hope so!
393
00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:07,984
Seven husbands
in two years?
394
00:25:08,071 --> 00:25:10,900
She's jammed more
pork than a Salem
sausage stuffer!
395
00:25:11,988 --> 00:25:13,903
[NATHANIEL LAUGHING]
396
00:25:15,688 --> 00:25:17,603
Well, I do hope
your new room
pleases you, Miles.
397
00:25:17,690 --> 00:25:19,648
Oh, yes, yes, Parson.
It's just perfect.
398
00:25:19,735 --> 00:25:21,824
Good. Mummy
serves breakfast
at 5:00 a.m. sharp.
399
00:25:21,911 --> 00:25:23,652
One egg, hardboiled,
and a glass of water.
400
00:25:23,739 --> 00:25:25,959
You miss it, you don't
eat again till suppertime.
401
00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:27,961
What about lunch? What's lunch?
402
00:25:28,048 --> 00:25:30,572
It's the meal you
eat in the middle
of the day.
403
00:25:30,659 --> 00:25:32,835
That's funny, Mummy's
never mentioned it.
404
00:25:43,629 --> 00:25:45,544
Thank you, Sara.
405
00:25:45,631 --> 00:25:47,589
Well, well, well,
what a happy day
406
00:25:47,676 --> 00:25:49,112
this has turned
out to be.
407
00:25:49,199 --> 00:25:51,680
Miles has returned
triumphant from university,
408
00:25:51,767 --> 00:25:53,987
and our two lovebirds
are together again.
409
00:25:54,074 --> 00:25:55,379
I think a toast
is in order.
410
00:25:55,466 --> 00:25:56,990
Please, allow me.
411
00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,601
To Sara,
412
00:25:59,688 --> 00:26:02,256
only the sweetest flower
in all of Salem.
413
00:26:06,739 --> 00:26:08,349
[SPITS] What happened?
414
00:26:08,436 --> 00:26:10,656
I couldn't help myself!
415
00:26:10,743 --> 00:26:12,527
It was like something
had me by the wrist.
416
00:26:12,614 --> 00:26:14,747
MILES: Exactly!
417
00:26:14,834 --> 00:26:17,793
Why, just this very day,
the Mayor and Judge John
were talking about...
418
00:26:19,795 --> 00:26:20,927
Look!
419
00:26:21,014 --> 00:26:22,929
By the window!
A face!
420
00:26:23,756 --> 00:26:25,453
They're gone!
421
00:26:25,540 --> 00:26:26,889
Well, at least you got
a good look at them,
Parson.
422
00:26:26,976 --> 00:26:28,238
[THUNDER RUMBLING]
423
00:26:30,589 --> 00:26:31,633
Dear God!
424
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:34,505
I've been struck blind!
425
00:26:38,814 --> 00:26:41,948
NEWSBOY: Extra, extra!
Get your papers
here, sir!
426
00:26:42,035 --> 00:26:45,429
Parson Babcock
bewitched, bothered,
and bewildered!
427
00:26:45,516 --> 00:26:50,696
Extra, extra!
Parson Babcock bewitched,
bothered, and bewildered!
428
00:26:50,783 --> 00:26:52,611
[PLAYING HARPSICHORD]
429
00:26:59,792 --> 00:27:01,620
♪ Salem
430
00:27:04,361 --> 00:27:06,189
♪ Salem
431
00:27:08,757 --> 00:27:12,152
♪ I'm so down on my luck
432
00:27:14,633 --> 00:27:18,811
♪ Well, I been blinded
by a witch
433
00:27:19,768 --> 00:27:21,814
♪ And my mama
434
00:27:21,901 --> 00:27:24,207
♪ She's a mean ol' nasty... ♪
435
00:27:24,294 --> 00:27:25,687
[KNOCKING ON WINDOW]
436
00:27:25,774 --> 00:27:26,906
MRS. BABCOCK: Hey! Yes?
437
00:27:26,993 --> 00:27:28,081
Come on, you idiot!
438
00:27:28,168 --> 00:27:29,865
Oh, just one moment,
please.
439
00:27:29,952 --> 00:27:31,780
Get the lead out, lardass!
440
00:27:31,867 --> 00:27:34,087
I'm coming! The church is packed!
441
00:27:34,174 --> 00:27:35,915
We're gonna
make a killing!
442
00:27:36,002 --> 00:27:37,525
[TOLLING]
443
00:27:41,616 --> 00:27:44,184
JUDGE JOHN: This is
working out better
than I dreamed.
444
00:27:44,271 --> 00:27:47,578
The parson going blind?
It's a godsend!
445
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:50,233
[LAUGHING] He actually
believes it was a witch!
446
00:27:50,320 --> 00:27:51,974
Yes, but what if it was?
447
00:27:52,061 --> 00:27:54,455
Please, don't be
a complete idiot.
448
00:27:54,542 --> 00:27:56,457
We made this
whole thing up, remember?
449
00:27:56,544 --> 00:27:57,806
I'm not stupid,
you know?
450
00:27:57,893 --> 00:28:00,591
There are no such
things as witches.
451
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:03,377
Look at those fools,
almost praying for us
to take away their homes.
452
00:28:03,464 --> 00:28:05,292
Hello. [BOTH EXCLAIM]
453
00:28:06,162 --> 00:28:09,122
Oh! Hello.
454
00:28:09,209 --> 00:28:11,777
I do beg your pardon
for my sudden brashness,
455
00:28:11,864 --> 00:28:15,519
but I didn't hear
your gentle footsteps
coming upon us.
456
00:28:15,606 --> 00:28:17,826
Yeah, you nearly scared
the shit out of me.
457
00:28:17,913 --> 00:28:21,700
Please forgive my
ill-mannered friend.
458
00:28:21,787 --> 00:28:23,702
He was reared
by savages.
459
00:28:24,354 --> 00:28:25,834
How exciting.
460
00:28:26,792 --> 00:28:29,229
Well, listen, if you're
not doing anything later,
461
00:28:29,316 --> 00:28:30,839
would you like
to drop by my place?
462
00:28:30,926 --> 00:28:33,059
We could have some
lovely, delicious, edible...
463
00:28:33,146 --> 00:28:34,887
Mr. Mayor. [EXCLAIMS] Chocolates!
464
00:28:34,974 --> 00:28:36,715
Would you care
to accompany
465
00:28:36,802 --> 00:28:38,804
your family
to church today?
466
00:28:38,891 --> 00:28:40,719
We've just been
talking about
chocolates.
467
00:28:41,589 --> 00:28:43,417
What a lovely couple.
468
00:28:43,504 --> 00:28:46,725
Exceeded only
by the loveliness
of all of you.
469
00:28:46,812 --> 00:28:48,117
Please.
470
00:28:48,204 --> 00:28:49,858
Mind the puddle.
471
00:28:49,945 --> 00:28:50,729
Thank you.
472
00:28:59,389 --> 00:29:01,522
I'm fine!
I enjoy this!
473
00:29:04,177 --> 00:29:05,613
So good to be here.
474
00:29:05,700 --> 00:29:07,571
Oh, I'm delighted
to see you again.
475
00:29:08,616 --> 00:29:10,270
Parson.
476
00:29:10,357 --> 00:29:11,924
Oh, is that you,
Mrs. Fargate?
477
00:29:12,011 --> 00:29:13,186
[EXCLAIMING]
478
00:29:13,273 --> 00:29:15,841
Pay now, pray later!
479
00:29:15,928 --> 00:29:19,845
Mummy, shouldn't we wait
till after the services
to pass the plate?
480
00:29:19,932 --> 00:29:21,281
This is our
best day ever!
481
00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:22,761
We can't afford
to take any chances!
482
00:29:23,979 --> 00:29:25,807
Good morning, Parson.
483
00:29:25,894 --> 00:29:27,287
What on earth is this?
484
00:29:27,374 --> 00:29:28,941
It's my pussy.
485
00:29:29,028 --> 00:29:30,812
[EXCLAIMS] SARA: Come along,
Aunt Deliverance.
486
00:29:30,899 --> 00:29:32,901
We're holding up the line.
487
00:29:32,988 --> 00:29:34,773
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
488
00:29:42,693 --> 00:29:43,825
Welcome.
Take it,
489
00:29:44,391 --> 00:29:45,784
pass it down.
490
00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:55,402
Hi, Miles.
491
00:29:55,489 --> 00:29:56,795
Oh, I was just
looking for you.
492
00:30:02,061 --> 00:30:05,455
What, is he next
on your hit list?
493
00:30:05,542 --> 00:30:07,327
Nathaniel,
lower your voice, please!
494
00:30:07,414 --> 00:30:08,632
Why?
495
00:30:08,719 --> 00:30:10,069
Why shouldn't
the whole town know
496
00:30:10,156 --> 00:30:12,027
what kind of
a woman she is?
497
00:30:12,985 --> 00:30:14,900
Nathaniel, you're
embarrassing us.
498
00:30:15,509 --> 00:30:16,989
Me?
499
00:30:17,076 --> 00:30:19,905
I have nothing to be
embarrassed about!
500
00:30:24,997 --> 00:30:26,433
[FARTING]
501
00:30:29,305 --> 00:30:30,916
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
502
00:30:33,614 --> 00:30:35,703
Nathaniel, please!
503
00:30:35,790 --> 00:30:38,488
[STAMMERS]
l can't help myself.
504
00:30:40,926 --> 00:30:42,797
[CONTINUES FARTING]
505
00:30:44,930 --> 00:30:46,322
[RETCHING]
506
00:30:47,541 --> 00:30:49,195
[CONTINUES FARTING]
507
00:31:04,775 --> 00:31:06,038
[HORSES NEIGHING]
508
00:31:09,041 --> 00:31:10,869
[ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING]
509
00:31:16,265 --> 00:31:17,832
[PEOPLE EXCLAIMING]
510
00:31:36,024 --> 00:31:37,243
Good morning.
511
00:31:37,330 --> 00:31:38,897
CONGREGATION: Good Morning.
512
00:31:38,984 --> 00:31:42,204
And what a
beautiful morning
it is, I might add.
513
00:31:42,291 --> 00:31:45,991
First of all, I would
like to thank our
organist, Miss Porter,
514
00:31:46,861 --> 00:31:48,123
for the lovely music.
515
00:31:49,908 --> 00:31:51,039
Ah, thank you.
516
00:31:51,126 --> 00:31:52,867
WOMAN: Drunk again.
517
00:31:52,954 --> 00:31:56,958
Today, I have prepared
a most important sermon.
518
00:32:00,135 --> 00:32:01,658
Oh.
519
00:32:01,745 --> 00:32:03,747
Here, here.
Give it to me.
I'll prompt you.
520
00:32:06,141 --> 00:32:08,535
[WHISPERS]
"Something evil has
come over this town."
521
00:32:08,622 --> 00:32:11,755
Something evil has
come over this town.
522
00:32:11,842 --> 00:32:13,061
"Something so unbelievable..."
523
00:32:13,148 --> 00:32:16,108
Something so unbelievable...
524
00:32:16,195 --> 00:32:18,501
"...that I hesitate
to speak its name."
525
00:32:18,588 --> 00:32:19,981
...that I hesitate...
526
00:32:21,504 --> 00:32:23,028
"To speak its name."
527
00:32:23,115 --> 00:32:24,507
To speak...
528
00:32:24,594 --> 00:32:26,074
"Its name."
529
00:32:26,161 --> 00:32:27,249
Its. Name.
530
00:32:27,336 --> 00:32:28,598
Name.
531
00:32:28,685 --> 00:32:30,122
Get on with it,
you flaming asshole!
532
00:32:30,209 --> 00:32:32,254
Get on with it,
you flaming asshole!
533
00:32:32,341 --> 00:32:34,126
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
534
00:32:40,567 --> 00:32:43,265
He means witchcraft!
535
00:32:44,092 --> 00:32:45,615
[ALL GASPING]
536
00:32:46,138 --> 00:32:48,923
Right now, as I speak,
537
00:32:49,576 --> 00:32:51,317
there are sitting among us
538
00:32:52,318 --> 00:32:54,798
demons from hell!
539
00:32:57,149 --> 00:32:59,934
Posing as your loved ones.
540
00:33:01,283 --> 00:33:02,589
Sisters,
541
00:33:03,155 --> 00:33:04,199
brothers,
542
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,027
fathers,
543
00:33:07,159 --> 00:33:09,117
and mothers.
544
00:33:10,118 --> 00:33:13,034
Here to do
Satan's bidding!
545
00:33:15,689 --> 00:33:18,605
We must root them out
546
00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:24,437
and drive them back
to the fiery pit
547
00:33:24,524 --> 00:33:26,700
from which they came!
548
00:33:27,483 --> 00:33:29,007
You know what that means?
549
00:33:29,094 --> 00:33:30,443
CONGREGATION: Yes!
550
00:33:31,270 --> 00:33:32,793
Give me a B!
551
00:33:32,880 --> 00:33:34,012
ALL: B!
552
00:33:34,099 --> 00:33:35,752
Give me a U!
553
00:33:35,839 --> 00:33:36,840
ALL: U!
554
00:33:36,927 --> 00:33:38,103
Give me an R!
555
00:33:38,190 --> 00:33:39,321
ALL: R!
556
00:33:39,408 --> 00:33:40,409
Give me an N!
557
00:33:40,496 --> 00:33:41,541
ALL: N!
558
00:33:41,628 --> 00:33:43,847
What's that spell?
559
00:33:43,934 --> 00:33:45,023
MAN: Could I
buy a vowel?
560
00:33:46,894 --> 00:33:49,201
MRS. BABCOCK:
What's that spell?
561
00:33:52,421 --> 00:33:54,641
Oh, come on,
give it a shot!
562
00:33:54,728 --> 00:33:57,122
B-U-R-N!
563
00:34:01,300 --> 00:34:03,041
Is it "witch"?
564
00:34:03,128 --> 00:34:05,086
MAN: Yeah!WOMAN 1: Yeah.
565
00:34:07,219 --> 00:34:10,048
No, it's not "witch,"
you idiot!
566
00:34:10,787 --> 00:34:12,050
WOMAN 2: Nice try.
567
00:34:12,659 --> 00:34:16,141
It's "burn!"
568
00:34:16,228 --> 00:34:18,012
ALL: Oh!
569
00:34:18,099 --> 00:34:19,927
And what are we gonna do?
570
00:34:20,014 --> 00:34:21,233
ALL: Burn!
571
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,408
What are we gonna do?
572
00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:23,713
ALL: Burn 'em!
573
00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:26,107
Well, what are you
waiting for?
574
00:34:26,194 --> 00:34:31,243
Get out there and
barbecue the bastards!
575
00:34:32,026 --> 00:34:33,201
[ALL SHOUTING]
576
00:34:51,567 --> 00:34:53,047
Right here!
577
00:34:54,179 --> 00:34:55,658
This is the place!
578
00:34:56,050 --> 00:34:57,095
Get her!
579
00:35:02,491 --> 00:35:05,146
WOMAN: I'm innocent.
No, please! No, no!
580
00:35:07,322 --> 00:35:10,020
Elvira Hutchinson,
581
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:14,460
you are hereby
ordered to stand
trial for witchcraft!
582
00:35:14,547 --> 00:35:17,202
I'm innocent!
I'm innocent!
583
00:35:17,289 --> 00:35:19,204
Did you say
Elvira Hutchinson?
584
00:35:19,291 --> 00:35:20,944
Yes!
585
00:35:21,031 --> 00:35:23,208
Oh, well, I'm
Constance Van Buren.
586
00:35:23,686 --> 00:35:24,905
Ah.
587
00:35:24,992 --> 00:35:26,036
Oh...
588
00:35:29,388 --> 00:35:31,520
I know that
I speak for everyone
589
00:35:31,607 --> 00:35:34,871
when I offer you
our humblest apologies.
590
00:35:34,958 --> 00:35:37,483
Oh, that's all right.
591
00:35:37,570 --> 00:35:40,442
These things happen.
592
00:35:40,529 --> 00:35:44,533
And perhaps I can
be of service to you.
593
00:35:44,620 --> 00:35:47,275
I know where
the Hutchinson place is!
594
00:35:47,362 --> 00:35:49,016
Follow me!
595
00:35:49,712 --> 00:35:51,192
[CROWD CLAMORING]
596
00:35:54,282 --> 00:35:55,979
CONSTANCE:
I swear she's a witch!
597
00:35:56,806 --> 00:35:58,243
What about the trial?
598
00:35:58,330 --> 00:36:00,114
I'm scared.
What if they're
found innocent?
599
00:36:00,201 --> 00:36:03,204
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Not with you
defending them.
600
00:36:03,465 --> 00:36:04,771
Stand up.
601
00:36:05,511 --> 00:36:07,165
Raise your right hand.
602
00:36:07,252 --> 00:36:10,429
By the power
vested in me,
Judge Samuel John,
603
00:36:10,516 --> 00:36:13,171
I hereby appoint you
public defender.
604
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,304
Public defender?
605
00:36:16,391 --> 00:36:18,176
You can't do that!
I don't know anything
about the law!
606
00:36:19,002 --> 00:36:20,221
[LAUGHING] I know.
607
00:36:21,353 --> 00:36:25,313
You, a public defender.
608
00:36:26,619 --> 00:36:28,229
[BOTH LAUGHING]
609
00:36:33,234 --> 00:36:34,714
And you, a judge.
610
00:36:40,372 --> 00:36:41,590
[JUDGE JOHN SLAPPING]
611
00:36:55,996 --> 00:36:57,258
Ah, Mrs. Ogelthorpe.
612
00:36:57,345 --> 00:36:59,042
Come along, girl,
it isn't every day
613
00:36:59,129 --> 00:37:02,307
my granddaughter
has her 16th birthday.
614
00:37:02,394 --> 00:37:05,310
I really think
you're gonna like what
I did with this cake.
615
00:37:14,188 --> 00:37:17,104
I designed it especially
with you in mind.
616
00:37:22,152 --> 00:37:24,111
Why, it's...
617
00:37:24,198 --> 00:37:25,591
[SCREAMING]
618
00:37:25,678 --> 00:37:26,940
[GASPS]
619
00:37:39,082 --> 00:37:42,651
SARA: And then she screamed,
ran out of the shop,
and got the mayor.
620
00:37:42,738 --> 00:37:44,305
MILES: What did he do?
621
00:37:44,392 --> 00:37:47,090
He asked me if I could
make one for his daughter.
622
00:37:47,177 --> 00:37:48,744
I'm telling you,
it happened, Miles.
623
00:37:48,831 --> 00:37:51,094
And then the whole
shop changed back.
624
00:37:51,181 --> 00:37:52,487
Are you sure you
didn't imagine it?
625
00:37:52,574 --> 00:37:54,359
No, I didn't imagine it!
626
00:37:54,446 --> 00:37:55,969
It really happened!
627
00:37:56,056 --> 00:37:57,927
Oh! It was just awful!
628
00:37:58,014 --> 00:37:59,277
[LAUGHING]
629
00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:01,583
What's so funny?
630
00:38:01,670 --> 00:38:04,325
I was just thinking,
I'd sure like to have seen
old Mrs. Ogelthorpe's face
631
00:38:04,412 --> 00:38:05,848
when she opened up
that cake box
632
00:38:05,935 --> 00:38:08,024
and found that
great, big...
633
00:38:08,111 --> 00:38:10,113
Miles, don't you dare!
634
00:38:10,636 --> 00:38:12,333
Okay, I'm sorry.
635
00:38:12,812 --> 00:38:15,075
Miles, I'm scared.
636
00:38:15,162 --> 00:38:17,295
They're gonna start
putting people
on trial tomorrow,
637
00:38:17,382 --> 00:38:19,122
and I'm afraid something
terrible's gonna happen.
638
00:38:19,209 --> 00:38:20,907
Sara, don't worry.
639
00:38:20,994 --> 00:38:23,170
There are laws
in this colony
that protect people.
640
00:38:23,257 --> 00:38:26,608
Besides, Judge John is
far too smart to be taken in
by all this hysteria.
641
00:38:26,695 --> 00:38:28,741
You think so? Believe me, Sara,
642
00:38:28,828 --> 00:38:31,309
a few years from now,
no one's gonna ever remember
643
00:38:31,396 --> 00:38:33,093
the Salem witch trials.
644
00:38:34,790 --> 00:38:36,488
I hope you're right.
645
00:38:38,098 --> 00:38:39,360
Hey, look.
646
00:38:39,447 --> 00:38:41,014
It's our tree!
647
00:38:41,101 --> 00:38:42,407
Oh, they're still here.
648
00:38:42,494 --> 00:38:44,496
I remember the day
we carved them.
649
00:38:46,541 --> 00:38:49,065
I remember something
else that day.
650
00:38:49,152 --> 00:38:51,503
It was the first time
you ever kissed me.
651
00:38:51,590 --> 00:38:53,374
That's funny,
I don't seem to
remember that.
652
00:38:57,378 --> 00:38:58,945
Was it something like this?
653
00:39:02,470 --> 00:39:03,645
No.
654
00:39:03,732 --> 00:39:06,082
Well, then how about
like this?
655
00:39:10,739 --> 00:39:12,088
Uh-huh.
656
00:39:12,567 --> 00:39:13,699
Sara.
657
00:39:13,786 --> 00:39:15,048
Yes?
658
00:39:15,135 --> 00:39:16,441
Will you have my baby? [GASPS]
659
00:39:16,528 --> 00:39:18,225
[GROANS]
660
00:39:18,312 --> 00:39:20,445
I told you I didn't
like it when you
talk like that.
661
00:39:20,532 --> 00:39:22,360
[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
No, Sara, wait!
662
00:39:23,491 --> 00:39:25,667
I meant after
we were married.
663
00:39:28,409 --> 00:39:30,977
[PANTING]
664
00:39:31,064 --> 00:39:33,240
You will marry me,
won't you, Sara?
665
00:39:35,111 --> 00:39:37,505
Oh, Miles, of course
I'll marry you!
666
00:39:37,592 --> 00:39:38,941
[GROANS]
667
00:39:40,203 --> 00:39:42,336
I'm sorry, Miles,
did I hurt you?
668
00:39:42,423 --> 00:39:45,078
Oh, I don't know
if I'll make a very good
husband after today,
669
00:39:45,165 --> 00:39:46,819
but I'll try.
670
00:39:46,906 --> 00:39:49,474
Nonsense, Miles,
you'll make
a wonderful husband.
671
00:39:49,561 --> 00:39:52,477
And we'll have
a wonderful life
here in America.
672
00:39:52,564 --> 00:39:55,654
And our children will
know what it's like
to taste freedom,
673
00:39:55,741 --> 00:40:00,006
to live in a land
where everyone has the
right to be who they are,
674
00:40:00,093 --> 00:40:03,052
where there is liberty
and justice for all!
675
00:40:04,358 --> 00:40:05,620
Guilty!
676
00:40:05,707 --> 00:40:07,013
I second that.
677
00:40:07,100 --> 00:40:08,580
But you're my lawyer!
678
00:40:08,667 --> 00:40:10,277
What? Oh.
679
00:40:10,364 --> 00:40:11,800
[EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST]
680
00:40:11,887 --> 00:40:15,804
Your Honor, I'd like
to move for an appeal.
681
00:40:15,891 --> 00:40:17,676
Appeal denied!
682
00:40:18,764 --> 00:40:20,418
Well, we gave it
our best shot.
683
00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:22,637
Will the defendant
please rise?
684
00:40:25,292 --> 00:40:29,557
Joshua Tupper,
you have been found
guilty of witchcraft!
685
00:40:30,993 --> 00:40:32,255
However,
686
00:40:33,605 --> 00:40:35,998
since this
is your first offense,
687
00:40:36,085 --> 00:40:37,391
I'm going to be lenient.
688
00:40:37,478 --> 00:40:39,524
[CROWD EXCLAIMING
IN DISAPPOINTMENT]
689
00:40:41,656 --> 00:40:45,094
I hereby order the
accused to be burned
at the stake!
690
00:40:45,660 --> 00:40:46,705
No fine.
691
00:40:46,792 --> 00:40:48,576
No! No!
692
00:40:50,230 --> 00:40:51,623
[SCREAMING]
693
00:40:52,624 --> 00:40:53,625
JUDGE JOHN: Everyone,
sit down!
694
00:40:53,712 --> 00:40:55,453
Deputy! Where's my deputy?
695
00:40:56,932 --> 00:40:58,934
Deputy Fife reporting
for duty, Your Honor.
696
00:40:59,021 --> 00:41:01,633
I'd like some order
in this courtroom.
697
00:41:01,720 --> 00:41:02,895
Well, consider it done!
698
00:41:02,982 --> 00:41:04,636
Well, do it. Practically done.
699
00:41:04,723 --> 00:41:05,854
Do it!
700
00:41:05,941 --> 00:41:07,769
All right, calm down!
Calm down!
701
00:41:07,856 --> 00:41:11,469
The show is over!
O-V-E-R, over!
702
00:41:11,991 --> 00:41:13,296
Quiet!
703
00:41:13,383 --> 00:41:15,473
All right,
you asked for it!
704
00:41:17,649 --> 00:41:18,563
[CAWING]
705
00:41:21,435 --> 00:41:23,611
Nip, nip, nip it
in the bud!
706
00:41:26,048 --> 00:41:27,528
Good thing I had
my bullet.
707
00:41:29,617 --> 00:41:30,705
[PEOPLE SHOUTING]
708
00:41:35,754 --> 00:41:37,407
[SCREAMING]
709
00:41:42,674 --> 00:41:44,023
[WAILING]
710
00:41:46,721 --> 00:41:48,593
Step right up!
Test your strength!
711
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,160
Come on, sir.
Get out here and show
us what you can do.
712
00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:54,686
[SCREAMING]
713
00:41:59,778 --> 00:42:01,170
Hey, that witch-dunking
is great.
714
00:42:01,257 --> 00:42:03,042
Did you try it?
715
00:42:03,129 --> 00:42:06,132
You know, not only
are we making a fortune,
716
00:42:06,219 --> 00:42:09,483
but the people are having
such a good time.
717
00:42:09,570 --> 00:42:11,180
Hello, Mrs. Johnson!
718
00:42:11,267 --> 00:42:12,747
Hello.
719
00:42:12,834 --> 00:42:14,314
[MRS. JOHNSON SCREAMING]
720
00:42:15,271 --> 00:42:16,708
[GAGGING]
721
00:42:18,274 --> 00:42:20,581
How do they bend
her like that?
722
00:42:21,713 --> 00:42:22,757
No idea.
723
00:42:23,932 --> 00:42:26,892
ALL: ♪ Someone's burning,
my Lord
724
00:42:28,241 --> 00:42:30,548
♪ Kumbaya
725
00:42:32,288 --> 00:42:35,727
♪ Someone's burning, my Lord
726
00:42:36,771 --> 00:42:38,947
♪ Kumbaya
727
00:42:39,905 --> 00:42:44,736
♪ Oh, Lord, Kumbaya ♪
728
00:42:47,913 --> 00:42:49,828
MRS. BABCOCK: Where
the hell is everybody?
729
00:42:49,915 --> 00:42:52,308
BABCOCK: Oh, they're
all on holiday.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving.
730
00:42:52,395 --> 00:42:54,310
So what?
731
00:42:54,397 --> 00:42:55,660
Well, I told you,
we're having it with
the Indians this year,
732
00:42:55,747 --> 00:42:57,879
don't you remember? Indians!
733
00:42:57,966 --> 00:42:59,620
What moron
thought that up?
734
00:42:59,707 --> 00:43:02,101
Well, I did. I'm hoping
to convert a few.
735
00:43:02,188 --> 00:43:04,103
Well, if you do,
maybe we can
736
00:43:04,190 --> 00:43:06,192
throw 'em a few love
beads and get 'em to
fork over Rhode Island.
737
00:43:06,279 --> 00:43:07,672
[LAUGHING]
738
00:43:07,759 --> 00:43:10,109
Oh, pee-yew!
739
00:43:11,327 --> 00:43:13,329
Oh, you rode me
through horse shit!
740
00:43:13,416 --> 00:43:14,635
Sorry, Mummy.
741
00:43:14,722 --> 00:43:16,071
Well, don't just
stand there!
742
00:43:16,158 --> 00:43:18,334
Come on, get me
to the water pump!
743
00:43:18,421 --> 00:43:20,859
Come on, mush! Mush!
[EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST]
744
00:43:24,732 --> 00:43:28,518
The game, my friend,
has finally ended.
745
00:43:29,258 --> 00:43:31,652
The last deed is ours,
746
00:43:31,739 --> 00:43:35,525
and the sweet fragrance
of victory fills the air!
747
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:36,962
[BOTTLE POPS] [UPTON GROANS]
748
00:43:37,049 --> 00:43:38,616
By this time next week,
749
00:43:38,703 --> 00:43:41,096
our bank in Boston
will have sent us
the money
750
00:43:41,183 --> 00:43:42,663
to begin construction.
751
00:43:44,796 --> 00:43:47,668
God! I feel so good!
752
00:43:47,755 --> 00:43:51,585
I think I'll go out and
have somebody whipped.
753
00:43:51,672 --> 00:43:54,588
No. No,
on second thought,
754
00:43:54,675 --> 00:43:56,198
I'll whip them myself.
755
00:43:56,285 --> 00:43:58,026
I could use the exercise.
756
00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:01,726
I trust I can
leave you alone.
757
00:44:01,813 --> 00:44:02,944
What?
758
00:44:03,031 --> 00:44:04,293
[THUDDING]
759
00:44:06,034 --> 00:44:07,340
Nothing.
760
00:44:10,909 --> 00:44:12,214
[GRUNTS]
761
00:44:13,825 --> 00:44:16,175
Oh. Oh...
762
00:44:16,871 --> 00:44:17,872
Ah...
763
00:44:19,482 --> 00:44:21,963
Sorry, I didn't
hear you come in.
764
00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:23,661
I wanted to surprise you.
765
00:44:23,748 --> 00:44:26,272
Me? Yes, you are the
mayor, aren't you?
766
00:44:26,359 --> 00:44:28,361
Well, yes, as a
matter of fact, I am. Hmm.
767
00:44:28,448 --> 00:44:30,537
I was just down there
on official business.
768
00:44:30,624 --> 00:44:33,845
Ah, yes, well,
I too am here
on official business.
769
00:44:33,932 --> 00:44:35,673
Thank you.
770
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,153
There is someone
I would like to
accuse of witchcraft.
771
00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:42,810
Her name is Sara Lee,
the bakeshop girl.
I believe she's a witch.
772
00:44:42,897 --> 00:44:45,683
[LAUGHS] Well, she
doesn't have any land.
773
00:44:45,770 --> 00:44:49,338
[STAMMERS] I mean,
she's just a poor,
little orphan girl.
774
00:44:49,425 --> 00:44:51,471
You're not trying
to protect her,
are you?
775
00:44:51,558 --> 00:44:52,733
Why, people might
get the wrong idea
776
00:44:52,820 --> 00:44:54,692
and think that
you are a witch.
777
00:44:54,779 --> 00:44:55,954
What?
778
00:44:56,041 --> 00:44:58,826
And you're much
too cute to burn.
779
00:44:58,913 --> 00:45:01,133
[LAUGHING]
Yes, I am. Mmm-hmm.
780
00:45:01,220 --> 00:45:03,526
Burn? Wait a minute!
781
00:45:03,613 --> 00:45:06,442
They can't burn me!
I'm the mayor!
782
00:45:06,529 --> 00:45:07,705
They won't burn me!
783
00:45:12,492 --> 00:45:14,624
I think you'd
better read that.
784
00:45:14,712 --> 00:45:15,800
What?
785
00:45:18,716 --> 00:45:21,588
It says,
"Salem Brick Company."
786
00:45:21,675 --> 00:45:23,372
No, the other side.
787
00:45:25,897 --> 00:45:29,596
[GASPS] "You're next." Me?
788
00:45:29,683 --> 00:45:32,033
Oh, no, [HYPERVENTILATES]
that's not possible!
789
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,689
You've gotta help me!
Please! I'll do
anything you say!
790
00:45:36,777 --> 00:45:37,996
Here, sign this.
791
00:45:38,083 --> 00:45:39,606
Sure.
792
00:45:42,261 --> 00:45:43,741
There.
793
00:45:43,828 --> 00:45:46,352
Oh, you are such
a very brave man!
794
00:45:46,439 --> 00:45:49,094
I am? Oh, yes, you are.
795
00:45:49,181 --> 00:45:51,749
And now, I'd better
get these papers
over to the mob.
796
00:45:51,836 --> 00:45:53,838
Oh, I mean,
the committee.
[LAUGHS]
797
00:45:53,925 --> 00:45:55,230
Kiss, kiss.
798
00:45:55,970 --> 00:45:57,363
Wait.
799
00:45:58,886 --> 00:46:00,409
I'm not doing
anything later.
800
00:46:00,496 --> 00:46:02,760
Mmm, that's right.
801
00:46:07,155 --> 00:46:11,420
[GROWLING]
I think she likes me.
802
00:46:11,507 --> 00:46:13,422
[ALL SHOUTING]
803
00:46:16,034 --> 00:46:19,211
Sara! Sara, just get
a few things together.
804
00:46:19,298 --> 00:46:21,169
We have got to
get out of here!
805
00:46:21,256 --> 00:46:23,911
Miles, what are
you talking about?
I'm not going anywhere.
806
00:46:23,998 --> 00:46:27,219
They are coming
to get you,
don't you understand?
807
00:46:27,306 --> 00:46:29,047
You've been named a witch!
808
00:46:29,134 --> 00:46:30,831
Miles, don't be ridiculous.
809
00:46:30,918 --> 00:46:32,833
Everyone in
this town knows me.
810
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,792
[ALL CONTINUE SHOUTING]
811
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:37,751
Hold it! Hold it!
812
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:42,843
I've never hurt a soul.
These people are my friends.
813
00:46:42,930 --> 00:46:47,500
MAN: Sara Lee, you
are hereby ordered to
stand trial for witchcraft!
814
00:46:47,587 --> 00:46:49,284
[CROWD SHOUTING IN AGREEMENT]
815
00:46:52,331 --> 00:46:54,637
Oh, look, look,
you stay here.
816
00:46:54,724 --> 00:46:57,902
I'll try to
talk to them.
817
00:46:57,989 --> 00:47:01,949
People of Salem!
People of Salem!
Listen to me! Listen to me!
818
00:47:02,036 --> 00:47:05,779
I implore you!
Think about what
you're about to do!
819
00:47:05,866 --> 00:47:07,781
Now, has there
ever been anything
about Sara Lee
820
00:47:07,868 --> 00:47:09,827
that was the least
bit suspicious?
821
00:47:10,610 --> 00:47:11,959
[CATS MEOWING]
822
00:47:12,046 --> 00:47:13,308
[ALL GASPING]
823
00:47:20,881 --> 00:47:23,623
Wait, wait, wait,
wait! I know what
you're all thinking.
824
00:47:23,710 --> 00:47:26,060
[STAMMERS] You're
thinking you all saw
a bunch of black cats
825
00:47:26,147 --> 00:47:27,583
just run out
of that house.
826
00:47:27,670 --> 00:47:29,498
[CROWD AGREEING]
827
00:47:29,585 --> 00:47:31,239
Yeah! Yeah, well,
that's Sara Lee.
She's such a kidder.
828
00:47:32,153 --> 00:47:33,851
[CROWD SHOUTING]
829
00:47:33,938 --> 00:47:35,896
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
830
00:47:36,331 --> 00:47:38,725
I am a man of God,
831
00:47:38,812 --> 00:47:41,380
a graduate of
Harvard Divinity School.
832
00:47:41,467 --> 00:47:43,686
Don't you think I'd know
a witch if I saw one?
833
00:47:47,690 --> 00:47:49,388
[SCREAMING]
834
00:47:52,043 --> 00:47:55,437
If she's not a witch,
then what do
you call that?
835
00:47:55,524 --> 00:47:56,961
[CROWD PROTESTING]
836
00:47:57,048 --> 00:47:58,005
A miracle?
837
00:47:59,050 --> 00:48:00,616
Miles?
838
00:48:02,009 --> 00:48:03,576
[EXCLAIMS]
839
00:48:04,446 --> 00:48:05,970
Miles, help me.
840
00:48:07,885 --> 00:48:09,277
Let's get her!
841
00:48:09,364 --> 00:48:10,626
[CROWD AGREEING]
842
00:48:11,149 --> 00:48:13,368
[EXCLAIMING]
843
00:48:20,114 --> 00:48:21,333
No!
844
00:48:26,729 --> 00:48:29,210
MAN: There she is!
Get her!
845
00:48:42,049 --> 00:48:43,181
Yeah, come on.
846
00:48:43,964 --> 00:48:45,705
Enjoy it while
it lasts.
847
00:48:45,792 --> 00:48:47,315
Come Thanksgiving...
[EXCLAIMS]
848
00:48:48,708 --> 00:48:50,144
[LAUGHS]
849
00:48:54,148 --> 00:48:55,976
[FARTING]
850
00:48:58,022 --> 00:48:59,632
Just a minute.
851
00:48:59,719 --> 00:49:01,895
I'd like to have
a word with you.
852
00:49:03,244 --> 00:49:05,116
I'm sure Abigail
needs my help
with dinner.
853
00:49:05,203 --> 00:49:09,120
Uh, she's not home.
It's just the two of us.
854
00:49:09,207 --> 00:49:11,426
I'm really not in the
mood for this, Nathaniel.
855
00:49:11,513 --> 00:49:13,515
Oh, who are
you kidding?
856
00:49:13,602 --> 00:49:16,736
You've been after me
since the day you
walked in this front door.
857
00:49:16,823 --> 00:49:18,390
Get out of my way.
858
00:49:18,477 --> 00:49:21,697
Oh, come on!
I've seen the way
you look at me.
859
00:49:21,784 --> 00:49:25,353
Now look, a real
man like me is
kind of hard to resist.
860
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:29,662
Come on. Come on,
I never met a bird yet
I couldn't have.
861
00:49:41,891 --> 00:49:43,067
Oh, my God.
862
00:49:44,459 --> 00:49:45,983
You're beautiful!
863
00:49:49,203 --> 00:49:51,684
Are you alone
or with someone?
864
00:49:51,771 --> 00:49:54,861
My name's Nathaniel.
I'm an Aries.
865
00:49:56,689 --> 00:49:58,952
Oh, what a tail. Oh!
866
00:50:01,172 --> 00:50:04,044
I demand to see her!
We're engaged!
Have you no heart?
867
00:50:04,131 --> 00:50:07,178
No visitors.
Judge's orders!
868
00:50:07,265 --> 00:50:09,615
That's the last time
I'm telling you!
869
00:50:15,664 --> 00:50:17,579
[BELL RINGING]
870
00:50:18,667 --> 00:50:23,107
8:00 and all's well!
871
00:50:23,194 --> 00:50:25,152
[BOTH ARGUING]
872
00:50:28,547 --> 00:50:31,593
8:00 and all's...
873
00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:33,682
[WOMAN SCREAMING] [GUN FIRES]
874
00:50:33,769 --> 00:50:34,901
...well!
875
00:50:37,295 --> 00:50:41,125
8:00
and all's well!
876
00:50:41,212 --> 00:50:44,911
WOMAN: It's 8:05,
you asshole!
877
00:50:44,998 --> 00:50:48,697
TOWN CRIER: 8:05
and all's well!
878
00:50:54,051 --> 00:50:56,096
[COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYING]
879
00:50:59,186 --> 00:51:02,059
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
880
00:51:15,333 --> 00:51:19,163
Come on,
don't be gentle!
Use force!
881
00:51:19,250 --> 00:51:20,773
Use the vegetables!
882
00:51:27,301 --> 00:51:30,565
Bruises, I want
to see bruises!
883
00:51:30,652 --> 00:51:33,046
A bottle of champagne,
and make it the
best you got.
884
00:51:36,223 --> 00:51:37,833
[LAUGHS]
885
00:51:40,271 --> 00:51:42,186
Hello, lovey.
886
00:51:42,273 --> 00:51:45,580
Widow Chastity!
I was just thinking
about you.
887
00:51:45,667 --> 00:51:49,193
I'm sure you were.
And I bet you
was thinkin',
888
00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,934
"I wish Widow Chastity
were here,
889
00:51:52,021 --> 00:51:55,112
"so I could pay back
all my gambling debts
890
00:51:55,199 --> 00:51:57,592
"and have myself
a little peace of mind."
891
00:51:57,679 --> 00:52:00,943
Uh, well, not
exactly, but, uh...
892
00:52:01,030 --> 00:52:02,989
But you'll get
your money back,
I promise.
893
00:52:03,076 --> 00:52:05,818
[LAUGHS] You said
that the last time.
894
00:52:05,905 --> 00:52:09,561
I did? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Well, I was lying that time.
895
00:52:09,648 --> 00:52:11,476
[BOTH LAUGHING]
896
00:52:11,563 --> 00:52:13,913
It's not nice
to lie to people.
897
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:15,219
I know.
898
00:52:15,306 --> 00:52:17,221
Someone's feelings
could get hurt.
899
00:52:17,308 --> 00:52:19,614
[GROANING] Okay.
900
00:52:19,701 --> 00:52:21,790
[STAMMERS] Listen,
you'll get the money.
901
00:52:21,877 --> 00:52:23,575
The judge and I,
we got a big
scheme cooked up.
902
00:52:23,662 --> 00:52:25,359
We're gonna make
a lot of money! Ah!
903
00:52:25,446 --> 00:52:30,234
Well, you tell the widow
lady all about it, lovey.
904
00:52:30,321 --> 00:52:31,887
[BOTH ARGUING]
905
00:52:37,676 --> 00:52:39,808
[GROANS]
I swear it's the truth.
906
00:52:39,895 --> 00:52:41,245
I got the deeds
back at my house.
907
00:52:41,332 --> 00:52:43,290
If you like,
we could cut you in.
908
00:52:43,377 --> 00:52:46,685
Oh, well, that's very
nice of you, dear.
909
00:52:46,772 --> 00:52:47,903
[GROANS]
910
00:52:47,990 --> 00:52:49,557
I shall give that
some thought.
911
00:52:49,644 --> 00:52:51,603
[GRUNTING] There go
my piano lessons.
912
00:52:54,127 --> 00:52:55,998
This one's on
the house, lovey.
913
00:52:56,085 --> 00:52:59,872
Oh, thanks.But you make sure
they don't burn me.
914
00:52:59,959 --> 00:53:04,355
Don't worry about it.
The burnings are over.
Sara Lee's the last one.
915
00:53:04,442 --> 00:53:06,487
They're gonna
burn Sara Lee?
916
00:53:06,574 --> 00:53:09,229
Yeah. What's your problem?
What is she, your
daughter or something?
917
00:53:09,316 --> 00:53:10,970
[LAUGHING] JUDGE JOHN: Put me down!
918
00:53:11,057 --> 00:53:12,319
Whoa, look out!
919
00:53:16,367 --> 00:53:19,326
JUDGE JOHN: Did you see
that? Did you see that?
She did it again!
920
00:53:24,462 --> 00:53:27,682
That little blonde
is tough.
921
00:53:31,469 --> 00:53:33,819
Nathaniel, supper's ready!
922
00:53:33,906 --> 00:53:35,908
[TURKEYS GOBBLING]
923
00:53:35,995 --> 00:53:37,214
Nathaniel?
924
00:53:41,261 --> 00:53:44,177
NATHANIEL: I just
want you to know this
isn't a one-night stand.
925
00:53:49,661 --> 00:53:52,533
You know,
I just can't take
this sneaking around.
926
00:53:53,795 --> 00:53:55,797
We've just... We've
just gotta tell her.
927
00:53:56,798 --> 00:53:59,018
We've just
gotta tell her.
928
00:53:59,105 --> 00:54:00,672
[GOBBLES]
929
00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:02,195
We've gotta.
930
00:54:07,592 --> 00:54:10,334
[ALL CHATTERING]
931
00:54:20,648 --> 00:54:22,433
There.
932
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,870
Now everyone will
know who you are.
933
00:54:24,957 --> 00:54:27,438
Ah, honored brothers,
934
00:54:27,525 --> 00:54:30,267
we want you to eat,
drink, and be merry.
935
00:54:30,354 --> 00:54:33,922
And please remember,
everyone here is
your friend.
936
00:54:37,665 --> 00:54:41,278
[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]
937
00:54:52,985 --> 00:54:54,769
[CHANTING]
938
00:54:57,511 --> 00:54:59,557
BABCOCK: Everyone,
please be seated.
939
00:54:59,644 --> 00:55:01,472
Let's begin
our special meal.
940
00:55:04,213 --> 00:55:07,434
Before we begin,
please...
941
00:55:08,609 --> 00:55:10,785
Let's give thanks
to our Lord.
942
00:55:14,223 --> 00:55:15,529
In the beginning,
943
00:55:17,575 --> 00:55:19,490
God created the Earth.
944
00:55:20,447 --> 00:55:22,841
[CHANTING IN NATIVE LANGUAGE]
945
00:55:25,931 --> 00:55:27,411
What is he doing?
946
00:55:27,498 --> 00:55:30,892
He's holding up a pipe,
and our damn dinner!
947
00:55:32,546 --> 00:55:35,984
Ah, I think what
our red brother
wants us to do
948
00:55:36,071 --> 00:55:38,247
is to smoke the pipe
of peace with him.
949
00:55:44,123 --> 00:55:45,994
[COUGHS]
950
00:55:48,345 --> 00:55:49,476
[INHALES]
951
00:55:50,608 --> 00:55:52,305
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
952
00:55:52,392 --> 00:55:54,263
Oh, I get it.
953
00:55:54,351 --> 00:55:58,659
What he wants us to
do is to take a puff,
hold the smoke in.
954
00:55:58,746 --> 00:56:01,923
Obviously, it's a symbol
of one's inner strength.
955
00:56:02,010 --> 00:56:06,058
Oh, here, give me that!
I'll show you
inner strength.
956
00:56:18,679 --> 00:56:20,507
[BOTH EXCLAIMING]
957
00:56:31,431 --> 00:56:32,389
Happy Thanksgiving.
958
00:56:34,478 --> 00:56:36,262
Pew! What is this?
959
00:56:36,349 --> 00:56:38,395
Same thing we served
last Thanksgiving.
960
00:56:38,482 --> 00:56:40,440
The very same
thing! [LAUGHING]
961
00:56:41,485 --> 00:56:42,877
Ugh!
962
00:56:45,053 --> 00:56:46,925
[CROWD WHOOPING]
963
00:56:48,013 --> 00:56:49,884
[LOUIE LOUIEPLAYING]
964
00:57:14,256 --> 00:57:16,868
I sure hope
the Parson doesn't
make it rain in here.
965
00:57:16,955 --> 00:57:19,479
[SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE]
966
00:57:33,624 --> 00:57:36,191
I think you're right.
967
00:57:36,278 --> 00:57:39,107
Oh, I gotta get
this food over to Sara.
She's probably starving.
968
00:57:39,194 --> 00:57:41,501
Uh, bye.
969
00:57:48,987 --> 00:57:50,467
So long, Chief.
970
00:57:50,554 --> 00:57:52,381
[SPEAKS NATIVE LANGUAGE]
971
00:57:52,469 --> 00:57:55,515
You just say
when, Chief.
I know how!
972
00:57:55,602 --> 00:57:57,778
[EXCLAIMS]
973
00:57:59,127 --> 00:58:01,260
MILES: Psst! Sara.
Sara, it's me.
974
00:58:01,347 --> 00:58:04,393
Oh, Miles, I'm so
glad to see you.
975
00:58:04,481 --> 00:58:06,134
Oh, Sara,
are you all right?
976
00:58:06,221 --> 00:58:08,397
No. What's the matter?
977
00:58:08,485 --> 00:58:10,138
I'm in jail.
978
00:58:10,225 --> 00:58:12,924
Oh. Well, besides that,
are you all right?
979
00:58:13,011 --> 00:58:16,580
I guess so. Miles,
what am I gonna do?
980
00:58:16,667 --> 00:58:18,582
I don't know.
981
00:58:18,669 --> 00:58:21,323
But there's gotta be
a way here to prove
that you're innocent.
982
00:58:21,410 --> 00:58:22,803
You are innocent,
aren't you?
983
00:58:23,587 --> 00:58:25,676
Of course I am!
984
00:58:25,763 --> 00:58:29,549
I can't explain what
happened at the house,
but I didn't do it!
985
00:58:29,636 --> 00:58:32,552
Please believe me. Oh, Sara,
I believe you.
986
00:58:32,639 --> 00:58:35,381
Things are just not
what they seem to be.
987
00:58:35,468 --> 00:58:38,471
Maybe all the others
were innocent, too.
988
00:58:38,558 --> 00:58:40,821
Well, I'm not gonna rest
until I find out the truth.
989
00:58:40,908 --> 00:58:42,606
No matter how
long it takes.
990
00:58:42,693 --> 00:58:44,651
You've only got 36 hours.
991
00:58:44,738 --> 00:58:46,653
Wow, I better
get going.
992
00:58:46,740 --> 00:58:48,742
Oh, wait a minute.
993
00:58:48,829 --> 00:58:51,049
Here. It's turkey.
994
00:58:52,746 --> 00:58:53,965
Miles? Yes?
995
00:58:54,487 --> 00:58:55,836
I love you.
996
00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:57,577
Oh, I love you,
too, Sara.
997
00:59:02,887 --> 00:59:04,758
Abigail.
998
00:59:04,845 --> 00:59:06,804
There's something
[STAMMERING]
I gotta tell you,
999
00:59:06,891 --> 00:59:09,676
and I can't keep it
from you any longer.
1000
00:59:09,763 --> 00:59:12,636
Now, Nathaniel, you
just sit right down here,
1001
00:59:12,723 --> 00:59:14,507
and you get
ready to eat,
1002
00:59:14,594 --> 00:59:16,988
and we can discuss
it over dinner. [LAUGHS]
1003
00:59:17,858 --> 00:59:19,730
Thank you, dear.
1004
00:59:19,817 --> 00:59:24,038
You know, there's
a good luck story
attached to this dinner.
1005
00:59:25,213 --> 00:59:26,737
You won't believe it,
1006
00:59:26,824 --> 00:59:29,174
but this bird was
wearing a diamond ring
1007
00:59:29,261 --> 00:59:31,002
when I chopped
its head off.
1008
00:59:31,785 --> 00:59:33,918
[SCREAMING]
1009
00:59:38,618 --> 00:59:39,837
Nathaniel?
1010
00:59:41,795 --> 00:59:44,015
Nathaniel, there's
plenty for everyone.
1011
00:59:44,842 --> 00:59:46,757
[CRASHING]
1012
00:59:51,892 --> 00:59:53,633
[ABIGAIL CRYING]
1013
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:55,722
BABCOCK: This was
a good man.
1014
00:59:55,809 --> 00:59:59,508
He was kind
and generous.
1015
00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:02,729
He was loving
and hard-working.
1016
01:00:02,816 --> 01:00:04,731
[SOBBING]
1017
01:00:04,818 --> 01:00:08,474
Miles, can you come
by the house tonight?
I must see you.
1018
01:00:08,561 --> 01:00:10,302
It could save Sara's life.
1019
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,088
All right. If it's
that important,
I'll be there.
1020
01:00:14,393 --> 01:00:15,829
Shh!
1021
01:00:15,916 --> 01:00:20,965
He was our strength.
He was our inspiration.
1022
01:00:21,052 --> 01:00:26,013
And we will all
sorely miss our
old dear friend,
1023
01:00:26,100 --> 01:00:27,667
Milton Crabtree.
1024
01:00:27,754 --> 01:00:29,756
What?
1025
01:00:29,843 --> 01:00:31,758
This is
the Baxter funeral!
1026
01:00:31,845 --> 01:00:34,065
You know, the degenerate
with the turkey!
1027
01:00:34,152 --> 01:00:36,502
[SOBBING]
1028
01:00:36,589 --> 01:00:41,768
Uh, may we please have
a moment of silence now
for Nathaniel?
1029
01:00:42,900 --> 01:00:44,684
[ABIGAIL BLOWING NOSE]
1030
01:00:56,740 --> 01:00:57,958
Thank you.
1031
01:01:01,832 --> 01:01:04,008
[ALL EXCLAIMING]
1032
01:01:10,841 --> 01:01:11,842
Oh!
1033
01:01:12,712 --> 01:01:14,061
[BARKING]
1034
01:01:15,759 --> 01:01:18,065
Oh, my God! Help me!
1035
01:01:18,152 --> 01:01:21,721
My pussy! My pussy! Oh!
Somebody grab my pussy!
1036
01:01:21,808 --> 01:01:23,592
Madam, please!
1037
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,682
Don't just stand there!
Somebody grab
that woman's pussy!
1038
01:01:28,859 --> 01:01:30,382
Help!
1039
01:01:31,949 --> 01:01:33,385
[CAT SHRIEKING]
1040
01:01:34,125 --> 01:01:35,474
[EXCLAIMS]
1041
01:01:38,520 --> 01:01:39,696
[SCREAMING]
1042
01:01:55,537 --> 01:01:57,452
[EXCLAIMS] Get off me!
1043
01:01:58,845 --> 01:02:02,240
Stop! Stop! You damn dog,
I'm gonna break your legs!
1044
01:02:02,327 --> 01:02:03,415
Stop, I'll kill you!
1045
01:02:07,854 --> 01:02:09,813
Oh, no!
1046
01:02:11,989 --> 01:02:13,033
[SCREAMING]
1047
01:02:19,823 --> 01:02:21,868
Parson. Parson.
Parson, are you hurt?
1048
01:02:21,955 --> 01:02:25,393
Miles, I believe
I understand the true
meaning of Easter.
1049
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:27,613
Where is Mummy?
Is she all right?
1050
01:02:27,700 --> 01:02:31,182
Well, it's hard to tell.
No one will get close
enough to examine her.
1051
01:02:31,269 --> 01:02:33,140
Miles Campbell? Yes.
1052
01:02:33,227 --> 01:02:35,316
I must speak
to you. Alone.
1053
01:02:35,403 --> 01:02:37,405
[GASPS]
Widow Chastity!
1054
01:02:37,492 --> 01:02:41,801
I have certain
inside information
concerning Sara Lee.
1055
01:02:41,888 --> 01:02:43,847
Oh, did you
say Sara Lee?
1056
01:02:43,934 --> 01:02:45,718
WIDOW CHASTITY: I'm sorry,
this is strictly confidential.
1057
01:02:45,805 --> 01:02:47,676
MILES: No, no,
you may speak freely
in front of the parson.
1058
01:02:47,764 --> 01:02:49,678
Why, he'd risk
his very life
to save Sara.
1059
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:51,158
Yes. But did
I say that?
1060
01:02:51,245 --> 01:02:52,943
I mean, certainly
I'd pray for her,
1061
01:02:53,030 --> 01:02:54,771
and I wish her all the
luck in the world...
1062
01:02:54,858 --> 01:02:57,686
Parson, please,
we don't have time!
1063
01:02:57,774 --> 01:03:00,689
The information
I have could cost us
all our lives.
1064
01:03:00,777 --> 01:03:02,822
Now, let's start walking.
1065
01:03:02,909 --> 01:03:04,911
We don't want to draw
attention to ourselves.
1066
01:03:05,564 --> 01:03:07,479
[WIDOW CHASTITY WHISPERING]
1067
01:03:12,919 --> 01:03:17,097
Miles? Oh.
Mayor Upton.
1068
01:03:17,184 --> 01:03:18,620
Sara.
1069
01:03:18,707 --> 01:03:19,970
What are you
doing here?
1070
01:03:20,057 --> 01:03:21,885
As public defender,
it is my duty
1071
01:03:21,972 --> 01:03:24,017
to plead your case
at tomorrow's trial.
1072
01:03:24,104 --> 01:03:27,978
Now, I'll do everything
in my power
to get you off,
1073
01:03:28,065 --> 01:03:30,894
but first I must ask
you to sign this.
1074
01:03:34,027 --> 01:03:36,029
But this is
a confession.
1075
01:03:36,116 --> 01:03:39,990
What? It's impossible!
"I do hereby confess."
1076
01:03:40,947 --> 01:03:43,732
Yes, it is a confession.
1077
01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:46,910
These legal matters
are beyond both
of our understanding.
1078
01:03:46,997 --> 01:03:48,694
But sometimes
a signed confession
1079
01:03:48,781 --> 01:03:51,088
could be instrumental in
proving one's innocence.
1080
01:03:51,566 --> 01:03:53,307
Sign.
1081
01:03:53,394 --> 01:03:55,875
Mayor Upton, are
you sure you know
what you're doing?
1082
01:03:55,962 --> 01:03:59,096
My life depends
on your defense.
1083
01:03:59,183 --> 01:04:01,750
Well, of course
I know what I'm doing.
1084
01:04:01,838 --> 01:04:03,665
I've done dozens
of these cases.
1085
01:04:04,797 --> 01:04:07,104
But you've lost
every one of them.
1086
01:04:07,191 --> 01:04:10,324
That's true.
That's true, I have.
1087
01:04:10,411 --> 01:04:12,892
But then, odds are,
I have a win coming up!
1088
01:04:14,024 --> 01:04:15,982
[CROWD SHOUTING]
1089
01:04:17,157 --> 01:04:20,944
Mayor Upton,
I really am innocent.
1090
01:04:21,031 --> 01:04:22,859
Oh, yes, yes, I know.
1091
01:04:22,946 --> 01:04:25,731
And there isn't a
single person in town
who doubts that.
1092
01:04:25,818 --> 01:04:27,864
MAN: Burn the witch!
1093
01:04:27,951 --> 01:04:29,996
ALL: Burn her!
Burn her!
1094
01:04:35,045 --> 01:04:36,873
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
1095
01:04:42,791 --> 01:04:44,402
You said you found
a way to save Sara.
1096
01:04:44,489 --> 01:04:46,708
FAITH: Oh, yes.
Please come in.
1097
01:04:48,232 --> 01:04:51,626
[DOOR LOCKING]
1098
01:04:57,806 --> 01:05:00,897
[HAMMERING NAILS]
1099
01:05:02,420 --> 01:05:04,335
I've been waiting for you.
1100
01:05:04,422 --> 01:05:06,076
MILES: It's awfully
hot in here.
1101
01:05:06,163 --> 01:05:07,773
You mind if I
open a window?
1102
01:05:09,296 --> 01:05:11,081
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
1103
01:05:12,082 --> 01:05:13,083
[GASPS]
1104
01:05:17,217 --> 01:05:22,309
Sara! Sara! Always Sara!
1105
01:05:22,396 --> 01:05:25,225
Do you think Sara could
ever look like this?
1106
01:05:26,835 --> 01:05:29,360
Well, maybe with a little
makeup and the right clothes?
1107
01:05:29,447 --> 01:05:30,927
Enough!
1108
01:05:32,624 --> 01:05:36,933
Tonight, I'm going to
make you forget Sara
was ever born.
1109
01:05:39,326 --> 01:05:40,414
Come.
1110
01:05:44,462 --> 01:05:46,116
Come to me, Miles.
1111
01:05:47,334 --> 01:05:49,032
Holy shit!
1112
01:05:49,119 --> 01:05:51,556
Come give your love to me.
1113
01:05:51,643 --> 01:05:53,471
[PANTING]
1114
01:05:53,558 --> 01:05:54,733
Give it to me.
1115
01:05:56,169 --> 01:05:58,955
Give it to me.
I demand it.
1116
01:05:59,042 --> 01:06:00,608
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
1117
01:06:00,695 --> 01:06:04,047
Faith? Is everything
all right?
1118
01:06:04,134 --> 01:06:06,919
Oh, yes, Abigail.
Everything is fine.
1119
01:06:07,006 --> 01:06:10,009
[LAUGHS NERVOUSLY]
I was just reading
the Bible.
1120
01:06:10,096 --> 01:06:13,143
Oh. Well...
1121
01:06:13,230 --> 01:06:16,015
Nightie-night. Nightie-night.
1122
01:06:19,236 --> 01:06:21,629
FAITH: Come to me, Miles.
Give it to me.
1123
01:06:21,716 --> 01:06:22,804
Give it to me.[SHOUTS]
1124
01:06:30,073 --> 01:06:32,118
[PANTING]
1125
01:06:32,205 --> 01:06:33,685
[WHISPERING]
Oh, Parson. Parson.
1126
01:06:33,772 --> 01:06:35,774
[WHISPERING] Miles,
is that you?
1127
01:06:35,861 --> 01:06:37,950
I'm so sorry I'm late,
but you don't know
what I've been through.
1128
01:06:38,037 --> 01:06:39,430
That's fine.
You'll tell me later.
1129
01:06:39,517 --> 01:06:41,475
Miles, what are
you wearing?
1130
01:06:41,562 --> 01:06:43,782
It's an apron.
I stole it off
a clothesline.
1131
01:06:43,869 --> 01:06:47,003
Good grief, man!
Remind me to
raise your salary.
1132
01:06:47,090 --> 01:06:48,613
Well, looks like
everyone's asleep.
1133
01:06:48,700 --> 01:06:51,094
Now listen to me.
Priscilla knows
everything.
1134
01:06:51,181 --> 01:06:53,357
Priscilla! Shh.
1135
01:06:53,444 --> 01:06:57,013
We have her allegiance.
She said she has left
the window open.
1136
01:06:57,100 --> 01:06:59,319
Wait a minute.
She knows we're
doing this?
1137
01:06:59,406 --> 01:07:01,365
[STAMMERS]
But Priscilla's
the mayor's wife!
1138
01:07:01,452 --> 01:07:05,630
Yes, she is.
But she's also the
parson's girlfriend.
1139
01:07:05,717 --> 01:07:08,154
Now, please,
help with the window.
1140
01:07:09,329 --> 01:07:10,896
Okay.
1141
01:07:14,117 --> 01:07:15,509
Miles, look out. [GRUNTS]
1142
01:07:15,596 --> 01:07:17,033
[CRASHING]
1143
01:07:19,122 --> 01:07:20,036
What was that?
1144
01:07:22,212 --> 01:07:23,126
Oh! Get up!
1145
01:07:24,214 --> 01:07:26,433
It's nothing!
Go back to sleep!
1146
01:07:31,569 --> 01:07:33,962
Okay, where do you
think the study is?
1147
01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:35,181
Oh, I think
it's this way.
1148
01:07:36,704 --> 01:07:38,010
Parson!
1149
01:07:38,097 --> 01:07:39,055
[POTS CLANGING]
1150
01:07:39,142 --> 01:07:40,273
Perhaps it's this way.
1151
01:07:43,146 --> 01:07:44,756
Quiet! Quiet!
1152
01:07:46,192 --> 01:07:48,238
That was definitely something!
1153
01:07:48,325 --> 01:07:50,240
What was something?
1154
01:07:51,284 --> 01:07:52,459
It's on your foot!
1155
01:07:53,417 --> 01:07:54,635
That!
1156
01:07:57,247 --> 01:07:59,292
[BOTH GROANING]
1157
01:07:59,379 --> 01:08:01,860
Didn't you hear that?
1158
01:08:01,947 --> 01:08:04,950
There's someone in this house!
I'm getting my guns!
1159
01:08:07,518 --> 01:08:11,043
[WHISPERING]
Now be quiet.
Follow me.
1160
01:08:21,184 --> 01:08:22,794
[CLATTERING]
1161
01:08:31,716 --> 01:08:32,978
Parson? Yes? [SCREAMS]
1162
01:08:35,459 --> 01:08:36,764
Shh.
1163
01:08:47,384 --> 01:08:48,646
This is it!
1164
01:08:48,733 --> 01:08:49,908
We're going to die!
1165
01:08:51,301 --> 01:08:53,259
No. This is it.
1166
01:08:53,346 --> 01:08:55,740
It's a scale model of
that Puritan Village,
1167
01:08:55,827 --> 01:08:57,394
the one Widow Chastity
told us about.
1168
01:08:57,481 --> 01:08:59,309
Oh, good, good. Now all we have to do
1169
01:08:59,396 --> 01:09:01,049
is find some proof
to take with us.
1170
01:09:01,137 --> 01:09:04,444
Here, hold this.
And stand over here.
1171
01:09:06,925 --> 01:09:08,622
I'm gonna
look around.
1172
01:09:15,368 --> 01:09:16,891
Maybe I should go for help.
1173
01:09:16,978 --> 01:09:20,678
Not yet. I'm sure
there's nobody in there!
1174
01:09:20,765 --> 01:09:23,246
Miles, hurry,
somebody's coming!
1175
01:09:23,333 --> 01:09:25,204
Oh, I've looked everywhere!
1176
01:09:27,467 --> 01:09:29,904
Parson! You found it!
1177
01:09:29,991 --> 01:09:31,297
What?
1178
01:09:34,213 --> 01:09:35,867
BELINDA: What's going on?
1179
01:09:37,564 --> 01:09:39,740
Nyah, nyah, you missed me.
1180
01:09:39,827 --> 01:09:41,655
Have some respect
for your elders.
1181
01:09:42,352 --> 01:09:44,267
[BELINDA SCREAMS]
1182
01:09:44,354 --> 01:09:46,443
That's what happens
when cousins marry.
1183
01:09:56,627 --> 01:09:58,281
It seems to be stuck.
1184
01:09:58,368 --> 01:10:01,066
What? That's impossible!
Here, let me try.
1185
01:10:10,467 --> 01:10:12,382
See, I told you
it was nothing.
1186
01:10:12,469 --> 01:10:14,471
Now can we go
back to bed?
1187
01:10:14,558 --> 01:10:17,082
[MOCKINGLY]
"Now can we go back to bed?
Now can we go back to bed?"
1188
01:10:18,475 --> 01:10:21,521
All rise for
the Honorable Judge John.
1189
01:10:24,655 --> 01:10:25,960
Good morning,
Your Honor.
1190
01:10:26,047 --> 01:10:27,223
Be seated.
1191
01:10:27,310 --> 01:10:29,094
There you go.
1192
01:10:29,181 --> 01:10:31,401
This court is
now in session.
1193
01:10:34,142 --> 01:10:37,537
I have before me
the charge of witchcraft
1194
01:10:37,624 --> 01:10:41,454
in the case of the Colony
of Massachusetts Bay
v. Sara Lee.
1195
01:10:41,541 --> 01:10:43,282
[CROWD CHATTERING]
1196
01:10:43,369 --> 01:10:45,110
JUDGE JOHN: Sara Lee,
1197
01:10:45,197 --> 01:10:47,330
under the laws of
this colony, my dear,
1198
01:10:47,417 --> 01:10:50,028
you will be judged
fairly by a jury
of your peers.
1199
01:10:51,072 --> 01:10:52,596
Thank you, Your Honor.
1200
01:10:58,819 --> 01:11:00,952
[JUDGE JOHN BANGS GAVEL]
1201
01:11:01,039 --> 01:11:04,390
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
Does the counsel for the
defense have anything to say?
1202
01:11:04,477 --> 01:11:06,653
Yes, Your Honor.
1203
01:11:06,740 --> 01:11:11,310
Uh, the defense intends
to prove that my client
is innocent of all charges.
1204
01:11:11,397 --> 01:11:13,051
[AUDIENCE PROTESTING]
1205
01:11:15,706 --> 01:11:17,795
Does the prosecution
have a statement?
1206
01:11:20,841 --> 01:11:22,365
Yes, Your Honor.
1207
01:11:22,452 --> 01:11:25,324
The prosecution
intends to prove,
1208
01:11:25,411 --> 01:11:28,284
beyond a shadow
of a doubt,
1209
01:11:28,371 --> 01:11:30,198
that Sara Lee is
guilty of witchcraft!
1210
01:11:30,286 --> 01:11:32,026
[AUDIENCE CHEERS RAUCOUSLY]
1211
01:11:36,030 --> 01:11:37,510
[BANGING GAVEL]
1212
01:11:41,514 --> 01:11:45,997
Order. Order in the court.
Ladies and gentlemen, please.
1213
01:11:46,084 --> 01:11:51,045
Now then, let's begin
with the prosecution.
Call your first witness.
1214
01:11:51,132 --> 01:11:53,396
Mother, you today are
just too much for me.
1215
01:11:53,483 --> 01:11:55,528
[GRUNTING] God help us.
1216
01:11:55,615 --> 01:11:58,401
[GRUNTS] So heavy.
Dear God, do you have the
dog in there with you?
1217
01:11:58,488 --> 01:12:00,490
Oh, I can't
let Miles down.
1218
01:12:00,577 --> 01:12:02,405
Oh, Mummy,
how could you
let me oversleep?
1219
01:12:02,492 --> 01:12:05,495
[NECK CRACKING]Oh, oh, oh.
1220
01:12:05,582 --> 01:12:07,714
Wait right here.
Wait right here. [GROANING]
1221
01:12:07,801 --> 01:12:10,848
[PANTING] Oh, oh.
I'm coming, Miles.
1222
01:12:10,935 --> 01:12:12,328
Don't you worry.
I am coming.
1223
01:12:13,503 --> 01:12:16,723
Parson! Parson,
over here!
1224
01:12:16,810 --> 01:12:18,508
Order in this court.
Settle down.
1225
01:12:20,205 --> 01:12:21,467
Where is she?
1226
01:12:21,554 --> 01:12:22,468
Shh!
1227
01:12:24,252 --> 01:12:27,691
All right, Mrs. Johnson,
will you continue, please?
1228
01:12:27,778 --> 01:12:29,345
Thank you, Your Honor.
1229
01:12:30,781 --> 01:12:32,478
[WHISPERS] She's
a witch, all right.[PEOPLE GASPING]
1230
01:12:32,565 --> 01:12:36,917
I saw her,
clear as day,
call upon Satan!
1231
01:12:37,004 --> 01:12:38,963
[CROWD EXCLAIMING]
1232
01:12:39,050 --> 01:12:41,705
And is that woman
in the courtroom now?
1233
01:12:41,792 --> 01:12:43,968
She most certainly is!
1234
01:12:44,055 --> 01:12:47,232
And would you
point her out for
the court, please?
1235
01:12:47,319 --> 01:12:50,627
That's the one!
Burn her! Burn her!
1236
01:12:50,714 --> 01:12:53,412
Burn her before
it's too late!
1237
01:12:53,499 --> 01:12:54,718
[EXCLAIMS]
1238
01:12:54,805 --> 01:12:56,981
[BANGING GAVEL]
1239
01:12:57,068 --> 01:12:58,983
Parson, hand me the map.
This is our chance.
1240
01:13:03,596 --> 01:13:05,468
Please settle down.
1241
01:13:05,555 --> 01:13:08,427
This is a court of
justice, a court of law.
1242
01:13:08,514 --> 01:13:12,170
Parson, this is wrapping
paper! Where's the map?
1243
01:13:12,257 --> 01:13:16,653
Oh, dear. Oh, no!
I have no idea!
1244
01:13:16,740 --> 01:13:19,873
If that wasn't it,
then I don't know.
1245
01:13:19,960 --> 01:13:23,921
Ladies and gentlemen,
order, please! Settle down!
This is a court of justice!
1246
01:13:24,008 --> 01:13:26,880
Now, I think we've heard
just about enough from
the prosecution.
1247
01:13:26,967 --> 01:13:28,882
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury, do you
have a verdict?
1248
01:13:29,492 --> 01:13:31,494
Yes, we have, Your Honor.
1249
01:13:31,581 --> 01:13:33,974
But, Your Honor,
you haven't heard
my defense yet.
1250
01:13:36,150 --> 01:13:37,543
Yes, and that's
the law!
1251
01:13:37,630 --> 01:13:39,676
[CROWD GROANING]
1252
01:13:39,763 --> 01:13:44,115
[SCOFFS] Oh, all right,
if you're gonna nit-pick.
1253
01:13:44,202 --> 01:13:47,597
All right. Does the
counsel for the defense
have any witnesses
1254
01:13:47,684 --> 01:13:49,599
he would like to
call to the stand?
1255
01:13:49,686 --> 01:13:52,428
Uh, none that I can
think of, Your Honor.
1256
01:13:53,429 --> 01:13:55,169
[WHISPERING]
1257
01:13:55,735 --> 01:13:57,258
Oh, uh...
1258
01:13:57,650 --> 01:14:00,044
Yes, uh, one.
1259
01:14:00,131 --> 01:14:04,004
[CLEARS THROAT] The
defense calls Dr. Joyce
Brothers to the stand.
1260
01:14:04,091 --> 01:14:06,006
[CROWD EXCLAIMING]
1261
01:14:21,282 --> 01:14:22,588
Raise your right hand.
1262
01:14:23,850 --> 01:14:25,417
Do you swear to tell the
truth, the whole truth,
1263
01:14:25,504 --> 01:14:27,158
and nothing but the truth,
so help you God?
1264
01:14:27,680 --> 01:14:28,768
I do.
1265
01:14:28,855 --> 01:14:30,466
I'm a big fan
of yours.
1266
01:14:30,553 --> 01:14:31,510
Really? Really.
1267
01:14:31,597 --> 01:14:33,991
Thank you so much.
1268
01:14:34,078 --> 01:14:36,384
UPTON: So, Dr. Brothers,
is it?
1269
01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:37,603
Yes.
1270
01:14:37,690 --> 01:14:39,736
And you are
a doctor of what?
1271
01:14:39,823 --> 01:14:43,261
A doctor of psychology,
and I know exactly
what the problem is here.
1272
01:14:43,348 --> 01:14:46,743
Well, then maybe
you'd like to share it
with the entire court?
1273
01:14:46,830 --> 01:14:49,267
All right. What you
have here in Salem
1274
01:14:49,354 --> 01:14:51,225
is a case of
mass hysteria,
1275
01:14:51,312 --> 01:14:53,967
brought on by repressive
religious doctrines,
1276
01:14:54,054 --> 01:14:57,623
which in turn stifle
individual sexual expression.
1277
01:14:57,710 --> 01:15:02,149
This repressed sexuality,
coupled with intense
moral guilt,
1278
01:15:02,236 --> 01:15:05,457
produces a violent
psychological backlash,
1279
01:15:05,544 --> 01:15:09,461
which often takes the
form of homicidal paranoia,
1280
01:15:09,548 --> 01:15:13,944
in which innocent victims
are imagined to be tormentors.
1281
01:15:14,031 --> 01:15:17,338
In this case, Sara Lee
is the innocent victim
1282
01:15:17,425 --> 01:15:20,603
and her accusers
are the real tormentors,
1283
01:15:20,690 --> 01:15:22,735
desperately in need
of a good orgasm.
1284
01:15:22,822 --> 01:15:24,781
[CHOKES] [CROWD GASPS]
1285
01:15:27,566 --> 01:15:29,307
That's a load of shit!
1286
01:15:30,569 --> 01:15:32,615
I say we burn
the bitch!
1287
01:15:32,702 --> 01:15:34,399
[CROWD CHEERING RAUCOUSLY]
1288
01:15:34,486 --> 01:15:36,401
[BANGING GAVEL]
1289
01:15:36,488 --> 01:15:39,665
Bailiff, take that
heretic out of here!
1290
01:15:39,752 --> 01:15:41,624
We'll burn her later! ALL: Yeah!
1291
01:15:47,238 --> 01:15:49,675
Any more witnesses
for the defense?
1292
01:15:52,678 --> 01:15:55,551
[CLEARS THROAT]
The defense calls Annabelle
Porter to the stand.
1293
01:15:56,856 --> 01:15:59,119
How can you eat
at a time like this?
1294
01:15:59,206 --> 01:16:02,862
Oh, well, ever since
you told me about lunch,
I haven't missed a one.
1295
01:16:02,949 --> 01:16:05,604
In what way do you
know the defendant?
1296
01:16:05,691 --> 01:16:09,434
Well, as most of you know,
I run the local orphanage,
1297
01:16:09,521 --> 01:16:12,306
and I met Sara
when she was left
as a foundling
1298
01:16:12,393 --> 01:16:15,527
on my doorstep
almost 20 years ago.
1299
01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:17,964
All this witch stuff
is pure nonsense.
1300
01:16:18,051 --> 01:16:20,967
Why, she spent
the last year
giving her free time
1301
01:16:21,054 --> 01:16:23,840
to teaching my girls
singing and dancing.
1302
01:16:23,927 --> 01:16:26,756
As a matter of fact,
I've brought three
of her pupils here
1303
01:16:26,843 --> 01:16:29,410
to show you what
wonderful progress
she has made.
1304
01:16:29,933 --> 01:16:31,282
Your Honor?
1305
01:16:31,891 --> 01:16:33,371
Oh, go ahead.
1306
01:16:33,893 --> 01:16:35,373
ANNABELLE: Girls.
1307
01:16:35,460 --> 01:16:36,635
[PLAYING NOTE]
1308
01:16:38,768 --> 01:16:40,813
[FUNKY MUSIC PLAYING]
1309
01:16:41,684 --> 01:16:42,815
[GASPS]
1310
01:16:44,469 --> 01:16:46,732
♪ Now you might
pray to God, y'all
1311
01:16:46,819 --> 01:16:48,865
♪ But I like Lucifer
best of all
1312
01:16:48,952 --> 01:16:50,997
♪ Don't keep Satan waiting
1313
01:16:51,084 --> 01:16:52,999
♪ Don't keep Satan waiting
1314
01:16:53,086 --> 01:16:55,045
♪ Sunday school is
a place for fools
1315
01:16:55,132 --> 01:16:57,221
♪ It's hot in hell,
but the Devil's cool
1316
01:16:57,308 --> 01:16:59,353
♪ Don't keep Satan waiting
1317
01:16:59,440 --> 01:17:01,399
♪ Don't keep Satan waiting
1318
01:17:01,486 --> 01:17:03,444
♪ So don't just sit
there, join the club
1319
01:17:03,531 --> 01:17:05,533
♪ Sell your soul
to Beelzebub!
1320
01:17:09,799 --> 01:17:12,715
♪ No, no, no, no,
don't keep him waiting
1321
01:17:12,802 --> 01:17:14,194
♪ Don't keep him waiting
1322
01:17:14,281 --> 01:17:16,066
♪ You know he's waiting
1323
01:17:16,153 --> 01:17:18,546
♪ Anticipating
the celebrating
1324
01:17:22,072 --> 01:17:24,814
♪ Don't be afraid to
come visit Hades
1325
01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:26,816
♪ This way to Hell ♪ Get down, get down
1326
01:17:26,903 --> 01:17:28,731
♪ This way to Hell ♪ Get way down
1327
01:17:28,818 --> 01:17:31,081
♪ This way to Hell ♪ He's underground ♪
1328
01:17:41,831 --> 01:17:44,616
Now does the jury
have a verdict?
1329
01:17:45,182 --> 01:17:46,836
We have, Your Honor.
1330
01:17:46,923 --> 01:17:48,707
WIDOW CHASTITY:
Wait a minute.
1331
01:17:48,794 --> 01:17:52,145
Wait a minute!
It's my fault that
she's the way she is.
1332
01:17:52,232 --> 01:17:53,799
Bum me in her place.
1333
01:17:54,278 --> 01:17:55,671
Why?
1334
01:17:55,758 --> 01:17:58,674
Because I'm...
Because I'm...
1335
01:18:03,591 --> 01:18:04,897
I'm her mother.
1336
01:18:04,984 --> 01:18:06,769
[CROWD GASPING]
1337
01:18:12,644 --> 01:18:15,168
Excuse me. Excuse me!
1338
01:18:15,255 --> 01:18:18,694
This isn't family court.
I don't give a damn
who you two are.
1339
01:18:18,781 --> 01:18:19,999
Do you have a verdict?
1340
01:18:20,086 --> 01:18:21,653
JURY FOREMAN:
We have, Your Honor.
1341
01:18:21,740 --> 01:18:23,699
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
1342
01:18:23,786 --> 01:18:25,483
No, no,
not another relative!
1343
01:18:25,570 --> 01:18:28,616
I have in my hands
the proof that Sara Lee
is innocent,
1344
01:18:28,704 --> 01:18:32,533
and that you, Judge John,
and you, Mayor Upton,
are the guilty ones.
1345
01:18:32,620 --> 01:18:36,929
[BANGING GAVEL]
You are incredibly
out of order!
1346
01:18:37,016 --> 01:18:38,975
Listen to me!
Listen to me!
1347
01:18:39,062 --> 01:18:41,107
They have been
burning innocent people
and taking their land.
1348
01:18:41,194 --> 01:18:43,719
It's all here in the
map of Puritan Village.
1349
01:18:43,806 --> 01:18:45,808
Here, look
for yourselves! [CROWD EXCLAIMING]]
1350
01:18:45,895 --> 01:18:47,635
[SCREAMING]
1351
01:18:47,723 --> 01:18:50,247
He's a witch!
He's a witch!
1352
01:18:52,553 --> 01:18:53,554
[EXCLAIMS]
1353
01:18:57,080 --> 01:18:58,081
Burn them!
1354
01:19:00,083 --> 01:19:01,084
Burn them!
1355
01:19:05,044 --> 01:19:06,698
Burn them!
1356
01:19:06,785 --> 01:19:07,743
Burn them both!
1357
01:19:11,311 --> 01:19:12,748
[MOUTHING]
1358
01:19:15,533 --> 01:19:18,536
Sara Lee.
Miles Campbell.
1359
01:19:18,623 --> 01:19:20,843
Prepare to meet
your maker.
1360
01:19:20,930 --> 01:19:22,627
Sara, I want
you to know.
1361
01:19:22,714 --> 01:19:25,195
I'll always love you, in
this world and in the next.
1362
01:19:25,282 --> 01:19:28,807
Oh, Miles, I'll love
you till the day I die.
1363
01:19:31,288 --> 01:19:32,942
Light it.
1364
01:19:33,899 --> 01:19:35,292
Light it!No!
1365
01:19:35,945 --> 01:19:38,034
You're fired! I quit!
1366
01:19:39,122 --> 01:19:42,865
Uh, all right.
You, light it!
1367
01:19:42,952 --> 01:19:44,605
Me? Why me?
1368
01:19:44,692 --> 01:19:46,912
Because I'm bigger
than you are!
Now light it!
1369
01:19:47,521 --> 01:19:48,958
[WHIMPERING]
1370
01:19:50,960 --> 01:19:52,831
I can't.Light it, you
fool! Light it!
1371
01:19:52,918 --> 01:19:54,224
Burn them!
1372
01:19:54,311 --> 01:19:56,008
BABCOCK: No!
Listen to me!
1373
01:19:56,095 --> 01:19:58,445
Do not do this!
These good people
are innocent!
1374
01:19:58,532 --> 01:20:00,970
Get away. No!
By God, I will not
let you do it!
1375
01:20:01,057 --> 01:20:02,667
Stop it! Get back.
1376
01:20:04,147 --> 01:20:05,322
[GRUNTS]
1377
01:20:06,540 --> 01:20:08,194
[CROWD EXCLAIMING]
1378
01:20:10,022 --> 01:20:11,502
[EXCLAIMS]
1379
01:20:16,072 --> 01:20:17,160
There's your witch!
1380
01:20:18,030 --> 01:20:19,815
No shit, Sherlock!
1381
01:20:21,729 --> 01:20:25,255
That's right,
I'm a witch!
1382
01:20:25,342 --> 01:20:27,823
Of course, if any
of you had any brains,
1383
01:20:28,736 --> 01:20:30,956
you'd know who's
behind all of this.
1384
01:20:33,002 --> 01:20:34,917
Uh, boys!
1385
01:20:35,004 --> 01:20:38,311
You're not going away
without a farewell speech,
are you?
1386
01:20:39,965 --> 01:20:42,054
It's time to
tell the truth.
1387
01:20:45,014 --> 01:20:46,493
We made the
whole thing about
the witches up
1388
01:20:46,580 --> 01:20:48,060
so we could steal
everybody's land!
1389
01:20:48,147 --> 01:20:49,801
Shut up! [ALL EXCLAIMING]
1390
01:20:49,888 --> 01:20:53,936
Shut up, you...
We were going
to sell you all
1391
01:20:54,023 --> 01:20:55,459
down the river
for a profit!
1392
01:20:55,546 --> 01:20:56,764
[CROWD EXCLAIMS]
1393
01:20:56,852 --> 01:20:59,898
That's right, it
was them all along!
1394
01:20:59,985 --> 01:21:04,250
You fools,
you do nothing but
burn innocent people.
1395
01:21:04,337 --> 01:21:06,774
What a bunch
of hypocrites!
1396
01:21:07,993 --> 01:21:11,649
[CHUCKLING] And as
for you, sweet lips,
1397
01:21:11,736 --> 01:21:14,130
it's too bad
we never did get it on.
1398
01:21:14,957 --> 01:21:16,088
[FAITH LAUGHING]
1399
01:21:17,133 --> 01:21:20,614
I'm sure we would've
had a real fun time.
1400
01:21:25,054 --> 01:21:27,883
And now, if you'll
all excuse me,
1401
01:21:27,970 --> 01:21:31,887
I've had enough of this
miserable little town.
1402
01:21:31,974 --> 01:21:33,889
Adios,pinheads!
1403
01:21:37,370 --> 01:21:41,070
I can see! It's a
miracle! I can see!
1404
01:21:41,157 --> 01:21:43,028
[CROWD CHEERING]
1405
01:21:44,029 --> 01:21:46,902
Samuel, Caleb, Jeremiah,
release them at once!
1406
01:21:55,388 --> 01:21:56,563
Parson?
1407
01:22:01,003 --> 01:22:02,395
Will you do
us a favor?
1408
01:22:02,482 --> 01:22:03,570
Anything, Miles.
Anything.
1409
01:22:03,657 --> 01:22:05,094
Marry us.
Now. Here.
1410
01:22:05,181 --> 01:22:07,009
Oh, yes, please.
1411
01:22:07,096 --> 01:22:08,924
I would be honored.
1412
01:22:10,316 --> 01:22:13,929
In the beginning,
God made Adam and Eve.
1413
01:22:14,016 --> 01:22:15,278
[CROWD PROTESTING]
1414
01:22:15,365 --> 01:22:17,019
Oh, all right,
all right!
1415
01:22:17,106 --> 01:22:19,021
By the power
vested in me
1416
01:22:19,108 --> 01:22:21,980
I do hereby pronounce
you man and wife.
Kiss the bride.
1417
01:22:22,067 --> 01:22:24,113
[CROWD CHEERING]
1418
01:22:26,376 --> 01:22:28,682
[RINGING]
1419
01:22:28,769 --> 01:22:34,166
Good townspeople,
never forget the lesson
you've learned here today.
1420
01:22:34,253 --> 01:22:38,388
Love, brotherly love,
unconditional love
for each other,
1421
01:22:38,475 --> 01:22:41,130
without any
judgment whatsoever,
1422
01:22:41,217 --> 01:22:45,264
that's what Salem
must stand for
from this moment on.
1423
01:22:45,351 --> 01:22:48,964
I agree!
Let's let bygones
be bygones!
1424
01:22:49,051 --> 01:22:51,183
It wasn't me, really,
it was the judge!
1425
01:22:51,662 --> 01:22:52,924
Kill them!
1426
01:22:53,011 --> 01:22:54,056
[CROWD AGREEING]
1427
01:22:59,626 --> 01:23:02,760
Well, Parson, it looks
like these people still
have a long way to go.
1428
01:23:02,847 --> 01:23:04,457
I'm afraid
so, Miles.
1429
01:23:04,544 --> 01:23:06,024
Although I was
hoping that somebody
1430
01:23:06,111 --> 01:23:08,157
would have learned a
lesson from all of this.
1431
01:23:08,244 --> 01:23:11,073
Ah, well, I've got to
go and find Mummy.
1432
01:23:11,160 --> 01:23:12,770
PRISCILLA: Oh, Parson.
1433
01:23:12,857 --> 01:23:16,034
Oh, yes.
1434
01:23:16,121 --> 01:23:18,515
On second thought,
maybe it's time the old
goat learns to help herself.
1435
01:23:18,602 --> 01:23:20,430
[LAUGHS]
1436
01:23:20,517 --> 01:23:22,084
Good-bye, children. Good-bye now.
1437
01:23:22,171 --> 01:23:23,999
Good-bye, Parson.
1438
01:23:25,957 --> 01:23:29,830
Well, now what are
we gonna do?
1439
01:23:29,917 --> 01:23:32,920
Miles! We just got married.
1440
01:23:33,921 --> 01:23:35,445
Oh, yeah! [LAUGHS]
1441
01:23:35,532 --> 01:23:37,664
Come along,
Mrs. Campbell.
1442
01:23:37,751 --> 01:23:39,579
[BURNIN' LOVEPLAYING]
1443
01:23:41,233 --> 01:23:43,018
[METALLIC CLANK]
102152
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