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1
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,994
Mother, what are
you doing in there?
2
00:00:13,018 --> 00:00:15,768
I want to talk to you.
3
00:00:15,792 --> 00:00:18,742
Is, uh, what's-his-name around?
4
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:22,520
What's-his-n... Uh,
Darrin is playing golf.
5
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,790
Good.
6
00:00:23,814 --> 00:00:24,915
Ooh!
7
00:00:25,820 --> 00:00:27,834
But he'll be home soon.
8
00:00:27,858 --> 00:00:30,776
Oh, that's bad because
I have an invitation
9
00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:32,548
from your old friend Rollo
10
00:00:32,572 --> 00:00:34,821
to join us at the
Cosmos Cotillion
11
00:00:34,845 --> 00:00:37,896
for the costume ball
to end all costume balls.
12
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:39,835
Well, it... It sounds
fascinating, Mother,
13
00:00:39,859 --> 00:00:42,073
but I have more
important things to do.
14
00:00:42,098 --> 00:00:43,812
Like what?
15
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,650
Well, I have to
peel the potatoes,
16
00:00:45,674 --> 00:00:46,853
chop the onions,
17
00:00:46,877 --> 00:00:49,427
slice the carrots and
season my leg of lamb.
18
00:00:49,451 --> 00:00:51,086
Ugh.
19
00:00:53,796 --> 00:00:58,574
Samantha, I have
failed you as a mother.
20
00:01:00,649 --> 00:01:02,129
Mother.
21
00:01:02,153 --> 00:01:03,332
I did it. I did it.
22
00:01:03,356 --> 00:01:05,404
Hooray!
23
00:01:05,429 --> 00:01:07,565
Sam, I did it. I...
24
00:01:09,473 --> 00:01:11,176
Oh. Hi.
25
00:01:12,682 --> 00:01:14,864
S-Sam, you'll...
You'll never believe...
26
00:01:14,888 --> 00:01:16,301
You'll never believe this,
27
00:01:16,325 --> 00:01:18,407
but I-I've finally
broken through.
28
00:01:18,431 --> 00:01:20,814
Isn't the expression
"broken out"?
29
00:01:20,838 --> 00:01:23,153
Sam, I finally broke 80.
30
00:01:23,177 --> 00:01:25,661
Oh, sweetheart, that's terrific.
31
00:01:25,685 --> 00:01:26,997
Eighty what?
32
00:01:27,021 --> 00:01:28,535
Oh, n-nothing, Mother.
33
00:01:28,559 --> 00:01:29,905
Oh.
34
00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:32,869
I'll tell you about it
after your mother leaves.
35
00:01:35,478 --> 00:01:39,966
Oh, and Endora, no offense,
but I think you need a shave.
36
00:01:39,990 --> 00:01:42,272
Ooh. Mother, please.
37
00:01:42,296 --> 00:01:43,275
Oh.
38
00:01:43,299 --> 00:01:45,248
Samantha, forgive me,
39
00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:47,521
but when I think of
what you gave up
40
00:01:47,545 --> 00:01:49,960
to marry a man who
spends his Sundays
41
00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,735
breaking 80
nothings, I could cry.
42
00:01:52,759 --> 00:01:56,311
Oh, well, save
your tears, Mother.
43
00:01:56,335 --> 00:01:59,287
I am perfectly
happy with Darrin.
44
00:01:59,311 --> 00:02:03,397
That's only because the
creature is still a novelty.
45
00:02:03,421 --> 00:02:06,774
I'll be happy with
him if I live to be 3000.
46
00:02:06,798 --> 00:02:08,712
You can change
your mind many times
47
00:02:08,736 --> 00:02:11,420
in 3000 years, Samantha.
48
00:02:11,444 --> 00:02:13,458
Heaven knows I did.
49
00:02:13,482 --> 00:02:16,300
But what about
30 years from now,
50
00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:20,466
when whatever dubious
charms he has wrinkle up?
51
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,990
Mother, will you do me a favor?
52
00:02:25,014 --> 00:02:27,498
Go to your ball,
give Rollo my best,
53
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:30,004
and let me see to my dinner.
54
00:02:30,028 --> 00:02:32,967
You'll see more
than to your dinner.
55
00:02:34,273 --> 00:02:36,890
What's that supposed to me...?
56
00:02:36,914 --> 00:02:38,661
M-Mother?
57
00:02:38,685 --> 00:02:39,687
Mother?
58
00:02:40,791 --> 00:02:44,376
Odds plus odds Add up to evens
59
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:48,054
Let the curse be On
Durwood Stephens
60
00:02:48,078 --> 00:02:50,962
Make the future be the present
61
00:02:50,986 --> 00:02:56,031
And zing it To the
dum-dum peasant
62
00:02:58,641 --> 00:03:00,844
Samantha!
63
00:03:02,117 --> 00:03:04,433
Sweetheart, what is it?
64
00:03:04,457 --> 00:03:07,062
What's the...? Ah!
65
00:03:11,074 --> 00:03:13,356
Well.
66
00:03:13,380 --> 00:03:15,229
Say something.
67
00:03:15,253 --> 00:03:17,803
Oh, Mother.
68
00:03:17,827 --> 00:03:20,532
Is that all you can say?
69
00:03:21,770 --> 00:03:24,554
You look, uh, very handsome.
70
00:03:24,578 --> 00:03:26,048
Uh, for your age.
71
00:03:28,121 --> 00:03:29,623
Oh.
72
00:04:22,137 --> 00:04:25,389
Sam, this is absolutely
and without question
73
00:04:25,413 --> 00:04:27,261
the most abominable,
most atrocious trick
74
00:04:27,285 --> 00:04:28,832
your mother has
ever pulled on me.
75
00:04:28,856 --> 00:04:30,503
Oh, be patient, sweetheart.
76
00:04:30,527 --> 00:04:33,076
I'm trying to get her back.
77
00:04:33,101 --> 00:04:35,851
Brock of owl's eye
Smerge of eel...
78
00:04:35,875 --> 00:04:39,661
Will you stop with the corny
incantations and do something?
79
00:04:39,685 --> 00:04:42,203
Well, there's nothing I
can do. She's the only...
80
00:04:42,227 --> 00:04:45,867
I don't want excuses. I
want the old me back.
81
00:04:51,283 --> 00:04:53,265
I mean the young me.
82
00:04:53,289 --> 00:04:56,273
Darrin, I know how
angry you are with...
83
00:04:56,297 --> 00:04:59,583
My feelings for your
mother go beyond anger.
84
00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:02,245
Now, I mean, anyone who
could do this thing is sick.
85
00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,602
I can't believe it.
86
00:05:06,626 --> 00:05:11,248
You know, actually, you
carry your age very well.
87
00:05:11,272 --> 00:05:13,042
Thanks a lot.
88
00:05:22,738 --> 00:05:24,150
At least I still
got my own teeth.
89
00:05:24,174 --> 00:05:27,159
Darrin, will you stop
looking at yourself?
90
00:05:27,183 --> 00:05:28,295
I'm trying.
91
00:05:28,319 --> 00:05:31,905
Now, you have got to
get your mind off yourself.
92
00:05:31,929 --> 00:05:34,112
Let's go to a nice, dark movie.
93
00:05:34,136 --> 00:05:36,986
Well, suppose we meet
somebody in the nice, bright lobby?
94
00:05:37,010 --> 00:05:39,225
How about a drive-in movie?
95
00:05:39,249 --> 00:05:42,134
I guess anything's better
than waiting around here.
96
00:05:42,158 --> 00:05:45,042
But didn't we have a date
to play bridge with the Tates?
97
00:05:45,066 --> 00:05:47,369
I'll get us out of it.
98
00:05:54,224 --> 00:05:56,272
Darrin.
99
00:05:56,296 --> 00:05:58,166
I'm sorry.
100
00:06:11,973 --> 00:06:13,922
There will be a
10-minute intermission
101
00:06:13,946 --> 00:06:15,793
before the start of
the main feature.
102
00:06:15,817 --> 00:06:18,300
The refreshment
stand is now open.
103
00:06:18,324 --> 00:06:21,174
I'll go get us some...
104
00:06:21,199 --> 00:06:23,336
You'll go get us some hot dogs.
105
00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:33,641
Your aunt. Why couldn't
you take her to the movies?
106
00:06:33,665 --> 00:06:37,152
Because these drive-ins
are crawling with mashers.
107
00:06:37,176 --> 00:06:38,957
You should be so lucky.
108
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,895
Funny.
109
00:06:40,919 --> 00:06:43,268
I don't know how I'm gonna
sit through that movie again.
110
00:06:43,292 --> 00:06:44,372
I hated it the first time.
111
00:06:44,396 --> 00:06:46,545
Excuse me. Oh.
112
00:06:46,569 --> 00:06:47,847
Oh.
113
00:06:47,871 --> 00:06:48,951
Hi there.
114
00:06:48,975 --> 00:06:50,655
Hello, Sam.
115
00:06:50,679 --> 00:06:52,126
If you didn't want
to play bridge,
116
00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:53,731
you should've said so.
117
00:06:53,755 --> 00:06:56,839
You didn't have to make up
that story about Darrin being sick.
118
00:06:56,863 --> 00:06:59,613
Oh, but he is.
119
00:06:59,637 --> 00:07:00,984
Well... Well, he was asleep.
120
00:07:01,008 --> 00:07:03,346
Uh, so I just decided to go out.
121
00:07:04,684 --> 00:07:07,735
Well, uh, s-somebody dropped
in from... From out of town.
122
00:07:07,759 --> 00:07:10,811
And as long as
Darrin was asleep...
123
00:07:10,835 --> 00:07:15,178
Well, uh, these hot dogs
are getting cold. Bye.
124
00:07:17,019 --> 00:07:18,465
Well, well, well, well.
125
00:07:18,489 --> 00:07:19,701
She leaves a sick husband
126
00:07:19,725 --> 00:07:21,473
and goes to a
drive-in with somebody
127
00:07:21,497 --> 00:07:24,371
who just dropped
in from out of town.
128
00:07:25,375 --> 00:07:26,922
Darrin, here.
129
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,494
Let's go. Where?
130
00:07:28,518 --> 00:07:32,125
To see who her date is.
131
00:07:33,465 --> 00:07:36,983
You'll never guess
who I ran into.
132
00:07:37,007 --> 00:07:38,053
Oh, I can guess.
133
00:07:38,077 --> 00:07:40,025
Hi there.
134
00:07:40,049 --> 00:07:43,267
Oh, well, uh... H-Hi, again.
135
00:07:43,291 --> 00:07:45,194
Oh, I-I'd like you to meet...
136
00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:49,552
Darrin's grandfather, Grover.
137
00:07:49,576 --> 00:07:51,389
Grover Stephens.
138
00:07:51,413 --> 00:07:53,496
This is Louise and Larry Tate.
139
00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,899
Larry is Darrin's boss.
140
00:07:54,923 --> 00:07:57,127
Oh. Howdy, kids.
141
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:00,515
W-What you staring
at, young fellow?
142
00:08:00,539 --> 00:08:02,320
I thought Darrin
told me you had...
143
00:08:02,344 --> 00:08:04,248
Gone to the great beyond?
144
00:08:06,556 --> 00:08:08,459
Ah, that boy never
gets anything right.
145
00:08:09,464 --> 00:08:11,445
It was my wife.
146
00:08:11,469 --> 00:08:13,440
Oh, I'm sorry.
147
00:08:15,146 --> 00:08:16,559
You know what I'm thinking?
148
00:08:16,583 --> 00:08:17,930
I hope so.
149
00:08:17,954 --> 00:08:20,938
It was a real pleasure
meeting you, sir.
150
00:08:20,962 --> 00:08:21,941
Bye.
151
00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:23,333
See you soon. Bye.
152
00:08:26,276 --> 00:08:28,358
What'd he mean by that?
153
00:08:28,382 --> 00:08:30,898
"Bye" is short for "goodbye."
154
00:08:30,923 --> 00:08:32,069
No, no, no.
155
00:08:32,093 --> 00:08:33,439
What did she mean when she said,
156
00:08:33,463 --> 00:08:34,876
"You know what I'm thinking?"
157
00:08:34,901 --> 00:08:37,852
And what did he mean
when he said, "I hope so"?
158
00:08:37,876 --> 00:08:40,626
Darrin, you're overwrought.
Here. Eat your hot dog.
159
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:43,634
I have got bad
vibrations about this.
160
00:08:43,658 --> 00:08:45,205
Hello again.
161
00:08:45,229 --> 00:08:46,965
And for a good reason.
162
00:08:50,075 --> 00:08:53,661
Aunt Millicent, heh, I want
you to meet, uh, Samantha
163
00:08:53,686 --> 00:08:55,400
and Grover Stephens,
164
00:08:55,424 --> 00:08:57,204
her husband's grandfather.
165
00:08:57,228 --> 00:08:58,942
Hi, Grover.
166
00:08:58,966 --> 00:09:00,413
Ma'am. Ma'am.
167
00:09:00,437 --> 00:09:02,619
You may call me Millicent.
168
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,226
Samantha, you can
do us a big favor.
169
00:09:05,250 --> 00:09:07,533
Um, Larry and I have
seen this picture before
170
00:09:07,557 --> 00:09:09,639
and... And he's getting
this migraine headache...
171
00:09:09,663 --> 00:09:12,814
Oh, well, then, I don't see
why we just don't all go home.
172
00:09:12,838 --> 00:09:15,086
Uh, because it's not
necessary, Millicent.
173
00:09:15,110 --> 00:09:16,558
I'm sure Sam and
Grover won't mind
174
00:09:16,582 --> 00:09:18,061
if you join them for the movie.
175
00:09:18,085 --> 00:09:19,633
Well, I wouldn't
want to intrude.
176
00:09:19,657 --> 00:09:21,572
It wouldn't be an intrusion.
177
00:09:21,596 --> 00:09:22,597
Would it, Sam?
178
00:09:25,105 --> 00:09:26,920
This is real sweet of you, Sam.
179
00:09:26,944 --> 00:09:29,025
Well, thank you, Grover. Grover.
180
00:09:29,049 --> 00:09:31,699
You can drop Millicent off at
our house on your way home.
181
00:09:31,723 --> 00:09:33,036
You have fun now.
182
00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:35,443
That's it.
183
00:09:35,467 --> 00:09:37,014
Now, you behave
yourself, you two.
184
00:09:37,038 --> 00:09:38,016
Oh.
185
00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,042
Bye.
186
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:43,432
Couldn't you persuade Grover
to come in for just a minute?
187
00:09:43,456 --> 00:09:46,240
We haven't had a chance to
say two words to each other.
188
00:09:46,264 --> 00:09:47,443
Hi, Sam. Hi.
189
00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:48,746
Where's Grover?
190
00:09:48,770 --> 00:09:49,749
He's sitting in the car.
191
00:09:49,773 --> 00:09:51,354
Well, have him come in.
192
00:09:51,378 --> 00:09:52,757
Just for a cup of coffee.
193
00:09:52,781 --> 00:09:54,062
Coffee keeps him awake.
194
00:09:54,086 --> 00:09:55,398
Oh, well, then cocoa.
195
00:09:55,422 --> 00:09:56,768
Cocoa puts him to sleep.
196
00:09:56,792 --> 00:09:58,406
Then tea.
197
00:09:58,430 --> 00:10:00,501
Yes, yes.
198
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:06,227
Come on in, Grover,
just for a few minutes.
199
00:10:06,251 --> 00:10:07,464
We'll have a cup of tea.
200
00:10:07,488 --> 00:10:09,492
I won't take no for an answer.
201
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:12,412
How'd you like the
movie, old-timer?
202
00:10:12,436 --> 00:10:14,706
Passable, for a talkie.
203
00:10:27,878 --> 00:10:29,325
I can't believe it.
204
00:10:29,349 --> 00:10:31,497
What are you staring at, sonny?
205
00:10:31,521 --> 00:10:33,637
The way you
straightened that picture.
206
00:10:33,661 --> 00:10:35,876
You know, your grandson, Darrin,
207
00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:37,514
does exactly the same thing
208
00:10:37,538 --> 00:10:39,687
every time he
walks into this room.
209
00:10:39,711 --> 00:10:42,895
Compulsive neatness
runs in the family.
210
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:44,801
It's scary.
211
00:10:44,825 --> 00:10:45,837
How do you like your tea?
212
00:10:45,861 --> 00:10:47,508
Stop yelling at me.
213
00:10:47,532 --> 00:10:48,879
Cream or lemon?
214
00:10:48,903 --> 00:10:50,550
I'll have my tea with brandy.
215
00:10:50,574 --> 00:10:52,221
With brandy?
216
00:10:52,245 --> 00:10:53,926
Okay, forget the tea.
217
00:10:53,950 --> 00:10:56,399
Just the brandy,
and make it a double.
218
00:10:56,423 --> 00:10:58,907
Make that two, Lawrence.
219
00:10:58,931 --> 00:10:59,942
Sam?
220
00:10:59,966 --> 00:11:01,247
I'm driving.
221
00:11:01,271 --> 00:11:03,887
I like a boy who takes
a nip now and then.
222
00:11:03,911 --> 00:11:05,291
Aunt Millicent.
223
00:11:05,315 --> 00:11:06,594
Well, I do.
224
00:11:06,618 --> 00:11:10,170
A man who has a taste for
brandy has a taste for life.
225
00:11:10,194 --> 00:11:13,413
So you live in Montana, Grover.
226
00:11:13,437 --> 00:11:15,218
What city?
227
00:11:15,242 --> 00:11:16,589
Butte.
228
00:11:16,613 --> 00:11:17,725
Butte?
229
00:11:17,749 --> 00:11:20,666
Well, isn't that a mindblower?
230
00:11:20,690 --> 00:11:23,674
One of my favorite spots
used to be Matthew's.
231
00:11:23,698 --> 00:11:25,346
On Front Street?
232
00:11:25,370 --> 00:11:26,349
Yes, indeedy.
233
00:11:26,373 --> 00:11:28,621
I stopped by there
just last week.
234
00:11:28,645 --> 00:11:30,961
Well, it was torn
down last year.
235
00:11:30,985 --> 00:11:32,332
Uh, uh...
236
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:35,407
Grandpa loves to
look at excavations.
237
00:11:35,431 --> 00:11:37,446
Samantha, I think we
should make a break for it.
238
00:11:37,470 --> 00:11:39,986
Okay, Grandpa. Up we go.
239
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,325
Now, stop calling him "Grandpa."
240
00:11:42,349 --> 00:11:44,666
You make him sound so old.
241
00:11:44,690 --> 00:11:46,436
I'm aging fast.
242
00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:47,573
Believe me.
243
00:11:47,597 --> 00:11:49,946
That's downer talk, Grover.
244
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,688
You're still a
groovy-looking boy.
245
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,195
Louise, I just had a great idea.
246
00:11:55,219 --> 00:11:56,832
You know my meeting
tomorrow night?
247
00:11:56,856 --> 00:11:58,036
What meeting?
248
00:11:58,060 --> 00:11:59,774
My meeting. My meeting.
249
00:11:59,798 --> 00:12:01,813
The meeting I can't miss.
250
00:12:01,837 --> 00:12:03,919
Oh, that meeting.
251
00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:05,356
Well, I can't miss the meeting.
252
00:12:05,380 --> 00:12:07,696
No point in letting
the tickets go to waste.
253
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:12,008
Why not give this groovy-looking
boy and this far-out chick
254
00:12:12,032 --> 00:12:14,281
our theater tickets
for tomorrow night?
255
00:12:14,305 --> 00:12:16,018
Well, now, don't
be pushy, Lawrence.
256
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:17,790
If Grover wants to ask me out,
257
00:12:17,814 --> 00:12:20,364
I guess he can
speak for himself.
258
00:12:20,388 --> 00:12:22,035
It's a great musical, Grover.
259
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:25,043
Uh, the truth
is... I've seen it.
260
00:12:25,067 --> 00:12:26,881
What do you mean you've seen it?
261
00:12:26,905 --> 00:12:28,955
I haven't even told
you the name of it yet.
262
00:12:28,979 --> 00:12:32,063
What... What Grandpa
means is... Is that they...
263
00:12:32,087 --> 00:12:34,803
They get all the road
companies in Butte.
264
00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:36,508
He's seen them all.
265
00:12:36,532 --> 00:12:37,846
Well, he hasn't seen this one
266
00:12:37,870 --> 00:12:40,709
because tomorrow
is opening night.
267
00:12:44,855 --> 00:12:47,071
How did I let myself
be talked into it?
268
00:12:47,095 --> 00:12:49,109
Look at the bright side
of things, sweetheart.
269
00:12:49,133 --> 00:12:51,383
It's supposed to
be a great musical.
270
00:12:51,407 --> 00:12:53,556
Don't even joke about it, Sam.
271
00:12:53,580 --> 00:12:55,883
I am not going out with
that overaged hippie.
272
00:12:57,624 --> 00:13:00,575
Mother, a-a joke is a joke.
273
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,945
Now, when I snap my fingers,
274
00:13:01,969 --> 00:13:04,107
I want you to appear
front and center.
275
00:13:05,646 --> 00:13:08,664
Is the novelty beginning
to wear off, Samantha?
276
00:13:08,688 --> 00:13:10,502
Mother, where are you?
277
00:13:10,526 --> 00:13:14,112
Is the novelty beginning
to wear off, Samantha?
278
00:13:14,136 --> 00:13:17,087
Mother, you better
materialize this instant.
279
00:13:17,112 --> 00:13:19,583
This is a recording.
280
00:13:22,024 --> 00:13:23,159
Funny.
281
00:13:24,164 --> 00:13:26,033
Well...
282
00:13:30,950 --> 00:13:33,532
Sam, I am coming very close
to the end of my breakfast
283
00:13:33,556 --> 00:13:36,173
and the end of my rope.
284
00:13:36,197 --> 00:13:37,744
Say something.
285
00:13:37,768 --> 00:13:38,880
Something.
286
00:13:38,904 --> 00:13:40,652
Sam.
287
00:13:40,676 --> 00:13:42,623
Just as soon as I get
in touch with Mother,
288
00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,028
you're going to hear plenty.
289
00:13:44,052 --> 00:13:47,203
"Soon" in your crowd could
mean a hundred years from now.
290
00:13:47,227 --> 00:13:49,910
I need a face
transplant by lunchtime.
291
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,615
Couldn't you postpone the lunch?
292
00:13:51,639 --> 00:13:52,718
Impossible.
293
00:13:52,742 --> 00:13:54,523
This is my first
meeting with Booker.
294
00:13:54,547 --> 00:13:55,693
He's on his way to Europe
295
00:13:55,717 --> 00:13:57,599
and will only be in town
for a couple of hours.
296
00:13:57,623 --> 00:14:01,142
So if I don't sell him at
lunch, it's goodbye, account.
297
00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:04,183
You are not going to let
Mother get away with this.
298
00:14:04,207 --> 00:14:06,556
You are going to that meeting.
299
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:09,064
How am I going to that meeting?
300
00:14:09,088 --> 00:14:12,172
Just get in your car and go.
301
00:14:12,196 --> 00:14:14,211
Well, you... You said
this is your first meeting
302
00:14:14,235 --> 00:14:15,749
with Booker, right?
303
00:14:15,773 --> 00:14:18,456
Now, I mean, he's never met you,
and you've never met him. Right?
304
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,628
Right. Then what's the problem?
305
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,233
If he doesn't know
what you look like,
306
00:14:22,257 --> 00:14:24,194
what's the difference
what you look like?
307
00:14:27,271 --> 00:14:29,274
Um, a Mr. Jennings Booker here?
308
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:34,555
Ah, thank you.
309
00:14:39,839 --> 00:14:41,219
Booker?
310
00:14:41,243 --> 00:14:42,255
Yeah?
311
00:14:42,279 --> 00:14:43,748
I'm Stephens.
312
00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:45,898
Stephens?
313
00:14:45,922 --> 00:14:48,004
W-Why do you say it that way?
314
00:14:48,028 --> 00:14:49,263
It's a good old American name.
315
00:14:51,204 --> 00:14:53,018
You were expecting
me, weren't you?
316
00:14:53,042 --> 00:14:54,889
Heh. Well, not exactly.
317
00:14:54,913 --> 00:14:56,828
I don't know where
I got the impression
318
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,533
that you'd be a younger man.
319
00:14:58,557 --> 00:15:01,341
Yes, I do. From Tate,
320
00:15:01,365 --> 00:15:04,338
who said he was assigning
young Stephens to the account.
321
00:15:06,311 --> 00:15:09,129
He always calls me
"young Stephens."
322
00:15:09,153 --> 00:15:10,699
Because I am young.
323
00:15:10,723 --> 00:15:14,143
In here and in here,
where it counts.
324
00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:17,853
Now, let's see how
the cookie crumbles.
325
00:15:17,877 --> 00:15:19,958
Beau Geste is
a line of toiletries
326
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:23,334
that appeals to the
18-to 25-year age group.
327
00:15:23,358 --> 00:15:25,072
Now, our motivational
research...
328
00:15:25,096 --> 00:15:26,343
Mr. Stephens? Mm. Yes?
329
00:15:26,367 --> 00:15:27,914
There is a call for you, sir.
330
00:15:27,938 --> 00:15:29,619
Oh, tha... Thank you.
331
00:15:29,643 --> 00:15:31,379
Uh, excuse me, Mr. Booker.
332
00:15:35,692 --> 00:15:37,729
Uh, thank you, sonny.
333
00:15:40,405 --> 00:15:41,385
Hello.
334
00:15:41,409 --> 00:15:43,089
Oh, sweetheart.
335
00:15:43,113 --> 00:15:45,296
I've been so worried.
How's it going?
336
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,402
As well as can be expected.
337
00:15:47,426 --> 00:15:48,838
Has Endora shown up yet?
338
00:15:48,862 --> 00:15:53,318
No, but... But I'm tossing
incantations all over the place.
339
00:15:53,342 --> 00:15:54,421
Well, keep at it.
340
00:15:54,445 --> 00:15:55,925
I'd better get
back to the table.
341
00:15:55,949 --> 00:15:57,863
My board meeting
ended early, Mr. Booker.
342
00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,267
And I thought
I'd join you fellas
343
00:15:59,291 --> 00:16:00,904
and see if I could help out.
344
00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:03,346
On second thought,
I'd better not.
345
00:16:03,370 --> 00:16:04,615
What is it?
346
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:06,854
Larry has just walked
into the restaurant,
347
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:08,393
and he's talking to Booker.
348
00:16:08,417 --> 00:16:10,119
Sam, what am I gonna do?
349
00:16:12,661 --> 00:16:14,342
You'll think of something.
350
00:16:14,366 --> 00:16:16,682
I'm thinking of
cutting my wrists.
351
00:16:16,706 --> 00:16:18,854
Darrin, don't panic.
352
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:20,359
Sam, I've gotta make a move.
353
00:16:20,383 --> 00:16:22,163
You have an idea?
354
00:16:22,187 --> 00:16:24,001
Now, don't
misunderstand me, Tate.
355
00:16:24,025 --> 00:16:26,342
I admire you for keeping
your employees on
356
00:16:26,366 --> 00:16:28,448
beyond the age of retirement.
357
00:16:28,472 --> 00:16:30,252
I'm not sure I follow you.
358
00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,827
Mm-hm.
359
00:16:32,851 --> 00:16:34,431
I'll do it.
360
00:16:34,455 --> 00:16:36,201
Now, hold on. Are...?
Are we talking about
361
00:16:36,225 --> 00:16:37,740
the same Darrin Stephens? Yes.
362
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:40,046
Age 70, bald head, mustache,
363
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:41,952
slightly hunched over.
364
00:16:41,976 --> 00:16:45,462
That is not, I repeat,
not Darrin Stephens.
365
00:16:45,486 --> 00:16:47,020
Then who is it?
366
00:16:48,058 --> 00:16:49,907
I haven't the vaguest idea.
367
00:16:49,931 --> 00:16:51,511
But I'm going to find out.
368
00:16:51,535 --> 00:16:53,383
There he is. That's him.
369
00:16:53,407 --> 00:16:54,385
Hi, kids.
370
00:16:54,409 --> 00:16:55,822
That's him?
371
00:16:55,846 --> 00:16:58,029
That's Grover Stephens,
Darrin's grandfather.
372
00:16:58,053 --> 00:16:59,634
That's me.
373
00:16:59,658 --> 00:17:03,009
Now, look, old-timer, I've been
brought up to respect old age,
374
00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:04,947
and it isn't really
very nice of you
375
00:17:04,971 --> 00:17:06,719
to pass yourself off as Darrin.
376
00:17:06,743 --> 00:17:09,327
Now, what's everybody
getting so het up about?
377
00:17:09,351 --> 00:17:11,499
Darrin got up this morning
with an infected throat
378
00:17:11,524 --> 00:17:14,240
that... That could
destroy the city.
379
00:17:14,264 --> 00:17:15,711
What could the kid do?
380
00:17:15,735 --> 00:17:17,516
He could've called the office.
381
00:17:17,540 --> 00:17:21,114
Whatever for when I'm available?
382
00:17:22,354 --> 00:17:23,766
Mr. Booker, I must apologize...
383
00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,106
We forgive you,
Lawrence, so just hush up.
384
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:27,409
Let's get cracking.
385
00:17:27,433 --> 00:17:29,181
The kid filled me in
as much as he could.
386
00:17:29,205 --> 00:17:30,719
Now, let's put
this in the gas tank
387
00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:31,977
and see how far it takes us.
388
00:17:33,350 --> 00:17:34,563
What I had in mind was
389
00:17:34,587 --> 00:17:37,459
a saturation
campaign for television.
390
00:17:38,531 --> 00:17:39,810
Uh, fade in.
391
00:17:39,834 --> 00:17:41,849
Interior, bathroom.
392
00:17:41,873 --> 00:17:44,591
A nice-looking boy with
glasses, the shy type,
393
00:17:44,615 --> 00:17:46,296
uh, has just finished shaving.
394
00:17:46,320 --> 00:17:48,434
For the first time
in his life, he...
395
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,573
He picks up a
bottle of Beau Geste
396
00:17:50,597 --> 00:17:53,348
and dabs a little on his face.
397
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,854
And boom!
398
00:17:55,878 --> 00:17:58,093
The bathroom becomes the Sahara.
399
00:17:58,117 --> 00:18:02,272
The boy turns into a member
of the French Foreign Legion.
400
00:18:02,296 --> 00:18:05,236
He's right in the
middle of a battle.
401
00:18:07,611 --> 00:18:10,595
But here's the switch:
402
00:18:10,619 --> 00:18:13,926
He's fighting off girls.
403
00:18:17,405 --> 00:18:20,523
Not bad for an old geezer, huh?
404
00:18:20,547 --> 00:18:22,651
You son of a gun.
405
00:18:25,995 --> 00:18:28,177
And when I finished
my presentation,
406
00:18:28,201 --> 00:18:30,117
Beau Geste was
in my back pocket.
407
00:18:30,141 --> 00:18:31,486
That's my old man.
408
00:18:31,510 --> 00:18:33,459
I bet Larry was thrilled.
409
00:18:33,483 --> 00:18:35,686
He offered to make
me Darrin's supervisor.
410
00:18:37,059 --> 00:18:38,573
You hear that, Mother?
411
00:18:38,597 --> 00:18:41,983
No matter what you do,
things seem to work out.
412
00:18:42,007 --> 00:18:45,692
So why don't you
undo your thing?
413
00:18:45,716 --> 00:18:47,297
That stubborn old
witch will never...
414
00:18:47,321 --> 00:18:48,566
Uh, Da...
415
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:51,007
Darrin, name-calling
is not going to help.
416
00:18:51,031 --> 00:18:54,016
Now, I know that Mother
can behave badly at times,
417
00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:59,563
but deep down,
she's... She's... Rotten.
418
00:18:59,587 --> 00:19:01,636
If you don't mind,
call Larry and tell him
419
00:19:01,660 --> 00:19:03,274
the date with Millicent is off.
420
00:19:03,298 --> 00:19:05,681
Grandpa has been called
home on an emergency.
421
00:19:05,705 --> 00:19:09,658
Oh, sweetheart, that
would break Millicent's heart.
422
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,051
She'll get over me.
423
00:19:17,637 --> 00:19:19,719
Hi, Sam. Well, what a surprise.
424
00:19:19,743 --> 00:19:22,727
Thought we'd save Grover a
trip and bring Millicent over here.
425
00:19:22,751 --> 00:19:24,733
We came early so I'd
have a chance to tell Darrin
426
00:19:24,757 --> 00:19:27,339
what a great job his
grandfather did this afternoon.
427
00:19:27,363 --> 00:19:29,412
Well, you c... You
can't. He's sound asleep.
428
00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,118
Oh, how's he feeling?
429
00:19:31,142 --> 00:19:34,393
Well, he's feeling better,
but he doesn't look so good.
430
00:19:34,417 --> 00:19:36,298
Oh, well, he'll be all right.
431
00:19:36,322 --> 00:19:38,438
Grover, you were
great this afternoon.
432
00:19:38,462 --> 00:19:40,109
Absolutely brilliant.
433
00:19:40,133 --> 00:19:41,312
Darrin briefed me.
434
00:19:41,336 --> 00:19:44,386
Oh, I'm so proud of you, Grover.
435
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:47,730
Ah, you may be proud,
Millicent, but I'm bushed.
436
00:19:47,754 --> 00:19:50,069
I'm afraid I just can't
make our date tonight.
437
00:19:50,093 --> 00:19:52,509
Oh, Grover. Oh.
438
00:19:52,534 --> 00:19:54,548
Oh... Oh, well, I-I'm
sure you understand.
439
00:19:54,572 --> 00:19:57,256
It's... It's all that
business activity.
440
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,429
Uh... Uh, Grandpa
just wants to relax
441
00:19:59,453 --> 00:20:01,201
in front of the television set.
442
00:20:01,225 --> 00:20:03,540
Oh, well, I'm sure Aunt
Millicent doesn't care
443
00:20:03,564 --> 00:20:06,270
one way or the other, as
long as they're together.
444
00:20:07,742 --> 00:20:09,858
I guess you'd like a drink.
445
00:20:09,882 --> 00:20:12,219
I'll go get some
more ice. Excuse me.
446
00:20:30,538 --> 00:20:33,322
Will someone answer
the door, please?
447
00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:34,949
I'll get it.
448
00:20:39,697 --> 00:20:41,244
Yes?
449
00:20:41,268 --> 00:20:44,910
Is that the way you
folks out here say hello?
450
00:20:46,917 --> 00:20:48,932
Hi there.
451
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,536
Hello. Hi.
452
00:20:50,561 --> 00:20:53,478
What's the matter, Grover?
Cat got your tongue?
453
00:20:53,502 --> 00:20:56,786
Uh, h-hello there.
454
00:20:56,810 --> 00:20:58,792
Forgot my name so soon?
455
00:20:58,816 --> 00:21:00,931
Well, you can't really
blame him, dearie.
456
00:21:00,955 --> 00:21:03,806
We've only been
married 53 years.
457
00:21:03,830 --> 00:21:04,942
Married?
458
00:21:04,966 --> 00:21:06,748
Married? Married?
459
00:21:06,772 --> 00:21:08,184
You can't say it too often.
460
00:21:08,209 --> 00:21:09,956
He needs reminding.
461
00:21:09,980 --> 00:21:11,216
Married?
462
00:21:12,988 --> 00:21:16,408
Okay, hot lips, I'm giving
you one more chance.
463
00:21:16,432 --> 00:21:18,614
And if I catch you
messing around again,
464
00:21:18,638 --> 00:21:20,652
I'm going home to Mother.
465
00:21:20,676 --> 00:21:24,597
All I was gonna do was
watch wrestling with her.
466
00:21:24,621 --> 00:21:26,301
You poor kid.
467
00:21:26,325 --> 00:21:29,611
He was pulling the old
wrestling bit on you, hm?
468
00:21:29,635 --> 00:21:31,950
And what is that
supposed to mean?
469
00:21:31,974 --> 00:21:34,256
First, you watch wrestling
470
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:38,802
and then he challenges you
to a little match on the sofa.
471
00:21:38,826 --> 00:21:42,947
Why... Louise, take me home.
472
00:21:42,971 --> 00:21:45,008
Oh! You degenerate.
473
00:21:46,381 --> 00:21:49,085
A man your age,
carrying on like that.
474
00:21:50,459 --> 00:21:51,893
And congratulations.
475
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:04,106
Sam, i-is that
really you in there?
476
00:22:04,130 --> 00:22:07,280
You bet your
old-age pension it is.
477
00:22:07,304 --> 00:22:08,317
Sam.
478
00:22:08,341 --> 00:22:11,859
Okay, hot lips.
479
00:22:11,883 --> 00:22:13,932
But I'm giving you
one more chance.
480
00:22:13,956 --> 00:22:17,007
And if I catch you
messing around again,
481
00:22:17,031 --> 00:22:18,734
I'm going home to Mother.
482
00:22:24,453 --> 00:22:26,333
Sweetheart,
483
00:22:26,357 --> 00:22:28,405
no matter how
atrocious and abominable
484
00:22:28,430 --> 00:22:29,442
my mother might behave,
485
00:22:29,466 --> 00:22:32,985
she always comes to her senses.
486
00:22:33,009 --> 00:22:34,912
Eventually.
487
00:22:36,452 --> 00:22:39,470
Usually.
488
00:22:39,494 --> 00:22:41,509
That's not what
I'm worried about.
489
00:22:41,533 --> 00:22:42,878
It isn't?
490
00:22:42,902 --> 00:22:43,949
No.
491
00:22:43,973 --> 00:22:45,587
Being turned into
Rip Van Wrinkle
492
00:22:45,611 --> 00:22:46,857
for a couple of days
493
00:22:46,881 --> 00:22:49,565
to satisfy your mother's
warped sense of humor
494
00:22:49,589 --> 00:22:51,904
isn't half as bad as wondering
what's gonna happen
495
00:22:51,928 --> 00:22:54,009
when I really do grow old.
496
00:22:54,034 --> 00:22:56,885
I mean, well, what's
it gonna look like?
497
00:22:56,909 --> 00:22:59,213
This old goat with
that young chick.
498
00:23:00,953 --> 00:23:03,436
Simple. We'll grow old together.
499
00:23:03,460 --> 00:23:06,143
But witches don't grow
old at the same pace as...
500
00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:09,519
Witches can do
anything they want to do.
501
00:23:09,543 --> 00:23:11,123
And I love you.
502
00:23:11,147 --> 00:23:13,697
So this young chick
and that old goat
503
00:23:13,721 --> 00:23:16,170
will look like a matched set.
504
00:23:16,194 --> 00:23:18,499
How about a little preview?
505
00:23:19,972 --> 00:23:21,441
How's that?
506
00:23:25,554 --> 00:23:27,468
I can't tell.
507
00:23:27,492 --> 00:23:28,494
Pucker up.
508
00:23:33,843 --> 00:23:36,482
You're an oldie but a goody.
509
00:23:38,490 --> 00:23:40,069
And as far as I'm concerned,
510
00:23:40,093 --> 00:23:43,535
you're still the sexiest
thing that ever lived.
511
00:23:45,575 --> 00:23:47,858
I can't stand it!
512
00:23:47,882 --> 00:23:49,028
Mother.
513
00:23:49,052 --> 00:23:51,267
Oh, it's ridiculous
having a daughter
514
00:23:51,291 --> 00:23:52,504
who looks twice my age.
515
00:23:52,528 --> 00:23:54,610
Now, you change
yourself at once.
516
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:55,747
No.
517
00:23:55,771 --> 00:23:57,451
I am gonna stay this way
518
00:23:57,475 --> 00:24:00,259
as long as Darrin
stays that way.
519
00:24:00,283 --> 00:24:01,930
Stubborn.
520
00:24:01,954 --> 00:24:03,557
Okay, Mother?
521
00:24:04,829 --> 00:24:06,944
Okay.
522
00:24:06,968 --> 00:24:08,503
One, two...
523
00:24:10,278 --> 00:24:11,679
Witch's honor?
524
00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:15,489
Witch's honor.
525
00:24:16,562 --> 00:24:18,096
One, two, three.
526
00:24:20,304 --> 00:24:22,140
Thank you, Mother, dear.
527
00:24:23,982 --> 00:24:28,002
Now, as for you,
Endora... Please, Darwood.
528
00:24:28,026 --> 00:24:31,600
Excessive gratitude
always embarrasses me.
529
00:24:35,012 --> 00:24:38,954
Now, uh, where were we?
36635
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