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1
00:00:00,960 --> 00:00:02,916
(Birdsong)
2
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- (Humming) Good afternoon.
- Mm. That looks nice, Mr Allington.
3
00:00:07,960 --> 00:00:11,032
- Yes, doesn't it?
- We thought we'd walk round the village.
4
00:00:11,120 --> 00:00:15,238
- Far too nice to be indoors.
- It is indeed, it is indeed.
5
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(# Come Up And See Me Sometime)
6
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# I believe that everyone in lifeshould have a mission
7
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,796
# Making people happyis the height of my ambition
8
00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:41,714
# When I get them happy,
well, they stay in that condition
9
00:00:42,600 --> 00:00:45,273
# I have a system all my own
10
00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,876
# I've got a lot, a lot of what I've got
11
00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,075
# And what I've got's all mine
12
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,230
(Car horn beeps)
13
00:00:56,320 --> 00:01:00,518
# And I assure youI can cure you if you're feeling blue
14
00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:04,074
# Come up and see me sometime
15
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:09,477
# I got a flat where you can hang your hat
16
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,397
# And I've got a brand-new line
17
00:01:15,120 --> 00:01:18,908
# And maybe you would like meto explain it all to you
18
00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:22,749
# Come up and see me sometime
19
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,910
# If you can take it
20
00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:28,151
# Come up and see me sometime
21
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,958
# Will you, toots? #
22
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:32,314
(Knock on door)
23
00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:36,394
Well, he's a very old tom cat
with a very mangy tail.
24
00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:39,438
- Hello, ladies.
- Oh, Maurice. How lovely to see you.
25
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,954
- Don't I get a kiss?
- Yes.
26
00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:46,591
- This is nice. You've been terribly busy.
- I just thought I'd set the scene.
27
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,956
Do you know, my aunt had a bed
exactly like that. Just the same colours.
28
00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:52,918
- I chose those colours.
- Did you? Very well chosen.
29
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:56,390
- Ooh, champagne! How lovely.
- Yes, I thought we could have some later.
30
00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:58,755
Sounds good.
31
00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,717
Right.
32
00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:08,192
I think it would be really rather nice
if we had some champagne now.
33
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:10,157
Champagne now.
34
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,471
Which way did you come?
35
00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:18,869
I came the way I usually come.
Down the high street.
36
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,155
Not down that street with the White Horse pub?
37
00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:24,630
- I don't know that way.
- It's a short cut. I'll show you sometime.
38
00:02:24,720 --> 00:02:27,393
Will you? Thank you.
I got here as fast I could, of course.
39
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:32,076
- Love your earrings.
- Do you? Jack gave them to me. (Giggles)
40
00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:34,594
- Oh!
- Ooh!
41
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,800
(Snorting and giggling)
42
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:44,353
(Diana) Do you know, I was wondering
the other day if I should get a pair of glasses.
43
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,431
(Joyce) Do you get headaches?
44
00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:49,751
I don't get headaches, but do you
get more short-sighted as you get older?
45
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,116
- Long-sighted. I'm long-sighted.
- I might be all right, then.
46
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,475
- Champagne.
- (Both) Thank you.
47
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,353
To us.
48
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,317
- To us.
- Cheers.
49
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,118
(Joyce) Mmm...
50
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:23,039
Well, what do you want us to do now?
51
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,680
Well, I thought that for a start,
52
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:29,036
we could, er...we could all take our clothes off.
53
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:31,111
Mmm. What a good idea.
54
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:28,717
(Diana) That's right.
55
00:04:41,280 --> 00:04:43,669
Hurry up, Maurice, for God's sake.
56
00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:46,228
- Isn't he slow?
- We're waiting.
57
00:05:02,680 --> 00:05:04,750
Here we are. Here we are.
58
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,592
Here we are.
59
00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,435
- Diana?
- What's the matter, Maurice?
60
00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:24,235
Oh, that's lovely.
61
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,997
Hey, could, er... Could you just...
62
00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,356
Listen, if you just move a little bit, then I can...
63
00:05:32,440 --> 00:05:36,149
I'd like to... I'd like to get in the middle.
Can I get in the middle?
64
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,789
- Maurice wants to get in the middle.
- We don't want him in the middle, do we?
65
00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:47,154
There's nothing for me to do.
66
00:05:47,240 --> 00:05:49,959
Maurice hasn't got anything to do.
67
00:05:50,040 --> 00:05:53,635
Well, he could bring the champagne over here.
68
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:56,109
Maurice? Get the champagne.
69
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,752
Shh.
70
00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:29,630
(Laughter continues)
71
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:43,554
- (Door opens)
- Whoops!
72
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:02,151
The champagne is just there,
should you require it.
73
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:10,116
(Joyce) Bye-bye, Maurice.
74
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:13,431
(# Sonia:: Counting Every Single Minuteplaying faintly)
75
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,513
(Joyce and Diana laughing)
76
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,991
- Too hot for anything, really.
- Yeah.
77
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:30,716
# Cos I'll soon be by your side
78
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,877
# Counting every single minute
79
00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,474
# Every second, every hour too
80
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:43,269
# Counting every single minute
81
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:46,750
(Dogs bark and music slows down)
82
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,673
(Shouts)
83
00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:55,590
If you'd like to sit down,
we could have a bit of a talk.
84
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:59,639
We're outside ordinary time in here
so that we won't be interrupted.
85
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:05,148
I thought things would look better
if I arranged them like this.
86
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:14,231
Are you a messenger?
87
00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:18,677
Oh, no. I decided to come in person.
88
00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,998
Please get up.
89
00:09:37,200 --> 00:09:39,509
May I, er...offer you a drink?
90
00:09:39,600 --> 00:09:43,036
Why not? I am fully corporeal.
91
00:09:43,120 --> 00:09:47,318
I was going to warn you against making the
mistake of supposing I came from your mind.
92
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,154
But you've saved me the trouble.
I'll join you in a small Scotch, if I may.
93
00:10:00,320 --> 00:10:03,392
Is this, er...some kind of test?
94
00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:05,152
- Water?
- No, thanks.
95
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:08,710
No. Why should it be?
You must know I don't work that way.
96
00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,077
Cheers.
97
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,636
But this isn't just a social call.
98
00:10:30,440 --> 00:10:34,194
- What is it, then?
- I like to make these trips every so often.
99
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:37,676
You're being mean, Maurice.
100
00:10:39,600 --> 00:10:41,830
Don't forget I know what everybody thinks.
101
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:50,391
- I know you don't entirely believe.
- Why have you chosen me?
102
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:54,757
Because you're a good security risk.
103
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:59,630
Ah. Drunk. Seeing ghosts, half off my head.
104
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:04,589
And not what anyone would take for a saint
or a mystic or anything. I do have to be careful.
105
00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,717
You make up all the rules, don't you?
106
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:11,759
It's because I make the rules
that I can't do just anything I like.
107
00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:15,831
Now. I want to talk to you about Underhill.
108
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,990
I want you to be very careful.
109
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,310
- Steer clear of him?
- Certainly not.
110
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,914
He's dangerous
but I want you to stand up to him.
111
00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,075
Er... I'm not sure that I'll do what you want.
112
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:37,871
I can be very hard on those
who don't behave as I feel they should.
113
00:11:37,960 --> 00:11:40,793
So it's all just a game.
114
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:45,158
Yes.
It took me some time to discover what I was
115
00:11:45,240 --> 00:11:47,151
and what I could do.
116
00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:48,992
Some of it's exciting.
117
00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:52,277
How about making life less hard for people
for a start?
118
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,468
No prospect of that, I'm afraid.
119
00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,792
I must be off.
120
00:12:01,520 --> 00:12:04,193
I've been self-indulgent already.
121
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:08,398
But one bit of advice.
Use the church where appropriate.
122
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:12,678
Your priest
has certain techniques at his disposal.
123
00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,513
Well, thanks for the whisky.
124
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:19,195
In return, is there any brief question
I can answer for you?
125
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,589
- Is there an afterlife?
- Hmm...
126
00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:24,114
You might call it that,
127
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,668
though it's not what you think it is.
128
00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,631
But you'll never be free of me.
129
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:33,558
Now, do you want to remember all this or...
130
00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,596
- Yes, I do.
- All right.
131
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,148
But keep it to yourself, Maurice.
132
00:12:38,240 --> 00:12:40,356
We'll meet again.
133
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,998
Oh...
134
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,150
A little keepsake.
135
00:12:54,760 --> 00:12:56,478
Beware of imitations.
136
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,194
Au revoir.
137
00:13:11,840 --> 00:13:14,354
(Dogs bark, pop music plays)
138
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,316
Amy, what time is it?
139
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:22,153
- 20 past four.
- By your watch.
140
00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,198
As I said before, 21 minutes past four.
141
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,795
20 to five. It was 19 minutes.
142
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:33,829
- Do you think I'd lie about the time now?
- No, no. I wanted it just right.
143
00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,115
- Give me a hand, would you?
- What have you lost?
144
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,431
Well, it's kind of a...silver thing.
145
00:13:39,520 --> 00:13:43,957
You know. It's under here somewhere.
Little thingumajig.
146
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,473
Do...
147
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:47,952
I've got it.
148
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:54,510
- Is that it?
- That's it.
149
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:56,716
That's it.
150
00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:00,071
Lucy? Lucy?
151
00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:03,516
Tonight,
try and get everybody in bed by midnight.
152
00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,750
I know you can't force them, but do your best.
153
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,549
I'm gonna ask David to try and get
all the clients off the premises by then.
154
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,551
- You're going to meet him.
- Yes, I am.
155
00:14:11,640 --> 00:14:14,234
Are you sure? Wouldn't you like a witness?
156
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,356
He won't come if there's anyone else.
157
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,477
- You will tell me everything that happens?
- Absolutely.
158
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:24,878
Take good care.
159
00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:29,278
(Joyce laughs)
160
00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:34,195
- We're just off for a drink in the village.
- And then we might go out to dinner.
161
00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,510
- When will you back?
- Not sure. Does it matter?
162
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:38,318
Don't wait up.
163
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,919
- Are there customers left in the dining room?
- It's still quite busy, Mr Allington.
164
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,959
- An early night after my father's funeral.
- Yes, of course. I understand.
165
00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,998
- Try and get it locked up by 11:30.
- Yes, I'll manage that.
166
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,548
Shouldn't be too much of a problem.
167
00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,676
(Man wheezing)
168
00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,671
(Chimes)
169
00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:41,477
Your brandies, gentlemen.
And may I present you with the bill?
170
00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:44,393
Not yet. I think we may want several of these,
don't you?
171
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,552
- Since you're paying.
- Oi. We've just been looking you up
172
00:16:47,640 --> 00:16:49,551
in The Good Food Guide.
173
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:53,349
''In an area which is surprisingly sparse
in good, country restaurants,
174
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,396
''here is a genuine delight.''
175
00:16:55,480 --> 00:17:00,634
- No, it isn't. Not ten miles from Cambridge.
- Feels more like 50.
176
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,190
There's been an inn on this site
since the Middle Ages
177
00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:06,840
from which parts of the present building dates.
178
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,195
Early Disneyland.
179
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,430
''There is or was at least one ghost.
180
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,593
''Mr Allington
will tell its story to the interested...''
181
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,150
- Oh, goody, goody!
- ''..and be your candid guide to the menu.''
182
00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:23,155
- So...
- So what?
183
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,834
- We're interested.
- In your story.
184
00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:27,876
I think that must be a mistake.
185
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:32,875
- It can't be a mistake. It's in the guide.
- It's far too late to tell any stories now.
186
00:17:32,960 --> 00:17:36,555
Listen, it says here
that you're a genial and accomplished host.
187
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,712
- Is that a mistake too?
- Maybe the bill's a mistake as well.
188
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:43,873
You're right, sir. The bill is a mistake.
An absolute and utter mistake.
189
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,918
Allow me to pay
for your entire meal this evening.
190
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,753
- What are you doing?
- There you are. Thank you and good night.
191
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,116
(Church bell tolling)
192
00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,200
I am come as I said I would.
193
00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:19,600
You have our silver friend about you.
194
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:37,390
Be so good as to place it on the table.
195
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:18,597
Now...
196
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,950
I propose to entertain you.
197
00:20:22,960 --> 00:20:24,951
May I ask a question?
198
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:31,832
Why have you chosen me to assist you,
or whatever it is you want me to do?
199
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:37,199
How have I chosen you? Well, it is you
that have each time come in search of me.
200
00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:40,116
Now I have done.
201
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:42,875
Follow me.
202
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:45,428
There are marvels in store.
203
00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:15,598
Is it not wondrous?
204
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:18,876
And does it not please you?
205
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,951
Do you see what I can do?
206
00:22:56,240 --> 00:22:58,196
And there's more.
207
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,439
Mmm...
208
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,193
(Water splashes)
209
00:26:05,680 --> 00:26:08,433
Underhill!
210
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:29,751
(Maurice) Amy.
211
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,032
Amy.
212
00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:37,111
Amy.
213
00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,356
(Maurice's voice) Amy.
214
00:27:59,000 --> 00:28:00,513
(Maurice's voice) Amy.
215
00:28:25,400 --> 00:28:27,868
(Amy, echoing) Daddy?
216
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:29,916
- Daddy?
- (Window banging)
217
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:34,998
Daddy?
218
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:47,315
(Amy) Daddy, where are you?
219
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:00,193
Amy!
220
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:04,030
Amy!
221
00:30:52,960 --> 00:30:54,916
Amy!
222
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,395
Amy!
223
00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:01,313
Amy, run!
224
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,550
Amy!
225
00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:32,957
(Screaming)
226
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:52,276
(Screaming)
227
00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,115
(Women screaming)
228
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:20,637
(Maurice) What could she have been doing
in the middle of the night?
229
00:33:20,720 --> 00:33:24,269
Pretending to sleepwalk, probably.
A lot of kids do it.
230
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,517
Trying to get a bit of attention from someone,
I should imagine.
231
00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:38,711
Funny injury, though.
232
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,034
So, how are you?
233
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:45,951
Oh, not so bad.
234
00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:50,669
Any more little birds?
235
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:53,590
Well, I'll be off, then.
236
00:33:56,400 --> 00:34:01,155
Listen, you bastard. I don't mind people enjoying
themselves any way they like within reason,
237
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:05,233
but screwing up other people's lives
is a different matter, Maurice.
238
00:34:05,320 --> 00:34:09,632
As your doctor and as your friend,
I treat you with respect.
239
00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:13,633
And, in return, you exaggerate
your drink problem and make it with my wife.
240
00:34:13,720 --> 00:34:17,508
And if there's two things I cannot stand,
it's hypocrites and actors.
241
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,797
You understand me? Yes, you do.
242
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:52,713
Dad?
243
00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,598
How are you?
244
00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:00,276
- Was I sleepwalking?
- Perhaps.
245
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:01,918
People do.
246
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:06,951
Was there a man chasing me?
247
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:08,758
No.
248
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,038
You were dreaming.
249
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,429
I don't think I was, was I?
250
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:21,793
No.
251
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,791
Amy, it was real.
252
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:25,472
Thanks, Dad.
253
00:35:28,800 --> 00:35:30,552
You bastard.
254
00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,037
(# Gospel music)
255
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:46,430
- Hello.
- Hello. Is the rector at home?
256
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,278
- Who are you?
- I'm one of his parishioners.
257
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,954
- His what?
- Parishioners.
258
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:56,555
One of the people who live in his parish.
I'm one of his flock.
259
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:58,676
(Sonnenschein) Gary, who is it?
260
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,832
Good morning, Reverend. May I come in?
261
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:04,229
Maurice Allington.
262
00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:06,709
- Ah, Mr Allington. Come on in.
- Thank you.
263
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,472
- How are you?
- Fine, thank you.
264
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:10,118
Take a pew.
265
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:16,158
- Now, what's the trouble?
- You sound like a real rector.
266
00:36:16,240 --> 00:36:20,950
Well, there are two things really.
Firstly, the seventh centenary
267
00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,510
of the foundation of my house The Green Man
falls next month.
268
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:27,398
- Perhaps you're familiar with parish records.
- A little.
269
00:36:27,480 --> 00:36:31,189
I thought I'd like to throw a big party
to celebrate the event.
270
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:34,078
- A party?
- Ask anybody you like. Gary?
271
00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:36,435
Could I invite my bishop? He's an old sweetie.
272
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,956
You can invite the moderator
of the Free Church of Scotland if you like.
273
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:42,918
- I'll send you a formal invitation.
- Terrific.
274
00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:45,912
Secondly, I'd like you to do an exorcism for me.
275
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:49,030
- I'm sorry?
- An exorcism.
276
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,749
- It's a religious ritual to get rid of ghosts.
- You're joking.
277
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:54,796
I'm serious.
278
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:59,032
- Not still going on about ghosts? Really?
- Really. Otherwise I wouldn't bother you.
279
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:03,033
You don't honestly think some religious
mumbo jumbo's gonna have any effect?
280
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:08,956
I'd like to give it a try. I'd be very grateful
if you'd just run through the service for me.
281
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:13,113
Well, I could find out
who the diocesan exorcist is.
282
00:37:13,200 --> 00:37:16,317
- What, each diocese has its own exorcist?
- Yes.
283
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,470
I'll go and look up his number for you.
284
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:22,314
There's no time. It has to be done now.
I want it done now, so you'll have to do it.
285
00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:25,198
It's upsetting to find an educated man
carrying on like this.
286
00:37:25,280 --> 00:37:27,794
It is, yes.
Do you need any special paraphernalia?
287
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:30,599
- For goodness' sake!
- This is an emergency.
288
00:37:31,800 --> 00:37:34,758
I suppose if one's going to do it,
one might as well do it properly.
289
00:37:34,840 --> 00:37:36,990
I'll go and get the goodies.
290
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:44,549
Right.
291
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:57,157
Right, then I've got to bless the mixture.
292
00:37:59,680 --> 00:38:04,470
Erm... Almighty Father, look with mercy
on this, your creature of salt and water,
293
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:06,869
and of your loving kindness sanctified.
294
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,952
Wherever it shall be sprinkled
with the invocation of your holy name,
295
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,156
may the attacks of evil spirits be repelled
296
00:38:12,240 --> 00:38:15,152
in the name of the Father,
and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
297
00:38:15,240 --> 00:38:18,038
Amen. Right. Now I can start the exorcism.
298
00:38:18,120 --> 00:38:20,111
Start. Come on. Soon as you're ready.
299
00:38:20,200 --> 00:38:23,510
(Underhill) What are you about?
Would you destroy me?
300
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:26,194
I offer you the way of great riches.
301
00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:29,113
- Go on, Vicar. Start it, start it.
- (Vicar) Right.
302
00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:33,078
I exorcise all influence and seeds of evil
303
00:38:33,160 --> 00:38:37,915
in the name of the Father and of the Son
and of the Holy Ghost.
304
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,719
I lay upon them the power of God's holy church
305
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:44,793
that they may be bound first with chains
and cast into outer darkness
306
00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:47,838
until the day of repentance and judgment.
307
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:53,438
(Underhill) I shall be nothing?
I am denied repentance?
308
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:55,750
Can one man do this to another?
309
00:38:56,520 --> 00:39:00,638
I offer you the power of self-perpetuation.
310
00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:05,032
I'll teach you peace of mind.
311
00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:22,036
(Screaming)
312
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:26,395
(Screaming)
313
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:30,915
(Exorcism prayer continues, indistinct)
314
00:39:31,640 --> 00:39:34,598
Deliver this house from all evil spirits,
315
00:39:34,680 --> 00:39:37,717
all vain imaginations and phantasms...
316
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:47,676
(Maurice) He's going, he's going!
317
00:39:48,640 --> 00:39:51,234
- (Vicar) Sorry, did you say something?
- Go on, go on!
318
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:55,154
- No, are you all right?
- Yes. Is there much more?
319
00:39:55,240 --> 00:39:57,276
Just a couple of sentences.
320
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:04,515
Er... Visit, O Lord, we beseech thee,
321
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:06,113
this room.
322
00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,749
Let the holy angels dwell herein
323
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,400
to preserve us in peace,
324
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,836
and may thy blessing be on us for evermore.
325
00:40:15,920 --> 00:40:19,549
Through Jesus Christ Our Lord...
326
00:40:20,560 --> 00:40:22,391
amen.
327
00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:26,115
Right. That's it.
328
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,235
Are you feeling any better?
329
00:40:33,720 --> 00:40:35,039
Yes.
330
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:40,110
- Did you feel anything?
- Er... No, nothing.
331
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:47,158
Maurice?
If you have a minute, I need to talk to you.
332
00:40:47,240 --> 00:40:49,231
Well, I was going...going...
333
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,474
- Well, I'll... Just give me a second.
- Fine.
334
00:40:57,960 --> 00:40:59,916
What is it?
335
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:03,111
I'm quitting, Maurice.
336
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,598
Er... Any particular reason?
337
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:12,513
Yes, I...I can't keep trying.
338
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:16,593
- Trying what? Trying to do what?
- To love you, Maurice. You won't let me.
339
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,638
You have your ideas about things
and they'll always be the same.
340
00:41:19,720 --> 00:41:22,678
It's no use trying to love someone
when they're doing something else.
341
00:41:22,760 --> 00:41:25,115
- This week...
- Has been no different from any other
342
00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,031
as far as I'm concerned!
343
00:41:27,120 --> 00:41:29,270
I don't know what you think about people.
344
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:31,954
You don't say but you go on as if
they're all in the way.
345
00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:35,032
Except for sex, and that's just
to get them out of the way for a bit.
346
00:41:35,120 --> 00:41:38,430
How the hell could you ask me
to come to bed with you and Diana?
347
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,592
- I thought you enjoyed it.
- I did. It was wonderful.
348
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,274
But you lied to both of us.
That's so disrespectful.
349
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:46,237
Diana's my friend.
350
00:41:48,440 --> 00:41:49,953
We're...
351
00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:54,397
We're... We're going to London,
and to hell with you and Jack.
352
00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:58,029
- So that's what Jack was talking about.
- Don't smirk. It's not sex.
353
00:41:58,120 --> 00:42:01,237
Of course that's how it strikes you.
It's about being with someone.
354
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:06,918
Well... What about Amy?
355
00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:09,275
She won't miss me that much.
356
00:42:11,400 --> 00:42:15,439
If we'd ever felt like a family,
if we'd ever had a child of our own,
357
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,556
perhaps that would have made us last.
358
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,673
Look, darling...
359
00:42:21,760 --> 00:42:24,035
suppose...
360
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:27,078
suppose that I made a real effort.
361
00:42:32,200 --> 00:42:33,679
Mm?
362
00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,312
Mm?
363
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:48,113
Mm?
364
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:59,515
No, an effort's no good, Maurice.
You'd soon forget to make it.
365
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:09,716
I'm really sorry, Joyce.
366
00:43:15,400 --> 00:43:19,075
Would you please go now?
The vicar's waiting for you.
367
00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:22,238
Please.
368
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,075
(Sonnenschein) Just a minute.
Where are we going?
369
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,278
(Maurice) Another call to make.
Exorcism again. In the wood up there.
370
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:55,396
You want me to do a wood?
371
00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,269
What an extraordinary place.
372
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,390
- Here.
- Thanks.
373
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:11,232
Holy water.
374
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,118
Right. Do you want me to do it over this?
375
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:15,838
Yes, please.
376
00:44:16,600 --> 00:44:19,672
In the name of the Father and of the Son
377
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:21,716
and of the Holy Ghost,
378
00:44:21,800 --> 00:44:26,555
I command you, unclean spirits,
depart from this place.
379
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:30,633
Remember, thou accursed spirit,
your sentence and your judgment.
380
00:44:30,720 --> 00:44:32,631
(Thunder rumbles)
381
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:36,599
Remember the day to be at hand
wherein you shall burn in fire everlasting.
382
00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:39,956
I command thee in the authority of Christ
383
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,918
to go now to thy appointed place.
384
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:45,119
Look out!
385
00:44:46,880 --> 00:44:49,075
- Help!
- Hold on.
386
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:01,359
Help!
387
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:10,677
Help!
388
00:45:10,760 --> 00:45:13,558
(Gasping)
389
00:45:22,400 --> 00:45:24,868
- You all right?
- I think so.
390
00:45:26,520 --> 00:45:29,080
Come on. Let's get out of here.
391
00:45:36,040 --> 00:45:39,191
My God.
I've never been so terrified in all my life.
392
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:42,556
Oh... Come on. Let's get out of here quickly.
393
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:46,872
Oh, God. What the hell do you think it was?
What was it?
394
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,112
You've not had much luck with your wives,
have you, Dad?
395
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:58,112
Maybe that's because
you don't give them enough treats.
396
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:03,710
I've worked out what we'll do.
397
00:46:03,800 --> 00:46:07,588
I'm 14. I'm quite good at cooking already.
398
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,240
I can learn more by watching in the kitchen.
399
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:14,871
(Maurice) Things have sorted themselves outafter a fashion, or some things have.
400
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:20,080
I can still feel my heart beating, moving to thepoint where it starts to flutter and stumble.
401
00:46:21,200 --> 00:46:26,069
- We can start to do things like the accounts.
- Oh, I'm not much good.
402
00:46:26,160 --> 00:46:28,549
I'm sentimental, I'm insincere.
403
00:46:28,640 --> 00:46:31,473
I keep promising to behave betterand I never do.
404
00:46:31,560 --> 00:46:35,235
And tomorrow is another week,
and I've got to phone about the car insurance
405
00:46:35,320 --> 00:46:38,278
and talk to the solicitor about Gramps' will.
406
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:40,828
And I've got to fetch the meatand bank the takings.
407
00:46:40,920 --> 00:46:43,957
And there's selling the placeand looking for another.
408
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:47,635
And, of course,
there's finding somebody to go to bed with.
409
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:54,433
I'm beginning to thinkthat death might offer something after all.
410
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:57,478
It'll be my means of getting away,
411
00:46:57,560 --> 00:46:59,630
getting away for good from this body,
412
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:04,032
from this rather ruthless,
ineffective person that's me.
413
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,634
Much sooner than I could have expected,
414
00:47:06,720 --> 00:47:10,633
I've come to believethat there is something beyond death after all.
415
00:47:10,720 --> 00:47:13,917
And, whatever it is,I know I'll never be free of it.
416
00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:17,758
But at least I'll be free of Maurice Allington.
417
00:47:21,280 --> 00:47:23,157
(# Swing music)
418
00:47:23,240 --> 00:47:25,196
(Chatter)
31447
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