All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S13E19.1080p.WEB.H264-CAKES

Okay, this ketchup
is full and...

Oh, no, Gene, watch out,
he's attacking your ketchup!

Oh, my gosh,
it's a ketchup battle!

Did we even know these two
were archenemies?

Aah! My ketchup is a pacifist!

Louise, please don't
fight with the ketchup.

Or it becomes our
restaurant's new thing

and we finally get rich?

-No. -Yes.

- Hey, guys. -Hey, Teddy.
- Teddy!

-Hi. -Hello to you.

Hey, Teddy.

Wow. Thirsty, Linda?
Also, water? Ew.

Oh, boy, here it comes.

It's part of this whole
thing Ginger told me about.

She read an article
that said it takes 21 days

to form a new habit.

So, my new healthy habit
is drinking more water.

That's great, Linda. Not
worth it, but good for you.

Yeah. I just have
to train myself

to drink ten glasses of water
a day for the rest of my life.

Ten is a lot. I-I
think I drink one?

- A-And it's coffee.
- So, what are we having, Teddy?

I actually need to get
my food to go today.

Oh, why aren't you eating here?

- Too much water talk.
- Sort of, but also,

I got to head out
to the rec center

to work on a wrestling ring.

Wait, wait. A wrestling ring?

- For what?
- And don't say wrestling.

It's for the Crustacean
Nation Wrestling Federation.

They're a group of local
performance artists who dress up

like crabs and lobsters
and stuff, and then they fight.

What? This is
happening in our town?

Our dumb town is cool?

Yeah, I think it started
at Lobsterfest one year

and it just kept going.

Why wouldn't it?
Teddy, do you get to see

any giant, fighting crabs when
you're working on the ring?

Oh, yeah. You know they're
people in costumes, right?

I-I said that, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take me with you.

I want to see giant
crab people fight.

I mean, I also want to see
them start a calypso band,

but I'll take what I can get.

I'm a fan of the
wrestling butts.

- I mean, arts.
- What do you think, Bob?

It might be a
cultural experience?

Come on, Dad. Listen
to your hydrated wife.

- Okay, fine, go.
- Yes!

But don't do stuff
that's not good.

- Well put.
- Uh, okay. Taking kids to a job.

That's a responsible and
probably fine thing to do.

And while you kids are
out, your mom's gonna drink

six more glasses of water.

So we're both gonna
have a cool day.

Okay, now,

don't step on anything sharp

and don't stand
near anything heavy

and if anyone says, "Hey,
you're not supposed to be here,"

- just run.
- Rules to live by.

And maybe keep kind of quiet.

- Holy crap!
- I think you mean, "holy crab"?

Okay, I'm gonna get
working on the ring

and also pretend I
don't know you guys.

Hello, I'm Gene.
I'm allergic to you.

So we're
thinking grand slam, riptide,

crabby-jabby-power-up, and
then claw-drop and we're out.

Such a beautiful language.

Hmm. It still feels like
it's missing something.

Maybe a few pinch-clinchers?

You're gonna bring down the
house with a pinch-clincher?

Um, what if you guys did, like,

a body-switch
decapitation-type move?

- What's that?
- What?

Like, say, you
bite off his head,

and he bites off your head,

then you guys switch heads

and then start doing
each other's moves.

Or forget it. Never
mind. Tina, stop talking.

- What?
- Uh, who are you?

- Um...
- Uh...

- Run!
- Sorry, Carol.

Sorry. Kids, uh, this is Carol.

She's the, uh...

Creative director
and show announcer

for Crustacean Nation.

Teddy, I didn't know
you were a dad.

He's not our dad.
He just took us here

- from our home.
- Okay.

- But he's friends with our dad.
- Best friends.

A lot of people
say best friends.

The kids wanted to
come see the wrestlers,

but I can make them wait
in the back of my truck.

That's safe, right?

Well, hold on. I
sort of want to hear

the rest of this
bunny kid's idea.

You're saying
actually switch heads?

Um, yeah. Switch
heads and switch moves.

Hmm. Could try it.

Those heads come
off pretty easy, right?

- Uh-huh.
- Go rip each other's heads off.

- Okay.
- All right, I'm gonna step back

over here and keep doing
a really good job. Goodbye.

- -Thanks, kid.
- Oh, boy, the Nautilus

just got stuck in
the door again.

Hold on, Devon. Don't move.

You're gonna tear
your umbilicus.

- Excuse me, folks.
- Wait, uh, Carol.

What if someone like
us... someone just like us...

Wanted to be in the
show, to wrestle?

Oh, I don't know.
Actually wrestling?

I mean, for starters,
you're a kid, no offense.

And you, or this someone,
would need a costume.

That's kind of a big
part of our deal here.

Oh, wow, come to think
of it, we have costumes.

Sea cucumber costumes.

We do? Oh, you mean
our pickle costumes?

No, our sea cucumber costumes.

Remember our really great
sea cucumber costumes?

She says pickle when
she means sea cucumber.

And we could write a story
line that you're just gonna love.

Especially if you
love calypso music.

Huh. I mean, your head-switch
idea was pretty good.

Tell you what, next
practice is Tuesday at 4:00.

Come with your
costumes and ideas.

If I like it, maybe
I'll give you a shot

at our show on Saturday.

- Yes.
- Uh, a little help?

- Uh, a little...
- Sorry, Devon. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Ugh, he needs to come
out of his shell. Literally.

- Wait, what are we doing?
- Tina, Gene,

would you make me the
happiest girl in the world

by dressing up as sea
cucumbers and wrestling with me?

Wear a costume and be loud
and have people look at me?

- I'm in, sister.
- I mean, I guess so.

I do like sea cucumbers.

It'd be an honor to tell their
story. Through, uh, wrestling.

- Yes! Wresting!
- Wrestling!

Wrestling! But also,

we should probably ask
Mom and Dad if it's okay first?

- Oh, yeah. We'll ask, we'll ask.
- Wrestling!

- Wrestling!
- Wrestling!

Who
brought those noisy kids, huh?

Geez. Mm.

O-Okay, just to make
sure, you kids are only

wrestling each other, right?

We're not being
bad parents, are we?

By letting you take
part in an underground

crustacean-themed
wrestling show?

I don't know, Dad.

We'll wrestle whoever
we need to wrestle.

We don't want to be
the newbies who are like,

"Oh, I'm only wrestling kids

because I'm a kid
and I could get hurt."

But that's exactly
what I want you to say.

Okay, let's talk
about our characters.

Gene, you're gonna be the diva.

- That sounds right.
- And you're purple

because it totally makes
sense for your character

and also because
that was the only color

Mom had left back when
she made that costume.

I'm violent and I'm violet.

Tina, you're the
mysterious badass.

That checks out.

And I'll be the wild card.

Also, Mom, I've done
some sketches here,

how to make these pickles
more sea cucumbery.

Then there's this
giant cardboard stroller.

- 'Cause we're also babies.
- Why are we babies?

'Cause we're small.
And we're radioactive.

- Why are we radioactive?
- Tina, it all makes sense.

Mom, work your magic.
I know you can do it.

Uh, okay. Hold on,
I got to pee.

- Again?
- Yes. Ten glasses of water a day.

Which turns out that means
I'm never not in the bathroom.

Louise, did you say
"giant cardboard stroller"?

Yes, I did. But with
no pee on it, please.

And then Tina swings Gene

into me, trying to
knock me down.

But I drop to the ground
and steamroll towards her,

with sparklers.
That's the radiation.

And then we all fall into
a big pile and explode.

We'll get Teddy
on pyro for that.

We also do an interpretive
dance at the end

- for a solid ten minutes.
- Not sure about that.

Oh, and picture our
costumes different.

Our Mom's not done yet.

Uh-huh. Okay, first, we
really need to simplify.

And no fire or explosives.

- I feel I shouldn't have to say that.
- Then don't.

Carol, my roommate accidentally
ran over my tail with her Vespa.

- Again?
- Yeah.

Roommates, huh?

Aw, look at you. And look
at me at how good I did

- on these costumes, huh?
- Sorry we both can't go.

It's okay. You won the
bun toss fair and square.

Always bet on bottom.

Aw, my little capricious
sea cucumbers.

- Okay.
- And I hope there's no capricious activity

at the wrestling match.

Ugh, the "new vocabulary
word every day" habit

is so much better than
the drinking water habit.

But Lin, isn't the whole
point of the 21-day habit thing

to stick with it for 21 days?

Oh, Bob. Stop being capricious.

What does capricious mean?

It's complicated.
It's-it's hard to explain.

I believe it comes from
the root word "capri pants."

Loving the chitchat, but
we got to go get crusty

- with some 'staceans, so...
- Okay. Have fun.

Don't break a chair
on each other's faces.

Or staple each
other. Capricious.

Oh! After

a jaw-dropping
decapitation-head-switch,

Captain Isopod
has kicked the krill

out of Lord Spider Crab using
the crab's own signature move.

That was my idea.
I made that happen.

We're up
next. We feeling good?

We feeling salty?

W-Wait, do I start with
a grab and then swing

- or-or swing and then grab?
- Grab and then swing.

Come on, we got
to get into position.

Okay, inverti-fans, we've
got some special guests

making their debut
in the ring today.

So, put your
claws together for...

the Barbaric Radioactive
Baby Sea Cucumbers!

Yeah!

Uh-oh. Seems like we've
woken up these baby sea cukes

from their nap, and
they do not look happy.

Now they're
fighting over a rattle.

Glad I'm up here.

Bust out.

Ow!

Whoa!

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, so vicious, sort of.

- Aah! My shades.
- Leave the shades.

Hit the ropes.
Cucumber Crush. Go, go.

Ah... Oh, crap.

Dang it. That was bad.

- Boo!
- Sloppy!

- Ow! -
- BOB: Oh, boy.

Don't worry, I got this.

- Gene, no.
- Now I'm seeing

what I believe is some
sort of terrifying dancing?

Cucumber
pile. Cucumber pile.

Wait, do I go
over... Which side do I...

Aah! I'm stuck!

Ay, ay, ay, ay.

Wait, wait, no, no, no!

I told you kids
to keep it simple.

You're lucky that
none of you got hurt.

Yes, I'm happy about that.
That would not have been good.

For me, as the person
who let you do this.

Look, maybe there's a reason

they don't usually use
kids in combat sports.

Ring held up pretty
good. Just saying.

So, great work, Teddy.

Yep, okay. Uh, nice meeting you.

- Sorry, Louise.
- Wait.

I just, uh... That
was not our best stuff.

I mean, we have a whole
other chapter in our story

that we didn't get to yet

- that's way better.
- Is that so?

Yes. Their battle
with the, um...

- Sea Sponge.
- The Sea Sponge?

Yeah, the Sea Sponge.
Who is, uh, this guy.

- This guy, like, this guy?
- It's funny when he pretends

we haven't already
discussed this.

So, please give
us another chance?

I know we can be great.

Okay. I'll give
you one more chance.

There's something there.

It's really, really
bad right now.

But maybe it could be
not really, really bad.

- Good feedback, good feedback.
- Yes! Thank you.

Can we get these things off
now? My pickle is starting to tickle.

- Lin? W-What are you doing?
- I'm fixing my posture.

The vocabulary thing was,
uh, you know, what's the word?

Vocabulary-tastic?

Dumb. This is a better one.

In 21 days, my whole
body'll be reorganized.

And also, Bob,
while I'm doing this,

will you hold my
chin in like this?

All right, but I don't know

- if I can do it for 21 days.
- Oh, you're so busy?

Anyway, I'm thinking Teddy
the Sea Sponge is our nemesis

because he absorbed
our parents to death.

Mom, how many
sponges do we have?

'Cause we're gonna
need all of them plus 300.

Tina, Gene, you need
to cancel all your plans.

We have to be
completely devoted to this.

- Uh...
- You're right, that's not enough.

Freakishly devoted to
this. Now let's get to work.

Hello, ma'am. How are you?

Did you know sea
cucumbers shoot sticky threads

from their butts as
a form of defense?

They look like butt noodles.

We're definitely doing that.

All climb on the ropes,

jump at the Sinister Sea Sponge,

which we'll totally
nail, he catches us,

spins around and we take him down.

We call it the Triple Cuke Nuke.

All I'm gonna say is
of all the acts I have,

yours is the one I'm
the most worried about.

- Okay.
- Makes sense.

And the Sinister Sea Sponge

has one of the baby cukes
caught up in his spin cycle.

Kill him! What? I
got to floss after I eat.

21-day habit. I
just had popcorn.

Oh, okay. You turned away.

Uh-oh! He's got
all three sea cukes

cornered at the post.

It doesn't look good.

But wait...
The sea cucumbers

just pulled noodles
from their butts,

which, I believe,
is their natural,

biological form of defense.

And now the sea
cukes are stunning

the Sinister Sea Sponge

with their super-charged
toxic butt noodles!

Aah! Butt noodles!

Triple Cuke Nuke. Now!

- Finish him!
- Jump!

Call the coast guard!

An amazing feat
that kind of worked.

Give it up for the Barbaric

Radioactive Baby Sea Cucumbers

and their deadly butt noodles!

Butt noodles! Butt noodles!

Butt noodles!
Butt noodles! Butt noodles!

Shell yes, you love us!

Butt noodles! Butt noodles!

- Yeah!
- Butt noodles! Butt noodles!

That was incredible. Do
they give Academy Awards

- for wrestling?
- Don't get me wrong,

I love the attention.

But I also think I might
need a new tailbone.

Yeah, I thought
wrestling was supposed

to be more fake
and less bruisey?

That's just our bodies
breaking. You'll get used to it.

- Cool, cool, cool.
- Yay.

And we'll just keep
practicing and working harder

until eventually, someone
makes action figures of us.

Great, I love practicing more

- and working harder.
- Uh-huh. -Mm-hmm.

Well, guys, the Radioactive
Barbaric Baby Sea Cucumbers

have become the fan
favorites of Crustacean Nation.

So that's why I'm moving
you to the end of the show.

You guys are
gonna be the closers.

- Seriously?
- Wow. So cool.

Um, hey just curious.

How many more shows are we,
um, going to be doing, exactly?

Love that question.
Very fresh, very now.

Well, we've got our
residency at the rec center

for another couple of weeks,
and then we go on the road.

- Fantastic. -Great...
- You don't say?

Okay, well, I got
to go spray-paint

angry eyebrows on an isopod.

See you at the next
practice, show closers.

- Bye, Carol!
- Bye, Carol. -Bye, Carol.

Show closers? Is this real?

Is this happening?
Tina, slap me.

- Uh, fake slap or real slap?
- Real slap.

- -Ow.
- Should've said fake slap.

- But yeah.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

- Hey, everybody.
- Hey, Teddy. -Hi, Teddy.

- There he is.
- You're looking a little stiff, Teddy.

- You okay?
- Oh, sure.

Just, uh, being a
Sinister Sea Sponge

is kind of doing a
number on my back.

- What number?
- Well, good news, Teddy.

Gene, Tina, drumroll?

We got asked to headline
the show next week.

Oh, that's great.

Linda, can I get a
straw for my coffee?

I can't tilt my head so good.

Sure. Lunges!

W-What's going on? W-What
are What are you doing?

I'm getting my heart
rate up. It's my new habit.

Short bursts of
intense exercise.

- Hmm.
- I've been lunging everywhere.

It's a fun way to get around.

Okay, time to head to practice.

We're going in
a little early today

so we can work on nailing
the Triple Cuke Nuke,

which will probably become

the most famous
wrestling move in history,

once we can do it without
one of us falling on their face

and Gene farting that one time.

Um, I was sort of
hoping to take a break

from one or two practices

to do anything
else for a little bit.

- What?
- Yeah, this wrestling stuff is all the time.

I've already cut out
homework, but now

- my TV-watching is starting to suffer.
- Whoa, whoa, guys.

We've found something
that we're really good at.

And that thing is dressing
up like sea cucumbers

and fighting each other.

So now we just have to become

the best at it we
possibly can be.

- We owe it to the world.
- Ugh, fine.

But the world better send us
an amazing thank-you card.

- Squats! And squat, and squat.
- Aah! That was loud.

Okay, first night as closers.

Just do exactly what we
did in practice, but way better

and different and correctly
and without crying, Teddy.

I know you're
passionate, but come on.

- Right.
- Okay.

Let's go set up the stroller.

Teddy, I'll see you
on the other side.

- Heaven?
- No, in the ring?

Sure. I'm not gonna die.

It's fine that we closed
the restaurant for this, right?

Is this what it's like
when your kids do sports?

- Is this sports?
- Sorry, Bob,

I didn't listen to
what you just said.

- I'm trying to be in the moment.
- No, I-I know.

- This is the habit that's gonna stick.
- Mm-hmm.

Because all I have
to do is be mindful.

- And in the moment.
- Are you supposed to keep saying

you're being in the moment
when you're being in the moment?

Leave me alone! Moment.

Ooh! Maximum
Mussel really brought the muscle

to the Horseshoe Hurricane.

- Oh, boy.
- All right,

time for the final fight:

your favorite
violent sea veggies.

Let's bring 'em out!

Butt noodles! Butt noodles!

Butt
noodles! Butt noodles!

Guys, we are butt noodle
gods. Let's give them a show.

- Time to go cucular.
- Okay.

And here
they are. It's the Barbaric

Radioactive Baby Sea Cucumbers.

Oh, shells bells.

The sea cucumbers'
archnemesis is back.

Will the Sinister Sea
Sponge wipe the ocean floor

with these babies?

Oh!

And here come the
butt noodles. Oh,

they're going into
the Whirlpool of Pain.

Round and round they go.

When they stop, he's gonna know.

Teddy, you got
to pick me up now.

Right, right.

Aah! My back!

Teddy. Oh, no!

It's okay. I'm okay.

Nope. I'm seizing up. Oh...

Wait, is Teddy really hurt?

I-Is this real or fake?

And the Sea
Sponge took a big hit.

And it isn't getting up.

And not in a super fun way.

- Uh-oh.
- Just, uh, keep whirlpooling.

Butt
noodles! Butt noodles!

Butt
noodles! Butt noodles!

How long do we have to do this?

I think it's making him better.

Eh, no, it's not.

Just keep going.
We're the closers.

Always be closing.

Sorry, folks.

I think we have to
stop this fight early.

We've got an injured Sea Sponge.

- Get up, Sea Sponge!
- No!

Don't stop the
show. I-I'll fight.

I'll fight. Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Okay, sorry. That's it, folks.

No, please. Keep going.

- Honor my memory.
- Wait. Uh...

Ooh, oh, oh. The
Sinister Sea Sponge

is being joined in
the ring by that guy.

Uh, w-what? Me?

Yes. Come in, come in.

Oh, God. Uh, okay.

Oh. All right.

It seems like an average
human is now entering the ring.

Definitely all a
part of the show.

Teddy, I'm just gonna gently...

Sorry, sorry.

Whoa!

It's the Sinister Sea
Sponge's evil brother,

Sponge Hat.

Uh, yeah. I'm gonna
get you, Sea Cucumbers.

For hurting my brother's back.

Aw, we're brothers.

I conch believe it.

It's the Sinister Sea
Sponge's brother,

ready to exact his revenge,

in the form of
wrestling, I hope?

Oh, boy.

Dad,

we got to do our big final move.

The Triple Cuke Nuke.

We're gonna jump
from the ropes...

and you catch us, spin
around with all three of us on you,

and then fall down, okay?

Wait, what? All
three of you? I-I can't.

Sure you can,
you big strong boy.

You can do it, Bobby.

No, I'm not you, I can't
catch three kids and then spin.

No, I know. I was
just trying to be nice.

Wait, what if your
mother comes on stage

- and we go back-to-back?
- That could work.

And, oh, no, here
comes Sponge Hat's...

- evil... sister.
- Wife.

- Sister wife.
- Come on, sister wife.

- Oh. Excuse me.
- Yeah.

- Wow! Okay.
- Excuse me.

So now we've got another
surprise person-fighter.

Just crab-tacular.

- -Sorry, sorry.
- Yes!

I am the sister wife
of the evil brother.

Sponge-Boob Square-Bra.

- Nice.
- Lin, the kids are gonna jump on us

and we have to catch them,
spin around and then fall.

- Oh, boy. Okay.
- Oh, God, oh, God.

I'm in the
moment, I'm in the moment,

- I'm in the moment...
- Oh, God...

Now!

We're doing it!

What an incredible finish!

The Barbaric Radioactive
Baby Sea Cucumbers

finally landed their
signature move.

And the sponge family
is hung out to dry.

- Yeah! We did it!
- Yeah!

Yeah! Ha, ha, ha!

Wow, this is great.

Can someone drive me to
my chiropractor's, please?

How you doing, Teddy?

You think you'll be on
your feet for next Saturday?

- Yep. In theory.
- Yeah, well, whatever you come up with,

I want it in my ring.

Yeah, the thing is, Carol,
this was actually our last show.

- What?
- Yeah. Sorry.

I loved this so much
and we worked so hard.

But I don't think the band is
gonna be able to stay together.

We burned bright,
but it couldn't last.

- Really?
- Yeah. It was only a matter of time

before we destroyed
our tiny bodies.

And Teddy lost his
ability to stand or move.

I mean, some of us
complained a little, or a lot,

but I'm glad you
pushed us, Louise.

Even though it was
annoying sometimes.

Uh, most of the time.

'Cause tonight, we
made something beautiful,

- sort of?
- I mean, it was kind of beautiful.

- I thought it was beautiful.
- Anyway, we definitely won't be able

to do the Triple
Cuke Nuke again.

And Teddy almost died.

- Oh, God, is he dead?
- Nope, nope.

- Just resting my eyes.
- Oh, phew.

Yeah, so, thank you
for the opportunity.

I'll work
on 'em. We'll be back.

But, uh, we are done.

Wow. You guys are bad parents.

You should make
your kids wrestle.

- I'm kidding. You seem great.
- No, no.

You-you were
right the first time.

We get that a lot.

You know, I do kind of
appreciate wrestling now.

Now that I've done it. But
I never want to do it again.

And my body is mad at me.

Your body's probably mad at you

for all sorts of
reasons, Father.

Thank you, Louise. So, Lin,

are you sticking with
this in-the-moment stuff?

- You seemed sort of that tonight.
- Nope. I'm done.

My new habit is to just
keep all my old habits.

I'm sick of all this
capricious habit switching.

Ooh, I used it right! Maybe.

Ugh. We
smell pretty bad.

Should we throw
these costumes away?

No, they're gonna
be my bridesmaids dresses.

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