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1
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- I'm going to work in Woolworths.
2
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- When I grow up, I
want to be an astronaut.
3
00:00:20,321 --> 00:00:22,721
- When I get married, I'd
like to have two children.
4
00:00:22,921 --> 00:00:26,361
- My heart's desire is to see my daddy.
5
00:00:26,561 --> 00:00:30,981
- I don't want to answer that.
6
00:00:31,961 --> 00:00:34,481
- This is no
ordinary outing to the zoo.
7
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It's a very special occasion.
8
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We've brought these children together
9
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for the very first time.
10
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They're like any other
children except that they come
11
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from startlingly different backgrounds.
12
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- Stop it at once!
13
00:00:49,321 --> 00:00:50,681
- We've brought
these children together
14
00:00:50,881 --> 00:00:55,721
because we wanted a glimpse
of England in the year 2000.
15
00:00:55,921 --> 00:00:58,841
The shop steward and the
executive of the year 2000
16
00:00:59,041 --> 00:01:02,021
are now seven years old.
17
00:01:04,921 --> 00:01:08,961
- In 1964, "World
in Action" made "Seven Up!"
18
00:01:09,161 --> 00:01:11,001
and we've been back to film these children
19
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:12,521
every seven years.
20
00:01:14,721 --> 00:01:16,121
They are now 49.
21
00:01:21,361 --> 00:01:25,541
- Is it important to fight, yes.
22
00:01:26,081 --> 00:01:30,421
- Tony was brought
up in the East End of London.
23
00:01:30,801 --> 00:01:31,761
- Wanna be a jockey when I grow up.
24
00:01:31,961 --> 00:01:36,861
Yeah, I wanna be a jockey when I grow up.
25
00:01:38,321 --> 00:01:40,761
- At 14, he
was already an apprentice
26
00:01:40,961 --> 00:01:43,801
at Tommy Gosling's racing stable at Epsom.
27
00:01:44,001 --> 00:01:47,661
At 15, he'd left school.
28
00:01:51,481 --> 00:01:54,601
- This is a photo
finish, when I rode at Newbury.
29
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I'm the one with the white cap.
30
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,121
I was beaten a length and a half off third
31
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and I had a photo finish.
32
00:02:00,801 --> 00:02:02,761
- Do you regret not making it?
33
00:02:02,961 --> 00:02:04,361
- Well I'd have given my right arm
34
00:02:04,561 --> 00:02:08,161
at the time to become a jockey but now,
35
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,241
well, I wasn't good enough.
36
00:02:10,441 --> 00:02:11,281
- What will you do
37
00:02:11,282 --> 00:02:13,321
if you don't make it as a jockey?
38
00:02:13,521 --> 00:02:14,920
- I don't know.
39
00:02:14,921 --> 00:02:19,041
If I know I couldn't be one,
I'd get out of the game.
40
00:02:19,241 --> 00:02:20,840
Wouldn't bother.
41
00:02:20,841 --> 00:02:23,321
- What do you
think you would do then?
42
00:02:23,521 --> 00:02:24,801
- Learn on taxis.
43
00:02:27,201 --> 00:02:29,321
- At 21, he was on the knowledge
44
00:02:29,521 --> 00:02:33,121
and by 28, he owned his own cab.
45
00:02:33,321 --> 00:02:36,081
- It's surprising who
you pick up, you see.
46
00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:39,201
I once met Kojak, I picked him up.
47
00:02:39,401 --> 00:02:42,561
And Warren Mitchell,
Alf Garnett, you know.
48
00:02:42,761 --> 00:02:43,841
- Have you got a girlfriend?
49
00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:45,120
- No.
50
00:02:45,121 --> 00:02:47,401
- Would you
like to have a girlfriend?
51
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:48,800
- No.
52
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:50,521
You understand four Fs?
53
00:02:50,721 --> 00:02:52,681
Find 'em, feed 'em and forget 'em.
54
00:02:52,881 --> 00:02:55,601
The other F, I'll let you
use your own discriminish.
55
00:02:55,801 --> 00:03:00,281
I mean, this one, I
tried to do the three Fs
56
00:03:00,481 --> 00:03:02,321
but I couldn't forget her.
57
00:03:02,521 --> 00:03:05,161
- I went to a discotheque.
58
00:03:05,361 --> 00:03:07,321
He was in the pub earlier on,
59
00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:09,281
and afterwards, we went to a discotheque
60
00:03:09,481 --> 00:03:11,201
and Tony was standing there.
61
00:03:11,401 --> 00:03:13,881
And I just, from there, I just,
62
00:03:14,081 --> 00:03:15,081
that was it.
63
00:03:17,641 --> 00:03:21,121
Couldn't get rid of him.
64
00:03:21,321 --> 00:03:24,761
- We have our ups and downs,
no more than anyone else.
65
00:03:24,961 --> 00:03:27,801
- I think you gotta work at a marriage.
66
00:03:28,001 --> 00:03:30,801
I think all marriages go through stages.
67
00:03:31,001 --> 00:03:32,321
You can't stand each other.
68
00:03:32,521 --> 00:03:33,921
You go through, you know,
69
00:03:34,121 --> 00:03:35,241
I think, oh, god, I hate him.
70
00:03:35,441 --> 00:03:37,280
I wish he'd get out.
71
00:03:37,281 --> 00:03:38,121
I do.
72
00:03:38,122 --> 00:03:39,001
- We've been to the edge of the cliff
73
00:03:39,201 --> 00:03:42,041
and looked over a couple of times,
74
00:03:42,241 --> 00:03:45,921
and we've always seemed
to sort of go back,
75
00:03:46,121 --> 00:03:48,881
and we've sort of stayed the course.
76
00:03:49,081 --> 00:03:53,081
But I must say, I mean,
it's not easy being married.
77
00:03:53,281 --> 00:03:56,641
- By 42, Tony and
Debbie had left the East End
78
00:03:56,841 --> 00:03:59,841
and moved to Woodford in Essex.
79
00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:01,321
- We were gonna put a conservatory here
80
00:04:01,521 --> 00:04:03,721
but if you look along here,
81
00:04:03,921 --> 00:04:07,041
we put a patio in and
the pond for the fish,
82
00:04:07,241 --> 00:04:08,401
but the only thing I ever done
83
00:04:08,601 --> 00:04:12,201
was I planted them three trees.
84
00:04:12,401 --> 00:04:13,761
Well, since you was last here, Michael,
85
00:04:13,961 --> 00:04:16,521
we had small trees, if you remember.
86
00:04:16,721 --> 00:04:20,281
Now, they've sort of grown a bit.
87
00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:22,441
- So why are the trees singed?
88
00:04:22,641 --> 00:04:26,121
- We was burning some rubbish at the back
89
00:04:26,321 --> 00:04:28,401
and set light to the tree,
and there we all were,
90
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:31,681
sort of like throwing all
buckets of water over it,
91
00:04:31,881 --> 00:04:36,141
and sadly enough, it singed the tree.
92
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,521
- At 49, they've
taken out a second mortgage
93
00:04:51,721 --> 00:04:53,961
on the London house and sunk the money
94
00:04:54,161 --> 00:04:56,561
in a holiday home in Spain.
95
00:04:56,761 --> 00:04:57,761
- I'm very pleased with the house.
96
00:04:57,961 --> 00:05:00,361
I said the progress we made
in the little space of time
97
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,081
that we've had to work here
98
00:05:02,281 --> 00:05:05,521
and get it all sort of shipshape,
I think is done, really,
99
00:05:05,721 --> 00:05:08,981
to the testament of my wife Debbie.
100
00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:10,241
- As per usual.
101
00:05:11,961 --> 00:05:13,601
- Well, Debbie went to the furniture shop,
102
00:05:13,801 --> 00:05:16,441
and she sort of picked all the furniture.
103
00:05:16,641 --> 00:05:19,761
All what you see is all
Debbie's choice of furniture
104
00:05:19,961 --> 00:05:22,961
and her, really, sort of style.
105
00:05:23,161 --> 00:05:25,241
The floor, we were led to believe
106
00:05:25,441 --> 00:05:27,281
that we had a choice of tiling,
107
00:05:27,481 --> 00:05:31,041
whether it's a light beige or light brown.
108
00:05:31,241 --> 00:05:33,001
- That's the first I've
heard that we had a choice
109
00:05:33,201 --> 00:05:34,601
'cause I would have had plain.
110
00:05:34,801 --> 00:05:36,281
- Well, I've just gone
into the neighbours' house
111
00:05:36,481 --> 00:05:37,521
and they've got all plain.
112
00:05:37,721 --> 00:05:38,561
- Well, there you go.
113
00:05:38,761 --> 00:05:39,402
I never got told that.
- And I asked him
114
00:05:39,602 --> 00:05:41,441
and he said, "It was a choice that we had
115
00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:43,961
"when we suggested to buy it."
116
00:05:44,161 --> 00:05:45,641
So that was where the mistake was made.
117
00:05:45,841 --> 00:05:47,121
- Because you don't listen.
118
00:05:47,321 --> 00:05:48,161
- Say that again.
119
00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:49,121
- You don't listen.
120
00:05:49,122 --> 00:05:51,800
- Can't hear you.
121
00:05:51,801 --> 00:05:55,201
- Tony and Debbie
still work as London cabbies.
122
00:05:55,401 --> 00:05:57,441
- We sold our cabs
because we are gonna spend
123
00:05:57,641 --> 00:05:58,521
more time out here.
124
00:05:58,522 --> 00:06:00,881
So it's not really conducive
to own a cab, is it?
125
00:06:01,081 --> 00:06:01,921
- No.
126
00:06:01,922 --> 00:06:03,281
- Because the cab will
be left out on the drive
127
00:06:03,481 --> 00:06:05,601
or, you know, it's pointless,
128
00:06:05,801 --> 00:06:09,881
so we just hired a cab independently now.
129
00:06:10,081 --> 00:06:13,921
- I'm working harder now
than I really ever have done
130
00:06:14,121 --> 00:06:18,281
but I feel that it's for something.
131
00:06:18,481 --> 00:06:19,321
- Tell me, son,
132
00:06:19,322 --> 00:06:20,961
why do you wanna be a
cab driver for, mate?
133
00:06:21,161 --> 00:06:22,361
All the holidays in Spain every year
134
00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:23,961
but, son, it's hard work out there.
135
00:06:24,161 --> 00:06:24,961
- You're not reaching me yet.
136
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:25,802
- Not getting to you.
137
00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:27,001
- No, you're not getting to me, all right?
138
00:06:27,201 --> 00:06:28,240
Now be bigger.
139
00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:29,241
Dominate me, all right?
140
00:06:29,441 --> 00:06:30,281
- Son...
141
00:06:30,282 --> 00:06:32,721
- At 28, Tony
was taking acting lessons.
142
00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:36,401
Now, he supplements his income
with occasional TV jobs.
143
00:06:36,601 --> 00:06:37,601
- Oi!
144
00:06:39,561 --> 00:06:40,401
- That's all I got on me.
145
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:42,481
- Mate, if I had a pound for
every time I've heard that,
146
00:06:42,681 --> 00:06:43,760
I'd be a rich man.
147
00:06:43,761 --> 00:06:45,321
Get him!
148
00:06:47,121 --> 00:06:49,761
A guy contacted me from my agency,
149
00:06:49,961 --> 00:06:52,841
from my acting agency, and
I got in touch with him.
150
00:06:53,041 --> 00:06:55,520
And he writes plays
151
00:06:55,521 --> 00:06:58,241
and he's been inspired
by your up programmes,
152
00:06:58,441 --> 00:07:00,881
which go all round the
world, and he saw it.
153
00:07:01,081 --> 00:07:05,681
And we got together and we
wrote a biographical play
154
00:07:05,881 --> 00:07:08,161
all about my life story.
155
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:09,521
We took one of these
episodes over to New York
156
00:07:09,721 --> 00:07:12,121
and done it on a play reading.
157
00:07:12,321 --> 00:07:15,481
And I got up, playing the lead role
158
00:07:15,681 --> 00:07:18,801
and it just blew the roof off.
159
00:07:19,001 --> 00:07:20,681
And we're looking for
someone to pick it up
160
00:07:20,881 --> 00:07:23,760
and put it on stage.
161
00:07:23,761 --> 00:07:25,801
- Would everybody
please sit round now,
162
00:07:26,001 --> 00:07:26,642
get on with their work?
163
00:07:26,842 --> 00:07:29,761
I don't wanna see any backs to me.
164
00:07:29,961 --> 00:07:31,441
Shouldn't be anybody turning round.
165
00:07:31,641 --> 00:07:34,941
Tony, do you hear as well?
166
00:07:35,801 --> 00:07:38,241
Get on with your work at the front.
167
00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:39,441
Tony!
168
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,481
Don't turn round again.
169
00:07:42,681 --> 00:07:45,041
- There's only one ambition,
and, really, I want a baby son.
170
00:07:45,241 --> 00:07:47,881
If I see my baby son, that
will be my ambition fulfilled.
171
00:07:48,081 --> 00:07:49,081
No one knows that.
172
00:07:49,081 --> 00:07:50,081
Only you know.
173
00:07:51,561 --> 00:07:53,281
- Debbie and
Tony have three children.
174
00:07:53,481 --> 00:07:54,321
Nicky.
175
00:07:54,321 --> 00:07:55,121
- Throw it in!
176
00:07:55,122 --> 00:07:57,441
- Jody and Perri.
177
00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:00,521
- Nicky's doing quite well.
178
00:08:00,721 --> 00:08:02,481
He's still a French polisher.
179
00:08:02,681 --> 00:08:04,561
It's an old-time profession, as you know.
180
00:08:04,761 --> 00:08:07,281
And he's working for a firm,
181
00:08:07,481 --> 00:08:09,721
and he's very happy in his work, isn't he?
182
00:08:09,921 --> 00:08:13,601
- He's been brought
up very respectful to people,
183
00:08:13,801 --> 00:08:15,281
very well-mannered person,
184
00:08:15,481 --> 00:08:17,681
He's a hard worker.
185
00:08:19,641 --> 00:08:22,081
- Jody, I mean, at this present time,
186
00:08:22,281 --> 00:08:25,561
she's just relies on us a great deal
187
00:08:25,761 --> 00:08:29,721
and she's been very scarred
188
00:08:29,921 --> 00:08:33,601
with a relationship that she was in.
189
00:08:33,801 --> 00:08:36,201
Her relationship with her
first love of her own life
190
00:08:36,401 --> 00:08:42,181
was very turbulent, but
he's the father of her kid.
191
00:08:43,241 --> 00:08:46,281
We're gonna make sure she gets through it.
192
00:08:46,481 --> 00:08:48,881
And it's been quite a
strain on Debbie and I
193
00:08:49,081 --> 00:08:52,521
to see her in that sort of situation.
194
00:08:52,721 --> 00:08:54,761
- I'm very
proud of Perri as well.
195
00:08:54,961 --> 00:08:57,441
She got in the post office,
and that's what's she doing.
196
00:08:57,641 --> 00:09:00,321
Postman Pel, that's our postman Pel.
197
00:09:00,521 --> 00:09:01,361
She loves it.
198
00:09:01,362 --> 00:09:02,440
She works hard.
199
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:03,162
She's up at four in the morning.
200
00:09:03,362 --> 00:09:04,880
- In the morning.
201
00:09:04,881 --> 00:09:06,361
She's got a lovely boyfriend.
202
00:09:06,561 --> 00:09:08,361
He loves her more than you can imagine,
203
00:09:08,561 --> 00:09:11,121
and he's certainly got my blessing.
204
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:14,001
Big lad, very nice guy,
loves his football.
205
00:09:14,201 --> 00:09:16,041
You know, typical East End kid.
206
00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:17,241
Here you go.
207
00:09:18,521 --> 00:09:19,361
Aah!
208
00:09:19,362 --> 00:09:20,560
Head up, son.
209
00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,401
That's too quick.
210
00:09:21,402 --> 00:09:23,681
We are the backbone for
the kids, aren't we?
211
00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:26,361
- Yeah, but I think your
parents are anyway, you know.
212
00:09:26,561 --> 00:09:28,480
Your parents are...
213
00:09:28,481 --> 00:09:30,121
You never visualise anything
214
00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:31,961
ever happening to your parents, do you?
215
00:09:32,161 --> 00:09:35,361
You think they are forever.
216
00:09:35,561 --> 00:09:39,441
- Toni's five, Harry's four, nearly five,
217
00:09:39,641 --> 00:09:40,481
and little Pru,
218
00:09:40,482 --> 00:09:41,961
she's nearly two.
- Nearly two.
219
00:09:42,161 --> 00:09:43,001
- No, three.
220
00:09:43,002 --> 00:09:44,161
- She's three?
221
00:09:46,001 --> 00:09:48,201
I'm an hands-on granddad.
222
00:09:48,401 --> 00:09:51,041
I love my grandchildren
more than you can imagine,
223
00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:53,841
I'd say not my own kids,
but in a different way.
224
00:09:54,041 --> 00:09:57,501
It's an obsession of love, you know.
225
00:09:58,561 --> 00:10:02,121
- You see these grandchildren,
and they're part of you.
226
00:10:02,321 --> 00:10:03,960
- No, granddad.
227
00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:05,480
Don't empty that.
228
00:10:05,481 --> 00:10:07,241
- They're hard work at times.
229
00:10:07,441 --> 00:10:08,242
- We don't mind, though, Michael, I mean...
230
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,361
- 'Cause you slow down
and you don't realise
231
00:10:10,561 --> 00:10:12,280
you're slowing down.
232
00:10:12,281 --> 00:10:14,201
- All I understand is dogs' prices,
233
00:10:14,401 --> 00:10:17,281
girls, knowledge, roads, streets, squares
234
00:10:17,481 --> 00:10:19,481
and mum and dad and love.
235
00:10:19,681 --> 00:10:22,521
That's all I understand,
that's all I wanna understand.
236
00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:24,361
- By the time he was 34,
237
00:10:24,561 --> 00:10:27,941
both Tony's parents had died.
238
00:10:28,361 --> 00:10:29,002
- I'm at the graveside,
239
00:10:29,202 --> 00:10:30,281
I'm talking to her, little things.
240
00:10:30,481 --> 00:10:33,121
I've got all images
running through me mind,
241
00:10:33,321 --> 00:10:36,201
sayin' like, "Tony, go
downstairs, get me fine weights,
242
00:10:36,401 --> 00:10:38,080
"one and a penny."
243
00:10:38,081 --> 00:10:39,641
And I used to go in the shop.
244
00:10:39,841 --> 00:10:42,281
She used to throw the
cotton in an hair curler
245
00:10:42,481 --> 00:10:44,440
over the landing,
246
00:10:44,441 --> 00:10:48,201
and I used to tie the cigarettes
on this bit of cotton.
247
00:10:48,401 --> 00:10:50,641
She used to pull 'em up, and she goes,
248
00:10:50,841 --> 00:10:52,120
see her in the end,
249
00:10:52,121 --> 00:10:52,961
"Thanks, Tone.
250
00:10:52,962 --> 00:10:54,761
"See you after school, be good."
251
00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:57,361
And that's the way it was.
252
00:10:57,561 --> 00:11:00,041
- We knew my dad was terminally ill,
253
00:11:00,241 --> 00:11:01,601
although having said that,
254
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:05,841
still didn't make it any easier for us.
255
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:09,541
When my dad died, I took it really hard.
256
00:11:10,161 --> 00:11:11,161
I can't.
257
00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:19,841
- Nellie Rose is my mum,
'cause her name is Nell,
258
00:11:20,041 --> 00:11:21,721
and her mother's name's Rose,
259
00:11:21,921 --> 00:11:25,281
so my Jody and all the family
260
00:11:25,481 --> 00:11:27,841
were conjuring up some
names that we could name it.
261
00:11:28,041 --> 00:11:30,521
Jody at the finish said, "Nellie Rose",
262
00:11:30,721 --> 00:11:33,421
the name of our mums.
263
00:11:34,401 --> 00:11:37,641
- Sometimes, on a Saturday
morning, I go to the pictures,
264
00:11:37,841 --> 00:11:41,561
sometimes with my friends
and sometimes with him.
265
00:11:41,761 --> 00:11:42,641
- You don't.
266
00:11:42,641 --> 00:11:43,641
- I do.
267
00:11:44,321 --> 00:11:45,680
- She don't.
268
00:11:45,681 --> 00:11:48,241
- And why did
you fall in love with him?
269
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,521
- Don't know.
270
00:11:50,521 --> 00:11:51,161
- I don't know how...
271
00:11:51,361 --> 00:11:52,001
- Don't know.
- You put up with me
272
00:11:52,201 --> 00:11:53,041
for so long.
273
00:11:53,041 --> 00:11:53,881
- I don't know how.
274
00:11:53,882 --> 00:11:55,561
Sometimes, I don't know how I stand him.
275
00:11:55,761 --> 00:11:57,441
Who's to say in another 10 years,
276
00:11:57,641 --> 00:11:59,201
me and him might have split up.
277
00:11:59,401 --> 00:12:01,320
- Quite possible.
278
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,321
- You don't know.
279
00:12:03,441 --> 00:12:06,121
- When we filmed
Debbie and Tony at 42,
280
00:12:06,321 --> 00:12:09,001
the marriage seemed to be in trouble.
281
00:12:09,201 --> 00:12:11,441
- I'm not proud at all to say this
282
00:12:11,641 --> 00:12:14,921
but situations arise that
283
00:12:15,121 --> 00:12:21,361
I have had regretful behaviour
various times but through...
284
00:12:21,561 --> 00:12:24,521
- You got caught, and that was it.
285
00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:26,000
- That's, you know.
286
00:12:26,001 --> 00:12:27,961
I'm not lying about the fact.
287
00:12:28,161 --> 00:12:29,481
I mean, you could always cover it up
288
00:12:29,681 --> 00:12:34,281
and suggest other things but
it's true and let it be true.
289
00:12:34,481 --> 00:12:35,801
- You caught him?
290
00:12:37,081 --> 00:12:37,961
- Yeah.
291
00:12:37,962 --> 00:12:39,121
- What happened?
292
00:12:40,241 --> 00:12:42,601
- Well, it was touch and go
293
00:12:42,801 --> 00:12:46,321
whether we carried on from it or not.
294
00:12:46,521 --> 00:12:50,081
I did feel I wish things
that were said then
295
00:12:50,281 --> 00:12:51,800
was never said.
296
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:54,761
I mean, Perri wouldn't go
to school for three weeks.
297
00:12:54,961 --> 00:12:56,281
She wouldn't go out the door.
298
00:12:56,481 --> 00:12:58,161
She was quite upset about it all
299
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:01,441
and I think it was a big shock
300
00:13:01,641 --> 00:13:05,801
because you are their mum and dad.
301
00:13:06,001 --> 00:13:07,881
- They're tangerines, ain't they?
302
00:13:08,081 --> 00:13:09,201
We got on from there.
303
00:13:09,401 --> 00:13:10,801
It's sort of seven years down the line,
304
00:13:11,001 --> 00:13:14,421
and we are happy as can be now.
305
00:13:15,201 --> 00:13:16,441
- Karen told me to get me knickers here.
306
00:13:16,641 --> 00:13:20,361
She said they're better
than Marks & Spencer's.
307
00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:23,601
- Well, let's hope
they're easy to get off.
308
00:13:23,801 --> 00:13:24,641
- Hello!
309
00:13:24,642 --> 00:13:27,041
- There's 96% English here
310
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,121
who bought all their houses in Spain,
311
00:13:30,321 --> 00:13:33,041
and this is where they
shop every Saturday.
312
00:13:33,241 --> 00:13:34,841
It's just like an old
Petticoat Lane Market,
313
00:13:35,041 --> 00:13:36,560
sort of years ago.
314
00:13:36,561 --> 00:13:40,101
How much are they, darling?
315
00:13:40,681 --> 00:13:41,841
What I like is so relaxing
down here, Michael.
316
00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:44,321
You just walk along, and
things are happening,
317
00:13:44,521 --> 00:13:46,000
the music's playing.
318
00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,361
There's an English pub
there you can just go in,
319
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:53,021
and it's really home from
home but with the weather.
320
00:13:55,881 --> 00:13:59,521
From here, it's about 200 yards along.
321
00:13:59,721 --> 00:14:02,041
There's gonna be all
commercial units here.
322
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:05,321
My intentions would be to
turn one of these units
323
00:14:05,521 --> 00:14:06,561
into a sports bar.
324
00:14:07,521 --> 00:14:10,201
We're putting all tellies
round in a sports sort of way,
325
00:14:10,401 --> 00:14:14,341
football shirts and all that memorabilia.
326
00:14:14,801 --> 00:14:15,761
This is tomorrow for me.
327
00:14:15,961 --> 00:14:17,881
This is my future here.
328
00:14:18,081 --> 00:14:19,441
If I happen to get some sort of business
329
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:22,281
and I was to bring my Nicky
330
00:14:22,481 --> 00:14:25,441
or bring my Jody and my Perri out here,
331
00:14:25,641 --> 00:14:26,881
then I'll have the best of both worlds.
332
00:14:27,081 --> 00:14:28,281
I'll have my family here,
333
00:14:28,481 --> 00:14:31,041
plus, the kids could be schooled.
334
00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:33,681
Well, they can get what
they want, can't they?
335
00:14:33,881 --> 00:14:35,921
If you have got to work for it,
336
00:14:36,121 --> 00:14:38,241
and it's them who can just
ask for money and get it,
337
00:14:38,441 --> 00:14:40,361
and they can buy what they want.
338
00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:44,521
I feel that the economy
will bust within five years
339
00:14:44,721 --> 00:14:46,121
because people like myself
340
00:14:46,321 --> 00:14:49,001
have been giving and giving all the time.
341
00:14:49,201 --> 00:14:50,761
We're hardworking, family type of people
342
00:14:50,961 --> 00:14:52,841
who have contributed everything
343
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:54,761
under this Tony Blair's government.
344
00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,361
We have to work, we have
to maintain the mortgage,
345
00:14:57,561 --> 00:14:59,681
we have to bring up the families,
346
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:01,281
and I feel that I've had enough.
347
00:15:01,481 --> 00:15:04,001
I've had enough of
working all these hours.
348
00:15:04,201 --> 00:15:06,481
Congestion charges, 40 pound a week now.
349
00:15:06,681 --> 00:15:10,121
Zero tolerance with the
police with parking tickets.
350
00:15:10,321 --> 00:15:12,040
We're paying.
351
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:16,601
Now someone's gettin' it at our expense.
352
00:15:16,801 --> 00:15:17,442
- Does it make you sad
353
00:15:17,642 --> 00:15:20,041
that you're gonna have to
leave your roots, your country?
354
00:15:20,241 --> 00:15:22,921
- I can't even go out in the
East End now to have a drink.
355
00:15:23,121 --> 00:15:26,401
The pubs are literally closing down.
356
00:15:26,601 --> 00:15:31,001
It's other cultures are buyin'
all my old tradition up.
357
00:15:31,201 --> 00:15:33,281
Everyone likes their own culture,
358
00:15:33,481 --> 00:15:35,881
and I'm no different from anybody else,
359
00:15:36,081 --> 00:15:38,761
but being in England, if you suggest this,
360
00:15:38,961 --> 00:15:42,361
you are targeted as an oddball.
361
00:15:42,561 --> 00:15:43,961
Oh, you mustn't say that.
362
00:15:44,161 --> 00:15:45,961
Safety by numbers, eh, is
that what they call it?
363
00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:47,001
- Definitely.
364
00:15:47,002 --> 00:15:48,601
- On the contrary, I would say, I'm sorry.
365
00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,321
If you don't like it,
it's not to be offensive,
366
00:15:51,521 --> 00:15:52,242
it's just to let you know
367
00:15:52,442 --> 00:15:56,801
that my way of being brought
up was all my own people,
368
00:15:57,001 --> 00:15:58,281
and I like being with me own people,
369
00:15:58,481 --> 00:16:00,601
and I'm a traditionalist.
370
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:03,601
How much do you want play for, fiver?
371
00:16:03,801 --> 00:16:04,961
- 10 pesetas.
372
00:16:06,281 --> 00:16:07,480
Whoa!
373
00:16:07,481 --> 00:16:08,521
- What's the dream now?
374
00:16:08,721 --> 00:16:11,161
- It is to be happy, which I am.
375
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,681
I am happy now, being
healthy with all my family.
376
00:16:14,881 --> 00:16:16,441
We all want happy and
health for our family.
377
00:16:16,641 --> 00:16:18,481
Anything else will be a bonus.
378
00:16:18,681 --> 00:16:19,921
And that's all I really want.
379
00:16:20,121 --> 00:16:21,241
And that's all I'm really after.
380
00:16:21,441 --> 00:16:23,121
I don't want no more or less than that.
381
00:16:23,321 --> 00:16:24,880
Oh.
382
00:16:24,881 --> 00:16:25,721
Unlucky Tony.
383
00:16:25,722 --> 00:16:28,901
- Unlucky.
- Unlucky.
384
00:16:35,001 --> 00:16:38,641
- Some people from Africa
come here but they,
385
00:16:38,841 --> 00:16:42,921
when they go, they put their clothes on.
386
00:16:43,121 --> 00:16:45,481
- Jackie, Lynn and Sue
387
00:16:45,681 --> 00:16:47,281
all grew up in the East End of London
388
00:16:47,481 --> 00:16:50,641
and were friends in
the same junior school.
389
00:16:50,841 --> 00:16:53,881
- With this school, we do
metalwork and woodwork,
390
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,441
and the boys do cookery.
391
00:16:55,641 --> 00:17:01,321
- We had a teacher at school
that his favourite ploy was,
392
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:03,921
"All you girls want to do is walk out,
393
00:17:04,121 --> 00:17:05,281
"get married, have babies
394
00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:06,841
"and push a pram down the street
395
00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:09,721
"with a fag hanging outside your mouth."
396
00:17:09,921 --> 00:17:11,801
- I think that we all could have gone
397
00:17:12,001 --> 00:17:14,001
any way that we wanted to at the time
398
00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,761
within our capabilities.
399
00:17:15,961 --> 00:17:19,721
I mean, we just we chose our own jobs.
400
00:17:19,921 --> 00:17:21,481
But we only had a limited choice anyway.
401
00:17:21,681 --> 00:17:23,361
I mean, truth be told, I mean we...
402
00:17:23,561 --> 00:17:24,401
- Yes, we did have
403
00:17:24,401 --> 00:17:25,041
a limited choice.
- We didn't have a choice
404
00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:26,081
of private education
405
00:17:26,082 --> 00:17:27,681
because they couldn't
have afforded it anyway.
406
00:17:27,881 --> 00:17:29,761
- Change is too much, Mike.
407
00:17:29,961 --> 00:17:34,121
Our lives are changing
far too much, all of us.
408
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:34,962
- Well, to be honest,
409
00:17:35,162 --> 00:17:37,241
when you look at the seven-year-old us,
410
00:17:37,441 --> 00:17:39,281
it's difficult to believe it is us.
411
00:17:39,481 --> 00:17:41,921
I mean, it's like it's someone
else you're looking at,
412
00:17:42,121 --> 00:17:44,681
this little cute thing.
413
00:17:44,881 --> 00:17:45,841
I mean, I can't remember being...
414
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:47,041
- Well, I wasn't cute.
415
00:17:47,241 --> 00:17:51,121
I would like to get
married when I grow up.
416
00:17:51,321 --> 00:17:53,081
Well, I don't know what sort of boy
417
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:56,601
but I think one that.
418
00:17:56,801 --> 00:17:57,960
- Oh, no.
419
00:17:57,961 --> 00:18:00,801
- So, that's not got a lot of money
420
00:18:01,001 --> 00:18:05,081
but he has got some money, not a lot.
421
00:18:05,281 --> 00:18:08,501
- Have you got any boyfriends?
422
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,221
- That's personal, innit?
423
00:18:15,201 --> 00:18:18,601
- By the time she
was 21, Jackie had married Mick
424
00:18:18,801 --> 00:18:21,281
and moved to the outskirts of London.
425
00:18:21,481 --> 00:18:22,521
- It was horrific, really,
426
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:24,321
what happened to the wedding cake.
427
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:28,361
I mean, it was sitting right
in between Mick and myself
428
00:18:28,561 --> 00:18:30,721
when suddenly, the columns
just completely gave way
429
00:18:30,921 --> 00:18:33,721
and it just all sort of fell into one.
430
00:18:33,921 --> 00:18:39,421
I would say on average,
19 is probably too young.
431
00:18:40,561 --> 00:18:43,441
- By 35, she was divorced.
432
00:18:43,641 --> 00:18:47,401
- We decided ourselves, I mean
just between the two of us,
433
00:18:47,601 --> 00:18:51,021
we knew it wasn't going any further.
434
00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:53,681
We both knew, I think,
that at the end of the day,
435
00:18:53,881 --> 00:18:55,361
we would be happier leading our own lives.
436
00:18:55,561 --> 00:18:56,880
Hey, Jackie.
437
00:18:56,881 --> 00:18:58,921
- She and Mick
had decided early on
438
00:18:59,121 --> 00:18:59,762
that they didn't want children.
439
00:18:59,962 --> 00:19:01,121
- Sometimes feel like really sick.
440
00:19:01,321 --> 00:19:05,161
- Basically, I would say
because I'm far too selfish.
441
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:09,121
I enjoy doing what I want
when I want and how I want,
442
00:19:09,321 --> 00:19:11,681
and certainly at the moment,
443
00:19:11,881 --> 00:19:16,841
I can't see any way around that.
444
00:19:17,041 --> 00:19:18,041
Oh.
445
00:19:19,921 --> 00:19:21,880
And this one on.
446
00:19:21,881 --> 00:19:23,320
Here we go.
447
00:19:23,321 --> 00:19:24,640
Oh, yeah.
448
00:19:24,641 --> 00:19:28,121
Had a brief but very sweet relationship,
449
00:19:28,321 --> 00:19:30,361
the result of which was Charlie.
450
00:19:30,561 --> 00:19:32,241
Oi, give us a cuddle.
451
00:19:32,441 --> 00:19:34,681
I don't really want Charlie to be an only.
452
00:19:34,881 --> 00:19:36,881
I'd love him to have brothers and sisters,
453
00:19:37,081 --> 00:19:38,601
but not necessarily loads of 'em.
454
00:19:38,801 --> 00:19:41,681
Just, you know, one would do, actually.
455
00:19:41,881 --> 00:19:44,901
Right, Charlie, there's yours.
456
00:19:46,321 --> 00:19:47,561
And please eat it all up.
457
00:19:47,761 --> 00:19:49,041
- Oh.
458
00:19:50,081 --> 00:19:51,480
- And James.
459
00:19:51,481 --> 00:19:52,441
- Thanks, mum.
460
00:19:52,442 --> 00:19:54,120
- Good boy.
461
00:19:54,121 --> 00:19:57,261
And last but not least.
462
00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:00,081
Gonna eat that one for me?
463
00:20:00,281 --> 00:20:01,281
- After her relationship
464
00:20:01,481 --> 00:20:04,361
with Charlie's father ended, she met Ian,
465
00:20:04,561 --> 00:20:08,781
and they moved to Scotland
and had two more sons.
466
00:20:09,401 --> 00:20:10,201
- James.
467
00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:11,041
- All right.
468
00:20:11,042 --> 00:20:12,921
- By 42, they had split up.
469
00:20:13,121 --> 00:20:14,121
- Lee.
470
00:20:18,361 --> 00:20:20,961
- Go on, Lee, go and get 'em.
471
00:20:21,161 --> 00:20:23,241
- At 49, despite the split,
472
00:20:23,441 --> 00:20:27,461
the family all live in
the same area of Scotland.
473
00:20:28,121 --> 00:20:29,880
- There's your dad!
474
00:20:29,881 --> 00:20:32,441
Lee and Charlie's birthdays
are only a month apart,
475
00:20:32,641 --> 00:20:34,121
so we tend to do something in between
476
00:20:34,321 --> 00:20:36,761
so that we celebrate both their birthdays.
477
00:20:36,961 --> 00:20:41,101
So we usually go somewhere
like amusement park.
478
00:20:42,561 --> 00:20:45,001
- That Lee's got
a lot of nerve, hasn't he?
479
00:20:45,201 --> 00:20:46,401
- And a little
bit of bravado, I think.
480
00:20:46,601 --> 00:20:49,161
Because his older brothers had said no,
481
00:20:49,361 --> 00:20:52,201
I think he decided, I'm gonna do this one.
482
00:20:52,401 --> 00:20:54,920
- Yeah!
483
00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:55,761
Whoo!
484
00:20:55,762 --> 00:20:58,721
- Has Charlie shown
any interest as to his father?
485
00:20:58,921 --> 00:20:59,921
- No.
486
00:21:01,481 --> 00:21:04,201
Ian's his father as far as he's concerned.
487
00:21:04,401 --> 00:21:05,801
He knows and the other boy knows,
488
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:10,201
the whole family know that
biologically, he's not,
489
00:21:10,401 --> 00:21:13,761
but in every respect, Ian is his father,
490
00:21:13,961 --> 00:21:14,961
always has been.
491
00:21:15,721 --> 00:21:18,961
He just done everything with
him, been everything to him,
492
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:22,301
taught him everything.
493
00:21:22,721 --> 00:21:23,641
- What would you do
494
00:21:23,642 --> 00:21:26,681
if you had lots of
money, about two pounds?
495
00:21:26,881 --> 00:21:29,561
- I would buy meself a new nice house,
496
00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:34,521
you know, one that's all nice and comfy.
497
00:21:34,721 --> 00:21:36,441
- Oh, quite like that.
498
00:21:36,641 --> 00:21:39,041
- Jackie suffers
from rheumatoid arthritis
499
00:21:39,241 --> 00:21:41,401
and lives off disability benefit.
500
00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:43,041
How is money for you?
501
00:21:43,241 --> 00:21:47,521
- Could do with more, as just
about everybody would say,
502
00:21:47,721 --> 00:21:48,561
but we manage.
503
00:21:48,562 --> 00:21:50,761
We cut our cloth accordingly.
504
00:21:50,961 --> 00:21:53,921
You've got X amount,
and that's what you do.
505
00:21:54,121 --> 00:21:55,001
I can imagine you in that.
506
00:21:55,201 --> 00:21:58,361
- Has Liz got
anything to do with that?
507
00:21:58,561 --> 00:22:02,041
- Liz has always got
something to do with that.
508
00:22:02,241 --> 00:22:05,481
Ian's her son, but she
also says that I'm here
509
00:22:05,681 --> 00:22:08,281
and she's got three grandchildren here
510
00:22:08,481 --> 00:22:13,601
that she loves dearly, and
she will be there for us.
511
00:22:13,801 --> 00:22:18,161
James has just had a trip to
Alton Towers with the school.
512
00:22:18,361 --> 00:22:19,961
Then suddenly, she'll say,
513
00:22:20,161 --> 00:22:22,281
"You pay the trip, I'll give
him his spending money",
514
00:22:22,481 --> 00:22:27,281
Which is brilliant because it
just makes life easier for me.
515
00:22:27,481 --> 00:22:28,881
- Now, you've moved
in the last seven years.
516
00:22:29,081 --> 00:22:30,400
Tell me about that.
517
00:22:30,401 --> 00:22:32,281
- Because of the arthritis that I've got,
518
00:22:32,481 --> 00:22:35,961
I needed to come to the ground floor.
519
00:22:36,161 --> 00:22:37,921
And this particular area that I'm in now
520
00:22:38,121 --> 00:22:39,081
is an area that I like.
521
00:22:39,281 --> 00:22:42,041
It's close to Liz, my mother-in-law,
522
00:22:42,241 --> 00:22:45,881
so from that point of view, it suits.
523
00:22:46,081 --> 00:22:50,001
The school's across the road
for the boys, good neighbours,
524
00:22:50,201 --> 00:22:54,001
which makes a difference
wherever your property is.
525
00:22:54,201 --> 00:22:57,081
It's how the East End used
to be about 30 years ago.
526
00:22:57,281 --> 00:22:58,002
Doors used to be open,
527
00:22:58,202 --> 00:23:00,241
the neighbours all watched for each other.
528
00:23:00,441 --> 00:23:01,081
If one neighbour had a problem,
529
00:23:01,281 --> 00:23:01,962
the other neighbours helped out.
530
00:23:02,162 --> 00:23:04,561
That's how it is here.
531
00:23:04,761 --> 00:23:07,281
That's what this place is
like, it's like a village.
532
00:23:07,481 --> 00:23:08,960
- 80, 85, 90...
533
00:23:08,961 --> 00:23:10,321
- We deal with the problems with the boys
534
00:23:10,521 --> 00:23:11,841
as and when they arise.
535
00:23:12,041 --> 00:23:13,921
I mean, you've always
got the problem of drink
536
00:23:14,121 --> 00:23:17,441
and drugs and smoking and not smoking
537
00:23:17,641 --> 00:23:20,441
and that sort of thing.
538
00:23:20,641 --> 00:23:24,441
I mean, Charlie's of an age
now where I can't mother him
539
00:23:24,641 --> 00:23:27,861
but I can't be his friend, either.
540
00:23:28,401 --> 00:23:30,281
He wants to work, he
wants to leave school,
541
00:23:30,481 --> 00:23:33,761
and he wants to get an
apprenticeship to car mechanics
542
00:23:33,961 --> 00:23:37,281
but the chances of him doing
that are probably very slim.
543
00:23:37,481 --> 00:23:39,881
- Hey, some...
- Lee, take your time, babe.
544
00:23:40,081 --> 00:23:41,001
You'll make yourself ill.
545
00:23:41,201 --> 00:23:42,480
- Don't care.
546
00:23:42,481 --> 00:23:46,081
- James tends to be a
bit of a computer freak.
547
00:23:46,281 --> 00:23:51,241
He wants to produce
and make his own games.
548
00:23:51,441 --> 00:23:53,001
- That looks just
like your brain, mush.
549
00:23:53,201 --> 00:23:55,881
- Lee tends to be, like, the outspoken one
550
00:23:56,081 --> 00:23:59,401
and a bit like I was at his age, really.
551
00:23:59,601 --> 00:24:01,881
In fact, he's very much
like I was at his age.
552
00:24:02,081 --> 00:24:03,481
- Is that a worry?
553
00:24:06,081 --> 00:24:07,361
- I think that's terrible.
554
00:24:07,561 --> 00:24:09,321
How dare you say that to me?
555
00:24:09,521 --> 00:24:10,481
Is that a worry?
556
00:24:10,482 --> 00:24:11,881
Why would that be a worry?
557
00:24:12,081 --> 00:24:13,681
Do you think I've turned out badly?
558
00:24:13,881 --> 00:24:15,441
- No, but sometimes
when you look at yourself,
559
00:24:15,641 --> 00:24:16,961
you don't always see things
you like in yourself,
560
00:24:17,161 --> 00:24:19,521
and then you see them in
your child and you think...
561
00:24:19,721 --> 00:24:23,001
- Yeah, but I never said he'd
picked up all of my traits.
562
00:24:23,201 --> 00:24:27,241
I actually think he's
picked up probably the best.
563
00:24:27,441 --> 00:24:28,521
If you're not gonna play nicely,
564
00:24:28,721 --> 00:24:29,721
right, go to bed, then.
565
00:24:29,921 --> 00:24:30,721
- No!
566
00:24:30,722 --> 00:24:34,721
- He has a temper that isn't
as bad as when he was younger,
567
00:24:34,921 --> 00:24:37,401
but it is something that he knows about
568
00:24:37,601 --> 00:24:40,601
and he tries very hard to control.
569
00:24:40,801 --> 00:24:44,581
- Does your
temper get you into trouble?
570
00:24:44,801 --> 00:24:48,401
- You're probably the best
one to answer that, does it?
571
00:24:48,601 --> 00:24:51,841
I mean, you and I have had
arguments on occasions.
572
00:24:52,041 --> 00:24:52,921
- Did you meet enough men
573
00:24:53,121 --> 00:24:55,281
before you decided who to marry?
574
00:24:55,481 --> 00:24:57,761
- I mean, what do you mean by settle down?
575
00:24:57,961 --> 00:25:00,801
I mean, if you think that getting married,
576
00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:02,961
as far as we're concerned,
is a case of going to work,
577
00:25:03,161 --> 00:25:05,041
come home, cook tea for
hubby, going to bed,
578
00:25:05,241 --> 00:25:08,961
getting up, going to work,
you're totally mistaken.
579
00:25:09,161 --> 00:25:09,802
The whole thing you...
580
00:25:10,002 --> 00:25:11,121
- I like it
when you shout at me.
581
00:25:11,321 --> 00:25:13,521
- I'm not sure you do, really.
582
00:25:13,721 --> 00:25:14,960
I mean I don't know.
583
00:25:14,961 --> 00:25:16,281
What happened at 21?
584
00:25:17,721 --> 00:25:20,801
You asked me if I'd had
enough experience with men
585
00:25:21,001 --> 00:25:22,841
before I got married,
586
00:25:23,041 --> 00:25:25,241
and I thought that was
actually an insulting question,
587
00:25:25,441 --> 00:25:27,361
and I got very angry,
588
00:25:27,561 --> 00:25:30,361
and we actually stopped
filming because of it.
589
00:25:30,561 --> 00:25:32,841
And if you look at the tapes of me at 21,
590
00:25:33,041 --> 00:25:35,481
I am sitting, and to all
intents and purposes,
591
00:25:35,681 --> 00:25:39,061
I might as well have not been there.
592
00:25:39,401 --> 00:25:43,681
But I was really angry that
you even thought you could get,
593
00:25:43,881 --> 00:25:45,081
you wouldn't have asked
594
00:25:45,281 --> 00:25:49,361
some of the other people in
this programme that question.
595
00:25:49,561 --> 00:25:52,841
You will edit this
programme as you see fit.
596
00:25:53,041 --> 00:25:55,601
I've got no control over that.
597
00:25:55,801 --> 00:25:58,801
You definitely come across
as this is your idea
598
00:25:59,001 --> 00:26:02,201
of what you want to do and how you see us,
599
00:26:02,401 --> 00:26:04,921
and that's how you portray us.
600
00:26:05,121 --> 00:26:08,361
This one maybe, maybe the
first one that's about us
601
00:26:08,561 --> 00:26:10,441
rather than about your perception of us.
602
00:26:10,641 --> 00:26:13,561
- So how up to
now have I got you wrong?
603
00:26:13,761 --> 00:26:16,401
- How have you got me wrong?
604
00:26:16,601 --> 00:26:19,881
The last one was very much based on
605
00:26:20,081 --> 00:26:23,481
the sympathy and the illness that I've got
606
00:26:23,681 --> 00:26:27,241
and what I may or may not be able to do.
607
00:26:27,441 --> 00:26:30,321
It should have been about what I can do,
608
00:26:30,521 --> 00:26:34,641
what I am doing, what I will do.
609
00:26:34,841 --> 00:26:36,161
Don't make that mistake, Mike.
610
00:26:36,361 --> 00:26:37,840
I am no way,
611
00:26:37,841 --> 00:26:41,281
I am down and I am
depressed about my illness,
612
00:26:41,481 --> 00:26:44,401
but I'm certainly not down
and depressed about my life.
613
00:26:44,601 --> 00:26:45,242
And there are a lot of the times
614
00:26:45,442 --> 00:26:48,881
that I sit and I cringe when
I watch those programmes,
615
00:26:49,081 --> 00:26:53,041
not just for me, but for other people.
616
00:26:53,241 --> 00:26:55,361
You can ask me about Ian,
and you know full well
617
00:26:55,561 --> 00:26:57,561
I'm gonna say to you it's
none of your business,
618
00:26:57,761 --> 00:26:59,441
I'm not talking about it.
619
00:26:59,641 --> 00:27:01,601
Now, there are people in this
programme that don't do that,
620
00:27:01,801 --> 00:27:03,681
that quite of their own free will,
621
00:27:03,881 --> 00:27:07,601
will talk about their
marriages or their divorces
622
00:27:07,801 --> 00:27:09,761
or the state of their lives
623
00:27:09,961 --> 00:27:11,281
but I don't think you should be into that.
624
00:27:11,481 --> 00:27:13,961
I don't think you should
even be asking that.
625
00:27:14,161 --> 00:27:15,281
- It's part of people's lives,
626
00:27:15,481 --> 00:27:18,601
and this programme is
about people's lives.
627
00:27:18,801 --> 00:27:20,560
- Yeah, but that's,
628
00:27:20,561 --> 00:27:21,921
see, to me, that's a part of my life
629
00:27:22,121 --> 00:27:23,761
that will never go on this programme.
630
00:27:23,961 --> 00:27:27,481
You know I'd married, my
ex-husband never took part in this.
631
00:27:27,681 --> 00:27:29,881
My partner now will
never take part in this.
632
00:27:30,081 --> 00:27:30,961
- But that's not my fault.
633
00:27:31,161 --> 00:27:34,201
- No, but that's because
that's the way I want it.
634
00:27:34,401 --> 00:27:36,521
But it still doesn't stop you
635
00:27:36,721 --> 00:27:40,221
trying to get that information from me.
636
00:27:41,321 --> 00:27:42,761
- So what would
you like to talk about
637
00:27:42,961 --> 00:27:44,001
if you want me to represent you?
638
00:27:44,201 --> 00:27:46,601
We've talked a bit about the children.
639
00:27:46,801 --> 00:27:48,720
- What I want to do.
640
00:27:48,721 --> 00:27:49,841
What I hope to do.
641
00:27:53,121 --> 00:27:56,801
I just don't want that
personal conversation.
642
00:27:57,001 --> 00:27:57,961
- Okay, well,
let's talk about that,
643
00:27:58,161 --> 00:28:01,481
what you hope to do and
what you hope for the boys.
644
00:28:01,681 --> 00:28:03,321
- What I hope to do.
645
00:28:05,241 --> 00:28:11,141
I'd like to go back to school
646
00:28:11,961 --> 00:28:14,681
so that I can hold a conversation
with anybody in the world
647
00:28:14,881 --> 00:28:17,121
and know what I'm talking about.
648
00:28:17,321 --> 00:28:20,241
So that I'm not stuck, I
know a little bit about that
649
00:28:20,441 --> 00:28:22,041
but I don't really know enough.
650
00:28:22,241 --> 00:28:23,401
I'd love to know...
651
00:28:24,561 --> 00:28:26,401
Actually, I'd really love
to start my education
652
00:28:26,601 --> 00:28:27,601
all over again.
653
00:28:28,281 --> 00:28:30,441
My mum, 'cause she got five girls,
654
00:28:30,641 --> 00:28:33,761
she had seven years' bad luck
655
00:28:33,961 --> 00:28:35,961
that's why she's got five girls.
656
00:28:36,161 --> 00:28:39,361
I'd like to be able to
have a happy family.
657
00:28:39,561 --> 00:28:41,281
I mean, I know that it's not possible
658
00:28:41,481 --> 00:28:43,321
to be happy all the time,
659
00:28:43,521 --> 00:28:45,681
but as much of the time
that it was possible.
660
00:28:45,881 --> 00:28:47,041
I don't know what Suzy's had.
661
00:28:47,241 --> 00:28:49,641
What's Suzy had that I haven't had?
662
00:28:49,841 --> 00:28:50,522
I mean, until I know that...
663
00:28:50,722 --> 00:28:52,160
- Are you different
664
00:28:52,161 --> 00:28:54,041
from what I should have expected
665
00:28:54,241 --> 00:28:56,481
at seven and 14 and 21?
666
00:28:56,681 --> 00:28:58,281
- Maybe not enough, but I've got it.
667
00:28:58,481 --> 00:28:59,841
I think I'm actually more intelligent
668
00:29:00,041 --> 00:29:01,881
than you thought I would be.
669
00:29:02,081 --> 00:29:07,061
I have reached a level
670
00:29:08,201 --> 00:29:10,681
in my life that I'm happy with,
671
00:29:10,881 --> 00:29:15,441
and I enjoy being, I enjoy being me
672
00:29:15,641 --> 00:29:18,081
but I don't think you
ever really expected me
673
00:29:18,281 --> 00:29:21,941
to turn out the way I have.
674
00:29:31,401 --> 00:29:33,881
If we did all love Geoffrey
675
00:29:34,081 --> 00:29:35,441
and we all want to marry him.
676
00:29:35,641 --> 00:29:36,481
- Yeah.
677
00:29:36,482 --> 00:29:40,841
- I think I know the one that
he likes best, and that's her.
678
00:29:41,041 --> 00:29:46,201
- I don't think I'd get married too early.
679
00:29:46,401 --> 00:29:47,681
I'd like to have a full life first and...
680
00:29:47,881 --> 00:29:48,721
- I'd like to enjoy
681
00:29:48,722 --> 00:29:50,521
myself before I...
- Meet people and, yeah.
682
00:29:50,721 --> 00:29:53,201
Before you can commit
yourself to a family.
683
00:29:53,401 --> 00:29:54,481
Marriage means a different thing to me.
684
00:29:54,681 --> 00:29:56,001
I've still got my ideals about marriage.
685
00:29:56,201 --> 00:29:58,001
I don't know what it's all about.
686
00:29:58,201 --> 00:30:00,681
- Sue was 24
when she married Billy.
687
00:30:00,881 --> 00:30:03,721
They had two children,
William and Catherine.
688
00:30:03,921 --> 00:30:05,281
- I think that to get married young,
689
00:30:05,481 --> 00:30:06,961
there must be things that you miss.
690
00:30:07,161 --> 00:30:11,441
You must miss that crucial
stage of being yourself
691
00:30:11,641 --> 00:30:12,761
because the minute you get married,
692
00:30:12,961 --> 00:30:15,401
you're no longer a single being.
693
00:30:15,601 --> 00:30:18,881
You're a partnership, and that
should be the idea behind it.
694
00:30:19,081 --> 00:30:20,841
- By the time she was 34,
695
00:30:21,041 --> 00:30:23,841
she and Billy had divorced.
696
00:30:24,041 --> 00:30:28,361
- I've never sat down and
thought, well, what was it?
697
00:30:28,561 --> 00:30:30,241
Was it this, was it that?
698
00:30:30,441 --> 00:30:32,361
I just knew it wasn't working.
699
00:30:32,561 --> 00:30:35,081
There have been relationships
when I could have settled
700
00:30:35,281 --> 00:30:37,041
but they didn't feel quite right,
701
00:30:37,241 --> 00:30:41,281
so I've always come away and pulled away
702
00:30:41,481 --> 00:30:46,281
and just waited until
the right one come along,
703
00:30:46,481 --> 00:30:47,720
if they ever do.
704
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:52,481
♪ Don't you remember you
told me you loved me, baby ♪
705
00:30:52,681 --> 00:30:53,561
♪ You said you'd be coming back ♪
706
00:30:53,761 --> 00:30:56,721
- At 42, when we
filmed Sue in the karaoke bar,
707
00:30:56,921 --> 00:30:58,801
she brought Glen along to watch her sing.
708
00:30:59,001 --> 00:31:02,081
♪ Baby, baby, baby, oh, baby ♪
709
00:31:02,281 --> 00:31:04,121
We've just met and things are going well,
710
00:31:04,321 --> 00:31:09,661
but now obviously things have
gone very well.
711
00:31:10,481 --> 00:31:11,720
- Is this love?
712
00:31:11,721 --> 00:31:12,681
- Oh, I think so, yeah.
713
00:31:12,881 --> 00:31:15,161
I mean, we've known each
other for a long, long time
714
00:31:15,361 --> 00:31:16,841
before the seven years,
715
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:20,981
and we've always, always liked each other.
716
00:31:21,441 --> 00:31:22,321
- He's good looking.
717
00:31:22,321 --> 00:31:22,962
- He's very good looking.
718
00:31:23,162 --> 00:31:24,560
He's not bad, is he?
719
00:31:24,561 --> 00:31:28,281
Everyone says he looks like Paul Weller.
720
00:31:28,481 --> 00:31:29,122
Whether that's true or not,
721
00:31:29,322 --> 00:31:31,041
especially now he's growing his hair.
722
00:31:31,241 --> 00:31:33,401
- Susan most of all likes Lesley.
723
00:31:33,601 --> 00:31:34,841
- Do I?
- I mean before.
724
00:31:35,041 --> 00:31:36,680
- You said.
725
00:31:36,681 --> 00:31:38,401
She keeps changing her mind, though.
726
00:31:38,601 --> 00:31:41,201
- Yeah, I don't know which one, really.
727
00:31:41,401 --> 00:31:43,721
'Cause everything's
not that cut and dried.
728
00:31:43,921 --> 00:31:46,521
It's not either a career or family or,
729
00:31:46,721 --> 00:31:47,362
but it's what's in the middle.
730
00:31:47,562 --> 00:31:50,361
Am I just gonna carry on as I am now for,
731
00:31:50,561 --> 00:31:54,521
and end up on a shelf or am
I just gonna get married,
732
00:31:54,721 --> 00:31:55,800
could be any day?
733
00:31:55,801 --> 00:31:58,041
I've been married, and
I've not got that urgency.
734
00:31:58,241 --> 00:32:00,881
Glen, we sort of say maybe we will.
735
00:32:01,081 --> 00:32:03,281
We're engaged, we're committed.
736
00:32:03,481 --> 00:32:04,801
We've bought a house together,
737
00:32:05,001 --> 00:32:07,561
and to me, that's a big commitment.
738
00:32:07,761 --> 00:32:10,961
Every house needs money
spending on it when you move in.
739
00:32:11,161 --> 00:32:14,041
To have a wedding, you
gotta put some cash into it.
740
00:32:14,241 --> 00:32:15,520
When I got married,
741
00:32:15,521 --> 00:32:18,681
the primary reason was because
I wanted to have a child.
742
00:32:18,881 --> 00:32:22,361
The two, to me, went together.
743
00:32:22,561 --> 00:32:23,600
- Have you and Glen
744
00:32:23,601 --> 00:32:24,641
thought of having your own child?
745
00:32:24,841 --> 00:32:28,201
- Well, Glen got with
me when we got together,
746
00:32:28,401 --> 00:32:30,281
I should say, when I was in my 40s,
747
00:32:30,481 --> 00:32:31,721
and you don't have a baby
748
00:32:31,921 --> 00:32:34,081
when you've just started a relationship.
749
00:32:34,281 --> 00:32:35,841
I didn't want to do all that again.
750
00:32:36,041 --> 00:32:38,001
I would have loved to
have had a baby with him
751
00:32:38,201 --> 00:32:40,841
'cause he would make a wonderful parent
752
00:32:41,041 --> 00:32:43,701
but the timing was off.
753
00:32:45,241 --> 00:32:46,201
- So she's your baby?
754
00:32:46,401 --> 00:32:48,041
- She's my new baby, yeah.
755
00:32:48,241 --> 00:32:51,121
Yeah, my kids are my babies,
but she's my new baby.
756
00:32:51,321 --> 00:32:55,301
She's our baby, mine and Glen's.
757
00:32:58,161 --> 00:32:58,962
She's a wonderful terrier.
758
00:32:59,162 --> 00:33:00,961
She's got such character.
759
00:33:01,161 --> 00:33:02,001
- What does she do?
760
00:33:02,002 --> 00:33:05,281
- Well, she watches TV with us.
761
00:33:05,481 --> 00:33:08,941
She's got her own favourite programmes.
762
00:33:09,281 --> 00:33:11,561
And she adores Rolf Harris,
763
00:33:11,761 --> 00:33:14,041
absolutely adores "Animal Hospital".
764
00:33:14,241 --> 00:33:17,841
She's at the top of the
house, and the music comes on,
765
00:33:18,041 --> 00:33:20,801
she runs down the stairs and
puts herself in front of the TV
766
00:33:21,001 --> 00:33:22,401
for Rolf Harris.
767
00:33:25,921 --> 00:33:26,521
- So, the house looks nice.
768
00:33:26,721 --> 00:33:27,601
You pleased with it?
769
00:33:27,601 --> 00:33:28,322
- I am very pleased with it.
770
00:33:28,522 --> 00:33:30,521
It's a lovely step for us.
771
00:33:30,721 --> 00:33:33,321
We feel like we've got
more space around us,
772
00:33:33,521 --> 00:33:35,961
and we've got to do everything inside,
773
00:33:36,161 --> 00:33:39,361
but we can build on it,
and that's what we want.
774
00:33:39,561 --> 00:33:42,401
I've been promising to
have a housewarming party
775
00:33:42,601 --> 00:33:43,241
since we've moved in.
776
00:33:43,441 --> 00:33:44,202
We've been here four months now,
777
00:33:44,402 --> 00:33:45,641
so I thought it was
about time we did that.
778
00:33:45,841 --> 00:33:49,761
So people are just starting to arrive now.
779
00:33:49,961 --> 00:33:52,281
- So, you
left the East End, why?
780
00:33:52,481 --> 00:33:55,801
- Well, I've always wanted to move out,
781
00:33:56,001 --> 00:33:59,361
but you don't do that or
the opportunity isn't there
782
00:33:59,561 --> 00:34:01,681
when you are own your own with two kids.
783
00:34:01,881 --> 00:34:03,121
I wish I had done it before.
784
00:34:03,321 --> 00:34:05,361
The timing, it's timing, you know.
785
00:34:05,561 --> 00:34:07,641
Now was the right time, obviously.
786
00:34:07,841 --> 00:34:09,961
The East End has changed,
it's changed a lot.
787
00:34:10,161 --> 00:34:13,341
- He was even
playing tie the tooth.
788
00:34:13,881 --> 00:34:14,521
- Mum comes down to me.
789
00:34:14,721 --> 00:34:15,362
It's so easy for them.
790
00:34:15,562 --> 00:34:17,281
They can jump on a train,
791
00:34:17,481 --> 00:34:20,121
and the station's within walking distance
792
00:34:20,321 --> 00:34:23,641
so it's worked out wonderfully well.
793
00:34:23,841 --> 00:34:25,761
- Well, some people are
just born into rich families
794
00:34:25,961 --> 00:34:27,360
and they're lucky.
795
00:34:27,361 --> 00:34:28,241
- I don't see why they
should have the luck
796
00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:30,521
when people have worked all their lives
797
00:34:30,721 --> 00:34:32,801
and haven't got half as
much as what they have.
798
00:34:33,001 --> 00:34:34,561
It just don't seem fair.
799
00:34:34,761 --> 00:34:38,541
- So have you
moved up a class now?
800
00:34:40,201 --> 00:34:41,481
- That's difficult to say.
801
00:34:41,681 --> 00:34:43,121
Up a class.
802
00:34:44,321 --> 00:34:45,841
I suppose it feels like that to me.
803
00:34:46,041 --> 00:34:48,321
No, there ain't no need for
food, that's gonna be their.
804
00:34:48,521 --> 00:34:50,161
Now, you've got the sense of pride,
805
00:34:50,361 --> 00:34:51,321
you've got your own house.
806
00:34:51,521 --> 00:34:55,701
I feel like I'm building for the future.
807
00:34:56,881 --> 00:34:59,121
I've been a single
parent for a long while.
808
00:34:59,321 --> 00:35:01,521
I've brought them up on my own, really,
809
00:35:01,721 --> 00:35:05,041
because Catherine was
only two when Bill left.
810
00:35:05,241 --> 00:35:08,081
It's been extremely hard and it's been,
811
00:35:08,281 --> 00:35:10,761
sometimes, it's been very lonely.
812
00:35:10,961 --> 00:35:11,762
- I only had to have one filling, right.
813
00:35:11,962 --> 00:35:14,681
That was about the only
thing that I had done.
814
00:35:14,881 --> 00:35:17,681
- William, he's a computer addict.
815
00:35:17,881 --> 00:35:18,881
He works in the industry
816
00:35:19,081 --> 00:35:22,881
and he also constantly
has a computer on indoors.
817
00:35:23,081 --> 00:35:24,681
- This one's facing in the windows.
818
00:35:24,881 --> 00:35:26,441
- He could have gone to university,
819
00:35:26,641 --> 00:35:28,441
and he knows that and I know that,
820
00:35:28,641 --> 00:35:32,001
and I do regret that for him.
821
00:35:32,201 --> 00:35:33,161
But I've been there.
822
00:35:33,162 --> 00:35:38,021
I can just remember I didn't
wanna do that, either.
823
00:35:38,681 --> 00:35:40,681
And Catherine's temping
824
00:35:40,881 --> 00:35:44,841
because she wants to do a
bit of travelling next year.
825
00:35:45,041 --> 00:35:47,001
People say she's me reincarnated.
826
00:35:47,201 --> 00:35:49,601
I mean, she looks a bit like me
827
00:35:49,801 --> 00:35:52,321
and her mannerisms are exactly like me,
828
00:35:52,521 --> 00:35:56,441
and she likes to enjoy herself.
829
00:35:56,641 --> 00:35:57,481
- Get to aviation.
830
00:35:57,481 --> 00:35:58,401
- I wanted to get...
831
00:35:58,402 --> 00:36:00,481
- To walk into a relationship
832
00:36:00,681 --> 00:36:02,601
with someone who's got two teenagers,
833
00:36:02,801 --> 00:36:04,841
it must have been very difficult for him,
834
00:36:05,041 --> 00:36:08,121
and they do clash occasionally.
835
00:36:08,321 --> 00:36:11,961
I absolutely hate it because
I'm just an easy-going person
836
00:36:12,161 --> 00:36:14,161
and I don't like strife.
837
00:36:14,361 --> 00:36:17,281
They are doing things the
way I've brought them up,
838
00:36:17,481 --> 00:36:20,041
which isn't the way that Glen
would like things to be done,
839
00:36:20,241 --> 00:36:24,081
so you've got to learn to live
together in the same house.
840
00:36:24,281 --> 00:36:28,321
It will always be a learning curve.
841
00:36:28,521 --> 00:36:29,801
I'm a peacemaker.
842
00:36:30,921 --> 00:36:31,761
- When the children
843
00:36:31,762 --> 00:36:33,441
were old enough to go to school,
844
00:36:33,641 --> 00:36:36,881
Sue went back to work and
had a series of office jobs.
845
00:36:37,081 --> 00:36:38,961
She now helps run the MA courses
846
00:36:39,161 --> 00:36:42,681
in the legal faculty of
the university of London.
847
00:36:42,881 --> 00:36:47,441
- Still work for the college
but we moved to Central London.
848
00:36:47,641 --> 00:36:52,561
Now I am sort of the main
administrator for the programme
849
00:36:52,761 --> 00:36:54,161
instead of an assistant
850
00:36:54,361 --> 00:36:57,041
and I've got a couple of
people that help me with that.
851
00:36:57,241 --> 00:36:59,441
Hey, could you fax that
to Mary for me, please?
852
00:36:59,641 --> 00:37:00,960
Thanks.
853
00:37:00,961 --> 00:37:02,161
- So you like
the responsibility?
854
00:37:02,361 --> 00:37:04,241
- Yeah, I love the responsibility.
855
00:37:04,441 --> 00:37:07,081
I think I was born for the responsibility.
856
00:37:07,281 --> 00:37:08,640
Yeah, I love it.
857
00:37:08,641 --> 00:37:09,761
- Well, I've never been abroad but...
858
00:37:09,961 --> 00:37:10,841
- No, nor have I.
859
00:37:10,842 --> 00:37:12,120
- I have, I have.
860
00:37:12,121 --> 00:37:13,801
- Oh, yeah, 'cause you went
on that cruise, didn't you?
861
00:37:14,001 --> 00:37:15,560
- Yeah.
862
00:37:15,561 --> 00:37:18,041
Once a year we go to Cornwall or Devon.
863
00:37:18,241 --> 00:37:20,361
We try to find a different spot every year
864
00:37:20,561 --> 00:37:22,521
and we just bring the dog.
865
00:37:22,721 --> 00:37:24,161
It's just such a lovely place.
866
00:37:24,361 --> 00:37:27,321
Every time you turn a corner,
there's a different sight,
867
00:37:27,521 --> 00:37:28,880
there's a different,
868
00:37:28,881 --> 00:37:30,361
you just never know
what you're gonna find.
869
00:37:30,561 --> 00:37:34,581
Everything's just so beautiful.
870
00:37:35,321 --> 00:37:39,841
We'd both had childhood
holidays here and good memories,
871
00:37:40,041 --> 00:37:41,561
and we decided to come back,
872
00:37:41,761 --> 00:37:44,281
and we've been coming ever since.
873
00:37:44,481 --> 00:37:48,701
It's nice for us just to
be a couple for a week.
874
00:37:49,641 --> 00:37:52,441
When we retire, or maybe
before, if we get lucky,
875
00:37:52,641 --> 00:37:55,601
then this is the sort of
place we'd like to come to.
876
00:37:55,801 --> 00:37:56,761
That little one there,
877
00:37:56,961 --> 00:37:57,961
right in the middle nearest the beach,
878
00:37:58,161 --> 00:38:00,961
that would be ideal, absolute perfect.
879
00:38:01,161 --> 00:38:02,881
The perfect place.
880
00:38:15,081 --> 00:38:18,841
- Vesto, vestas, vest.
881
00:38:19,041 --> 00:38:20,080
Vestat.
882
00:38:20,081 --> 00:38:22,881
Vestamus, vestatis, vestant.
883
00:38:23,081 --> 00:38:24,480
- Here, speak up.
884
00:38:24,481 --> 00:38:26,481
Fill out the gaps on the board there.
885
00:38:26,681 --> 00:38:27,681
- When he was seven,
886
00:38:27,682 --> 00:38:30,121
Bruce was at a preparatory
boarding school.
887
00:38:30,321 --> 00:38:33,241
At 14, St. Paul's in London.
888
00:38:33,441 --> 00:38:37,081
- They don't sort of
enforce being upper class
889
00:38:37,281 --> 00:38:40,361
and things like that at St. Paul's.
890
00:38:40,561 --> 00:38:43,441
They suggest that you don't have long hair
891
00:38:43,641 --> 00:38:45,521
and they do get it cut if,
892
00:38:45,721 --> 00:38:50,121
and they teach you to be
reasonably well-mannered
893
00:38:50,321 --> 00:38:54,901
but not to sniff on the poorer people.
894
00:38:55,921 --> 00:38:58,481
- At 21, he was
in his last year at Oxford,
895
00:38:58,681 --> 00:38:59,761
reading maths.
896
00:39:00,681 --> 00:39:03,441
- You can show that this is irreducible.
897
00:39:03,641 --> 00:39:04,961
Then you do a transformation
898
00:39:05,161 --> 00:39:07,281
on this polynomial X equal to T plus two.
899
00:39:07,481 --> 00:39:09,361
- Good, that's a nice way of doing it,
900
00:39:09,561 --> 00:39:11,641
particularly using Eisenstein down here.
901
00:39:11,841 --> 00:39:12,841
His test is very powerful.
902
00:39:13,041 --> 00:39:13,881
- Yes.
903
00:39:13,881 --> 00:39:14,721
Chris Awanabe.
904
00:39:14,721 --> 00:39:15,681
- Yes, sir!
905
00:39:15,681 --> 00:39:16,521
- Moma Naly.
906
00:39:16,522 --> 00:39:18,081
- Yes, sir!
- At 28,
907
00:39:18,281 --> 00:39:20,441
Bruce was teaching maths in East London.
908
00:39:20,641 --> 00:39:22,601
- Well, I'll go into Africa
909
00:39:22,801 --> 00:39:27,841
and try and teach people
who are not civilised
910
00:39:28,041 --> 00:39:32,261
to be more or less good.
911
00:39:34,801 --> 00:39:37,441
- At 35, he
was teaching in Silet
912
00:39:37,641 --> 00:39:40,281
in Northern Bangladesh.
913
00:39:40,481 --> 00:39:43,081
- And I also got the
chance to learn a bit of Bangla
914
00:39:43,281 --> 00:39:44,641
which is very difficult.
915
00:39:44,841 --> 00:39:46,121
Not doing very well at.
916
00:39:46,321 --> 00:39:49,241
- Bangladesh,
Bangladesh, Bangladesh.
917
00:39:49,441 --> 00:39:50,640
- Bangladesh.
918
00:39:50,641 --> 00:39:51,481
- Bangladesh.
919
00:39:51,482 --> 00:39:52,600
- Bangladesh.
920
00:39:52,601 --> 00:39:55,041
- Before you do anything,
you have to make sure...
921
00:39:55,241 --> 00:39:58,121
- By 42, Bruce
was back in the East End
922
00:39:58,321 --> 00:40:00,081
running the maths department
at a girls' school.
923
00:40:00,281 --> 00:40:01,121
- And then after naught hours,
924
00:40:01,321 --> 00:40:03,641
you can see that it would be 60 litres.
925
00:40:03,841 --> 00:40:07,261
Okay, now you wanna put this information...
926
00:40:21,881 --> 00:40:24,721
- At 49, he's
teaching at St. Albans,
927
00:40:24,921 --> 00:40:26,761
a large boys' independent school
928
00:40:26,961 --> 00:40:29,721
which has girls in the sixth form.
929
00:40:29,921 --> 00:40:31,641
- I sing in the choir,
that happens twice a week.
930
00:40:31,841 --> 00:40:34,401
On Mondays and Fridays we go to the abbey,
931
00:40:34,601 --> 00:40:37,841
because in the early days,
the school was in the abbey,
932
00:40:38,041 --> 00:40:39,881
going back to 948.
933
00:40:41,401 --> 00:40:42,241
- 948?
934
00:40:42,242 --> 00:40:44,761
- Yes, so the head quite likes to say
935
00:40:44,961 --> 00:40:48,081
we're in our third millennium, you know.
936
00:40:48,281 --> 00:40:50,041
- So the school's
over a thousand years old?
937
00:40:50,241 --> 00:40:52,121
- Yes, in one form or another.
938
00:40:52,321 --> 00:40:54,281
You have to make X the
subject of this equation,
939
00:40:54,481 --> 00:40:55,321
you gotta get X on its own.
940
00:40:55,521 --> 00:40:56,521
So what's the first thing we do?
941
00:40:56,721 --> 00:40:57,841
- Multiply both sides by three.
942
00:40:58,041 --> 00:40:58,842
- You don't multiply by three.
943
00:40:59,042 --> 00:41:00,041
- Divide by three.
- Divide, sorry.
944
00:41:00,241 --> 00:41:01,241
- Okay, so...
945
00:41:01,241 --> 00:41:02,081
- Tell me then
946
00:41:02,082 --> 00:41:04,401
what's exciting about
teaching here for you.
947
00:41:04,601 --> 00:41:08,881
- There is a higher
academic level to teach
948
00:41:09,081 --> 00:41:12,081
and then you can see pupils
at a more developed level,
949
00:41:12,281 --> 00:41:13,761
that flash of recognition
950
00:41:13,961 --> 00:41:16,241
and then engendering
their love of the subject
951
00:41:16,441 --> 00:41:19,401
that I had at their age.
952
00:41:19,601 --> 00:41:21,441
There is a class society,
953
00:41:21,641 --> 00:41:26,841
and I think public schools
may help its continuance.
954
00:41:27,041 --> 00:41:29,561
So you're in the lead,
you see, because here...
955
00:41:29,761 --> 00:41:32,121
- Has it been
a kind of compromise
956
00:41:32,321 --> 00:41:35,401
of political principles for you, this?
957
00:41:35,601 --> 00:41:38,201
- Well, I would say have a million angels
958
00:41:38,401 --> 00:41:39,441
in front of every teacher
959
00:41:39,641 --> 00:41:42,601
who's prepared to slog away at
an inner-city comprehensive.
960
00:41:42,801 --> 00:41:43,880
Make way, make way.
961
00:41:43,881 --> 00:41:46,201
This is somebody who's
prepared to turn up each day
962
00:41:46,401 --> 00:41:48,080
and do that job.
963
00:41:48,081 --> 00:41:49,081
Where's the graph?
964
00:41:50,081 --> 00:41:51,600
- 60.
- 60, right.
965
00:41:51,601 --> 00:41:53,881
So when the tank is
full after naught hours.
966
00:41:54,081 --> 00:41:56,761
That motto water weareth away a stone
967
00:41:56,961 --> 00:42:00,361
by dripping upon it, not by smashing it
968
00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:03,521
was as a motto for teaching
that you kept on teaching them,
969
00:42:03,721 --> 00:42:05,961
and that eventually it would get through,
970
00:42:06,161 --> 00:42:10,801
and the pupils would change and
learn and develop and so on.
971
00:42:11,001 --> 00:42:12,721
But I think in the end,
the reverse happened.
972
00:42:12,921 --> 00:42:17,681
That water dripping on me wore me away.
973
00:42:17,881 --> 00:42:22,161
I just thought, I don't think
I can do this till I'm 60,
974
00:42:22,361 --> 00:42:26,841
and therefore, I'll have
to do something else.
975
00:42:27,041 --> 00:42:27,961
- Do your old friends
976
00:42:28,161 --> 00:42:29,761
give you a hard time
about what you've done?
977
00:42:29,961 --> 00:42:30,961
- They certainly do.
978
00:42:30,961 --> 00:42:31,841
They absolutely do.
979
00:42:31,842 --> 00:42:34,441
They say, "Oh, have we
joined the Tory Party,
980
00:42:34,641 --> 00:42:38,621
"the golf club, the Masons?
981
00:42:39,401 --> 00:42:41,441
"You're driving a much
better car than you used to,"
982
00:42:41,641 --> 00:42:42,641
and so on.
983
00:42:43,401 --> 00:42:47,641
Well, my girlfriend is in Africa,
984
00:42:47,841 --> 00:42:50,241
And I don't think I'll have another chance
985
00:42:50,441 --> 00:42:52,320
of seeing her again.
986
00:42:52,321 --> 00:42:53,521
- Have you got any girlfriends?
987
00:42:53,721 --> 00:42:56,440
- No, no, not yet.
988
00:42:56,441 --> 00:42:59,641
I'm sure it will come but not yet.
989
00:42:59,841 --> 00:43:04,201
I mean, I do think a lot of
people think too much about it.
990
00:43:04,401 --> 00:43:08,341
I think I would very much like to,
991
00:43:10,721 --> 00:43:13,881
oh, become involved in a family,
my own family, for a start.
992
00:43:14,081 --> 00:43:17,401
That's a need that I
feel I ought to fulfil
993
00:43:17,601 --> 00:43:20,201
and would like to fulfil
and would do it well.
994
00:43:20,401 --> 00:43:22,361
Yes, I haven't got married or whatever,
995
00:43:22,561 --> 00:43:24,961
and I was supposing that that
would have been something
996
00:43:25,161 --> 00:43:27,481
which I hoped had happened.
997
00:43:27,681 --> 00:43:28,322
- You're getting on a bit.
998
00:43:28,522 --> 00:43:29,561
Are you getting worried?
999
00:43:29,761 --> 00:43:30,522
- Well, not particularly.
1000
00:43:30,722 --> 00:43:32,321
I mean, I'm always optimistic.
1001
00:43:32,521 --> 00:43:35,841
I mean, who knows who
I might meet tomorrow?
1002
00:43:36,041 --> 00:43:37,201
- And in the middle of a conversation
1003
00:43:37,401 --> 00:43:40,201
about something completely different,
1004
00:43:40,401 --> 00:43:45,321
he just asked if I'd like to marry him,
1005
00:43:45,521 --> 00:43:46,761
and if I hadn't been listening carefully,
1006
00:43:46,961 --> 00:43:48,121
I would have missed it completely.
1007
00:43:48,321 --> 00:43:49,801
- To love and to cherish.
1008
00:43:50,001 --> 00:43:51,241
- To love and to cherish.
1009
00:43:51,441 --> 00:43:53,361
- Till death us do part.
1010
00:43:53,561 --> 00:43:55,601
- Till death us do part.
1011
00:43:55,801 --> 00:43:57,521
- Is this a beetroot or something?
1012
00:43:57,721 --> 00:43:59,561
- I think it's just a weed.
1013
00:43:59,761 --> 00:44:02,201
- Do you enjoy gardening?
1014
00:44:02,401 --> 00:44:04,161
- Well, under Penny's directions,
1015
00:44:04,361 --> 00:44:06,081
I do whatever she asks me.
1016
00:44:06,281 --> 00:44:08,441
I don't know what to do here,
1017
00:44:08,641 --> 00:44:10,321
what order to do things in.
1018
00:44:10,521 --> 00:44:13,481
She and her mother are quite good at this.
1019
00:44:13,681 --> 00:44:15,121
- So you're the labourer?
1020
00:44:15,321 --> 00:44:20,121
- Yes, I'm the unpaid labourer, the serf,
1021
00:44:20,321 --> 00:44:22,961
the feudal vassal or whatever.
1022
00:44:23,161 --> 00:44:26,841
Well, Penny will give you
the correct mediaeval terms.
1023
00:44:27,041 --> 00:44:29,281
- We don't argue very much.
1024
00:44:29,481 --> 00:44:30,281
- Not really.
1025
00:44:30,282 --> 00:44:33,041
I mean, we haven't really
had a sort of full-blown row.
1026
00:44:33,241 --> 00:44:36,841
- No, our arguments sort of
tend to be two sentences,
1027
00:44:37,041 --> 00:44:39,681
and I go off and sulk for 24 hours.
1028
00:44:39,881 --> 00:44:41,161
- How are you doing, dear?
1029
00:44:41,361 --> 00:44:42,201
- Fine, thank you.
1030
00:44:42,202 --> 00:44:43,601
And I think the one
positive influence on him,
1031
00:44:43,801 --> 00:44:45,721
I've stopped him apologising.
1032
00:44:45,921 --> 00:44:49,201
When I first knew him, he
kept saying, "Sorry, sorry,"
1033
00:44:49,401 --> 00:44:50,521
and apologised for all sorts of things
1034
00:44:50,721 --> 00:44:53,401
that there was no need to apologise for.
1035
00:44:53,601 --> 00:44:55,441
Maybe it's just 'cause
we weren't married then.
1036
00:44:55,641 --> 00:44:56,921
- Yeah, see, I was winning you over.
1037
00:44:57,121 --> 00:44:58,961
- Yeah, yeah, that's right.
1038
00:44:59,161 --> 00:45:00,921
- Well, you're the world's greatest cook.
1039
00:45:01,121 --> 00:45:02,081
- It's only pasta, wouldn't
think it'll go far...
1040
00:45:02,281 --> 00:45:03,961
- But if you
have emotional issues,
1041
00:45:04,161 --> 00:45:07,061
will you talk about them?
1042
00:45:07,801 --> 00:45:09,521
- Well, I have the usual male reticence
1043
00:45:09,721 --> 00:45:11,041
about that kind of thing.
1044
00:45:11,241 --> 00:45:12,800
Great tea.
1045
00:45:12,801 --> 00:45:14,681
If Penny really wanted
to give me a hard time,
1046
00:45:14,881 --> 00:45:18,561
she'd have to say, "Talk
about your feelings."
1047
00:45:18,761 --> 00:45:19,401
That would be worse...
1048
00:45:19,601 --> 00:45:20,441
- That would be
1049
00:45:20,442 --> 00:45:22,241
the worst thing.
- Than a 24-hour sulk.
1050
00:45:22,441 --> 00:45:23,680
- Yeah.
1051
00:45:23,681 --> 00:45:24,481
- I think so, yeah.
1052
00:45:24,482 --> 00:45:25,401
I don't know whether they
gonna move any of them...
1053
00:45:25,601 --> 00:45:27,201
- We may have children, I don't know.
1054
00:45:27,401 --> 00:45:30,241
I mean, if in seven years' time or so
1055
00:45:30,441 --> 00:45:34,041
we're living in a slightly
bigger house with a young family,
1056
00:45:34,241 --> 00:45:35,760
that would be nice.
1057
00:45:35,761 --> 00:45:37,721
I mean, I don't want to
pin all my hopes on it
1058
00:45:37,921 --> 00:45:39,201
and nothing happens.
1059
00:45:40,281 --> 00:45:41,281
We are quite old.
1060
00:45:41,282 --> 00:45:45,081
I can seeing bringing up, say,
teenage children in your 40s
1061
00:45:45,281 --> 00:45:48,861
might be a bit strange.
1062
00:45:49,241 --> 00:45:49,842
Come on, then, Henry.
1063
00:45:50,042 --> 00:45:51,121
Get on.
1064
00:45:53,201 --> 00:45:55,161
- Is it more
tiring than you thought?
1065
00:45:55,361 --> 00:45:56,601
- I don't think until you're doing it
1066
00:45:56,801 --> 00:45:59,001
you realise how sleep-deprived you get
1067
00:45:59,201 --> 00:46:01,161
and how totally exhausted you are
1068
00:46:01,361 --> 00:46:03,721
all the time for several years.
1069
00:46:03,921 --> 00:46:05,641
I think that came as rather a shock.
1070
00:46:05,841 --> 00:46:09,521
- Sometimes, I go to bed at
8:30, which is ridiculous.
1071
00:46:09,721 --> 00:46:13,881
In fact, I sometimes go to
bed before Henry and George.
1072
00:46:14,081 --> 00:46:17,421
- He looks like
his father, doesn't he?
1073
00:46:17,961 --> 00:46:20,521
- George has got the cheekbones
1074
00:46:20,721 --> 00:46:22,841
that run in Bruce's family.
1075
00:46:23,041 --> 00:46:24,441
- And what have I got?
1076
00:46:24,641 --> 00:46:25,641
- Uh.
1077
00:46:27,921 --> 00:46:32,101
Ooh, that's hard to answer, darling.
1078
00:46:34,881 --> 00:46:36,681
- We're at my first school,
1079
00:46:36,881 --> 00:46:39,961
where I was from about five to eight,
1080
00:46:40,161 --> 00:46:45,221
and this is where I
boarded for three years.
1081
00:46:45,961 --> 00:46:47,481
And I can remember being happy there.
1082
00:46:47,681 --> 00:46:50,881
I can remember also being miserable
1083
00:46:51,081 --> 00:46:52,841
because I can remember crying.
1084
00:46:53,041 --> 00:46:54,320
- Squad, steady!
1085
00:46:54,321 --> 00:46:55,641
- I always seemed to be beaten,
1086
00:46:55,841 --> 00:46:57,801
and I never used to understand why.
1087
00:46:58,001 --> 00:46:59,640
- Squad, halt!
1088
00:46:59,641 --> 00:47:01,041
- You were here because,
1089
00:47:01,241 --> 00:47:02,401
what, your parents were...
1090
00:47:02,601 --> 00:47:07,281
- My parents were separated
and were divorced.
1091
00:47:07,481 --> 00:47:12,281
And just to give me a stable
place to be and be educated,
1092
00:47:12,481 --> 00:47:16,921
it was a solution to all those problems.
1093
00:47:17,121 --> 00:47:19,561
My heart's desire is to see my daddy
1094
00:47:19,761 --> 00:47:23,361
who is 6,000 miles away.
1095
00:47:23,561 --> 00:47:26,201
I did miss contact with my father
1096
00:47:26,401 --> 00:47:29,201
and, well, I say it as a joke to Penny,
1097
00:47:29,401 --> 00:47:32,081
time to send them boarding as I was.
1098
00:47:32,281 --> 00:47:33,761
And she says, "Over my dead body,"
1099
00:47:33,961 --> 00:47:37,401
which is, but I wouldn't
want that, either.
1100
00:47:37,601 --> 00:47:38,760
- Five years ago,
1101
00:47:38,761 --> 00:47:40,601
the family moved away from the East End
1102
00:47:40,801 --> 00:47:41,961
to be near Bruce's new school.
1103
00:47:42,161 --> 00:47:43,001
- Hey, what's in.
1104
00:47:43,002 --> 00:47:45,681
It's very quiet, its child-friendly,
1105
00:47:45,881 --> 00:47:47,241
and it just feels very safe.
1106
00:47:47,441 --> 00:47:49,321
And that's really important
when you've got small children,
1107
00:47:49,521 --> 00:47:52,741
that the area feels safe.
1108
00:47:57,081 --> 00:47:59,001
- And what can you
give them that you didn't have?
1109
00:47:59,201 --> 00:48:02,841
- Contact with
a father that is loving,
1110
00:48:03,041 --> 00:48:06,281
and they can realise that
1111
00:48:06,481 --> 00:48:09,201
and show that love to other people
1112
00:48:09,401 --> 00:48:10,681
and realise when they're letting
1113
00:48:10,881 --> 00:48:12,121
both themselves and me down.
1114
00:48:12,321 --> 00:48:16,661
That could be a sort of
guiding light for them.
1115
00:48:17,121 --> 00:48:20,221
- Do you want any more children?
1116
00:48:20,561 --> 00:48:21,561
- Well.
1117
00:48:22,881 --> 00:48:25,801
- Bruce was originally
talking about a cricket team.
1118
00:48:26,001 --> 00:48:28,521
But he's got his opening batsman,
1119
00:48:28,721 --> 00:48:31,601
and that I think is gonna
be his lot, frankly.
1120
00:48:31,801 --> 00:48:32,482
- I want you to play tomorrow.
1121
00:48:32,682 --> 00:48:35,881
I'm not gonna drop you
from sarcasm, all right?
1122
00:48:36,081 --> 00:48:40,481
I run one of the junior
teams here, the under-13s.
1123
00:48:40,681 --> 00:48:42,921
And there'll be nearly 200 boys there
1124
00:48:43,121 --> 00:48:44,441
doing that on a Saturday
1125
00:48:44,641 --> 00:48:48,241
rather than other things
that could waylay them.
1126
00:48:48,441 --> 00:48:50,201
It's that combination
of playing within a team
1127
00:48:50,401 --> 00:48:54,481
and the ability to back each
other up and form friendships
1128
00:48:54,681 --> 00:48:58,181
that's such a nice thing.
1129
00:48:58,761 --> 00:48:59,960
- Nice shot.
1130
00:48:59,961 --> 00:49:03,041
- At weekends,
Bruce plays village cricket.
1131
00:49:03,241 --> 00:49:05,281
- We don't really mind who wins and loses,
1132
00:49:05,481 --> 00:49:07,041
we obviously prefer to win
1133
00:49:07,241 --> 00:49:11,881
and we go on tour every
year, so we go down to Devon.
1134
00:49:12,081 --> 00:49:13,001
Ever such a nice bunch of mates,
1135
00:49:13,201 --> 00:49:15,641
and I've known some of them for 25 years.
1136
00:49:15,841 --> 00:49:19,881
You can play at a reasonable
level till you're in your 60s.
1137
00:49:20,081 --> 00:49:22,001
- And what
about your batting skills?
1138
00:49:22,201 --> 00:49:23,241
- I'm mainly a bit of a slogger,
1139
00:49:23,441 --> 00:49:27,681
so I tend to bat down the
order, six, seven, eight.
1140
00:49:27,881 --> 00:49:33,921
It can be brief, but the
last time I played, I got 40.
1141
00:49:34,121 --> 00:49:35,121
Ooh!
1142
00:49:36,201 --> 00:49:37,201
- Great goin'!
1143
00:49:39,201 --> 00:49:40,881
- Okay, from their hiding
place in the bushes,
1144
00:49:41,081 --> 00:49:41,921
William and...
1145
00:49:41,922 --> 00:49:43,521
- Do you have
fears for the future?
1146
00:49:43,721 --> 00:49:45,041
- Personally, I've kind of worried
1147
00:49:45,241 --> 00:49:47,761
that the boys will turn out all right.
1148
00:49:47,961 --> 00:49:50,641
I hope they avoid drugs.
1149
00:49:50,841 --> 00:49:54,441
To see them sleeping or carry
them around is just fantastic,
1150
00:49:54,641 --> 00:49:58,761
and just the smell of them
and the look of them is just,
1151
00:49:58,961 --> 00:49:59,841
you just want to protect them
1152
00:50:00,041 --> 00:50:04,321
from everything that's harmful to them.
1153
00:50:04,521 --> 00:50:06,201
- When you look
back at yourself at seven,
1154
00:50:06,401 --> 00:50:08,161
can we see you now?
1155
00:50:09,841 --> 00:50:11,721
- I can't really recognise myself.
1156
00:50:11,921 --> 00:50:14,121
He looks a little bit
lost and a little bit sad,
1157
00:50:14,321 --> 00:50:17,281
and I think I'm quite sort of surprised
1158
00:50:17,481 --> 00:50:22,981
to be sort of contented
and reasonably happy.
1159
00:50:24,801 --> 00:50:26,361
- Do you have a dream?
1160
00:50:26,561 --> 00:50:27,841
- Well, I'd have probably
liked to have played
1161
00:50:28,041 --> 00:50:32,241
international cricket but
I just wasn't good enough.
1162
00:50:32,441 --> 00:50:34,841
You know, one's dreams go,
and the day-to-day living
1163
00:50:35,041 --> 00:50:40,301
of ordinary life and
family life takes over,
1164
00:50:41,001 --> 00:50:46,061
I think we just sort of
live without our dreams.
1165
00:50:56,041 --> 00:50:59,881
- I don't like the big boys hitting us
1166
00:51:00,081 --> 00:51:06,021
and the prefects sending
us out for nothing.
1167
00:51:06,961 --> 00:51:08,320
- When he was seven,
1168
00:51:08,321 --> 00:51:12,661
Paul was in care in a
children's home in London.
1169
00:51:13,321 --> 00:51:16,121
Were you happy at the
children's home in England?
1170
00:51:16,321 --> 00:51:17,321
- I didn't mind that, really,
1171
00:51:17,521 --> 00:51:19,481
'cause we didn't know what was going on
1172
00:51:19,681 --> 00:51:21,281
'cause we were a bit young.
1173
00:51:21,481 --> 00:51:23,761
Well, as far as I know,
my mother and father,
1174
00:51:23,961 --> 00:51:27,541
well, they separated originally, I think.
1175
00:51:28,081 --> 00:51:29,961
They eventually got divorced.
1176
00:51:30,161 --> 00:51:31,041
I went to the boarding
school for one year,
1177
00:51:31,241 --> 00:51:35,041
and then we emigrated to Australia.
1178
00:51:35,241 --> 00:51:37,121
- Paul settled with
his father and stepmother
1179
00:51:37,321 --> 00:51:40,001
in a suburb of Melbourne.
1180
00:51:40,201 --> 00:51:41,681
What mark has it left on you
1181
00:51:41,881 --> 00:51:44,121
the fact that you were brought
up within a bad marriage?
1182
00:51:44,321 --> 00:51:46,081
- The only thing I can say
1183
00:51:46,281 --> 00:51:48,121
that I think might have come from that
1184
00:51:48,321 --> 00:51:50,601
is just my lack of confidence
1185
00:51:50,801 --> 00:51:54,481
and being able to show my
feelings, really, I suppose.
1186
00:51:54,681 --> 00:51:56,761
- Would you
like to get married, Paul?
1187
00:51:56,961 --> 00:51:58,240
- No.
1188
00:51:58,241 --> 00:51:59,560
- Tell me why not.
1189
00:51:59,561 --> 00:52:01,001
- I don't like...
1190
00:52:02,481 --> 00:52:05,280
Say you had a wife.
1191
00:52:05,281 --> 00:52:09,401
They say you had to eat
what they cooked you,
1192
00:52:09,601 --> 00:52:12,841
and say I don't like greens.
1193
00:52:13,041 --> 00:52:14,041
Well, I don't.
1194
00:52:14,881 --> 00:52:17,841
Oh, no, I prefer to be alone, really.
1195
00:52:18,041 --> 00:52:21,441
I can't say I don't wanna get
married, 'cause I think I do,
1196
00:52:21,641 --> 00:52:22,801
but I wanna be happily married
1197
00:52:23,001 --> 00:52:25,481
and therefore, I wanna make sure, I think.
1198
00:52:25,681 --> 00:52:27,121
- What is it
that you fell in love with?
1199
00:52:27,321 --> 00:52:28,441
What is it about him?
1200
00:52:28,641 --> 00:52:30,481
- His helplessness, I suppose.
1201
00:52:30,681 --> 00:52:32,641
It was the motherly instinct in me
1202
00:52:32,841 --> 00:52:33,961
to pick him up and cuddle him.
1203
00:52:34,161 --> 00:52:36,161
And he's also very good looking, I think,
1204
00:52:36,361 --> 00:52:38,801
but he doesn't agree with me.
1205
00:52:39,001 --> 00:52:42,721
In the summer he's got this
cute little bum in shorts.
1206
00:52:42,921 --> 00:52:44,441
I mean, I can tell quite
a few stories here,
1207
00:52:44,641 --> 00:52:46,761
but the one that really
irritates me the most
1208
00:52:46,961 --> 00:52:49,761
is when we have an argument he
says, "That's it, leave me."
1209
00:52:49,961 --> 00:52:51,561
And I say, "Fine, all
right, I will one day."
1210
00:52:51,761 --> 00:52:55,761
We had our 20th wedding
anniversary just before Christmas.
1211
00:52:55,961 --> 00:52:56,762
- Which is the life sentence.
1212
00:52:56,962 --> 00:52:58,361
- Yeah, everyone reckons
1213
00:52:58,561 --> 00:53:00,321
that we should be out of jail by now.
1214
00:53:00,521 --> 00:53:02,081
- To a certain extent we started thinking,
1215
00:53:02,281 --> 00:53:04,761
well, do we really know each other now?
1216
00:53:04,961 --> 00:53:08,681
Because you just get in the
humdrum of going to work,
1217
00:53:08,881 --> 00:53:10,480
coming back home...
1218
00:53:10,481 --> 00:53:11,282
- Running kids here and...
1219
00:53:11,482 --> 00:53:12,441
- Kids here and there.
1220
00:53:12,641 --> 00:53:13,242
I don't think you mean to
1221
00:53:13,442 --> 00:53:16,681
but you probably stop thinking
about each other a lot.
1222
00:53:16,881 --> 00:53:19,761
I find it hard to express
emotion most of the time,
1223
00:53:19,961 --> 00:53:24,681
although I'm getting on
top of that more now.
1224
00:53:24,881 --> 00:53:26,521
Just the simple things,
to say to, sort of,
1225
00:53:26,721 --> 00:53:29,361
Susan, I love you, something like that.
1226
00:53:29,561 --> 00:53:30,681
I can tell you about it,
1227
00:53:30,881 --> 00:53:37,121
but I really haven't been
able to say it freely to Sue.
1228
00:53:37,321 --> 00:53:38,241
It's a bit hard to talk about.
1229
00:53:38,441 --> 00:53:40,281
I did end up having to get a bit of help,
1230
00:53:40,481 --> 00:53:42,561
and it wasn't directly
due to our relationship.
1231
00:53:42,761 --> 00:53:44,641
It started at work, unfortunately,
1232
00:53:44,841 --> 00:53:47,361
which brought my self-esteem down
1233
00:53:47,561 --> 00:53:50,601
which tended to affect everything else.
1234
00:53:50,801 --> 00:53:52,681
And I was just very fortunate
1235
00:53:52,881 --> 00:53:56,281
that I saw a local
doctor and with her help,
1236
00:53:56,481 --> 00:54:00,121
I started coming back to
normal thinking, probably.
1237
00:54:00,321 --> 00:54:04,601
I mean, I was feeling a little bit worried
1238
00:54:04,801 --> 00:54:05,442
about the relationship
1239
00:54:05,642 --> 00:54:07,201
because I felt like I hadn't progressed.
1240
00:54:07,401 --> 00:54:08,241
I was going backwards.
1241
00:54:08,441 --> 00:54:10,881
And, I mean, I still believe that.
1242
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:14,441
I was thinking that why would Susan
1243
00:54:14,641 --> 00:54:16,801
wanna be with someone as,
1244
00:54:17,001 --> 00:54:18,681
sounds funny but as boring as me,
1245
00:54:18,881 --> 00:54:20,201
'cause there was nothing there.
1246
00:54:20,401 --> 00:54:21,681
I mean, what do I do?
1247
00:54:21,881 --> 00:54:25,480
- How do I say it?
1248
00:54:25,481 --> 00:54:27,241
It was a shock that he got that low
1249
00:54:27,441 --> 00:54:28,601
and that he doubted the relationship
1250
00:54:28,801 --> 00:54:30,081
because one thing I've always known
1251
00:54:30,281 --> 00:54:32,721
is that Paul's never
doubted his love for me.
1252
00:54:32,921 --> 00:54:34,121
You know, it's always been there,
1253
00:54:34,321 --> 00:54:36,921
and I've never doubted it, either.
1254
00:54:37,121 --> 00:54:39,641
- Did the physical
side of your marriage suffer?
1255
00:54:39,841 --> 00:54:40,841
- I think it did.
1256
00:54:42,441 --> 00:54:43,641
I think it did, really.
1257
00:54:43,841 --> 00:54:46,381
- For a little while.
1258
00:54:47,001 --> 00:54:49,881
We promised ourselves
when we first got married
1259
00:54:50,081 --> 00:54:52,801
that we'd never stop touching
1260
00:54:53,001 --> 00:54:54,841
or being affectionate towards each other.
1261
00:54:55,041 --> 00:54:57,121
And in front of the
children, we've always been,
1262
00:54:57,321 --> 00:54:59,081
and even now with the children,
1263
00:54:59,281 --> 00:55:04,081
we still embrace a lot,
both Katy and Robert.
1264
00:55:04,281 --> 00:55:05,121
I mean...
1265
00:55:05,122 --> 00:55:09,761
- Katy will sometimes
say, "Mother, stop it."
1266
00:55:09,961 --> 00:55:11,001
I was gonna be a policeman
1267
00:55:11,201 --> 00:55:15,561
but I thought how hard
it would be to join in.
1268
00:55:15,761 --> 00:55:17,361
I just haven't made up my mind yet.
1269
00:55:17,561 --> 00:55:18,921
I was gonna be a phys ed teacher
1270
00:55:19,121 --> 00:55:21,361
but one of the teachers told me
1271
00:55:21,561 --> 00:55:26,181
that you had to get up into university.
1272
00:55:27,161 --> 00:55:29,601
- At 21, Paul
was a junior partner
1273
00:55:29,801 --> 00:55:32,641
in a firm of bricklayers.
1274
00:55:32,841 --> 00:55:37,201
By 28, he'd gone out on
his own as a subcontractor.
1275
00:55:37,401 --> 00:55:40,601
- I think when I started work for myself,
1276
00:55:40,801 --> 00:55:42,681
things were looking good for me
1277
00:55:42,881 --> 00:55:44,601
'cause I was out of school,
1278
00:55:44,801 --> 00:55:48,041
something I was very enthusiastic about.
1279
00:55:48,241 --> 00:55:50,481
And I was chasing the dangling carrot
1280
00:55:50,681 --> 00:55:53,401
but never got there
'cause, I mean, really,
1281
00:55:53,601 --> 00:55:58,761
I'm a worker and not a businessman.
1282
00:55:58,961 --> 00:56:00,641
- By the time he was 42,
1283
00:56:00,841 --> 00:56:02,601
Paul was doing factory work,
1284
00:56:02,801 --> 00:56:06,121
making signs for a plastics company.
1285
00:56:06,321 --> 00:56:08,721
What's the future for you
at work, do you think?
1286
00:56:08,921 --> 00:56:10,481
- Well, I mean, the job's still there.
1287
00:56:10,681 --> 00:56:11,721
I've had talks with them
1288
00:56:11,921 --> 00:56:14,961
about whether they were
ushering me out the door,
1289
00:56:15,161 --> 00:56:16,601
and they say they're not.
1290
00:56:16,801 --> 00:56:18,321
Not that I'm that old,
but it's a bit of worry
1291
00:56:18,521 --> 00:56:23,141
about getting a full-time
job with my skill levels.
1292
00:56:25,001 --> 00:56:26,241
- Sue had been a hairdresser
1293
00:56:26,441 --> 00:56:29,481
for most of her working life, but at 49,
1294
00:56:29,681 --> 00:56:31,400
she has a new career
1295
00:56:31,401 --> 00:56:36,021
as an occupational therapist
in a retirement home.
1296
00:56:36,801 --> 00:56:38,241
- You might be in
your 40's and getting older,
1297
00:56:38,441 --> 00:56:39,801
but you still have a lot to add
1298
00:56:40,001 --> 00:56:42,601
and you can learn to go
in a different direction.
1299
00:56:42,801 --> 00:56:45,741
I call this my sea change.
1300
00:56:45,961 --> 00:56:47,361
- Do you have ambitions?
1301
00:56:47,561 --> 00:56:48,561
- Not really now.
1302
00:56:49,481 --> 00:56:51,161
I've been in this job 10 years
1303
00:56:51,361 --> 00:56:52,881
and never asked for a pay rise.
1304
00:56:53,081 --> 00:56:56,441
That's just what I've always been like.
1305
00:56:56,641 --> 00:56:58,841
- Has it
affected home life at all?
1306
00:56:59,041 --> 00:57:00,441
- It has affected a little bit
1307
00:57:00,641 --> 00:57:03,401
because I'm not there at
home as much as I used to be
1308
00:57:03,601 --> 00:57:05,681
for when Paul got home.
1309
00:57:05,881 --> 00:57:06,881
- It can be,
1310
00:57:08,321 --> 00:57:09,361
and I'm sure I'm not the only one,
1311
00:57:09,561 --> 00:57:11,721
it can be quite startling.
1312
00:57:11,921 --> 00:57:14,441
You get home and you
think, there's no one here.
1313
00:57:14,641 --> 00:57:16,881
- When I've been here
for 30 years to be home to.
1314
00:57:17,081 --> 00:57:18,601
- It's really different.
1315
00:57:18,801 --> 00:57:19,881
- Oh, good fist away by...
1316
00:57:20,081 --> 00:57:21,681
- By the time they were 28,
1317
00:57:21,881 --> 00:57:26,361
Paul and Sue had two
children, Katy and Robert.
1318
00:57:26,561 --> 00:57:28,561
- Picked up.
1319
00:57:29,961 --> 00:57:31,601
- Katy did well at school
1320
00:57:31,801 --> 00:57:36,401
and got a place at university
to study archaeology.
1321
00:57:36,601 --> 00:57:39,601
- They're photos of the
dig in Cyprus that I went on
1322
00:57:39,801 --> 00:57:42,201
and we were digging in bronze age tombs
1323
00:57:42,401 --> 00:57:44,521
that are around the village.
1324
00:57:44,721 --> 00:57:46,241
- You're the first person
1325
00:57:46,441 --> 00:57:47,441
in the family to go to university.
1326
00:57:47,641 --> 00:57:49,561
Was it a struggle for you?
1327
00:57:49,761 --> 00:57:53,601
- It was a bit because I
had to do it all by myself.
1328
00:57:53,801 --> 00:57:55,521
I had nobody to really help me
1329
00:57:55,721 --> 00:57:57,161
'cause mum and dad couldn't help me
1330
00:57:57,361 --> 00:57:59,681
with my essays or things like that.
1331
00:57:59,881 --> 00:58:02,281
- What does university mean?
1332
00:58:02,481 --> 00:58:03,681
I'm pretty happy with Katy
1333
00:58:03,881 --> 00:58:05,121
and I'm not having a go at Rob,
1334
00:58:05,321 --> 00:58:07,481
but I've got views for Robert,
1335
00:58:07,681 --> 00:58:10,521
'cause he's struggling a little bit.
1336
00:58:10,721 --> 00:58:14,201
- Robert has
trained as a car mechanic.
1337
00:58:14,401 --> 00:58:16,481
- He's got reading and
writing difficulties
1338
00:58:16,681 --> 00:58:18,041
and, I mean, he's coping with that.
1339
00:58:18,241 --> 00:58:21,001
We'd like to see him be a
little bit more proactive
1340
00:58:21,201 --> 00:58:24,841
at doing literacy course
now he's a bit older.
1341
00:58:25,041 --> 00:58:28,801
But just day-to-day troubles
of making ends meet with money,
1342
00:58:29,001 --> 00:58:30,640
that's always hard.
1343
00:58:30,641 --> 00:58:32,521
- He went nuts at me for using the phone,
1344
00:58:32,721 --> 00:58:33,402
"No more fucking back,
1345
00:58:33,602 --> 00:58:36,601
"you constantly fuckin'
do this all the time."
1346
00:58:36,801 --> 00:58:39,321
- What's Robert
got that you gave him?
1347
00:58:39,521 --> 00:58:40,880
- Moodiness.
1348
00:58:40,881 --> 00:58:42,561
I think Robert's even
a little bit more moody
1349
00:58:42,761 --> 00:58:45,121
than what I've ever been.
1350
00:58:45,321 --> 00:58:49,501
He's not your average relaxed 21-year-old.
1351
00:58:50,961 --> 00:58:52,800
- Whatcha doin'?
1352
00:58:52,801 --> 00:58:55,321
We only had two children,
because we thought
1353
00:58:55,521 --> 00:58:57,081
that we couldn't love any more children
1354
00:58:57,281 --> 00:58:58,281
as much as we loved our two.
1355
00:58:58,481 --> 00:59:01,001
And now we've got our two
grandchildren, we just love them.
1356
00:59:01,201 --> 00:59:01,922
- We love them as much, really.
1357
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:03,920
- As much, yeah.
1358
00:59:03,921 --> 00:59:05,720
Yay!
1359
00:59:05,721 --> 00:59:06,522
- With Rob and Stacey,
1360
00:59:06,722 --> 00:59:09,321
we don't really know how
long they're gonna last for
1361
00:59:09,521 --> 00:59:13,521
and I keep my fingers
crossed they will last.
1362
00:59:13,721 --> 00:59:17,801
We can only hope that they
work at it like we do.
1363
00:59:18,001 --> 00:59:21,201
- That's better, thank you.
1364
00:59:21,401 --> 00:59:22,241
- In their 20s,
1365
00:59:22,242 --> 00:59:25,201
Paul and Sue sold up, bought an old van
1366
00:59:25,401 --> 00:59:27,601
and travelled across Australia.
1367
00:59:27,801 --> 00:59:29,321
- I think it brought us closer together,
1368
00:59:29,521 --> 00:59:30,761
because we really got to know each other
1369
00:59:30,961 --> 00:59:34,501
and relied on each other so much.
1370
00:59:36,481 --> 00:59:37,761
- One of the most important things
1371
00:59:37,961 --> 00:59:40,201
we ever did with our children
was spend time with them.
1372
00:59:40,401 --> 00:59:43,241
And particularly, when
you've got holidays,
1373
00:59:43,441 --> 00:59:45,121
to actually, which a lot of parents do,
1374
00:59:45,321 --> 00:59:48,781
go camping with them.
1375
00:59:50,201 --> 00:59:51,241
- We've been camping there now,
1376
00:59:51,441 --> 00:59:53,201
we've actually went to that for 19 years,
1377
00:59:53,401 --> 00:59:56,401
'cause Robert was two
when we first went there.
1378
00:59:56,601 --> 00:59:57,961
- So does this beat the old van?
1379
00:59:58,161 --> 00:59:59,921
- This is the Hilton
compared to that old van.
1380
01:00:00,121 --> 01:00:01,241
- So you've got any plans
1381
01:00:01,441 --> 01:00:03,801
for any big trips now
the children have gone?
1382
01:00:04,001 --> 01:00:05,481
- I think we'd like to do something again
1383
01:00:05,681 --> 01:00:08,201
but you need to have the finances
1384
01:00:08,401 --> 01:00:10,761
to support yourself for a few months.
1385
01:00:10,961 --> 01:00:14,561
- The monitors opened the
washroom, sendin' us out,
1386
01:00:14,761 --> 01:00:19,901
well, there's no talking,
and I wasn't talking today.
1387
01:00:20,201 --> 01:00:25,281
I'm more at peace around
the horses and the animals.
1388
01:00:25,481 --> 01:00:28,121
I can be upset, I can be on
edge, come down to the horses,
1389
01:00:28,321 --> 01:00:30,121
within three or four
minutes of being here,
1390
01:00:30,321 --> 01:00:32,521
and I've forgotten everything,
1391
01:00:32,721 --> 01:00:35,621
so it does calm you down.
1392
01:00:36,641 --> 01:00:38,201
- So last time I
came, you had the horses.
1393
01:00:38,401 --> 01:00:40,921
What's happened to the horses?
1394
01:00:41,121 --> 01:00:44,321
- Well, we gave Poykin away to some people
1395
01:00:44,521 --> 01:00:47,441
because it was a little bit expensive
1396
01:00:47,641 --> 01:00:50,841
and also the fun went
out of it, basically.
1397
01:00:51,041 --> 01:00:52,521
- How do you get that peace now?
1398
01:00:52,721 --> 01:00:56,781
- Well, I think I got it through running.
1399
01:00:58,681 --> 01:01:01,241
- Well, most Sunday
mornings, we go training.
1400
01:01:01,441 --> 01:01:03,921
When Paul is doing marathons,
1401
01:01:04,121 --> 01:01:05,881
when he's gotta run great distances,
1402
01:01:06,081 --> 01:01:08,281
I follow along with the
bike as a bit of support
1403
01:01:08,481 --> 01:01:13,121
and I take drinks for him so
he doesn't get dehydrated.
1404
01:01:13,321 --> 01:01:16,161
Something we can do
together, so we do that.
1405
01:01:16,361 --> 01:01:18,841
We're not doing any great
distances, we're just,
1406
01:01:19,041 --> 01:01:20,161
I've got an injured knee.
1407
01:01:20,361 --> 01:01:23,961
Just trying to build it up so
it gets used to running again.
1408
01:01:24,161 --> 01:01:26,041
I did the host city marathon,
1409
01:01:26,241 --> 01:01:29,081
was my first marathon I did up in Sydney.
1410
01:01:29,281 --> 01:01:32,761
And I trialled the Olympic
course, and it was open to anyone.
1411
01:01:32,961 --> 01:01:36,041
So I figured if you were
gonna do a marathon,
1412
01:01:36,241 --> 01:01:39,281
that'd be the one to do.
1413
01:01:39,481 --> 01:01:42,841
Nearly died, but I enjoyed it.
1414
01:01:43,041 --> 01:01:44,401
My idea of happiness to me
1415
01:01:44,601 --> 01:01:49,081
is a love for life and a love for people.
1416
01:01:49,281 --> 01:01:50,201
- When you
look back on the marriage
1417
01:01:50,401 --> 01:01:52,641
and the family, any regrets?
1418
01:01:52,841 --> 01:01:55,281
- No, we wish we'd had more
children, but then who knows?
1419
01:01:55,481 --> 01:01:57,761
If we'd had them, might
have gone, no, too many.
1420
01:01:57,961 --> 01:02:02,581
- We might be both in the nuthouse.
1421
01:02:02,801 --> 01:02:04,641
- But without a
family, what have you got?
1422
01:02:04,841 --> 01:02:06,440
Nothing.
1423
01:02:06,441 --> 01:02:08,681
Well, that's the way I feel.
1424
01:02:08,881 --> 01:02:10,401
- More than
work, more than achieving?
1425
01:02:10,601 --> 01:02:13,201
- Yeah, like, what you've got,
1426
01:02:13,401 --> 01:02:14,721
you've got nothing
unless you've got family
1427
01:02:14,921 --> 01:02:17,321
and your health anyway.
1428
01:02:17,521 --> 01:02:21,901
You'd be awfully lonely
without family, I think.
1429
01:02:22,961 --> 01:02:26,781
- Tell me, do you
have any boyfriends, Suzy?
1430
01:02:27,321 --> 01:02:28,920
- Yes.
1431
01:02:28,921 --> 01:02:30,760
- Tell me about him.
1432
01:02:30,761 --> 01:02:35,381
- He lives up in Scotland,
and I think he's 13.
1433
01:02:36,881 --> 01:02:40,261
- Have you got
any boyfriends, Susan?
1434
01:02:42,041 --> 01:02:48,301
What is your attitude towards
marriage for yourself?
1435
01:02:50,841 --> 01:02:51,561
- Well, I don't know.
1436
01:02:51,761 --> 01:02:52,482
I mean, I haven't given
it a lot of thought,
1437
01:02:52,682 --> 01:02:56,101
'cause I am very, very cynical about it.
1438
01:02:58,281 --> 01:03:00,481
But then you get a certain
amount of faith restored in it.
1439
01:03:00,681 --> 01:03:01,961
I mean, I've got friends,
1440
01:03:02,161 --> 01:03:04,601
and their parents are happily married,
1441
01:03:04,801 --> 01:03:06,561
and so it does put faith back into you
1442
01:03:06,761 --> 01:03:09,721
but me myself, I'm very cynical about it.
1443
01:03:09,921 --> 01:03:12,401
- When I last saw
you at 21, you were nervous,
1444
01:03:12,601 --> 01:03:14,521
you were chain-smoking, you were uptight,
1445
01:03:14,721 --> 01:03:17,201
and now you seem happy.
1446
01:03:17,401 --> 01:03:21,521
What's happened to you over
these last seven years?
1447
01:03:21,721 --> 01:03:22,721
- I suppose Rupert.
1448
01:03:23,961 --> 01:03:26,481
I'll give you some credit.
1449
01:03:26,681 --> 01:03:31,301
- I'm now chain-smoking.
1450
01:03:32,041 --> 01:03:34,721
- No, I think you can't
just walk through a marriage
1451
01:03:34,921 --> 01:03:36,041
and think it's once you get married,
1452
01:03:36,241 --> 01:03:40,201
it's all gonna be roses
and everything forever.
1453
01:03:40,401 --> 01:03:43,261
You know, you have...
1454
01:03:43,921 --> 01:03:46,881
Everybody has their rows but
we've never yet had a row
1455
01:03:47,081 --> 01:03:50,001
that we haven't managed to sort out.
1456
01:03:50,201 --> 01:03:52,201
It's very hard to actually say what it is
1457
01:03:52,401 --> 01:03:54,401
that goes on between a couple,
1458
01:03:54,601 --> 01:03:58,501
it's either there or it's not.
1459
01:03:58,721 --> 01:04:01,841
We've been married 27 years now.
1460
01:04:02,041 --> 01:04:05,161
Any marriage has its ups and downs,
1461
01:04:05,361 --> 01:04:09,481
but somehow, whether it's
through luck or determination,
1462
01:04:09,681 --> 01:04:14,741
we've worked through the difficult times.
1463
01:04:15,961 --> 01:04:18,201
He's just always been there for me,
1464
01:04:18,401 --> 01:04:22,681
and I know I can rely on him.
1465
01:04:22,881 --> 01:04:25,361
And he's my punch bag
1466
01:04:25,561 --> 01:04:29,521
in the same way as I'm
probably his, but it works.
1467
01:04:29,721 --> 01:04:32,361
When I get married, I'd
like to have two children.
1468
01:04:32,561 --> 01:04:35,441
I'm not very children-minded
at the moment.
1469
01:04:35,641 --> 01:04:38,661
I don't know if I ever will be.
1470
01:04:39,521 --> 01:04:40,681
- What do you think about them?
1471
01:04:40,881 --> 01:04:44,541
- Oh, I don't like babies.
1472
01:04:45,081 --> 01:04:50,521
- At 28, Suzy had
two sons, Thomas and Oliver.
1473
01:04:50,721 --> 01:04:55,561
By the time she was 34,
Suzy had a daughter, Laura.
1474
01:04:55,761 --> 01:04:56,641
- Mummy?
1475
01:04:56,641 --> 01:04:57,481
- Yeah?
1476
01:04:57,481 --> 01:04:58,321
- I don't want to.
1477
01:04:58,322 --> 01:05:01,541
- So what
are the children up to?
1478
01:05:03,001 --> 01:05:05,641
- Tom is living in
London, having graduated,
1479
01:05:05,841 --> 01:05:08,281
and now working and living in London.
1480
01:05:08,481 --> 01:05:11,841
Ollie is working and living at home
1481
01:05:12,041 --> 01:05:15,941
and Laura is doing her AS levels.
1482
01:05:16,201 --> 01:05:20,001
It was difficult when they
first started to move away.
1483
01:05:20,201 --> 01:05:23,081
All those memories of
the children growing up.
1484
01:05:23,281 --> 01:05:24,761
It's like a closed chapter now,
1485
01:05:24,961 --> 01:05:29,421
'cause you can't bring those days back.
1486
01:05:31,041 --> 01:05:32,601
I think what I admire
about the young today
1487
01:05:32,801 --> 01:05:37,361
is their confidence, and
that's what I wished I'd had.
1488
01:05:37,561 --> 01:05:43,981
They just seem to take
life and deal with it.
1489
01:05:45,641 --> 01:05:47,321
- What sort of things do you do?
1490
01:05:47,521 --> 01:05:52,301
- Ride, swim, play tennis, ping-pong.
1491
01:05:53,361 --> 01:05:58,581
And I might play croquet,
anything like that.
1492
01:05:59,481 --> 01:06:02,441
- I did have a privileged childhood,
1493
01:06:02,641 --> 01:06:05,681
but you have to take
responsibility for your life
1494
01:06:05,881 --> 01:06:07,761
somewhere along the line,
1495
01:06:07,961 --> 01:06:11,241
and some people take
responsibility earlier than others.
1496
01:06:11,441 --> 01:06:14,861
I was just a bit later taking it.
1497
01:06:15,881 --> 01:06:19,201
Maybe now is the first time
1498
01:06:19,401 --> 01:06:23,441
that I actually feel
happy within my own skin.
1499
01:06:23,641 --> 01:06:27,921
It's taken me a long time to do it,
1500
01:06:28,121 --> 01:06:29,561
but I actually feel
1501
01:06:30,641 --> 01:06:32,201
that I can accept decisions,
1502
01:06:32,401 --> 01:06:35,641
wrong decisions, possibly,
that I've made in the past,
1503
01:06:35,841 --> 01:06:36,961
I am comfortable with it now.
1504
01:06:37,161 --> 01:06:38,161
I can live with it.
1505
01:06:40,161 --> 01:06:41,681
- So what's it been like for you
1506
01:06:41,881 --> 01:06:44,621
being in these films?
1507
01:06:45,921 --> 01:06:49,541
- Very difficult, very painful.
1508
01:06:50,561 --> 01:06:53,961
Not an experience I've enjoyed in any way.
1509
01:06:54,161 --> 01:06:56,201
Every seven years, it throws up issues
1510
01:06:56,401 --> 01:07:01,361
that I guess we all learn
to put into compartments
1511
01:07:01,561 --> 01:07:02,362
between the seven years,
1512
01:07:02,562 --> 01:07:07,421
and then it all gets opened
up again, and it's difficult.
1513
01:07:09,161 --> 01:07:10,241
We were all landed in it,
1514
01:07:10,441 --> 01:07:13,281
and most of us have, whatever reason,
1515
01:07:13,481 --> 01:07:16,541
chosen to go through with it.
1516
01:07:17,721 --> 01:07:21,541
I'm not an outgoing, confident person.
1517
01:07:21,841 --> 01:07:23,040
I like my privacy.
1518
01:07:23,041 --> 01:07:27,801
I don't like however many million people
1519
01:07:28,001 --> 01:07:31,421
picking over my life.
1520
01:07:32,401 --> 01:07:35,568
- And is that
what they do, do you think?
1521
01:07:35,961 --> 01:07:37,521
- I should think for a
couple of minutes, yes,
1522
01:07:37,721 --> 01:07:41,141
and then it's yesterday's news.
1523
01:07:42,481 --> 01:07:47,281
And people seem to read into
what they think we all think,
1524
01:07:47,481 --> 01:07:50,361
which I find very hurtful, really,
1525
01:07:50,561 --> 01:07:53,121
'cause most of them come up
with things that they think,
1526
01:07:53,321 --> 01:07:56,521
which is nothing like what's
going through my head.
1527
01:07:56,721 --> 01:07:59,881
Oh, so she might be all right.
1528
01:08:00,081 --> 01:08:03,361
What's the point of people sort
of going into people's lives
1529
01:08:03,561 --> 01:08:04,801
and saying, "Why do you like
this?" and, "Why don't you?"
1530
01:08:05,001 --> 01:08:06,401
I just don't see any point in it.
1531
01:08:06,601 --> 01:08:09,521
- So have you had
enough of being in the film?
1532
01:08:09,721 --> 01:08:11,201
- I mean, who knows in seven years
1533
01:08:11,401 --> 01:08:17,121
whether it'll be done again but this is me
1534
01:08:17,321 --> 01:08:21,521
saying hopefully, I'll reach
my half-century next year,
1535
01:08:21,721 --> 01:08:24,281
and I shall bow out.
1536
01:08:28,761 --> 01:08:30,401
- And what
about the other children,
1537
01:08:30,601 --> 01:08:33,721
where are they now, what are they doing?
1538
01:08:33,921 --> 01:08:37,881
- If I can change the world
I'd change into a diamond.
1539
01:08:38,081 --> 01:08:39,401
I don't really think
that I've done anything
1540
01:08:39,601 --> 01:08:41,361
you can call a great success.
1541
01:08:41,561 --> 01:08:44,641
- When I was born, an illegitimate child,
1542
01:08:44,841 --> 01:08:49,321
that something's only whispered about.
1543
01:08:49,521 --> 01:08:51,401
- I'm going to work in Woolworths.
1544
01:08:51,601 --> 01:08:54,961
At times you think
Christ what have I done?
1545
01:08:55,161 --> 01:08:58,001
- I read the "Financial times".
1546
01:08:58,201 --> 01:09:00,241
- I read "The Observer" and "The Times".
1547
01:09:00,441 --> 01:09:03,321
It's very irresponsible
because we all want more money,
1548
01:09:03,521 --> 01:09:05,441
as much money as we can get.
1549
01:09:05,641 --> 01:09:07,721
- When I grow up I want to be an astronaut
1550
01:09:07,921 --> 01:09:09,521
but if I can't be an astronaut,
1551
01:09:09,721 --> 01:09:12,401
I think I'll be a coach driver.
1552
01:09:12,601 --> 01:09:14,761
I tend to think most likely answer
1553
01:09:14,961 --> 01:09:16,281
is that I'll be wandering homeless
1554
01:09:16,481 --> 01:09:18,361
round the streets of London
1555
01:09:18,561 --> 01:09:22,361
but with a bit of luck, that won't happen.
1556
01:09:22,561 --> 01:09:25,521
- Is Neil still
wandering alone through Britain?
1557
01:09:25,721 --> 01:09:27,161
Find out next week.
1558
01:10:41,821 --> 01:10:43,821
- I'm going to work in Woolworths.
1559
01:10:44,021 --> 01:10:46,381
- When I grow up, I
want to be an astronaut.
1560
01:10:46,581 --> 01:10:49,221
- When I get married, I'd
like to have two children.
1561
01:10:49,421 --> 01:10:52,541
- My heart's desire is to see my daddy.
1562
01:10:52,741 --> 01:10:56,641
- I don't want to answer that.
1563
01:10:58,181 --> 01:11:00,661
- This is no
ordinary outing to the zoo.
1564
01:11:00,861 --> 01:11:02,661
It's a very special occasion.
1565
01:11:02,861 --> 01:11:04,261
We've brought these children together
1566
01:11:04,461 --> 01:11:07,441
for the very first time.
1567
01:11:07,821 --> 01:11:10,261
They're like any other
children except that they come
1568
01:11:10,461 --> 01:11:13,741
from startlingly different backgrounds.
1569
01:11:13,941 --> 01:11:15,460
- Stop it at once!
1570
01:11:15,461 --> 01:11:16,901
- We've brought these children together
1571
01:11:17,101 --> 01:11:21,941
because we wanted a glimpse
of England in the year 2000.
1572
01:11:22,141 --> 01:11:24,821
The shop steward and the
executive of the year 2000
1573
01:11:25,021 --> 01:11:28,761
are now seven years old.
1574
01:11:31,101 --> 01:11:35,101
- In 1964, "World
in Action" made "Seven Up!"
1575
01:11:35,301 --> 01:11:37,141
and we've been back to film these children
1576
01:11:37,341 --> 01:11:38,421
every seven years.
1577
01:11:41,021 --> 01:11:42,261
They are now 49.
1578
01:11:49,101 --> 01:11:50,901
Last week we watched six of our children
1579
01:11:51,101 --> 01:11:53,221
grow up from seven to 49.
1580
01:11:53,421 --> 01:11:56,021
Tonight, we'll see what
happened to the others.
1581
01:11:56,221 --> 01:12:00,221
- If I can change the world
I'd change it into a diamond.
1582
01:12:00,421 --> 01:12:01,741
I don't really think
that I've done anything
1583
01:12:01,941 --> 01:12:04,381
you can call a great success.
1584
01:12:04,581 --> 01:12:07,381
- When I was born, an illegitimate child,
1585
01:12:07,581 --> 01:12:11,541
that's something that's
only whispered about.
1586
01:12:11,741 --> 01:12:15,461
- If I could, I would have
two girls and two boys.
1587
01:12:15,661 --> 01:12:18,021
At times, you think
Christ, what have I done?
1588
01:12:18,221 --> 01:12:21,061
- I read the "Financial Times".
1589
01:12:21,261 --> 01:12:21,862
- It's very irresponsible
1590
01:12:22,062 --> 01:12:26,221
because we all want more money,
as much money as we can get.
1591
01:12:26,421 --> 01:12:32,141
- Nick, Simon,
Lynn, Andrew, John and Neil.
1592
01:12:32,341 --> 01:12:34,461
- When I grow up, I
want to be an astronaut
1593
01:12:34,661 --> 01:12:36,221
but if I can't be an astronaut,
1594
01:12:36,421 --> 01:12:39,101
I think I'll be a coach driver.
1595
01:12:39,301 --> 01:12:40,541
I tend to think most likely
1596
01:12:40,741 --> 01:12:43,341
the answer is I'll be wandering homeless
1597
01:12:43,541 --> 01:12:45,741
around the streets of London.
1598
01:12:45,941 --> 01:12:47,300
- We'll see if Neil
1599
01:12:47,301 --> 01:12:51,721
is still wandering around
homeless and alone.
1600
01:12:52,261 --> 01:12:55,621
- When I grow up, I'd like to find out
1601
01:12:55,821 --> 01:12:58,901
all about the moon and all that.
1602
01:12:59,101 --> 01:13:00,621
- Nick, a farmer's son,
1603
01:13:00,821 --> 01:13:03,061
grew up in the Yorkshire Dales.
1604
01:13:03,261 --> 01:13:05,141
- And I said I was interested
in physics and chemistry.
1605
01:13:05,341 --> 01:13:07,021
Well, I'm not gonna do that here.
1606
01:13:07,221 --> 01:13:09,261
At 14, he was away at boarding school
1607
01:13:09,461 --> 01:13:12,341
and at 21, reading physics at Oxford.
1608
01:13:12,541 --> 01:13:14,461
- So what career
are you gonna pursue?
1609
01:13:14,661 --> 01:13:16,301
- It depends
whether I'll be good enough
1610
01:13:16,501 --> 01:13:19,581
to do what I wanna really do.
1611
01:13:19,781 --> 01:13:24,761
I would like, if I can, to do research.
1612
01:13:25,541 --> 01:13:27,501
- By 28, he had moved to America
1613
01:13:27,701 --> 01:13:29,781
and was doing research into nuclear fusion
1614
01:13:29,981 --> 01:13:31,941
at the University of Wisconsin.
1615
01:13:32,141 --> 01:13:33,701
- The fusion reaction gives off energy
1616
01:13:33,901 --> 01:13:35,501
and produces the power
1617
01:13:35,701 --> 01:13:39,261
that would be turned
into electrical energy
1618
01:13:39,461 --> 01:13:40,781
and sent out to the consumer.
1619
01:13:40,981 --> 01:13:42,061
- How hot is it in there?
1620
01:13:42,261 --> 01:13:46,101
- In there, it's
about 10 million degrees.
1621
01:13:46,301 --> 01:13:48,461
- At 35, he was
an associate professor,
1622
01:13:48,661 --> 01:13:52,761
And at 42, a full professor.
1623
01:13:53,541 --> 01:13:55,341
- And I've spent the last year and a half
1624
01:13:55,541 --> 01:13:57,421
writing a couple of books.
1625
01:13:57,621 --> 01:13:59,301
My ambition as a scientist
is to be more famous
1626
01:13:59,501 --> 01:14:01,541
for doing science than
for being in this film,
1627
01:14:01,741 --> 01:14:05,421
but unfortunately, Michael,
it's not gonna happen.
1628
01:14:05,621 --> 01:14:08,421
- Over the years,
Nick's research hit trouble,
1629
01:14:08,621 --> 01:14:11,061
and by 49, he's had to abandon it,
1630
01:14:11,261 --> 01:14:13,661
because the containers
needed to store the hot gases
1631
01:14:13,861 --> 01:14:15,421
couldn't be developed.
1632
01:14:15,621 --> 01:14:16,501
- Was there a moment
1633
01:14:16,502 --> 01:14:18,821
when you realised that
all you'd been doing
1634
01:14:19,021 --> 01:14:21,501
wasn't gonna work out?
1635
01:14:21,701 --> 01:14:24,421
- I think it was more gradual.
1636
01:14:24,621 --> 01:14:27,221
I didn't wanna admit it for quite a while.
1637
01:14:27,421 --> 01:14:29,301
I mean, I really believed in it.
1638
01:14:29,501 --> 01:14:33,181
It was a huge let-down.
1639
01:14:33,381 --> 01:14:38,061
So the area that I'm looking
at is this times this.
1640
01:14:38,261 --> 01:14:41,461
I don't know why I've a
compulsion to teach, really.
1641
01:14:41,661 --> 01:14:42,701
It was always there in me.
1642
01:14:42,901 --> 01:14:43,781
I just wanted to do it.
1643
01:14:43,981 --> 01:14:45,821
I thought I'd be good at it.
1644
01:14:46,021 --> 01:14:48,141
When I go into a classroom
full of undergraduates,
1645
01:14:48,341 --> 01:14:49,621
I try and explain to them
1646
01:14:49,821 --> 01:14:51,301
why they might wanna try and do it.
1647
01:14:51,501 --> 01:14:54,141
That's my little attempt to
open a little door for them.
1648
01:14:54,341 --> 01:14:57,101
So I'm hoping that you
remember me being very stupid
1649
01:14:57,301 --> 01:14:59,621
and going, ow, there's
arrows coming out of here.
1650
01:14:59,821 --> 01:15:00,821
Can we do that?
1651
01:15:00,822 --> 01:15:01,901
Any chance of that, okay?
1652
01:15:02,101 --> 01:15:04,101
They can get information from a book.
1653
01:15:04,301 --> 01:15:05,261
I have to keep them awake
1654
01:15:05,461 --> 01:15:08,021
and make the information a bit
more interesting than a book.
1655
01:15:08,221 --> 01:15:12,241
I'm doomed to do this
over and over and over.
1656
01:15:12,461 --> 01:15:14,061
Okay, well, I didn't even
know it was happening,
1657
01:15:14,261 --> 01:15:15,101
so it was interesting
'cause that, you know.
1658
01:15:15,301 --> 01:15:19,681
And nobody's ever said that
I was a typical engineer.
1659
01:15:20,261 --> 01:15:23,221
The undergraduates tell
jokes about engineers,
1660
01:15:23,421 --> 01:15:24,781
and the only one I can repeat to you
1661
01:15:24,981 --> 01:15:28,341
is how you can tell if an
engineer is an extrovert?
1662
01:15:28,541 --> 01:15:30,141
And the answer is he looks at your shoes
1663
01:15:30,341 --> 01:15:31,381
when he's talking to you.
1664
01:15:31,581 --> 01:15:34,501
Even though he's clearly
a megastar, it's like.
1665
01:15:34,701 --> 01:15:36,541
Somebody came up with a theory recently
1666
01:15:36,741 --> 01:15:38,821
that a lot of scientists
and mathematicians
1667
01:15:39,021 --> 01:15:41,661
are just borderline autistic.
1668
01:15:41,861 --> 01:15:45,021
I could easily be borderline
autistic, you know.
1669
01:15:45,221 --> 01:15:47,061
I don't quite get how other people
1670
01:15:47,261 --> 01:15:49,861
feel about things sometimes, you know.
1671
01:15:50,061 --> 01:15:52,881
- Do you have a girlfriend?
1672
01:15:54,341 --> 01:15:56,861
- I don't wan to answer that.
1673
01:15:57,061 --> 01:16:02,221
I don't answer those kind of questions.
1674
01:16:02,421 --> 01:16:06,141
I thought that one would
come up because when I was,
1675
01:16:06,341 --> 01:16:07,541
when I was doing the other one,
1676
01:16:07,741 --> 01:16:09,541
and somebody said, "What
do you think about girls?"
1677
01:16:09,741 --> 01:16:10,861
And I said, "I don't answer
questions like that."
1678
01:16:11,061 --> 01:16:13,581
Is that the reason you're asking it?
1679
01:16:13,781 --> 01:16:14,781
I thought so.
1680
01:16:18,541 --> 01:16:19,701
The best answer would be to say
1681
01:16:19,901 --> 01:16:21,581
that I don't answer questions like that
1682
01:16:21,781 --> 01:16:24,821
but, I mean, it was what
I said when I was seven,
1683
01:16:25,021 --> 01:16:27,541
and it's still the most sensible.
1684
01:16:27,741 --> 01:16:29,100
What about them?
1685
01:16:29,101 --> 01:16:31,621
- Nick was only 17 when I first met him.
1686
01:16:31,821 --> 01:16:33,341
I mean, if he'd been somebody
1687
01:16:33,541 --> 01:16:37,821
who had had fixed ideas of
a woman's role in marriage
1688
01:16:38,021 --> 01:16:41,821
that meant dinner on the
table at six every evening.
1689
01:16:42,021 --> 01:16:45,101
- Ah, didn't I tell you about that?
1690
01:16:45,301 --> 01:16:48,021
- His wife Jackie
also taught at the university
1691
01:16:48,221 --> 01:16:50,381
and they had a son Adam.
1692
01:16:50,581 --> 01:16:53,821
Six years ago, they divorced.
1693
01:16:54,021 --> 01:16:57,841
- Well, it was incredibly hard.
1694
01:16:58,541 --> 01:17:01,341
What I concluded, and I
have talked to other people
1695
01:17:01,541 --> 01:17:03,181
about this who've gone through it,
1696
01:17:03,381 --> 01:17:05,061
I'm not sure if they feel
it as strongly as I did,
1697
01:17:05,261 --> 01:17:07,141
but it was like a death.
1698
01:17:07,341 --> 01:17:08,621
- Anything could happen.
1699
01:17:08,821 --> 01:17:09,821
We could easily drift apart.
1700
01:17:10,021 --> 01:17:11,901
There are so many pressures on people.
1701
01:17:12,101 --> 01:17:15,101
- If your spouse died, you
could look back and think,
1702
01:17:15,301 --> 01:17:17,301
well, it was wonderful while it lasted.
1703
01:17:17,501 --> 01:17:22,621
But in a divorce, you
can't look back and say,
1704
01:17:22,821 --> 01:17:25,621
these are all happy memories.
1705
01:17:25,821 --> 01:17:28,221
It wasn't my decision.
1706
01:17:28,421 --> 01:17:30,620
She went to England.
1707
01:17:30,621 --> 01:17:31,621
Her father was ill.
1708
01:17:32,661 --> 01:17:33,981
By the time she'd landed, he had died,
1709
01:17:34,181 --> 01:17:36,581
and when she came back,
1710
01:17:36,781 --> 01:17:40,321
it was like a different person came back.
1711
01:17:40,621 --> 01:17:42,780
Was I responsible?
1712
01:17:42,781 --> 01:17:44,581
I could have been braver about some things
1713
01:17:44,781 --> 01:17:48,221
but if I'd been braver, it
might have ended sooner.
1714
01:17:48,421 --> 01:17:50,141
You can talk to me by myself outside,
1715
01:17:50,341 --> 01:17:53,381
but I'll just meet you
by the garage, okay?
1716
01:17:53,581 --> 01:17:55,340
All right, bye.
1717
01:17:55,341 --> 01:17:56,621
It's enormously hard to deal with.
1718
01:17:56,821 --> 01:18:02,421
The worst part of it was seeing
how it would affect my son.
1719
01:18:02,621 --> 01:18:03,980
- How old was he?
1720
01:18:03,981 --> 01:18:04,981
- 10.
1721
01:18:06,181 --> 01:18:12,301
When he was first told, he
was terribly, terribly upset,
1722
01:18:12,501 --> 01:18:15,941
and then he just pulled himself together
1723
01:18:16,141 --> 01:18:20,221
and didn't wanna talk about it anymore.
1724
01:18:20,421 --> 01:18:21,381
He's made the most of it.
1725
01:18:21,581 --> 01:18:22,342
I mean, the best of it.
1726
01:18:22,542 --> 01:18:26,101
Made the best that he can of it, I guess.
1727
01:18:26,301 --> 01:18:27,181
Take it easy, Adam.
1728
01:18:27,182 --> 01:18:28,901
Main thing is not to crash.
1729
01:18:29,101 --> 01:18:29,941
- Really?
1730
01:18:29,942 --> 01:18:31,541
You don't want me to crash right now?
1731
01:18:31,741 --> 01:18:33,301
- How does he deal with it now?
1732
01:18:33,501 --> 01:18:37,501
- He doesn't talk to me
about it very much at all.
1733
01:18:37,701 --> 01:18:39,901
He's a private person.
1734
01:18:40,101 --> 01:18:43,141
It's very, very hard for me
1735
01:18:43,341 --> 01:18:49,841
to be spending a large part of
my time with him not around.
1736
01:18:52,301 --> 01:18:53,340
Hi, Graham.
1737
01:18:53,341 --> 01:18:54,141
- What you doing?
1738
01:18:54,142 --> 01:18:56,141
- What you doing?
1739
01:18:57,381 --> 01:18:58,981
I had to go to a graduation.
1740
01:18:59,181 --> 01:19:00,981
One of my students was getting his PhD
1741
01:19:01,181 --> 01:19:03,661
and he insisted I go there with him,
1742
01:19:03,861 --> 01:19:08,061
and I looked around, and the
person behind me was Chris.
1743
01:19:08,261 --> 01:19:09,261
- Hey, Graham.
1744
01:19:11,541 --> 01:19:14,261
- Who is my new wife.
1745
01:19:14,461 --> 01:19:15,580
Are you okay?
1746
01:19:15,581 --> 01:19:17,341
- Did you fall in love quickly?
1747
01:19:17,541 --> 01:19:18,541
- Immediately.
1748
01:19:20,181 --> 01:19:22,181
- Except that you decided
that if I couldn't find you,
1749
01:19:22,381 --> 01:19:25,301
I'd failed the test.
- I decided it was his work
1750
01:19:25,501 --> 01:19:26,541
to find me.
1751
01:19:29,021 --> 01:19:31,061
We did shake hands at
the end of graduation,
1752
01:19:31,261 --> 01:19:33,661
stood up and said who we were,
but he immediately forgot.
1753
01:19:33,861 --> 01:19:35,901
He couldn't remember who I was.
1754
01:19:36,101 --> 01:19:37,701
- Okay, I know who she is,
1755
01:19:37,901 --> 01:19:39,341
so I don't have to worry
about this anymore.
1756
01:19:39,541 --> 01:19:40,541
So I forgot.
1757
01:19:41,621 --> 01:19:44,421
I do, that's very me.
1758
01:19:44,621 --> 01:19:47,381
She came down to the
student union to meet me
1759
01:19:47,581 --> 01:19:51,461
and I barely knew what she looked like.
1760
01:19:51,661 --> 01:19:53,581
I looked at her, I guess that's her
1761
01:19:53,781 --> 01:19:56,621
and I sort of looked and did
this, and she did the same.
1762
01:19:56,821 --> 01:19:58,741
She did a mirror image of that gesture,
1763
01:19:58,941 --> 01:20:01,741
and I thought, I can't
explain what that was
1764
01:20:01,941 --> 01:20:03,380
but I just felt
1765
01:20:03,381 --> 01:20:07,301
very strongly drawn to her
by that little gesture.
1766
01:20:07,501 --> 01:20:10,301
- And there was no way I would say no
1767
01:20:10,501 --> 01:20:12,421
to being married to this man.
1768
01:20:12,621 --> 01:20:16,141
I wanted to be with him.
1769
01:20:16,341 --> 01:20:17,301
Has he changed my life?
1770
01:20:17,501 --> 01:20:19,020
Dramatically.
1771
01:20:19,021 --> 01:20:21,181
Have I changed as a person?
1772
01:20:21,381 --> 01:20:22,500
I hope so.
1773
01:20:22,501 --> 01:20:24,541
- You'll give them a push?
1774
01:20:24,741 --> 01:20:25,701
- I don't mean to be superficial,
1775
01:20:25,901 --> 01:20:29,901
but I think she's the most
beautiful woman I've ever seen.
1776
01:20:30,101 --> 01:20:31,700
- Is he sexy?
1777
01:20:31,701 --> 01:20:34,141
- Oh, man.
1778
01:20:35,101 --> 01:20:36,341
Absolutely.
1779
01:20:39,701 --> 01:20:42,741
Didn't you have fun with that one?
1780
01:20:42,941 --> 01:20:44,221
- Graham was very good about the ducks.
1781
01:20:44,421 --> 01:20:45,261
The ducks were...
1782
01:20:45,262 --> 01:20:46,621
- I only have one child, Courtney,
1783
01:20:46,821 --> 01:20:48,421
and he only has one child.
1784
01:20:48,621 --> 01:20:52,681
There's a symmetry with that.
1785
01:20:53,341 --> 01:20:55,941
- Would you ever have
wanted a child of your own,
1786
01:20:56,141 --> 01:20:57,381
the two of you?
1787
01:20:58,741 --> 01:21:01,020
- Well, absolutely,
1788
01:21:01,021 --> 01:21:04,701
but it's not exactly
practical, so we're just...
1789
01:21:04,901 --> 01:21:05,901
- No.
1790
01:21:06,941 --> 01:21:10,741
Of course, Graham has added
an element that's just joy.
1791
01:21:10,941 --> 01:21:12,821
And I know Nick likes little guys.
1792
01:21:13,021 --> 01:21:16,421
He just likes little kids.
1793
01:21:16,621 --> 01:21:19,981
- They'd like to come out
for a holiday in the country
1794
01:21:20,181 --> 01:21:23,821
when we like, when I like to
have a holiday in the town.
1795
01:21:24,021 --> 01:21:26,501
It is very difficult being in a place
1796
01:21:26,701 --> 01:21:30,381
where you're a long way away
from all your background,
1797
01:21:30,581 --> 01:21:32,701
and you don't have any
sort of support network.
1798
01:21:32,901 --> 01:21:34,381
- I could try that.
- It's frightening.
1799
01:21:34,581 --> 01:21:36,020
It's frightening.
1800
01:21:36,021 --> 01:21:37,421
- My parents are alive.
1801
01:21:37,621 --> 01:21:40,981
They both had very
significant health issues.
1802
01:21:41,181 --> 01:21:45,341
My father keeps pointing out
that old age isn't for sissies.
1803
01:21:45,541 --> 01:21:48,281
- You need a secretary.
1804
01:21:49,101 --> 01:21:51,821
- Nick has two younger
brothers back in England,
1805
01:21:52,021 --> 01:21:55,001
Andrew and Christopher.
1806
01:21:56,261 --> 01:21:58,061
- Christopher, the
deaf one, got divorced,
1807
01:21:58,261 --> 01:22:00,261
and he reported to my mother
that if Nicky can do it,
1808
01:22:00,461 --> 01:22:04,721
then so can I, so that changed.
1809
01:22:05,741 --> 01:22:07,341
- Are you missing England?
1810
01:22:07,541 --> 01:22:09,941
- I always miss England.
1811
01:22:10,141 --> 01:22:12,901
I was really not the sort of person
1812
01:22:13,101 --> 01:22:16,361
who should ever have moved very far.
1813
01:22:16,741 --> 01:22:18,140
- When he was 42,
1814
01:22:18,141 --> 01:22:21,181
we took Nick back to where
he had grown up in the Dales.
1815
01:22:21,381 --> 01:22:22,581
What did you learn here, do you think,
1816
01:22:22,781 --> 01:22:24,101
that you carried with you?
1817
01:22:24,301 --> 01:22:26,301
- I sort of feel as if you could look deep
1818
01:22:26,501 --> 01:22:27,620
somewhere inside me,
1819
01:22:27,621 --> 01:22:31,141
I feel like there's some
of this in there somewhere.
1820
01:22:31,341 --> 01:22:36,221
I think of it as being magnificent
but rather grim, really.
1821
01:22:36,421 --> 01:22:39,781
It's very uncompromising, and
sometimes it's rather tragic,
1822
01:22:39,981 --> 01:22:43,661
but it makes other places you go
1823
01:22:43,861 --> 01:22:46,381
seem rather trivial as well.
1824
01:22:46,581 --> 01:22:50,601
- We call it one of our Dales rooms.
1825
01:22:51,381 --> 01:22:54,061
We have things that reflect
the Dales in the room,
1826
01:22:54,261 --> 01:22:55,821
we have cards that we framed,
1827
01:22:56,021 --> 01:22:59,421
and some of the china from Nick's family
1828
01:22:59,621 --> 01:23:03,521
is displayed up here.
1829
01:23:06,981 --> 01:23:10,141
- Well, we're driving from
Madison to Minneapolis
1830
01:23:10,341 --> 01:23:13,381
'cause Chris lives in Minneapolis
and I live in Madison,
1831
01:23:13,581 --> 01:23:17,961
so we go up and down alternate weekends.
1832
01:23:19,101 --> 01:23:20,461
- Does it put a
stress on the relationship,
1833
01:23:20,661 --> 01:23:24,541
these separations and reuniting?
1834
01:23:24,741 --> 01:23:30,821
- I would say absence makes
the heart grow fonder, really.
1835
01:23:31,021 --> 01:23:32,421
- Chris lives in Minneapolis,
1836
01:23:32,621 --> 01:23:34,541
a five-hour drive from Madison,
1837
01:23:34,741 --> 01:23:36,061
where she is an associate professor
1838
01:23:36,261 --> 01:23:39,441
in the department of education.
1839
01:23:39,701 --> 01:23:42,341
- Hey, you wanna see something?
1840
01:23:42,541 --> 01:23:44,581
- Work is a big part
of both your lives, isn't it?
1841
01:23:44,781 --> 01:23:45,860
- It is.
1842
01:23:45,861 --> 01:23:48,261
- Yeah, so we're both kind of workaholics.
1843
01:23:48,461 --> 01:23:49,981
There's a bit of a comma over there...
1844
01:23:50,181 --> 01:23:54,501
- Is there anything
that you would like to change?
1845
01:23:54,701 --> 01:23:55,342
- It's all right.
- Oh, that would be
1846
01:23:55,542 --> 01:23:57,261
really risky business, wouldn't it?
1847
01:23:57,461 --> 01:24:01,801
- Well, I thought you had
changed a few of them, no?
1848
01:24:03,421 --> 01:24:08,181
- You know, you don't
mess with Mother Nature
1849
01:24:08,381 --> 01:24:09,341
in terms of little things,
1850
01:24:09,541 --> 01:24:11,461
like how somebody does their toothpaste,
1851
01:24:11,661 --> 01:24:13,661
those silly nonsense things.
1852
01:24:13,861 --> 01:24:18,581
He would not just say yes, he
immediately attended to it.
1853
01:24:18,781 --> 01:24:20,461
I had never been with anybody who did,
1854
01:24:20,661 --> 01:24:21,661
so you have to be really careful
1855
01:24:21,861 --> 01:24:23,301
with what you ask him to do.
1856
01:24:23,501 --> 01:24:26,381
Oh, go easy on the
butter, please, all right?
1857
01:24:26,581 --> 01:24:27,461
- Okay.
1858
01:24:27,462 --> 01:24:30,381
- I mean, I could see it
being a slippery slope.
1859
01:24:30,581 --> 01:24:34,781
I didn't wanna go that way in terms of my
1860
01:24:34,981 --> 01:24:35,781
ordering his life.
- She didn't want to make
1861
01:24:35,981 --> 01:24:36,981
to many demands.
1862
01:24:36,982 --> 01:24:39,981
- I didn't want him to
be a different person.
1863
01:24:40,181 --> 01:24:41,741
- If I can change the world,
1864
01:24:41,941 --> 01:24:43,981
I'd change it into a diamond.
1865
01:24:44,181 --> 01:24:46,941
I think this film is extremely important.
1866
01:24:47,141 --> 01:24:49,421
It's important to me but
it seems to be important
1867
01:24:49,621 --> 01:24:51,141
to other people as well.
1868
01:24:51,341 --> 01:24:54,061
That doesn't make it an easy thing.
1869
01:24:54,261 --> 01:24:56,781
It's an incredibly hard thing to be in,
1870
01:24:56,981 --> 01:24:58,941
and I can't even begin to describe
1871
01:24:59,141 --> 01:25:02,901
how emotionally draining
and wrenching it is
1872
01:25:03,101 --> 01:25:06,141
just to make the film
and to do the interviews,
1873
01:25:06,341 --> 01:25:08,581
and that's even when I am pretending
1874
01:25:08,781 --> 01:25:12,861
that nobody else is watching it.
1875
01:25:13,061 --> 01:25:18,621
- I think it's a heavy reminder
that he's missing his roots.
1876
01:25:18,821 --> 01:25:21,501
I mean, there are an awful
lot of emotions attached
1877
01:25:21,701 --> 01:25:26,321
to having a scrapbook
that's as vivid as this.
1878
01:25:37,741 --> 01:25:40,901
- I'm going to work in Woolworth's.
1879
01:25:41,101 --> 01:25:43,741
- Lynn is the
third of our East End girls.
1880
01:25:43,941 --> 01:25:46,381
She went to primary school
with Jackie and Sue,
1881
01:25:46,581 --> 01:25:48,741
but chose to go on to a grammar school.
1882
01:25:48,941 --> 01:25:51,421
At 21, she set out on a career
1883
01:25:51,621 --> 01:25:53,181
as a children's librarian
1884
01:25:53,381 --> 01:25:55,941
in a mobile library in East London.
1885
01:25:56,141 --> 01:25:57,021
- Have I stamped yours?
1886
01:25:57,221 --> 01:25:58,260
- Yes.
- Yes.
1887
01:25:58,261 --> 01:25:59,581
I've not stamped yours.
1888
01:25:59,781 --> 01:26:00,781
"Sleeping Beauty".
1889
01:26:01,781 --> 01:26:05,501
Teaching children the beauty of books
1890
01:26:05,701 --> 01:26:07,821
and watching their faces
1891
01:26:08,021 --> 01:26:11,541
as books unfold to them is just fantastic.
1892
01:26:11,741 --> 01:26:13,941
To work with children of that
age, you've got to love them,
1893
01:26:14,141 --> 01:26:15,181
and I love children.
1894
01:26:17,621 --> 01:26:19,581
- Because of cuts
in the education budget,
1895
01:26:19,781 --> 01:26:22,421
the mobile library was shut down.
1896
01:26:22,621 --> 01:26:26,781
At 42, Lynn was working
at Bethnal Green Library.
1897
01:26:26,981 --> 01:26:30,981
- You can draw better than I can.
1898
01:26:31,181 --> 01:26:32,021
Good morning.
1899
01:26:32,022 --> 01:26:33,901
- At 49, she's still there.
1900
01:26:34,101 --> 01:26:35,340
- Good morning.
1901
01:26:35,341 --> 01:26:36,380
- What about you?
1902
01:26:36,381 --> 01:26:37,740
- Good morning.
1903
01:26:37,741 --> 01:26:38,941
- Are you gonna say hello?
1904
01:26:39,141 --> 01:26:40,860
- Good morning.
1905
01:26:40,861 --> 01:26:41,701
How are you?
1906
01:26:41,702 --> 01:26:43,661
- How much of your
work is with people like this?
1907
01:26:43,861 --> 01:26:45,540
- Probably 5%.
1908
01:26:45,541 --> 01:26:48,701
It's a very, very small part of it
1909
01:26:48,901 --> 01:26:52,421
but probably, currently, the
most challenging part of it.
1910
01:26:52,621 --> 01:26:53,581
- Elephant.
1911
01:26:53,582 --> 01:26:54,740
- He's an elephant.
1912
01:26:54,741 --> 01:26:57,881
Where's the elephant?
1913
01:26:58,261 --> 01:27:01,221
We still get six other schools
1914
01:27:01,421 --> 01:27:03,621
regularly send classes in here.
1915
01:27:03,821 --> 01:27:05,900
It's busy most days.
1916
01:27:05,901 --> 01:27:09,781
- Well, I know he loves
her, and he loves her.
1917
01:27:09,981 --> 01:27:12,381
- I don't, I love him.
1918
01:27:12,581 --> 01:27:17,141
- I've been married a year
in a couple of months.
1919
01:27:17,341 --> 01:27:21,081
You do think, Christ, what have I done?
1920
01:27:22,341 --> 01:27:25,661
- When she was
19, she married Russ.
1921
01:27:25,861 --> 01:27:27,740
- We married young,
1922
01:27:27,741 --> 01:27:33,241
but because we wanted to go
out and have fun together.
1923
01:27:34,141 --> 01:27:35,941
30 years, and we're still together.
1924
01:27:36,141 --> 01:27:39,181
He's my soul mate, he's my partner.
1925
01:27:39,381 --> 01:27:41,741
We respect each other,
1926
01:27:41,941 --> 01:27:45,621
hence he's not here, and you
will not see him on this film,
1927
01:27:45,821 --> 01:27:48,501
because he has always, always felt
1928
01:27:48,701 --> 01:27:52,381
that the intrusion into our private life
1929
01:27:52,581 --> 01:27:55,541
that this causes is too much.
1930
01:27:55,741 --> 01:27:59,621
I wanted white wedding, all trimmings,
1931
01:27:59,821 --> 01:28:05,581
and Russ would've been
satisfied with very little.
1932
01:28:05,781 --> 01:28:07,141
- Are you in love?
1933
01:28:08,781 --> 01:28:10,581
- Very, very much.
1934
01:28:13,261 --> 01:28:14,541
He knows how much I love him,
1935
01:28:14,741 --> 01:28:18,141
and in my heart of hearts,
I know how much he loves me.
1936
01:28:18,341 --> 01:28:21,341
I put him on the spot sometimes.
1937
01:28:21,541 --> 01:28:25,101
If I could, I would have
two girls and two boys.
1938
01:28:25,301 --> 01:28:26,701
- Yeah, so would I.
1939
01:28:29,341 --> 01:28:31,501
- Lynn and
Russ have two daughters,
1940
01:28:31,701 --> 01:28:33,141
Sarah and Emma.
1941
01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:42,301
- Emma's installation
coordinator for a window company.
1942
01:28:42,501 --> 01:28:45,301
Sarah is an accessories buyer.
1943
01:28:45,501 --> 01:28:48,481
It's a family-run business.
1944
01:28:50,221 --> 01:28:51,740
- At 42, the girls
1945
01:28:51,741 --> 01:28:53,901
were both doing very well at school.
1946
01:28:54,101 --> 01:28:54,901
- All right, honey?
1947
01:28:54,901 --> 01:28:55,741
- Yeah.
1948
01:28:55,742 --> 01:28:56,901
- Neither of the
girls went to university?
1949
01:28:57,101 --> 01:28:58,101
- No, no.
1950
01:28:58,861 --> 01:29:00,421
- Was that disappointing to you?
1951
01:29:00,621 --> 01:29:03,421
- No, their choice, we discussed it.
1952
01:29:03,621 --> 01:29:05,101
It's what they wanted to do.
1953
01:29:05,301 --> 01:29:10,161
They felt that the academic
side wasn't for them.
1954
01:29:10,581 --> 01:29:14,021
You have to accept that it's their lives,
1955
01:29:14,221 --> 01:29:17,981
and you can only guide
and be there for them.
1956
01:29:18,181 --> 01:29:19,820
- Aw, you boy.
1957
01:29:19,821 --> 01:29:20,941
- Where's your drink?
1958
01:29:21,141 --> 01:29:23,061
- So you got a grandson?
1959
01:29:23,261 --> 01:29:26,661
- He's a lovely lad, he really is.
1960
01:29:26,861 --> 01:29:28,581
I'm watching him in the same way.
1961
01:29:28,781 --> 01:29:32,781
I mean, from 21 years
ago, when I held Sarah up
1962
01:29:32,981 --> 01:29:36,501
When she was just born, and
now, I am watching Emma now,
1963
01:29:36,701 --> 01:29:39,061
and what goes round, comes round
1964
01:29:39,261 --> 01:29:41,901
because Emma now says that
she says things to Connor
1965
01:29:42,101 --> 01:29:45,101
that she can hear me saying to her.
1966
01:29:45,301 --> 01:29:46,141
- Rabbits.
1967
01:29:46,142 --> 01:29:47,861
- Yeah, you have to look
out for their holes.
1968
01:29:48,061 --> 01:29:49,501
That still catches me out sometimes
1969
01:29:49,701 --> 01:29:50,741
when suddenly I say something
1970
01:29:50,941 --> 01:29:53,901
that was purely and utterly me mum.
1971
01:29:54,101 --> 01:29:54,941
Sorry.
1972
01:29:54,942 --> 01:29:58,781
- So was the arrival
of Connor a shock to you?
1973
01:29:58,981 --> 01:30:02,181
- No, well, yeah, but, no.
1974
01:30:02,381 --> 01:30:06,781
I mean, as soon as Emma
was expecting Connor,
1975
01:30:06,981 --> 01:30:10,221
got the phone call,
"Mum, need to meet you."
1976
01:30:10,421 --> 01:30:14,581
So she actually told me face
to face that she was expecting.
1977
01:30:14,781 --> 01:30:15,781
Fine.
1978
01:30:17,141 --> 01:30:18,141
She was 19.
1979
01:30:19,541 --> 01:30:20,541
She's old enough.
1980
01:30:21,941 --> 01:30:23,061
Probably watching you.
1981
01:30:23,261 --> 01:30:24,181
- You'll go to bed as well.
1982
01:30:24,381 --> 01:30:25,900
- When she was 34,
1983
01:30:25,901 --> 01:30:27,781
Lynn was having health problems.
1984
01:30:27,981 --> 01:30:30,581
- Stuck all these tubes up inside me
1985
01:30:30,781 --> 01:30:33,661
and discovered that I've got these veins
1986
01:30:33,861 --> 01:30:35,701
up here that shouldn't be there.
1987
01:30:35,901 --> 01:30:37,020
- In your brain?
1988
01:30:37,021 --> 01:30:38,021
- Mm-hmm.
1989
01:30:39,221 --> 01:30:40,781
- And what can they do about it?
1990
01:30:40,981 --> 01:30:42,781
- Not a lot at the moment.
1991
01:30:42,981 --> 01:30:43,981
No change.
1992
01:30:44,901 --> 01:30:49,061
It's not going away, but
it's no more problems.
1993
01:30:49,261 --> 01:30:50,261
Nothing.
1994
01:30:51,021 --> 01:30:56,481
I mean, you have the aches
and pains of getting older.
1995
01:30:57,941 --> 01:31:01,221
I've got bilateral carpal tunnel
syndrome in both my wrists.
1996
01:31:01,421 --> 01:31:04,561
Guess who had it, my mother.
1997
01:31:04,861 --> 01:31:09,781
And that comes and goes,
hence, magnetic bracelets,
1998
01:31:09,981 --> 01:31:15,501
which help, but you have to overcome it.
1999
01:31:15,701 --> 01:31:16,661
What's white?
2000
01:31:16,661 --> 01:31:17,501
- Red.
2001
01:31:17,502 --> 01:31:18,341
- Yeah, we know that's red.
- Yeah, that's red.
2002
01:31:18,541 --> 01:31:22,421
- For the last 30 years, bang
my head against a brick wall
2003
01:31:22,621 --> 01:31:24,661
to maintain children's services,
2004
01:31:24,861 --> 01:31:27,741
but this time round, no one's listening.
2005
01:31:27,941 --> 01:31:30,301
We've just done purple.
2006
01:31:30,501 --> 01:31:35,101
They say that the work that
I do that anybody can do it.
2007
01:31:35,301 --> 01:31:36,301
- Blue.
2008
01:31:37,701 --> 01:31:40,981
- There would be no specialist running it.
2009
01:31:41,181 --> 01:31:42,181
One.
2010
01:31:42,861 --> 01:31:45,801
I may not have a job.
2011
01:31:46,221 --> 01:31:47,141
- Hern loves Tintin.
2012
01:31:47,142 --> 01:31:49,821
- Hern absolutely adores Tintin.
2013
01:31:50,021 --> 01:31:51,260
Yeah.
2014
01:31:51,261 --> 01:31:52,261
It's cost cutting.
2015
01:31:54,341 --> 01:31:55,021
- So that's what it's about?
2016
01:31:55,221 --> 01:31:56,221
- Yeah.
2017
01:31:57,821 --> 01:31:59,861
They would deny that.
2018
01:32:00,061 --> 01:32:02,661
Can you speak to me today?
2019
01:32:02,861 --> 01:32:03,861
- No.
- No?
2020
01:32:04,781 --> 01:32:05,781
I see.
2021
01:32:07,061 --> 01:32:08,421
- Is it
emotionally very demanding
2022
01:32:08,621 --> 01:32:10,461
working like this with people like this?
2023
01:32:10,661 --> 01:32:15,901
- Yeah, but it's so fulfilling
2024
01:32:16,101 --> 01:32:19,460
that, beyond belief.
2025
01:32:19,461 --> 01:32:21,661
Azir, can you say it for me?
2026
01:32:21,861 --> 01:32:23,540
I know you can.
2027
01:32:23,541 --> 01:32:26,820
But are you get, no!
2028
01:32:26,821 --> 01:32:29,981
No, you're not gonna do it today.
2029
01:32:30,181 --> 01:32:32,941
Azir spoke to me on the
phone a couple of years ago.
2030
01:32:33,141 --> 01:32:37,021
First time he'd ever spoken
to me, and really got me.
2031
01:32:37,221 --> 01:32:39,821
It's extremely difficult for him to speak,
2032
01:32:40,021 --> 01:32:42,741
and when he does, you know
he's making so much effort,
2033
01:32:42,941 --> 01:32:43,941
and it gets me.
2034
01:32:45,661 --> 01:32:46,501
- Hello.
2035
01:32:46,501 --> 01:32:47,341
- Hello.
2036
01:32:47,342 --> 01:32:48,661
- Excellent.
2037
01:32:50,301 --> 01:32:54,041
Thank you, Azir, thank you.
2038
01:32:55,221 --> 01:32:55,822
- You've come a long way
2039
01:32:56,022 --> 01:32:57,021
since the back of the van.
2040
01:32:57,221 --> 01:33:01,821
- No, no, I was on the
back of a bus yesterday.
2041
01:33:02,021 --> 01:33:05,061
We took a mobile vehicle out to a school
2042
01:33:05,261 --> 01:33:07,341
who was having a book week
just round the corner,
2043
01:33:07,541 --> 01:33:13,061
and I had forgotten how much it sways.
2044
01:33:13,261 --> 01:33:14,500
Where's your stamp?
2045
01:33:14,501 --> 01:33:16,061
- Been a hell of a
commitment for you, hasn't it?
2046
01:33:16,261 --> 01:33:17,261
- Yeah, but.
2047
01:33:22,461 --> 01:33:23,781
But it will end.
2048
01:33:25,101 --> 01:33:27,301
- But has it been worth it all?
2049
01:33:27,501 --> 01:33:28,581
- Yeah, very much.
2050
01:33:32,741 --> 01:33:33,542
Come on, speed it up.
2051
01:33:33,742 --> 01:33:36,701
All these things that I
have said over the years
2052
01:33:36,901 --> 01:33:39,301
are flying through my mind at the moment
2053
01:33:39,501 --> 01:33:43,121
but, yes, it has been worth it.
2054
01:33:45,541 --> 01:33:50,721
And you better cut it 'cause
otherwise, I'm gonna cry.
2055
01:34:07,221 --> 01:34:09,701
- What do you
think about rich people?
2056
01:34:09,901 --> 01:34:11,301
- Well, not much.
2057
01:34:14,021 --> 01:34:14,981
- Tell me about them.
2058
01:34:15,181 --> 01:34:16,581
- Well, they think they can do everything
2059
01:34:16,781 --> 01:34:20,361
without you doing it as well.
2060
01:34:21,141 --> 01:34:23,501
- Simon was brought
up in a children's home,
2061
01:34:23,701 --> 01:34:26,301
the only child of a single parent.
2062
01:34:26,501 --> 01:34:29,101
- Rich people, they have
all different things.
2063
01:34:29,301 --> 01:34:30,261
Have everything they want.
2064
01:34:30,461 --> 01:34:32,221
Whereas poor people,
they don't have nothing,
2065
01:34:32,421 --> 01:34:36,101
and they know they haven't got nothing,
2066
01:34:36,301 --> 01:34:39,881
and so they know they're
missing something.
2067
01:34:40,301 --> 01:34:43,341
- What are you missing?
2068
01:34:43,541 --> 01:34:48,821
- I'm missing a bike
and a fishing rod and.
2069
01:34:49,021 --> 01:34:50,181
20 years ago,
2070
01:34:52,341 --> 01:34:55,301
when I was born, an illegitimate child,
2071
01:34:55,501 --> 01:34:59,421
that's something that's
only whispered about.
2072
01:34:59,621 --> 01:35:03,141
People feel strongly
about it in those days,
2073
01:35:03,341 --> 01:35:05,341
but nowadays, it's
2074
01:35:07,701 --> 01:35:09,021
it's not a serious matter.
2075
01:35:09,221 --> 01:35:11,341
The serious point is whether
you stay with somebody
2076
01:35:11,541 --> 01:35:13,260
or you leave them.
2077
01:35:13,261 --> 01:35:14,261
Since 21,
2078
01:35:16,381 --> 01:35:20,681
I've got married, had a couple of kids.
2079
01:35:22,341 --> 01:35:24,501
- By 28, he had married Yvonne,
2080
01:35:24,701 --> 01:35:26,181
and they had five children.
2081
01:35:26,381 --> 01:35:27,541
- Well, I don't
think there's anybody else
2082
01:35:27,741 --> 01:35:30,141
I could have ever married except Yvonne.
2083
01:35:30,341 --> 01:35:32,861
She's been my life, really,
because we're together,
2084
01:35:33,061 --> 01:35:36,341
we have our children and everything.
2085
01:35:36,541 --> 01:35:40,321
- By 35, they were divorced.
2086
01:35:43,301 --> 01:35:47,761
At 42, he had married Vienetta.
2087
01:35:48,621 --> 01:35:50,221
- We used to go
out when we were younger.
2088
01:35:50,421 --> 01:35:52,661
- We met in the launderette.
2089
01:35:52,861 --> 01:35:53,821
Once a week.
2090
01:35:53,822 --> 01:35:56,221
- Once a week at the launderette.
2091
01:35:56,421 --> 01:35:57,261
Baked beans.
2092
01:35:57,262 --> 01:35:58,500
- Pickles.
2093
01:35:58,501 --> 01:35:59,661
- Go and get the water and...
2094
01:35:59,861 --> 01:36:01,701
- One stage, we went to marriage guidance
2095
01:36:01,901 --> 01:36:05,581
'cause the pressures of being together
2096
01:36:05,781 --> 01:36:07,421
were getting to us because we are
2097
01:36:07,621 --> 01:36:10,141
two completely different people.
2098
01:36:10,341 --> 01:36:14,061
I'm very laid back,
2099
01:36:15,421 --> 01:36:17,541
and she always says if
I go any further back,
2100
01:36:17,741 --> 01:36:18,741
I'll fall over.
2101
01:36:20,341 --> 01:36:21,741
- Oh, look, broccoli.
2102
01:36:21,941 --> 01:36:23,421
When two people are together
2103
01:36:23,621 --> 01:36:25,261
and you both have separate lives,
2104
01:36:25,461 --> 01:36:27,741
it is hard, and there are silly things,
2105
01:36:27,941 --> 01:36:30,901
like leaving the toilet
seat up or something
2106
01:36:31,101 --> 01:36:33,341
or when I put something here,
I expect to see it there.
2107
01:36:33,541 --> 01:36:35,061
Simon can be really untidy.
2108
01:36:35,261 --> 01:36:37,621
He'll take everything off and
fling it around the house.
2109
01:36:37,821 --> 01:36:38,661
- Sorry, dear.
2110
01:36:38,662 --> 01:36:41,981
- Don't get it all mixed up.
2111
01:36:42,181 --> 01:36:44,180
- Is he romantic?
2112
01:36:44,181 --> 01:36:46,101
- If we've had an argument,
and he doesn't know
2113
01:36:46,301 --> 01:36:49,701
'cause I will shout, and
he'll think, what have I done?
2114
01:36:49,901 --> 01:36:51,821
And I'll be here, like
now, and I'll be here,
2115
01:36:52,021 --> 01:36:54,061
and I'd see him with flowers
2116
01:36:54,261 --> 01:36:56,301
and a bottle of wine or something,
2117
01:36:56,501 --> 01:36:58,501
and he'll say, "I'm sorry,
I don't know what I done,
2118
01:36:58,701 --> 01:36:59,821
"but I'm sorry."
2119
01:37:01,861 --> 01:37:04,381
- Vienetta already
had a daughter, Miriam,
2120
01:37:04,581 --> 01:37:09,361
and she and Simon have a son, Daniel.
2121
01:37:11,541 --> 01:37:13,581
Is there anything of you in him?
2122
01:37:13,781 --> 01:37:16,301
- His dashing good looks, yeah.
2123
01:37:16,501 --> 01:37:20,581
That's me and his love of sport as well.
2124
01:37:20,781 --> 01:37:22,501
He goes to school in Slough,
2125
01:37:22,701 --> 01:37:25,021
because that's where
they do grammar schools.
2126
01:37:25,221 --> 01:37:27,181
He's doing very well there.
2127
01:37:27,381 --> 01:37:30,061
They say, "Where's your father then?
2128
01:37:30,261 --> 01:37:33,581
"When your mum's out at
work, is there your father?"
2129
01:37:33,781 --> 01:37:36,701
And I just tell them I ain't got one.
2130
01:37:36,901 --> 01:37:39,061
They've got everything.
2131
01:37:39,261 --> 01:37:42,221
They've even got what I never had.
2132
01:37:42,421 --> 01:37:43,261
- Which is what?
2133
01:37:43,262 --> 01:37:44,300
- A father, innit?
2134
01:37:44,301 --> 01:37:46,821
So, I mean, they've had everything.
2135
01:37:47,021 --> 01:37:50,061
At one stage, they will
stop seeing me at all,
2136
01:37:50,261 --> 01:37:54,541
but now, bit older, bit wiser,
2137
01:37:54,741 --> 01:38:00,921
and I'm a bit older and wiser,
and now three of them see me.
2138
01:38:01,501 --> 01:38:03,061
Jessica has been very busy herself.
2139
01:38:03,261 --> 01:38:05,541
She's got her work, she's got college.
2140
01:38:05,741 --> 01:38:07,501
So who do you support?
2141
01:38:07,701 --> 01:38:09,981
Your lot comes second.
2142
01:38:10,181 --> 01:38:12,901
Jonathan's been in transitional period
2143
01:38:13,101 --> 01:38:18,181
with changing jobs and
building up his new life.
2144
01:38:18,381 --> 01:38:24,621
The two that don't, I can't
really see their point of view.
2145
01:38:24,821 --> 01:38:26,861
- So what's it
like being a grandfather?
2146
01:38:27,061 --> 01:38:28,141
- Oh, it's bloody easy, actually.
2147
01:38:28,341 --> 01:38:31,581
You can see them all day long
and then let them go back.
2148
01:38:31,781 --> 01:38:33,301
- And you've got one?
2149
01:38:33,501 --> 01:38:34,501
- Two, actually.
2150
01:38:35,941 --> 01:38:38,741
One that I see and one
that I would only see
2151
01:38:38,941 --> 01:38:41,861
if I kept going round to see him.
2152
01:38:42,061 --> 01:38:43,021
Otherwise, I wouldn't see him,
2153
01:38:43,221 --> 01:38:48,521
so I am waiting for the return visit now.
2154
01:38:49,061 --> 01:38:52,901
Before I'm old enough to get a job,
2155
01:38:53,101 --> 01:38:57,221
I'd just walk around
and see what I can find.
2156
01:38:57,421 --> 01:38:58,821
Was gonna be a film star,
2157
01:38:59,021 --> 01:39:04,221
but now, I'm gonna be
an electrical engineer
2158
01:39:04,421 --> 01:39:06,821
which is more to reality, really.
2159
01:39:07,021 --> 01:39:09,701
- By 21, Simon was
working in the freezer room
2160
01:39:09,901 --> 01:39:12,301
of Wall's sausages in London.
2161
01:39:12,501 --> 01:39:14,021
- I know I can't stay at Wall's forever.
2162
01:39:14,221 --> 01:39:15,661
I mean, it's just not me.
2163
01:39:15,861 --> 01:39:17,701
I couldn't stay there for that long.
2164
01:39:17,901 --> 01:39:20,461
My mind would go dead.
2165
01:39:20,661 --> 01:39:22,741
I'm quite happy to stay there.
2166
01:39:22,941 --> 01:39:24,381
Doesn't look like it's gonna close down,
2167
01:39:24,581 --> 01:39:28,941
so, I mean, better the
devil you know, innit?
2168
01:39:29,141 --> 01:39:31,381
- Wall's did
close the factory down.
2169
01:39:31,581 --> 01:39:33,901
Since then, he has worked
near Heathrow Airport
2170
01:39:34,101 --> 01:39:35,181
handling freight.
2171
01:39:37,061 --> 01:39:39,901
- The only reason I really
went there was to work
2172
01:39:40,101 --> 01:39:41,701
near to where my son was going to school
2173
01:39:41,901 --> 01:39:44,601
so I could drop him off.
2174
01:39:45,781 --> 01:39:47,701
- Do you feel
you could have done more
2175
01:39:47,901 --> 01:39:50,301
with a career with your work?
2176
01:39:50,501 --> 01:39:52,941
- If I had
pushed myself at school,
2177
01:39:53,141 --> 01:39:56,021
probably I could have done a lot better.
2178
01:39:56,221 --> 01:39:59,461
- Does that give
you pause for thought?
2179
01:39:59,661 --> 01:40:03,661
- No, that means I was a
lazy sod when I was younger.
2180
01:40:03,861 --> 01:40:06,501
Somebody once said that
you don't live to work,
2181
01:40:06,701 --> 01:40:10,181
you work to live, and
that's how it should be.
2182
01:40:10,381 --> 01:40:11,741
- Obviously, when
children come into foster care,
2183
01:40:11,941 --> 01:40:13,221
family and friends are involved as well.
2184
01:40:13,421 --> 01:40:15,581
- A couple of
years ago, Simon and Vienetta
2185
01:40:15,781 --> 01:40:18,581
decided to train as foster parents.
2186
01:40:18,781 --> 01:40:20,621
- Went to boarding
school when I was young,
2187
01:40:20,821 --> 01:40:24,781
and I always felt that was regimental.
2188
01:40:24,981 --> 01:40:26,741
It didn't allow for personal care,
2189
01:40:26,941 --> 01:40:29,501
for loving from the adult carers,
2190
01:40:29,701 --> 01:40:32,941
so I wanted to do something
like that for myself
2191
01:40:33,141 --> 01:40:34,141
in my own home.
2192
01:40:36,141 --> 01:40:37,221
- And we always say to foster carers,
2193
01:40:37,421 --> 01:40:39,301
please do not cut the children's hair
2194
01:40:39,501 --> 01:40:41,181
without the permission of the parents.
2195
01:40:41,381 --> 01:40:42,381
- So what's the toughest thing
2196
01:40:42,581 --> 01:40:44,981
about being a foster parent?
2197
01:40:45,181 --> 01:40:48,341
- You're taking a chance when you do it
2198
01:40:48,541 --> 01:40:52,261
'cause you really don't
know what you're getting.
2199
01:40:52,461 --> 01:40:54,541
One child had two knives in her hands
2200
01:40:54,741 --> 01:40:58,341
because she didn't wanna
stay in this country.
2201
01:40:58,541 --> 01:40:59,501
Two knives in her hands.
2202
01:40:59,701 --> 01:41:00,342
- She threatened you?
2203
01:41:00,542 --> 01:41:02,981
- No, she was just a threat to herself.
2204
01:41:03,181 --> 01:41:03,901
Some of them come back.
2205
01:41:04,101 --> 01:41:04,742
They ring you up and say,
2206
01:41:04,942 --> 01:41:06,901
"Hello, auntie, hello,
uncle, how are you?"
2207
01:41:07,101 --> 01:41:09,061
They come and have Sunday
dinner, come and visit us,
2208
01:41:09,261 --> 01:41:10,380
which is good.
2209
01:41:10,381 --> 01:41:11,741
At least you know you've
made a little difference
2210
01:41:11,941 --> 01:41:14,741
to that child or that person's life.
2211
01:41:14,941 --> 01:41:16,821
- Okay, obviously, we have
Heathrow in our borough,
2212
01:41:17,021 --> 01:41:18,581
and that gives us extra things
2213
01:41:18,781 --> 01:41:21,061
that foster carers might need to do.
2214
01:41:21,261 --> 01:41:22,661
- So where are
these children coming from
2215
01:41:22,861 --> 01:41:24,741
that come to your house?
2216
01:41:24,941 --> 01:41:26,501
- Oh, all over the world.
2217
01:41:26,701 --> 01:41:28,180
So anywhere.
2218
01:41:28,181 --> 01:41:29,780
- Anywhere.
2219
01:41:29,781 --> 01:41:30,621
- When they come off the plane,
2220
01:41:30,821 --> 01:41:34,301
they expected to be meeting somebody
2221
01:41:34,501 --> 01:41:37,721
but that person doesn't turn up.
2222
01:41:41,781 --> 01:41:42,581
- Simon.
2223
01:41:42,581 --> 01:41:43,421
- How you doing?
2224
01:41:43,422 --> 01:41:45,981
- Simon had been at
the children's home with Paul,
2225
01:41:46,181 --> 01:41:50,141
so we brought Paul back from
Australia to reunite them.
2226
01:41:50,341 --> 01:41:50,981
- Was it good, though?
2227
01:41:51,181 --> 01:41:52,181
- Yeah, yeah.
2228
01:41:53,581 --> 01:41:55,221
- You can see Windsor
Castle from their house.
2229
01:41:55,421 --> 01:41:57,140
- Look at that.
2230
01:41:57,141 --> 01:41:59,141
- We don't actually see each
other, touch each other,
2231
01:41:59,341 --> 01:42:01,621
but we're living each other's lives.
2232
01:42:01,821 --> 01:42:03,301
Every seven years, it all comes back
2233
01:42:03,501 --> 01:42:06,581
and we get up to this
far, and we've done this,
2234
01:42:06,781 --> 01:42:08,341
and you've done that.
2235
01:42:08,541 --> 01:42:09,381
I remember...
2236
01:42:09,382 --> 01:42:10,500
- When they were 21,
2237
01:42:10,501 --> 01:42:11,821
we took them back to where they had spent
2238
01:42:12,021 --> 01:42:13,661
some of their formative years together.
2239
01:42:13,861 --> 01:42:17,101
- Went over four, doesn't it?
2240
01:42:17,301 --> 01:42:18,141
Remember him?
2241
01:42:18,141 --> 01:42:18,941
- Yeah.
2242
01:42:18,942 --> 01:42:21,221
- He was a real bastard.
2243
01:42:21,421 --> 01:42:26,901
I do try to be disciplined but
I actually hate discipline.
2244
01:42:27,101 --> 01:42:29,981
I believe the school has taught me that.
2245
01:42:30,181 --> 01:42:33,821
- There's always been a
bit of turmoil inside.
2246
01:42:34,021 --> 01:42:36,781
I believe that divorce
affects children a lot.
2247
01:42:36,981 --> 01:42:41,001
- See, I can get on well
with my mother sometimes.
2248
01:42:42,181 --> 01:42:44,021
We talk very well with each other,
2249
01:42:44,221 --> 01:42:49,561
but it's sometimes not
quite as mother and son.
2250
01:42:50,421 --> 01:42:55,161
- When he was 34,
Simon's mother died of cancer.
2251
01:42:55,541 --> 01:42:59,981
- There was so many things I
never actually said to my mum,
2252
01:43:00,181 --> 01:43:02,581
just things you think about afterwards.
2253
01:43:02,781 --> 01:43:06,141
It's too late, because
they're not there anymore.
2254
01:43:06,341 --> 01:43:08,901
- What sort of things?
2255
01:43:09,101 --> 01:43:11,461
- Just I love you every day, you know.
2256
01:43:11,661 --> 01:43:12,422
Later on in life, I did realise
2257
01:43:12,622 --> 01:43:14,741
that she got depressed as well,
2258
01:43:14,941 --> 01:43:16,981
so that was probably a bigger reason
2259
01:43:17,181 --> 01:43:19,581
than not being able to look after me.
2260
01:43:19,781 --> 01:43:21,581
- My mother wrote to me when I was 21,
2261
01:43:21,781 --> 01:43:23,861
and I hadn't really had
any contact with her.
2262
01:43:24,061 --> 01:43:26,301
When I was 21, she come out and visited,
2263
01:43:26,501 --> 01:43:27,381
but I did grow up without her,
2264
01:43:27,581 --> 01:43:30,301
so it was like looking
at a total stranger.
2265
01:43:30,501 --> 01:43:32,461
I didn't recognise her at all,
2266
01:43:32,661 --> 01:43:38,421
so there was no real
in-depth feeling there.
2267
01:43:38,621 --> 01:43:41,141
- Paul, get in there next to him as well.
2268
01:43:41,341 --> 01:43:42,941
Come on, let me get you organised.
2269
01:43:43,141 --> 01:43:45,901
- Are these two guys very alike?
2270
01:43:46,101 --> 01:43:46,742
- Well, I think they're alike
2271
01:43:46,942 --> 01:43:48,741
because they don't seem
to jump into things.
2272
01:43:48,941 --> 01:43:50,901
They'll stand back and
have a little look at it.
2273
01:43:51,101 --> 01:43:52,541
You make them enjoy themselves,
2274
01:43:52,741 --> 01:43:54,461
like when we went for a walk
around London yesterday,
2275
01:43:54,661 --> 01:43:55,302
I said, "You are coming,
2276
01:43:55,502 --> 01:43:56,661
"and you are having a
good time doing this,"
2277
01:43:56,861 --> 01:43:59,101
And he did have a good time doing it, so,
2278
01:43:59,301 --> 01:44:02,341
they're both very family-orientated,
2279
01:44:02,541 --> 01:44:04,061
and they both married noisy women.
2280
01:44:04,261 --> 01:44:05,381
- That's true.
2281
01:44:07,301 --> 01:44:08,301
- That works for me.
2282
01:44:08,302 --> 01:44:13,341
I had one dream when all
the world was on top of me,
2283
01:44:13,541 --> 01:44:18,101
and everything was on,
and I just about got out,
2284
01:44:18,301 --> 01:44:21,181
and everything flew up in the air.
2285
01:44:21,381 --> 01:44:25,541
I still look up in the sky,
because I don't know any better.
2286
01:44:25,741 --> 01:44:29,301
Everything I have, I
always think, is that okay?
2287
01:44:29,501 --> 01:44:32,301
Is that right that I should have that?
2288
01:44:32,501 --> 01:44:35,221
People are undecided about you.
2289
01:44:35,421 --> 01:44:39,941
They could be your friend
one day and not the next.
2290
01:44:40,141 --> 01:44:44,461
I wanted to be a boxer, actor,
2291
01:44:44,661 --> 01:44:48,501
but I never actually really wanted them.
2292
01:44:48,701 --> 01:44:50,661
I just wanted to be liked.
2293
01:44:50,861 --> 01:44:52,181
- Paul actually gets,
2294
01:44:52,381 --> 01:44:53,301
that's all he ever wants out of people
2295
01:44:53,501 --> 01:44:56,421
is just people to like him
for who he is and what he is
2296
01:44:56,621 --> 01:44:58,661
without having to put
on any false pretences.
2297
01:44:58,861 --> 01:45:00,741
I think that's why he doesn't
open himself up to people.
2298
01:45:00,941 --> 01:45:01,781
- Hello, darling.
2299
01:45:01,782 --> 01:45:02,860
- How are you doing?
2300
01:45:02,861 --> 01:45:03,940
- Hello.
2301
01:45:03,941 --> 01:45:06,261
- Do you have any
regrets, the two of you?
2302
01:45:06,461 --> 01:45:07,741
- Yes, I do.
2303
01:45:08,981 --> 01:45:11,141
That we didn't get together earlier.
2304
01:45:11,341 --> 01:45:13,061
- I think marriage is good for me.
2305
01:45:13,261 --> 01:45:15,261
- What does she give you?
2306
01:45:15,461 --> 01:45:18,601
- Hot dinners and a warm bed.
2307
01:45:23,941 --> 01:45:27,481
She gives me a balance in my life because
2308
01:45:27,701 --> 01:45:32,841
on my own, I would probably
be your typical slob.
2309
01:45:33,541 --> 01:45:34,861
Men behaving badly.
2310
01:45:36,341 --> 01:45:40,141
We do get things done,
and we do things together.
2311
01:45:40,341 --> 01:45:42,741
'Cause you've multiplied
before, so now you divide it.
2312
01:45:42,941 --> 01:45:45,501
- Is it tough for the two of you
2313
01:45:45,701 --> 01:45:47,981
being in these films?
2314
01:45:48,181 --> 01:45:51,861
- I will say that I do love
watching everybody else.
2315
01:45:52,061 --> 01:45:53,741
I always hated them, to be honest.
2316
01:45:53,941 --> 01:45:56,621
By the end of it, I normally hate you.
2317
01:45:56,821 --> 01:46:01,041
Direct all of my anger in one place.
2318
01:46:11,181 --> 01:46:13,741
- I read "The Financial Times".
2319
01:46:13,941 --> 01:46:16,701
- I read "The Observer" and "The Times".
2320
01:46:16,901 --> 01:46:18,821
- What do you like about it?
2321
01:46:19,021 --> 01:46:20,660
- Well, I like,
2322
01:46:20,661 --> 01:46:25,761
I usually look at the headlines
and then read about it.
2323
01:46:28,341 --> 01:46:31,221
- At seven years
old, John, Andrew and Charles
2324
01:46:31,421 --> 01:46:35,921
were in a private
preparatory school in London.
2325
01:46:37,221 --> 01:46:40,061
- What's the point of the programme?
2326
01:46:40,261 --> 01:46:41,101
- It's that the point of the programme
2327
01:46:41,301 --> 01:46:43,061
is to reach a comparison.
2328
01:46:43,261 --> 01:46:44,261
I don't think it is,
2329
01:46:45,581 --> 01:46:47,621
because we're not
necessarily typical examples.
2330
01:46:47,821 --> 01:46:49,701
- And I think that's what
people seeing the programme
2331
01:46:49,901 --> 01:46:50,741
might think.
2332
01:46:50,741 --> 01:46:51,541
- Yes.
2333
01:46:51,541 --> 01:46:52,381
- Falsely.
2334
01:46:52,382 --> 01:46:53,501
- That's one of the troubles
with this sort of programme.
2335
01:46:53,701 --> 01:46:55,541
I don't really think that people like us
2336
01:46:55,741 --> 01:46:58,221
unless we are being seven
and being rather funny,
2337
01:46:58,421 --> 01:47:00,741
have very much to say
that's very interesting,
2338
01:47:00,941 --> 01:47:04,741
'cause we don't know very much.
2339
01:47:04,941 --> 01:47:06,261
- We didn't know very
much when we were seven,
2340
01:47:06,461 --> 01:47:08,181
but we were still quite funny.
- At least funny.
2341
01:47:08,381 --> 01:47:10,421
- What do you think
about girlfriends at your age?
2342
01:47:10,621 --> 01:47:11,262
Tell me what you think...
2343
01:47:11,462 --> 01:47:13,981
- I've got one, but I
don't think much of her.
2344
01:47:14,181 --> 01:47:17,441
They're no longer just bores
2345
01:47:17,741 --> 01:47:19,661
who won't play this or something.
2346
01:47:19,861 --> 01:47:21,061
- They're the other half of the community
2347
01:47:21,261 --> 01:47:23,500
and they're there.
2348
01:47:23,501 --> 01:47:25,581
- You can begin to talk to them.
2349
01:47:25,781 --> 01:47:29,421
- I don't think I financially
come from the same background,
2350
01:47:29,621 --> 01:47:32,421
and Andrew didn't go for a haughty deb,
2351
01:47:32,621 --> 01:47:34,701
he went for a good Yorkshire lass.
2352
01:47:34,901 --> 01:47:37,021
But, I mean, obviously
he knew what he wanted.
2353
01:47:37,221 --> 01:47:40,261
- Does money concern you a lot?
2354
01:47:40,461 --> 01:47:43,341
- No, I think as long as one
has enough to be comfortable,
2355
01:47:43,541 --> 01:47:46,901
that's really what one should aim for.
2356
01:47:47,101 --> 01:47:48,101
- What's the
most difficult thing
2357
01:47:48,301 --> 01:47:50,981
about keeping the marriage together?
2358
01:47:51,181 --> 01:47:52,901
- I don't think it is
particularly difficult, actually.
2359
01:47:53,101 --> 01:47:57,221
We seem to manage all
right, would you say?
2360
01:47:57,421 --> 01:47:58,261
- I think so.
2361
01:47:58,261 --> 01:47:59,261
We talk, don't we?
2362
01:48:00,021 --> 01:48:02,381
- So how is married life?
2363
01:48:02,581 --> 01:48:06,761
- Well, I still love him, if
that's what you're asking.
2364
01:48:07,181 --> 01:48:08,181
- And likewise.
2365
01:48:10,181 --> 01:48:13,021
I am going to Charterhouse,
2366
01:48:13,221 --> 01:48:19,301
and after that, Trinity Hall, Cambridge.
2367
01:48:19,501 --> 01:48:21,661
- Andrew went to
Charterhouse and Cambridge
2368
01:48:21,861 --> 01:48:22,901
where he read law.
2369
01:48:23,901 --> 01:48:29,061
- I'd like to be a solicitor
and also fairly successful.
2370
01:48:29,261 --> 01:48:32,261
- At 28, Andrew was a solicitor.
2371
01:48:32,461 --> 01:48:36,421
What qualities do you think
it needs to be successful?
2372
01:48:36,621 --> 01:48:38,461
- Well, you have to have a legal ability
2373
01:48:38,661 --> 01:48:40,861
in my business, obviously.
2374
01:48:41,061 --> 01:48:44,101
- By 35, he
had become a partner.
2375
01:48:44,301 --> 01:48:45,022
- In a couple of weeks,
2376
01:48:45,222 --> 01:48:47,781
we are going be having our
legal conference in Dublin.
2377
01:48:47,981 --> 01:48:51,421
- At 49, Andrew
has left the law firm.
2378
01:48:51,621 --> 01:48:53,661
- I've moved to a
large industrial gases company
2379
01:48:53,861 --> 01:48:57,741
which makes oxygen and nitrogen,
hydrogen, things like that.
2380
01:48:57,941 --> 01:49:00,061
- Were you taking a chance?
2381
01:49:00,261 --> 01:49:04,981
- Yes, I've been at the
same firm for over 20 years,
2382
01:49:05,181 --> 01:49:09,501
but it's not very challenging,
and changing like this,
2383
01:49:09,701 --> 01:49:11,941
particularly quite late in your career,
2384
01:49:12,141 --> 01:49:13,741
sort of stretches you.
2385
01:49:13,941 --> 01:49:16,461
- I think it's not a bad
idea to pay for school
2386
01:49:16,661 --> 01:49:21,741
because if we didn't, schools
would be so nasty and crowded.
2387
01:49:21,941 --> 01:49:22,781
- Yes.
2388
01:49:22,782 --> 01:49:25,421
- So do I think so, and the people
2389
01:49:25,621 --> 01:49:27,501
in the schools wouldn't, and the...
2390
01:49:27,701 --> 01:49:29,141
- And the poor people
would come rushing in.
2391
01:49:29,341 --> 01:49:32,061
- The man in charge of the school would...
2392
01:49:32,261 --> 01:49:33,540
- Get very angry.
2393
01:49:33,541 --> 01:49:35,021
- Would very angry because he would...
2394
01:49:35,221 --> 01:49:36,301
- And he'd get bankrupt.
2395
01:49:36,501 --> 01:49:40,261
- He wouldn't be able
to pay all the masters
2396
01:49:40,461 --> 01:49:42,421
if he didn't get any money.
2397
01:49:42,621 --> 01:49:45,301
Education is very important.
2398
01:49:45,501 --> 01:49:46,381
I mean, you can never be sure
2399
01:49:46,581 --> 01:49:50,221
of leaving your children
any worldly goods,
2400
01:49:50,421 --> 01:49:51,661
but at least you can be sure
2401
01:49:51,861 --> 01:49:54,181
that once you've given
them a good education,
2402
01:49:54,381 --> 01:49:57,941
that's something that
no one can take away.
2403
01:49:58,141 --> 01:49:59,941
- Andrew and Jane have two sons,
2404
01:50:00,141 --> 01:50:03,761
Alexander and Timothy.
2405
01:50:04,421 --> 01:50:05,981
- Alexander's at university.
2406
01:50:06,181 --> 01:50:09,221
He's in his first year at Newcastle,
2407
01:50:09,421 --> 01:50:12,261
and Timothy's at boarding school.
2408
01:50:12,461 --> 01:50:13,541
- I think he'd like to go to university
2409
01:50:13,741 --> 01:50:16,221
but I think that's as
far as he's got, really.
2410
01:50:16,421 --> 01:50:17,741
Maybe even over the summer holidays,
2411
01:50:17,941 --> 01:50:19,381
we might start to talk to him about,
2412
01:50:19,581 --> 01:50:23,501
are there any universities he
would like to go and look at.
2413
01:50:23,701 --> 01:50:25,461
- Andrew and
Jane live in London,
2414
01:50:25,661 --> 01:50:28,981
but they have a second
home in the country.
2415
01:50:29,181 --> 01:50:30,901
- Well, we bought it about just
2416
01:50:31,101 --> 01:50:32,900
when we got married.
2417
01:50:32,901 --> 01:50:36,501
It was a 200-year-old barn
that we bought in an auction,
2418
01:50:36,701 --> 01:50:41,421
completely derelict, nothing
in it all except for manure,
2419
01:50:41,621 --> 01:50:42,741
and then, slowly over the years,
2420
01:50:42,941 --> 01:50:46,181
we've just been converting it.
2421
01:50:46,381 --> 01:50:47,581
But it's really taken us up
2422
01:50:47,781 --> 01:50:50,501
until fairly recently to do that.
2423
01:50:50,701 --> 01:50:52,300
Ollie, come on.
2424
01:50:52,301 --> 01:50:53,621
There's a railway line that runs along
2425
01:50:53,821 --> 01:50:54,701
the bottom of our land.
2426
01:50:54,901 --> 01:50:56,661
There's a foxes' den down there.
2427
01:50:56,861 --> 01:51:00,381
We've been seeing a few cubs recently.
2428
01:51:00,581 --> 01:51:05,281
- What sort of
hobbies does Alexander enjoy?
2429
01:51:05,781 --> 01:51:06,542
- Well, on the odd occasion,
2430
01:51:06,742 --> 01:51:11,761
he's quite keen on doing what
we call dangerous sports.
2431
01:51:12,221 --> 01:51:15,741
And we're going to treat
him to a balloon ride
2432
01:51:15,941 --> 01:51:19,181
sort of in advance of his
birthday, which is coming up soon.
2433
01:51:19,381 --> 01:51:20,660
- Whoo, here we go.
2434
01:51:20,661 --> 01:51:21,461
- See you all.
2435
01:51:21,462 --> 01:51:23,301
- See you later.
2436
01:51:25,701 --> 01:51:27,661
- I have actually been
in a balloon once myself.
2437
01:51:27,861 --> 01:51:29,101
It was for my father's birthday,
2438
01:51:29,301 --> 01:51:32,021
and it was all going
very well until the end,
2439
01:51:32,221 --> 01:51:34,061
when we managed to hit some trees and...
2440
01:51:34,261 --> 01:51:35,101
- Oh, don't tell me that now.
2441
01:51:35,301 --> 01:51:39,221
We landed on the basket,
we landed on its side.
2442
01:51:39,421 --> 01:51:41,620
- It's very high.
2443
01:51:41,621 --> 01:51:42,621
Very high.
2444
01:51:43,421 --> 01:51:47,181
- When we landed, there was a request that
2445
01:51:47,381 --> 01:51:49,821
all the ladies go downwind
2446
01:51:50,021 --> 01:51:53,401
so that we could land on top of them.
2447
01:51:54,181 --> 01:51:55,981
Once I had a talk to Greville,
2448
01:51:56,181 --> 01:52:01,501
he was in my house, and I asked
2449
01:52:01,701 --> 01:52:03,501
if he could put him out of my house
2450
01:52:03,701 --> 01:52:07,181
because he was always getting minuses.
2451
01:52:07,381 --> 01:52:08,621
- Do you think
life is tougher out there
2452
01:52:08,821 --> 01:52:12,141
for your children than it was for you?
2453
01:52:12,341 --> 01:52:13,741
- Yes, certainly, I think it's much more
2454
01:52:13,941 --> 01:52:16,181
competitive for children.
2455
01:52:16,381 --> 01:52:17,621
When I leave this school,
2456
01:52:17,821 --> 01:52:21,181
I go to Broadstairs, St. Peter's Court.
2457
01:52:21,381 --> 01:52:23,341
If you look back at us
sitting on the settee
2458
01:52:23,541 --> 01:52:25,861
at the age of seven, and I was
saying what was I gonna do,
2459
01:52:26,061 --> 01:52:28,781
as if my life was mapped out for me.
2460
01:52:28,981 --> 01:52:32,301
Trinity Hall, Cambridge.
2461
01:52:32,501 --> 01:52:33,901
You know, you could never
get a child doing that now
2462
01:52:34,101 --> 01:52:35,581
saying, "I'm going to go to Cambridge."
2463
01:52:35,781 --> 01:52:38,461
Things have become less
certain as a result.
2464
01:52:38,661 --> 01:52:40,141
- And you three on that settee
2465
01:52:40,341 --> 01:52:42,221
had huge opportunity.
2466
01:52:42,421 --> 01:52:44,861
- We did, absolutely, yeah.
2467
01:52:45,061 --> 01:52:50,121
- Well, I think boarding
makes you feel self-sufficient
2468
01:52:50,621 --> 01:52:51,821
and also teaches you to be away
2469
01:52:52,021 --> 01:52:53,501
from your parents and to live with people.
2470
01:52:53,701 --> 01:52:55,741
- And who was the
big influence in your life
2471
01:52:55,941 --> 01:52:59,141
in giving you a sense
of proportion and value?
2472
01:52:59,341 --> 01:53:02,061
- Well, obviously it's your parents.
2473
01:53:02,261 --> 01:53:05,421
They bring you up for the
first 18 years of your life.
2474
01:53:05,621 --> 01:53:09,661
Well, I have my bath at six
o'clock and then go to bed at...
2475
01:53:09,861 --> 01:53:12,501
- Do you ever
look back and think
2476
01:53:12,701 --> 01:53:14,501
is there anything you
would like to have been
2477
01:53:14,701 --> 01:53:17,021
different from what it was?
2478
01:53:17,221 --> 01:53:18,621
- I think, from my point of view, perhaps,
2479
01:53:18,821 --> 01:53:19,861
as the children were growing up,
2480
01:53:20,061 --> 01:53:21,661
I would liked to have
spent a bit more time
2481
01:53:21,861 --> 01:53:24,501
at home with them rather
than in the office
2482
01:53:24,701 --> 01:53:27,821
but that's something that
it's too late to do now.
2483
01:53:28,021 --> 01:53:30,581
So everything we say, they'll think,
2484
01:53:30,781 --> 01:53:33,621
oh, that's a typical result
of the public school system.
2485
01:53:33,821 --> 01:53:35,540
- Yeah.
2486
01:53:35,541 --> 01:53:37,781
- When we were
seven and 14 and 21,
2487
01:53:37,981 --> 01:53:40,621
we were fairly prepared
to say what we thought,
2488
01:53:40,821 --> 01:53:45,381
but we have become more
guarded over the years.
2489
01:53:45,581 --> 01:53:48,461
- What are you guarded about?
2490
01:53:48,661 --> 01:53:51,841
- I'm guarded about being guarded.
2491
01:53:52,781 --> 01:53:55,780
- Here we go, ooh!
2492
01:53:55,781 --> 01:53:57,621
- So did you
ever fall on the ladies?
2493
01:53:57,821 --> 01:54:00,741
- No, the lady fell on me.
2494
01:54:00,941 --> 01:54:03,981
But it was my wife, so that was good.
2495
01:54:04,181 --> 01:54:08,661
- When I leave school, I am
going to the Dragon School,
2496
01:54:08,861 --> 01:54:13,141
I might and mum is, and I might go to,
2497
01:54:13,341 --> 01:54:16,901
after, I might go to
Charterhouse, Marlborough.
2498
01:54:17,101 --> 01:54:18,301
I don't particularly want to be rich
2499
01:54:18,501 --> 01:54:21,501
but I'd like to have enough money.
2500
01:54:21,701 --> 01:54:23,141
- Charles went to Marlborough
2501
01:54:23,341 --> 01:54:25,581
and then onto Durham University.
2502
01:54:25,781 --> 01:54:30,381
Since 21, he's taken no
further part in these films.
2503
01:54:30,581 --> 01:54:37,081
- When I leave this school,
I'm going to Colet Court,
2504
01:54:38,341 --> 01:54:40,941
and then I will be going to
Westminster boarding school
2505
01:54:41,141 --> 01:54:42,141
if I pass the exam,
2506
01:54:44,061 --> 01:54:49,561
and then we think I'm going
to Cambridge and Trinity Hall.
2507
01:54:51,981 --> 01:54:53,501
- John went to Westminster,
2508
01:54:53,701 --> 01:54:57,721
then onto read law at
Christ Church, Oxford.
2509
01:54:58,901 --> 01:55:02,861
- I'm thinking of following a legal career
2510
01:55:03,061 --> 01:55:05,581
with a view to ending in parliament.
2511
01:55:05,781 --> 01:55:06,781
Might be at the bar.
2512
01:55:08,941 --> 01:55:10,101
- Doing what?
2513
01:55:11,301 --> 01:55:12,781
- Perhaps chancery practise.
2514
01:55:12,981 --> 01:55:13,861
I now have a career.
2515
01:55:13,862 --> 01:55:15,221
I'm a barrister.
2516
01:55:16,941 --> 01:55:20,061
Other than that, life chugs
along in varying degrees.
2517
01:55:20,261 --> 01:55:21,701
Well, in a sense, not
very much has changed
2518
01:55:21,901 --> 01:55:23,821
in my career over the last 14 years.
2519
01:55:24,021 --> 01:55:27,861
I'm still a barrister, I
still wear a curly white wig.
2520
01:55:28,061 --> 01:55:29,941
The only visible difference, I suppose,
2521
01:55:30,141 --> 01:55:33,541
is I wear a silk gown,
because I am now a QC.
2522
01:55:33,741 --> 01:55:35,420
- Are you ambitious?
2523
01:55:35,421 --> 01:55:36,460
- Yes.
2524
01:55:36,461 --> 01:55:37,860
- What for?
2525
01:55:37,861 --> 01:55:40,741
- Fame and power.
2526
01:55:43,021 --> 01:55:44,581
- What sort of power?
2527
01:55:44,781 --> 01:55:46,300
- Political power.
2528
01:55:46,301 --> 01:55:47,741
I would quite like to go into politics,
2529
01:55:47,941 --> 01:55:52,441
but, I mean, that's easier said than done.
2530
01:55:53,261 --> 01:55:54,061
- Meet Morris.
2531
01:55:54,062 --> 01:55:55,901
- I have actually thought
about whether I shouldn't try
2532
01:55:56,101 --> 01:56:00,421
and get myself onto the candidates' list
2533
01:56:00,621 --> 01:56:01,581
but who knows?
2534
01:56:01,582 --> 01:56:06,581
I haven't written myself off
as a potential politician,
2535
01:56:06,781 --> 01:56:09,681
even though I am already 49.
2536
01:56:11,021 --> 01:56:13,541
I worry about the
quality of our democracy.
2537
01:56:13,741 --> 01:56:17,821
I worry in particular
about this government,
2538
01:56:18,021 --> 01:56:19,501
not because they're socialists
2539
01:56:19,701 --> 01:56:20,502
and they're to round us all up
2540
01:56:20,702 --> 01:56:24,421
and take us off to
Trafalgar Square in tumbrels
2541
01:56:24,621 --> 01:56:25,781
to face the guillotine.
2542
01:56:25,981 --> 01:56:26,821
Far from it.
2543
01:56:26,822 --> 01:56:30,341
In fact, Tony Blair is a
very good conservative,
2544
01:56:30,541 --> 01:56:34,261
as I see it, but rather
because of the insidious damage
2545
01:56:34,461 --> 01:56:36,381
they're doing to our constitution.
2546
01:56:36,581 --> 01:56:40,061
- Rich children always make
fun of poor children, I think.
2547
01:56:40,261 --> 01:56:41,141
- Yes.
- Yes.
2548
01:56:41,142 --> 01:56:44,061
- It's very irresponsible
because we all want more money,
2549
01:56:44,261 --> 01:56:46,541
as much money as we can get.
2550
01:56:46,741 --> 01:56:48,901
The acquisition of
sacks and sacks of money
2551
01:56:49,101 --> 01:56:53,781
is not something that I
set much importance by.
2552
01:56:53,981 --> 01:56:56,421
I'm not money-minded, I
would say, in that sense.
2553
01:56:56,621 --> 01:56:59,661
I mean, obviously it's nice to
have a fair amount of money,
2554
01:56:59,861 --> 01:57:04,421
and money does enable you
to go on nice holidays,
2555
01:57:04,621 --> 01:57:06,341
buy nice things, so on and so forth,
2556
01:57:06,541 --> 01:57:08,861
but as a goal in itself, no.
2557
01:57:09,061 --> 01:57:13,341
I mean, who wants to be the
richest corpse in the graveyard?
2558
01:57:13,541 --> 01:57:15,221
- By the time he was 34,
2559
01:57:15,421 --> 01:57:18,581
John had a house in London
and another in the country.
2560
01:57:18,781 --> 01:57:20,101
- I seem to spend an awful lot of my time
2561
01:57:20,301 --> 01:57:22,781
gardening furiously, trying
to tame the wilderness
2562
01:57:22,981 --> 01:57:24,661
that we inherited there.
2563
01:57:24,861 --> 01:57:26,181
I'd have laughed if 10 years ago,
2564
01:57:26,381 --> 01:57:30,181
you'd have told me that I
would spend most of my time
2565
01:57:30,381 --> 01:57:32,541
digging herbaceous borders and things,
2566
01:57:32,741 --> 01:57:36,301
but that's what I seem
to do, and I enjoy it.
2567
01:57:36,501 --> 01:57:38,381
One good thing about
having quite a large house
2568
01:57:38,581 --> 01:57:39,421
in the country now
2569
01:57:39,422 --> 01:57:41,861
is that I have taken up playing the piano.
2570
01:57:42,061 --> 01:57:44,501
- It's a very nonchalant little theme,
2571
01:57:44,701 --> 01:57:45,741
butter wouldn't melt in its mouth,
2572
01:57:45,941 --> 01:57:50,021
so take it very quietly
and let it present itself.
2573
01:57:50,221 --> 01:57:51,061
Off.
2574
01:57:51,061 --> 01:57:51,862
- A couple of years ago,
2575
01:57:52,062 --> 01:57:53,981
I did start again and even practising,
2576
01:57:54,181 --> 01:57:58,841
but I am afraid I've lost
an awful lot of dexterity.
2577
01:58:08,581 --> 01:58:09,741
Whether it's old age and arthritis,
2578
01:58:09,941 --> 01:58:11,581
or whether it's falling
off horses too many times,
2579
01:58:11,781 --> 01:58:13,541
I don't know but, I mean,
I don't feel I've got quite
2580
01:58:13,741 --> 01:58:17,521
the dexterity in my fingers.
2581
01:58:18,981 --> 01:58:20,381
- Certainly, I can never
tell the difference
2582
01:58:20,581 --> 01:58:22,261
between you playing and the CD playing
2583
01:58:22,461 --> 01:58:23,781
when I'm out of the room.
2584
01:58:23,981 --> 01:58:25,461
Yeah, very good, very good.
2585
01:58:25,661 --> 01:58:26,661
- Well, she's very diplomatic.
2586
01:58:26,861 --> 01:58:28,260
- No, no.
2587
01:58:28,261 --> 01:58:29,701
- When boys go round with girls,
2588
01:58:29,901 --> 01:58:32,461
they don't pay attention
to what they're doing.
2589
01:58:32,661 --> 01:58:34,981
Since my grandmother had an accident
2590
01:58:35,181 --> 01:58:37,541
because a boyfriend was
kissing his girlfriend
2591
01:58:37,741 --> 01:58:39,941
in the street.
2592
01:58:41,261 --> 01:58:43,981
- By 35, John
had married Claire,
2593
01:58:44,181 --> 01:58:47,621
the daughter of a former
ambassador to Bulgaria.
2594
01:58:47,821 --> 01:58:50,661
- It is coincidental that we met
2595
01:58:50,861 --> 01:58:54,061
but it's obvious that
the Balkan connection
2596
01:58:54,261 --> 01:58:58,521
was a strong mutual interest.
2597
01:59:02,661 --> 01:59:06,541
- We have a charity, Friends of Bulgaria,
2598
01:59:06,741 --> 01:59:09,421
which started in 1991,
2599
01:59:09,621 --> 01:59:11,101
which actually made quite a lot of money
2600
01:59:11,301 --> 01:59:14,581
which we invested in medicine
and took out to Bulgaria.
2601
01:59:14,781 --> 01:59:17,581
We support some children's
homes in Stara Zagora,
2602
01:59:17,781 --> 01:59:20,101
an institution for disabled children,
2603
01:59:20,301 --> 01:59:22,861
and we make donations to other charities.
2604
01:59:23,061 --> 01:59:25,581
People who go on about the government
2605
01:59:25,781 --> 01:59:27,181
butchering the national health service
2606
01:59:27,381 --> 01:59:28,741
I think should come over to Bulgaria
2607
01:59:28,941 --> 01:59:32,981
to see what being kept
short of necessary supplies
2608
01:59:33,181 --> 01:59:35,261
and funds really does mean.
2609
01:59:35,461 --> 01:59:37,221
We've been told that in some places,
2610
01:59:37,421 --> 01:59:40,141
it's impossible to do even operations,
2611
01:59:40,341 --> 01:59:41,301
albeit they have the operating theatres
2612
01:59:41,501 --> 01:59:43,141
and they have excellent doctors
2613
01:59:43,341 --> 01:59:46,141
for want of simple anaesthetics.
2614
01:59:46,341 --> 01:59:47,861
Up till then, there'd been no provision
2615
01:59:48,061 --> 01:59:51,301
for education of disabled children,
2616
01:59:51,501 --> 01:59:55,341
so we started what was
called a Parallelca,
2617
01:59:55,541 --> 01:59:58,421
which is parallel
education for the disabled,
2618
01:59:58,621 --> 01:59:59,941
and we've now got two classes here.
2619
02:00:00,141 --> 02:00:01,221
What is your name?
2620
02:00:02,061 --> 02:00:04,701
- My name Desis Desteanna.
2621
02:00:04,901 --> 02:00:06,621
- Cristo Christoff.
2622
02:00:08,101 --> 02:00:10,341
Claire and I have been giving prizes
2623
02:00:10,541 --> 02:00:15,341
to the most talented
children in this town.
2624
02:00:15,541 --> 02:00:17,421
The school that we're in was
actually built by my family
2625
02:00:17,621 --> 02:00:20,821
at the end of the 19th century
2626
02:00:21,021 --> 02:00:23,981
and they also used to present prizes
2627
02:00:24,181 --> 02:00:26,701
to the best children
from the school each year
2628
02:00:26,901 --> 02:00:31,541
right until the advent
of communism in 1944.
2629
02:00:31,741 --> 02:00:34,981
I come from a very old family
2630
02:00:35,181 --> 02:00:37,981
with big traditions of
service to this country,
2631
02:00:38,181 --> 02:00:40,741
and, really, when I come here,
2632
02:00:40,941 --> 02:00:43,741
I feel very proud of them
because I feel, in so many ways,
2633
02:00:43,941 --> 02:00:47,241
they've helped build Bulgaria.
2634
02:00:48,301 --> 02:00:50,061
This church is quite interesting.
2635
02:00:50,261 --> 02:00:56,121
It was built by my great-great-great
grandfather in 1834.
2636
02:00:56,461 --> 02:00:59,181
They say he made off with
eight tonnes of gold,
2637
02:00:59,381 --> 02:01:01,861
and even today, the mountains here
2638
02:01:02,061 --> 02:01:03,341
are full of treasure hunters
2639
02:01:03,541 --> 02:01:05,461
who keep digging up all
the caves and everything
2640
02:01:05,661 --> 02:01:08,261
in the hope of finding the treasure.
2641
02:01:08,461 --> 02:01:09,262
I wish I could find it.
2642
02:01:09,462 --> 02:01:13,661
I mean, once I'd refunded my
equitable life pension fund,
2643
02:01:13,861 --> 02:01:18,101
I reckon if I shoot the
horses, shoot the wife
2644
02:01:18,301 --> 02:01:21,181
and only drink Bulgarian wine,
2645
02:01:21,381 --> 02:01:25,981
I may be able to retire
age 94 or something.
2646
02:01:26,181 --> 02:01:30,261
Straw Macanessy got
three minuses in a day.
2647
02:01:30,461 --> 02:01:31,580
He's a pest.
2648
02:01:31,581 --> 02:01:34,141
It has to be said that I bitterly regret
2649
02:01:34,341 --> 02:01:36,061
that the headmaster of the school
2650
02:01:36,261 --> 02:01:37,221
where I was when I was seven
2651
02:01:37,421 --> 02:01:41,581
pushed me forward for this
series, 'cause every seven years,
2652
02:01:41,781 --> 02:01:45,381
a little pill of poison is injected into...
2653
02:01:45,581 --> 02:01:46,740
- Oh, no.
2654
02:01:46,741 --> 02:01:49,221
- Well, it's the truth.
2655
02:01:49,421 --> 02:01:52,181
There are times when I
have felt appearing on this
2656
02:01:52,381 --> 02:01:55,621
may get causes near to my
heart a bit of publicity
2657
02:01:55,821 --> 02:01:58,141
and certainly, when you came to Bulgaria
2658
02:01:58,341 --> 02:02:00,621
for the "35 Up" programme,
2659
02:02:00,821 --> 02:02:04,301
that did lead to us getting
quite significant assistance
2660
02:02:04,501 --> 02:02:06,581
which possibly we wouldn't have got.
2661
02:02:06,781 --> 02:02:09,821
Well, I think it's a very good system.
2662
02:02:10,021 --> 02:02:11,941
I suspect that why this programme
2663
02:02:12,141 --> 02:02:14,301
is compelling and interesting for viewers,
2664
02:02:14,501 --> 02:02:16,421
and I quite see why it
is, is because, really,
2665
02:02:16,621 --> 02:02:19,581
it's like "Big Brother"
or I'm a celebrity,
2666
02:02:19,781 --> 02:02:20,900
get me out of here!
2667
02:02:20,901 --> 02:02:23,341
It is actually real-life TV
2668
02:02:23,541 --> 02:02:26,941
and with the added bonus that
you can see people grow old,
2669
02:02:27,141 --> 02:02:30,161
lose their hair, get fat.
2670
02:02:30,501 --> 02:02:32,741
Fascinating, I'm sure, but
does it have any value?
2671
02:02:32,941 --> 02:02:36,001
That's a different question.
2672
02:02:45,541 --> 02:02:47,541
- Well, we pretend we've got swords,
2673
02:02:47,741 --> 02:02:50,341
and we make the noise
of the swords fighting,
2674
02:02:50,541 --> 02:02:54,501
and once somebody stabs us, we go, ahh!
2675
02:02:54,701 --> 02:02:56,981
- Neil grew up
in a Liverpool suburb.
2676
02:02:57,181 --> 02:03:00,981
He had dreams of going to
Oxford, but didn't get in.
2677
02:03:01,181 --> 02:03:03,501
Instead, he went to Aberdeen University,
2678
02:03:03,701 --> 02:03:07,201
but dropped out after the first term.
2679
02:03:07,581 --> 02:03:10,661
At 21, he was working on a building site
2680
02:03:10,861 --> 02:03:13,581
and living in a squat.
2681
02:03:13,781 --> 02:03:16,421
- I would like to be somebody
in a position of importance,
2682
02:03:16,621 --> 02:03:18,901
I have always thought
2683
02:03:19,101 --> 02:03:20,741
but I don't think I'm
the right sort of person
2684
02:03:20,941 --> 02:03:22,541
to carry the responsibility
for whatever it is.
2685
02:03:22,741 --> 02:03:26,121
I always thought well I'd love to be,
2686
02:03:26,541 --> 02:03:32,281
possibly love to be in politics
or something like this.
2687
02:03:32,501 --> 02:03:34,661
- By 28, he was homeless,
2688
02:03:34,861 --> 02:03:38,561
wandering around the
west coast of Scotland.
2689
02:03:38,941 --> 02:03:41,541
- If the money runs out,
well, then, for a few days,
2690
02:03:41,741 --> 02:03:44,181
there's nowhere to go to,
and that's all you can do.
2691
02:03:44,381 --> 02:03:48,421
I simply have to find the
warmest shed I can find.
2692
02:03:48,621 --> 02:03:51,661
- How do people regard you here?
2693
02:03:51,861 --> 02:03:56,081
- Well, I'm still known as an eccentric.
2694
02:03:57,941 --> 02:03:59,821
I'm not claiming that I feel as though
2695
02:04:00,021 --> 02:04:03,181
I am in some sort of nirvana,
2696
02:04:03,381 --> 02:04:05,661
but I am claiming that if I was living
2697
02:04:05,861 --> 02:04:07,221
in a bedsit in suburbia,
2698
02:04:07,421 --> 02:04:11,381
I'd be so miserable, I'd
feel like cutting my throat.
2699
02:04:11,581 --> 02:04:14,221
- At 35, we found
him living in a council estate
2700
02:04:14,421 --> 02:04:16,461
on the most northerly part of Britain,
2701
02:04:16,661 --> 02:04:18,581
the Shetland Islands.
2702
02:04:18,781 --> 02:04:20,901
- It's an environment which sustains me,
2703
02:04:21,101 --> 02:04:23,581
it's one in which I can survive.
2704
02:04:23,781 --> 02:04:24,582
The reason I don't feel safe
2705
02:04:24,782 --> 02:04:26,581
is because I think I am
getting more and more used
2706
02:04:26,781 --> 02:04:30,181
to this lifestyle, which eventually,
2707
02:04:30,381 --> 02:04:33,121
I shall have to give up.
2708
02:04:33,461 --> 02:04:35,021
- And what would
you like to be doing,
2709
02:04:35,221 --> 02:04:37,260
say, in seven years?
2710
02:04:37,261 --> 02:04:39,061
- I can think of all kinds of
things I'd like to be doing.
2711
02:04:39,261 --> 02:04:45,441
The real question is, what
am I likely to be doing?
2712
02:04:49,701 --> 02:04:51,661
- What are
you likely to be doing?
2713
02:04:51,861 --> 02:04:54,701
- That's a horrible question.
2714
02:04:54,901 --> 02:04:57,101
I tend to think the most likely answer
2715
02:04:57,301 --> 02:04:58,621
is that I'll be wandering homeless
2716
02:04:58,821 --> 02:05:00,661
round the streets of London,
2717
02:05:00,861 --> 02:05:04,561
but with a bit of luck, that won't happen.
2718
02:05:08,141 --> 02:05:12,021
Can I just point out some of
the considerable disadvantages?
2719
02:05:12,221 --> 02:05:14,421
First of all, they are geographically...
2720
02:05:14,621 --> 02:05:17,181
- By 42, Neil
had moved to London
2721
02:05:17,381 --> 02:05:20,181
and was a Liberal Democrat
on Hackney Council.
2722
02:05:20,381 --> 02:05:21,221
- Public transport.
2723
02:05:21,222 --> 02:05:22,661
While I was in Shetland,
I felt very strongly
2724
02:05:22,861 --> 02:05:25,381
that I should become involved in politics,
2725
02:05:25,581 --> 02:05:27,581
simply because I felt I
was not achieving anything
2726
02:05:27,781 --> 02:05:31,361
in the ways I really wanted to.
2727
02:05:35,541 --> 02:05:39,101
- So, didn't expect
to see you driving, Neil.
2728
02:05:39,301 --> 02:05:40,620
- Well, neither,
2729
02:05:40,621 --> 02:05:42,701
if you'd asked me that
question a few years ago,
2730
02:05:42,901 --> 02:05:44,901
I would have been surprised
2731
02:05:45,101 --> 02:05:48,741
but it was my brother's
wife's car, and fortunately,
2732
02:05:48,941 --> 02:05:51,501
she was about to change
vehicles at the time,
2733
02:05:51,701 --> 02:05:53,621
and they let me have it without charge,
2734
02:05:53,821 --> 02:05:58,201
which was really a very
magnanimous gesture.
2735
02:05:59,221 --> 02:06:01,661
- At 49, Neil has left London,
2736
02:06:01,861 --> 02:06:03,821
moved to Cumbria in the
north west of England
2737
02:06:04,021 --> 02:06:08,221
and become a member of the
local district council.
2738
02:06:08,421 --> 02:06:09,261
- Fairly simple.
2739
02:06:09,262 --> 02:06:11,421
It was a committee
decision, majority decision.
2740
02:06:11,621 --> 02:06:13,821
His own group on the
establishment committee
2741
02:06:14,021 --> 02:06:16,101
agreed with the decision.
2742
02:06:16,301 --> 02:06:18,100
Councillor Hughes.
2743
02:06:18,101 --> 02:06:19,341
- Well, for Councillor
Niland's information,
2744
02:06:19,541 --> 02:06:22,221
Councillor Cook has
reconsidered his opinion
2745
02:06:22,421 --> 02:06:24,861
he ventured at that meeting.
2746
02:06:25,061 --> 02:06:26,301
I'm a Liberal Democrat,
2747
02:06:26,501 --> 02:06:29,221
I'm standing for the county
council for this seat
2748
02:06:29,421 --> 02:06:32,941
which is 400 square miles in size,
2749
02:06:33,141 --> 02:06:35,621
so it's a huge, a huge constituency,
2750
02:06:35,821 --> 02:06:38,101
and this is only one of the 84 seats.
2751
02:06:38,301 --> 02:06:39,461
- Who has
the seat at the moment?
2752
02:06:39,661 --> 02:06:42,101
- It's a conservative
councillor at the moment.
2753
02:06:42,301 --> 02:06:43,261
- Big majority?
2754
02:06:43,262 --> 02:06:44,700
- Significant.
2755
02:06:44,701 --> 02:06:46,101
There's a lot of work for me to do,
2756
02:06:46,301 --> 02:06:47,781
if not this time, maybe next time.
2757
02:06:47,981 --> 02:06:50,101
- What are
the chances this time?
2758
02:06:50,301 --> 02:06:51,421
- I'm doing my best.
2759
02:06:53,501 --> 02:06:56,501
Funnily enough, when I first came up here,
2760
02:06:56,701 --> 02:06:59,421
I was considering giving it up altogether,
2761
02:06:59,621 --> 02:07:03,261
but after only about two days,
I just got involved again,
2762
02:07:03,461 --> 02:07:07,281
so maybe it's impossible
to give up politics.
2763
02:07:07,581 --> 02:07:09,501
- I have a great deal of respect
for the Liberal Democrats,
2764
02:07:09,701 --> 02:07:11,501
but I think that I won't
vote for them this time
2765
02:07:11,701 --> 02:07:13,141
because I'll vote for Mr. McClain.
2766
02:07:13,341 --> 02:07:16,581
And in particular, he's keen
on to preserve our way of life
2767
02:07:16,781 --> 02:07:18,581
in the country with
hunting, in particular.
2768
02:07:18,781 --> 02:07:20,101
- Well, it's gonna very disadvantage us
2769
02:07:20,301 --> 02:07:22,101
because we have changed our farming policy
2770
02:07:22,301 --> 02:07:24,221
since foot and mouth or
any type of dairy cows.
2771
02:07:24,421 --> 02:07:25,821
- Certainly more people vote,
2772
02:07:26,021 --> 02:07:28,381
perhaps they see the impact
on their lives more starkly
2773
02:07:28,581 --> 02:07:29,981
than people do in the city.
2774
02:07:30,181 --> 02:07:31,821
I found in London, many parts of London,
2775
02:07:32,021 --> 02:07:34,981
there was a huge apathy because it seemed,
2776
02:07:35,181 --> 02:07:36,101
like they used to say,
2777
02:07:36,301 --> 02:07:37,261
"It doesn't matter who you vote for,
2778
02:07:37,461 --> 02:07:40,061
"the government always gets in."
2779
02:07:40,261 --> 02:07:41,661
- When I saw
you seven years ago,
2780
02:07:41,861 --> 02:07:45,541
you seemed content, happy in
London, so why the change?
2781
02:07:45,741 --> 02:07:47,981
- I neither felt that I was satisfying
2782
02:07:48,181 --> 02:07:49,421
the community around me,
2783
02:07:49,621 --> 02:07:52,181
nor did I feel I was satisfying myself,
2784
02:07:52,381 --> 02:07:55,221
and that was obviously
not an ideal situation.
2785
02:07:55,421 --> 02:07:57,821
- At 42, when
Neil first arrived in London
2786
02:07:58,021 --> 02:08:01,141
from the Shetland Islands,
he lodged with Bruce.
2787
02:08:01,341 --> 02:08:02,501
- He was a model host,
2788
02:08:02,701 --> 02:08:05,101
although he did always insist on measuring
2789
02:08:05,301 --> 02:08:07,181
the amount of bathwater
that was in the bath,
2790
02:08:07,381 --> 02:08:09,621
and I am not quite sure why that was.
2791
02:08:09,821 --> 02:08:12,341
- He'd find the fridge a bit
noisy, so he would turn it off,
2792
02:08:12,541 --> 02:08:15,141
or if I had to Hoover, he'd
walk round the block or...
2793
02:08:15,341 --> 02:08:19,381
- No, I accept that I wasn't
the model lodger in every way
2794
02:08:19,581 --> 02:08:21,741
and, however, that only emphasises
2795
02:08:21,941 --> 02:08:22,582
how patient you actually were.
2796
02:08:22,782 --> 02:08:24,260
- No.
2797
02:08:24,261 --> 02:08:26,181
- I've had little contact with Bruce.
2798
02:08:26,381 --> 02:08:28,381
We've exchanged one or two letters,
2799
02:08:28,581 --> 02:08:32,101
but maybe ours was a
friendship which flourished
2800
02:08:32,301 --> 02:08:33,661
and it was a genuine friendship
2801
02:08:33,861 --> 02:08:37,381
in the circumstances in which
we found ourselves in London.
2802
02:08:37,581 --> 02:08:38,861
- I think that's what happens in life,
2803
02:08:39,061 --> 02:08:40,421
that people you're close to,
2804
02:08:40,621 --> 02:08:42,941
and then circumstances drift you apart,
2805
02:08:43,141 --> 02:08:44,741
and you find other people,
2806
02:08:44,941 --> 02:08:48,501
and you wonder now and again
what's happening to them
2807
02:08:48,701 --> 02:08:53,521
and hope they're all right, but
that's what happens in life.
2808
02:08:54,861 --> 02:08:56,821
- In the winter, if you
lived in the country,
2809
02:08:57,021 --> 02:08:58,261
well, it was just all wet,
2810
02:08:58,461 --> 02:09:02,481
and there wouldn't be
anything for miles around.
2811
02:09:03,701 --> 02:09:08,141
I feel, especially sometimes
when I'm on my own,
2812
02:09:08,341 --> 02:09:12,641
that I'm losing touch with
the way other people live.
2813
02:09:13,421 --> 02:09:16,881
- Do you
worry about your sanity?
2814
02:09:19,741 --> 02:09:22,901
- Other people sometimes worry about it.
2815
02:09:23,101 --> 02:09:24,101
- Like who?
2816
02:09:28,861 --> 02:09:32,141
- As I said, I sometimes can be found
2817
02:09:32,341 --> 02:09:35,981
behaving in an erratic fashion.
2818
02:09:36,181 --> 02:09:38,941
Sometimes, I get very
frustrated, very angry
2819
02:09:39,141 --> 02:09:40,061
for no apparent reason,
2820
02:09:40,261 --> 02:09:41,741
for a reason which won't be apparent
2821
02:09:41,941 --> 02:09:43,821
to other people around me.
2822
02:09:44,021 --> 02:09:45,821
- Do you ever
think you're going mad?
2823
02:09:46,021 --> 02:09:49,041
- I don't think it, I know it.
2824
02:09:53,781 --> 02:09:57,481
We're not allowed to
use the word mad but...
2825
02:09:58,461 --> 02:10:01,141
I think most people are mad here, really.
2826
02:10:01,341 --> 02:10:03,140
- How's your health?
2827
02:10:03,141 --> 02:10:04,301
- It's probably very good at the moment,
2828
02:10:04,501 --> 02:10:06,781
and living in this rural setting
2829
02:10:06,981 --> 02:10:09,541
is obviously healthier than
living in the middle of a city.
2830
02:10:09,741 --> 02:10:12,481
There is less stress.
2831
02:10:15,141 --> 02:10:18,501
I ended up with a former council flat,
2832
02:10:18,701 --> 02:10:21,501
which is nothing luxurious,
but I was lucky to get it,
2833
02:10:21,701 --> 02:10:25,901
and as soon as I could see
the view out of my window,
2834
02:10:26,101 --> 02:10:29,061
across the stream and trees and
the hills in the background,
2835
02:10:29,261 --> 02:10:33,001
I knew I was in the right place.
2836
02:10:33,501 --> 02:10:35,181
I know that many people
2837
02:10:35,381 --> 02:10:39,221
say they feel closer to
God in the countryside.
2838
02:10:39,421 --> 02:10:41,221
I wouldn't wanna be simplistic about it,
2839
02:10:41,421 --> 02:10:46,621
but because one is much
closer to natural life,
2840
02:10:46,821 --> 02:10:50,141
one's therefore much closer
to the springs of life.
2841
02:10:50,341 --> 02:10:51,981
Yes, I'd say I believed in God.
2842
02:10:52,181 --> 02:10:53,501
- Are you religious?
2843
02:10:54,781 --> 02:10:57,901
- Well, I go to church
with me parents on Sundays.
2844
02:10:58,101 --> 02:11:00,661
I don't know even now whether
I do believe in God or not.
2845
02:11:00,861 --> 02:11:02,181
I've thought an awful
lot about it, actually,
2846
02:11:02,381 --> 02:11:04,501
and I still don't know.
2847
02:11:04,701 --> 02:11:07,501
- How has he been treating you?
2848
02:11:07,701 --> 02:11:09,781
- Well, I said to somebody last week
2849
02:11:09,981 --> 02:11:12,861
that I preferred the Old
Testament to the New Testament,
2850
02:11:13,061 --> 02:11:15,221
because in the Old Testament,
2851
02:11:15,421 --> 02:11:18,261
God is very unpredictable,
2852
02:11:18,461 --> 02:11:23,621
and that's, I think, how
I see him in my life.
2853
02:11:23,821 --> 02:11:26,580
♪ My Jesus ♪
2854
02:11:26,581 --> 02:11:28,660
♪ My saviour ♪
2855
02:11:28,661 --> 02:11:32,181
♪ Lord, there is none like you ♪
2856
02:11:32,381 --> 02:11:35,381
♪ Tower of refuge and strength ♪
2857
02:11:35,581 --> 02:11:38,341
- I bring Jim and Ann
2858
02:11:38,541 --> 02:11:42,301
and Bruce and Julia and...
2859
02:11:42,501 --> 02:11:43,301
- Doreen.
2860
02:11:43,302 --> 02:11:44,661
- And Doreen as well and also.
2861
02:11:44,861 --> 02:11:48,421
I was first a lay reader in London.
2862
02:11:48,621 --> 02:11:50,661
After completing a little more training,
2863
02:11:50,861 --> 02:11:54,061
I was re-licensed by
the bishop of Carlisle.
2864
02:11:54,261 --> 02:11:56,781
Nature's lovely, nature's
made by God, but it's lovely.
2865
02:11:56,981 --> 02:11:59,301
Gives me the peace of mind to accept
2866
02:11:59,501 --> 02:12:02,581
when things don't go the way they want to.
2867
02:12:02,781 --> 02:12:05,141
Politics can be a very bruising game.
2868
02:12:05,341 --> 02:12:07,861
I will maintain my faith, I
will continue to trust in God.
2869
02:12:08,061 --> 02:12:09,540
- Yes.
2870
02:12:09,541 --> 02:12:12,581
- I'm absolutely sure that my faith
2871
02:12:12,781 --> 02:12:16,181
has helped me through
these difficult times.
2872
02:12:16,381 --> 02:12:17,741
- Would you
ever see having a career
2873
02:12:17,941 --> 02:12:19,020
in the church?
2874
02:12:19,021 --> 02:12:20,781
- While I have a dedication to the church,
2875
02:12:20,981 --> 02:12:21,742
I haven't experienced
2876
02:12:21,942 --> 02:12:24,541
what I'd call a calling
into the priesthood
2877
02:12:24,741 --> 02:12:26,741
or anything of that kind,
2878
02:12:26,941 --> 02:12:29,701
so the answer is no at the moment.
2879
02:12:29,901 --> 02:12:32,141
When I grow up, I wanna be an astronaut,
2880
02:12:32,341 --> 02:12:34,221
but if I can't be an astronaut,
2881
02:12:34,421 --> 02:12:37,421
I think I'll be a coach driver.
2882
02:12:37,621 --> 02:12:39,701
If the state didn't give us any money,
2883
02:12:39,901 --> 02:12:41,581
it would probably just mean crime,
2884
02:12:41,781 --> 02:12:46,161
and I am glad I didn't have
to steal to keep myself alive.
2885
02:12:49,341 --> 02:12:50,741
- Neil spends one day a week
2886
02:12:50,941 --> 02:12:52,661
doing voluntary work for Oxfam.
2887
02:12:52,861 --> 02:12:55,661
- Bernard, can you tell me
why people keep putting non.
2888
02:12:55,861 --> 02:12:57,501
I enjoy doing this, it's relaxing.
2889
02:12:57,701 --> 02:13:02,241
I love books, and I enjoy
the company here as well.
2890
02:13:03,101 --> 02:13:05,621
I'd much rather have a full-time
job where I was being paid,
2891
02:13:05,821 --> 02:13:08,221
but because of the council work I do,
2892
02:13:08,421 --> 02:13:10,941
I really want a job in the rest of my time
2893
02:13:11,141 --> 02:13:12,421
that isn't too stressful.
2894
02:13:12,621 --> 02:13:14,181
Well, these are all 6.99 new,
2895
02:13:14,381 --> 02:13:16,181
so I am putting them in at 1.99.
2896
02:13:16,381 --> 02:13:19,141
I get just over 200
pound a month allowance
2897
02:13:19,341 --> 02:13:20,741
for being a councillor.
2898
02:13:20,941 --> 02:13:22,861
On top of that, I get nine pound a week
2899
02:13:23,061 --> 02:13:24,541
Jobseeker's Allowance,
2900
02:13:24,741 --> 02:13:26,941
and because I am entitled to
the Jobseeker's Allowance,
2901
02:13:27,141 --> 02:13:30,981
I get my housing benefits
as well, which pays my rent.
2902
02:13:31,181 --> 02:13:33,461
I did some teaching of French
2903
02:13:33,661 --> 02:13:35,021
to young children last year for a while,
2904
02:13:35,221 --> 02:13:37,501
and that was very useful
income while I did it.
2905
02:13:37,701 --> 02:13:43,341
When I go home, I come in, and
mummy gives me a cup of tea.
2906
02:13:43,541 --> 02:13:45,621
I don't think I was really taught
2907
02:13:45,821 --> 02:13:48,661
any sort of policy of
living at all by my parents.
2908
02:13:48,861 --> 02:13:50,821
This is probably the biggest mistake.
2909
02:13:51,021 --> 02:13:52,981
I was just left to fend
for myself in a world
2910
02:13:53,181 --> 02:13:55,741
which they seem completely oblivious of.
2911
02:13:55,941 --> 02:13:59,201
What I'd like most of all would be,
2912
02:14:00,101 --> 02:14:03,421
would be to be able to do
something for my parents
2913
02:14:03,621 --> 02:14:10,121
when they're older, to be there
when the time's necessary.
2914
02:14:11,621 --> 02:14:15,421
Well, my father died five years ago,
2915
02:14:15,621 --> 02:14:17,060
I do feel, however,
2916
02:14:17,061 --> 02:14:20,661
that I'm a little nearer
to my mother since then,
2917
02:14:20,861 --> 02:14:23,741
but both geographically
and possibly emotionally,
2918
02:14:23,941 --> 02:14:25,501
it's never been an easy relationship,
2919
02:14:25,701 --> 02:14:28,901
and I am not claiming that
everything is healed now
2920
02:14:29,101 --> 02:14:33,141
but I feel I can speak to my mother.
2921
02:14:33,341 --> 02:14:36,441
- Do you miss your dad?
2922
02:14:36,781 --> 02:14:39,581
- I had a great
relationship with my father
2923
02:14:39,781 --> 02:14:43,081
when I was much younger.
2924
02:14:43,461 --> 02:14:48,921
My relationship with him did
deteriorate as I got older.
2925
02:14:49,181 --> 02:14:51,941
I sometimes felt that he
made the wrong decision
2926
02:14:52,141 --> 02:14:54,621
in advice he'd given
me or things he'd done
2927
02:14:54,821 --> 02:14:58,061
but then, obviously, he
had his own life to lead
2928
02:14:58,261 --> 02:15:00,461
and just a few months before he died,
2929
02:15:00,661 --> 02:15:02,381
we went together to a cricket match.
2930
02:15:02,581 --> 02:15:05,261
Well, we had what I knew would probably
2931
02:15:05,461 --> 02:15:06,941
be the last long talk we would have
2932
02:15:07,141 --> 02:15:09,381
because he was dying at the time then,
2933
02:15:09,581 --> 02:15:11,581
and I felt that we were both relaxed
2934
02:15:11,781 --> 02:15:13,661
because we were doing
something we enjoyed doing,
2935
02:15:13,861 --> 02:15:18,061
which was relaxing in the
sunshine and watching sport
2936
02:15:18,261 --> 02:15:21,701
so I felt that some way of
some bridging of the gap
2937
02:15:21,901 --> 02:15:23,901
did take place that day.
2938
02:15:24,101 --> 02:15:27,821
When I get married, I don't
want to have any children,
2939
02:15:28,021 --> 02:15:31,821
because they are always
doing naughty things
2940
02:15:32,021 --> 02:15:35,221
and making the whole house untidy.
2941
02:15:35,421 --> 02:15:40,481
I always told myself that I
would never have children.
2942
02:15:41,741 --> 02:15:43,180
- Why?
2943
02:15:43,181 --> 02:15:46,101
Because, because well,
2944
02:15:46,301 --> 02:15:50,221
because children inherit
something from their parents,
2945
02:15:50,421 --> 02:15:54,061
and even if my wife were
the most high-spirited
2946
02:15:54,261 --> 02:15:57,101
and ordinary and normal of people,
2947
02:15:57,301 --> 02:15:59,581
the child would still
stand a very fair chance
2948
02:15:59,781 --> 02:16:04,261
of being not totally full of happiness
2949
02:16:04,461 --> 02:16:08,661
because of what he or she
will have inherited from me.
2950
02:16:08,861 --> 02:16:09,941
No, I've never married
2951
02:16:10,141 --> 02:16:14,861
and I don't have a girlfriend
at the moment, and I've,
2952
02:16:15,061 --> 02:16:16,541
it's one of the regrets
of my life, actually,
2953
02:16:16,741 --> 02:16:20,581
that I've not met
somebody of the other sex
2954
02:16:20,781 --> 02:16:25,701
I thought I could have a more
permanent relationship with,
2955
02:16:25,901 --> 02:16:32,321
but I'm probably not the easiest
of people to get on with.
2956
02:16:32,621 --> 02:16:35,421
I did have one girlfriend
for close on two years,
2957
02:16:35,621 --> 02:16:38,341
so maybe I'm not as completely
hopeless a character
2958
02:16:38,541 --> 02:16:41,901
as might appear to be the case.
2959
02:16:42,101 --> 02:16:44,461
- Do you miss a physical side,
2960
02:16:44,661 --> 02:16:46,221
a sexual side in your life?
2961
02:16:46,421 --> 02:16:49,021
- Well, I am a physical person,
2962
02:16:49,221 --> 02:16:51,221
so I imagine I could be happy
2963
02:16:51,421 --> 02:16:55,261
in a lasting relationship with somebody
2964
02:16:55,461 --> 02:16:58,301
but you have to make do with the reality,
2965
02:16:58,501 --> 02:17:00,581
and there are many things
that might have happened
2966
02:17:00,781 --> 02:17:02,581
in my life that haven't happened,
2967
02:17:02,781 --> 02:17:06,861
and there is little
point in being regretful
2968
02:17:07,061 --> 02:17:11,121
and angry about that.
2969
02:17:11,341 --> 02:17:12,821
- You seem to
have such much stronger
2970
02:17:13,021 --> 02:17:16,701
sense of purpose to your
life than you've had before.
2971
02:17:16,901 --> 02:17:21,061
- I see that life comes
once, and it's quite short,
2972
02:17:21,261 --> 02:17:23,661
and you have to appreciate
what's good in it,
2973
02:17:23,861 --> 02:17:26,581
and if I could just tell a short story.
2974
02:17:26,781 --> 02:17:29,701
I was just sunbathing and a butterfly
2975
02:17:29,901 --> 02:17:31,141
landed quite close to me,
2976
02:17:31,341 --> 02:17:33,461
beautiful wings, deep red colours
2977
02:17:33,661 --> 02:17:35,581
and white sort of circles on them
2978
02:17:35,781 --> 02:17:39,821
and these creatures don't last very long
2979
02:17:40,021 --> 02:17:41,901
but it landed very close to me.
2980
02:17:42,101 --> 02:17:43,741
It didn't seem frightened.
2981
02:17:43,941 --> 02:17:45,381
And it just seemed to delight
2982
02:17:45,581 --> 02:17:47,501
in opening and closing its wings
2983
02:17:47,701 --> 02:17:50,661
and just actually being beautiful
for that period of time,
2984
02:17:50,861 --> 02:17:53,341
enjoying the sunshine, and perhaps,
2985
02:17:53,541 --> 02:17:55,621
there isn't actually any
more to life than that
2986
02:17:55,821 --> 02:17:57,381
than just being what you are,
2987
02:17:57,581 --> 02:18:00,581
realising that life goes on all around,
2988
02:18:00,781 --> 02:18:02,941
and there are millions
of other living creatures
2989
02:18:03,141 --> 02:18:07,001
who all have to find their paths as well.
2990
02:18:11,581 --> 02:18:12,661
- Whee!
2991
02:18:15,381 --> 02:18:18,901
- At the end of their
very special day in London,
2992
02:18:19,101 --> 02:18:21,981
after their trip to the zoo and the party,
2993
02:18:22,181 --> 02:18:24,981
we took our children to
an adventure playground
2994
02:18:25,181 --> 02:18:29,181
where they could do just what they liked.
2995
02:18:29,381 --> 02:18:34,361
Those from the children's home
set about building a house.
2996
02:18:44,501 --> 02:18:45,501
There's Nicholas.
2997
02:18:52,141 --> 02:18:54,501
And Tony.
2998
02:18:59,261 --> 02:19:00,261
Andrew.
2999
02:19:04,181 --> 02:19:05,181
John.
3000
02:19:10,581 --> 02:19:11,581
And Bruce.
3001
02:19:18,541 --> 02:19:19,541
Suzie.
3002
02:19:25,341 --> 02:19:28,201
Jackie and her friends.
3003
02:19:33,301 --> 02:19:35,661
Give me a child until he is seven
3004
02:19:35,861 --> 02:19:39,001
and I will give you the man.
3005
02:19:46,781 --> 02:19:51,161
This has been a glimpse
of Britain's future.
229113
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