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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
"THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW"!
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[ SPEAKING IN TONGUES ]
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ALL RIGHT!
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TONIGHT ON THE SHOW, WE GOT
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SHERMAN HEMSLEY!
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WE GOT LEONA HELMSLEY!
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WE GOT LEONA LEWIS!
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WE GOT LEWIS BLACK!
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WE GOT JACK BLACK!
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FRANK BLACK! FRANK OCEAN!
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OCEAN PHILLIPS! PHILIP RIVERS!
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RIVERS CUOMO! MARIO CUOMO!
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MARIO BATALI!
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ANYONE YOU [BLEEP] WANT --
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AH [BLEEP]
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C'EST LA VIE.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU KNOW
HIM AS KATY PERRY'S HUSBAND --
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MR. RUSSELL BRAND!
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HELLO, ERIC!
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HOW ARE YOU, BROTHER?
OKAY.
FIRST, THE REAL QUESTION I WANT
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TO ASK YOU.
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"SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE" --
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LITTLE SCARY HOSTING THAT?
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I STARTED GETTING TRULY
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CAMERA-SHY.
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YEAH, WE ALL GO THROUGH IT.
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STAGE FRIGHT.
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I'M GONNA COOK THAT FOR YOU.
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OH, MAN.
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[ Chuckling ] MINUS ONE.
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YOU HAVE SEX WITH A LOT OF
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WOMEN.
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ARE YOU AFRAID OF DISEASES?
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WELL, NOT WHEN YOU ALREADY
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HAVE THEM.
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I DON'T THINK RUSSELL BRAND
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IS HANDLING SUCCESS WELL.
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UH, WHAT WAS THE PROCESS FOR
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"FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL"?
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I HEARD THAT WAS, LIKE, YOUR BIG
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FIRST BREAK.
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♪ IRENE, GOOD NI-I-I-GHT ♪
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♪ GOOD NIGHT, IRENE, GOOD NIGHT,
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IRENE ♪
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HEY, WHAT ARE YOU EATING,
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MAN?
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STRAWBERRIES AND HAM.
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IT'S MY FAVORITE COMBINATION OF
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FOODS.
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I'M GOING TO HEAVEN.
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WELL, THAT'S FANTASTIC.
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WELL, THANK YOU SO MUCH,
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RUSSELL, FOR COMING IN.
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THANKS!
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RUSSELL BRAND, EVERYBODY.
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RUSSELL.
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UM, MY -- MY CHEEK SHOW IS
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GETTING...VERY, VERY POPULAR...
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ON THE SIDEWALK.
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TAKE CARE, RUSSELL.
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COME BACK SOON!
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BYE! HAVE ME AGAIN!
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HOW DO YOU FEEL RIGHT NOW?
I FEEL PRETTY GOOD.
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I FEEL KIND OF HOW I FELT
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WHEN I WAS IN BLOOMINGTON,
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INDIANA, AND I WENT TO THE MOVIE
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THEATER AND I WAS WATCHING
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"LIMITLESS," AND THEN, 20
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MINUTES IN, THE FILM BURNED, AND
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I WASN'T ABLE TO SEE THE REST OF
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THE MOVIE.
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THAT'S HOW I FEEL NOW.
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HMM.
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I HADN'T REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT
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LIKE THAT.
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BAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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IT'S THE HALFWAY POINT OF THE
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SHOW!
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AAAAAAAAAAAH!
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IT'S TIME FOR SOME WACKY
NEWSPAPER ARTICLES.
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OKAY, WHAT DO WE GOT?
"KILLER'S MAPS LEADS TO VICTIMS'
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REMAINS."
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WHAT, ARE WE ON A SCAVENGER
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HUNT, FOLKS?
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IT'S A DARK STORY, MAN.
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YOU -- I DON'T KNOW IF YOU
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SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT LIKE THAT.
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LOOK AT THIS ONE.
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"PASTOR'S DAUGHTER STRUCK AS GUN
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ACCIDENTLY GOES OFF."
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HEY, GUYS, AT LEAST WE CAN LEAVE
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CHURCH A LITTLE EARLY AND CATCH
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THE REST OF THE FOOTBALL GAME.
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AM I RIGHT, FELLAS?
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I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE BEING
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ASSOCIATED WITH THIS.
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UH...WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
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BRITTA-BRUDDA-BROODA
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BRITTA-BRUDDA-BROODA.
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CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD OF IT.
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IT'S LIKE, HIRE A PROOFREADER,
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GUYS.
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COME ON.
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LET'S BE A LITTLE PROFESSIONAL.
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[ Laughing ] JUST RIFFING.
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WE SHOULD BE WRITING INSTEAD
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OF RIFFING.
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THAT WAS A MISSTEP.
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YOU THINK SO?
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ALL OF IT.
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WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
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THIS IS PRETTY LOWBROW.
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OH, IS THAT WHAT IT WAS?
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YEAH.
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HEY, REMEMBER WHEN I DID
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THOSE JOKES BEFORE?
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IT WAS TIGHT, RIGHT?
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NAH, I JUST TOLD YOU THAT I
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DIDN'T LIKE THAT.
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OH [BLEEP]
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, FORMER
LOS ANGELES LAKER MR. RICK FOX!
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ALL RIGHT!
OH-HOO-HOO!
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THE [BLEEP] YOU DOING, MAN?
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N-NOTHING.
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YO, YOU REMEMBER
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DENNIS RODMAN?
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AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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YO, THIS IS AWESOME.
WHAT, UH...
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WHAT'S HAPPENING?
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THIS DUDE IS CRUSHING IT.
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UH, I'M ERIC.
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TELL ME YOUR NAME ONE MORE TIME.
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HANNIBAL.
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YO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?
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I'M ON A TV SHOW?
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OH, YEAH.
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YOU'VE CONTRACTED MEMENTO...
OF THE WHACK-FONT VARIETY.
GOT TO GET THAT [BLEEP] CHECKED
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OUT.
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WHAT'S NEXT ON THE SHOW?
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WHAT'S NEXT ON THE [BLEEP]
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SHOW?!
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TELL ME!
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AAAAH!
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AAH!
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AMI.
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[ SPEAKING FRENCH ]
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C'EST LA VIE!
SUR LA TABLE! C'EST LA VIE!
IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN, DUDE.
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YOU GOT TO GO. GO!
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SUR LA TABLE.
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SUR LA TABLE!
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NO!
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DUDE.
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C'EST LA VIE!
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, YOU'VE
SEEN HER ON "TERMINATOR 3,"
"THE L WORD," AND "BURN NOTICE."
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PERFORMING STAND-UP COMEDY FOR
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US TONIGHT, ACTION STAR
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KRISTANNA LOKEN, EVERYBODY!
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HERE'S TO HAVING ANAL SEX.
STICK IT WHERE SHE LEAST
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EXPECTS.
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[BLEEP] HER SO HARD, MAKE HER
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BUTT CHEEKS FLEX.
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GRAB HER SISTER, TELL HER SHE'S
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NEXT.
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THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH FOR YOUR
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SUPPORT.
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AAAAAAAAAH!
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LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE
WELCOME OUR MUSICAL GUESTS --
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AIR-GUITAR CHAMPIONS JEFF ALLIN
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AND VERNON QUARTEHL, EVERYBODY!
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00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,476
10914
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