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1
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:07,132
[upbeat music]
2
00:00:07,132 --> 00:00:09,926
♪ I got friends,
we run it hard ♪
3
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:10,927
Top, Zara.
4
00:00:10,927 --> 00:00:13,430
Skirt is Miu Miu.
Necklace?
5
00:00:13,430 --> 00:00:16,766
Well, it is a long story
involving Gigi Hadid
6
00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:17,934
and a Burger King.
- [groans]
7
00:00:17,934 --> 00:00:20,270
Oh, yeah!
Don't stop!
8
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,105
Don't stop.
- Oh, come on.
9
00:00:22,105 --> 00:00:24,232
I mean, no one needs
to groan like that.
10
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:26,067
Leight,
I'm just gonna say it,
11
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,444
this video you're making
is embarrassing,
12
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:28,778
not just for you
but for all of us.
13
00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:30,238
Um, excuse me.
14
00:00:30,238 --> 00:00:31,448
Fit vids are a vital part
15
00:00:31,448 --> 00:00:32,949
of the Kappa rush process.
16
00:00:32,949 --> 00:00:35,410
If I can't come up
with fun and flirty content,
17
00:00:35,410 --> 00:00:36,786
I might as well be a Pi Phi.
18
00:00:36,786 --> 00:00:37,787
Is that a bad thing?
19
00:00:37,787 --> 00:00:39,289
I'd rather drown myself.
20
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,790
Oh, okay.
I'll text Jackson.
21
00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:42,625
Ooh, ask him
what position he was doing.
22
00:00:42,625 --> 00:00:44,002
It sounded like
reverse-cat-dog.
23
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,628
What the hell
is reverse-cat-dog?
24
00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,547
Whitney, you'd love it.
I'll send you a link.
25
00:00:47,547 --> 00:00:49,758
[descending tone]
- Here, you're on fan duty now.
26
00:00:49,758 --> 00:00:51,676
- Wait, where are you going?
- I'm off to the loan office
27
00:00:51,676 --> 00:00:53,428
to tell them
I lost my co-signer.
28
00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:54,637
- Oof.
- Sorry, girl.
29
00:00:54,637 --> 00:00:55,722
But I'm feeling hopeful.
30
00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:56,806
I even found a heads-up penny
31
00:00:56,806 --> 00:00:57,891
on the street today.
32
00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,058
It was next to a dead pigeon,
33
00:00:59,058 --> 00:01:00,643
but still...
- All right.
34
00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:02,145
Well, it looks like
our neighbors got the message,
35
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,813
so let's go, ladies.
[claps]
36
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,732
Good luck.
[door opens, closes]
37
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,817
- Top, Zara. Skirt--
- Oh, my God!
38
00:01:07,817 --> 00:01:09,694
It's all you!
- Seriously?
39
00:01:09,694 --> 00:01:11,404
Hey, guys,
Bela here.
40
00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:12,864
Big fan of your work.
41
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,282
- Should we move?
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
42
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,243
♪ You want this?
You like that? ♪
43
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,579
♪ Quit playin',
come get some ♪
44
00:01:19,579 --> 00:01:22,290
♪ I take cards,
I take cash ♪
45
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:24,417
♪ Quit playin',
come get some ♪
46
00:01:24,417 --> 00:01:25,543
♪ You got chips? ♪
47
00:01:25,543 --> 00:01:27,003
♪ Run that ♪
48
00:01:27,003 --> 00:01:28,838
Bela,
is your resistance at a zero?
49
00:01:28,838 --> 00:01:30,298
I'm not here to work out.
50
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,966
I'm here to look
at the crew team lift.
51
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:33,635
They're so shredded and tall.
52
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,471
It's like looking at a bunch
of hot, muscly skyscrapers.
53
00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,889
[chuckles] Hey.
54
00:01:37,889 --> 00:01:39,766
So are you still taking
that biochem class?
55
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:42,519
Yeah.
Ugh, kill me. Why?
56
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,521
Because you and I
are about to do
57
00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,065
some bonding--
ionic bonding.
58
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,608
What's up, classmate?
59
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,109
[giggles]
- Why are you taking biochem?
60
00:01:50,109 --> 00:01:52,028
It's one of the hardest classes
on campus.
61
00:01:52,028 --> 00:01:53,196
I'm literally only taking it
62
00:01:53,196 --> 00:01:54,906
'cause my parents
are making me.
63
00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,783
I want to challenge myself.
64
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,409
Expand my interests.
See what I'm good at.
65
00:01:58,409 --> 00:02:00,829
Stop.
No more nerdy science talk.
66
00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:02,497
The crew team is coming.
Look hot. Stick your tits out.
67
00:02:02,497 --> 00:02:05,708
[indistinct chatter]
68
00:02:05,708 --> 00:02:08,711
[sensual music]
69
00:02:08,711 --> 00:02:13,216
♪ ♪
70
00:02:13,216 --> 00:02:15,593
Sup?
Saw you watching us.
71
00:02:15,593 --> 00:02:18,221
Us meaning--
are you with the crew team?
72
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,473
But aren't you, like, short?
73
00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:22,725
Yeah.
I'm the coxswain.
74
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,562
I make sure
the boat finishes first.
75
00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,021
I could do the same for you.
76
00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:29,858
See you around.
77
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,487
[scoffs]
Holy shit.
78
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:35,655
♪ Ooh, I like it, though ♪
79
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,824
♪ That's how like it ♪
80
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:40,076
♪ That's how I like it ♪
81
00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:41,452
At first,
I was disappointed.
82
00:02:41,452 --> 00:02:43,037
But then I thought,
don't stress.
83
00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,831
You and Taylor
will put your heads together,
84
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,374
brainstorm other options.
85
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:49,127
Oh, Kimberly,
I love a brainstorm.
86
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:51,588
You should see
my wedding Pinterest board.
87
00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:55,174
That said, uh, the only thing
this office can offer you
88
00:02:55,174 --> 00:02:56,259
is a loan.
89
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:57,510
Right.
90
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,304
Are there any grants
I can apply for?
91
00:02:59,304 --> 00:03:00,597
Or how long
would I have to serve
92
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,015
in the military
to pay for this?
93
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:04,309
I can do a push-up
if I'm on my knees.
94
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:06,019
- You want my honest advice?
- Yes.
95
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,771
Just tell me what to do,
and I will do it.
96
00:03:08,771 --> 00:03:11,399
Get the best grades you can.
97
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,734
It'll maximize your options
98
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:14,527
for new schools
you can transfer to.
99
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:17,530
[melancholy pop music]
100
00:03:17,530 --> 00:03:23,870
♪ ♪
101
00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:38,718
[phone chiming]
102
00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:42,138
Hey, could you stop
reading my phone screen?
103
00:03:42,138 --> 00:03:43,640
We're roommates.
It's my right.
104
00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:45,141
Yeah, I'm kind of
with Bela on this one.
105
00:03:45,141 --> 00:03:47,310
Spill it.
- Your phone is blowing up
106
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,728
and I know
they're from dating apps.
107
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,771
[phone chimes]
108
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:51,272
Is it?
109
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:52,273
Okay, it is.
110
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:53,816
- Yes!
- Wow.
111
00:03:53,816 --> 00:03:55,818
I finally put a face pic up
on my profile.
112
00:03:55,818 --> 00:03:58,988
And it seems that I have face
that people like to message.
113
00:03:58,988 --> 00:04:01,407
Oh. How many girls
are you talking to?
114
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:04,410
I don't know, like...30.
115
00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:05,787
- What?
- Damn, Leight.
116
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,497
That's, like,
two basketball teams.
117
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,831
Look, I've lived
in the closet
118
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,583
for, like, my entire life.
119
00:04:10,583 --> 00:04:12,168
I could never
just approach someone
120
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,544
out in the open
as myself,
121
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:15,838
so now that I'm out,
122
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,340
it's my turn
to catch up.
123
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:18,925
You never need
to justify that to us.
124
00:04:18,925 --> 00:04:20,677
Agreed.
I'd never slut-shame you.
125
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:23,596
In fact, I'd only shame you
for not being enough of a slut.
126
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:25,348
Okay.
Calc is this way.
127
00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:27,058
I'm gonna see you guys later.
128
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,894
Hey, get some hottie's number
while you're in there.
129
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:33,147
♪ Yeah, I wanted everyone
to know about us ♪
130
00:04:33,147 --> 00:04:35,233
♪ ♪
131
00:04:35,233 --> 00:04:36,734
♪ All mine ♪
132
00:04:36,734 --> 00:04:38,361
♪ I remember
you were all mine ♪
133
00:04:38,361 --> 00:04:40,780
♪ How I looked better
back then ♪
134
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,199
♪ When I was with you ♪
135
00:04:43,199 --> 00:04:44,659
♪ ♪
136
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:47,412
♪ It doesn't matter
how hard I try ♪
137
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:49,914
♪ I can't forget
those nights ♪
138
00:04:49,914 --> 00:04:52,542
♪ When I was with you ♪
139
00:04:52,542 --> 00:04:55,211
♪ I'm so,
I'm so good ♪
140
00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:58,715
Biochemistry can be divided
into three fields:
141
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,049
structural biology,
142
00:05:00,049 --> 00:05:02,677
enzymology,
and metabolism.
143
00:05:02,677 --> 00:05:04,887
- Hey, take my picture.
- Here? Why?
144
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,055
I'm gonna send it
to my parents
145
00:05:06,055 --> 00:05:07,515
to prove I'm in this class.
146
00:05:07,515 --> 00:05:09,392
But--okay.
[camera shutter clicks]
147
00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:10,727
Dude, I'm trying to focus.
148
00:05:10,727 --> 00:05:11,978
Damn, I look good.
149
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,396
Maybe I'll send it
to that crew guy.
150
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,897
The short one from the gym?
151
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,858
He followed me.
And his profile's kind of hot.
152
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,776
I mean, look at his body.
153
00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,194
I mean,
his proportions are crazy.
154
00:05:20,194 --> 00:05:21,529
He's as tall as he is wide.
155
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,072
He's like a hot, muscly box.
156
00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:24,115
You're not wrong.
157
00:05:24,115 --> 00:05:25,074
He's like a sexy,
158
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:26,617
little mini-fridge.
159
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:27,910
Hey, can you shut up?
160
00:05:27,910 --> 00:05:30,663
I'm sorry.
Is there an issue?
161
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:33,082
I'm sorry, Professor,
but I can't hear anything
162
00:05:33,082 --> 00:05:34,417
with them talking in the back.
163
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,210
Ladies,
I advise you to focus.
164
00:05:36,210 --> 00:05:39,380
Students who fall behind
in this class rarely catch up.
165
00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:41,758
Wish we could just skip
to the end of shopping period
166
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:44,093
when half these people
drop this class.
167
00:05:44,093 --> 00:05:45,762
God,
can you believe that guy?
168
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:47,263
I know, it's like,
I'll pay attention
169
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:49,974
when the class actually starts.
170
00:05:49,974 --> 00:05:51,434
It started 30 minutes ago.
171
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:53,770
Oh, shit.
Do you have a pen?
172
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:54,896
Shut up!
173
00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:55,897
Ugh. Jeez, guys.
174
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:58,941
[mellow music]
175
00:05:58,941 --> 00:06:04,238
♪ ♪
176
00:06:07,408 --> 00:06:09,327
- Shit, sorry.
- No, it's all good.
177
00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:10,495
I think you dropped something.
178
00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,288
No.
No, I--sorry.
179
00:06:12,288 --> 00:06:14,791
It's just some random pamphlet
I picked up as a goof.
180
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:15,958
Wah.
- Whoa.
181
00:06:15,958 --> 00:06:17,126
Hey, don't litter.
- Right.
182
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:18,586
Yeah, I just had that thought.
183
00:06:18,586 --> 00:06:20,213
My name's Kimberly.
I'm your neighbor.
184
00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,632
I'm not a litterer.
- Yeah, I know who you are.
185
00:06:22,632 --> 00:06:25,343
You leave your retainer
in the bathroom sometimes.
186
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,469
Right. Yes.
187
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,471
Well, it was nice
running into you.
188
00:06:28,471 --> 00:06:29,764
And I'll see you around.
189
00:06:31,140 --> 00:06:32,892
Wait, you're not taking
Irish lit, are you?
190
00:06:32,892 --> 00:06:35,228
Yeah.
Is that surprising?
191
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,729
I'm just not used
to seeing
192
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:39,315
people who look like you
in a class like this.
193
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,901
Well, yeah, it's gonna
be really hard for me.
194
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,027
I can't read.
195
00:06:43,027 --> 00:06:45,071
Okay, very funny.
I get it.
196
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,447
This is the right building, right?
197
00:06:46,447 --> 00:06:48,157
That says literature,
doesn't it?
198
00:06:48,157 --> 00:06:49,325
Very funny.
Let's go.
199
00:06:49,325 --> 00:06:50,535
♪ ♪
200
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:52,120
♪ I was vibin' with you ♪
201
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,163
♪ Oh,
but then you came through ♪
202
00:06:54,163 --> 00:06:55,957
He wants
to call us out in class?
203
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:59,043
We should be calling him out
for being such a damn kiss-ass.
204
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,169
He was such a bio-bro.
205
00:07:00,169 --> 00:07:01,712
That guys sounds like a jerk.
206
00:07:01,712 --> 00:07:03,256
But also,
biochem is really hard.
207
00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:04,507
Are you sure
you want to take that?
208
00:07:04,507 --> 00:07:05,842
I am not some token athlete
209
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,301
who only takes easy classes.
210
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,594
- Mm...
- Okay.
211
00:07:08,594 --> 00:07:09,971
I mean, to date,
have I done exactly that?
212
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,806
Yes.
But I'm switching it up.
213
00:07:11,806 --> 00:07:13,432
[distant chatter]
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.
214
00:07:13,432 --> 00:07:15,017
Do you guys hear that?
215
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:17,520
[whispering]
Is someone else in here?
216
00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:18,896
[quirky music]
217
00:07:18,896 --> 00:07:20,898
Leighton, are you in there
with someone?
218
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:22,733
Oh, God damn it.
219
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,196
- That was fun.
- Yeah.
220
00:07:27,196 --> 00:07:28,781
I will call you later.
- Okay.
221
00:07:28,781 --> 00:07:30,908
Bye.
[door opens, closes]
222
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,494
Stop looking at me like that.
223
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:35,830
- You had a girl in there?
- The whole time?
224
00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:37,415
Okay, I am an adult woman.
225
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:38,791
I should be allowed
to bring people
226
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:40,376
back to my room
without questions.
227
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,752
Agreed.
228
00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,087
Except for the questions part.
229
00:07:43,087 --> 00:07:44,505
Did you do toy stuff?
Hand stuff?
230
00:07:44,505 --> 00:07:45,965
Did you use my bed?
Because it is
231
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:47,592
completely okay
if you did.
232
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:50,052
Okay, we're done here.
I am going to dinner.
233
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:52,513
Oh, it's build-your-own-
pasta-bowl night.
234
00:07:52,513 --> 00:07:54,724
I love building
my own pasta bowl!
235
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,058
I built wrong.
236
00:07:56,058 --> 00:07:57,894
Yeah, you used
teriyaki sauce.
237
00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,729
I saw someone do that
on the Food Network once
238
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,731
when I watched cable
at a friend's house.
239
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,107
Bela, are you still texting
240
00:08:03,107 --> 00:08:04,317
with the short guy
from the gym?
241
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,484
Wes? Yeah.
242
00:08:05,484 --> 00:08:07,153
He's a really sexy texter.
243
00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,488
He uses full sentences
with punctuation.
244
00:08:09,488 --> 00:08:11,449
It's, like, okay,
write me novel, daddy.
245
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:13,910
[phone chimes]
- Huh.
246
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,578
- What? What's wrong?
- He just wrote,
247
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,954
"Have you thought
about the upside
248
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:17,997
"of fucking a guy
249
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:19,457
two inches shorter than you?"
250
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,499
What does that mean?
251
00:08:20,499 --> 00:08:21,709
It takes less time
252
00:08:21,709 --> 00:08:23,252
for his pants
to hit the floor?
253
00:08:23,252 --> 00:08:24,420
Or maybe he's saying
you'll be less cramped
254
00:08:24,420 --> 00:08:25,963
in a twin bed.
- Wait.
255
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:27,673
Do you think he means
the height of his dick?
256
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,383
Like, where it's at?
257
00:08:29,383 --> 00:08:32,053
[chuckles]
Oh, my God, maybe.
258
00:08:32,053 --> 00:08:34,013
Hey, um, Kimberly,
you're about as tall as him.
259
00:08:34,013 --> 00:08:35,056
Stand up.
- Wait.
260
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:36,432
What do you want me to do?
261
00:08:36,432 --> 00:08:37,725
Just hold this
at your crotch like a penis.
262
00:08:37,725 --> 00:08:38,935
Oh, Bela,
I don't want to--
263
00:08:38,935 --> 00:08:39,936
Now, thrust.
264
00:08:39,936 --> 00:08:41,103
Thrust!
265
00:08:42,980 --> 00:08:44,357
He's right. Look.
266
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:46,150
Yeah, that angle is,
like, perfect.
267
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,568
- Can I stop?
- That's it.
268
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:48,986
I'm gonna start eating
in my room.
269
00:08:48,986 --> 00:08:51,155
Oh, my God.
Y'all, it's official.
270
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:52,490
I'm gonna fuck a short king.
271
00:08:52,490 --> 00:08:53,950
I also have
some exciting news.
272
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:55,451
I went to
the financial aid office today,
273
00:08:55,451 --> 00:08:56,869
and I think I've found a way
to stay at Essex.
274
00:08:56,869 --> 00:08:59,288
- Oh, my God, that's great.
- How?
275
00:08:59,288 --> 00:09:00,998
I might sell my eggs.
276
00:09:01,916 --> 00:09:03,626
Wait, Kimberly,
are you being serious?
277
00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,878
Yeah.
Turns out, I can make $80,000.
278
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:07,880
That's crazy, right?
- Well, I love this for you.
279
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:09,966
Celebrities buy smart girl eggs
all the time.
280
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,260
You could be the female half
of a famous baby.
281
00:09:12,260 --> 00:09:14,595
But isn't this,
like, a major surgery?
282
00:09:14,595 --> 00:09:15,930
Lots of people do it
all the time.
283
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:17,348
It's super common.
284
00:09:17,348 --> 00:09:19,058
Also, I might be able
to fix my problem
285
00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:20,810
with something
that's in my body.
286
00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:22,436
That seems cool
and, like, feminist.
287
00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,146
Mm, all right,
but what happens
288
00:09:24,146 --> 00:09:25,648
when 20 years from now
289
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,984
your hot personal trainer says
"I'm your son"?
290
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,819
[gasps]
Is that why he took the job?
291
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,570
Oh, my God.
You almost kissed your son.
292
00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,947
Okay,
what if this is the only way
293
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:33,990
Kimberly can stay here?
294
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,825
I mean, shouldn't she do it?
295
00:09:35,825 --> 00:09:37,743
I just think
you should do some research
296
00:09:37,743 --> 00:09:39,328
so you know
what you're getting into.
297
00:09:39,328 --> 00:09:41,330
And if you do it
and end up being the subject
298
00:09:41,330 --> 00:09:42,581
of a "New York Magazine"
article
299
00:09:42,581 --> 00:09:43,874
that gets turned into a movie,
300
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,627
I would love
to write it for you.
301
00:09:46,627 --> 00:09:48,087
♪ ♪
302
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,798
♪ I say, I say,
I say, I say ♪
303
00:09:50,798 --> 00:09:52,508
♪ I say, I say ♪
304
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,926
♪ So I say, I say ♪
305
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,553
Hey, Mom.
What a nice surprise.
306
00:09:55,553 --> 00:09:57,346
Oh, I love
hearing your voice, baby.
307
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,807
My assistant put you
on my schedule to call,
308
00:09:59,807 --> 00:10:01,559
so this is me calling.
309
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,020
You don't have to say that.
You can just call.
310
00:10:04,020 --> 00:10:06,564
[chuckles]
How's the new trimester going?
311
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,190
Great.
I'm taking a class
312
00:10:08,190 --> 00:10:10,401
I actually think you're gonna
be pretty impressed with.
313
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:12,153
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
314
00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:13,863
It's biochem.
It's super hard
315
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,740
and has one of the lowest
pass rates on campus.
316
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,617
So I was thinking--
- Well, why are you doing that?
317
00:10:18,617 --> 00:10:20,036
Uh, what?
318
00:10:20,036 --> 00:10:22,079
Don't bite off more
than you can chew.
319
00:10:22,079 --> 00:10:24,290
That's a saying for a reason.
320
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:26,042
Why does no one think
I can handle this class?
321
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,793
Do you think I'm, like,
not smart or something?
322
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,378
Of course
I think you're smart,
323
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,921
but it's not like
you're going to become
324
00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,631
a chemist or a doctor.
- How do you know?
325
00:10:32,631 --> 00:10:34,592
What if I'm, like,
secretly brilliant at science?
326
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,302
I could be the next,
like, Bill Nye.
327
00:10:36,302 --> 00:10:38,054
Honey, listen,
just take classes
328
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:39,388
that'll get you a good GPA.
329
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,015
And I'll get you hooked up somewhere.
330
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,933
You want to work for Obama?
Easy.
331
00:10:42,933 --> 00:10:44,477
I'll find you something.
332
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,562
Well, maybe I already
found something.
333
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:49,315
And maybe
I'm gonna kick its ass.
334
00:10:49,315 --> 00:10:52,026
[motivational music]
335
00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:55,446
♪ ♪
336
00:10:55,446 --> 00:10:57,573
Anyone else but Andrew?
337
00:10:57,573 --> 00:10:59,408
Anyone?
338
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,368
Whitney.
339
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,036
Trigonal planar.
340
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:03,037
Nice.
341
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:04,580
Okay, now for an easy one.
342
00:11:04,580 --> 00:11:07,124
♪ You don't know what ♪
[phone buzzes]
343
00:11:07,124 --> 00:11:10,920
♪ I am capable of ♪
344
00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,881
♪ Don't ask me to stop,
don't let it run ♪
345
00:11:13,881 --> 00:11:17,968
♪ I'm gonna get
what I deserve ♪
346
00:11:17,968 --> 00:11:20,346
♪ I'm in love with the feel ♪
[phone buzzing]
347
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:24,433
♪ I pray to be healed,
the worst is yet to come ♪
348
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:25,976
♪ ♪
349
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:30,731
♪ And I am so done
asking for permission ♪
350
00:11:30,731 --> 00:11:34,318
♪ I'm taking what's mine ♪
351
00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:38,406
♪ I am so done
asking for permission ♪
352
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:42,576
♪ A girl in my position
could conquer the world ♪
353
00:11:42,576 --> 00:11:49,417
♪ ♪
354
00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:53,045
Damn,
it's like we're a puzzle.
355
00:11:54,713 --> 00:11:57,591
Okay.
Show me you can do it.
356
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:00,970
[gasps]
357
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:01,971
[grunts]
358
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,849
♪ My child ♪
359
00:12:04,849 --> 00:12:06,475
Okay, hemoglobin. Go.
360
00:12:06,475 --> 00:12:07,977
Hemoglobin carries oxygen
361
00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:09,728
from the respiratory organs
to the rest of the body.
362
00:12:09,728 --> 00:12:12,022
Correct. You're gonna
kill this quiz tomorrow.
363
00:12:12,022 --> 00:12:14,442
I hope so. Honestly,
biochem is interesting.
364
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,569
I love knowing
why the stuff in our world
365
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:17,945
is the way it is.
366
00:12:17,945 --> 00:12:19,780
It's such a rush
to, like, learn stuff.
367
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,407
- I know, right?
- Mm-hmm.
368
00:12:21,407 --> 00:12:22,992
I always thought college
was just what you had to do
369
00:12:22,992 --> 00:12:25,619
before starting your life,
but I get it now.
370
00:12:26,620 --> 00:12:28,164
Hey, any more thoughts
on the egg stuff?
371
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,958
Lots.
I made a pros and cons list.
372
00:12:30,958 --> 00:12:33,419
Oh, wow, you really got
into the margins there, huh?
373
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,546
Yeah. I mean, I knew this
would be a difficult decision,
374
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,506
but it's really overwhelming.
375
00:12:37,506 --> 00:12:39,008
Well, it is
a really big deal.
376
00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:40,718
But I'm sure
you'll figure out what's best.
377
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,011
Thank you.
378
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:43,345
Hey,
what's with the ginger ale
379
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,763
in the pros column?
380
00:12:44,763 --> 00:12:45,931
Oh, I figure
after the surgery,
381
00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:47,016
I'll be allowed to drink a lot
382
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,684
of free hospital ginger ale.
383
00:12:48,684 --> 00:12:50,144
Oh.
384
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:52,354
I guess that shouldn't factor
into my decision.
385
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:54,899
♪ I'll hunt you down,
I'll hunt you down ♪
386
00:12:54,899 --> 00:12:56,484
♪ ♪
387
00:12:56,484 --> 00:12:58,360
Bela,
why are your pants so short?
388
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:00,196
These, uh,
cropped joggers
389
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:02,239
are the full-length pants
of the guy I've been boning.
390
00:13:02,239 --> 00:13:05,034
That's right, another perk
to fucking a short king.
391
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,702
- It's that good?
- It's everything.
392
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,412
My girl Zendaya
knows what's up.
393
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,039
Shorter guys are where it's at.
394
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,416
I am so glad you have
a nice connection with him.
395
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:13,709
No, I'm talking
about his dick.
396
00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,211
It's scientifically superior.
397
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,879
The blood flow's way more
efficient in small guys.
398
00:13:16,879 --> 00:13:18,923
That actually makes sense.
[door opens]
399
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,966
Leight, I ran into Anne
on the quad,
400
00:13:20,966 --> 00:13:22,134
and she said to say hi.
401
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,677
Oh, no.
Don't talk to Anne.
402
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:25,554
I ended things.
She won't be coming back here.
403
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:26,722
Aw, Anne was sweet.
404
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,140
I liked
that she brought cookies.
405
00:13:28,140 --> 00:13:29,975
See, I liked Claire
and her hat game.
406
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:31,560
Tough to pull off a flat brim.
407
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,479
Oh, my God.
Don't talk to Claire either.
408
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,648
I did see Claire yesterday,
and I did say hi.
409
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,025
No.
No, why would you do that?
410
00:13:38,025 --> 00:13:39,527
So you're
not dating Claire or Anne?
411
00:13:39,527 --> 00:13:40,903
I'm not dating anyone.
412
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:43,405
Sorry, it's tough to keep up.
413
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,951
Okay, I can't believe
I'm saying this, but fine.
414
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,536
I will update you
415
00:13:48,536 --> 00:13:50,371
on some details
of my recent hookups.
416
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:52,873
- Okay, whoo.
- I have been praying for this.
417
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:54,208
Yes, but pay attention
418
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,085
because
I am never doing this again.
419
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,462
Here's the lineup.
- I'm gonna start a Google Doc.
420
00:13:58,462 --> 00:13:59,630
I'm still seeing Tori.
421
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,257
Stephanie's out.
August is in.
422
00:14:01,257 --> 00:14:03,342
If Monica sends one more GIF,
she's out.
423
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:05,261
Molly's in.
Jess is out.
424
00:14:05,261 --> 00:14:07,179
Hot bangs girl
from the student center
425
00:14:07,179 --> 00:14:08,847
flossed in front of me,
so she's out.
426
00:14:08,847 --> 00:14:10,641
Which one's the one
that gave us the fancy candle
427
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:11,976
that I light
when I have dairy?
428
00:14:11,976 --> 00:14:14,353
That's Cat.
Do not let her in.
429
00:14:14,353 --> 00:14:15,604
Yes, Kimberly?
430
00:14:15,604 --> 00:14:17,356
Anne friended me
on GoodReads,
431
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:18,566
and I want to accept.
432
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:19,608
Do not accept.
433
00:14:19,608 --> 00:14:21,193
I already did.
434
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:22,194
[groans]
435
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:23,445
♪ ♪
436
00:14:23,445 --> 00:14:24,947
♪ Your nugget ♪
437
00:14:24,947 --> 00:14:27,908
♪ Baby, baby,
shake it for me ♪
438
00:14:28,993 --> 00:14:30,452
[chuckling]
439
00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:34,832
What are you writing
that's so funny?
440
00:14:34,832 --> 00:14:36,875
You really want to know?
'Cause it's about my sex life.
441
00:14:36,875 --> 00:14:38,252
You're just gonna ask me
to read it
442
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:39,837
and make it funnier anyway, so...
443
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,672
Okay, well,
I'm writing a piece
444
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,466
about how short kings
are unexpected sex gods.
445
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:47,386
Wow, I'm--I'm flattered.
Thank you.
446
00:14:47,386 --> 00:14:49,638
Oh,
I'm not talking about you.
447
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,473
Wait, do you think
you're a short king?
448
00:14:51,473 --> 00:14:53,350
I'm 5'8",
so maybe.
449
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,102
Eric, sweetie,
you're not a short king.
450
00:14:55,102 --> 00:14:57,813
You're like a nerd prince.
You're like a straight twink.
451
00:14:57,813 --> 00:15:00,941
Straight twink is definitely
not how I see myself.
452
00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,443
Short kings
are thicc and meaty.
453
00:15:02,443 --> 00:15:03,986
They're not guys who get
pushed away by the wind.
454
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,821
I got picked up
by a gust of wind one time,
455
00:15:05,821 --> 00:15:06,822
and you won't let it go.
456
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:07,990
Who's the short king?
457
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:09,491
Hold up.
Are you jealous?
458
00:15:09,491 --> 00:15:11,702
- No, I still see other people.
- Exactly.
459
00:15:11,702 --> 00:15:13,078
Also, I think
that it's not fair
460
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,413
that you can talk
about my body shape
461
00:15:14,413 --> 00:15:15,664
and I can't say anything
about yours.
462
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,041
Oh, really?
Well, come at me.
463
00:15:17,041 --> 00:15:19,251
Fine.
You're, like, really bony.
464
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:21,170
Like, when we have sex,
our pelvises clang together.
465
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,838
It sounds like someone's
trying to fix an old car.
466
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:24,673
That's 'cause you're
just as skinny as me, bro.
467
00:15:24,673 --> 00:15:26,383
Which is why it's weird
that the sex is so good.
468
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,886
I know. It's almost as good
as with the short king.
469
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,890
[whispers]
It's actually kind of better.
470
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,516
Sorry, what was that?
What was the last--
471
00:15:34,516 --> 00:15:36,101
the last part?
- Shut up. You heard me.
472
00:15:36,101 --> 00:15:37,227
It's just I'm so tall
that it's hard to hear
473
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:39,188
from up here sometimes.
474
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,981
♪ You pull me under ♪
475
00:15:40,981 --> 00:15:43,817
♪ Hey, oh,
hey, oh, oh ♪
476
00:15:43,817 --> 00:15:45,361
♪ Oh ♪
477
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:49,323
In "Meghan's Quandary,"
the decision is a tough one.
478
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:52,576
Does Meghan,
penniless and starving,
479
00:15:52,576 --> 00:15:54,078
return to Dublin?
480
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:58,207
Or does she pursue her dreams
in America?
481
00:15:58,207 --> 00:15:59,500
And, of course,
482
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,044
there are no clear right
or wrong answers.
483
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:03,253
That being said,
484
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:06,382
Meghan did return home
to Ireland
485
00:16:06,382 --> 00:16:08,967
and promptly died of cholera.
486
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,719
Her last words?
487
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,971
"Why did I do it?"
488
00:16:12,971 --> 00:16:16,266
Her decision haunted her.
489
00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:17,434
Excuse me.
490
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,647
It's an overwhelming story
for many.
491
00:16:21,647 --> 00:16:24,358
Now, let's discuss
the epilogue.
492
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:29,405
You okay? You ran out
of there really fast.
493
00:16:29,405 --> 00:16:30,906
Was it a bathroom thing?
494
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,408
Oh, my God.
Jesus Christ, no.
495
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,159
No, my stomach is great.
496
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:37,746
I'm just stressed.
- Sorry.
497
00:16:37,746 --> 00:16:41,375
I don't know if I'll be able
to stay here at Essex.
498
00:16:41,375 --> 00:16:43,293
- Oh, shit.
- But I'm fine.
499
00:16:43,293 --> 00:16:44,920
I don't want to bother you
with that.
500
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,463
Nah, it's fine.
I mean...
501
00:16:46,463 --> 00:16:48,257
I had to leave my college too.
502
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:50,467
If it wasn't for that tornado
just absolutely
503
00:16:50,467 --> 00:16:52,261
shredding my college to pieces,
504
00:16:52,261 --> 00:16:54,555
I'd still be in Kansas
with my friends,
505
00:16:54,555 --> 00:16:56,640
frat, my truck.
506
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,891
Oh, I didn't realize
507
00:16:57,891 --> 00:16:59,309
you missed your old school
so much.
508
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:01,729
You seem like you'd fit in
anywhere you go.
509
00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,564
Eh, no.
Not really.
510
00:17:03,564 --> 00:17:05,065
I mean, yeah, sexually,
511
00:17:05,065 --> 00:17:06,608
people are pretty receptive
to me here,
512
00:17:06,608 --> 00:17:08,902
but making friends is harder.
513
00:17:08,902 --> 00:17:10,654
Yeah, I feel the same way.
514
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:13,449
Except sexually,
it's hard for me too.
515
00:17:13,449 --> 00:17:15,075
Look, all I'm saying is,
516
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:16,702
I know that leaving
a place you love sucks,
517
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:20,622
so I really hope you don't
have to go through that.
518
00:17:20,622 --> 00:17:22,541
Thanks.
519
00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,084
I'll see you around.
520
00:17:24,084 --> 00:17:27,629
[upbeat music]
521
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:32,468
♪ ♪
522
00:17:32,468 --> 00:17:33,635
All right, everyone.
523
00:17:33,635 --> 00:17:36,221
30 minutes left on the test.
524
00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,806
[sighs]
525
00:17:37,806 --> 00:17:39,767
Mm.
[scoffs]
526
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:46,523
♪ ♪
527
00:17:46,523 --> 00:17:48,650
Holy shit.
That test was brutal.
528
00:17:48,650 --> 00:17:50,611
I know,
but I think I did okay.
529
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:52,070
Did I know everything?
Absolutely not.
530
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:53,781
But I kind of impressed myself.
531
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,491
- Hell yeah, you did.
- [chuckles]
532
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,493
I'm not raising my voice.
I'm just...
533
00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:58,911
Guys, we've discussed this.
534
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,621
Don't listen outside our door.
It's creepy.
535
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,164
Leighton is in there
with two other girls,
536
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,749
and it is a knock-down,
drag-out fight.
537
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,083
I guess a girl named Molly
538
00:18:05,083 --> 00:18:06,376
brought Leighton some flowers.
539
00:18:06,376 --> 00:18:07,711
But then this girl named Jess
540
00:18:07,711 --> 00:18:09,004
showed up at the same time.
541
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,422
And Molly and Jess
have history.
542
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:12,466
And Leighton either knew
or she didn't.
543
00:18:12,466 --> 00:18:14,176
Okay, get out of our way.
544
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:15,803
I can't believe
I brought you peonies.
545
00:18:15,803 --> 00:18:17,262
They're not even in season.
546
00:18:17,262 --> 00:18:18,847
And I can't believe
you were dating my ex.
547
00:18:18,847 --> 00:18:20,516
Okay, I only slept
with Molly once.
548
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,684
- So we're not together?
- No, not right now.
549
00:18:22,684 --> 00:18:23,977
Okay,
I would not have
550
00:18:23,977 --> 00:18:25,521
bought us
Phoebe Bridgers tickets
551
00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:26,897
if I knew that you were
seeing other people.
552
00:18:26,897 --> 00:18:28,273
Oh,
Phoebe Bridgers is the shit.
553
00:18:28,273 --> 00:18:30,108
I'll go with you.
- Okay, I told you both,
554
00:18:30,108 --> 00:18:32,903
I'm newly out and I'm just--
I'm taking it slow.
555
00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,571
Leighton?
556
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,406
Cat, what are you doing here?
557
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,408
I'm here
to return your underwear.
558
00:18:38,408 --> 00:18:39,660
Oh, shit.
559
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,328
Oh, hey, Molly.
560
00:18:41,328 --> 00:18:43,080
Leighton, I didn't know
you knew my ex.
561
00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:44,540
Oh, you guys dated too?
562
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,416
I love this.
[chuckles]
563
00:18:46,416 --> 00:18:47,876
Okay, everyone shut up.
564
00:18:47,876 --> 00:18:49,253
Leighton can bang
who she wants.
565
00:18:49,253 --> 00:18:51,213
This is not "Bridgerton."
Everybody out.
566
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,840
Hustle, hustle.
- Get out. Bye.
567
00:18:52,840 --> 00:18:54,258
Let's go, lesbians.
Let's go.
568
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,926
And why the hell
are you two here anyway?
569
00:18:55,926 --> 00:18:58,220
Oh, excuse us for being
messy bitches who love drama.
570
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,181
Ooh, let's go next door and
try to eavesdrop from there.
571
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:02,516
[sighs]
572
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,643
Turns out
secretly fucking suburban moms
573
00:19:04,643 --> 00:19:06,228
is a whole lot easier
than navigating
574
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,688
the queer community at Essex
575
00:19:07,688 --> 00:19:09,731
where everyone has slept
with everyone else.
576
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:11,650
Okay, be honest, are we gonna
have to change our locks?
577
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:13,110
Did you give anyone a key?
578
00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:14,611
[upbeat music]
579
00:19:14,611 --> 00:19:19,950
♪ ♪
580
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,451
Oh, God.
Here we go.
581
00:19:22,911 --> 00:19:25,455
What?
But I studied my ass off.
582
00:19:25,455 --> 00:19:27,583
Holy shit,
you got a 62?
583
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:28,959
I got a 4.
584
00:19:28,959 --> 00:19:30,627
As a reminder,
today is the last day
585
00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,045
to drop this class.
586
00:19:32,045 --> 00:19:33,881
So if you're not
feeling confident,
587
00:19:33,881 --> 00:19:36,133
I suggest you leave.
588
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,634
Whit, I'm never
gonna pass this class.
589
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,553
I think we should drop it
while we still can.
590
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,016
Look,
I know we didn't do well,
591
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,767
but I want to stay.
592
00:19:45,767 --> 00:19:47,269
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
593
00:19:47,269 --> 00:19:49,229
I really think
I can do this.
594
00:19:49,229 --> 00:19:50,814
Even though
I didn't do the best,
595
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,274
I want to keep trying.
596
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,152
Fine. Fuck it.
I'll stay too.
597
00:19:55,152 --> 00:19:56,445
- [chuckles]
- All right.
598
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,363
The rest of you,
let's get started.
599
00:19:58,363 --> 00:19:59,865
Let's turn to page...
- Hey.
600
00:19:59,865 --> 00:20:01,950
Hey, I know you probably
weren't paying attention,
601
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,036
but now is your time to leave.
602
00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:05,704
Yeah, I'm staying.
603
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:08,248
And just like an electron
around a nucleus,
604
00:20:08,248 --> 00:20:09,917
I'm gonna run circles
around your ass.
605
00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:12,502
Okay.
[scoffs]
606
00:20:12,502 --> 00:20:14,338
- Did I get that right?
- I don't fucking know.
607
00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:16,006
But that was cool as hell.
[both giggle]
608
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:17,841
♪ ♪
609
00:20:17,841 --> 00:20:19,968
♪ Did you notice ♪
610
00:20:19,968 --> 00:20:23,639
♪ That moves easily? ♪
611
00:20:23,639 --> 00:20:26,141
♪ Oh, oh ♪
612
00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:29,061
♪ Moving on again ♪
613
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,313
♪ Once I'm spinning ♪
614
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,190
♪ I can't stop spinning ♪
615
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,943
♪ Can't stop spinning ♪
616
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,319
♪ ♪
617
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,488
♪ Once I'm spinning ♪
618
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:41,323
♪ I can't stop spinning ♪
619
00:20:41,323 --> 00:20:43,575
♪ Can't stop spinning ♪
620
00:20:43,575 --> 00:20:45,661
Hi, yes,
my name is Kimberly Finkle
621
00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:48,789
and I wanted to apply
to sell my eggs.
622
00:20:50,123 --> 00:20:52,250
Okay, the jacket
is Veronica Beard.
623
00:20:52,250 --> 00:20:54,002
Um, jeans are Hudson.
624
00:20:54,002 --> 00:20:56,463
And the boots are Gucci.
625
00:20:57,255 --> 00:20:58,173
[phone chimes]
626
00:20:58,173 --> 00:21:02,761
♪ ♪
627
00:21:02,761 --> 00:21:05,597
♪ You don't have
to come around ♪
628
00:21:05,597 --> 00:21:08,934
♪ Take it back,
tears will fall again ♪
629
00:21:08,934 --> 00:21:10,143
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
630
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:11,311
Jesus.
631
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:13,397
Ow! Ow!
632
00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:14,606
[stall door creaks]
633
00:21:16,149 --> 00:21:17,359
Okay, Leighton,
634
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,778
you've tested positive
for chlamydia.
635
00:21:19,778 --> 00:21:22,072
What? No, I've only
been with women recently,
636
00:21:22,072 --> 00:21:23,740
so that's actually impossible.
637
00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:25,450
It's actually very possible
638
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:26,952
and something
you should contact
639
00:21:26,952 --> 00:21:28,537
all your recent partners about.
640
00:21:28,537 --> 00:21:32,165
[upbeat music]
641
00:21:32,165 --> 00:21:39,339
{\an8}♪ ♪
642
00:21:46,304 --> 00:21:51,435
{\an8}- ♪ All that sex with lust ♪
643
00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:53,353
{\an8}♪ Seldom I beg, but ♪
644
00:21:53,353 --> 00:21:58,567
{\an8}♪ All that sex with lust ♪
645
00:21:58,567 --> 00:22:00,485
{\an8}♪ Seldom I beg, but ♪
646
00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:03,071
{\an8}♪ What if
I'm a material one? ♪
647
00:22:03,071 --> 00:22:07,367
{\an8}♪ For that freaky boy
that I love ♪
648
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:11,079
{\an8}♪ Millions of heads
of Barbie dolls ♪
649
00:22:11,079 --> 00:22:14,708
{\an8}♪ Necklaces and bracelets ♪
650
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:17,794
{\an8}♪ Bulk of lace ♪
651
00:22:17,794 --> 00:22:21,673
{\an8}♪ Of freckled leather ♪
652
00:22:21,673 --> 00:22:24,259
{\an8}♪ Where are you gonna go
like that?
653
00:22:24,259 --> 00:22:29,139
{\an8}♪ You're a mouthful,
off my old souvenirs ♪
654
00:22:29,139 --> 00:22:36,313
{\an8}♪ ♪
47261
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