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1
00:00:06,206 --> 00:00:10,142
You know, sometimes sex is
like such a confusing thing in my life.
2
00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:14,144
Listen, sex seems very
complicated and confusing...
3
00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:15,781
...but it's very simple.
4
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,678
The man takes his penis...
5
00:00:17,851 --> 00:00:19,978
...puts it into a woman's vagina...
6
00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:21,711
...he ejaculates...
7
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:23,856
...and she dies.
8
00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:27,552
She dies?
9
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:31,219
Oh, no, I was thinking
of something else. That's....
10
00:00:35,101 --> 00:00:38,093
[IAN LLOYD'S "BROTHER LOUIE"
PLAYING]
11
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,969
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
12
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,541
Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah
13
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:57,478
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
14
00:00:58,525 --> 00:01:02,120
Louie, Louie, you're gonna cry
15
00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:06,725
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
16
00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:11,261
Louie, Louie, Louie, Lou-ah
17
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:16,102
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
18
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:20,569
Louie, Louie, you're gonna die
19
00:01:21,681 --> 00:01:23,945
Louie, Louie, Louie, Louie
20
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,210
[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]
21
00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,718
I guess I feel like I should go out
and get laid...
22
00:01:28,888 --> 00:01:31,288
...but I don't have sex drive, really.
23
00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:33,551
I have-- It's not sex drive.
24
00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:37,560
I have sex "just sit in the car
and hope someone gets in."
25
00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:41,894
There's not really-- It's not drive.
26
00:01:42,635 --> 00:01:46,696
[SOFT MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
27
00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:55,974
Hi. I just wanted to say
I thought you were really funny.
28
00:01:56,149 --> 00:01:58,242
Thank you, thanks very much.
29
00:01:58,418 --> 00:02:01,649
I was listening to what you said
about younger girls, though.
30
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:05,552
Uh-huh.
Well, it's not true, not for all of us.
31
00:02:05,725 --> 00:02:07,124
Oh, yeah, how's that?
32
00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:09,818
Well, I'm really
turned on by older guys.
33
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,270
You are?
Sure.
34
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,809
How old are you?
Twenty-six.
35
00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:29,008
That turns you on, doesn't it?
Just the number.
36
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:35,445
Can I ask you,
why do you like older guys?
37
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:40,154
I don't know. Guys my age just suck.
38
00:02:40,326 --> 00:02:41,793
They all think they're so great.
39
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:44,020
They have all this annoying energy...
40
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:48,827
...and they're all pink and smooth
like a baby. Ew.
41
00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:51,937
Yeah, I guess I--
But older guys are just relaxed.
42
00:02:52,105 --> 00:02:54,972
I mean, you've given up,
which makes you grounded.
43
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:58,201
Your skin is all loose and a little dry.
44
00:02:58,378 --> 00:03:00,141
And you smell weird.
45
00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:05,648
We smell weird?
Totally. Do you mind?
46
00:03:06,519 --> 00:03:09,113
[INHALES]
47
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:12,552
Mm. Yeah, you smell.
48
00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:14,190
Like what?
49
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,385
I don't know, like...
50
00:03:17,630 --> 00:03:20,064
...dying? It's sexy.
51
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:23,893
Well, you smell nice too.
52
00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:27,799
Well, yeah, young pussy smells good.
53
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,434
Holy shit.
54
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:35,138
I know.
You've hit the jackpot, right?
55
00:03:39,519 --> 00:03:45,355
Listen, this is the greatest thing
that ever happened to me, clearly...
56
00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:48,587
...but I don't know about being
in a relationship with a--
57
00:03:48,761 --> 00:03:50,592
Relationship? Ew.
58
00:03:50,763 --> 00:03:53,095
Who said anything about that?
59
00:03:53,433 --> 00:03:55,560
Here you are. Can we go?
60
00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,565
Oh, baby.
Yeah.
61
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:04,275
Oh, my God,
you're so old.
62
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,708
What?
You're so old.
63
00:04:06,879 --> 00:04:08,744
You're so goddamn old.
64
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,212
Yeah, I'm pretty old.
65
00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:13,943
Tell me. Tell me how old you are.
I'm 42.
66
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,781
[MOANING]
67
00:04:15,955 --> 00:04:18,082
I'm almost 43.
68
00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:20,752
I was born in 1967.
69
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,827
Oh, God, that's crazy old.
70
00:04:22,996 --> 00:04:24,861
I remember going to movies cost $3.
71
00:04:25,031 --> 00:04:27,056
Oh, shit, yeah.
72
00:04:27,233 --> 00:04:28,825
I remember smoking on airplanes.
73
00:04:29,002 --> 00:04:31,129
Oh, shit, that's so long ago.
74
00:04:31,304 --> 00:04:33,272
I had a vein removed from my leg
last year.
75
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:35,873
Yes, so did my mom. Don't stop.
76
00:04:36,042 --> 00:04:38,169
I voted for Mike Dukakis.
77
00:04:38,344 --> 00:04:39,936
Who the hell is that?
78
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:41,740
I'm older than any baseball player.
79
00:04:41,914 --> 00:04:44,815
Except Jamie Moyer, I think.
He's still playing for the Phillies.
80
00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:54,850
Should I call you, or...?
81
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:57,758
Nope. That was great,
though, thanks.
82
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,427
Okay.
83
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:08,938
Sex drive has to come from somewhere,
and it's not just about sex.
84
00:05:09,108 --> 00:05:11,941
Sex has something behind it.
It's weird because we ignore it.
85
00:05:12,111 --> 00:05:14,272
Sex is really trying to get somewhere.
86
00:05:14,447 --> 00:05:16,176
It's trying to have a family.
87
00:05:16,349 --> 00:05:20,479
You don't really wanna know that because
we've separated those two things...
88
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:24,487
...but the entire reason sex exists
is to have babies.
89
00:05:24,657 --> 00:05:27,182
That's the only reason it exists at all...
90
00:05:27,360 --> 00:05:31,126
...but we're such a narcissistic species
that we've separate-- We made it just--
91
00:05:31,297 --> 00:05:32,855
Because we just wanna, ugh!
92
00:05:33,032 --> 00:05:34,761
Like, we just wanna just:
93
00:05:34,934 --> 00:05:36,663
[GRUNTING]
94
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,134
It's just a weird kind of behavior.
95
00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:43,332
We just want to spray jizz everywhere
just for no reason.
96
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:46,808
[GRUNTING]
97
00:05:46,979 --> 00:05:49,743
Because that urge
is the urge to procreate.
98
00:05:49,916 --> 00:05:54,979
A horny teenage boy is thinking,
"I want a baby. Oh, yeah.
99
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:58,884
I want a precious baby of my very own
to take care of.
100
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,319
Oh, dude.
101
00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:02,654
Oh, look at her tits.
102
00:06:02,829 --> 00:06:06,265
I want her to feed my little baby
with her big tits. Oh, yeah."
103
00:06:06,432 --> 00:06:08,798
That's what that is.
104
00:06:09,502 --> 00:06:14,303
But we make it this separate thing.
Animals must think we're idiots.
105
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,601
Animals that watch us have sex
must be like:
106
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,368
"They don't know what they're--
107
00:06:18,544 --> 00:06:21,536
He's coming on her tits.
He's a moron, this guy."
108
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:25,206
Whoo-hoo, dooh. Just, whoops.
109
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:28,411
It just looks stupid to them.
110
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:34,292
Anyway, I'm a-- Ahem. I'm a father.
111
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,261
I'm a father. Why?
112
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,488
[PEOPLE CLAPPING]
113
00:06:38,664 --> 00:06:40,222
Why?
114
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,925
It's weird, the kind of things
people will clap for.
115
00:06:43,102 --> 00:06:44,330
It is interesting.
116
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:47,803
First of all, right away,
any kind of "I got kids."
117
00:06:47,974 --> 00:06:49,202
"There you go."
118
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:51,905
"I ate them both."
119
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:53,170
[GROANS]
120
00:06:53,346 --> 00:06:56,144
"Wish I'd had-- Wish I'd waited.
121
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:59,810
Maybe a premature clap
right there with that."
122
00:07:00,987 --> 00:07:02,648
I mean, some parents are okay.
123
00:07:02,822 --> 00:07:04,756
Some parents are douche bags.
124
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:08,288
[CHATTERING]
125
00:07:08,461 --> 00:07:09,621
Good evening.
126
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,594
Good evening, may I have
your attention? Yes.
127
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:16,267
Thank you, good evening.
128
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:20,668
As always, we are really grateful
for those of you who pitch in here...
129
00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:22,171
...and add your ideas.
130
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:26,175
Except you never use any of
our ideas or really listen.
131
00:07:26,345 --> 00:07:29,678
Jay, I don't think you can
say that and be fair.
132
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:33,843
Look, I am more than happy
to look at your ideas.
133
00:07:34,020 --> 00:07:35,282
Blah, blah, blah, blah.
134
00:07:35,455 --> 00:07:36,717
Okay.
135
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:40,416
Chris is here to talk about some ways
we are trying to include...
136
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:45,462
...more physical activity in the curriculum
to deal with this fatigue problem.
137
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:48,464
I'm sorry, what was that?
Sorry?
138
00:07:48,768 --> 00:07:51,293
Oh, it's my first PTA meeting.
139
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:53,735
WOMAN:
Oh, well, thank you, thank you for coming.
140
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:57,433
Thanks. I was wondering,
what is meant by "fatigue problem"?
141
00:07:57,610 --> 00:07:59,635
Yeah, I'm curious about that too.
142
00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:03,543
It's also my first PTA meeting.
143
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:05,983
I work, hi.
144
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:10,555
The fatigue problem is what was identified
in the first quarter of this school year...
145
00:08:10,723 --> 00:08:16,218
...as being a marked decline in the spirit
and interest and energy of the kids here...
146
00:08:16,395 --> 00:08:18,886
...usually around noon
or right after lunch.
147
00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,597
It's because of the lunch.
148
00:08:20,766 --> 00:08:23,428
They aren't given enough time to eat.
No, it's not that.
149
00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:26,834
They're being demoralized.
You fill them with academics.
150
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,803
You don't tell them who they are.
151
00:08:28,975 --> 00:08:33,275
For now, we are focusing
on the lack of physical activity.
152
00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:36,677
Now, we still don't have a gym
because of last year's diarrhea flood.
153
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,373
Excuse me, excuse me.
WOMAN: Yes.
154
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:40,678
My name is Nancy Cartesian.
155
00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:43,686
My son is Never Cartesian.
156
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,346
Oh, Jesus.
157
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:48,585
He has definitely suffered
from the fatigue syndrome.
158
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:49,853
In my opinion...
159
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:53,487
...it's because of the competitive nature
of this school, of the children--
160
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:56,601
I've been reading about
this Reggio teaching method from Italy.
161
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:58,964
It's like Montessori,
only a bit more creative.
162
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:01,003
When are they supposed to dance?
163
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:02,265
It's the academics.
164
00:09:02,441 --> 00:09:05,706
This place is still stuck in the '70s.
Who still teaches math anymore?
165
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,870
We've been talking about introducing
some competitive sports.
166
00:09:09,048 --> 00:09:12,040
I think our kids just need to be allowed
to play more creatively.
167
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:16,746
You are all way off. This problem's--
Isn't it just--? It's school, right?
168
00:09:16,923 --> 00:09:19,187
So, I mean, school sucks.
169
00:09:19,792 --> 00:09:21,384
Right?
170
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,429
I mean, you do what you can to improve it,
but it's not-- It's--
171
00:09:25,598 --> 00:09:29,398
In the end, there's a limit
because it's school.
172
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,196
And school sucks.
173
00:09:31,370 --> 00:09:33,065
Remember?
174
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,396
Hey.
Hey.
175
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,970
Hey, can I get one of those?
Sure.
176
00:10:07,139 --> 00:10:08,731
Thank you.
177
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:13,504
Yeah, I don't think
your "school sucks" initiative...
178
00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,011
...is gonna get much support.
Mm-hm.
179
00:10:16,182 --> 00:10:17,740
Just saying.
180
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:20,408
I know.
I don't even know why I came.
181
00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:23,578
I guess I just figured
you gotta go to one PTA meeting.
182
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,417
Same.
183
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:29,119
Hey, your son, um--
Serge.
184
00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:31,229
I'm sorry,
I don't know anybody's names.
185
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:32,796
It's all right.
186
00:10:33,099 --> 00:10:34,726
You guys are in my Lily's class.
187
00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:36,561
Yeah, I know.
Yeah?
188
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:40,570
Yeah, Serge talks about Lily all the time.
He's in stupid love with her.
189
00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,765
I didn't know that.
190
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:46,277
Listen, Lily hasn't made
a lot of friends in the new class...
191
00:10:46,445 --> 00:10:49,710
...and I was wondering if maybe
you just wanna do a playdate?
192
00:10:51,117 --> 00:10:54,985
You're not trying to stick
your dick up me, are you?
193
00:10:55,755 --> 00:10:57,848
No, I just--
194
00:10:58,024 --> 00:11:01,187
You can drop him off
and go do something else.
195
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,353
I just-- Lily's kind of a loner.
I wanna get a playdate for her, that's all.
196
00:11:05,531 --> 00:11:08,694
Okay, because nothing goes
in here anymore.
197
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:12,565
I mean, all this shit
is shut down for good.
198
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:17,732
All right, well, I don't think I'll be needing
any of that shit for the playdate, so....
199
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:19,434
So when
do you wanna do it?
200
00:11:19,612 --> 00:11:21,136
Are you making a playdate?
201
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:24,441
Because Never would really like one also.
202
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,346
Oh, no.
Mm-mm.
203
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,384
No, we were just--
Nope.
204
00:11:28,554 --> 00:11:30,078
Yeah.
205
00:11:32,892 --> 00:11:36,453
Oh, my God, I feel awful.
I don't.
206
00:11:36,629 --> 00:11:38,597
That woman's an asshole.
207
00:11:38,764 --> 00:11:42,222
Have you met Never?
That kid is a piece of shit.
208
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:45,126
Well, he did
come out of an asshole.
209
00:11:54,146 --> 00:11:58,515
Sometimes I feel like I just--
I don't have any friends.
210
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:03,044
And why do you think that is?
211
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,053
I don't know.
212
00:12:06,058 --> 00:12:10,757
Do you think
it's because you're fat?
213
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:18,664
You-- What are you--?
You think I'm fat?
214
00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:24,743
I'm asking you
if you think you're fat.
215
00:12:25,010 --> 00:12:30,971
No, you asked me if I thought
I didn't have friends because I'm fat.
216
00:12:33,719 --> 00:12:35,983
Because...
217
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:40,183
...you think you're fat.
218
00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:49,998
Hey.
Hey. Hey, girls, Serge is here.
219
00:12:50,169 --> 00:12:54,503
I was gonna take you up on your offer
of using this time to do something...
220
00:12:54,673 --> 00:12:57,665
...but I couldn't make anything happen.
So do you mind if I stay?
221
00:12:57,843 --> 00:13:00,778
Yeah, of course, please, come on in.
Okay.
222
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:04,143
All right, honey. Shoes, take them off.
No, he doesn't have to.
223
00:13:04,316 --> 00:13:07,046
Oh, please.
He steps in dog poop on purpose.
224
00:13:07,219 --> 00:13:08,811
Do you have wine?
225
00:13:13,959 --> 00:13:17,895
So when did you guys
get divorced?
226
00:13:18,063 --> 00:13:22,329
Well, we got separated about two years ago
and the divorce took forever.
227
00:13:22,501 --> 00:13:23,832
Is Serge okay with nuts?
228
00:13:24,003 --> 00:13:27,302
Yeah, and his mom
really likes wine.
229
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:30,408
Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
230
00:13:30,576 --> 00:13:32,441
Is this okay?
Yes, please.
231
00:13:32,611 --> 00:13:35,444
Okay. Yeah.
232
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:37,308
I think....
233
00:13:37,683 --> 00:13:41,449
Why don't you peel carrots? I got this.
Okay.
234
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:46,615
Mm. Oh, my God,
this is so good.
235
00:13:46,792 --> 00:13:48,589
It's just
some rice and beans.
236
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,662
Mm-mm.
You don't understand.
237
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:55,528
I come home from work,
I make him macaroni and cheese...
238
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:58,602
...I eat whatever's left in his bowl
while he's in the tub.
239
00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:01,706
I wish Daddy would make
macaroni and cheese.
240
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,808
Hey, listen, little girl...
241
00:14:03,976 --> 00:14:07,309
...you should be happy your daddy
takes time to make nice food for you.
242
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:10,471
You should be grateful.
What does grateful mean?
243
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:12,776
She knows
what grateful means.
244
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:18,151
Ooh.
Undercut by big sister, I like it.
245
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,621
So where is, uh--?
246
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,560
Serge's dad?
247
00:14:26,732 --> 00:14:30,998
Yeah, sorry. I feel like you shouldn't ask
anybody about anybody just to be safe.
248
00:14:31,170 --> 00:14:33,900
You never know.
Good rule, definitely.
249
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:37,236
Well, people are so stupid.
They're like, "Where is your wife?"
250
00:14:37,409 --> 00:14:40,572
Like they never heard of divorce
or people dying.
251
00:14:40,746 --> 00:14:43,112
And they go, "I'm so sorry."
252
00:14:43,282 --> 00:14:46,843
Like, you didn't say you were so sorry
when I was stuck in a shitty marriage.
253
00:14:47,019 --> 00:14:51,012
Well, most divorced people
are depressing.
254
00:14:51,190 --> 00:14:52,521
They're lost.
255
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:56,186
You're doing fine.
You're obviously a great dad.
256
00:14:58,731 --> 00:15:00,926
What?
How do you know I'm such a great dad?
257
00:15:01,100 --> 00:15:04,069
Just because I'm in the same room
with my children, that's it?
258
00:15:04,236 --> 00:15:05,999
Yeah, exactly.
259
00:15:06,171 --> 00:15:08,264
Just by showing up,
you're father of the year.
260
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,671
You're here, you're peeling a carrot.
You're amazing.
261
00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:15,280
That's kind of offensive to fathers.
Well, it should be.
262
00:15:15,447 --> 00:15:18,974
Fathers should be offended
all the time. They stink.
263
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,176
Oh, come on.
264
00:15:21,720 --> 00:15:25,884
Look, you're really gonna defend fathers?
What was your father like?
265
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:28,257
Not around.
266
00:15:28,427 --> 00:15:31,954
Dude, take the compliment.
You're a great dad.
267
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,462
Thanks.
268
00:15:33,632 --> 00:15:35,657
[KIDS SCREAMING]
269
00:15:35,834 --> 00:15:38,098
Daddy, we're chasing Serge.
270
00:15:38,270 --> 00:15:39,999
That's great, honey.
271
00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:45,436
I know you told me her name
but I forgot. What is it?
272
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:46,600
Doesn't matter.
273
00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,076
[LAUGHING]
274
00:15:48,247 --> 00:15:49,942
Oh, my God.
275
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:51,849
Okay.
276
00:15:52,484 --> 00:15:57,217
What's the worst thought
you ever had about your kids?
277
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:02,087
I don't know, you go first.
278
00:16:03,562 --> 00:16:04,756
[CLEARS THROAT]
279
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:07,125
All right. Um...
280
00:16:07,299 --> 00:16:10,462
I would never hit Serge, never.
281
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:16,006
But sometimes, I think about hitting him.
282
00:16:16,175 --> 00:16:18,837
Like, I picture it, like a fantasy.
283
00:16:20,112 --> 00:16:21,636
Come on, that's not so bad.
284
00:16:21,814 --> 00:16:26,649
Well, I mean, I don't think about it
when he's being bad...
285
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:32,382
...or I'm having a hard time with him
or anything like that, I just--
286
00:16:33,392 --> 00:16:36,452
I think about it when I'm bored.
287
00:16:36,895 --> 00:16:39,830
Or when I'm bored of being a mom...
288
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,559
...or when he's just boring.
289
00:16:42,735 --> 00:16:46,398
I just think about hitting him
right in his stupid little face.
290
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:49,541
Ha-ha-ha. Oh, my God.
291
00:16:50,342 --> 00:16:52,537
That's awful.
I know.
292
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:55,737
Oh, my God.
I know.
293
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:01,880
Jesus.
All right, so, what's yours?
294
00:17:02,054 --> 00:17:04,045
Oh. Uh....
295
00:17:04,223 --> 00:17:06,157
I don't know, I'm drawing a blank.
296
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:07,724
Come on.
297
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,152
I can't think of anything.
298
00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:15,165
That's not fair. You're a piece of shit.
You're gonna make me burn in hell alone?
299
00:17:15,334 --> 00:17:18,064
No, no, no, okay. Uh....
300
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,733
Bad...?
301
00:17:21,507 --> 00:17:23,168
What? Hurry.
Okay, okay, okay.
302
00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:25,833
All right, you know what?
303
00:17:27,246 --> 00:17:31,273
I was thinking that
on Jane's 18th birthday, right?
304
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:36,217
That's the day I stop being a dad,
of children, officially.
305
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:40,757
Like, the day I just--
I just become a guy, not Daddy.
306
00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:44,054
I just become just some dude.
307
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,123
I think on that day...
308
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:50,127
...I might kill myself.
309
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:54,036
[LAUGHS]
310
00:17:54,206 --> 00:17:56,572
Oh, my God.
311
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,238
Please do it now.
312
00:18:00,979 --> 00:18:03,607
Oh, my God, you're
the biggest bummer I ever met.
313
00:18:03,782 --> 00:18:04,874
I hate you.
314
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,552
Oh, I'm having so much fun.
315
00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:17,559
Pamela?
316
00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,725
Pamela?
317
00:18:22,167 --> 00:18:26,900
Oh, hey, Serge, your mom is--
She just got tired.
318
00:18:28,073 --> 00:18:30,598
She had too much wine.
319
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,803
Mama. Mama, wake up.
320
00:18:35,380 --> 00:18:38,543
Oh, honey. Okay, we're going now.
321
00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:40,947
Thank you so much.
Thanks for everything.
322
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:44,089
Bye, girls.
You're going? All right, well....
323
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:45,951
Grab your shoes.
324
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:50,391
All right.
Well, bye, thanks for everything.
325
00:18:50,562 --> 00:18:51,586
All right.
Okay.
326
00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:52,991
Sure.
327
00:18:54,032 --> 00:18:56,091
Thanks for coming.
328
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:02,763
LOUIE: I've never gotten laid
because of the way I look, in my life.
329
00:19:02,941 --> 00:19:06,206
I know that.
I've never gained from my looks at all.
330
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:10,838
It's never-- It's not like, "Oh, they're going,
what am I gonna do now?"
331
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:16,648
I've never gained any advantage in life.
I've never been laid because of how I look.
332
00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:22,852
I've never been a guy who,
I just walk in a room and women go, oh, oh.
333
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:30,929
They drop their microphones
and start masturbating...
334
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,436
...their vaginas and anuses
at the same time.
335
00:19:34,606 --> 00:19:36,870
I'm not that guy.
336
00:19:37,042 --> 00:19:39,670
There are those guys.
337
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,006
I'm not that guy.
338
00:19:43,182 --> 00:19:47,016
I'm the guy that women see
and they go, eh?
339
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,554
I'm like, "I know,
but let me just talk to you for a minute."
340
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:57,988
Then later that night, she's like, "I can't
believe I'm having sex with that weird guy."
341
00:19:58,163 --> 00:20:01,758
I'm like, "I know, it's weird,
but it does happen. I do this--"
342
00:20:03,135 --> 00:20:08,129
I don't know what kind of position
we're in that she's doing this...
343
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:10,400
...and I'm doing this:
344
00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:14,637
Just-- Kind of just poking her.
345
00:20:14,980 --> 00:20:16,504
And she's like, "Really?"
346
00:20:16,682 --> 00:20:21,984
"Yeah, this is all I like. I don't--
Nothing else works. Sorry."
347
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,326
I can't-- I just can't get organized,
you know?
348
00:20:32,497 --> 00:20:35,398
I feel like my whole life is just--
I feel like I'm underwater.
349
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,559
I'm just overwhelmed
by everything that I have to do.
350
00:20:44,776 --> 00:20:46,903
Have you ever heard...
351
00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,872
...of someone dying...
352
00:20:52,718 --> 00:20:56,677
...and then you got an erection?
353
00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,383
What?
354
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:03,788
No.
355
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:07,261
No, that never--
That never happened to me.
356
00:21:07,766 --> 00:21:09,666
That happened to me.
357
00:21:25,417 --> 00:21:26,406
[English - US - PSDH]
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