All language subtitles for CLMBO CIM

Calamity Jane is talked about in

the same breath as Paul
Bunyan and his big blue ox,

or Pecos Bill riding the tornado.

But Calamity Jane was a real person.

She was bigger than both truth or legend.

He's over there!

Hellfire, Calamity Jane!

If I'd have known you were nappin

I wouldn't have used that shrub.
I wasn't nappin.

I am in a period of mournin.

Easy there, girl, easy.

I didn't know'd you to own a horse, Al.

I bought it in a might hurry.

See I can't live in Deadwood no more.

I got into a shootout with Isaac Brown.

What's your quarrel with him?

He's a lawman and that's quarrel enough.

They electin lawmen
in Deadwood these days?

Since Wild Bill got cut down,

people got tired of lawlessness.

I hear you might know a man
go by the name of Lemonade.

Only know the drink.

I reckon horse thievery's
still pretty high on their list.

I didn't steal no horse.

Thank you.

Alright easy there, Jane,
I'll have no quarrel with you.

None at all.

Damnit, Calamity Jane!

Which way did Lemonade go?
Go to hell!

Was it east or south?

I don't know no Lemonade!

You wouldn't be the first man
I strung up and you know it.

East! He went east following the river!

Jane?

Jane?

What are you fixing to do?

This is your horse ain't it?

Yeah.

All you gotta do is call his name.

He'll stop.

No! No! No!

Good Lord, Charlie! It's me!
That was just a warning.

Make yourself known a
little sooner next time.

Isaac Brown is dead.

Mason and Holland both too.

Well, I'll not be the next Marshal.

Doesn't seem to be a long
term job from what I can see.

As it happens, I was
elected sheriff recently.

So, I guess you're
out here rounding up...

...a posse to hunt down the man
what killed Sheriff Brown.

Well as it so happens, Al
Milagro's dead by misadventure.

Good Lord, the devil's
thirsty in Deadwood, ain't he?

What are you huntin me up for?

I'm gonna capture Calamity Jane.

Top of the mornin'.

Did you hear that, girl?

♪ They parked the hurst on ♪

♪ Grubsteak Street outside
Last Chance Saloon ♪

♪ They all walked in at half past eight ♪

♪ And staggered out at noon ♪

♪ They went up to the graveyard tryin' ♪

♪ To walk in a straight line. ♪

♪ And found out when they got there ♪

♪ They had left the corpse behind ♪

♪ That's when they ♪

If you're here to rob me,

you should have caught up
with me a few hands ago.

Back in Deadwood.

And this crick here's all played out.

I ain't here to kill you.

Good fortune smiles upon me.

Well that being the
case, I got some vituals

on a little fire over there.

You know there was a time when I said

I'd never be so low as
to eat a plate of beans.

You think you go unrecognized
in this world, Calamity Jane?

You're a hearty blossom but perhaps

my luck is truly about to change.

Don't make this hard, girl!

I wanted to be famous, not like this!

Killin' a woman, you're practically

a man so you'll just have to do.

How'd you get that?

All you card sharks
have a girly little gun

stashed away somewheres.

I prefer one with a little more heft.

Now wait just a minute.

You understand that I believe this

to be a kill or be killed situation.

Kill or be killed?

Why would I wanna kill you?

Why?

I don't rightly know why.

You got nothing to fear from me.

Unless it's about blood money.

That grass talkin' to you
like it does a red Indian?

You wanna catch Calamity
Jane or don't you?

Oh I wanna catch Calamity Jane.

Dang crooked-legged hoss.

Walk straight.

What's that?

That there is somebody
that's had more than me.

No gun

No knife.

No wonder you're dead.

Well sir, only one of us is
gonna feel better in mornin'.

Clover, every path is uphill

and downhill and uphill again.

Time to bunk down.

You ain't used to bunkin'
down next to corpses.

But I am.

Goodnight, men and horses.

Living and dead.

Goodnight.

I reckon you were like that before.

Clover, you are made of gentler stuff.

I left Deadwood in a hurry

and you were willing and available.

I was under General Crook
along the Big Horn River.

I was ridin' Gypsy,
that there was a horse.

At the end of that skirmish
we had a whole field

full of dead men.

Red men and white men alike.

And crows feasting over all.

My Gypsy didn't even blink at that.

And I was ridin' the Pony Express

out of Fort Laramie and
me and old White Cloud

were dodgin' bullets and bows.

And death whistled in the air like

flies on a steer.

Nerves of steel that horse.

Then I traded horses with an
Indian along the Platt River.

He came to regret that because

I outran an entire Cheyenne
war party on that horse.

That horse never really did have a name.

But he was fierce and shaggy.

I should have called him Shaggy.

I also should have brought a shovel.

Well Clover, just might be better

for both our constitutions
if we took a walk today.

We are huntin' men, not lookin'
into the affairs of women.

Wait here girl.

Hey!

Hey!

Well this is a sight.

I got lost on the way to Deadwood.

Yeah, this is pretty lost.

I lost the trail.

But my fiance wrote for me!

But I can't find the trail.

That's a pretty story.

That man, he took me off the trail.

What did he look like?

Just a man.

A dirty filthy man!

But my fiance will take care of him.

I gotta man to protect me.

He's a powerful man in these parts.

Yeah, that's what we all need.

A man to protect us.

Next time come by a
wagon, by the main trail.

This ain't no place to
stop and pick flowers.

Now run.

Run.

He had another woman with him.

Tied up like me.

She didn't get away in time.

You'll help her, won't ya?

Well Bill, I'm buffalo'd.

At first I thought the
corpse we spent the night

with was the result of a robbery.

But now I think it might
be the result of a woman.

That's what these men down
here have gunplay over.

Money and women.

Really a sorrowful thing.

Clover ain't goin' nowhere.

She's more of a town horse.

I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

I've had a sleepless night.

Next we'll go messing for you, gal!

If you don't stop struggling,
I'll cut off your eyeballs.

Don't get quiet, I'll cut off your tongue!

You don't have any use to walk around

and talk where I'm takin' ya.

Seems like an awful waste, Groggy Dan.

Calamity Jane herself.

I was wonderin' if you
was back-trailin' me.

I was.

I got distracted by a friend of yours.

A gambler what called Lemonade.

His real name was Chester Barns.

If I'd known that I would
have writ it on a cross.

I also lament that I
did not bring a shovel.

For I have run into two dead
men in the past two days.

One of which I dispatched another
I think you had a hand in.

That ain't your business!

You're right, it's not.

But you're my business.

Walk away.

Or I'll use the rest of this rope to

tie you to the end of the line.

I've known your knots to be a bit loose.

You're a tough piece of leather.

But I've got someone with peculiar

tastes I could sell you to.

Sorry.

Not much for settlin' down.

What?

Wild Bill didn't tame you down?

You see?

I don't much like hearing his
name come from your mouth.

You sure you wanna do this?

Not so much.

But these are the cards I've been dealt.

You don't know how
many scalps I've taken.

The Indians still talk about Dan Hagen.

And what I done.

I don't know about that.

Every white man I ever knowed to

take a scalp did it out of fear.

Wanted to show their bravery.

I ain't got nothin' to prove.

Damnit!

Run!

Run!

I'm gonna make this real slow, Jane.

You always did have a gentle way

with the ladies, Groggy Dan.

You saved my life.

I didn't save your life.

I killed Groggy Dan Hagen.

Not quite the same thing but worked out

better for one o' ya.

He killed my husband.

He favor a buller hat?

Yes.

I didn't want to come out here.

I figured that too.

My husband Seth, he's a writer.

Was a writer, the dime novels.

He read a lot of books.

He read your autobiography.

He said he could write all those better.

No offense meant.

None taken.

He wanted to stop at Deadwood first.

Interview Wild Bill Hickok.

Wild Bill?

Well he's in a better
position to interview

Wild Bill than any of us.

Wild Bill's dead?

Shot in the back.

By Crooked Nose Jack McCull.

During a poker game in Deadwood.

Few days ago.

But nevermind, had your husband lived

he would have had plenty of scoundrels

in the Black Hills area to interview.

And twice as many in heaven.

Maybe our husbands can meet us

at the pearly gate one day.

You were married to Wild Bill?

Where are you going?

I got work to do.

And it's bloody work.

And you'd best be served
not hearin' about it.

What about me?

I got but one horse.

And you can't ride behind me and

you can't ride side-saddle.

She's a meandering creature.

She can walk faster than you can run.

Wait!

East is that way, put one
foot in front of the other.

When you see tall buildings
it's Philadelphia.

Take his knife to cut you free.

He don't need it any more.

Jane!

You let that tenderfoot gal go?

Which one?

You know the one.

The one that was going on and on

and on about her fiance.

Yeah I told her to just go on back

to her fiance's spread.

I said she could send a
ranch hand if she needed us

while we're tryin' to
rope in Calamity Jane.

What about that other gal?

You know the new widower?

She was a skittish little cull and

she decided to run her own way.

Well if you ask me
she's headed for hardship.

She'll probably be one of them

sportin' girls in Deadwood.

Well, I reckon.

After all this sadness is over

I might just pay her a visit myself.

She just told us her husband was killed.

And I said after a
moment of proper respect.

Thank you.

I brung you to hung Calamity Jane,

not to be wonderin' about the futures

of saloon girls and widows.

And I agree, she
needs to be hunted down.

She's emptying the Deadwood territory

of valhoots and scallywags
faster than we can imagine.

Don't forget Calamity Jane held

cold iron to my temple and
threatened to kill me too.

Like I said, Deadwood
might become a lonely place.

And Calamity Jane stole your horse!

Right out of the pen of
the great Colorado Charlie.

That's true, 'course that
horse was always a town horse

and me, I'm a ramblin' man.

Lord save us, a merciful tracker.

And the time is now,
ladies and gentlemen,

make your way up close, roll up, roll up.

It's time for miracle mystic medicine

cure elixir and tonic show brought to you

by your Professor Thompson S. Scott.

Now let me introduce myself to all of you.

My name is Patrick Aloitious Cotton.

Ladies and gentlemen I bring to you

the Professor Tom S. Scott's
own secret ingredients

brought here in this bottle from the

ancient site who was
used to cure the mystics

of Asia, the far East
and Inja, Inja, Inja.

And here in this country
the lost RattleSnake Tribe

of the plains, ladies and gentlemen.

He has spent time with them,
I have spent time with them.

We know what we are talking about.

Perfect for men, perfect for the ladies.

Perfect for you young children as well.

Get out of there son, you're bothering me.

Get out of there. Get out of there.

A capful of this in the evening will make

sure that they sleep
through the entire night.

Here's what's gonna happen.

I'm gonna present to you some of the

amazing and astounding effects of this

miracle medicine cure elixir and tonic.

You're gonna listen closely and

at the time I will offer
every single one of you

a once in a lifetime opportunity
to cure what ails you.

I heard you're just selling
water in them bottles.

Sir are you accusing
me of filling bottles

full of water and selling them to people?

Water? Water alone that
falls from the skies?

That flows in the rivers, in
the streams and in the lakes?

Who would put water in a bottle

and charge people money for it?

What's more who would be foolish

enough to pay for water in a bottle?

No one, ladies and gentlemen,
not in this country

that we find ourselves
in here, certainly not.

But this the miracle mystic
cure elixir and tonic,

this is the cure for what will ail you.

Possibly not you, sir,
you're not looking well.

One single gold piece,
one single gold piece

gets you one bottle supply,
this supply like this

should last you a year,
ladies and gentlemen.

It should completely last you a year.

And there you are sir,
thank you all very much.

Thank you so much for coming up here.

Now make sure to do this, sir,

you've gotta pay to be
able to take a bottle

with you I wanna remind of that.

Thanks, gentlemen, thank
you, thank you so much.

I wish you'd come up earlier, Miss Jane.

Why's that?

We could have both made some money.

I could have set up a little chair

and you could have sat there and

spun yarns for all the people.

Think folks will pay for that?

Oh, folks will pay
for all kinds of things.

I read your autobiography,
very colorful stories.

Thank you.

Which is interesting, I
think, especially because

you do not read or write.

Fought a lot of plains Indians.

I don't recollect no Rattlesnake Tribe.

Well I did say it was a lost tribe.

Maybe I got the name wrong.

I see.

Here, this, the last bottle of the

miracle mystic medical cure elixir tonic.

There is no ailment that it cannot cure.

Including thirst.

I do have a powerful thirst.

And I'm all out of hidin' medicine.

Not the worst I've had.

I thought you might do better with

a show like this in a town somewheres.

Regretfully, I am not allowed
in any towns at this time.

But you knew that didn't you?

Reckon I did.

I always thought that my Brutus role

in the Shakespearean tragedy that is

Mr. Hickok's murder would remain a secret

but I can see that's not the case, is it?

I took the money but I am no gunman.

My speciality is poisons.

Clover?

Come here, girl!

You come to take me with you, Bill?

Oh I reckon you have one
or two more adventures yet.

I wanna avenge you, Bill.

Caught up with old Crook Nose.

He told me the whole sorry
story before he died.

You can leave it right there.

No.

You got the one that killed
me, the rest don't matter.

I knew Deadwood would be my last camp.

But you can go on.

You can go get our girls
out of the school back east.

They're still young, you
can live peacefully in town.

We gave them up so they
didn't have to live our lives.

You don't have to live
this life no more, Jane.

No, this is my life.

You ain't Bill.

Bill would want me to have my revenge.

Things look different on the other side.

No.

No!

No! No!

You need to drink more water.

Hungry.

I haven't been able to catch anything.

And I can't start a fire anyway.

How long?

Two days.

You've been watching me for two days?

Was you trailin' me?

I wasn't trailin' you.

I came across you in the woods.

Good.

If a tenderfoot like you had been

trailin' me for two days
and I hadn't noticed,

I'd deserve to be dead by now.

What happened?

It was as if you were in an opium dream.

Yeah and a little poison for flavor.

Poison?

Yeah, I reckon.

You see my horse around here?

Horse thief as well.

That's worse than a killer.

Who?

A fella by the name of Pat Cotton.

Got a travelin' medicine show.

He seemed mild enough and I guess

that should have been my first warning.

Well the trail is cold and I'm on foot.

Dawn brings a new day though.

He didn't take everything from me.

Guess it's time to start
a fire and shoot dinner.

You wanna help do this?

Yes.

Yes!

I'm Fay, by the by.

Martha Jane Canary.

Martha Jane.

Yeah, only one person was
ever allowed to call me that.

Will you hunt Mr. Cotton?

At first light.

I think he has my horse.

She's a gentle beast and I hate

to see her in ill company.

You should rest at least one

more day before you travel.

I was born travelin',
Missouri to Wyoming.

Ma died on the way there
and Pa when we got there.

Scalped, both of them.

Me the oldest of six, if you can imagine.

Got any more water?

When we catch up to Cotton
I'll give you my horse.

She's got a nose for towns
and she'll get you home.

You'll take me with you?

At first.

You saved my life.

You saved mine first.

No.

You would have lived.

Might not have been too happy with

your circumstances but you'd be alive.

He said something about
trading me to Indians.

Nevermind.

I did save your life.

Or at least you wished you would

have been dead at the end of it.

Won't you need your horse?

No, when I campaigned with Captain Eagen

in the Wyoming territory, got a lot of

horses shot out from under me.

Got pretty good at scoutin' on foot.

I'd rather stay and help you.

Help.

As far as I've seen you can't track, hunt,

shoot, build a fire,

you freeze at knife work

and pistol play.

I've dedicated my life
to peaceful pursuits.

It's a proper way to live.

Your peaceful pursuits have almost

gotten you wound up scalped in a ditch.

This is the land of cold steel.

It's no place for good intentions.

And I suggest you get out
while the gettin' is good.

I've nowhere else to go, Jane.

You can stay with me for a while.

Will you do me a favor first?

Now we're doing each other favors?

Will you help me bury my husband?

I didn't think to bring a shovel.

When that man Mr. Hagen
was trying to sell me,

he stopped at a trail
store not too far from here

for supplies.

They'll have a shovel to sell.

Took it off of Groggy Dan.

It's probably mostly yours anyway.

That and foolish pride.

Got any words?

They that love beyond the
world cannot be separated by it.

Death cannot kill what never dies.

Death is but crossing the
worlds as friends do the seas.

They live in one another still.

Amen.

And we must forgive our
fellow man his trespasses.

Only God can punish those who
commit wrong in this life.

There a lot of tenderfoots out east?

Paid good money for that shovel.

We're gonna need it again.

Jane, wait.

I need to make one more stop first.

I wanna bury Dan Hagen.

It's the Christian thing to do.

I've walked a few steps from that path

and I'm not eager to walk back.

Please, Jane.

Will you consider it?

I've a debt to pay to you
and the coin is weighing heavy.

I just couldn't live with myself if I

became as bad as he was.

Let's cut back this way.

You don't wanna see this.

Is she?

That's why Hagen went huntin' for ya.

He used that one up too soon.

Do you wanna bury Hagen now?

Cut her down, Jane.

Just cut her down.

Can't dig too many graves out here.

So the Captain took an arrow in the back,

and his horse took two in the flank.

I was ridin' along beside him and

Captain, he just flew up into the air.

And I kind o' hooked my arm around him

so he would land near me and
he landed behind the saddle.

And I rode with him all the way

back to Fort MacKenzie with one arm

around him and one arm on the reigns.

And he was the one what
named me Calamity Jane.

How did you find that?

This ain't real trackin'.

Cotton left a mark on this trail

a mile wide and a foot tall.

If he had left burning torches behind him,

it wouldn't be as easy as this.

Yeah he's ahead of us

but he's stopping to put
on shows here and there.

We'll catch up to him, tomorrow.

Might be a good time
to learn how to shoot.

I don't think I can do this.

If you're gonna travel
in this harsh land,

you ain't gonna end up tied to no tree.

Not without a fight, am I understood?

Yes, ma'am.

Now squeeze the trigger.

Don't scrunch your eyes.

Don't be afraid to use two
hands, your arms are skinny.

I hope whoever you try
to hit is a portly man.

Keep up a good pace.

I'm goin' as fast as I can!

Ain't that the sad truth.

Geez, we've been stompin'
round these woods for days.

I thought the great Colorado Charlie Utter

was some kind of uncanny tracker.

Trapper.

Prospector, gambler.

Drinker, Indian fighter.

Trail hand.

Man of mystery.

Let's not forget to
mention exquisite lover.

Tracker?

Not so much.

Wonder just how hard you really

are trying to work at this.

You told me once that you
were married to Wild Bill.

It's true, we were
married at Benson Landing

in the Montana territory.

We had two little girls.

Where are they?

Boarded.

Back east.

I write to them sometimes.

I don't know if Bill ever did.

Drinkin', fightin', cardplayin'.

That's no way for little girls to live.

That was just me.

Although a lot more people had

a hankerin' to shoot Bill than shoot me.

I'll give'em the edge on that.

Seth started out as
a newspaper reporter.

But he always wanted to write dime novels.

He craved adventure.

Was eager to come out west.

We got a belly-full
of adventure out here.

We got to a stop before Deadwood

and that man, that Mr. Hagen,

he was slouching around there.

Sounds like Groggy Dan.

He said he would take us
on a shortcut over land.

It would cost us less than the last leg

of a stagecoach run to go with him.

Though not much less, honestly.

I think Seth thought that this Groggy Dan

would be the first colorful figure

that he could write about.

But as soon as we got into the woods...

I wanted to stay and ride the stagecoach.

But I followed my husband.

In the mornin' we'll catch up with that

snake Cotton and that'll be that.

Another grave to dig?

You're worried about digging graves,

I'm worried about fillin' them.

True strength comes from within.

From compassion and mercy.

Those are real pretty words.

You read that back east?

I did.

I bet it was in a big leather

bound book thick as a proper steak.

Easy to preach about peace when

all you gotta worry about
is gettin' a papercut.

So I realize of course
you're asking yourselves,

what else can this possibly do for me?

You sir, I've noticed that you appear,

that you're losing your hair and I can see

that's something that bothers you.

Why keep that hat on, sir,
I wanna guarantee with you.

You don't quite understand
the nature of your problem.

The problem is not, sir, that
you are losing your hair.

The problem is that your
learning is so strong

that your head and your brain are growing

so fast that your hair
is unable to keep up

with the growth size of
your head and pattern.

This, sir, will stimulate hair growth.

Now I'm wondering as I look
upon you all right here

you're asking yourselves what
does a cure like this cost?

How much will it take for me.

He's there.

It's true, you are
notoriously hard to kill.

Wonder how you'll fare.

Not well I'm afraid, I am unarmed and

notoriously bad at fisticuffs.

I guess you'll just have
to kill me where I stand.

You won't fight back, I reckon so.

But first, where's my horse?

The horse, I had to
sell the horse to a fellow

traveler whose own steed had come up lame.

This is not changing my disposition.

If it's any consolation,
I was never happy

about taking King Garrett's money.

I had every intention
on double crossing him.

I never planned on going after Wild Bill.

But you did take Garrett's money.

Blood money.

It's all blood money.

Besides, I understand that Jack McCall

has already hung for the crime.

That's what they say.

Everybody knows that Crooked
Jack did the dirty deed.

It's an undisputed fact.

McCall's the one what
pulled the trigger.

But others took money to do the same.

I'm no gunman, I told you.

Might have served
you better than poison.

Not long ago, Ms. Jane,
I offered you a job.

To sit here and spin
yarns for all the people.

It would have been better
suited for both of us.

Maybe in my sunset years.

If you live to see them.

Doesn't seem to be a man left
in the West with a real gun.

Here, this might be more to your liking.

Can't decide if it's better if we have one

horse and one gun and
no horse and two guns.

Probably the second.

So I can come with you.

No.

Not until we bury the snake.

I wouldn't drink too much of that.

You don't know what else
he could have poisoned.

I reckon he didn't have more
than one ace up his sleeve.

Be bad for business.

Either way I've already
saved you from one opium dream.

It was poison, not poppy that did me in.

Besides, I'm a recently widowed

woman seeking her vengeance.

I too am recently widowed.

Yet your vengeance

lies in the trees rotting,
awaitin' buzzards.

You yourself, save for a short sojourn

with an angry vicious
warlord of some persuasion.

Did that Mr. Cotton have any water?

Water? This is a medicine show.

Then best give me a drink
of that patent medicine.

Careful little missy, you
drop a bucket in this well

and you might just find the eyes of

Beelzebub staring back up at ya.

You've already been caught
up in my tawdry life.

Ain't you above this?

Just give me a taste.

That Mr. Cotton, he said that
Wild Bill's killer was hung.

He was.

Jane!

Jane, no!

Then why are you hunting these men?

Jane, no, damnit!

Come on you yellow belly vermin, McCall!

My first mistake was taking a bath.

A bath?

At Wild Bill's funeral.

I had just heard that
Crooked Nose Jack McCall

was found innocent by a so-called jury.

He was about to walk out of Deadwood.

McCall!

You run from a woman?

No, but I run from you
with that throat-slitter!

Figured I'd get you all riled up

the day you decide to shave them legs.

Do I look like a saloon girl to you?

Got this off the barber,
I didn't have time

to go get my guns when I heard you

was snakin' out of town on your belly.

I ain't snakin' nowhere,
that jury found me innocent.

Wild Bill killed my brother, I was just

getting my fair revenge.

You played cards all night
with Wild Bill and went bust.

He gave you money for breakfast

and then you came back
and shot him, in the back!

I was put up to it, I was paid off!

God as my witness.

It was King Garrett at the Crooked G.

What would a big rancher
want with Wild Bill?

I don't know.

Bunch of owlhoots and
villains out at his spread.

Hardcore ain't the one who
killed Wild Bill Hickok.

Who were they Jack?

Who were they?

Groggy Dan Hagen!

And that gamblin' Chester
Barnes, what they call Lemonade.

Pat Cotton was there.

That Wolf called Predido, Jack Sturgis.

Them I didn't turn my back to.

Hell, I kept my back to the wall

in front of all them outlaws.

Well, it looks like you'll get a chance

to parley with all them again.

In hell!

Kindly give my regards to the devil.

Kahn Stapleton, you come
to pull a gun on me?

I come to stop you
from foolishness, Jane.

They told me you left Deadwood

hot on the heels of Crooked Nose Jack.

I wouldn't call it foolishness.

I'd call it a day well spent.

Told me you left town wearin'

nothin' but your britches and a glare.

Shoulda known that's all you'd need.

So where'd you leave him?

Down the path a ways, restin'.

What you aim to do, Kahn?

I'm fixin' to take McCall
back to the Marshals.

They said that trial in
Deadwood wasn't lawful.

I could have told you that.

They wanna string him up.

Well they'll find his disposition mild.

They're gonna hang him all the same.

Damnit, Jane, Deadwood
ain't like it used to be.

Ain't like when you and Wild Bill

and Charlie Utter and all them showed up.

People are hankerin' for law and order.

They're lookin' for peace.

I'm living proof of that.

I can't have you running around

doing frontier justice here.

You're gonna have to come in with me.

No, I got business to attend to.

I'm gonna go get my gun and steal a horse.

Damnit, Jane, I'm the sheriff now.

I was named it after Wild Bill was killed.

Yeah and those same jaspers what

named you law created the jury

that let Crooked Nose Jack McCall go.

Like I said, all the same.

You tell 'em back in Deadwood,

you tell'em you pulled a gun twice

on Calamity Jane and lived.

Damn you, Calamity Jane, damn you!

One swallow.

Better.

That gun is a lot like you.

Small and simple but capable of

more than you might imagine.

Old Pat Cotton had a
store full of bullets.

Funny, considering he said
he had a peaceable nature.

Still, there aren't any stores nearby

where we can replace
these kind of bullets.

A few more?

Careful about getting your blood up.

It's hard to simmer it
back down when you're done.

I dreamed...

I dreamed that that Dan Hagen was

trying to throw a noose over me again.

He'd have to throw
a lariat powerful hard

from where he's sittin'.

What?

This way.

Who's the man you're hunting now?

He's called Perdido,
he's a bounty hunter.

But when the killin'
slows he's the Wolfer.

Not particular about
which he skins either.

You know him?

I knew him.

He was a scout and a tracker
under General Wesley Merit.

Same time I was.

You must be able to out-track him

if you can follow him here.

That's not why we came here.

I think he's trackin' us.

How did he find out about us?

News travels fast in
the territories and,

we've left a couple dead
bodies here and there.

Some of them were his friends,
if you could call them that.

Come on.

First time I've been glad
we didn't have that horse.

Could be a might skittish around water.

You've had a lot of
complaints about that horse.

But I wish we had her now.

You're right, I complain too much.

As I stole her I should
probably keep my council.

I heard you say that horse thieves

were worse than murderers.

Well, I stole her off a friend

and I reckon he wouldn't mind.

Where are we going?

To shake the
town scent off of us.

I don't think I have
much town scent left.

To someone like Perdido you do.

We should build a fire.

Nope.

No fire tonight.

What about a cook fire?

We don't need the attention.

What about food?

Don't eat the wild mushrooms

unless you can tell them apart.

You gonna stand watch all night?

Unless you wanna wake up to a

chorus of angels and trees
full of fried chicken

and a river full of whiskey.

Yes or no would suffice.

Where are you goin'?

We have traveled quite a ways together,

but we are not that intimate in fashion.

Don't squat too far off.

Perhaps you're right,
perhaps I'm a person

who would prefer to have a roof over my...

Perdido, you shit.

I can smell you from here.

Town livin's made you soft.

You think you snuck up on me?

Nah, I just got tired of chasing you.

It's not the killin' that
wears you down so much,

it's my pard over there
what wanna bury everyone.

You'll forgive me if I don't
bed you down in the dirt.

You'll forgive me if
I don't just sit back

and drink whiskey and watch her bury you.

I'm keepin' your scalps for myself,

but maybe I'll skin a little something

to leave on Wild Bill's grave.

You see?

I was just gonna shoot you
between your beady eyes

before you mentioned Wild Bill.

I really wanna build that cook fire!

You say something about a fire?

Damnit, Utter, we
should have Calamity Jane

ran up a tree...

Whoa.

She sure is a crafty one.

She?

That there, that's the work
of Perdido Jack Sturgis.

Perdido's out here somewhere?

Jane, what the hell are you doin'?

This is the barback end
of the Crooked G spread.

King Garrett has a sentry posted.

What does it mean?

Means they got the idea I was comin'.

So this is where we part ways.

Here?

Now?

King Garrett is a very
powerful man in these parts.

This place is crawling with hired guns.

If you think the woods are
inhospitable to town ladies

you're in for an even bigger surprise.

You've learned.

You'll be alright, you can make it back.

You're smarter than you think.

Calamity Jane!

I feel sorry for your poor momma

that had to shove that big head out.

That there, that's Blackwater Bob.

Not much of a threat no more.

Who's that?

Some owlhoot, works for King Garrett.

King Garrett?

Why would one of his ranch hands

be all the way out here?

We're on Crooked G land.

Well I don't know what Garrett's

got to do with any of this.

I don't either but Jane came this way.

Why would Jane be walkin'
across Garrett's land?

It's not like she grew winged feathers

and took flight now did she?

All I'm sayin', we should have cleared

this with Garrett before we left.

Why would we have to do that, huh?

I thought you was the sheriff of Deadwood

and you could do as you please.

Just exactly, what does
Garrett got over on you?

Just as I thought.

This territory is not as settled

as you let on when you sent for me, King.

Settled enough.

I was taken from the trail by bandits!

And now my men can watch over you.

Take you to Deadwood or anywhere you want.

I found out what that man's name was.

It was Dan Hagen.

Dan Hagen?

The man I heard you speak of.

A man who visited this ranch when

you had your little secret meeting.

I will take care of it.

It's already been taken care of.

He was killed by Calamity Jane!

No woman ever got the
best of old Groggy Dan.

And yet the sheriff of Deadwood himself

told me that he is in the
ground, and other men besides.

Which men?

Men I know you to play
cards with a time or two.

A gambler by the name of Lemonade.

And Pat Cotton, he ran the medicine show.

Well it's good Deadwood's got a sheriff.

It's a full-time job just notchin'

tailfeathers for old Jane.

Who is it?

Well the old one, a man
by the name of Mr. Brown.

He's recently deceased.

The new sheriff goes by
the name of Kahn Stapleton.

Stapleton, that saphead?

And scoutin' for him is a man

by the name of Colorado Charlie Utter.

That's welcome news.

With Utter trail-hawkin' old Jane,

her rebellious time is about at an end.

And yet you still have men
posted all around this ranch.

To protect you.

Or to protect you?

I heard the killer of Wild Bill Hickok

was a man by the name of Jack McCall.

A man who you played cards with

at my very own dining room table.

And other men who visited this ranch

are in the ground besides.

What did you do, King?

Wild Bill.

Everybody wanted to cut
cards with Wild Bill.

In my game Charlie Utter was there.

Jack McCall too.

They watched Wild Bill skin me alive.

Though I had been drinking
and that's no excuse.

But he should not have egged me on.

Lost it.

I lost all of it!

First I ran a tab and then I went bust.

Then I had to sign the whole
ranch over to Wild Bill.

Tell me what you did!

What I had to do!

Order some men to the ranch.

Men that could be paid
and bought with money.

I never thought they could
take Wild Bill one at a time.

Workin' together, workin' those angles.

I never dreamed Jack McCall would

drink up enough liquid courage to

take on Wild Bill by himself.

Did it for you.

I ain't the prettiest man in the West.

Couldn't lose this farm.

Not and hope to keep you for a wife.

You already lost me.

No one turns their back on me!

King, no!

You will not leave here!

You got nowhere to go.

You think Dan Hagen's the
baddest man in these parts?

You're hurtin' me!

I reckon you think I am
hurting you, but it ain't so.

I ain't hurtin' ya, yet.

Now get back in that house!

Calamity Jane.

I hoped I would meet you.

They say you're one hell of a gun fighter.

They say a lot of things, I reckon.

I don't much care for your reputation.

You ain't the only woman
what works with a gun.

I never claimed to be.

Your fame don't impress me.

Why don't we pretend we're both men

caught in this predicament?

Dyin' like a man ain't
what it ought to be.

Now the rumpus starts.

Hey!

It don't suit you to keep actin'

like you're a real lawman.

Calamity Jane.

King Garrett.

Am I not gonna get a fair gunfight?

You killed my husband.

Husband?

Guess the sportin' gals in
Deadwood don't know that.

You orphaned our two girls.

There are some, Wild
Bill including I recollect,

that questioned his
ownership of that parentage.

You stand there hungry for death?

Give me a fair draw.

Let me find out for myself.

You are surrounded by death.

Every gun you hired to
stand against me is in hell.

Don't do anything stupid, Jane.

What are they doin'?

Utter, what are they doin'?

Don't wanna go back to Colorado anyways.

I'm unarmed.

I don't care.

Now Jane, you and I
both know this is wrong.

Wrong?

Wrong is you killin' my husband.

Wrong is me wakin' up
everyday without him.

Don't you tell me what's wrong.

Jane, what are you doing?

Get out of here.

This ain't proper for you to see.

You have him, let the lawmen take him.

I'm inclined to agree with the girl.

Shut up, shut up!

Killing this man won't
bring back Wild Bill.

There's only one way to find out.

Please, I know that inside,

you don't want to kill.

I know that you want this killing to end.

How is the West supposed
to change if we don't?

I loved him.

I loved him with all my heart!

Then don't stop using it.

He's a bad man.

We'll rope him up and we'll
take him in ourselves.

What's to stop a jury
from being crooked again?

You're not God, Jane.

You're also not the devil.

Won't fight ya.

You're fixin' to take me in.

What's going on?

It's over.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Who and what Calamity Jane was

cannot be bound by truth or fiction.

Calamity Jane lived outside of both.

And thus ends the story
of Calamity Jane's revenge

as told by Martha Jane Canary,

known as Calamity Jane,
to the widow Fay Pauling

in the year of our Lord 1876.

One thing is certain,

no one will forget the name Calamity Jane.