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1
00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:26,200
Okay,
2
00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:28,075
let's get this straight
3
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:33,075
I don't want to hear another word
of this Y2K nonsense
4
00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,033
Phones going dead, electricity cut-off,
5
00:01:36,158 --> 00:01:40,325
banks collapsing,
or even planes falling out of the sky
6
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,284
The end of the world is not coming!
7
00:01:47,284 --> 00:01:50,242
The numbers in our calendar
will change, yes,
8
00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:52,201
all four at once,
9
00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:54,076
but they're only numbers!
10
00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,701
Mankind has been through this before
11
00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:01,702
At eight o'clock,
12
00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:06,035
a lot of very important people
will dine at our tables
13
00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:08,702
The mood in which
they leave in the morning
14
00:02:09,035 --> 00:02:11,702
will impact the lives
of millions of ordinary people
15
00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:15,118
Our duty is to make sure
that no one's ass gets sore
16
00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:17,535
from sitting on too hard a chair,
17
00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:21,119
that they all stuff themselves
with caviar to their heart's content,
18
00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:26,203
that bubbles of champagne
will gush from their noses and ears
19
00:02:26,369 --> 00:02:28,286
Is that clear?
20
00:02:30,661 --> 00:02:33,536
- Trying to make a point, Tonino?
- No
21
00:02:37,036 --> 00:02:38,203
I mean, yes
22
00:02:38,328 --> 00:02:40,537
Couldn't agree more, boss
23
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:46,537
I expect nothing more from you all
than our usual...
24
00:02:46,662 --> 00:02:51,037
politeness, precision, and perfection
25
00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:56,620
Five, four, three, two, one...
26
00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,371
Twelve hours left
27
00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:05,663
Let's get to work everybody!
Let's get to work!
28
00:03:30,956 --> 00:03:32,289
Too salty
29
00:03:32,414 --> 00:03:33,664
Pour it out!
30
00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,332
Pour it out!
31
00:05:18,128 --> 00:05:21,003
Slowly, slowly, be careful, be careful
32
00:05:21,128 --> 00:05:23,420
Push it back...
33
00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:28,213
Push it back more, this side
34
00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:31,379
Push this side back more, it's stuck
35
00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,379
Stop, stop, stop
36
00:05:35,546 --> 00:05:37,629
Step away, step away
37
00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:54,714
Wow. What a night
38
00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:57,047
What a night!
39
00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:59,089
May I help you, sir?
40
00:05:59,214 --> 00:06:02,380
- My room key
- What would be the room number?
41
00:06:03,506 --> 00:06:06,340
I don't remember,
look it up on your thing
42
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:08,673
Faraday, Simon Faraday
43
00:06:16,381 --> 00:06:19,423
I'm sorry, sir, according to my files
you're not staying with us
44
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:26,382
Would you tell your files
we've been staying at the Grand Bellevue
45
00:06:26,549 --> 00:06:30,007
at Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve,
for 15 years!
46
00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:32,966
My compliments,
then you should probably go there
47
00:06:34,549 --> 00:06:37,049
- Where?
- The Grand Bellevue
48
00:06:37,216 --> 00:06:39,299
A short walk down the road
49
00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:41,342
Hasn't moved an inch since 1912
50
00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:51,967
Sir!
51
00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:12,593
Tonino!
52
00:07:15,218 --> 00:07:18,969
- Yes, sir?
- Can't they see it's not centered?
53
00:07:28,385 --> 00:07:32,052
- I'll take care of it immediately, sir
- It's not a chair you can move around
54
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,635
- It's heavy
- Sorry
55
00:07:33,969 --> 00:07:35,677
- Good morning, Mr. Minetti
- Good morning
56
00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:37,261
- Slept well?
- Like a baby
57
00:07:37,386 --> 00:07:39,970
Our boys will be happy
to carry those to the ski room
58
00:07:40,095 --> 00:07:43,261
Oh, no! My Scott-Pros? No, thanks
59
00:07:43,386 --> 00:07:45,595
I've had these babies stolen from me once
60
00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,511
Not here, Mr. Minetti,
we can take care of your babies
61
00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,636
Do you know how long
it takes to import them from Idaho?
62
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,720
I'd rather keep them under my bed
63
00:07:56,387 --> 00:07:57,721
Did you see him?
64
00:07:58,471 --> 00:08:00,221
- Bongo!
- Bongo?
65
00:08:00,387 --> 00:08:02,096
Bongo! He's a big star
66
00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:06,096
- Really? What was he in?
- He's done hundreds of movies
67
00:08:06,512 --> 00:08:09,137
"Sex Odyssey", "Sperminator",
68
00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:12,304
"Pulp Friction"...
The list is just endless
69
00:08:15,513 --> 00:08:18,388
Such a beast without a muzzle!
70
00:08:18,555 --> 00:08:20,055
I'm sorry, sir
71
00:08:21,013 --> 00:08:22,597
C'mon, little boy
72
00:08:22,722 --> 00:08:24,180
Get up here now
73
00:08:27,263 --> 00:08:29,722
C'mon, Mr. Toby, shit!
74
00:08:31,055 --> 00:08:33,306
We don't have all day
75
00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,723
Is Bongo your real name?
76
00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:43,056
An artistic pseudonym
77
00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,598
I knew it
78
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:48,056
- My mother told me all about you
- Ashley, God!
79
00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,056
Good thing it wasn't your grandma
80
00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:53,724
Do you still work?
81
00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:56,015
In private
82
00:08:56,182 --> 00:08:58,724
- No more movies?
- Ashley, come
83
00:08:59,099 --> 00:09:00,974
I'm retired now
84
00:09:05,349 --> 00:09:07,140
Hi, darling!
85
00:09:07,307 --> 00:09:08,599
How are you?
86
00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:11,225
My God, time stays still for you
87
00:09:11,391 --> 00:09:14,058
And you, getting younger every year
88
00:09:29,184 --> 00:09:30,267
Come on
89
00:09:34,684 --> 00:09:37,226
Seriozh, take everything to the suite
90
00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:43,392
- Let's go
- Holy shit! Holy shit!
91
00:09:50,268 --> 00:09:52,977
What the hell is going on?
92
00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:55,143
All right
93
00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:03,227
- I asked for champagne
- Hi
94
00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:07,394
How about a safe?
Do you have a safe safe here?
95
00:10:07,603 --> 00:10:10,269
Absolutely, this way, follow me
96
00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:12,686
Please
97
00:10:16,978 --> 00:10:20,228
You want to fit a suitcase
in one of these?
98
00:10:20,394 --> 00:10:23,729
You can put the content
into several safes or...
99
00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:26,062
All of them?
100
00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:27,520
I'll get the manager
101
00:10:27,687 --> 00:10:31,312
What the hell do you mean you can't find
my reservation? Are you a retard?
102
00:10:31,479 --> 00:10:33,520
It's that...
103
00:10:33,687 --> 00:10:35,562
Mr. Crush!
104
00:10:35,687 --> 00:10:39,729
So nice to see you back with us,
what seems to be the problem?
105
00:10:40,104 --> 00:10:43,063
This imbecile is trying to convince me
I don't have a reservation
106
00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:45,646
I am so sorry,
there must be some sort of error
107
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:49,396
- Maybe you forgot to reserve?
- I don't make my own travel plans
108
00:10:49,521 --> 00:10:53,063
I have two competent assistants
and they made them twice
109
00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:55,605
Once would be enough,
if it got through to us
110
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,271
You're telling me
the people that work for me are lying?
111
00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:02,147
Certainly not, Mr. Crush,
let me assure you, no need to worry
112
00:11:02,314 --> 00:11:05,481
- We'll do our best to find a solution
- Find a solution?
113
00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:08,189
Sorry, but the Russians
need a bigger safe
114
00:11:08,314 --> 00:11:11,231
- If you'll excuse me...
- No, you're not going anywhere
115
00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:14,397
Get me into my suite first,
then you do what you gotta do
116
00:11:14,564 --> 00:11:18,189
My colleague is already working on it
and I'll be back right away
117
00:11:18,356 --> 00:11:20,482
This is un-fucking-believable!
118
00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:23,732
This whole place is turning to shit
119
00:11:24,065 --> 00:11:25,565
- Do you like chocolate?
- What?
120
00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:27,107
- Chocolate
- Chocolate?
121
00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:30,607
Good morning, my name is Hansueli Kopf,
I'm the hotel manager
122
00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:31,732
I hear you need some help
123
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:36,148
We have fragile luggage
that we would like to place in a safe
124
00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:38,233
Yes
125
00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:42,316
During World War II,
the Swiss central bank
126
00:11:42,441 --> 00:11:44,649
stored its reserves here
127
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:04,234
Perfectly secure as you can see
128
00:12:05,609 --> 00:12:07,150
...See?
129
00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:23,401
We'll change the bulb right away
130
00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:27,276
- Nobody has been down here in a while
- Don't bother, Mr. Kompf
131
00:12:27,401 --> 00:12:30,610
- Just give me the key
- That's absolutely out of the question
132
00:12:30,735 --> 00:12:33,194
- Why?
- Because...
133
00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:36,402
- It's the hotel policy
- Change the policy
134
00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:49,569
All I want to do is drink!
135
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,278
214
136
00:12:57,278 --> 00:12:58,528
Girls...
137
00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,237
- 210 and 209
- Connected?
138
00:13:01,403 --> 00:13:02,362
As you requested
139
00:13:14,404 --> 00:13:16,404
The bodyguards' room is just opposite
140
00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:20,363
We put in two rollaways,
I hope it won't be too cramped
141
00:13:20,488 --> 00:13:23,113
- Sorry for the inconvenience
- Don't worry
142
00:13:23,238 --> 00:13:26,321
Why are you making faces?
You can cuddle at night
143
00:13:31,072 --> 00:13:32,530
Thank you, sir
144
00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:37,489
Mr. Tell, just trust me, okay?
I know this stuff inside out
145
00:13:38,989 --> 00:13:42,114
Y2K hits, no one's gonna have a clue
146
00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:44,989
Not for a long time,
not for a very long time
147
00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,615
No, I don't think
that's a very good idea
148
00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:53,031
Why won't we do this?
Why don't we meet in my suite and...
149
00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:54,531
I'll walk you through the details
150
00:13:54,698 --> 00:13:57,156
- Twelve-thirty?
- Sir, your room is ready
151
00:13:57,323 --> 00:13:58,240
- What's the number please?
- 707
152
00:13:58,365 --> 00:13:59,406
Great
153
00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,406
Okay, twelve-thirty sharp
154
00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:05,615
All right, Mr. Tell, I'll see you then
155
00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:08,116
Suite 707
156
00:14:10,991 --> 00:14:12,532
Here's your room, sir
157
00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:31,075
- Get that asshole manager up here!
- Yes, sir, right away, sir
158
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,451
Leave that, leave that right there
159
00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:52,451
Get out
160
00:14:55,326 --> 00:14:57,243
Whoever draws the short stick
161
00:14:57,368 --> 00:14:59,243
sleeps on a cot
162
00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:09,410
Damn, I can't even fit on that
163
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,702
Pick one
164
00:15:36,078 --> 00:15:37,620
Dear Russians,
165
00:15:38,578 --> 00:15:40,246
today,
166
00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:42,579
on the last day
167
00:15:42,704 --> 00:15:45,079
of the outgoing century,
168
00:15:45,204 --> 00:15:48,746
I am retiring
169
00:15:49,579 --> 00:15:51,746
I have made a decision
170
00:15:52,079 --> 00:15:55,412
Today, I am addressing you
171
00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:59,538
for the last time
as Russian president
172
00:16:08,413 --> 00:16:10,163
Is your TV working?
173
00:16:10,705 --> 00:16:12,205
What the heck?
174
00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:13,580
May I turn it on?
175
00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:15,247
Help yourself
176
00:16:17,081 --> 00:16:19,581
Can't get porn in your room?
177
00:16:23,123 --> 00:16:27,123
In accordance with the constitution,
178
00:16:27,289 --> 00:16:28,664
as I'm retiring,
179
00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:32,039
I have signed a decree
180
00:16:32,706 --> 00:16:36,415
entrusting the duties
of the president of Russia
181
00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:38,582
to Prime Minister
182
00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:42,582
Vladimir Vladimirovic Putin
183
00:16:43,374 --> 00:16:46,124
For the next three months
184
00:16:46,707 --> 00:16:49,999
he will be the head of state
185
00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:05,541
Are you out of your mind? Can you see me
sleeping in this fucking broom closet?
186
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:09,750
Or can you see me trying to take a piss
in this dollhouse toilet of yours?
187
00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:14,084
I know Mr. Crush, this is the worst room
in the hotel, I absolutely agree
188
00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,501
But we don't have anything else
189
00:17:16,626 --> 00:17:21,001
I'm here to offer you a complimentary
bottle of champagne with our apologies
190
00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:23,417
Know what you can do
with that champagne?
191
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,417
Would you like some chocolates?
192
00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:27,292
Listen...
193
00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:30,752
I want you to listen,
I want you to listen carefully
194
00:17:31,127 --> 00:17:34,168
I make one phone call, one phone call,
195
00:17:34,335 --> 00:17:37,585
before you change your shirt,
and I'm gonna own your fucking hotel
196
00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:40,502
Anything else?
197
00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,585
Wait, woah, woah, I like that
198
00:17:43,752 --> 00:17:46,252
I like that a lot...
You know what? I'll take it
199
00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:49,378
No, Mr. Crush, this suite is taken
200
00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,086
The guest is downstairs,
signing autographs
201
00:18:17,504 --> 00:18:19,004
Get the fuck out of my room
202
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,506
Has everybody in this hotel gone insane?
203
00:18:47,589 --> 00:18:50,672
Othmar!
Are we serving penguin now?
204
00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:53,172
- Penguin?
- Yes
205
00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:03,382
Maybe with a little garlic and tarragon
206
00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:06,590
we could sell it as shark fin
207
00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:11,090
No, Mr. Kopf, this came for...
208
00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:14,465
Arthur Duncan Dallas "Ill"
209
00:19:16,007 --> 00:19:17,632
Is not "Ill", it's "the Third"
210
00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,423
Arthur Duncan Dallas the Third
211
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:24,258
To be delivered to his suite
212
00:19:24,508 --> 00:19:26,341
- To his suite?
- Yes
213
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:32,133
Tonino?
214
00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,383
Yes, boss?
215
00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:37,508
Do you know anything about a penguin
for Dallas Duncan the Third?
216
00:19:38,341 --> 00:19:40,174
A stuffed penguin?
217
00:19:40,299 --> 00:19:42,509
No, live penguin!
218
00:19:44,342 --> 00:19:47,759
You wait here and you watch this thing
219
00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:53,092
Now we're babysitting a penguin
220
00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:55,425
These wealthy people...
221
00:19:57,134 --> 00:19:59,426
They'll lose everything at midnight
222
00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:04,676
Morning Arthur, here's your masterpiece,
all typed up and looking good
223
00:20:05,718 --> 00:20:08,260
This must be a complete surprise
224
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:12,593
All we need now
is people to join in the chorus
225
00:20:13,385 --> 00:20:14,676
Come on in
226
00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,426
Hansueli! Perfect timing
227
00:20:17,594 --> 00:20:20,469
- Come on in, come on in
- Good morning, Mr. Dallas...
228
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,761
- I'm so sorry to...
- I know things are insane today...
229
00:20:23,761 --> 00:20:28,386
I'm afraid I'll need to borrow some of
your most talented personnel
230
00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:30,761
- I won't keep them long
- Well, yes, but...
231
00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:33,427
- I'm here to talk about the penguin
- He's here?
232
00:20:34,011 --> 00:20:36,678
Oh, great! He's key
to this whole wedding anniversary
233
00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:41,137
You know, Mr. Dallas, we don't have
much experience with wild animals
234
00:20:42,303 --> 00:20:44,512
He's the gentlest creature in heaven!
235
00:20:44,637 --> 00:20:47,387
He's the mascot of my marriage
236
00:20:47,553 --> 00:20:51,095
You see,
one year ago today my wife and I
237
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,470
were married at San Pietro di...
238
00:20:53,637 --> 00:20:54,763
- Positano
- Positano
239
00:20:56,013 --> 00:20:58,429
A hotel as charming as your own
240
00:20:58,596 --> 00:21:00,596
They had a penguin
241
00:21:01,263 --> 00:21:04,096
It was most extraordinary thing
242
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:09,554
And my wife would feed him
out of her hand, every day at the table
243
00:21:09,679 --> 00:21:13,764
It became a symbol of our happiness
244
00:21:14,097 --> 00:21:17,555
- I'm beginning to understand
- Well, I've written some words
245
00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,389
to the tune of "Happy Birthday"
246
00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:23,389
Can you get us some decent voices
to sing this with us?
247
00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:25,555
- To the penguin?
- To my wife
248
00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,097
Of course
249
00:21:27,264 --> 00:21:28,597
With pleasure
250
00:21:28,764 --> 00:21:32,723
- I'll take care of it immediately
- Good, good, good
251
00:21:36,765 --> 00:21:39,265
An amazing paillette dress
252
00:21:40,515 --> 00:21:41,640
It's him! It's him!
253
00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:44,223
He's here!
254
00:21:44,723 --> 00:21:47,265
Good morning, Dr. Lima, caipirinha?
255
00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:50,015
Hello, Luigi, you know
I'm hooked on your caipirinhas
256
00:21:50,181 --> 00:21:53,307
- It'll make the end of the world better
- The end of the world?
257
00:21:53,474 --> 00:21:56,766
- Y2K! Doomsday!
- You can't believe in this nonsense!
258
00:21:57,099 --> 00:22:00,057
Of course I do, I'm ready for anything
259
00:22:00,182 --> 00:22:02,557
I took all my savings out of the bank
260
00:22:02,682 --> 00:22:05,099
You don't understand, he's so important
261
00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:06,682
Dr. Lima!
262
00:22:07,016 --> 00:22:10,308
I don't want to disturb you,
but I'm so happy to see you
263
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:12,642
You remember me?
264
00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:15,517
Gloria, Gloria Robinson
265
00:22:15,642 --> 00:22:17,767
You did me a few years back
266
00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:20,225
Yes, yes, of course
267
00:22:20,350 --> 00:22:21,725
My lips
268
00:22:22,058 --> 00:22:23,725
Your mouth, of course
269
00:22:24,392 --> 00:22:26,767
And your nose, too, right?
270
00:22:28,226 --> 00:22:29,601
Just a touch
271
00:22:29,726 --> 00:22:31,601
"The Lima touch", they call it
272
00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:35,476
May I introduce my dear friend, Alice?
273
00:22:37,018 --> 00:22:39,434
I'm so happy to meet you, Dr. Lima
274
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:42,518
I've been waiting so long
for this opportunity
275
00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:45,143
What a golden opportunity!
276
00:22:45,268 --> 00:22:48,602
- It's a pleasure
- Could you give Alice an appointment?
277
00:22:49,685 --> 00:22:51,519
Well, I'm actually on vacation
278
00:22:51,685 --> 00:22:55,769
- Please!
- Alice has a problem with her breasts
279
00:22:56,102 --> 00:22:59,352
She had a procedure a little while ago,
280
00:22:59,477 --> 00:23:01,560
and they botched it
281
00:23:01,685 --> 00:23:02,477
Yeah
282
00:23:06,561 --> 00:23:08,561
What's the problem?
283
00:23:08,686 --> 00:23:10,561
Symmetry
284
00:23:19,770 --> 00:23:22,603
Are we even allowed to do this
under union rules?
285
00:23:22,728 --> 00:23:26,104
Mr. Dallas is very rich,
maybe we'll get a big tip
286
00:23:26,229 --> 00:23:29,229
You know why the rich are rich?
Because they don't tip
287
00:23:46,605 --> 00:23:47,730
Puff!
288
00:23:49,313 --> 00:23:52,563
Puff, where are you?
Puffball, your princess is awake
289
00:23:53,105 --> 00:23:56,272
To Magnolia from me
290
00:23:56,438 --> 00:23:59,355
Yes, it's from Dallas Three
291
00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:04,231
For our endless happiness
292
00:24:04,356 --> 00:24:08,106
blooms a Magnolia tree
293
00:24:08,231 --> 00:24:12,148
Happy bride and bridegroom
294
00:24:12,314 --> 00:24:15,231
Here in our humble room
295
00:24:15,398 --> 00:24:18,773
My most precious entity
296
00:24:19,774 --> 00:24:23,065
is my Magnolia bloom
297
00:24:23,524 --> 00:24:24,607
Yeah!
298
00:24:25,232 --> 00:24:26,607
My darling!
299
00:24:27,524 --> 00:24:30,274
Next year will be even better
300
00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,607
Oh, my God!
301
00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,400
Is he really for me?
302
00:24:45,566 --> 00:24:48,483
- He's all yours
- What a cutie!
303
00:24:51,108 --> 00:24:52,441
Come here, baby
304
00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,233
Come on
305
00:24:56,692 --> 00:25:00,234
- Why won't he come out?
- Pussy, pussy, pussy...
306
00:25:00,401 --> 00:25:01,567
Pussy, pussy?
307
00:25:04,109 --> 00:25:07,151
Does anyone know how to wrangle a penguin?
308
00:25:07,317 --> 00:25:09,526
I wouldn't touch that fucker
with a beanpole
309
00:25:09,692 --> 00:25:12,651
- Maybe lure him with food?
- He likes fish
310
00:25:14,609 --> 00:25:17,110
That one looks tasty
311
00:25:17,277 --> 00:25:19,610
Don't touch the fish!
Please, don't touch the fish!
312
00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:24,152
- Call the room service
- Order him some salmon
313
00:25:24,277 --> 00:25:26,027
Not smoked, fresh
314
00:25:52,112 --> 00:25:53,445
Precy!
315
00:25:54,112 --> 00:25:56,445
Come, quickly!
316
00:25:57,070 --> 00:25:58,779
- Madam?
- Madam?
317
00:26:01,779 --> 00:26:03,570
Slap her
318
00:26:03,695 --> 00:26:05,279
You slap her
319
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,780
What does she feed it
to make it stink like that?
320
00:26:29,114 --> 00:26:30,156
Caviar
321
00:26:30,614 --> 00:26:32,614
She feeds her dog caviar
322
00:26:32,739 --> 00:26:34,364
It's not good for dogs?
323
00:26:34,489 --> 00:26:38,447
People in India are starving to death
and she feeds her dog caviar!
324
00:26:38,572 --> 00:26:41,281
You don't understand, you can't
325
00:26:41,447 --> 00:26:44,364
You can't comprehend the pain
of having a suffering dog
326
00:26:44,531 --> 00:26:46,281
You understand nothing
327
00:26:46,447 --> 00:26:48,282
Please, Marquise, calm down
328
00:26:48,448 --> 00:26:51,115
For Mr. Toby's sake,
we'll find a solution
329
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:55,407
I fear the worst,
how soon can you get a veterinarian?
330
00:26:55,532 --> 00:26:59,073
That may not be so easy, Marquise,
it's New Year's Eve
331
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,740
Money is no object with love
332
00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:08,574
She's hysterical, something's wrong
with that rat of hers
333
00:27:08,699 --> 00:27:11,283
I hate that dog, call the veterinarian
334
00:27:11,408 --> 00:27:14,449
I did, he's in Kenya on a safari
335
00:27:14,616 --> 00:27:17,158
- Then call the one in Hinterboden
- He's in labor
336
00:27:17,283 --> 00:27:19,366
- He is in what?
- A cow is in labor
337
00:27:19,491 --> 00:27:22,283
Difficult delivery,
he's doing a C-section
338
00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:25,200
- So what am I to do?
- You know how to deal with her
339
00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:31,659
He's had a problem doing his business
in the snow since he was a baby
340
00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:33,450
- You know that
- Yes
341
00:27:33,575 --> 00:27:37,117
- He can only do it on grass
- Let me remind you
342
00:27:37,242 --> 00:27:38,742
we're in the Alps and it's winter
343
00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,450
Look, he's shaking all over
344
00:27:41,617 --> 00:27:45,451
A doctor should examine him immediately,
every second counts
345
00:27:45,618 --> 00:27:47,785
- Yes, but unfortunately...
- I know!
346
00:27:49,118 --> 00:27:50,660
Dr. Lima!
347
00:27:51,035 --> 00:27:53,118
But Dr. Lima is a plastic surgeon
348
00:27:53,285 --> 00:27:55,076
But he has a medical degree
349
00:27:55,243 --> 00:27:56,035
Yes, but...
350
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,118
He adores dogs
351
00:27:58,243 --> 00:28:00,410
He has two Saint Bernards,
he showed me pictures
352
00:28:00,576 --> 00:28:03,786
Yes, but he would certainly
call a vet for his dogs
353
00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,536
Dr. Lima takes care
of his wife so generously
354
00:28:07,661 --> 00:28:10,452
Alzheimer's in a family
is a terrible tragedy
355
00:28:10,577 --> 00:28:14,119
- Yes, of course
- I'm sure he will help Mr. Toby
356
00:28:19,369 --> 00:28:21,412
Please, connect me to Dr. Lima's room
357
00:28:26,328 --> 00:28:27,537
Hello?
358
00:28:27,662 --> 00:28:29,537
I need to speak to Dr. Lima
359
00:28:29,662 --> 00:28:32,453
Sorry, I don't know any Dr. Lima
360
00:28:36,370 --> 00:28:39,663
Sorry, I'm here,
my wife is joking, of course
361
00:28:42,663 --> 00:28:44,288
Good morning, Marquise
362
00:28:46,746 --> 00:28:49,413
Not at all, happy to hear from you
363
00:28:56,454 --> 00:28:57,664
Forgive me,
364
00:28:57,789 --> 00:29:01,122
I've been exclusively treating humans
365
00:29:06,247 --> 00:29:09,455
No, I guess it won't hurt to have a look
366
00:29:30,123 --> 00:29:31,665
Dear Russians,
367
00:29:32,290 --> 00:29:34,165
dear fellow citizens,
368
00:29:35,124 --> 00:29:38,707
I have been asked
to become the head of state
369
00:29:40,207 --> 00:29:42,291
There will be no interruption of power
370
00:29:42,416 --> 00:29:45,624
not even for a minute in this country
371
00:29:46,207 --> 00:29:49,624
Freedom of expression,
freedom of speech,
372
00:29:49,749 --> 00:29:51,707
freedom of conscience...
373
00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:53,500
Yelstin was drunk
374
00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:58,042
He will wake up tomorrow
and think he's still president
375
00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:02,292
The armed forces
376
00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:10,292
are working the same as before
377
00:30:11,417 --> 00:30:14,168
Our State is intact
and will remain intact,
378
00:30:14,334 --> 00:30:18,418
and continues working
for the safety of each citizen
379
00:30:18,626 --> 00:30:21,626
When deciding to step down...
380
00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:29,251
What is his problem exactly?
381
00:30:29,418 --> 00:30:30,544
He won't do it in the snow
382
00:30:31,335 --> 00:30:34,335
He made that painfully obvious to me
383
00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:36,377
He's never acted like this before
384
00:30:36,794 --> 00:30:40,335
I guess there's no other way to put it...
385
00:30:41,294 --> 00:30:43,210
He crapped on my bed, voilà
386
00:30:43,669 --> 00:30:44,502
I see
387
00:30:44,669 --> 00:30:46,752
Does he sense something?
388
00:30:47,127 --> 00:30:48,460
What would he sense?
389
00:30:48,627 --> 00:30:50,128
Y2K...
390
00:30:50,295 --> 00:30:52,170
The end of the world, of course
391
00:30:52,586 --> 00:30:54,586
Animals have an instinct
392
00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:57,586
often stronger than ours, an insight
393
00:30:57,753 --> 00:30:59,461
Marquise...
394
00:30:59,586 --> 00:31:01,586
You can't really believe in this twaddle
395
00:31:01,753 --> 00:31:04,628
I feel we're on the edge of a precipice,
396
00:31:05,545 --> 00:31:08,046
with all my heart
397
00:31:12,296 --> 00:31:13,421
You see,
398
00:31:13,587 --> 00:31:15,254
Y2K, the end of the world,
399
00:31:16,087 --> 00:31:17,087
what else?
400
00:31:17,212 --> 00:31:18,796
I have to examine his stool
401
00:31:23,712 --> 00:31:26,129
What did you do with the excrement?
402
00:31:28,463 --> 00:31:30,547
- What?
- From the Marquise
403
00:31:31,130 --> 00:31:33,130
- Laundry room
- With the regular bedding?
404
00:31:33,297 --> 00:31:36,588
What were we supposed to do,
put it in the dishwasher?
405
00:31:36,797 --> 00:31:38,797
Find it, right away
406
00:31:40,797 --> 00:31:45,256
Zula, really?
No respect for the Marquise's poo!
407
00:31:59,048 --> 00:32:00,298
Found it!
408
00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:05,674
I feel like Cinderella
409
00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:09,049
Except we'll never go to the fucking ball
410
00:32:09,382 --> 00:32:10,674
At least not tonight
411
00:32:27,341 --> 00:32:29,133
Oh, my God!
412
00:32:31,591 --> 00:32:32,800
Thanks
413
00:32:39,341 --> 00:32:41,259
Will there be anything else?
414
00:32:42,176 --> 00:32:44,176
No, thanks so much, Mrs. Frautschi
415
00:32:44,342 --> 00:32:45,801
At your service, madam
416
00:33:39,387 --> 00:33:41,220
Madam, can I help you?
417
00:33:41,345 --> 00:33:43,804
Can I take your suitcase?
I'll take this for you
418
00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,346
May I help you, sir?
419
00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:58,471
We travel here for Mr. Crush,
to see him in this hotel
420
00:33:58,638 --> 00:34:02,763
- You have an appointment with Mr. Crush?
- No, making surprise
421
00:34:04,138 --> 00:34:05,471
He is here, yes?
422
00:34:05,638 --> 00:34:10,055
Sorry, the hotel doesn't give out
that kind of information regarding guests
423
00:34:11,638 --> 00:34:13,096
Would you like to leave a message?
424
00:34:13,431 --> 00:34:15,514
I am his son
425
00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:20,139
I will notify Mr. Crush of your arrival
426
00:34:22,806 --> 00:34:25,306
Welcome to the Hammam Experience!
427
00:34:25,431 --> 00:34:27,306
I'm Baba Paramahansa Ravi
428
00:34:27,472 --> 00:34:30,639
I will be taking care of you personally
429
00:34:30,806 --> 00:34:32,640
Please, follow me
430
00:34:33,807 --> 00:34:38,223
You will start with our famous foot ritual
in the Infinity Room
431
00:34:38,390 --> 00:34:40,515
I'm ticklish, though, just so you know
432
00:34:50,724 --> 00:34:53,516
- There's no answer
- There is no answer in his room
433
00:34:55,308 --> 00:34:58,224
- There is no answer in his room
- Yeah?
434
00:34:59,141 --> 00:35:01,266
You can wait in the lobby, if you want
435
00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:03,141
- Lobby
- Lobby
436
00:35:03,308 --> 00:35:04,308
Yeah, lobby
437
00:35:04,641 --> 00:35:07,308
Good morning
and welcome to the Palace hotel
438
00:35:07,433 --> 00:35:11,642
Please, allow us to take care
of your coats and the luggage
439
00:35:12,475 --> 00:35:13,517
Yes?
440
00:35:14,434 --> 00:35:17,392
So, my name is Hansueli Kopf
and I'm the manager
441
00:35:23,267 --> 00:35:25,350
Why don't you have something to eat?
442
00:35:25,517 --> 00:35:27,810
On the house, smoked salmon, caviar...
443
00:35:28,143 --> 00:35:29,143
Some oysters perhaps?
444
00:35:30,226 --> 00:35:31,810
Something to eat?
445
00:35:32,476 --> 00:35:33,518
Soup?
446
00:35:33,685 --> 00:35:36,560
- Where are you arriving from?
- Ceské Budejovice
447
00:35:37,476 --> 00:35:39,685
- Is it a long way?
- Very long
448
00:35:39,810 --> 00:35:42,685
Changing trains, Vienna and Zurich...
449
00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:46,727
- You have soup?
- Yes, a lot of soup
450
00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,102
Girls are cold
451
00:35:49,269 --> 00:35:51,352
I'll bring some broth to warm them up
452
00:35:51,644 --> 00:35:53,769
Put some dumplings in
453
00:36:04,352 --> 00:36:06,687
What's your diagnosis, Dr. Lima?
454
00:36:07,728 --> 00:36:10,645
I beg you, be absolutely honest,
I'm ready for anything
455
00:36:10,812 --> 00:36:12,437
I'm not a veterinarian,
456
00:36:12,562 --> 00:36:15,478
but I'm certain Mr. Toby has worms
457
00:36:18,145 --> 00:36:20,312
- Is that bad?
- Don't worry
458
00:36:20,478 --> 00:36:23,646
It's common among dogs,
mine had them too
459
00:36:23,771 --> 00:36:27,104
I will prescribe medicine
for the parasites
460
00:36:27,479 --> 00:36:29,271
to give Mr. Toby right away
461
00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:32,146
- But he's not going to die?
- Of course not
462
00:36:32,271 --> 00:36:33,688
Thank God!
463
00:36:34,063 --> 00:36:36,188
However, there's a little problem
464
00:36:37,063 --> 00:36:38,688
I'm afraid you may share...
465
00:36:39,313 --> 00:36:40,604
this affliction
466
00:36:41,813 --> 00:36:43,355
I have worms?
467
00:36:43,522 --> 00:36:44,814
Maybe, yes
468
00:36:45,522 --> 00:36:46,647
Worms inside my body?
469
00:36:46,814 --> 00:36:49,772
I'll be sure when I've seen...
470
00:36:50,105 --> 00:36:52,314
your stool sample
471
00:36:52,689 --> 00:36:53,814
My what?
472
00:36:54,189 --> 00:36:56,147
Your stool
473
00:37:24,357 --> 00:37:26,566
Puff! Puff, look!
474
00:37:26,691 --> 00:37:29,316
- What?
- We're on the front cover again
475
00:37:37,316 --> 00:37:40,733
Why do you have to get
so carried away, Puff?
476
00:37:41,067 --> 00:37:45,150
- I didn't even have time to dry my hair
- Hyenas!
477
00:37:45,275 --> 00:37:47,317
Scumbucket hacks!
478
00:37:54,067 --> 00:37:56,651
All they ever write about day after day
479
00:37:56,818 --> 00:37:58,193
is how much...
480
00:38:00,484 --> 00:38:03,109
you're going to inherit from me...
481
00:38:03,818 --> 00:38:05,776
come tomorrow
482
00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:10,151
Don't get so upset, Puff,
your blood pressure
483
00:38:12,443 --> 00:38:14,484
Honey, you already took one
484
00:38:14,651 --> 00:38:16,319
And without water?
485
00:38:28,777 --> 00:38:29,819
That's better
486
00:38:36,611 --> 00:38:38,236
Here he comes
487
00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:44,111
- Go and tell him
- Me?
488
00:38:44,236 --> 00:38:46,320
Yeah, it might be easier
to hear it from you
489
00:38:48,611 --> 00:38:51,486
Could I have a bottle of Bollinger
and two glasses?
490
00:38:51,653 --> 00:38:53,237
Would you like anything else?
491
00:38:53,487 --> 00:38:57,612
- Yes, a couple of hot super models
- Not on the menu, sir
492
00:38:58,404 --> 00:38:59,612
Sir
493
00:39:00,404 --> 00:39:02,487
- Your son is here
- What?
494
00:39:02,612 --> 00:39:04,529
Your son is here
495
00:39:04,654 --> 00:39:06,821
A son? I don't have a son
496
00:39:14,322 --> 00:39:15,655
At last!
497
00:39:16,363 --> 00:39:17,655
Give me a hug!
498
00:39:19,322 --> 00:39:22,738
- Who the hell are you?
- It's me, I'm your son, Vaclav!
499
00:39:23,113 --> 00:39:24,822
Listen to me, asshole
500
00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,155
Stay the fuck away
or I'll call security
501
00:39:27,613 --> 00:39:31,448
Dad, we came all the way
to see you from Ceské Budejovice
502
00:39:31,614 --> 00:39:33,114
"Budejoic", what? "Bude"...
503
00:39:33,281 --> 00:39:36,448
- So you can meet your family
- My family? I don't have a family
504
00:39:37,073 --> 00:39:40,656
These are your granddaughters,
Ivanka and Jaromira
505
00:39:40,823 --> 00:39:43,739
Listen, I don't know you, okay?
So scram...
506
00:39:44,114 --> 00:39:45,323
They are twins
507
00:39:45,448 --> 00:39:48,490
We used artificial insemination
508
00:39:49,199 --> 00:39:50,157
Dad...
509
00:39:50,324 --> 00:39:55,240
I write so many letters to you, remember?
I even sent you wooden squirrel
510
00:39:55,407 --> 00:39:59,324
- So cute, right?
- Get the fuck out of my face, you clown
511
00:39:59,490 --> 00:40:02,574
Incredible! How can he be so inhuman?
512
00:40:02,740 --> 00:40:05,490
I am the fruit of your college love
513
00:40:05,615 --> 00:40:09,158
When you were in Prague for two days...
This is mama back then
514
00:40:09,325 --> 00:40:14,200
Take one more step, I'm gonna bust
your fucking nose wide open, hear me?
515
00:40:14,366 --> 00:40:16,658
You gave her a keychain
that said "Chevrolet"
516
00:40:16,825 --> 00:40:20,075
I've never been to Prague,
I don't even know where Prague is
517
00:40:20,825 --> 00:40:22,491
You, sir, are heartless
518
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,159
- And on a day like this?
- Do you have a light, sweetheart?
519
00:40:28,617 --> 00:40:30,326
Please, please, please
520
00:40:30,492 --> 00:40:34,659
This must be settled calmly, in private,
please, there are other guests
521
00:40:36,576 --> 00:40:39,201
Your papa is nervous,
this must be a shock for him
522
00:40:39,326 --> 00:40:42,409
You must give him some time, don't worry
523
00:40:47,535 --> 00:40:50,410
A penguin! A penguin! A penguin!
524
00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:52,160
- Tonino?
- Yes, boss?
525
00:40:52,327 --> 00:40:55,243
Mr. Dallas's mascot is wandering around
outside The Gringo
526
00:40:55,368 --> 00:40:57,410
Get it out of here immediately
527
00:40:57,577 --> 00:41:00,327
Come on, it's just a penguin, come, come
528
00:41:09,411 --> 00:41:10,494
Come
529
00:41:15,119 --> 00:41:16,328
So, here...
530
00:41:16,453 --> 00:41:18,619
You will be comfortable here for now
531
00:41:18,744 --> 00:41:22,370
At the moment it's peaceful,
and then we will see
532
00:41:25,204 --> 00:41:26,204
Oh, my god
533
00:41:34,329 --> 00:41:36,204
Can I help you, sir?
534
00:41:44,121 --> 00:41:46,163
- Good afternoon, sir
- Caspar Tell
535
00:41:46,288 --> 00:41:48,496
I have an appointment with Mr. Crush,
in the lobby bar
536
00:41:48,663 --> 00:41:51,205
- Mr. Crush
- I don't know Mr. Crush personally
537
00:41:51,330 --> 00:41:54,288
- Perhaps someone could lead me to him?
- Certainly
538
00:41:55,788 --> 00:41:57,580
Mr. Crush in the lobby
539
00:41:58,539 --> 00:42:00,247
Follow him
540
00:42:00,414 --> 00:42:02,206
- Thank you
- You're welcome
541
00:42:02,372 --> 00:42:04,622
As I was saying, Marco called...
542
00:42:05,622 --> 00:42:06,747
Thank you
543
00:42:08,581 --> 00:42:10,164
Mr. Crush?
544
00:42:10,289 --> 00:42:14,664
- Mr. Tell! Take a load off, have a seat
- Yeah, yes
545
00:42:17,207 --> 00:42:19,415
I was afraid I might not recognize you
from your photos
546
00:42:20,290 --> 00:42:21,832
From my photos?
547
00:42:22,165 --> 00:42:24,498
Well, I pride myself on being thorough
548
00:42:24,665 --> 00:42:27,498
The bank always runs a thorough
background check on prospective clients
549
00:42:27,790 --> 00:42:30,332
Yeah, well, that's good to know
550
00:42:30,498 --> 00:42:34,498
I mean, background checks are...
I'd expect nothing less, believe me
551
00:42:35,333 --> 00:42:37,666
I know you gotta run
back to your office, but...
552
00:42:38,166 --> 00:42:40,583
today is a very special day
553
00:42:40,708 --> 00:42:42,333
A drop of champagne with me?
554
00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:45,333
Yes, please
555
00:42:46,499 --> 00:42:47,499
Thank you
556
00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:49,791
There we go
557
00:42:50,499 --> 00:42:51,624
I shouldn't...
558
00:42:53,166 --> 00:42:54,667
- Prost!
- Prost
559
00:42:57,834 --> 00:42:59,709
I'm very grateful
for the invitation, Mr. Crush
560
00:43:00,084 --> 00:43:02,125
I was here once, when I was seven
561
00:43:02,250 --> 00:43:05,167
My whole first grade class came
and we met Father Christmas
562
00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:06,625
I always wanted to come back again
563
00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:09,792
Did you bring that little thing
we've discussed?
564
00:43:10,667 --> 00:43:12,835
Well, that's the thing, Mr. Crush
565
00:43:13,168 --> 00:43:16,210
I ran another check on your portfolio
right after we spoke this morning
566
00:43:16,835 --> 00:43:19,335
The numbers don't entirely add up
567
00:43:19,501 --> 00:43:22,710
You see? There seems to be
a difference of three zeros
568
00:43:22,835 --> 00:43:25,293
- Three zeros
- Caspar, listen to me
569
00:43:25,460 --> 00:43:30,251
Computers worldwide are about to crash
because of a "difference of zeros"
570
00:43:30,376 --> 00:43:35,169
They gonna read 2000 as zeros,
only zeros, zeros here, zeros there...
571
00:43:35,294 --> 00:43:39,461
The whole world is going to be zeros,
so an extra zero or two, who'll notice?
572
00:43:39,627 --> 00:43:42,669
Me, it's my job to notice those things
573
00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:45,419
- I've been a bank auditor for 31 years
- Exactly!
574
00:43:45,544 --> 00:43:49,086
Now, by this time tomorrow,
575
00:43:49,212 --> 00:43:51,670
we'll be two of the richest men
on the planet, all right?
576
00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:54,378
Should we drink to that? Prost!
577
00:43:54,795 --> 00:43:56,170
Prost!
578
00:44:01,128 --> 00:44:02,503
You know what?
579
00:44:02,670 --> 00:44:05,170
The walls have ears in here,
why don't we...
580
00:44:05,337 --> 00:44:07,545
go out on the terrace?
581
00:44:19,421 --> 00:44:23,171
In people's minds,
New Year is one precise moment, okay?
582
00:44:23,338 --> 00:44:26,755
The stroke of midnight,
that's fine, but midnight where?
583
00:44:27,380 --> 00:44:30,505
In Tokyo? In Hawaii? Right here?
584
00:44:30,672 --> 00:44:34,589
New Year's is a bust out
twenty-four fucking hours, Caspar
585
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:39,214
So listen to me, you do your part
and this afternoon the rest is easy
586
00:44:39,755 --> 00:44:44,214
The funds get wired to London,
then to New York, LA, Honolulu...
587
00:44:44,339 --> 00:44:47,340
each time reaching its destination
earlier than it was sent
588
00:44:47,506 --> 00:44:52,215
Well, I suppose, if the credit
was logged prior to the debit,
589
00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:55,423
assuming the amount clears before...
590
00:44:55,590 --> 00:44:57,756
We're traveling back in time, Caspar
591
00:44:58,090 --> 00:45:00,548
Like a science fiction thriller
592
00:45:01,673 --> 00:45:05,674
Alright? We put this tired old century
in suspended animation
593
00:45:05,841 --> 00:45:07,591
Alright? And then boom!
594
00:45:07,716 --> 00:45:11,341
2000 hits, bang! Hits again, hits again
595
00:45:11,466 --> 00:45:14,257
The whole system resets, okay?
596
00:45:14,424 --> 00:45:17,132
Thank you, Y2K, cha-ching brother!
597
00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,382
Cha-ching
598
00:45:44,843 --> 00:45:46,509
Who are you?
599
00:45:46,676 --> 00:45:49,176
I am a plumber, Mr. Kopf ordered me
600
00:45:49,343 --> 00:45:50,676
To do what?
601
00:45:50,843 --> 00:45:53,218
I put grass in your toilet
602
00:46:06,510 --> 00:46:09,344
A truly magnificent idea, Hansueli
603
00:46:09,469 --> 00:46:11,344
Thank you, thank you, thank you
604
00:46:14,677 --> 00:46:16,802
Would you like something to drink?
605
00:46:17,677 --> 00:46:18,845
Monsieur?
606
00:46:19,178 --> 00:46:21,595
- Yes?
- Would you like something to drink?
607
00:46:21,761 --> 00:46:23,303
No
608
00:46:31,595 --> 00:46:33,428
Mr. Minetti!
609
00:46:35,386 --> 00:46:36,721
Ski room
610
00:46:37,179 --> 00:46:38,804
Please, come in, come
611
00:46:39,137 --> 00:46:41,096
Goddamn snowboarders!
612
00:46:41,262 --> 00:46:43,262
Oh my God, take off the boots!
613
00:46:43,429 --> 00:46:47,096
Bring some ice from the bar, hurry!
Please, have a seat
614
00:46:49,179 --> 00:46:51,512
Come here, here!
Pull off, some ice is coming
615
00:46:52,221 --> 00:46:53,262
What happened?
616
00:46:53,429 --> 00:46:54,679
Snowboarders!
617
00:46:54,847 --> 00:46:57,472
Mr. Minetti needs a doctor right away
618
00:46:59,805 --> 00:47:01,597
A doctor? Why?
619
00:47:24,264 --> 00:47:25,681
Thank you very much
620
00:47:27,473 --> 00:47:29,514
- Thank you, madam
- What is your name?
621
00:47:29,848 --> 00:47:30,848
Karol
622
00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:33,182
- Czech?
- Polish, like Pope
623
00:47:33,349 --> 00:47:34,849
- Pope?
- Yes
624
00:47:38,515 --> 00:47:40,599
- Dog likes play, yes?
- I beg your pardon?
625
00:47:43,140 --> 00:47:44,682
Nice dog you have
626
00:47:45,849 --> 00:47:47,640
But... where did he find that?
627
00:47:47,849 --> 00:47:48,849
That's not mine
628
00:47:49,557 --> 00:47:52,308
Hotels! You never know
who slept in your room the night before
629
00:47:52,475 --> 00:47:53,766
- Yes
- Toby!
630
00:47:54,350 --> 00:47:55,600
Put it down!
631
00:48:00,683 --> 00:48:03,475
Okay, I go
632
00:48:03,641 --> 00:48:05,141
I better go now, okay?
633
00:48:08,808 --> 00:48:10,351
Happy New Year, Karol
634
00:48:12,101 --> 00:48:14,517
To you too, madam, Happy New Year
635
00:48:14,684 --> 00:48:17,601
Is there a special party
for the staff downstairs?
636
00:48:17,726 --> 00:48:19,559
No, just work, all night
637
00:48:19,726 --> 00:48:24,767
And what if the drain in my bathroom
clogged up at, say...
638
00:48:25,142 --> 00:48:26,726
four in the morning?
639
00:48:26,851 --> 00:48:29,393
- I would be there
- Then be
640
00:48:29,685 --> 00:48:33,560
Dr. Lima, are you acquainted
with our favorite artist, Mr. Minetti?
641
00:48:33,685 --> 00:48:37,602
- Yes, we met briefly at the bar
- Darling, boy, how I missed you!
642
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,435
Come with me, darling
643
00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,768
Let's have a rest
644
00:48:45,352 --> 00:48:47,436
Didn't I see you on television, dear?
645
00:48:47,603 --> 00:48:50,186
Have a seat, let me get a drink
646
00:48:50,311 --> 00:48:53,186
I can't, I have so much
going on downstairs
647
00:48:53,353 --> 00:48:55,186
C'mon, not even a little one?
648
00:48:55,519 --> 00:48:56,561
Okay
649
00:48:57,228 --> 00:48:59,519
- Maybe I deserve a little one
- Of course you do
650
00:48:59,686 --> 00:49:02,228
Here we go, to the year 2000!
651
00:49:03,103 --> 00:49:04,519
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
652
00:49:06,812 --> 00:49:11,729
So, I will have to wear a bandage
at the big party tonight?
653
00:49:12,104 --> 00:49:13,812
We'll have to put something on it
654
00:49:14,187 --> 00:49:18,770
You'll look like this actor from
the movie, with a bandage on the nose
655
00:49:19,395 --> 00:49:21,145
What was the name of the movie?
656
00:49:21,312 --> 00:49:23,688
- Yes, yes, yes, yes
- Boss?
657
00:49:23,855 --> 00:49:26,855
- Speak
- There's a problem in the kitchen
658
00:49:27,188 --> 00:49:30,188
- Of course there is, coming
- One for the road?
659
00:49:30,355 --> 00:49:32,188
Yes, a quick one
660
00:49:32,521 --> 00:49:34,646
And maybe you should have
another one, a double
661
00:49:36,271 --> 00:49:38,146
- A double?
- Bye bye
662
00:49:38,521 --> 00:49:39,813
Bye!
663
00:49:48,189 --> 00:49:49,522
So let's get it over with
664
00:49:59,522 --> 00:50:02,190
You must've played a doctor
more than once, right?
665
00:50:02,357 --> 00:50:03,732
Never
666
00:50:03,857 --> 00:50:05,773
Such a cliche
667
00:50:06,523 --> 00:50:09,357
Do you write your own film scripts?
668
00:50:09,523 --> 00:50:11,273
I do sometimes
669
00:50:12,523 --> 00:50:14,523
I used to be a producer
670
00:50:22,524 --> 00:50:24,483
This bit won't hurt
671
00:50:24,649 --> 00:50:26,608
I just need to measure
the bone displacement
672
00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:29,566
Relax, think of something pleasant
673
00:50:29,733 --> 00:50:32,316
- Maybe your next film project?
- Nothing in the making
674
00:50:32,483 --> 00:50:34,149
I'll warn you before I do anything
675
00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:38,859
Did you know that bats
have a bone in their penis?
676
00:50:39,234 --> 00:50:41,859
- Really?
- In your line of work, it could prove...
677
00:50:42,234 --> 00:50:43,150
invaluable
678
00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:14,693
It's so dark in here, Puff,
I thought you liked looking at me
679
00:51:20,527 --> 00:51:22,402
How beautiful!
680
00:51:24,319 --> 00:51:25,861
The Big Dipper!
681
00:51:26,194 --> 00:51:27,236
Come on, darling
682
00:51:27,402 --> 00:51:30,444
I have a star from the heaven...
683
00:51:31,361 --> 00:51:33,236
just for you
684
00:51:36,528 --> 00:51:38,695
The world's most precious necklace
685
00:51:38,820 --> 00:51:41,612
for my most precious princess
686
00:51:42,362 --> 00:51:43,528
Turn around
687
00:51:43,695 --> 00:51:45,195
Put your hair up
688
00:51:58,488 --> 00:52:01,654
Do I get my blowjob or what?
689
00:52:01,821 --> 00:52:05,113
Testing, one, two, three...
690
00:52:05,488 --> 00:52:07,696
Testing, one, two, three...
691
00:52:15,197 --> 00:52:16,614
Enjoying the oysters?
692
00:52:16,739 --> 00:52:20,447
Yeah, I enjoy, my wife also
693
00:52:20,614 --> 00:52:24,447
The disco will open soon, but I have
a quiet place for you for a while
694
00:52:24,822 --> 00:52:26,697
And then we will see again, I guess.
695
00:52:26,864 --> 00:52:29,781
You are very kind, Mr. Hansueli Kopf
696
00:52:33,281 --> 00:52:34,365
As I told you...
697
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,698
Come in, come in
698
00:52:50,282 --> 00:52:53,866
Sit, sit,
the children's program ends soon,
699
00:52:54,241 --> 00:52:57,199
but you can rest here
and then we will find a better place
700
00:52:57,366 --> 00:52:59,782
- They like it here
- Yes, I thought so
701
00:53:00,116 --> 00:53:02,366
- I have twin girls myself
- Really?
702
00:53:02,532 --> 00:53:04,407
- Yes
- How old?
703
00:53:04,574 --> 00:53:05,866
Grown up
704
00:53:06,199 --> 00:53:08,617
Can I do anything else for you?
705
00:53:08,783 --> 00:53:12,325
I would very much like to call my mama,
tell her we are good
706
00:53:12,742 --> 00:53:15,200
No problem, you can use my phone
707
00:53:15,367 --> 00:53:16,533
Thank you, I will be very quick
708
00:53:16,700 --> 00:53:18,742
No, take as much time as you need
709
00:53:19,283 --> 00:53:20,533
Thank you
710
00:53:25,368 --> 00:53:27,243
Mommy, it's me Vaclav!
711
00:53:27,534 --> 00:53:29,326
We're in the same hotel as daddy
712
00:53:29,701 --> 00:53:31,493
He sends his greetings
713
00:53:31,618 --> 00:53:34,493
He remembers the Chevrolet keychain
714
00:53:34,618 --> 00:53:36,534
He looks just like me
715
00:53:36,701 --> 00:53:40,868
Only he's orange, because of the sun
716
00:53:41,243 --> 00:53:42,534
in California
717
00:53:43,660 --> 00:53:46,244
He may come to Budejovice
718
00:53:46,369 --> 00:53:47,827
Wouldn't that be great?
719
00:53:48,660 --> 00:53:50,327
I'll call you back
720
00:53:50,494 --> 00:53:52,160
when I'm with him again
721
00:53:52,410 --> 00:53:53,869
Bye bye, kisses
722
00:53:54,660 --> 00:53:56,869
- Thank you, Mr. Kopf
- Yeah
723
00:53:57,619 --> 00:53:59,702
- Enjoy
- Thank you
724
00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,203
Puff?
725
00:54:17,370 --> 00:54:19,161
Puff, you are okay?
726
00:54:21,329 --> 00:54:22,621
Puff?
727
00:54:23,121 --> 00:54:24,704
Honey, what's the matter?
728
00:54:26,287 --> 00:54:27,704
Arthur!
729
00:54:28,454 --> 00:54:30,246
Arthur, answer me!
730
00:54:44,163 --> 00:54:45,372
Oh, my God!
731
00:54:45,705 --> 00:54:46,872
Oh, my God!
732
00:55:04,123 --> 00:55:05,289
Okay
733
00:55:06,206 --> 00:55:07,873
Okay, don't...
734
00:55:08,206 --> 00:55:09,789
Don't panic
735
00:55:10,581 --> 00:55:12,164
Don't panic, don't panic
736
00:55:13,206 --> 00:55:15,498
God, Magnolia, think
737
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,166
Concierge
738
00:55:37,291 --> 00:55:40,666
- Hello, this is Mrs. Dallas
- What can I do for you?
739
00:55:40,791 --> 00:55:44,708
- May I speak to Mr. Kopf?
- Could I have him call you back?
740
00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,750
- No, I'll hold on
- It might take a few minutes
741
00:55:47,875 --> 00:55:51,125
No, that's all right,
I'm not going anywhere
742
00:55:52,416 --> 00:55:54,126
Mrs. Frautschi
743
00:55:54,792 --> 00:55:56,709
Oh, my God! What happened here?
744
00:55:56,876 --> 00:55:59,876
A guest tried to flush
his banking history down the toilet
745
00:56:00,209 --> 00:56:03,501
- His banking history?
- More Y2K madness
746
00:56:03,626 --> 00:56:05,876
Mrs. Frautschi,
do you know about this Czech family?
747
00:56:06,251 --> 00:56:09,209
You made sure the whole hotel
knows about them
748
00:56:09,376 --> 00:56:10,584
You have to find a place
for them to sleep
749
00:56:10,751 --> 00:56:12,502
Mr. Kopf, on a day like this?
750
00:56:12,627 --> 00:56:15,210
- I can't perform miracles
- I know
751
00:56:15,335 --> 00:56:18,752
But just put four mattresses
in a quiet corner, would you? Please
752
00:56:18,877 --> 00:56:20,335
- Boss?
- Yes, speak
753
00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:22,585
Mrs. Dallas is asking for you
754
00:56:24,168 --> 00:56:25,377
I'm coming
755
00:56:28,168 --> 00:56:29,418
Who is it?
756
00:56:33,378 --> 00:56:35,878
It's me, madam, Hansueli Kopf
757
00:56:36,211 --> 00:56:37,669
- Are you alone?
- Yes
758
00:56:37,794 --> 00:56:40,211
Come in, I'm in the bedroom
759
00:56:48,128 --> 00:56:49,879
Come closer, please
760
00:56:58,545 --> 00:57:00,670
Good evening, what can I do for you?
761
00:57:01,420 --> 00:57:04,254
Arthur told me
you're someone who can be trusted
762
00:57:04,379 --> 00:57:06,837
- Can I trust you?
- Of course you can trust me
763
00:57:07,212 --> 00:57:09,380
- You promise?
- Absolutely
764
00:57:09,796 --> 00:57:12,255
I'm in a terrible predicament
765
00:57:12,421 --> 00:57:15,255
You're the only person
who can help me, I guess
766
00:57:16,213 --> 00:57:18,546
My darling husband is gone
767
00:57:18,671 --> 00:57:22,713
Oh, God, he left you?
He's gone on your wedding anniversary?
768
00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,255
No, no, he's gone... forever
769
00:57:26,547 --> 00:57:29,881
Just as our happiness
was reaching a climax
770
00:57:30,214 --> 00:57:31,881
At least I think so, anyway...
771
00:57:32,381 --> 00:57:34,881
Now, he's definitely gone
772
00:57:37,422 --> 00:57:39,881
Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! This...
773
00:57:40,214 --> 00:57:42,297
This is... this is... this is terrible
774
00:57:42,422 --> 00:57:46,173
- Is he... how did he... Is he dead?
- The worst part is...
775
00:57:46,298 --> 00:57:49,215
I can't seem to part with him
776
00:57:49,382 --> 00:57:52,173
Of course, of course, I'm so sorry
777
00:57:52,298 --> 00:57:53,757
I can imagine how you feel...
778
00:57:53,882 --> 00:57:56,423
No, no, that's not what I'm getting at
779
00:57:59,673 --> 00:58:03,799
Back in Texas, they'd say
my husband died in the saddle and...
780
00:58:04,133 --> 00:58:07,299
I can't seem to dismount
781
00:58:07,466 --> 00:58:10,591
Oh, God! Oh, God!
I'll call the ambulance right away
782
00:58:10,758 --> 00:58:14,383
No, no, no! Just get me off, please
783
00:58:14,549 --> 00:58:15,716
Please...
784
00:58:18,841 --> 00:58:21,174
Okay, very well
785
00:58:21,341 --> 00:58:23,592
Just give me a moment, I...
786
00:58:23,759 --> 00:58:26,550
absolutely understand the situation,
and I'll be back right away
787
00:58:26,717 --> 00:58:28,175
Okay
788
00:58:33,134 --> 00:58:34,217
Really?
789
00:58:34,550 --> 00:58:35,842
Thank you
790
00:58:36,175 --> 00:58:37,717
Thanks so much, Professor
791
00:58:38,425 --> 00:58:40,217
And Happy New Year
792
00:59:06,802 --> 00:59:10,719
I've been advised of an effective way
out of such a situation
793
00:59:12,177 --> 00:59:15,219
Would you mind exposing
part of your abdomen?
794
00:59:21,887 --> 00:59:24,137
It would be better
if you closed your eyes
795
00:59:24,303 --> 00:59:25,137
Oh, God!
796
00:59:46,763 --> 00:59:48,221
Thank you
797
00:59:49,179 --> 00:59:51,554
Thank you, Mr. Kopf,
from the bottom of my heart
798
00:59:51,721 --> 00:59:55,305
Well, shall I start making arrangements?
799
00:59:55,472 --> 00:59:57,680
Wait, no! No, please
800
00:59:57,805 --> 01:00:01,430
Not yet, there is another delicate matter
801
01:00:01,555 --> 01:00:04,389
- Yes?
- No one else can know until midnight
802
01:00:04,555 --> 01:00:06,805
Until midnight? For religious reasons?
803
01:00:07,139 --> 01:00:11,180
- You obviously don't read the tabloids
- No, I try not to
804
01:00:11,347 --> 01:00:14,223
For legal reasons... Wait, no
805
01:00:14,390 --> 01:00:15,515
It's a technicality
806
01:00:16,390 --> 01:00:17,556
I don't understand
807
01:00:17,723 --> 01:00:20,556
- Today is our wedding anniversary
- Yes, of course
808
01:00:20,723 --> 01:00:23,223
- We sang and then there was the penguin
- According to the will,
809
01:00:23,390 --> 01:00:25,723
I stand to inherit everything,
810
01:00:25,848 --> 01:00:28,723
but only after
we've been married a full year
811
01:00:29,681 --> 01:00:31,181
Everything?
812
01:00:31,556 --> 01:00:33,391
It's everything
813
01:00:34,432 --> 01:00:36,682
It's everything or it's nothing
814
01:00:37,641 --> 01:00:39,516
Well, indeed, I understand
815
01:00:39,682 --> 01:00:41,224
Turndown service!
816
01:00:43,516 --> 01:00:45,391
Would you like
your turndown service?
817
01:00:48,474 --> 01:00:51,683
Sorry, would you like
your turndown service, madam?
818
01:00:51,808 --> 01:00:53,725
Turndown service?
819
01:00:54,475 --> 01:00:57,517
Arthur, we don't need
turndown service, do we?
820
01:00:59,308 --> 01:01:01,392
No, no, thank you
821
01:01:01,517 --> 01:01:03,558
Would you like the chocolates, madam?
822
01:01:03,725 --> 01:01:05,308
Chocolates?
823
01:01:05,433 --> 01:01:08,642
Absolutely, my husband
adores these chocolates
824
01:01:08,767 --> 01:01:11,226
- Have a good evening
- Thank you
825
01:01:33,352 --> 01:01:35,810
This will require your absolute discretion
826
01:01:37,602 --> 01:01:39,560
Something bad?
827
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:44,727
- Oh, yes
- How bad?
828
01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:49,228
Bad bad
829
01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:51,728
A vertical departure
830
01:01:52,895 --> 01:01:54,561
- Who?
- Dallas the Third
831
01:01:54,686 --> 01:01:55,853
Fuck!
832
01:01:56,186 --> 01:01:57,561
- The penthouse?
- Yes
833
01:01:57,728 --> 01:02:02,561
- It'll be done during the fireworks
- Excellent, Mrs. Frautschi, excellent
834
01:02:05,187 --> 01:02:07,771
Are you planning to dim the lights
for the fireworks as usual?
835
01:02:07,896 --> 01:02:10,437
- Right after the cow bells
- Switch them off completely
836
01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:15,354
Welcome, have a wonderful evening
837
01:02:16,354 --> 01:02:17,604
Coat, please
838
01:02:23,146 --> 01:02:23,897
Thank you
839
01:02:27,563 --> 01:02:29,147
Good evening, Mr. Madoff
840
01:02:29,272 --> 01:02:31,897
Have a wonderful evening
and Happy New Year
841
01:02:33,855 --> 01:02:34,897
Thank you, sir
842
01:02:35,730 --> 01:02:39,272
- May I have your name, please?
- Tell, Caspar Tell
843
01:02:42,231 --> 01:02:44,189
I don't seem to have
your name on the list
844
01:02:45,189 --> 01:02:47,564
I gave you the invitation
845
01:02:47,689 --> 01:02:50,731
Yes, but your name needs to be
on our guest list anyway
846
01:02:51,439 --> 01:02:54,273
Mr. Crush invited me, William Crush
847
01:02:54,398 --> 01:02:57,606
- There's "Mr. Crush and madam" here
- I'm his madam
848
01:02:58,398 --> 01:03:01,357
Well of course I'm not a madam,
I'm his madman...
849
01:03:01,524 --> 01:03:04,399
I mean, I'm his madam...
850
01:03:04,565 --> 01:03:07,399
I understand completely,
welcome, Mr. Tell
851
01:03:08,315 --> 01:03:09,190
Thank you
852
01:03:09,524 --> 01:03:11,607
- We are business partners
- Yes, sure
853
01:03:12,732 --> 01:03:14,565
Have a wonderful evening
854
01:03:15,524 --> 01:03:16,774
Good evening, madam
855
01:03:17,690 --> 01:03:18,774
Thank you
856
01:04:07,777 --> 01:04:10,152
- There's my man!
- Mr. Crush
857
01:04:10,860 --> 01:04:12,568
Let's celebrate, huh?
858
01:04:13,443 --> 01:04:15,694
Do we deserve to celebrate?
859
01:04:16,444 --> 01:04:19,444
- Yes
- That's my pleasure to help, brother
860
01:04:23,569 --> 01:04:25,903
Excuse me, madam, sit right here
861
01:04:26,236 --> 01:04:27,403
Two champagne
862
01:04:31,819 --> 01:04:33,737
It was quite easy, really
863
01:04:34,779 --> 01:04:37,320
I was surprised
how easy it turned out to be
864
01:04:38,279 --> 01:04:39,487
Well...
865
01:04:40,654 --> 01:04:45,237
you know, the important thing
that you learned today, my friend, is...
866
01:04:45,820 --> 01:04:48,279
the best stuff comes easy
867
01:04:48,445 --> 01:04:50,737
Okay? Trust me
868
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:52,738
I do
869
01:04:52,905 --> 01:04:54,905
Trust you, I mean
870
01:04:55,571 --> 01:04:57,821
I suppose I have to, now
871
01:04:59,405 --> 01:05:03,696
Well, what are we going to do now?
When are we leaving?
872
01:05:04,405 --> 01:05:05,821
Tomorrow
873
01:05:06,196 --> 01:05:07,238
What?
874
01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:10,739
I don't think I can be ready by tomorrow
875
01:05:11,572 --> 01:05:14,906
I still haven't told my mother,
I have to pack,
876
01:05:15,239 --> 01:05:18,156
get organized, I have to...
all the... Mr. Crush...
877
01:05:18,322 --> 01:05:19,531
Call me Bill
878
01:05:20,197 --> 01:05:21,906
Okay, okay, Mr. Crush
879
01:05:22,239 --> 01:05:23,864
I mean, Bill
880
01:05:24,239 --> 01:05:26,656
Here's to trust, okay?
881
01:05:26,781 --> 01:05:27,739
Okay
882
01:05:30,407 --> 01:05:32,532
- To trust, Bill
- To trust
883
01:05:54,616 --> 01:05:55,658
Good evening
884
01:05:57,658 --> 01:05:58,908
C'mon, darling
885
01:06:01,324 --> 01:06:03,241
- It's beautiful
- Yes
886
01:06:10,659 --> 01:06:11,742
Welcome, Excellency
887
01:06:11,909 --> 01:06:14,909
I hope our last-minute visit
has not caused too much trouble
888
01:06:15,242 --> 01:06:18,659
Not at all, it's a true honor,
your party is already at the table
889
01:06:18,784 --> 01:06:22,909
Would you like to join them
or would you prefer an aperitif first?
890
01:06:23,242 --> 01:06:26,368
- I'll join them at the table
- Follow me
891
01:06:41,201 --> 01:06:42,743
Good evening, Mr. Ambassador!
892
01:06:42,910 --> 01:06:46,244
Trying to broadcast my presence
to the entire world?
893
01:06:46,411 --> 01:06:48,202
Sit down and shut up
894
01:06:56,161 --> 01:06:57,661
- All in order?
- Absolutely
895
01:06:58,244 --> 01:06:59,577
- No problems?
- None
896
01:06:59,702 --> 01:07:01,244
- Got everything?
- Yes
897
01:07:01,411 --> 01:07:02,620
Where?
898
01:07:02,745 --> 01:07:04,162
In the safe
899
01:07:04,287 --> 01:07:05,412
Where is it?
900
01:07:05,578 --> 01:07:07,203
Downstairs
901
01:07:07,328 --> 01:07:08,412
The key?
902
01:07:18,912 --> 01:07:20,162
Let's have a look
903
01:07:22,246 --> 01:07:25,246
I'll leave my wife here
and you leave your friends
904
01:07:26,163 --> 01:07:27,413
Just you and me
905
01:07:33,371 --> 01:07:34,788
Behave!
906
01:07:40,330 --> 01:07:42,247
Take good care of Mrs. Belova
907
01:07:45,247 --> 01:07:46,580
Irina Anatolievna, a drink?
908
01:07:58,331 --> 01:08:00,706
This I understand!
909
01:08:02,748 --> 01:08:05,831
Let's drink to Irina Anatolievna!
910
01:08:06,581 --> 01:08:08,456
To your mother!
911
01:08:08,581 --> 01:08:10,748
- And your grandmother!
- To your dog!
912
01:08:11,248 --> 01:08:13,206
- To your father!
- And your grandfather!
913
01:08:14,373 --> 01:08:16,749
To the whole family
914
01:08:47,792 --> 01:08:51,417
- Are you out of your mind?
- Sorry, but this is the best we could do
915
01:08:51,583 --> 01:08:53,333
And it wasn't easy
916
01:08:53,458 --> 01:08:57,543
We had to dig out the right sized table
and push the other tables to the side
917
01:08:57,709 --> 01:09:01,459
Well, push them more together
and bring me a decent table
918
01:09:02,293 --> 01:09:05,293
The table is not so bad, Mr... Bill
919
01:09:05,459 --> 01:09:08,918
I mean, I think it's rather...
it's rather nice
920
01:09:09,293 --> 01:09:10,626
Shut up!
921
01:09:10,751 --> 01:09:13,544
And let me remind you
that you had no reservation.
922
01:09:13,919 --> 01:09:15,460
Had no reservation...
923
01:09:15,627 --> 01:09:16,794
Listen...
924
01:09:17,419 --> 01:09:19,710
I will not sit at this table
925
01:09:22,585 --> 01:09:24,585
I'll see what I can do for you, sir
926
01:09:30,627 --> 01:09:34,545
Mr. Ambassador,
assuming you're still Ambassador,
927
01:09:34,878 --> 01:09:36,920
the situation in Russia has changed
928
01:09:37,253 --> 01:09:39,503
A new president means new possibilities
929
01:09:39,670 --> 01:09:43,211
I'd like to revise our agreement
930
01:09:43,378 --> 01:09:44,920
We all took risks,
931
01:09:45,253 --> 01:09:46,920
so let's be fair
932
01:09:47,253 --> 01:09:49,462
You might not like my line of thought
933
01:09:50,587 --> 01:09:52,296
Look at it like this
934
01:09:52,462 --> 01:09:55,587
There are three of us,
plus three bodyguards
935
01:09:55,921 --> 01:09:58,921
With all due respect to your wife,
you are alone
936
01:09:59,254 --> 01:10:00,254
Are you sure?
937
01:10:00,421 --> 01:10:02,379
Yes, I'm pretty damn sure
938
01:10:02,504 --> 01:10:04,212
I want to re-negotiate
939
01:10:04,462 --> 01:10:05,504
I'm listening
940
01:10:06,254 --> 01:10:07,629
Fifty-fifty
941
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,213
Here is my offer
942
01:10:20,338 --> 01:10:22,422
You take one,
943
01:10:22,547 --> 01:10:24,797
while I'm still in a good mood
944
01:10:26,297 --> 01:10:29,923
Sooner or later,
we will slice up the Russian cake
945
01:10:30,256 --> 01:10:32,464
as usual
946
01:10:32,589 --> 01:10:34,923
And if one day we want to find you,
947
01:10:35,256 --> 01:10:37,214
we will find you, even on the tiniest...
948
01:10:37,381 --> 01:10:39,506
Hawaiian island
949
01:10:40,423 --> 01:10:42,756
- Two?
- Don't push it, my boy
950
01:10:43,756 --> 01:10:47,257
Don't push it, my patience has limits
951
01:10:47,424 --> 01:10:49,424
I was only joking
952
01:10:50,465 --> 01:10:52,507
Joking? The key
953
01:11:09,550 --> 01:11:11,216
Let me see
954
01:11:11,383 --> 01:11:12,758
Very good
955
01:11:13,425 --> 01:11:15,508
Okay, as soon as you're finished...
956
01:11:17,175 --> 01:11:19,175
Third time today!
957
01:11:19,716 --> 01:11:22,259
Show your face, you son of a bitch!
958
01:11:32,884 --> 01:11:34,676
Here it comes!
959
01:11:35,301 --> 01:11:37,592
Caviar a go-go!
960
01:11:43,718 --> 01:11:44,760
There she is
961
01:11:44,885 --> 01:11:47,593
Darling! You look sensational!
962
01:11:47,718 --> 01:11:50,927
Stunning! Absolutely stunning!
963
01:11:51,385 --> 01:11:52,927
Where's our lucky man?
964
01:11:54,677 --> 01:11:56,343
Arthur...
965
01:11:57,260 --> 01:11:59,594
Arthur sends his apologies
966
01:11:59,719 --> 01:12:01,886
He had another sleepless night
967
01:12:02,219 --> 01:12:03,636
I know something about that
968
01:12:04,386 --> 01:12:07,928
He decided to take a short nap,
but he'll join us soon
969
01:12:08,303 --> 01:12:11,261
He wants his beauty sleep
before coming to surprise us
970
01:12:11,386 --> 01:12:13,386
Handsome as Sean Connery
971
01:12:18,304 --> 01:12:19,554
How are you?
972
01:12:20,679 --> 01:12:23,429
It's such a significant day,
973
01:12:24,220 --> 01:12:25,929
especially for you
974
01:12:27,429 --> 01:12:28,512
It's so...
975
01:12:29,595 --> 01:12:31,887
It's hard to put into words
976
01:12:33,179 --> 01:12:34,554
We were so happy...
977
01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:36,429
We are, we are...
978
01:12:36,596 --> 01:12:39,721
so happy, we always will be
979
01:12:47,221 --> 01:12:48,430
Welcome back
980
01:12:53,930 --> 01:12:58,264
What did you scarf down?
981
01:13:00,847 --> 01:13:05,347
My friends,
let's toast our new leader,
982
01:13:06,306 --> 01:13:08,556
who will take care of us
983
01:13:09,764 --> 01:13:12,764
for many, many years to come!
984
01:13:28,723 --> 01:13:29,807
What?
985
01:13:29,932 --> 01:13:33,599
I wonder if I can bring my mother!
986
01:13:34,266 --> 01:13:37,391
I can't leave her alone, I'm all she's got
987
01:13:37,516 --> 01:13:40,433
- Your mother?
- Yes, my mother
988
01:13:42,558 --> 01:13:45,308
Bring your mother, bring whoever
the hell you want, I don't care
989
01:13:45,433 --> 01:13:48,683
Really? That's so nice, Bill, I...
990
01:13:48,808 --> 01:13:50,308
She's gonna die soon
991
01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:55,267
She's 98, I think she's gonna die soon
992
01:13:56,267 --> 01:13:57,475
Great
993
01:13:58,559 --> 01:14:00,559
And she likes hot weather
994
01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:05,475
Hot weather!
I'm saying, she likes it hot
995
01:14:05,642 --> 01:14:07,684
Hot! My mama!
996
01:14:07,850 --> 01:14:10,310
Mama likes hot, so...
997
01:14:19,893 --> 01:14:23,685
I'd better go check on Arthur,
he must be awake by now
998
01:14:23,851 --> 01:14:26,726
- We're coming with you, darling
- Maybe we should all go?
999
01:14:26,851 --> 01:14:31,686
- Let's give Arthur a surprise!
- No, no, that's a very bad idea
1000
01:14:32,727 --> 01:14:36,477
You know Arthur, he'd be embarrassed
to be seen without his bowtie
1001
01:14:37,227 --> 01:14:39,811
Ok, we'll wait here patiently
1002
01:14:39,936 --> 01:14:42,269
- But hurry up, please
- We won't touch the cake
1003
01:14:42,602 --> 01:14:45,936
We'll certainly be down for the fireworks,
Arthur loves fireworks
1004
01:14:59,937 --> 01:15:02,437
I must go to the men's room, Bill
1005
01:15:06,813 --> 01:15:08,188
I really must
1006
01:15:08,354 --> 01:15:09,938
Now? What about your caviar?
1007
01:15:11,271 --> 01:15:14,438
No... I'm so sorry, Bill, I...
1008
01:15:15,688 --> 01:15:17,188
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
1009
01:15:18,771 --> 01:15:20,188
Sorry, sorry!
1010
01:15:22,604 --> 01:15:24,189
I'm so sorry, I...
1011
01:15:28,939 --> 01:15:31,230
I'm sorry, really, you...
1012
01:15:32,605 --> 01:15:33,605
Sorry
1013
01:15:36,439 --> 01:15:37,897
Sorry, I'm sorry
1014
01:15:41,480 --> 01:15:43,190
- Sorry!
- Be more careful
1015
01:15:43,315 --> 01:15:44,648
Yeah, madam, sorry
1016
01:16:08,649 --> 01:16:10,232
Oh, God!
1017
01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:12,941
What have you done, Caspar?
1018
01:16:13,732 --> 01:16:16,732
What have you done? How could you?
1019
01:16:16,857 --> 01:16:21,692
After so many years of diligence!
1020
01:16:29,608 --> 01:16:32,275
I deserve to be seeing penguins
and hearing voices...
1021
01:16:42,484 --> 01:16:44,484
Gimme a drag
1022
01:16:46,276 --> 01:16:49,734
Look at that poor baby,
he's waiting for his mommy
1023
01:16:49,901 --> 01:16:52,443
I bet he needs help
1024
01:16:54,776 --> 01:16:56,777
Hi, I'm your mommy
1025
01:16:59,652 --> 01:17:02,444
- Help yourself
- Go ahead!
1026
01:17:02,569 --> 01:17:04,694
No, I don't smoke ciggie
1027
01:17:15,611 --> 01:17:17,570
Is this marijuana?
1028
01:17:20,278 --> 01:17:22,278
I smoke marijuana!
1029
01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:24,778
I smoke marijuana!
1030
01:17:27,445 --> 01:17:29,570
I deserve this, you know?
1031
01:17:29,695 --> 01:17:32,278
Mommy gives you permission
1032
01:17:34,779 --> 01:17:36,904
My name... my name is...
1033
01:17:37,237 --> 01:17:40,571
- How cute!
- Caspar, Caspar Tell
1034
01:17:41,404 --> 01:17:44,779
- That's my name
- I'm Natasha, she's Zoijka
1035
01:17:44,946 --> 01:17:46,779
I'm the woman of your dreams
1036
01:18:18,698 --> 01:18:19,948
Fuck!
1037
01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:22,781
Oh, shit!
1038
01:18:26,906 --> 01:18:28,781
I know who you are
1039
01:18:30,282 --> 01:18:31,657
Holy shit!
1040
01:18:32,949 --> 01:18:35,699
You don't mind, do you?
You're probably used to this
1041
01:18:35,865 --> 01:18:39,282
You know what? I'm glad
I get to see that with my own two eyes
1042
01:18:39,449 --> 01:18:43,199
- I haven't really been hiding it
- It's a monster you got there, brother
1043
01:18:43,324 --> 01:18:45,824
Hey, let me ask you something, is it...
1044
01:18:46,199 --> 01:18:50,325
Is it true that... that thing is insured
for five million bucks?
1045
01:18:50,491 --> 01:18:52,658
It used to be, when it was earning
1046
01:18:52,783 --> 01:18:54,616
I wouldn't spend a penny on it now
1047
01:18:54,783 --> 01:18:57,366
You can't get wood, right?
What good is it?
1048
01:18:57,533 --> 01:18:59,450
You could always join the circus
1049
01:19:04,950 --> 01:19:08,534
- Something special, sir?
- Something very special
1050
01:19:08,659 --> 01:19:11,367
- Want to know why?
- Sure
1051
01:19:11,534 --> 01:19:14,409
- Because I can afford it
- Because he can afford it
1052
01:19:14,576 --> 01:19:15,784
Good for you, sir
1053
01:19:23,617 --> 01:19:25,785
That one looks beautiful!
1054
01:19:26,327 --> 01:19:30,535
- I want that one, please
- Good eye, sir
1055
01:19:35,285 --> 01:19:37,785
- Do you like this?
- Yes! Yes!
1056
01:19:37,952 --> 01:19:40,243
Bollinger, 1938
1057
01:19:41,243 --> 01:19:43,452
1938
1058
01:19:43,577 --> 01:19:45,536
Our only bottle
1059
01:19:47,453 --> 01:19:49,911
One of the finest champagnes
money can buy
1060
01:19:50,286 --> 01:19:53,619
You'll never know who invited me tonight
1061
01:19:53,744 --> 01:19:56,869
I was invited by Mr. Crush himself
1062
01:19:57,203 --> 01:19:58,369
Who is that?
1063
01:19:59,203 --> 01:20:00,869
- What?
- You don't know Mr. Crush?
1064
01:20:08,954 --> 01:20:12,287
There he is, Mr. Crush! Bill!
1065
01:20:12,745 --> 01:20:14,829
- This is Mr. Crush...
- Caspar!
1066
01:20:15,204 --> 01:20:17,954
- My best friend and business partner
- Where were you? Your mother's worried
1067
01:20:18,287 --> 01:20:19,829
She's looking all over for you
1068
01:20:19,954 --> 01:20:21,913
I called you a cab,
get his ass out of here
1069
01:20:22,246 --> 01:20:25,205
- Where did you get this tan? Brazil?
- It's natural
1070
01:20:25,330 --> 01:20:26,705
Dominican?
1071
01:20:26,830 --> 01:20:28,413
Natural?
1072
01:20:30,955 --> 01:20:32,663
I'll come back, Billy
1073
01:20:32,788 --> 01:20:36,538
Your guest charged this to your room,
could you sign, please?
1074
01:20:41,289 --> 01:20:42,747
12,450...
1075
01:20:44,247 --> 01:20:45,372
Is this a joke?
1076
01:20:45,539 --> 01:20:48,789
It's a unique vintage:
Bollinger Collection 1938
1077
01:20:49,289 --> 01:20:51,831
Well, take 1938
and stick it up your ass
1078
01:21:57,210 --> 01:22:00,251
I'm sure I know him from somewhere
1079
01:22:07,293 --> 01:22:08,585
Ok, c'mon
1080
01:22:39,337 --> 01:22:40,462
Oh, my God!
1081
01:22:40,962 --> 01:22:41,837
Oh, my God!
1082
01:22:42,712 --> 01:22:45,503
Oh, my God! Don't hurt him
1083
01:22:45,670 --> 01:22:47,920
Please, for the love of God!
1084
01:23:11,755 --> 01:23:14,505
My condolences, Mrs. Dallas
1085
01:23:17,755 --> 01:23:20,630
Mine as well, he was such a kind man
1086
01:23:20,755 --> 01:23:24,589
- You know what to do, Mrs. Frautschi?
- Of course, Mr. Kopf
1087
01:23:24,922 --> 01:23:27,965
Don't forget your Czechs,
their accommodation is ready
1088
01:23:28,631 --> 01:23:30,215
Oh, my God, the Czechs
1089
01:23:30,506 --> 01:23:32,465
Yes, yes
1090
01:23:45,966 --> 01:23:48,757
He would've loved watching the fireworks
1091
01:23:54,299 --> 01:23:57,424
So, finally, your accommodation is ready
1092
01:23:57,549 --> 01:24:00,299
You will have clean sheets and mattresses,
and it's warm
1093
01:24:00,466 --> 01:24:02,632
Thank you, Mr. Kopf, thank you!
1094
01:24:06,717 --> 01:24:09,425
We want to invite you to Ceské Budejovice
1095
01:24:10,217 --> 01:24:13,258
We have two rooms,
you can have one all for yourself!
1096
01:24:14,925 --> 01:24:16,300
Thank you
1097
01:24:16,883 --> 01:24:17,717
Thank you
1098
01:24:18,300 --> 01:24:21,633
- What did you do?
- We're so happy to see you again
1099
01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:23,384
Dr. Lima!
1100
01:24:23,509 --> 01:24:24,634
Look!
1101
01:24:25,259 --> 01:24:28,634
He's fixed them so much,
he can't tell them apart
1102
01:24:31,801 --> 01:24:33,634
Happy New Year!
1103
01:24:35,634 --> 01:24:38,384
Did you see
a little strange asshole come by here?
1104
01:24:38,509 --> 01:24:40,802
He had the same cone hat as you
1105
01:24:40,969 --> 01:24:43,469
He was with three
beautiful Russians models
1106
01:24:44,635 --> 01:24:46,885
Happy New Year!
1107
01:24:48,802 --> 01:24:51,469
Okay, come, come, come
1108
01:24:51,635 --> 01:24:52,552
Please
1109
01:24:52,719 --> 01:24:54,802
Try that way!
1110
01:24:57,594 --> 01:24:58,844
Please, come this way
1111
01:25:18,679 --> 01:25:20,262
Mr. Crush!
1112
01:25:20,971 --> 01:25:23,304
He fainted with emotion!
1113
01:25:26,221 --> 01:25:28,304
Oh, shit, it's a heart attack!
1114
01:25:30,471 --> 01:25:31,846
Tonino, Tonino!
1115
01:25:32,887 --> 01:25:34,971
Olivia! Olivia, can you hear me?
1116
01:25:45,263 --> 01:25:47,680
Try mouth-to-mouth,
I'll call an ambulance right away
1117
01:25:47,805 --> 01:25:50,472
- Mouth-to-mouth?
- Yes, yes, do it!
1118
01:25:55,973 --> 01:25:57,306
Sorry!
1119
01:25:58,889 --> 01:26:00,806
Sorry, sorry, sorry
1120
01:26:02,889 --> 01:26:04,306
Sorry!
1121
01:26:05,556 --> 01:26:06,514
Ten!
1122
01:26:06,639 --> 01:26:07,681
Nine!
1123
01:26:07,848 --> 01:26:09,264
Eight!
1124
01:26:09,389 --> 01:26:10,639
Seven!
1125
01:26:10,764 --> 01:26:12,306
Six!
1126
01:26:12,473 --> 01:26:13,473
Five!
1127
01:26:13,639 --> 01:26:15,390
Four, three!
1128
01:26:15,557 --> 01:26:17,432
Two, one...
1129
01:26:17,557 --> 01:26:19,890
Happy New Year!
1130
01:26:25,807 --> 01:26:27,474
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year
1131
01:26:32,350 --> 01:26:33,808
Happy New Year!
1132
01:26:36,308 --> 01:26:37,433
Happy New Year!
1133
01:26:37,558 --> 01:26:39,725
Happy New Year!
1134
01:27:21,435 --> 01:27:22,393
Tonino!
1135
01:27:29,478 --> 01:27:31,394
- Yes, boss?
- Now!
1136
01:27:35,686 --> 01:27:38,353
- Y2K!
- It's really happening
1137
01:27:38,519 --> 01:27:41,311
Nostradamus was right,
this is the end of the world!
1138
01:27:42,978 --> 01:27:44,603
Oh, my God, it's happening!
1139
01:27:44,769 --> 01:27:48,312
What's happening? Look around, nothing's
happening, they do this every year
1140
01:27:48,479 --> 01:27:51,312
Everything is gonna be fine,
it's gonna be okay
1141
01:28:34,231 --> 01:28:36,814
Arthur, honeycakes!
1142
01:28:37,939 --> 01:28:40,356
Happy New Year!
1143
01:28:43,982 --> 01:28:46,398
We survived Y2K!
1144
01:28:47,732 --> 01:28:49,648
Didn't I tell you it was only a hoax?
1145
01:28:49,815 --> 01:28:54,440
Happy New Year, Amanda,
Arthur's really exhausted
1146
01:28:54,607 --> 01:28:56,357
Well, of course
1147
01:28:58,690 --> 01:29:00,607
Can you believe that?
1148
01:29:00,732 --> 01:29:02,983
Fucking broken-down old snob!
1149
01:29:03,316 --> 01:29:07,483
I gave him his first decent blowjob
and he doesn't even look at me
1150
01:29:10,524 --> 01:29:13,691
My God, what money does to people!
1151
01:29:38,818 --> 01:29:40,693
Tonino, switch back on
1152
01:29:58,444 --> 01:29:59,986
Will Grandpa go to heaven?
1153
01:30:00,319 --> 01:30:02,319
Or to hell?
1154
01:30:02,986 --> 01:30:04,777
I don't know, girls
1155
01:30:15,487 --> 01:30:16,820
Help yourself
1156
01:30:19,820 --> 01:30:21,403
Just one
1157
01:30:26,570 --> 01:30:30,403
Listen, don't drink it all at once
1158
01:30:31,237 --> 01:30:33,946
Happy New Year, Mr. Ambassador
1159
01:30:34,279 --> 01:30:37,863
Same to you, Happy New Year!
1160
01:30:44,821 --> 01:30:47,821
Close that fucking door!
What are you doing?
1161
01:31:21,615 --> 01:31:23,656
Shit!
1162
01:31:46,324 --> 01:31:47,824
Happy New Year, Mr. Kopf
1163
01:31:48,492 --> 01:31:49,700
Happy New Year
1164
01:31:53,783 --> 01:31:56,992
Do you have a spare key for the safe?
1165
01:31:57,992 --> 01:31:59,325
I already gave you the key
1166
01:31:59,492 --> 01:32:02,242
Yes, but do you have a spare?
1167
01:32:02,408 --> 01:32:04,367
No, there is no spare
1168
01:32:05,908 --> 01:32:08,993
Then you have a problem, Mr. Kopf,
because our Ambassador
1169
01:32:09,326 --> 01:32:11,451
is locked inside your safe
1170
01:32:12,493 --> 01:32:14,326
I have a problem?
1171
01:32:15,993 --> 01:32:17,909
You have a problem, huh?
1172
01:32:21,576 --> 01:32:24,284
Maybe? Maybe
1173
01:32:25,494 --> 01:32:26,535
Happy New Year
1174
01:32:27,577 --> 01:32:28,910
Happy New Year
1175
01:32:30,994 --> 01:32:32,369
Fuck
1176
01:33:27,497 --> 01:33:29,663
I came to repair drain
1177
01:34:04,415 --> 01:34:05,790
Thank you so much
1178
01:34:06,457 --> 01:34:08,374
That was...
1179
01:34:08,499 --> 01:34:12,457
the best New Year's party I've ever had
1180
01:34:18,541 --> 01:34:19,916
- Have a great evening
- Yeah
1181
01:34:20,250 --> 01:34:21,000
Happy New Year
1182
01:40:47,271 --> 01:40:50,562
Subtitles:
Laser S. Film s.r.I. - Rome
79448
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