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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:26,200 Okay, 2 00:01:26,366 --> 00:01:28,075 let's get this straight 3 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:33,075 I don't want to hear another word of this Y2K nonsense 4 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:36,033 Phones going dead, electricity cut-off, 5 00:01:36,158 --> 00:01:40,325 banks collapsing, or even planes falling out of the sky 6 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,284 The end of the world is not coming! 7 00:01:47,284 --> 00:01:50,242 The numbers in our calendar will change, yes, 8 00:01:50,367 --> 00:01:52,201 all four at once, 9 00:01:52,367 --> 00:01:54,076 but they're only numbers! 10 00:01:54,201 --> 00:01:56,701 Mankind has been through this before 11 00:02:00,159 --> 00:02:01,702 At eight o'clock, 12 00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:06,035 a lot of very important people will dine at our tables 13 00:02:06,535 --> 00:02:08,702 The mood in which they leave in the morning 14 00:02:09,035 --> 00:02:11,702 will impact the lives of millions of ordinary people 15 00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:15,118 Our duty is to make sure that no one's ass gets sore 16 00:02:15,243 --> 00:02:17,535 from sitting on too hard a chair, 17 00:02:17,702 --> 00:02:21,119 that they all stuff themselves with caviar to their heart's content, 18 00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:26,203 that bubbles of champagne will gush from their noses and ears 19 00:02:26,369 --> 00:02:28,286 Is that clear? 20 00:02:30,661 --> 00:02:33,536 - Trying to make a point, Tonino? - No 21 00:02:37,036 --> 00:02:38,203 I mean, yes 22 00:02:38,328 --> 00:02:40,537 Couldn't agree more, boss 23 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:46,537 I expect nothing more from you all than our usual... 24 00:02:46,662 --> 00:02:51,037 politeness, precision, and perfection 25 00:02:52,162 --> 00:02:56,620 Five, four, three, two, one... 26 00:03:00,580 --> 00:03:02,371 Twelve hours left 27 00:03:02,496 --> 00:03:05,663 Let's get to work everybody! Let's get to work! 28 00:03:30,956 --> 00:03:32,289 Too salty 29 00:03:32,414 --> 00:03:33,664 Pour it out! 30 00:03:34,039 --> 00:03:35,332 Pour it out! 31 00:05:18,128 --> 00:05:21,003 Slowly, slowly, be careful, be careful 32 00:05:21,128 --> 00:05:23,420 Push it back... 33 00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:28,213 Push it back more, this side 34 00:05:28,379 --> 00:05:31,379 Push this side back more, it's stuck 35 00:05:34,296 --> 00:05:35,379 Stop, stop, stop 36 00:05:35,546 --> 00:05:37,629 Step away, step away 37 00:05:53,380 --> 00:05:54,714 Wow. What a night 38 00:05:55,047 --> 00:05:57,047 What a night! 39 00:05:57,214 --> 00:05:59,089 May I help you, sir? 40 00:05:59,214 --> 00:06:02,380 - My room key - What would be the room number? 41 00:06:03,506 --> 00:06:06,340 I don't remember, look it up on your thing 42 00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:08,673 Faraday, Simon Faraday 43 00:06:16,381 --> 00:06:19,423 I'm sorry, sir, according to my files you're not staying with us 44 00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:26,382 Would you tell your files we've been staying at the Grand Bellevue 45 00:06:26,549 --> 00:06:30,007 at Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve, for 15 years! 46 00:06:30,132 --> 00:06:32,966 My compliments, then you should probably go there 47 00:06:34,549 --> 00:06:37,049 - Where? - The Grand Bellevue 48 00:06:37,216 --> 00:06:39,299 A short walk down the road 49 00:06:39,424 --> 00:06:41,342 Hasn't moved an inch since 1912 50 00:06:50,550 --> 00:06:51,967 Sir! 51 00:07:11,551 --> 00:07:12,593 Tonino! 52 00:07:15,218 --> 00:07:18,969 - Yes, sir? - Can't they see it's not centered? 53 00:07:28,385 --> 00:07:32,052 - I'll take care of it immediately, sir - It's not a chair you can move around 54 00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:33,635 - It's heavy - Sorry 55 00:07:33,969 --> 00:07:35,677 - Good morning, Mr. Minetti - Good morning 56 00:07:36,011 --> 00:07:37,261 - Slept well? - Like a baby 57 00:07:37,386 --> 00:07:39,970 Our boys will be happy to carry those to the ski room 58 00:07:40,095 --> 00:07:43,261 Oh, no! My Scott-Pros? No, thanks 59 00:07:43,386 --> 00:07:45,595 I've had these babies stolen from me once 60 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:48,511 Not here, Mr. Minetti, we can take care of your babies 61 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:51,636 Do you know how long it takes to import them from Idaho? 62 00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:53,720 I'd rather keep them under my bed 63 00:07:56,387 --> 00:07:57,721 Did you see him? 64 00:07:58,471 --> 00:08:00,221 - Bongo! - Bongo? 65 00:08:00,387 --> 00:08:02,096 Bongo! He's a big star 66 00:08:02,262 --> 00:08:06,096 - Really? What was he in? - He's done hundreds of movies 67 00:08:06,512 --> 00:08:09,137 "Sex Odyssey", "Sperminator", 68 00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:12,304 "Pulp Friction"... The list is just endless 69 00:08:15,513 --> 00:08:18,388 Such a beast without a muzzle! 70 00:08:18,555 --> 00:08:20,055 I'm sorry, sir 71 00:08:21,013 --> 00:08:22,597 C'mon, little boy 72 00:08:22,722 --> 00:08:24,180 Get up here now 73 00:08:27,263 --> 00:08:29,722 C'mon, Mr. Toby, shit! 74 00:08:31,055 --> 00:08:33,306 We don't have all day 75 00:08:37,639 --> 00:08:39,723 Is Bongo your real name? 76 00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:43,056 An artistic pseudonym 77 00:08:43,389 --> 00:08:44,598 I knew it 78 00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:48,056 - My mother told me all about you - Ashley, God! 79 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,056 Good thing it wasn't your grandma 80 00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:53,724 Do you still work? 81 00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:56,015 In private 82 00:08:56,182 --> 00:08:58,724 - No more movies? - Ashley, come 83 00:08:59,099 --> 00:09:00,974 I'm retired now 84 00:09:05,349 --> 00:09:07,140 Hi, darling! 85 00:09:07,307 --> 00:09:08,599 How are you? 86 00:09:08,975 --> 00:09:11,225 My God, time stays still for you 87 00:09:11,391 --> 00:09:14,058 And you, getting younger every year 88 00:09:29,184 --> 00:09:30,267 Come on 89 00:09:34,684 --> 00:09:37,226 Seriozh, take everything to the suite 90 00:09:39,601 --> 00:09:43,392 - Let's go - Holy shit! Holy shit! 91 00:09:50,268 --> 00:09:52,977 What the hell is going on? 92 00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:55,143 All right 93 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:03,227 - I asked for champagne - Hi 94 00:10:03,602 --> 00:10:07,394 How about a safe? Do you have a safe safe here? 95 00:10:07,603 --> 00:10:10,269 Absolutely, this way, follow me 96 00:10:11,728 --> 00:10:12,686 Please 97 00:10:16,978 --> 00:10:20,228 You want to fit a suitcase in one of these? 98 00:10:20,394 --> 00:10:23,729 You can put the content into several safes or... 99 00:10:24,062 --> 00:10:26,062 All of them? 100 00:10:26,229 --> 00:10:27,520 I'll get the manager 101 00:10:27,687 --> 00:10:31,312 What the hell do you mean you can't find my reservation? Are you a retard? 102 00:10:31,479 --> 00:10:33,520 It's that... 103 00:10:33,687 --> 00:10:35,562 Mr. Crush! 104 00:10:35,687 --> 00:10:39,729 So nice to see you back with us, what seems to be the problem? 105 00:10:40,104 --> 00:10:43,063 This imbecile is trying to convince me I don't have a reservation 106 00:10:43,230 --> 00:10:45,646 I am so sorry, there must be some sort of error 107 00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:49,396 - Maybe you forgot to reserve? - I don't make my own travel plans 108 00:10:49,521 --> 00:10:53,063 I have two competent assistants and they made them twice 109 00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:55,605 Once would be enough, if it got through to us 110 00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:58,271 You're telling me the people that work for me are lying? 111 00:10:58,396 --> 00:11:02,147 Certainly not, Mr. Crush, let me assure you, no need to worry 112 00:11:02,314 --> 00:11:05,481 - We'll do our best to find a solution - Find a solution? 113 00:11:06,106 --> 00:11:08,189 Sorry, but the Russians need a bigger safe 114 00:11:08,314 --> 00:11:11,231 - If you'll excuse me... - No, you're not going anywhere 115 00:11:11,356 --> 00:11:14,397 Get me into my suite first, then you do what you gotta do 116 00:11:14,564 --> 00:11:18,189 My colleague is already working on it and I'll be back right away 117 00:11:18,356 --> 00:11:20,482 This is un-fucking-believable! 118 00:11:20,607 --> 00:11:23,732 This whole place is turning to shit 119 00:11:24,065 --> 00:11:25,565 - Do you like chocolate? - What? 120 00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:27,107 - Chocolate - Chocolate? 121 00:11:27,273 --> 00:11:30,607 Good morning, my name is Hansueli Kopf, I'm the hotel manager 122 00:11:30,732 --> 00:11:31,732 I hear you need some help 123 00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:36,148 We have fragile luggage that we would like to place in a safe 124 00:11:37,190 --> 00:11:38,233 Yes 125 00:11:39,649 --> 00:11:42,316 During World War II, the Swiss central bank 126 00:11:42,441 --> 00:11:44,649 stored its reserves here 127 00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:04,234 Perfectly secure as you can see 128 00:12:05,609 --> 00:12:07,150 ...See? 129 00:12:21,235 --> 00:12:23,401 We'll change the bulb right away 130 00:12:23,526 --> 00:12:27,276 - Nobody has been down here in a while - Don't bother, Mr. Kompf 131 00:12:27,401 --> 00:12:30,610 - Just give me the key - That's absolutely out of the question 132 00:12:30,735 --> 00:12:33,194 - Why? - Because... 133 00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:36,402 - It's the hotel policy - Change the policy 134 00:12:46,527 --> 00:12:49,569 All I want to do is drink! 135 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:56,278 214 136 00:12:57,278 --> 00:12:58,528 Girls... 137 00:12:58,653 --> 00:13:01,237 - 210 and 209 - Connected? 138 00:13:01,403 --> 00:13:02,362 As you requested 139 00:13:14,404 --> 00:13:16,404 The bodyguards' room is just opposite 140 00:13:16,529 --> 00:13:20,363 We put in two rollaways, I hope it won't be too cramped 141 00:13:20,488 --> 00:13:23,113 - Sorry for the inconvenience - Don't worry 142 00:13:23,238 --> 00:13:26,321 Why are you making faces? You can cuddle at night 143 00:13:31,072 --> 00:13:32,530 Thank you, sir 144 00:13:33,530 --> 00:13:37,489 Mr. Tell, just trust me, okay? I know this stuff inside out 145 00:13:38,989 --> 00:13:42,114 Y2K hits, no one's gonna have a clue 146 00:13:42,239 --> 00:13:44,989 Not for a long time, not for a very long time 147 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,615 No, I don't think that's a very good idea 148 00:13:48,740 --> 00:13:53,031 Why won't we do this? Why don't we meet in my suite and... 149 00:13:53,156 --> 00:13:54,531 I'll walk you through the details 150 00:13:54,698 --> 00:13:57,156 - Twelve-thirty? - Sir, your room is ready 151 00:13:57,323 --> 00:13:58,240 - What's the number please? - 707 152 00:13:58,365 --> 00:13:59,406 Great 153 00:14:00,406 --> 00:14:03,406 Okay, twelve-thirty sharp 154 00:14:03,573 --> 00:14:05,615 All right, Mr. Tell, I'll see you then 155 00:14:05,740 --> 00:14:08,116 Suite 707 156 00:14:10,991 --> 00:14:12,532 Here's your room, sir 157 00:14:26,492 --> 00:14:31,075 - Get that asshole manager up here! - Yes, sir, right away, sir 158 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,451 Leave that, leave that right there 159 00:14:51,159 --> 00:14:52,451 Get out 160 00:14:55,326 --> 00:14:57,243 Whoever draws the short stick 161 00:14:57,368 --> 00:14:59,243 sleeps on a cot 162 00:15:07,285 --> 00:15:09,410 Damn, I can't even fit on that 163 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,702 Pick one 164 00:15:36,078 --> 00:15:37,620 Dear Russians, 165 00:15:38,578 --> 00:15:40,246 today, 166 00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:42,579 on the last day 167 00:15:42,704 --> 00:15:45,079 of the outgoing century, 168 00:15:45,204 --> 00:15:48,746 I am retiring 169 00:15:49,579 --> 00:15:51,746 I have made a decision 170 00:15:52,079 --> 00:15:55,412 Today, I am addressing you 171 00:15:55,579 --> 00:15:59,538 for the last time as Russian president 172 00:16:08,413 --> 00:16:10,163 Is your TV working? 173 00:16:10,705 --> 00:16:12,205 What the heck? 174 00:16:12,330 --> 00:16:13,580 May I turn it on? 175 00:16:13,705 --> 00:16:15,247 Help yourself 176 00:16:17,081 --> 00:16:19,581 Can't get porn in your room? 177 00:16:23,123 --> 00:16:27,123 In accordance with the constitution, 178 00:16:27,289 --> 00:16:28,664 as I'm retiring, 179 00:16:29,039 --> 00:16:32,039 I have signed a decree 180 00:16:32,706 --> 00:16:36,415 entrusting the duties of the president of Russia 181 00:16:36,540 --> 00:16:38,582 to Prime Minister 182 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:42,582 Vladimir Vladimirovic Putin 183 00:16:43,374 --> 00:16:46,124 For the next three months 184 00:16:46,707 --> 00:16:49,999 he will be the head of state 185 00:17:01,083 --> 00:17:05,541 Are you out of your mind? Can you see me sleeping in this fucking broom closet? 186 00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:09,750 Or can you see me trying to take a piss in this dollhouse toilet of yours? 187 00:17:10,416 --> 00:17:14,084 I know Mr. Crush, this is the worst room in the hotel, I absolutely agree 188 00:17:14,209 --> 00:17:16,501 But we don't have anything else 189 00:17:16,626 --> 00:17:21,001 I'm here to offer you a complimentary bottle of champagne with our apologies 190 00:17:21,167 --> 00:17:23,417 Know what you can do with that champagne? 191 00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:25,417 Would you like some chocolates? 192 00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:27,292 Listen... 193 00:17:27,417 --> 00:17:30,752 I want you to listen, I want you to listen carefully 194 00:17:31,127 --> 00:17:34,168 I make one phone call, one phone call, 195 00:17:34,335 --> 00:17:37,585 before you change your shirt, and I'm gonna own your fucking hotel 196 00:17:39,210 --> 00:17:40,502 Anything else? 197 00:17:40,668 --> 00:17:43,585 Wait, woah, woah, I like that 198 00:17:43,752 --> 00:17:46,252 I like that a lot... You know what? I'll take it 199 00:17:46,418 --> 00:17:49,378 No, Mr. Crush, this suite is taken 200 00:17:49,503 --> 00:17:52,086 The guest is downstairs, signing autographs 201 00:18:17,504 --> 00:18:19,004 Get the fuck out of my room 202 00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:45,506 Has everybody in this hotel gone insane? 203 00:18:47,589 --> 00:18:50,672 Othmar! Are we serving penguin now? 204 00:18:51,006 --> 00:18:53,172 - Penguin? - Yes 205 00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:03,382 Maybe with a little garlic and tarragon 206 00:19:03,507 --> 00:19:06,590 we could sell it as shark fin 207 00:19:08,215 --> 00:19:11,090 No, Mr. Kopf, this came for... 208 00:19:11,340 --> 00:19:14,465 Arthur Duncan Dallas "Ill" 209 00:19:16,007 --> 00:19:17,632 Is not "Ill", it's "the Third" 210 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,423 Arthur Duncan Dallas the Third 211 00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:24,258 To be delivered to his suite 212 00:19:24,508 --> 00:19:26,341 - To his suite? - Yes 213 00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:32,133 Tonino? 214 00:19:32,258 --> 00:19:33,383 Yes, boss? 215 00:19:33,508 --> 00:19:37,508 Do you know anything about a penguin for Dallas Duncan the Third? 216 00:19:38,341 --> 00:19:40,174 A stuffed penguin? 217 00:19:40,299 --> 00:19:42,509 No, live penguin! 218 00:19:44,342 --> 00:19:47,759 You wait here and you watch this thing 219 00:19:50,467 --> 00:19:53,092 Now we're babysitting a penguin 220 00:19:53,217 --> 00:19:55,425 These wealthy people... 221 00:19:57,134 --> 00:19:59,426 They'll lose everything at midnight 222 00:20:00,343 --> 00:20:04,676 Morning Arthur, here's your masterpiece, all typed up and looking good 223 00:20:05,718 --> 00:20:08,260 This must be a complete surprise 224 00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:12,593 All we need now is people to join in the chorus 225 00:20:13,385 --> 00:20:14,676 Come on in 226 00:20:15,010 --> 00:20:17,426 Hansueli! Perfect timing 227 00:20:17,594 --> 00:20:20,469 - Come on in, come on in - Good morning, Mr. Dallas... 228 00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,761 - I'm so sorry to... - I know things are insane today... 229 00:20:23,761 --> 00:20:28,386 I'm afraid I'll need to borrow some of your most talented personnel 230 00:20:28,552 --> 00:20:30,761 - I won't keep them long - Well, yes, but... 231 00:20:31,094 --> 00:20:33,427 - I'm here to talk about the penguin - He's here? 232 00:20:34,011 --> 00:20:36,678 Oh, great! He's key to this whole wedding anniversary 233 00:20:37,303 --> 00:20:41,137 You know, Mr. Dallas, we don't have much experience with wild animals 234 00:20:42,303 --> 00:20:44,512 He's the gentlest creature in heaven! 235 00:20:44,637 --> 00:20:47,387 He's the mascot of my marriage 236 00:20:47,553 --> 00:20:51,095 You see, one year ago today my wife and I 237 00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,470 were married at San Pietro di... 238 00:20:53,637 --> 00:20:54,763 - Positano - Positano 239 00:20:56,013 --> 00:20:58,429 A hotel as charming as your own 240 00:20:58,596 --> 00:21:00,596 They had a penguin 241 00:21:01,263 --> 00:21:04,096 It was most extraordinary thing 242 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:09,554 And my wife would feed him out of her hand, every day at the table 243 00:21:09,679 --> 00:21:13,764 It became a symbol of our happiness 244 00:21:14,097 --> 00:21:17,555 - I'm beginning to understand - Well, I've written some words 245 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:20,389 to the tune of "Happy Birthday" 246 00:21:20,555 --> 00:21:23,389 Can you get us some decent voices to sing this with us? 247 00:21:23,514 --> 00:21:25,555 - To the penguin? - To my wife 248 00:21:25,680 --> 00:21:27,097 Of course 249 00:21:27,264 --> 00:21:28,597 With pleasure 250 00:21:28,764 --> 00:21:32,723 - I'll take care of it immediately - Good, good, good 251 00:21:36,765 --> 00:21:39,265 An amazing paillette dress 252 00:21:40,515 --> 00:21:41,640 It's him! It's him! 253 00:21:43,390 --> 00:21:44,223 He's here! 254 00:21:44,723 --> 00:21:47,265 Good morning, Dr. Lima, caipirinha? 255 00:21:47,431 --> 00:21:50,015 Hello, Luigi, you know I'm hooked on your caipirinhas 256 00:21:50,181 --> 00:21:53,307 - It'll make the end of the world better - The end of the world? 257 00:21:53,474 --> 00:21:56,766 - Y2K! Doomsday! - You can't believe in this nonsense! 258 00:21:57,099 --> 00:22:00,057 Of course I do, I'm ready for anything 259 00:22:00,182 --> 00:22:02,557 I took all my savings out of the bank 260 00:22:02,682 --> 00:22:05,099 You don't understand, he's so important 261 00:22:05,266 --> 00:22:06,682 Dr. Lima! 262 00:22:07,016 --> 00:22:10,308 I don't want to disturb you, but I'm so happy to see you 263 00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:12,642 You remember me? 264 00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:15,517 Gloria, Gloria Robinson 265 00:22:15,642 --> 00:22:17,767 You did me a few years back 266 00:22:18,100 --> 00:22:20,225 Yes, yes, of course 267 00:22:20,350 --> 00:22:21,725 My lips 268 00:22:22,058 --> 00:22:23,725 Your mouth, of course 269 00:22:24,392 --> 00:22:26,767 And your nose, too, right? 270 00:22:28,226 --> 00:22:29,601 Just a touch 271 00:22:29,726 --> 00:22:31,601 "The Lima touch", they call it 272 00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:35,476 May I introduce my dear friend, Alice? 273 00:22:37,018 --> 00:22:39,434 I'm so happy to meet you, Dr. Lima 274 00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:42,518 I've been waiting so long for this opportunity 275 00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:45,143 What a golden opportunity! 276 00:22:45,268 --> 00:22:48,602 - It's a pleasure - Could you give Alice an appointment? 277 00:22:49,685 --> 00:22:51,519 Well, I'm actually on vacation 278 00:22:51,685 --> 00:22:55,769 - Please! - Alice has a problem with her breasts 279 00:22:56,102 --> 00:22:59,352 She had a procedure a little while ago, 280 00:22:59,477 --> 00:23:01,560 and they botched it 281 00:23:01,685 --> 00:23:02,477 Yeah 282 00:23:06,561 --> 00:23:08,561 What's the problem? 283 00:23:08,686 --> 00:23:10,561 Symmetry 284 00:23:19,770 --> 00:23:22,603 Are we even allowed to do this under union rules? 285 00:23:22,728 --> 00:23:26,104 Mr. Dallas is very rich, maybe we'll get a big tip 286 00:23:26,229 --> 00:23:29,229 You know why the rich are rich? Because they don't tip 287 00:23:46,605 --> 00:23:47,730 Puff! 288 00:23:49,313 --> 00:23:52,563 Puff, where are you? Puffball, your princess is awake 289 00:23:53,105 --> 00:23:56,272 To Magnolia from me 290 00:23:56,438 --> 00:23:59,355 Yes, it's from Dallas Three 291 00:24:00,230 --> 00:24:04,231 For our endless happiness 292 00:24:04,356 --> 00:24:08,106 blooms a Magnolia tree 293 00:24:08,231 --> 00:24:12,148 Happy bride and bridegroom 294 00:24:12,314 --> 00:24:15,231 Here in our humble room 295 00:24:15,398 --> 00:24:18,773 My most precious entity 296 00:24:19,774 --> 00:24:23,065 is my Magnolia bloom 297 00:24:23,524 --> 00:24:24,607 Yeah! 298 00:24:25,232 --> 00:24:26,607 My darling! 299 00:24:27,524 --> 00:24:30,274 Next year will be even better 300 00:24:35,107 --> 00:24:36,607 Oh, my God! 301 00:24:43,358 --> 00:24:45,400 Is he really for me? 302 00:24:45,566 --> 00:24:48,483 - He's all yours - What a cutie! 303 00:24:51,108 --> 00:24:52,441 Come here, baby 304 00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,233 Come on 305 00:24:56,692 --> 00:25:00,234 - Why won't he come out? - Pussy, pussy, pussy... 306 00:25:00,401 --> 00:25:01,567 Pussy, pussy? 307 00:25:04,109 --> 00:25:07,151 Does anyone know how to wrangle a penguin? 308 00:25:07,317 --> 00:25:09,526 I wouldn't touch that fucker with a beanpole 309 00:25:09,692 --> 00:25:12,651 - Maybe lure him with food? - He likes fish 310 00:25:14,609 --> 00:25:17,110 That one looks tasty 311 00:25:17,277 --> 00:25:19,610 Don't touch the fish! Please, don't touch the fish! 312 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:24,152 - Call the room service - Order him some salmon 313 00:25:24,277 --> 00:25:26,027 Not smoked, fresh 314 00:25:52,112 --> 00:25:53,445 Precy! 315 00:25:54,112 --> 00:25:56,445 Come, quickly! 316 00:25:57,070 --> 00:25:58,779 - Madam? - Madam? 317 00:26:01,779 --> 00:26:03,570 Slap her 318 00:26:03,695 --> 00:26:05,279 You slap her 319 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:28,780 What does she feed it to make it stink like that? 320 00:26:29,114 --> 00:26:30,156 Caviar 321 00:26:30,614 --> 00:26:32,614 She feeds her dog caviar 322 00:26:32,739 --> 00:26:34,364 It's not good for dogs? 323 00:26:34,489 --> 00:26:38,447 People in India are starving to death and she feeds her dog caviar! 324 00:26:38,572 --> 00:26:41,281 You don't understand, you can't 325 00:26:41,447 --> 00:26:44,364 You can't comprehend the pain of having a suffering dog 326 00:26:44,531 --> 00:26:46,281 You understand nothing 327 00:26:46,447 --> 00:26:48,282 Please, Marquise, calm down 328 00:26:48,448 --> 00:26:51,115 For Mr. Toby's sake, we'll find a solution 329 00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:55,407 I fear the worst, how soon can you get a veterinarian? 330 00:26:55,532 --> 00:26:59,073 That may not be so easy, Marquise, it's New Year's Eve 331 00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,740 Money is no object with love 332 00:27:05,657 --> 00:27:08,574 She's hysterical, something's wrong with that rat of hers 333 00:27:08,699 --> 00:27:11,283 I hate that dog, call the veterinarian 334 00:27:11,408 --> 00:27:14,449 I did, he's in Kenya on a safari 335 00:27:14,616 --> 00:27:17,158 - Then call the one in Hinterboden - He's in labor 336 00:27:17,283 --> 00:27:19,366 - He is in what? - A cow is in labor 337 00:27:19,491 --> 00:27:22,283 Difficult delivery, he's doing a C-section 338 00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:25,200 - So what am I to do? - You know how to deal with her 339 00:27:27,700 --> 00:27:31,659 He's had a problem doing his business in the snow since he was a baby 340 00:27:31,784 --> 00:27:33,450 - You know that - Yes 341 00:27:33,575 --> 00:27:37,117 - He can only do it on grass - Let me remind you 342 00:27:37,242 --> 00:27:38,742 we're in the Alps and it's winter 343 00:27:39,075 --> 00:27:41,450 Look, he's shaking all over 344 00:27:41,617 --> 00:27:45,451 A doctor should examine him immediately, every second counts 345 00:27:45,618 --> 00:27:47,785 - Yes, but unfortunately... - I know! 346 00:27:49,118 --> 00:27:50,660 Dr. Lima! 347 00:27:51,035 --> 00:27:53,118 But Dr. Lima is a plastic surgeon 348 00:27:53,285 --> 00:27:55,076 But he has a medical degree 349 00:27:55,243 --> 00:27:56,035 Yes, but... 350 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,118 He adores dogs 351 00:27:58,243 --> 00:28:00,410 He has two Saint Bernards, he showed me pictures 352 00:28:00,576 --> 00:28:03,786 Yes, but he would certainly call a vet for his dogs 353 00:28:04,119 --> 00:28:07,536 Dr. Lima takes care of his wife so generously 354 00:28:07,661 --> 00:28:10,452 Alzheimer's in a family is a terrible tragedy 355 00:28:10,577 --> 00:28:14,119 - Yes, of course - I'm sure he will help Mr. Toby 356 00:28:19,369 --> 00:28:21,412 Please, connect me to Dr. Lima's room 357 00:28:26,328 --> 00:28:27,537 Hello? 358 00:28:27,662 --> 00:28:29,537 I need to speak to Dr. Lima 359 00:28:29,662 --> 00:28:32,453 Sorry, I don't know any Dr. Lima 360 00:28:36,370 --> 00:28:39,663 Sorry, I'm here, my wife is joking, of course 361 00:28:42,663 --> 00:28:44,288 Good morning, Marquise 362 00:28:46,746 --> 00:28:49,413 Not at all, happy to hear from you 363 00:28:56,454 --> 00:28:57,664 Forgive me, 364 00:28:57,789 --> 00:29:01,122 I've been exclusively treating humans 365 00:29:06,247 --> 00:29:09,455 No, I guess it won't hurt to have a look 366 00:29:30,123 --> 00:29:31,665 Dear Russians, 367 00:29:32,290 --> 00:29:34,165 dear fellow citizens, 368 00:29:35,124 --> 00:29:38,707 I have been asked to become the head of state 369 00:29:40,207 --> 00:29:42,291 There will be no interruption of power 370 00:29:42,416 --> 00:29:45,624 not even for a minute in this country 371 00:29:46,207 --> 00:29:49,624 Freedom of expression, freedom of speech, 372 00:29:49,749 --> 00:29:51,707 freedom of conscience... 373 00:29:52,082 --> 00:29:53,500 Yelstin was drunk 374 00:29:54,500 --> 00:29:58,042 He will wake up tomorrow and think he's still president 375 00:30:01,167 --> 00:30:02,292 The armed forces 376 00:30:07,333 --> 00:30:10,292 are working the same as before 377 00:30:11,417 --> 00:30:14,168 Our State is intact and will remain intact, 378 00:30:14,334 --> 00:30:18,418 and continues working for the safety of each citizen 379 00:30:18,626 --> 00:30:21,626 When deciding to step down... 380 00:30:27,459 --> 00:30:29,251 What is his problem exactly? 381 00:30:29,418 --> 00:30:30,544 He won't do it in the snow 382 00:30:31,335 --> 00:30:34,335 He made that painfully obvious to me 383 00:30:35,085 --> 00:30:36,377 He's never acted like this before 384 00:30:36,794 --> 00:30:40,335 I guess there's no other way to put it... 385 00:30:41,294 --> 00:30:43,210 He crapped on my bed, voilà 386 00:30:43,669 --> 00:30:44,502 I see 387 00:30:44,669 --> 00:30:46,752 Does he sense something? 388 00:30:47,127 --> 00:30:48,460 What would he sense? 389 00:30:48,627 --> 00:30:50,128 Y2K... 390 00:30:50,295 --> 00:30:52,170 The end of the world, of course 391 00:30:52,586 --> 00:30:54,586 Animals have an instinct 392 00:30:54,753 --> 00:30:57,586 often stronger than ours, an insight 393 00:30:57,753 --> 00:30:59,461 Marquise... 394 00:30:59,586 --> 00:31:01,586 You can't really believe in this twaddle 395 00:31:01,753 --> 00:31:04,628 I feel we're on the edge of a precipice, 396 00:31:05,545 --> 00:31:08,046 with all my heart 397 00:31:12,296 --> 00:31:13,421 You see, 398 00:31:13,587 --> 00:31:15,254 Y2K, the end of the world, 399 00:31:16,087 --> 00:31:17,087 what else? 400 00:31:17,212 --> 00:31:18,796 I have to examine his stool 401 00:31:23,712 --> 00:31:26,129 What did you do with the excrement? 402 00:31:28,463 --> 00:31:30,547 - What? - From the Marquise 403 00:31:31,130 --> 00:31:33,130 - Laundry room - With the regular bedding? 404 00:31:33,297 --> 00:31:36,588 What were we supposed to do, put it in the dishwasher? 405 00:31:36,797 --> 00:31:38,797 Find it, right away 406 00:31:40,797 --> 00:31:45,256 Zula, really? No respect for the Marquise's poo! 407 00:31:59,048 --> 00:32:00,298 Found it! 408 00:32:04,132 --> 00:32:05,674 I feel like Cinderella 409 00:32:05,799 --> 00:32:09,049 Except we'll never go to the fucking ball 410 00:32:09,382 --> 00:32:10,674 At least not tonight 411 00:32:27,341 --> 00:32:29,133 Oh, my God! 412 00:32:31,591 --> 00:32:32,800 Thanks 413 00:32:39,341 --> 00:32:41,259 Will there be anything else? 414 00:32:42,176 --> 00:32:44,176 No, thanks so much, Mrs. Frautschi 415 00:32:44,342 --> 00:32:45,801 At your service, madam 416 00:33:39,387 --> 00:33:41,220 Madam, can I help you? 417 00:33:41,345 --> 00:33:43,804 Can I take your suitcase? I'll take this for you 418 00:33:53,720 --> 00:33:55,346 May I help you, sir? 419 00:33:55,471 --> 00:33:58,471 We travel here for Mr. Crush, to see him in this hotel 420 00:33:58,638 --> 00:34:02,763 - You have an appointment with Mr. Crush? - No, making surprise 421 00:34:04,138 --> 00:34:05,471 He is here, yes? 422 00:34:05,638 --> 00:34:10,055 Sorry, the hotel doesn't give out that kind of information regarding guests 423 00:34:11,638 --> 00:34:13,096 Would you like to leave a message? 424 00:34:13,431 --> 00:34:15,514 I am his son 425 00:34:17,306 --> 00:34:20,139 I will notify Mr. Crush of your arrival 426 00:34:22,806 --> 00:34:25,306 Welcome to the Hammam Experience! 427 00:34:25,431 --> 00:34:27,306 I'm Baba Paramahansa Ravi 428 00:34:27,472 --> 00:34:30,639 I will be taking care of you personally 429 00:34:30,806 --> 00:34:32,640 Please, follow me 430 00:34:33,807 --> 00:34:38,223 You will start with our famous foot ritual in the Infinity Room 431 00:34:38,390 --> 00:34:40,515 I'm ticklish, though, just so you know 432 00:34:50,724 --> 00:34:53,516 - There's no answer - There is no answer in his room 433 00:34:55,308 --> 00:34:58,224 - There is no answer in his room - Yeah? 434 00:34:59,141 --> 00:35:01,266 You can wait in the lobby, if you want 435 00:35:01,516 --> 00:35:03,141 - Lobby - Lobby 436 00:35:03,308 --> 00:35:04,308 Yeah, lobby 437 00:35:04,641 --> 00:35:07,308 Good morning and welcome to the Palace hotel 438 00:35:07,433 --> 00:35:11,642 Please, allow us to take care of your coats and the luggage 439 00:35:12,475 --> 00:35:13,517 Yes? 440 00:35:14,434 --> 00:35:17,392 So, my name is Hansueli Kopf and I'm the manager 441 00:35:23,267 --> 00:35:25,350 Why don't you have something to eat? 442 00:35:25,517 --> 00:35:27,810 On the house, smoked salmon, caviar... 443 00:35:28,143 --> 00:35:29,143 Some oysters perhaps? 444 00:35:30,226 --> 00:35:31,810 Something to eat? 445 00:35:32,476 --> 00:35:33,518 Soup? 446 00:35:33,685 --> 00:35:36,560 - Where are you arriving from? - Ceské Budejovice 447 00:35:37,476 --> 00:35:39,685 - Is it a long way? - Very long 448 00:35:39,810 --> 00:35:42,685 Changing trains, Vienna and Zurich... 449 00:35:44,060 --> 00:35:46,727 - You have soup? - Yes, a lot of soup 450 00:35:47,061 --> 00:35:49,102 Girls are cold 451 00:35:49,269 --> 00:35:51,352 I'll bring some broth to warm them up 452 00:35:51,644 --> 00:35:53,769 Put some dumplings in 453 00:36:04,352 --> 00:36:06,687 What's your diagnosis, Dr. Lima? 454 00:36:07,728 --> 00:36:10,645 I beg you, be absolutely honest, I'm ready for anything 455 00:36:10,812 --> 00:36:12,437 I'm not a veterinarian, 456 00:36:12,562 --> 00:36:15,478 but I'm certain Mr. Toby has worms 457 00:36:18,145 --> 00:36:20,312 - Is that bad? - Don't worry 458 00:36:20,478 --> 00:36:23,646 It's common among dogs, mine had them too 459 00:36:23,771 --> 00:36:27,104 I will prescribe medicine for the parasites 460 00:36:27,479 --> 00:36:29,271 to give Mr. Toby right away 461 00:36:29,396 --> 00:36:32,146 - But he's not going to die? - Of course not 462 00:36:32,271 --> 00:36:33,688 Thank God! 463 00:36:34,063 --> 00:36:36,188 However, there's a little problem 464 00:36:37,063 --> 00:36:38,688 I'm afraid you may share... 465 00:36:39,313 --> 00:36:40,604 this affliction 466 00:36:41,813 --> 00:36:43,355 I have worms? 467 00:36:43,522 --> 00:36:44,814 Maybe, yes 468 00:36:45,522 --> 00:36:46,647 Worms inside my body? 469 00:36:46,814 --> 00:36:49,772 I'll be sure when I've seen... 470 00:36:50,105 --> 00:36:52,314 your stool sample 471 00:36:52,689 --> 00:36:53,814 My what? 472 00:36:54,189 --> 00:36:56,147 Your stool 473 00:37:24,357 --> 00:37:26,566 Puff! Puff, look! 474 00:37:26,691 --> 00:37:29,316 - What? - We're on the front cover again 475 00:37:37,316 --> 00:37:40,733 Why do you have to get so carried away, Puff? 476 00:37:41,067 --> 00:37:45,150 - I didn't even have time to dry my hair - Hyenas! 477 00:37:45,275 --> 00:37:47,317 Scumbucket hacks! 478 00:37:54,067 --> 00:37:56,651 All they ever write about day after day 479 00:37:56,818 --> 00:37:58,193 is how much... 480 00:38:00,484 --> 00:38:03,109 you're going to inherit from me... 481 00:38:03,818 --> 00:38:05,776 come tomorrow 482 00:38:06,151 --> 00:38:10,151 Don't get so upset, Puff, your blood pressure 483 00:38:12,443 --> 00:38:14,484 Honey, you already took one 484 00:38:14,651 --> 00:38:16,319 And without water? 485 00:38:28,777 --> 00:38:29,819 That's better 486 00:38:36,611 --> 00:38:38,236 Here he comes 487 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:44,111 - Go and tell him - Me? 488 00:38:44,236 --> 00:38:46,320 Yeah, it might be easier to hear it from you 489 00:38:48,611 --> 00:38:51,486 Could I have a bottle of Bollinger and two glasses? 490 00:38:51,653 --> 00:38:53,237 Would you like anything else? 491 00:38:53,487 --> 00:38:57,612 - Yes, a couple of hot super models - Not on the menu, sir 492 00:38:58,404 --> 00:38:59,612 Sir 493 00:39:00,404 --> 00:39:02,487 - Your son is here - What? 494 00:39:02,612 --> 00:39:04,529 Your son is here 495 00:39:04,654 --> 00:39:06,821 A son? I don't have a son 496 00:39:14,322 --> 00:39:15,655 At last! 497 00:39:16,363 --> 00:39:17,655 Give me a hug! 498 00:39:19,322 --> 00:39:22,738 - Who the hell are you? - It's me, I'm your son, Vaclav! 499 00:39:23,113 --> 00:39:24,822 Listen to me, asshole 500 00:39:25,155 --> 00:39:27,155 Stay the fuck away or I'll call security 501 00:39:27,613 --> 00:39:31,448 Dad, we came all the way to see you from Ceské Budejovice 502 00:39:31,614 --> 00:39:33,114 "Budejoic", what? "Bude"... 503 00:39:33,281 --> 00:39:36,448 - So you can meet your family - My family? I don't have a family 504 00:39:37,073 --> 00:39:40,656 These are your granddaughters, Ivanka and Jaromira 505 00:39:40,823 --> 00:39:43,739 Listen, I don't know you, okay? So scram... 506 00:39:44,114 --> 00:39:45,323 They are twins 507 00:39:45,448 --> 00:39:48,490 We used artificial insemination 508 00:39:49,199 --> 00:39:50,157 Dad... 509 00:39:50,324 --> 00:39:55,240 I write so many letters to you, remember? I even sent you wooden squirrel 510 00:39:55,407 --> 00:39:59,324 - So cute, right? - Get the fuck out of my face, you clown 511 00:39:59,490 --> 00:40:02,574 Incredible! How can he be so inhuman? 512 00:40:02,740 --> 00:40:05,490 I am the fruit of your college love 513 00:40:05,615 --> 00:40:09,158 When you were in Prague for two days... This is mama back then 514 00:40:09,325 --> 00:40:14,200 Take one more step, I'm gonna bust your fucking nose wide open, hear me? 515 00:40:14,366 --> 00:40:16,658 You gave her a keychain that said "Chevrolet" 516 00:40:16,825 --> 00:40:20,075 I've never been to Prague, I don't even know where Prague is 517 00:40:20,825 --> 00:40:22,491 You, sir, are heartless 518 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,159 - And on a day like this? - Do you have a light, sweetheart? 519 00:40:28,617 --> 00:40:30,326 Please, please, please 520 00:40:30,492 --> 00:40:34,659 This must be settled calmly, in private, please, there are other guests 521 00:40:36,576 --> 00:40:39,201 Your papa is nervous, this must be a shock for him 522 00:40:39,326 --> 00:40:42,409 You must give him some time, don't worry 523 00:40:47,535 --> 00:40:50,410 A penguin! A penguin! A penguin! 524 00:40:51,118 --> 00:40:52,160 - Tonino? - Yes, boss? 525 00:40:52,327 --> 00:40:55,243 Mr. Dallas's mascot is wandering around outside The Gringo 526 00:40:55,368 --> 00:40:57,410 Get it out of here immediately 527 00:40:57,577 --> 00:41:00,327 Come on, it's just a penguin, come, come 528 00:41:09,411 --> 00:41:10,494 Come 529 00:41:15,119 --> 00:41:16,328 So, here... 530 00:41:16,453 --> 00:41:18,619 You will be comfortable here for now 531 00:41:18,744 --> 00:41:22,370 At the moment it's peaceful, and then we will see 532 00:41:25,204 --> 00:41:26,204 Oh, my god 533 00:41:34,329 --> 00:41:36,204 Can I help you, sir? 534 00:41:44,121 --> 00:41:46,163 - Good afternoon, sir - Caspar Tell 535 00:41:46,288 --> 00:41:48,496 I have an appointment with Mr. Crush, in the lobby bar 536 00:41:48,663 --> 00:41:51,205 - Mr. Crush - I don't know Mr. Crush personally 537 00:41:51,330 --> 00:41:54,288 - Perhaps someone could lead me to him? - Certainly 538 00:41:55,788 --> 00:41:57,580 Mr. Crush in the lobby 539 00:41:58,539 --> 00:42:00,247 Follow him 540 00:42:00,414 --> 00:42:02,206 - Thank you - You're welcome 541 00:42:02,372 --> 00:42:04,622 As I was saying, Marco called... 542 00:42:05,622 --> 00:42:06,747 Thank you 543 00:42:08,581 --> 00:42:10,164 Mr. Crush? 544 00:42:10,289 --> 00:42:14,664 - Mr. Tell! Take a load off, have a seat - Yeah, yes 545 00:42:17,207 --> 00:42:19,415 I was afraid I might not recognize you from your photos 546 00:42:20,290 --> 00:42:21,832 From my photos? 547 00:42:22,165 --> 00:42:24,498 Well, I pride myself on being thorough 548 00:42:24,665 --> 00:42:27,498 The bank always runs a thorough background check on prospective clients 549 00:42:27,790 --> 00:42:30,332 Yeah, well, that's good to know 550 00:42:30,498 --> 00:42:34,498 I mean, background checks are... I'd expect nothing less, believe me 551 00:42:35,333 --> 00:42:37,666 I know you gotta run back to your office, but... 552 00:42:38,166 --> 00:42:40,583 today is a very special day 553 00:42:40,708 --> 00:42:42,333 A drop of champagne with me? 554 00:42:43,791 --> 00:42:45,333 Yes, please 555 00:42:46,499 --> 00:42:47,499 Thank you 556 00:42:48,333 --> 00:42:49,791 There we go 557 00:42:50,499 --> 00:42:51,624 I shouldn't... 558 00:42:53,166 --> 00:42:54,667 - Prost! - Prost 559 00:42:57,834 --> 00:42:59,709 I'm very grateful for the invitation, Mr. Crush 560 00:43:00,084 --> 00:43:02,125 I was here once, when I was seven 561 00:43:02,250 --> 00:43:05,167 My whole first grade class came and we met Father Christmas 562 00:43:05,292 --> 00:43:06,625 I always wanted to come back again 563 00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:09,792 Did you bring that little thing we've discussed? 564 00:43:10,667 --> 00:43:12,835 Well, that's the thing, Mr. Crush 565 00:43:13,168 --> 00:43:16,210 I ran another check on your portfolio right after we spoke this morning 566 00:43:16,835 --> 00:43:19,335 The numbers don't entirely add up 567 00:43:19,501 --> 00:43:22,710 You see? There seems to be a difference of three zeros 568 00:43:22,835 --> 00:43:25,293 - Three zeros - Caspar, listen to me 569 00:43:25,460 --> 00:43:30,251 Computers worldwide are about to crash because of a "difference of zeros" 570 00:43:30,376 --> 00:43:35,169 They gonna read 2000 as zeros, only zeros, zeros here, zeros there... 571 00:43:35,294 --> 00:43:39,461 The whole world is going to be zeros, so an extra zero or two, who'll notice? 572 00:43:39,627 --> 00:43:42,669 Me, it's my job to notice those things 573 00:43:42,794 --> 00:43:45,419 - I've been a bank auditor for 31 years - Exactly! 574 00:43:45,544 --> 00:43:49,086 Now, by this time tomorrow, 575 00:43:49,212 --> 00:43:51,670 we'll be two of the richest men on the planet, all right? 576 00:43:51,837 --> 00:43:54,378 Should we drink to that? Prost! 577 00:43:54,795 --> 00:43:56,170 Prost! 578 00:44:01,128 --> 00:44:02,503 You know what? 579 00:44:02,670 --> 00:44:05,170 The walls have ears in here, why don't we... 580 00:44:05,337 --> 00:44:07,545 go out on the terrace? 581 00:44:19,421 --> 00:44:23,171 In people's minds, New Year is one precise moment, okay? 582 00:44:23,338 --> 00:44:26,755 The stroke of midnight, that's fine, but midnight where? 583 00:44:27,380 --> 00:44:30,505 In Tokyo? In Hawaii? Right here? 584 00:44:30,672 --> 00:44:34,589 New Year's is a bust out twenty-four fucking hours, Caspar 585 00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:39,214 So listen to me, you do your part and this afternoon the rest is easy 586 00:44:39,755 --> 00:44:44,214 The funds get wired to London, then to New York, LA, Honolulu... 587 00:44:44,339 --> 00:44:47,340 each time reaching its destination earlier than it was sent 588 00:44:47,506 --> 00:44:52,215 Well, I suppose, if the credit was logged prior to the debit, 589 00:44:52,340 --> 00:44:55,423 assuming the amount clears before... 590 00:44:55,590 --> 00:44:57,756 We're traveling back in time, Caspar 591 00:44:58,090 --> 00:45:00,548 Like a science fiction thriller 592 00:45:01,673 --> 00:45:05,674 Alright? We put this tired old century in suspended animation 593 00:45:05,841 --> 00:45:07,591 Alright? And then boom! 594 00:45:07,716 --> 00:45:11,341 2000 hits, bang! Hits again, hits again 595 00:45:11,466 --> 00:45:14,257 The whole system resets, okay? 596 00:45:14,424 --> 00:45:17,132 Thank you, Y2K, cha-ching brother! 597 00:45:18,216 --> 00:45:19,382 Cha-ching 598 00:45:44,843 --> 00:45:46,509 Who are you? 599 00:45:46,676 --> 00:45:49,176 I am a plumber, Mr. Kopf ordered me 600 00:45:49,343 --> 00:45:50,676 To do what? 601 00:45:50,843 --> 00:45:53,218 I put grass in your toilet 602 00:46:06,510 --> 00:46:09,344 A truly magnificent idea, Hansueli 603 00:46:09,469 --> 00:46:11,344 Thank you, thank you, thank you 604 00:46:14,677 --> 00:46:16,802 Would you like something to drink? 605 00:46:17,677 --> 00:46:18,845 Monsieur? 606 00:46:19,178 --> 00:46:21,595 - Yes? - Would you like something to drink? 607 00:46:21,761 --> 00:46:23,303 No 608 00:46:31,595 --> 00:46:33,428 Mr. Minetti! 609 00:46:35,386 --> 00:46:36,721 Ski room 610 00:46:37,179 --> 00:46:38,804 Please, come in, come 611 00:46:39,137 --> 00:46:41,096 Goddamn snowboarders! 612 00:46:41,262 --> 00:46:43,262 Oh my God, take off the boots! 613 00:46:43,429 --> 00:46:47,096 Bring some ice from the bar, hurry! Please, have a seat 614 00:46:49,179 --> 00:46:51,512 Come here, here! Pull off, some ice is coming 615 00:46:52,221 --> 00:46:53,262 What happened? 616 00:46:53,429 --> 00:46:54,679 Snowboarders! 617 00:46:54,847 --> 00:46:57,472 Mr. Minetti needs a doctor right away 618 00:46:59,805 --> 00:47:01,597 A doctor? Why? 619 00:47:24,264 --> 00:47:25,681 Thank you very much 620 00:47:27,473 --> 00:47:29,514 - Thank you, madam - What is your name? 621 00:47:29,848 --> 00:47:30,848 Karol 622 00:47:31,348 --> 00:47:33,182 - Czech? - Polish, like Pope 623 00:47:33,349 --> 00:47:34,849 - Pope? - Yes 624 00:47:38,515 --> 00:47:40,599 - Dog likes play, yes? - I beg your pardon? 625 00:47:43,140 --> 00:47:44,682 Nice dog you have 626 00:47:45,849 --> 00:47:47,640 But... where did he find that? 627 00:47:47,849 --> 00:47:48,849 That's not mine 628 00:47:49,557 --> 00:47:52,308 Hotels! You never know who slept in your room the night before 629 00:47:52,475 --> 00:47:53,766 - Yes - Toby! 630 00:47:54,350 --> 00:47:55,600 Put it down! 631 00:48:00,683 --> 00:48:03,475 Okay, I go 632 00:48:03,641 --> 00:48:05,141 I better go now, okay? 633 00:48:08,808 --> 00:48:10,351 Happy New Year, Karol 634 00:48:12,101 --> 00:48:14,517 To you too, madam, Happy New Year 635 00:48:14,684 --> 00:48:17,601 Is there a special party for the staff downstairs? 636 00:48:17,726 --> 00:48:19,559 No, just work, all night 637 00:48:19,726 --> 00:48:24,767 And what if the drain in my bathroom clogged up at, say... 638 00:48:25,142 --> 00:48:26,726 four in the morning? 639 00:48:26,851 --> 00:48:29,393 - I would be there - Then be 640 00:48:29,685 --> 00:48:33,560 Dr. Lima, are you acquainted with our favorite artist, Mr. Minetti? 641 00:48:33,685 --> 00:48:37,602 - Yes, we met briefly at the bar - Darling, boy, how I missed you! 642 00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:41,435 Come with me, darling 643 00:48:41,560 --> 00:48:44,768 Let's have a rest 644 00:48:45,352 --> 00:48:47,436 Didn't I see you on television, dear? 645 00:48:47,603 --> 00:48:50,186 Have a seat, let me get a drink 646 00:48:50,311 --> 00:48:53,186 I can't, I have so much going on downstairs 647 00:48:53,353 --> 00:48:55,186 C'mon, not even a little one? 648 00:48:55,519 --> 00:48:56,561 Okay 649 00:48:57,228 --> 00:48:59,519 - Maybe I deserve a little one - Of course you do 650 00:48:59,686 --> 00:49:02,228 Here we go, to the year 2000! 651 00:49:03,103 --> 00:49:04,519 - Cheers! - Cheers! 652 00:49:06,812 --> 00:49:11,729 So, I will have to wear a bandage at the big party tonight? 653 00:49:12,104 --> 00:49:13,812 We'll have to put something on it 654 00:49:14,187 --> 00:49:18,770 You'll look like this actor from the movie, with a bandage on the nose 655 00:49:19,395 --> 00:49:21,145 What was the name of the movie? 656 00:49:21,312 --> 00:49:23,688 - Yes, yes, yes, yes - Boss? 657 00:49:23,855 --> 00:49:26,855 - Speak - There's a problem in the kitchen 658 00:49:27,188 --> 00:49:30,188 - Of course there is, coming - One for the road? 659 00:49:30,355 --> 00:49:32,188 Yes, a quick one 660 00:49:32,521 --> 00:49:34,646 And maybe you should have another one, a double 661 00:49:36,271 --> 00:49:38,146 - A double? - Bye bye 662 00:49:38,521 --> 00:49:39,813 Bye! 663 00:49:48,189 --> 00:49:49,522 So let's get it over with 664 00:49:59,522 --> 00:50:02,190 You must've played a doctor more than once, right? 665 00:50:02,357 --> 00:50:03,732 Never 666 00:50:03,857 --> 00:50:05,773 Such a cliche 667 00:50:06,523 --> 00:50:09,357 Do you write your own film scripts? 668 00:50:09,523 --> 00:50:11,273 I do sometimes 669 00:50:12,523 --> 00:50:14,523 I used to be a producer 670 00:50:22,524 --> 00:50:24,483 This bit won't hurt 671 00:50:24,649 --> 00:50:26,608 I just need to measure the bone displacement 672 00:50:26,774 --> 00:50:29,566 Relax, think of something pleasant 673 00:50:29,733 --> 00:50:32,316 - Maybe your next film project? - Nothing in the making 674 00:50:32,483 --> 00:50:34,149 I'll warn you before I do anything 675 00:50:35,233 --> 00:50:38,859 Did you know that bats have a bone in their penis? 676 00:50:39,234 --> 00:50:41,859 - Really? - In your line of work, it could prove... 677 00:50:42,234 --> 00:50:43,150 invaluable 678 00:51:11,318 --> 00:51:14,693 It's so dark in here, Puff, I thought you liked looking at me 679 00:51:20,527 --> 00:51:22,402 How beautiful! 680 00:51:24,319 --> 00:51:25,861 The Big Dipper! 681 00:51:26,194 --> 00:51:27,236 Come on, darling 682 00:51:27,402 --> 00:51:30,444 I have a star from the heaven... 683 00:51:31,361 --> 00:51:33,236 just for you 684 00:51:36,528 --> 00:51:38,695 The world's most precious necklace 685 00:51:38,820 --> 00:51:41,612 for my most precious princess 686 00:51:42,362 --> 00:51:43,528 Turn around 687 00:51:43,695 --> 00:51:45,195 Put your hair up 688 00:51:58,488 --> 00:52:01,654 Do I get my blowjob or what? 689 00:52:01,821 --> 00:52:05,113 Testing, one, two, three... 690 00:52:05,488 --> 00:52:07,696 Testing, one, two, three... 691 00:52:15,197 --> 00:52:16,614 Enjoying the oysters? 692 00:52:16,739 --> 00:52:20,447 Yeah, I enjoy, my wife also 693 00:52:20,614 --> 00:52:24,447 The disco will open soon, but I have a quiet place for you for a while 694 00:52:24,822 --> 00:52:26,697 And then we will see again, I guess. 695 00:52:26,864 --> 00:52:29,781 You are very kind, Mr. Hansueli Kopf 696 00:52:33,281 --> 00:52:34,365 As I told you... 697 00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:43,698 Come in, come in 698 00:52:50,282 --> 00:52:53,866 Sit, sit, the children's program ends soon, 699 00:52:54,241 --> 00:52:57,199 but you can rest here and then we will find a better place 700 00:52:57,366 --> 00:52:59,782 - They like it here - Yes, I thought so 701 00:53:00,116 --> 00:53:02,366 - I have twin girls myself - Really? 702 00:53:02,532 --> 00:53:04,407 - Yes - How old? 703 00:53:04,574 --> 00:53:05,866 Grown up 704 00:53:06,199 --> 00:53:08,617 Can I do anything else for you? 705 00:53:08,783 --> 00:53:12,325 I would very much like to call my mama, tell her we are good 706 00:53:12,742 --> 00:53:15,200 No problem, you can use my phone 707 00:53:15,367 --> 00:53:16,533 Thank you, I will be very quick 708 00:53:16,700 --> 00:53:18,742 No, take as much time as you need 709 00:53:19,283 --> 00:53:20,533 Thank you 710 00:53:25,368 --> 00:53:27,243 Mommy, it's me Vaclav! 711 00:53:27,534 --> 00:53:29,326 We're in the same hotel as daddy 712 00:53:29,701 --> 00:53:31,493 He sends his greetings 713 00:53:31,618 --> 00:53:34,493 He remembers the Chevrolet keychain 714 00:53:34,618 --> 00:53:36,534 He looks just like me 715 00:53:36,701 --> 00:53:40,868 Only he's orange, because of the sun 716 00:53:41,243 --> 00:53:42,534 in California 717 00:53:43,660 --> 00:53:46,244 He may come to Budejovice 718 00:53:46,369 --> 00:53:47,827 Wouldn't that be great? 719 00:53:48,660 --> 00:53:50,327 I'll call you back 720 00:53:50,494 --> 00:53:52,160 when I'm with him again 721 00:53:52,410 --> 00:53:53,869 Bye bye, kisses 722 00:53:54,660 --> 00:53:56,869 - Thank you, Mr. Kopf - Yeah 723 00:53:57,619 --> 00:53:59,702 - Enjoy - Thank you 724 00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,203 Puff? 725 00:54:17,370 --> 00:54:19,161 Puff, you are okay? 726 00:54:21,329 --> 00:54:22,621 Puff? 727 00:54:23,121 --> 00:54:24,704 Honey, what's the matter? 728 00:54:26,287 --> 00:54:27,704 Arthur! 729 00:54:28,454 --> 00:54:30,246 Arthur, answer me! 730 00:54:44,163 --> 00:54:45,372 Oh, my God! 731 00:54:45,705 --> 00:54:46,872 Oh, my God! 732 00:55:04,123 --> 00:55:05,289 Okay 733 00:55:06,206 --> 00:55:07,873 Okay, don't... 734 00:55:08,206 --> 00:55:09,789 Don't panic 735 00:55:10,581 --> 00:55:12,164 Don't panic, don't panic 736 00:55:13,206 --> 00:55:15,498 God, Magnolia, think 737 00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:37,166 Concierge 738 00:55:37,291 --> 00:55:40,666 - Hello, this is Mrs. Dallas - What can I do for you? 739 00:55:40,791 --> 00:55:44,708 - May I speak to Mr. Kopf? - Could I have him call you back? 740 00:55:44,875 --> 00:55:47,750 - No, I'll hold on - It might take a few minutes 741 00:55:47,875 --> 00:55:51,125 No, that's all right, I'm not going anywhere 742 00:55:52,416 --> 00:55:54,126 Mrs. Frautschi 743 00:55:54,792 --> 00:55:56,709 Oh, my God! What happened here? 744 00:55:56,876 --> 00:55:59,876 A guest tried to flush his banking history down the toilet 745 00:56:00,209 --> 00:56:03,501 - His banking history? - More Y2K madness 746 00:56:03,626 --> 00:56:05,876 Mrs. Frautschi, do you know about this Czech family? 747 00:56:06,251 --> 00:56:09,209 You made sure the whole hotel knows about them 748 00:56:09,376 --> 00:56:10,584 You have to find a place for them to sleep 749 00:56:10,751 --> 00:56:12,502 Mr. Kopf, on a day like this? 750 00:56:12,627 --> 00:56:15,210 - I can't perform miracles - I know 751 00:56:15,335 --> 00:56:18,752 But just put four mattresses in a quiet corner, would you? Please 752 00:56:18,877 --> 00:56:20,335 - Boss? - Yes, speak 753 00:56:20,460 --> 00:56:22,585 Mrs. Dallas is asking for you 754 00:56:24,168 --> 00:56:25,377 I'm coming 755 00:56:28,168 --> 00:56:29,418 Who is it? 756 00:56:33,378 --> 00:56:35,878 It's me, madam, Hansueli Kopf 757 00:56:36,211 --> 00:56:37,669 - Are you alone? - Yes 758 00:56:37,794 --> 00:56:40,211 Come in, I'm in the bedroom 759 00:56:48,128 --> 00:56:49,879 Come closer, please 760 00:56:58,545 --> 00:57:00,670 Good evening, what can I do for you? 761 00:57:01,420 --> 00:57:04,254 Arthur told me you're someone who can be trusted 762 00:57:04,379 --> 00:57:06,837 - Can I trust you? - Of course you can trust me 763 00:57:07,212 --> 00:57:09,380 - You promise? - Absolutely 764 00:57:09,796 --> 00:57:12,255 I'm in a terrible predicament 765 00:57:12,421 --> 00:57:15,255 You're the only person who can help me, I guess 766 00:57:16,213 --> 00:57:18,546 My darling husband is gone 767 00:57:18,671 --> 00:57:22,713 Oh, God, he left you? He's gone on your wedding anniversary? 768 00:57:22,880 --> 00:57:25,255 No, no, he's gone... forever 769 00:57:26,547 --> 00:57:29,881 Just as our happiness was reaching a climax 770 00:57:30,214 --> 00:57:31,881 At least I think so, anyway... 771 00:57:32,381 --> 00:57:34,881 Now, he's definitely gone 772 00:57:37,422 --> 00:57:39,881 Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! This... 773 00:57:40,214 --> 00:57:42,297 This is... this is... this is terrible 774 00:57:42,422 --> 00:57:46,173 - Is he... how did he... Is he dead? - The worst part is... 775 00:57:46,298 --> 00:57:49,215 I can't seem to part with him 776 00:57:49,382 --> 00:57:52,173 Of course, of course, I'm so sorry 777 00:57:52,298 --> 00:57:53,757 I can imagine how you feel... 778 00:57:53,882 --> 00:57:56,423 No, no, that's not what I'm getting at 779 00:57:59,673 --> 00:58:03,799 Back in Texas, they'd say my husband died in the saddle and... 780 00:58:04,133 --> 00:58:07,299 I can't seem to dismount 781 00:58:07,466 --> 00:58:10,591 Oh, God! Oh, God! I'll call the ambulance right away 782 00:58:10,758 --> 00:58:14,383 No, no, no! Just get me off, please 783 00:58:14,549 --> 00:58:15,716 Please... 784 00:58:18,841 --> 00:58:21,174 Okay, very well 785 00:58:21,341 --> 00:58:23,592 Just give me a moment, I... 786 00:58:23,759 --> 00:58:26,550 absolutely understand the situation, and I'll be back right away 787 00:58:26,717 --> 00:58:28,175 Okay 788 00:58:33,134 --> 00:58:34,217 Really? 789 00:58:34,550 --> 00:58:35,842 Thank you 790 00:58:36,175 --> 00:58:37,717 Thanks so much, Professor 791 00:58:38,425 --> 00:58:40,217 And Happy New Year 792 00:59:06,802 --> 00:59:10,719 I've been advised of an effective way out of such a situation 793 00:59:12,177 --> 00:59:15,219 Would you mind exposing part of your abdomen? 794 00:59:21,887 --> 00:59:24,137 It would be better if you closed your eyes 795 00:59:24,303 --> 00:59:25,137 Oh, God! 796 00:59:46,763 --> 00:59:48,221 Thank you 797 00:59:49,179 --> 00:59:51,554 Thank you, Mr. Kopf, from the bottom of my heart 798 00:59:51,721 --> 00:59:55,305 Well, shall I start making arrangements? 799 00:59:55,472 --> 00:59:57,680 Wait, no! No, please 800 00:59:57,805 --> 01:00:01,430 Not yet, there is another delicate matter 801 01:00:01,555 --> 01:00:04,389 - Yes? - No one else can know until midnight 802 01:00:04,555 --> 01:00:06,805 Until midnight? For religious reasons? 803 01:00:07,139 --> 01:00:11,180 - You obviously don't read the tabloids - No, I try not to 804 01:00:11,347 --> 01:00:14,223 For legal reasons... Wait, no 805 01:00:14,390 --> 01:00:15,515 It's a technicality 806 01:00:16,390 --> 01:00:17,556 I don't understand 807 01:00:17,723 --> 01:00:20,556 - Today is our wedding anniversary - Yes, of course 808 01:00:20,723 --> 01:00:23,223 - We sang and then there was the penguin - According to the will, 809 01:00:23,390 --> 01:00:25,723 I stand to inherit everything, 810 01:00:25,848 --> 01:00:28,723 but only after we've been married a full year 811 01:00:29,681 --> 01:00:31,181 Everything? 812 01:00:31,556 --> 01:00:33,391 It's everything 813 01:00:34,432 --> 01:00:36,682 It's everything or it's nothing 814 01:00:37,641 --> 01:00:39,516 Well, indeed, I understand 815 01:00:39,682 --> 01:00:41,224 Turndown service! 816 01:00:43,516 --> 01:00:45,391 Would you like your turndown service? 817 01:00:48,474 --> 01:00:51,683 Sorry, would you like your turndown service, madam? 818 01:00:51,808 --> 01:00:53,725 Turndown service? 819 01:00:54,475 --> 01:00:57,517 Arthur, we don't need turndown service, do we? 820 01:00:59,308 --> 01:01:01,392 No, no, thank you 821 01:01:01,517 --> 01:01:03,558 Would you like the chocolates, madam? 822 01:01:03,725 --> 01:01:05,308 Chocolates? 823 01:01:05,433 --> 01:01:08,642 Absolutely, my husband adores these chocolates 824 01:01:08,767 --> 01:01:11,226 - Have a good evening - Thank you 825 01:01:33,352 --> 01:01:35,810 This will require your absolute discretion 826 01:01:37,602 --> 01:01:39,560 Something bad? 827 01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:44,727 - Oh, yes - How bad? 828 01:01:47,520 --> 01:01:49,228 Bad bad 829 01:01:49,395 --> 01:01:51,728 A vertical departure 830 01:01:52,895 --> 01:01:54,561 - Who? - Dallas the Third 831 01:01:54,686 --> 01:01:55,853 Fuck! 832 01:01:56,186 --> 01:01:57,561 - The penthouse? - Yes 833 01:01:57,728 --> 01:02:02,561 - It'll be done during the fireworks - Excellent, Mrs. Frautschi, excellent 834 01:02:05,187 --> 01:02:07,771 Are you planning to dim the lights for the fireworks as usual? 835 01:02:07,896 --> 01:02:10,437 - Right after the cow bells - Switch them off completely 836 01:02:12,771 --> 01:02:15,354 Welcome, have a wonderful evening 837 01:02:16,354 --> 01:02:17,604 Coat, please 838 01:02:23,146 --> 01:02:23,897 Thank you 839 01:02:27,563 --> 01:02:29,147 Good evening, Mr. Madoff 840 01:02:29,272 --> 01:02:31,897 Have a wonderful evening and Happy New Year 841 01:02:33,855 --> 01:02:34,897 Thank you, sir 842 01:02:35,730 --> 01:02:39,272 - May I have your name, please? - Tell, Caspar Tell 843 01:02:42,231 --> 01:02:44,189 I don't seem to have your name on the list 844 01:02:45,189 --> 01:02:47,564 I gave you the invitation 845 01:02:47,689 --> 01:02:50,731 Yes, but your name needs to be on our guest list anyway 846 01:02:51,439 --> 01:02:54,273 Mr. Crush invited me, William Crush 847 01:02:54,398 --> 01:02:57,606 - There's "Mr. Crush and madam" here - I'm his madam 848 01:02:58,398 --> 01:03:01,357 Well of course I'm not a madam, I'm his madman... 849 01:03:01,524 --> 01:03:04,399 I mean, I'm his madam... 850 01:03:04,565 --> 01:03:07,399 I understand completely, welcome, Mr. Tell 851 01:03:08,315 --> 01:03:09,190 Thank you 852 01:03:09,524 --> 01:03:11,607 - We are business partners - Yes, sure 853 01:03:12,732 --> 01:03:14,565 Have a wonderful evening 854 01:03:15,524 --> 01:03:16,774 Good evening, madam 855 01:03:17,690 --> 01:03:18,774 Thank you 856 01:04:07,777 --> 01:04:10,152 - There's my man! - Mr. Crush 857 01:04:10,860 --> 01:04:12,568 Let's celebrate, huh? 858 01:04:13,443 --> 01:04:15,694 Do we deserve to celebrate? 859 01:04:16,444 --> 01:04:19,444 - Yes - That's my pleasure to help, brother 860 01:04:23,569 --> 01:04:25,903 Excuse me, madam, sit right here 861 01:04:26,236 --> 01:04:27,403 Two champagne 862 01:04:31,819 --> 01:04:33,737 It was quite easy, really 863 01:04:34,779 --> 01:04:37,320 I was surprised how easy it turned out to be 864 01:04:38,279 --> 01:04:39,487 Well... 865 01:04:40,654 --> 01:04:45,237 you know, the important thing that you learned today, my friend, is... 866 01:04:45,820 --> 01:04:48,279 the best stuff comes easy 867 01:04:48,445 --> 01:04:50,737 Okay? Trust me 868 01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:52,738 I do 869 01:04:52,905 --> 01:04:54,905 Trust you, I mean 870 01:04:55,571 --> 01:04:57,821 I suppose I have to, now 871 01:04:59,405 --> 01:05:03,696 Well, what are we going to do now? When are we leaving? 872 01:05:04,405 --> 01:05:05,821 Tomorrow 873 01:05:06,196 --> 01:05:07,238 What? 874 01:05:08,280 --> 01:05:10,739 I don't think I can be ready by tomorrow 875 01:05:11,572 --> 01:05:14,906 I still haven't told my mother, I have to pack, 876 01:05:15,239 --> 01:05:18,156 get organized, I have to... all the... Mr. Crush... 877 01:05:18,322 --> 01:05:19,531 Call me Bill 878 01:05:20,197 --> 01:05:21,906 Okay, okay, Mr. Crush 879 01:05:22,239 --> 01:05:23,864 I mean, Bill 880 01:05:24,239 --> 01:05:26,656 Here's to trust, okay? 881 01:05:26,781 --> 01:05:27,739 Okay 882 01:05:30,407 --> 01:05:32,532 - To trust, Bill - To trust 883 01:05:54,616 --> 01:05:55,658 Good evening 884 01:05:57,658 --> 01:05:58,908 C'mon, darling 885 01:06:01,324 --> 01:06:03,241 - It's beautiful - Yes 886 01:06:10,659 --> 01:06:11,742 Welcome, Excellency 887 01:06:11,909 --> 01:06:14,909 I hope our last-minute visit has not caused too much trouble 888 01:06:15,242 --> 01:06:18,659 Not at all, it's a true honor, your party is already at the table 889 01:06:18,784 --> 01:06:22,909 Would you like to join them or would you prefer an aperitif first? 890 01:06:23,242 --> 01:06:26,368 - I'll join them at the table - Follow me 891 01:06:41,201 --> 01:06:42,743 Good evening, Mr. Ambassador! 892 01:06:42,910 --> 01:06:46,244 Trying to broadcast my presence to the entire world? 893 01:06:46,411 --> 01:06:48,202 Sit down and shut up 894 01:06:56,161 --> 01:06:57,661 - All in order? - Absolutely 895 01:06:58,244 --> 01:06:59,577 - No problems? - None 896 01:06:59,702 --> 01:07:01,244 - Got everything? - Yes 897 01:07:01,411 --> 01:07:02,620 Where? 898 01:07:02,745 --> 01:07:04,162 In the safe 899 01:07:04,287 --> 01:07:05,412 Where is it? 900 01:07:05,578 --> 01:07:07,203 Downstairs 901 01:07:07,328 --> 01:07:08,412 The key? 902 01:07:18,912 --> 01:07:20,162 Let's have a look 903 01:07:22,246 --> 01:07:25,246 I'll leave my wife here and you leave your friends 904 01:07:26,163 --> 01:07:27,413 Just you and me 905 01:07:33,371 --> 01:07:34,788 Behave! 906 01:07:40,330 --> 01:07:42,247 Take good care of Mrs. Belova 907 01:07:45,247 --> 01:07:46,580 Irina Anatolievna, a drink? 908 01:07:58,331 --> 01:08:00,706 This I understand! 909 01:08:02,748 --> 01:08:05,831 Let's drink to Irina Anatolievna! 910 01:08:06,581 --> 01:08:08,456 To your mother! 911 01:08:08,581 --> 01:08:10,748 - And your grandmother! - To your dog! 912 01:08:11,248 --> 01:08:13,206 - To your father! - And your grandfather! 913 01:08:14,373 --> 01:08:16,749 To the whole family 914 01:08:47,792 --> 01:08:51,417 - Are you out of your mind? - Sorry, but this is the best we could do 915 01:08:51,583 --> 01:08:53,333 And it wasn't easy 916 01:08:53,458 --> 01:08:57,543 We had to dig out the right sized table and push the other tables to the side 917 01:08:57,709 --> 01:09:01,459 Well, push them more together and bring me a decent table 918 01:09:02,293 --> 01:09:05,293 The table is not so bad, Mr... Bill 919 01:09:05,459 --> 01:09:08,918 I mean, I think it's rather... it's rather nice 920 01:09:09,293 --> 01:09:10,626 Shut up! 921 01:09:10,751 --> 01:09:13,544 And let me remind you that you had no reservation. 922 01:09:13,919 --> 01:09:15,460 Had no reservation... 923 01:09:15,627 --> 01:09:16,794 Listen... 924 01:09:17,419 --> 01:09:19,710 I will not sit at this table 925 01:09:22,585 --> 01:09:24,585 I'll see what I can do for you, sir 926 01:09:30,627 --> 01:09:34,545 Mr. Ambassador, assuming you're still Ambassador, 927 01:09:34,878 --> 01:09:36,920 the situation in Russia has changed 928 01:09:37,253 --> 01:09:39,503 A new president means new possibilities 929 01:09:39,670 --> 01:09:43,211 I'd like to revise our agreement 930 01:09:43,378 --> 01:09:44,920 We all took risks, 931 01:09:45,253 --> 01:09:46,920 so let's be fair 932 01:09:47,253 --> 01:09:49,462 You might not like my line of thought 933 01:09:50,587 --> 01:09:52,296 Look at it like this 934 01:09:52,462 --> 01:09:55,587 There are three of us, plus three bodyguards 935 01:09:55,921 --> 01:09:58,921 With all due respect to your wife, you are alone 936 01:09:59,254 --> 01:10:00,254 Are you sure? 937 01:10:00,421 --> 01:10:02,379 Yes, I'm pretty damn sure 938 01:10:02,504 --> 01:10:04,212 I want to re-negotiate 939 01:10:04,462 --> 01:10:05,504 I'm listening 940 01:10:06,254 --> 01:10:07,629 Fifty-fifty 941 01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:20,213 Here is my offer 942 01:10:20,338 --> 01:10:22,422 You take one, 943 01:10:22,547 --> 01:10:24,797 while I'm still in a good mood 944 01:10:26,297 --> 01:10:29,923 Sooner or later, we will slice up the Russian cake 945 01:10:30,256 --> 01:10:32,464 as usual 946 01:10:32,589 --> 01:10:34,923 And if one day we want to find you, 947 01:10:35,256 --> 01:10:37,214 we will find you, even on the tiniest... 948 01:10:37,381 --> 01:10:39,506 Hawaiian island 949 01:10:40,423 --> 01:10:42,756 - Two? - Don't push it, my boy 950 01:10:43,756 --> 01:10:47,257 Don't push it, my patience has limits 951 01:10:47,424 --> 01:10:49,424 I was only joking 952 01:10:50,465 --> 01:10:52,507 Joking? The key 953 01:11:09,550 --> 01:11:11,216 Let me see 954 01:11:11,383 --> 01:11:12,758 Very good 955 01:11:13,425 --> 01:11:15,508 Okay, as soon as you're finished... 956 01:11:17,175 --> 01:11:19,175 Third time today! 957 01:11:19,716 --> 01:11:22,259 Show your face, you son of a bitch! 958 01:11:32,884 --> 01:11:34,676 Here it comes! 959 01:11:35,301 --> 01:11:37,592 Caviar a go-go! 960 01:11:43,718 --> 01:11:44,760 There she is 961 01:11:44,885 --> 01:11:47,593 Darling! You look sensational! 962 01:11:47,718 --> 01:11:50,927 Stunning! Absolutely stunning! 963 01:11:51,385 --> 01:11:52,927 Where's our lucky man? 964 01:11:54,677 --> 01:11:56,343 Arthur... 965 01:11:57,260 --> 01:11:59,594 Arthur sends his apologies 966 01:11:59,719 --> 01:12:01,886 He had another sleepless night 967 01:12:02,219 --> 01:12:03,636 I know something about that 968 01:12:04,386 --> 01:12:07,928 He decided to take a short nap, but he'll join us soon 969 01:12:08,303 --> 01:12:11,261 He wants his beauty sleep before coming to surprise us 970 01:12:11,386 --> 01:12:13,386 Handsome as Sean Connery 971 01:12:18,304 --> 01:12:19,554 How are you? 972 01:12:20,679 --> 01:12:23,429 It's such a significant day, 973 01:12:24,220 --> 01:12:25,929 especially for you 974 01:12:27,429 --> 01:12:28,512 It's so... 975 01:12:29,595 --> 01:12:31,887 It's hard to put into words 976 01:12:33,179 --> 01:12:34,554 We were so happy... 977 01:12:35,220 --> 01:12:36,429 We are, we are... 978 01:12:36,596 --> 01:12:39,721 so happy, we always will be 979 01:12:47,221 --> 01:12:48,430 Welcome back 980 01:12:53,930 --> 01:12:58,264 What did you scarf down? 981 01:13:00,847 --> 01:13:05,347 My friends, let's toast our new leader, 982 01:13:06,306 --> 01:13:08,556 who will take care of us 983 01:13:09,764 --> 01:13:12,764 for many, many years to come! 984 01:13:28,723 --> 01:13:29,807 What? 985 01:13:29,932 --> 01:13:33,599 I wonder if I can bring my mother! 986 01:13:34,266 --> 01:13:37,391 I can't leave her alone, I'm all she's got 987 01:13:37,516 --> 01:13:40,433 - Your mother? - Yes, my mother 988 01:13:42,558 --> 01:13:45,308 Bring your mother, bring whoever the hell you want, I don't care 989 01:13:45,433 --> 01:13:48,683 Really? That's so nice, Bill, I... 990 01:13:48,808 --> 01:13:50,308 She's gonna die soon 991 01:13:52,600 --> 01:13:55,267 She's 98, I think she's gonna die soon 992 01:13:56,267 --> 01:13:57,475 Great 993 01:13:58,559 --> 01:14:00,559 And she likes hot weather 994 01:14:01,600 --> 01:14:05,475 Hot weather! I'm saying, she likes it hot 995 01:14:05,642 --> 01:14:07,684 Hot! My mama! 996 01:14:07,850 --> 01:14:10,310 Mama likes hot, so... 997 01:14:19,893 --> 01:14:23,685 I'd better go check on Arthur, he must be awake by now 998 01:14:23,851 --> 01:14:26,726 - We're coming with you, darling - Maybe we should all go? 999 01:14:26,851 --> 01:14:31,686 - Let's give Arthur a surprise! - No, no, that's a very bad idea 1000 01:14:32,727 --> 01:14:36,477 You know Arthur, he'd be embarrassed to be seen without his bowtie 1001 01:14:37,227 --> 01:14:39,811 Ok, we'll wait here patiently 1002 01:14:39,936 --> 01:14:42,269 - But hurry up, please - We won't touch the cake 1003 01:14:42,602 --> 01:14:45,936 We'll certainly be down for the fireworks, Arthur loves fireworks 1004 01:14:59,937 --> 01:15:02,437 I must go to the men's room, Bill 1005 01:15:06,813 --> 01:15:08,188 I really must 1006 01:15:08,354 --> 01:15:09,938 Now? What about your caviar? 1007 01:15:11,271 --> 01:15:14,438 No... I'm so sorry, Bill, I... 1008 01:15:15,688 --> 01:15:17,188 I'm sorry, I'm sorry 1009 01:15:18,771 --> 01:15:20,188 Sorry, sorry! 1010 01:15:22,604 --> 01:15:24,189 I'm so sorry, I... 1011 01:15:28,939 --> 01:15:31,230 I'm sorry, really, you... 1012 01:15:32,605 --> 01:15:33,605 Sorry 1013 01:15:36,439 --> 01:15:37,897 Sorry, I'm sorry 1014 01:15:41,480 --> 01:15:43,190 - Sorry! - Be more careful 1015 01:15:43,315 --> 01:15:44,648 Yeah, madam, sorry 1016 01:16:08,649 --> 01:16:10,232 Oh, God! 1017 01:16:10,566 --> 01:16:12,941 What have you done, Caspar? 1018 01:16:13,732 --> 01:16:16,732 What have you done? How could you? 1019 01:16:16,857 --> 01:16:21,692 After so many years of diligence! 1020 01:16:29,608 --> 01:16:32,275 I deserve to be seeing penguins and hearing voices... 1021 01:16:42,484 --> 01:16:44,484 Gimme a drag 1022 01:16:46,276 --> 01:16:49,734 Look at that poor baby, he's waiting for his mommy 1023 01:16:49,901 --> 01:16:52,443 I bet he needs help 1024 01:16:54,776 --> 01:16:56,777 Hi, I'm your mommy 1025 01:16:59,652 --> 01:17:02,444 - Help yourself - Go ahead! 1026 01:17:02,569 --> 01:17:04,694 No, I don't smoke ciggie 1027 01:17:15,611 --> 01:17:17,570 Is this marijuana? 1028 01:17:20,278 --> 01:17:22,278 I smoke marijuana! 1029 01:17:22,403 --> 01:17:24,778 I smoke marijuana! 1030 01:17:27,445 --> 01:17:29,570 I deserve this, you know? 1031 01:17:29,695 --> 01:17:32,278 Mommy gives you permission 1032 01:17:34,779 --> 01:17:36,904 My name... my name is... 1033 01:17:37,237 --> 01:17:40,571 - How cute! - Caspar, Caspar Tell 1034 01:17:41,404 --> 01:17:44,779 - That's my name - I'm Natasha, she's Zoijka 1035 01:17:44,946 --> 01:17:46,779 I'm the woman of your dreams 1036 01:18:18,698 --> 01:18:19,948 Fuck! 1037 01:18:21,364 --> 01:18:22,781 Oh, shit! 1038 01:18:26,906 --> 01:18:28,781 I know who you are 1039 01:18:30,282 --> 01:18:31,657 Holy shit! 1040 01:18:32,949 --> 01:18:35,699 You don't mind, do you? You're probably used to this 1041 01:18:35,865 --> 01:18:39,282 You know what? I'm glad I get to see that with my own two eyes 1042 01:18:39,449 --> 01:18:43,199 - I haven't really been hiding it - It's a monster you got there, brother 1043 01:18:43,324 --> 01:18:45,824 Hey, let me ask you something, is it... 1044 01:18:46,199 --> 01:18:50,325 Is it true that... that thing is insured for five million bucks? 1045 01:18:50,491 --> 01:18:52,658 It used to be, when it was earning 1046 01:18:52,783 --> 01:18:54,616 I wouldn't spend a penny on it now 1047 01:18:54,783 --> 01:18:57,366 You can't get wood, right? What good is it? 1048 01:18:57,533 --> 01:18:59,450 You could always join the circus 1049 01:19:04,950 --> 01:19:08,534 - Something special, sir? - Something very special 1050 01:19:08,659 --> 01:19:11,367 - Want to know why? - Sure 1051 01:19:11,534 --> 01:19:14,409 - Because I can afford it - Because he can afford it 1052 01:19:14,576 --> 01:19:15,784 Good for you, sir 1053 01:19:23,617 --> 01:19:25,785 That one looks beautiful! 1054 01:19:26,327 --> 01:19:30,535 - I want that one, please - Good eye, sir 1055 01:19:35,285 --> 01:19:37,785 - Do you like this? - Yes! Yes! 1056 01:19:37,952 --> 01:19:40,243 Bollinger, 1938 1057 01:19:41,243 --> 01:19:43,452 1938 1058 01:19:43,577 --> 01:19:45,536 Our only bottle 1059 01:19:47,453 --> 01:19:49,911 One of the finest champagnes money can buy 1060 01:19:50,286 --> 01:19:53,619 You'll never know who invited me tonight 1061 01:19:53,744 --> 01:19:56,869 I was invited by Mr. Crush himself 1062 01:19:57,203 --> 01:19:58,369 Who is that? 1063 01:19:59,203 --> 01:20:00,869 - What? - You don't know Mr. Crush? 1064 01:20:08,954 --> 01:20:12,287 There he is, Mr. Crush! Bill! 1065 01:20:12,745 --> 01:20:14,829 - This is Mr. Crush... - Caspar! 1066 01:20:15,204 --> 01:20:17,954 - My best friend and business partner - Where were you? Your mother's worried 1067 01:20:18,287 --> 01:20:19,829 She's looking all over for you 1068 01:20:19,954 --> 01:20:21,913 I called you a cab, get his ass out of here 1069 01:20:22,246 --> 01:20:25,205 - Where did you get this tan? Brazil? - It's natural 1070 01:20:25,330 --> 01:20:26,705 Dominican? 1071 01:20:26,830 --> 01:20:28,413 Natural? 1072 01:20:30,955 --> 01:20:32,663 I'll come back, Billy 1073 01:20:32,788 --> 01:20:36,538 Your guest charged this to your room, could you sign, please? 1074 01:20:41,289 --> 01:20:42,747 12,450... 1075 01:20:44,247 --> 01:20:45,372 Is this a joke? 1076 01:20:45,539 --> 01:20:48,789 It's a unique vintage: Bollinger Collection 1938 1077 01:20:49,289 --> 01:20:51,831 Well, take 1938 and stick it up your ass 1078 01:21:57,210 --> 01:22:00,251 I'm sure I know him from somewhere 1079 01:22:07,293 --> 01:22:08,585 Ok, c'mon 1080 01:22:39,337 --> 01:22:40,462 Oh, my God! 1081 01:22:40,962 --> 01:22:41,837 Oh, my God! 1082 01:22:42,712 --> 01:22:45,503 Oh, my God! Don't hurt him 1083 01:22:45,670 --> 01:22:47,920 Please, for the love of God! 1084 01:23:11,755 --> 01:23:14,505 My condolences, Mrs. Dallas 1085 01:23:17,755 --> 01:23:20,630 Mine as well, he was such a kind man 1086 01:23:20,755 --> 01:23:24,589 - You know what to do, Mrs. Frautschi? - Of course, Mr. Kopf 1087 01:23:24,922 --> 01:23:27,965 Don't forget your Czechs, their accommodation is ready 1088 01:23:28,631 --> 01:23:30,215 Oh, my God, the Czechs 1089 01:23:30,506 --> 01:23:32,465 Yes, yes 1090 01:23:45,966 --> 01:23:48,757 He would've loved watching the fireworks 1091 01:23:54,299 --> 01:23:57,424 So, finally, your accommodation is ready 1092 01:23:57,549 --> 01:24:00,299 You will have clean sheets and mattresses, and it's warm 1093 01:24:00,466 --> 01:24:02,632 Thank you, Mr. Kopf, thank you! 1094 01:24:06,717 --> 01:24:09,425 We want to invite you to Ceské Budejovice 1095 01:24:10,217 --> 01:24:13,258 We have two rooms, you can have one all for yourself! 1096 01:24:14,925 --> 01:24:16,300 Thank you 1097 01:24:16,883 --> 01:24:17,717 Thank you 1098 01:24:18,300 --> 01:24:21,633 - What did you do? - We're so happy to see you again 1099 01:24:21,800 --> 01:24:23,384 Dr. Lima! 1100 01:24:23,509 --> 01:24:24,634 Look! 1101 01:24:25,259 --> 01:24:28,634 He's fixed them so much, he can't tell them apart 1102 01:24:31,801 --> 01:24:33,634 Happy New Year! 1103 01:24:35,634 --> 01:24:38,384 Did you see a little strange asshole come by here? 1104 01:24:38,509 --> 01:24:40,802 He had the same cone hat as you 1105 01:24:40,969 --> 01:24:43,469 He was with three beautiful Russians models 1106 01:24:44,635 --> 01:24:46,885 Happy New Year! 1107 01:24:48,802 --> 01:24:51,469 Okay, come, come, come 1108 01:24:51,635 --> 01:24:52,552 Please 1109 01:24:52,719 --> 01:24:54,802 Try that way! 1110 01:24:57,594 --> 01:24:58,844 Please, come this way 1111 01:25:18,679 --> 01:25:20,262 Mr. Crush! 1112 01:25:20,971 --> 01:25:23,304 He fainted with emotion! 1113 01:25:26,221 --> 01:25:28,304 Oh, shit, it's a heart attack! 1114 01:25:30,471 --> 01:25:31,846 Tonino, Tonino! 1115 01:25:32,887 --> 01:25:34,971 Olivia! Olivia, can you hear me? 1116 01:25:45,263 --> 01:25:47,680 Try mouth-to-mouth, I'll call an ambulance right away 1117 01:25:47,805 --> 01:25:50,472 - Mouth-to-mouth? - Yes, yes, do it! 1118 01:25:55,973 --> 01:25:57,306 Sorry! 1119 01:25:58,889 --> 01:26:00,806 Sorry, sorry, sorry 1120 01:26:02,889 --> 01:26:04,306 Sorry! 1121 01:26:05,556 --> 01:26:06,514 Ten! 1122 01:26:06,639 --> 01:26:07,681 Nine! 1123 01:26:07,848 --> 01:26:09,264 Eight! 1124 01:26:09,389 --> 01:26:10,639 Seven! 1125 01:26:10,764 --> 01:26:12,306 Six! 1126 01:26:12,473 --> 01:26:13,473 Five! 1127 01:26:13,639 --> 01:26:15,390 Four, three! 1128 01:26:15,557 --> 01:26:17,432 Two, one... 1129 01:26:17,557 --> 01:26:19,890 Happy New Year! 1130 01:26:25,807 --> 01:26:27,474 - Happy New Year! - Happy New Year 1131 01:26:32,350 --> 01:26:33,808 Happy New Year! 1132 01:26:36,308 --> 01:26:37,433 Happy New Year! 1133 01:26:37,558 --> 01:26:39,725 Happy New Year! 1134 01:27:21,435 --> 01:27:22,393 Tonino! 1135 01:27:29,478 --> 01:27:31,394 - Yes, boss? - Now! 1136 01:27:35,686 --> 01:27:38,353 - Y2K! - It's really happening 1137 01:27:38,519 --> 01:27:41,311 Nostradamus was right, this is the end of the world! 1138 01:27:42,978 --> 01:27:44,603 Oh, my God, it's happening! 1139 01:27:44,769 --> 01:27:48,312 What's happening? Look around, nothing's happening, they do this every year 1140 01:27:48,479 --> 01:27:51,312 Everything is gonna be fine, it's gonna be okay 1141 01:28:34,231 --> 01:28:36,814 Arthur, honeycakes! 1142 01:28:37,939 --> 01:28:40,356 Happy New Year! 1143 01:28:43,982 --> 01:28:46,398 We survived Y2K! 1144 01:28:47,732 --> 01:28:49,648 Didn't I tell you it was only a hoax? 1145 01:28:49,815 --> 01:28:54,440 Happy New Year, Amanda, Arthur's really exhausted 1146 01:28:54,607 --> 01:28:56,357 Well, of course 1147 01:28:58,690 --> 01:29:00,607 Can you believe that? 1148 01:29:00,732 --> 01:29:02,983 Fucking broken-down old snob! 1149 01:29:03,316 --> 01:29:07,483 I gave him his first decent blowjob and he doesn't even look at me 1150 01:29:10,524 --> 01:29:13,691 My God, what money does to people! 1151 01:29:38,818 --> 01:29:40,693 Tonino, switch back on 1152 01:29:58,444 --> 01:29:59,986 Will Grandpa go to heaven? 1153 01:30:00,319 --> 01:30:02,319 Or to hell? 1154 01:30:02,986 --> 01:30:04,777 I don't know, girls 1155 01:30:15,487 --> 01:30:16,820 Help yourself 1156 01:30:19,820 --> 01:30:21,403 Just one 1157 01:30:26,570 --> 01:30:30,403 Listen, don't drink it all at once 1158 01:30:31,237 --> 01:30:33,946 Happy New Year, Mr. Ambassador 1159 01:30:34,279 --> 01:30:37,863 Same to you, Happy New Year! 1160 01:30:44,821 --> 01:30:47,821 Close that fucking door! What are you doing? 1161 01:31:21,615 --> 01:31:23,656 Shit! 1162 01:31:46,324 --> 01:31:47,824 Happy New Year, Mr. Kopf 1163 01:31:48,492 --> 01:31:49,700 Happy New Year 1164 01:31:53,783 --> 01:31:56,992 Do you have a spare key for the safe? 1165 01:31:57,992 --> 01:31:59,325 I already gave you the key 1166 01:31:59,492 --> 01:32:02,242 Yes, but do you have a spare? 1167 01:32:02,408 --> 01:32:04,367 No, there is no spare 1168 01:32:05,908 --> 01:32:08,993 Then you have a problem, Mr. Kopf, because our Ambassador 1169 01:32:09,326 --> 01:32:11,451 is locked inside your safe 1170 01:32:12,493 --> 01:32:14,326 I have a problem? 1171 01:32:15,993 --> 01:32:17,909 You have a problem, huh? 1172 01:32:21,576 --> 01:32:24,284 Maybe? Maybe 1173 01:32:25,494 --> 01:32:26,535 Happy New Year 1174 01:32:27,577 --> 01:32:28,910 Happy New Year 1175 01:32:30,994 --> 01:32:32,369 Fuck 1176 01:33:27,497 --> 01:33:29,663 I came to repair drain 1177 01:34:04,415 --> 01:34:05,790 Thank you so much 1178 01:34:06,457 --> 01:34:08,374 That was... 1179 01:34:08,499 --> 01:34:12,457 the best New Year's party I've ever had 1180 01:34:18,541 --> 01:34:19,916 - Have a great evening - Yeah 1181 01:34:20,250 --> 01:34:21,000 Happy New Year 1182 01:40:47,271 --> 01:40:50,562 Subtitles: Laser S. Film s.r.I. - Rome 79448

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