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1
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They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:19,728 --> 00:00:21,647
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:23,649
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,692
The Addams family
5
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,736
The house is a museum
6
00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:29,696
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:29,780 --> 00:00:31,698
They really are a scream
8
00:00:31,782 --> 00:00:33,408
The Addams family
9
00:00:34,743 --> 00:00:35,786
Neat.
10
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,496
Sweet.
11
00:00:40,457 --> 00:00:41,500
Petite.
12
00:00:41,583 --> 00:00:43,544
So get a witch's shawl on
13
00:00:43,627 --> 00:00:45,546
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:47,548
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,300
The Addams family
16
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:02,372
Querida mia. Such grace, such beauty.
17
00:02:03,540 --> 00:02:06,793
For you I die happily.
18
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,590
MORTICIA: Uncle Fester doesn't seem
to be very much impressed.
19
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:15,135
Same old humdrum.
Nothing new ever happens around here.
20
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,387
Oh, come, Uncle Fester.
21
00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:21,433
Cousin Nanook sent us
that lovely new totem pole for Christmas.
22
00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:27,523
And he asked for our bear in return.
He's a real Eskimo giver.
23
00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:31,068
Would you like to take the vulture
for a little stroll?
24
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:34,029
- She seems to take to humans.
- Her favorite food.
25
00:02:36,573 --> 00:02:41,286
I think I need a change. A trip, maybe.
26
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,748
Oh, I think that's a very good idea.
Don't you, Gomez?
27
00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:46,667
I do indeed.
28
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:50,212
It's been a long time
since we've had a family outing.
29
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,506
Will you ever forget the fun
we had on that picnic?
30
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:56,051
What a lovely spot for a picnic.
Devil's Island.
31
00:02:57,636 --> 00:03:00,681
There must be some...
How about the tar pits?
32
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:04,852
Now, Uncle Fester, every time we go near
those tar pits, you go wild.
33
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,104
It is a fun place, isn't it?
34
00:03:08,313 --> 00:03:10,899
What's new? What is new?
35
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:15,904
I suppose Death Valley has been overrun
with tourists since we first discovered it.
36
00:03:16,780 --> 00:03:20,033
Yes, darling. Listen, why don't we
go to Quanta La Gustra?
37
00:03:20,492 --> 00:03:22,828
Quanta La Gustra?
38
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,997
Darling, that's the innkeeper's name.
39
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,164
Oh?
40
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,585
Oh, how disappointing.
It did sound romantic.
41
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:33,380
It's a problem.
We've been most everywhere.
42
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,966
We've never been to the moon.
43
00:03:36,842 --> 00:03:38,594
That's true, we haven't.
44
00:03:38,677 --> 00:03:41,513
It would be beguiling
to be on the moon with you, cara mia.
45
00:03:41,597 --> 00:03:44,433
Especially if we landed on the dark side.
46
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,935
Darling.
47
00:03:47,019 --> 00:03:49,521
But isn't that a bit far to go
for a holiday trip?
48
00:03:49,605 --> 00:03:52,191
Well, we wouldn't run
into the same old faces.
49
00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,817
That's true.
50
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:58,030
- It could be rather costly.
- All we need is a spaceship.
51
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:01,491
We could go to the playroom
and find out to the penny.
52
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:04,620
All we have to do is consult the computer
that Pugsley and I built.
53
00:04:04,703 --> 00:04:08,582
Yeah, Wizzo knows everything.
Even told me how to cure my baldness.
54
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:11,627
- Is it working?
- No, but it cured my cough.
55
00:04:13,128 --> 00:04:14,546
Darling, shall we?
56
00:04:14,630 --> 00:04:18,008
It's such a comfort to have a machine
do our thinking for us.
57
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:23,597
Wizzo is a highly scientific instrument,
Uncle Fester.
58
00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:30,354
It deals in facts. You have to feed it
specific, accurate data. Like this.
59
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:36,652
End result desired.
Cost of manned flight to the moon.
60
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:39,196
Elements.
61
00:04:41,615 --> 00:04:43,200
GOMEZ: Load.
62
00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,077
Thrust.
63
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,495
Orbit.
64
00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:48,372
Act achieved. Plus.
65
00:04:48,789 --> 00:04:50,958
Well expected.
66
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,168
Ampersand.
67
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:55,629
Tuner. Silencer cap.
68
00:04:55,712 --> 00:04:59,466
- What's he saying?
- Wizzo only knows, dear.
69
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:01,426
That horn stopper.
70
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,057
Half mile prep ratio. Mark up.
71
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:09,977
"S." Plus.
72
00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:16,233
Seeing to the launching pad.
73
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:19,069
And coffee to your milk in-flight.
74
00:05:19,862 --> 00:05:22,155
It goes double first cabin all the way.
75
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:25,909
- Hey, it's gonna blow up!
- No, no, dear. Wizzo's just thinking.
76
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,287
He sure thinks loud.
77
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:34,168
The computer is carefully digesting
all pertinent data.
78
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:49,141
That's the sound of success.
79
00:05:49,224 --> 00:05:53,020
Our answer on the cost of rocketing
to the moon will soon be here.
80
00:06:01,737 --> 00:06:03,363
Thank you, dear.
81
00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:08,785
Knows its manners.
82
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:14,416
Darling, this isn't too expensive.
83
00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:17,961
It's just $21.13 over a billion.
84
00:06:19,630 --> 00:06:21,757
It's a shade more than I expected.
85
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:25,177
Oh, I'll do my part.
I'll come up with the $21.13.
86
00:06:26,595 --> 00:06:30,098
As a matter of fact, I don't even know
how much I have on hand right now.
87
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:33,560
Since I put all my finances
in Mr. Hulen's hands,
88
00:06:33,644 --> 00:06:34,728
he's been handling everything.
89
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,440
A vacation trip to the moon?
90
00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,693
Oh, it does sound enchanting, doesn't it?
91
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:44,446
I can hardly wait
to capture it all on canvas.
92
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,573
How do you like my moon hat?
93
00:06:46,823 --> 00:06:49,368
Wait till Hedda Hopper gets a load of this.
94
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:59,586
- Well, it's all settled.
- No, it is not settled.
95
00:06:59,711 --> 00:07:03,340
Do you realize what it would cost
to send a spaceship to the moon?
96
00:07:03,674 --> 00:07:07,678
Well, of course. We don't just jump
into these things, you know.
97
00:07:08,053 --> 00:07:10,597
Here is a feature story in today's paper
98
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:14,268
about the cost to our country
of their space program. Read it.
99
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:18,438
Wow! "Daily double pays $17,000."
100
00:07:18,522 --> 00:07:20,941
No, no, not that. This.
101
00:07:21,316 --> 00:07:25,237
Read it.
It's there in black and white. Billions!
102
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,323
Oh dear,
perhaps we are being a bit extravagant.
103
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:30,450
You may be right, querida.
104
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:34,121
Well, we can do without the limousine
and the forensicaffer.
105
00:07:34,204 --> 00:07:36,623
- What's a forensicaffer, dear?
- Who knows?
106
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:41,587
Hey. Did you know
Little Orphan Annie's got no eyeballs?
107
00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,630
That's part of her charm.
108
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:48,468
Will you please stick to the issue?
All this moon talk is absolutely absurd.
109
00:07:48,552 --> 00:07:50,345
Now hold on there, Mr. Hulen.
110
00:07:50,429 --> 00:07:53,307
My own personal computer claims
that a trip to the moon
111
00:07:53,390 --> 00:07:58,020
would cost only one billion,
21 dollars and 13 cents.
112
00:07:58,312 --> 00:08:00,939
Yeah, and I'm putting up the $21.13.
113
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,525
He just insists on doing his share.
114
00:08:04,026 --> 00:08:05,861
Oh, well, that's just dandy.
115
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,655
But you're a trifle short on that billion.
116
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:12,201
- What's a trifle?
- This happens to be a very big trifle.
117
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:16,079
There must be some way
to pick up that kind of money.
118
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:20,334
I've got it. We'll invent something
that costs a dime to make,
119
00:08:20,417 --> 00:08:22,669
sells for a dollar, and is habit-forming.
120
00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:27,549
No, I don't think so, dear.
Habit-forming is a bad habit.
121
00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:31,929
Well, now we're getting somewhere.
If you get any other bright schemes...
122
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:35,516
- Hey, wait a minute.
- Please, please. I've had a very trying day.
123
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:40,437
Now look, that daily double thing
paid $17,000 on only two winning horses.
124
00:08:40,521 --> 00:08:41,605
Nice yield.
125
00:08:41,688 --> 00:08:44,858
Now, what will happen
if we pick eight winners every day,
126
00:08:44,942 --> 00:08:46,860
for, say, a whole month?
127
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,654
How much would that be?
128
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:56,703
- Way over a billion.
- Over? Good.
129
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:59,039
Then you wouldn't need my $21.13.
130
00:08:59,122 --> 00:09:02,334
Will you please forget this moon business?
131
00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:06,255
I tell you, it's impractical,
imprudent and absolutely impossible.
132
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,716
Mr. Hulen, are you trying
to discourage us?
133
00:09:09,842 --> 00:09:11,552
I certainly am.
134
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,721
Don't beat around the bush.
Just answer yes or no.
135
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:19,726
Look, it's tough enough
to hit a daily double.
136
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:23,564
To pick eight winners in a row
is almost impossible.
137
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:29,361
But to pick them
for 30 days is utterly preposterous.
138
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,655
- Are you sure?
- Positive.
139
00:09:31,738 --> 00:09:33,156
What a challenge.
140
00:09:33,657 --> 00:09:37,411
Dear Gomez,
he has an absolute flair for failure.
141
00:09:37,661 --> 00:09:39,580
Well, he's a cinch.
142
00:09:39,663 --> 00:09:42,499
Nobody could even begin
to pick that many winners.
143
00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:46,879
- Wizzo could.
- Why, of course. Wizzo.
144
00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:49,965
Why, he could do it with 20 watts tied
behind his back.
145
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:52,593
We could put the money to wonderful use.
146
00:09:52,676 --> 00:09:55,762
Build a haven
for lonely and unwanted bats.
147
00:09:55,846 --> 00:09:58,390
Help preserve our beautiful swamplands.
148
00:09:58,473 --> 00:10:01,935
Endow a University chair in witchcraft
and other fine arts.
149
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:07,191
That's all very uplifting, of course.
But it's still gambling.
150
00:10:07,274 --> 00:10:09,610
This is no time for negativism, old boy.
151
00:10:09,693 --> 00:10:11,695
As soon as Wizzo picks the right horses,
152
00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,947
you'll get out to the track
and start the ball rolling.
153
00:10:14,031 --> 00:10:19,453
You couldn't catch me putting $2
on any horse anytime.
154
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,373
$2? That's buzzardfeed.
155
00:10:23,457 --> 00:10:26,168
How about $2,000? As a starter.
156
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,962
$2,000?
157
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:33,091
In other words, darling, you take
the money that we win on the first race
158
00:10:33,175 --> 00:10:36,011
and then bet it on the second.
Is that the plan, dear?
159
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:39,348
- Exactly.
- Very clever, mon cher.
160
00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:42,976
Oh, Tish, that French.
It goes right through me.
161
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,689
- Speak some more.
- Darling, we have company.
162
00:10:47,773 --> 00:10:49,316
Just a few words.
163
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,901
Soup du jour.
164
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:55,489
Inky dinky parlez- vous. Moulin Rouge.
Anything.
165
00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:59,326
Very well, darling.
L'amour, toujours l'amour.
166
00:11:02,871 --> 00:11:06,667
Thank you, Tish. That was beautiful.
Now where were we?
167
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:09,586
- We were winning a lot of money.
- Oh, yes!
168
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,047
We bet with Wizzo, and one month hence
169
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:14,967
we'll have an extra billion
to knick and knack around with.
170
00:11:15,050 --> 00:11:19,721
Let's see. I seem to recall having
an extra couple of thousand to bet with
171
00:11:19,805 --> 00:11:21,056
kicking around here somewhere.
172
00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:22,474
Yes.
173
00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,231
Thank you, Thing.
174
00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:33,068
Here we are, Mr. Hulen. $2,000.
175
00:11:33,610 --> 00:11:37,281
Not only cold cash but a little moldy, too.
176
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:45,998
Well, you seem quite intent upon
following through with this madness.
177
00:11:46,123 --> 00:11:50,043
Nevertheless, I would like to leave you
with these few words,
178
00:11:50,502 --> 00:11:54,006
"Gambling is the disease of barbarians."
Shakespeare.
179
00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:57,634
"It's the vice of knaves and fools."
Benjamin Franklin.
180
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:04,057
And, "This whole scheme
is absolutely nutty." Ralph J. Hulen.
181
00:12:06,977 --> 00:12:08,896
What a scholar.
182
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:12,191
How fortunate to have him
as our investment counselor.
183
00:12:12,274 --> 00:12:13,609
And bookie.
184
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,740
Darling, a glove for Thing.
185
00:12:20,449 --> 00:12:23,785
No, dear.
It's a sweater for Pugsley's octopus.
186
00:12:36,048 --> 00:12:39,468
Yes, sir. Oh, Mr. Hulen,
you just missed a call from Mr. Addams.
187
00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:42,262
That is the best thing
that's happened all day.
188
00:12:42,387 --> 00:12:45,849
With a list of the horses
a Mr. Wizzo seems to have picked.
189
00:12:46,225 --> 00:12:48,393
So, since you'll be at the track all day,
I'll just...
190
00:12:48,477 --> 00:12:50,812
Their money is going to stay
right in my pocket.
191
00:12:50,896 --> 00:12:52,689
And when that first horse loses,
192
00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:55,442
they're going to be grateful to me
that I didn't throw it away.
193
00:12:55,526 --> 00:12:59,905
- But Mr. Hulen, the first four races...
- This firm does not gamble.
194
00:12:59,988 --> 00:13:02,658
We're a sound, conservative
investment institution.
195
00:13:02,741 --> 00:13:03,951
Yes, Mr. Hulen.
196
00:13:04,034 --> 00:13:07,538
But, sir, perhaps you'd better just check
the races on the radio. Just to be sure.
197
00:13:07,621 --> 00:13:10,582
- It's a waste of time.
- Please, Mr. Hulen.
198
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,335
All right.
199
00:13:14,586 --> 00:13:16,922
The fifth race should be on.
They've picked Nellie Bee.
200
00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:19,758
ANNOUNCER ON RADIO: It was a driving
finish, and the winner is Nellie Bee
201
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,594
with English Gal second in the race.
202
00:13:22,678 --> 00:13:24,346
That's five straight.
203
00:13:25,889 --> 00:13:28,058
- Five straight?
- Oh, yes.
204
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:32,354
If you'd thrown away their money,
they'd now be winning $480,000.
205
00:13:33,856 --> 00:13:35,566
Give me an aspirin.
206
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:38,402
Kind of felt you'd be asking for one.
207
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:43,574
If Wise Guy wins the next race,
we'll owe them $2,850,000.
208
00:13:43,657 --> 00:13:45,534
- Who asked you?
- But...
209
00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:48,328
Well, I'll just have to go to the Addamses,
210
00:13:48,412 --> 00:13:52,124
apologize,
and then tell them I didn't place their bets.
211
00:13:52,416 --> 00:13:56,170
What if they won't accept your apology?
What if they demand their money?
212
00:13:56,253 --> 00:14:00,424
- What then?
- Simple. I'll shoot myself.
213
00:14:26,116 --> 00:14:27,367
ANNOUNCER: Coming down to
the line of finish now,
214
00:14:27,451 --> 00:14:29,077
it's Oh For The Boy and Fleet O' Foot.
215
00:14:29,161 --> 00:14:30,454
FESTER: Come on, Fleet O' Foot.
216
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:32,998
Fleet O' Foot is going to the front
by a head.
217
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:37,211
Now a neck, and it's Fleet O' Foot,
the winner by a furlong.
218
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,714
He did it. Good old Fleet O' Foot!
219
00:14:42,758 --> 00:14:45,135
I... I need a drink.
220
00:14:55,979 --> 00:14:58,815
- Isn't this marvelous?
- How much have we won?
221
00:14:58,899 --> 00:15:03,862
Prices on the sixth race.
Fleet O' Foot paid $6 to win, $4.40 to place.
222
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,656
and $2.80 to show.
223
00:15:05,739 --> 00:15:07,616
That means we now have...
224
00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,834
Mr. Hulen!
225
00:15:17,251 --> 00:15:19,336
You look really happy for us.
226
00:15:19,503 --> 00:15:23,507
Mr. Hulen, just think,
we've already won over $7 million.
227
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:26,301
There must be some mistake.
228
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:27,594
Oh?
229
00:15:36,979 --> 00:15:39,898
You were right, Mr. Hulen,
there was a mistake.
230
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:41,817
Yes.
231
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:44,820
Hey, aren't you supposed to be out
on the track placing bets for us?
232
00:15:44,903 --> 00:15:47,656
Uncle Fester,
important men like Mr. Hulen
233
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:52,119
don't go running errands at the track.
That's for the staff. Right, Mr. Hulen?
234
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:56,165
Oh, yes. Yeah.
235
00:15:57,040 --> 00:15:59,501
Oh, well, that brings up
an interesting thought.
236
00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:03,589
Now let's suppose,
this is a hypothetical case of course,
237
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:09,761
but let's suppose that your investment
counselor hadn't placed any bets?
238
00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:13,182
Hadn't placed any bets? Where's my gun?
239
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,935
- I'd shoot him in the back.
- Now, now, Uncle Fester.
240
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:20,731
This is an imaginary situation.
Isn't that right, Mr. Hulen?
241
00:16:20,814 --> 00:16:22,941
Yes, of course.
242
00:16:24,026 --> 00:16:26,612
But what would you do?
243
00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,907
Since gambling bets
aren't enforceable by law...
244
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:33,118
Never mind about that.
I'd shoot him in the back.
245
00:16:33,243 --> 00:16:36,663
- Wouldn't that be rather drastic?
- For betrayal of trust?
246
00:16:36,747 --> 00:16:38,790
Violation of professional ethics?
247
00:16:38,874 --> 00:16:40,959
Shooting in the back
would be too good for him.
248
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:43,504
No, I think it'd be about right.
249
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:48,467
- What do you think, Mr. Hulen?
- I think it's a little warm in here.
250
00:16:49,301 --> 00:16:51,887
- Mr. Hulen, you need a drink.
- Yes... No, no!
251
00:16:53,138 --> 00:16:56,517
You know, I think all of this talk
of gambling has upset Mr. Hulen.
252
00:16:56,600 --> 00:16:58,185
And I don't blame him.
253
00:16:58,477 --> 00:17:02,689
- There's something evil about it.
- Yes, it's just terrible.
254
00:17:02,773 --> 00:17:05,901
I think for his sake we ought
to stop gambling, Gomez.
255
00:17:05,984 --> 00:17:07,986
You may be right, querida.
256
00:17:08,153 --> 00:17:10,197
All right, Mr. Hulen,
we're taking your advice.
257
00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,450
- From now on, no more betting.
- Oh, thank heaven.
258
00:17:13,534 --> 00:17:16,245
Now, if you'll just hand over the $8 million.
259
00:17:16,578 --> 00:17:19,623
- $8 million?
- Well, you can keep the change.
260
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:22,668
You know, you were right, Gomez.
Especially after I read
261
00:17:22,751 --> 00:17:24,753
what The Handicapper says
about our horse.
262
00:17:24,837 --> 00:17:27,631
Granny's lover. 100 to 1.
263
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:30,425
"Fell down, starting gate, Memorial Day.
264
00:17:30,509 --> 00:17:33,262
"Pulled up lame last time out. A real dog."
265
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:36,139
You know,
we could have blown our whole bankroll.
266
00:17:36,390 --> 00:17:39,852
Mr. Hulen, it was very lucky
that you came along when you did.
267
00:17:39,977 --> 00:17:44,273
- Lucky? For whom?
- For us, old boy.
268
00:17:44,523 --> 00:17:48,819
And I can tell by your expression that
that's all you really care about.
269
00:17:50,279 --> 00:17:53,198
Such loyalty. Hits you right here.
270
00:17:53,574 --> 00:17:55,325
Okay, eight million bucks.
271
00:17:55,492 --> 00:17:58,537
It's locked in my safe at the office.
272
00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:01,748
We'll go down with you. We can start
handing some of it out on the way back.
273
00:18:01,832 --> 00:18:04,543
Well, could you hand some of it
out to me now?
274
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:08,589
Why, of course we could, Mr. Hulen.
How much would you like?
275
00:18:08,714 --> 00:18:10,257
$8 million.
276
00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:12,676
Mr. Hulen, have you been gambling?
277
00:18:14,595 --> 00:18:15,971
A hypocrite.
278
00:18:16,388 --> 00:18:18,473
I still think betting is wrong.
279
00:18:18,682 --> 00:18:21,226
Especially a dog who hasn't won a race
for four years.
280
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:23,604
It'd be like throwing the money away.
281
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:28,400
That's right. But you can't quit now.
You're on a winning streak.
282
00:18:28,692 --> 00:18:31,320
Mr. Hulen, how can you say things
like that?
283
00:18:31,570 --> 00:18:34,239
Easy, remember? I'm a hypocrite.
284
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,284
- Oh, yes.
- But this horse is lame.
285
00:18:37,451 --> 00:18:39,536
Excuses. Excuses.
286
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:42,080
Well, that's just a dodge
to drive the price up.
287
00:18:42,164 --> 00:18:43,874
100 to 1. That's not bad.
288
00:18:45,250 --> 00:18:47,252
Are you sure you're not a tout?
289
00:18:47,503 --> 00:18:52,341
- Where's the old Addams spirit?
- Right in your safe. With that $8 million.
290
00:18:52,758 --> 00:18:56,720
You can't back out now,
it would be immoral.
291
00:18:56,803 --> 00:19:00,974
Mr. Hulen, you're very kind
to be concerned about us.
292
00:19:01,391 --> 00:19:03,810
But we can see how
all this is upsetting you.
293
00:19:03,894 --> 00:19:08,440
You were quite right when you said,
"Gambling is a disease of barbarians."
294
00:19:08,524 --> 00:19:11,818
Well, I didn't say that. Shakespeare said it.
295
00:19:11,985 --> 00:19:13,445
You quoted him.
296
00:19:13,529 --> 00:19:15,697
Well, you know me. Big mouth.
297
00:19:17,407 --> 00:19:20,118
And what about your dream?
The trip to the moon.
298
00:19:20,202 --> 00:19:22,663
- It was a momentary whim.
- Whim?
299
00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:27,125
Oh, a trip to the moon
can be, well, a liberal education.
300
00:19:27,459 --> 00:19:29,378
- That's true.
- Of course.
301
00:19:29,461 --> 00:19:31,755
- Still...
- No still about it.
302
00:19:32,005 --> 00:19:34,007
Everybody should have a trip to the moon.
303
00:19:34,091 --> 00:19:36,343
I like your spirit, Hulen.
304
00:19:36,426 --> 00:19:39,304
You're not making much sense,
but I like your spirit.
305
00:19:39,513 --> 00:19:40,681
So do I.
306
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:43,433
Darling, let's make one more bet.
307
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:48,105
- Just as a favor to Mr. Hulen.
- Oh, thank you, thank you.
308
00:19:48,480 --> 00:19:51,358
My man's at the track
and he knows just what to do.
309
00:19:51,984 --> 00:19:53,694
There goes $8 million.
310
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:57,656
What's $8 million when you got
a business manager like Mr. Hulen?
311
00:19:57,739 --> 00:20:01,493
$8 million. Oh, the race is on television.
I'll get it on.
312
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:12,462
ANNOUNCER: They're on.
It's Banner in front. Toby's Boy is second.
313
00:20:12,546 --> 00:20:16,425
Joey Belle is third by two lengths.
Darling Debby is fourth.
314
00:20:16,508 --> 00:20:20,053
Granny's lover didn't even get started.
Get moving, you ox.
315
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,389
Don't stand there, stupid, run!
316
00:20:22,472 --> 00:20:27,352
Uncle Fester, please,
I do not like crude talk, even to horses.
317
00:20:28,437 --> 00:20:30,439
Would you mind moving, sir?
318
00:20:30,522 --> 00:20:32,191
Granny's lover trailing.
319
00:20:36,278 --> 00:20:38,947
Mr. Hulen, you don't seem to understand.
Our horse is losing.
320
00:20:39,031 --> 00:20:40,949
- Yes.
- That's bad.
321
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:43,869
Oh, yes, yes, of course.
322
00:20:46,205 --> 00:20:48,624
Poor Mr. Hulen,
I don't think he knows what's going on.
323
00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,250
State of shock.
324
00:20:50,918 --> 00:20:55,130
At the mile turn it's Toby's Boy by a head.
Banner is second to half.
325
00:20:55,214 --> 00:20:59,134
Joey Belle third on the outside.
Darling Debby is fourth the length.
326
00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:01,136
And here comes Granny's lover.
327
00:21:01,220 --> 00:21:04,264
He heard me. He heard me. He heard me!
328
00:21:04,348 --> 00:21:06,308
Ride it, you old rascal!
329
00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:08,560
You gave Mr. Hulen such a fright.
330
00:21:08,852 --> 00:21:10,979
Come on, something.
331
00:21:11,688 --> 00:21:13,982
Granny's lover is fifth!
332
00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:16,985
He's fourth! He's third!
333
00:21:17,361 --> 00:21:20,405
Mr. Hulen, do you hear?
Our horse is gaining.
334
00:21:20,989 --> 00:21:22,658
Cheer up, old man.
335
00:21:24,326 --> 00:21:27,830
Somehow I have the feeling that
Mr. Hulen is not enjoying this race.
336
00:21:27,913 --> 00:21:29,998
The excitement is too much for him.
337
00:21:30,082 --> 00:21:32,501
- I'd better turn it off.
- No, no, don't please.
338
00:21:32,584 --> 00:21:34,253
I couldn't stand the suspense.
339
00:21:34,336 --> 00:21:38,465
Joey Belle and Granny's lover.
Joey Belle and Granny's lover.
340
00:21:38,549 --> 00:21:40,217
Joey Belle and Granny's lover.
341
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:43,887
Granny's lover on the outside
is going to the front. He's driving!
342
00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:50,060
Joey Belle's on the move.
Here he comes. He's moving up again.
343
00:21:50,185 --> 00:21:52,604
Head and head.
Joey Belle and Granny's lover.
344
00:21:52,688 --> 00:21:55,399
- They're heading for the wire.
- Heading for the wire?
345
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,568
Shouldn't they finish the race first?
346
00:21:57,651 --> 00:22:00,612
That's just an expression, querida.
Pay no attention.
347
00:22:01,697 --> 00:22:04,700
- Come on.
- I can't bear to watch.
348
00:22:06,285 --> 00:22:07,870
They're nose and nose!
349
00:22:07,953 --> 00:22:09,705
I can't even bear to listen.
350
00:22:09,788 --> 00:22:11,707
And the winner is...
351
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,335
Granny's lover!
352
00:22:19,715 --> 00:22:21,049
Mr. Hulen?
353
00:22:26,180 --> 00:22:27,431
Mr. Hulen?
354
00:22:27,973 --> 00:22:32,311
That Hulen, can you imagine?
Going to sleep during that race?
355
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:35,814
Darling, let's wake him up
and tell him the good news.
356
00:22:35,898 --> 00:22:37,232
Mr. Hulen?
357
00:22:38,942 --> 00:22:43,739
- The race is over.
- Did Joey Belle win?
358
00:22:44,072 --> 00:22:46,450
Granny's lover finally came through.
359
00:22:49,328 --> 00:22:51,538
ANNOUNCER ON TV:
Just a moment, ladies and gentlemen.
360
00:22:51,788 --> 00:22:54,416
I don't like the way he said that.
361
00:22:54,500 --> 00:22:58,921
Granny's lover has been disqualified
for crowding, shoving and kicking.
362
00:22:59,004 --> 00:23:02,132
How ridiculous. What else do they expect
from a horse?
363
00:23:03,133 --> 00:23:06,553
Well, I guess we'd better wake Mr. Hulen
and break the news to him.
364
00:23:06,637 --> 00:23:10,557
Let him sleep, darling.
Poor man will be so disappointed.
365
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:12,351
Serves him right, the tout.
366
00:23:22,319 --> 00:23:26,031
Well, there's one consolation.
It's still a nice round figure.
367
00:23:37,334 --> 00:23:39,169
I'm glad we didn't go to the moon.
368
00:23:39,711 --> 00:23:42,005
Yeah, I found out that there's no fish
on the moon.
369
00:23:42,089 --> 00:23:45,551
We need some new fish for our aquarium.
Ours ate each other up.
370
00:23:46,218 --> 00:23:49,596
Oh, Gomez, the children
will be so disappointed.
371
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:51,723
You know how they love their pet piranha.
372
00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:54,184
Think no more about it, my dear.
373
00:23:55,853 --> 00:23:59,648
There's always one man who's ready
to help us with our problems.
374
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:01,859
Mr. Hulen.
375
00:24:04,486 --> 00:24:07,114
Hello, Mr. Hulen? Addams here.
376
00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:12,244
I just called to tell you that I'm taking
my family on a nice, long cruise.
377
00:24:12,786 --> 00:24:14,329
You are a darling.
378
00:24:15,873 --> 00:24:19,042
We're going to gather some fish
for our children's collection.
379
00:24:19,126 --> 00:24:20,502
New ones.
380
00:24:20,878 --> 00:24:23,213
Have to go deeper and deeper, you know.
381
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:27,259
So would you be a good chap
and run out and buy us a submarine?
382
00:24:28,093 --> 00:24:30,137
With nuclear power, of course.
383
00:24:31,930 --> 00:24:33,348
Mr. Hulen?
384
00:24:34,933 --> 00:24:36,226
Hulen?
385
00:24:37,436 --> 00:24:39,897
By Jove, I think he's fallen asleep again.
386
00:24:41,398 --> 00:24:44,943
Strange man.
Nothing seems to excite him.
31635
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