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1
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They're creepy and they're kooky
2
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,188
Mysterious and spooky
3
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:23,190
They're altogether ooky
4
00:00:23,273 --> 00:00:25,192
The Addams family
5
00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:27,236
The house is a museum
6
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,196
When people come to see 'em
7
00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:31,281
They really are a scream
8
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:33,075
The Addams family
9
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,994
MAN: Neat.
10
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,871
Sweet.
11
00:00:39,957 --> 00:00:41,208
Petite.
12
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,126
So get a witch 's shawl on
13
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,087
A broomstick you can crawl on
14
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:47,089
We're gonna pay a call on
15
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,925
The Addams family
16
00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,703
How exciting. Look at them go!
17
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:23,792
This is going to be the greatest
train wreck in railroad history.
18
00:01:23,876 --> 00:01:26,753
I'm gonna switch them
onto the same track. Watch!
19
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:39,808
Wonderful.
20
00:01:43,562 --> 00:01:45,981
Darling, you have such a way with trains.
21
00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:51,486
- I suppose so.
- Weren't you happy with it?
22
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,531
I thought it was your finest wreck.
23
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,201
Perhaps it was. But I've just realized,
24
00:01:57,284 --> 00:02:00,120
if you wreck one train, you wreck them all.
25
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:03,999
Sometimes
I almost wish they'd miss each other.
26
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:06,376
Gomez, what a shocking thought.
27
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:10,005
Maybe we've just gotten into a rut.
28
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:14,927
We do seem to be doing the same things
over and over again.
29
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:19,389
- Our morning stroll through the swamp.
- Fencing across the lunch table.
30
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:29,441
Darling, why don't you come
and have a nice hot cup of henbane?
31
00:02:29,608 --> 00:02:31,610
It'll soothe your nerves.
32
00:02:42,871 --> 00:02:44,248
MORTICIA: Thank you, Thing.
33
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,836
- Darling.
- Thank you.
34
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,799
Darling, maybe we should
take a trip somewhere.
35
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:59,137
Tombstone or Death Valley.
Some fun place.
36
00:02:59,555 --> 00:03:00,889
Perhaps.
37
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,725
Good morning, darling.
38
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:07,479
Would you like a bite? Chew your food.
39
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:13,735
No, no. Cleopatra, you'll spoil your lunch.
40
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:18,198
Darling, maybe we should
have some people in.
41
00:03:18,282 --> 00:03:22,494
That nice Mr. Harris.
He always seemed to enjoy himself here.
42
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,038
That would be pleasant,
but I'm afraid Mr. Harris
43
00:03:25,122 --> 00:03:28,542
won't have the time for us any longer.
Did you see the paper this morning?
44
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:30,502
No, darling, I haven't read the paper yet.
45
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,546
He has a new job working
for the government.
46
00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:38,385
"Foreign diplomats visiting our city.
Roger L. Harris to conduct tour for VIPs."
47
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:41,054
There's a picture.
48
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:44,975
MORTICIA: They certainly seem
to be enjoying the tour.
49
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:53,775
Well, I hope you'll enjoy the places
we're going to see today, gentlemen.
50
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,153
We will not enjoy.
51
00:03:57,196 --> 00:04:01,408
Frankly, Washington is quite upset
about your lack of enthusiasm so far.
52
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:02,534
So?
53
00:04:03,285 --> 00:04:05,454
They seem to blame me for it.
54
00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:08,665
If I fail to give you a good impression
of our country, well...
55
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,834
Oh, it'll mean the axe for me.
56
00:04:11,335 --> 00:04:13,754
- Miri Haan, take note.
- Note I take.
57
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:18,050
If guide fails assignment,
Washington masters will chop off head.
58
00:04:18,133 --> 00:04:19,176
Naturally.
59
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:22,596
No, I don't mean they'll chop my head off.
I mean they'll fire me.
60
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:25,599
- And then set fire to him.
- Destroy evidence.
61
00:04:27,684 --> 00:04:31,021
Gentlemen, look,
you take our language too literally.
62
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:35,025
For two days now your Washington
masters have shown us phony tour.
63
00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:37,069
They only show us what they want us
to see.
64
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,197
You do not show us the real America.
65
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:43,784
The downtrodden masses slaving
under bureaucratic whip.
66
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:45,994
We want to see the people.
The real peoples!
67
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,162
Peoples.
68
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:51,583
All right. All right, anything you say.
You can see anybody you want to.
69
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,254
Good. We choose honest way. By chance.
70
00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:59,550
We stick pin into phone book.
Wherever pin strikes we go.
71
00:05:00,092 --> 00:05:02,553
- All right with me.
- Miri Haan, phone book.
72
00:05:04,388 --> 00:05:05,430
I'll get a pin.
73
00:05:07,099 --> 00:05:09,268
- We use our own pin.
- Always.
74
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:16,191
Eeny, meeny, miney, boom!
75
00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,902
What's the matter, Tish?
Something wrong?
76
00:05:18,986 --> 00:05:22,948
That's strange. I felt just as though
I'd been stuck with a pin.
77
00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:27,077
The Addams. Oh, no, no, they aren't...
They're off limits.
78
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:37,629
Excuse me, sir. Please don't go in there.
79
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:38,755
A-ha!
80
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:41,300
- Guide begs us not to go in. Why?
- Why?
81
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:45,387
Because we have found real American
family, not phony bureaucratic setup.
82
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,680
- That's not so.
- And government
83
00:05:46,763 --> 00:05:49,474
- will chop off his head for this.
- Poor fellow.
84
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:52,352
Come. We go see some real Americans.
85
00:05:54,938 --> 00:05:58,108
Look, fellows, I know
where there's a dandy little bar downtown
86
00:05:58,192 --> 00:06:00,402
with beautiful dancing girls.
You'll have a ball there.
87
00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:01,570
A-ha!
88
00:06:01,653 --> 00:06:06,950
Miri, take note. Guide tries to bribe us
but we refuse. We are strong men.
89
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:11,580
We go later.
Now we go see typical American family.
90
00:06:16,502 --> 00:06:19,296
- Very interesting.
- I take note.
91
00:06:22,257 --> 00:06:24,968
Mrs. Addams,
you have a very interesting house here.
92
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:27,638
I have seen nothing like it before
in America.
93
00:06:27,971 --> 00:06:30,641
Well, it's nothing out of the ordinary,
but we like it.
94
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:33,310
MORTICIA: And I'm so glad
you gentlemen could come.
95
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,146
You've brightened our day immensely.
96
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:38,232
Harris, it was very nice of you
to bring them here.
97
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:41,777
- Well, it wasn't my idea...
- He was very eager for us to meet
98
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:44,988
average American family,
is not so, Mr. Harris?
99
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,867
I keep telling you! The Addams are not
an average family at all.
100
00:06:48,992 --> 00:06:52,371
- How sweet.
- Don't be turning our heads with flattery.
101
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,833
I do wish I'd known you were coming.
102
00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:58,001
I could've planned some sort
of amusement.
103
00:06:58,085 --> 00:07:02,631
Oh, no, please. We wish
to observe everyday routine. Agreed?
104
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:04,341
MORTICIA: Whatever you wish.
105
00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:06,802
Psst.
106
00:07:06,885 --> 00:07:09,304
Our house is your house, gentlemen.
107
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:16,562
Mr. Haan, may I offer you a cigar?
Here, have one.
108
00:07:18,689 --> 00:07:20,482
I will save for later.
109
00:07:21,859 --> 00:07:24,027
Let's join the conversation.
110
00:07:25,279 --> 00:07:26,363
Psst.
111
00:07:29,491 --> 00:07:31,201
Mr. Haan, sit down.
112
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:37,499
- Miri Haan, you're smoking.
- Oh, no, I save for later.
113
00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:43,338
Mr. Haan, I'm terribly sorry.
114
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:46,049
I should've warned you it was a live cigar.
115
00:07:46,133 --> 00:07:48,177
I begged you not to come here
in the first place.
116
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:50,512
Well, gentlemen,
we'd better be running along.
117
00:07:50,596 --> 00:07:51,930
I'm sure you've seen enough.
118
00:07:52,014 --> 00:07:55,184
- And I think...
- We send this back home to laboratory.
119
00:07:59,188 --> 00:08:02,733
I had no idea it was so late.
If you gentlemen will excuse me,
120
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,110
it's time to go feed my plants.
121
00:08:05,694 --> 00:08:08,822
Yes, they get pretty cranky
when they're hungry.
122
00:08:08,989 --> 00:08:11,867
Plants? Plants get hungry?
123
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,577
Cranky?
124
00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,498
Well, after all, they're only human.
125
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,629
I'm quite proud
of Mrs. Addams' hothouse.
126
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,548
She's raised these plants from tiny weeds.
127
00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,760
Darling, would you?
128
00:08:32,888 --> 00:08:35,849
Gardening is all a matter
of proper feeding.
129
00:08:36,225 --> 00:08:38,560
And these plants just love meat.
130
00:08:39,478 --> 00:08:41,480
- Meat?
- Especially when it's medium rare.
131
00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:43,607
Yes, they're really meat eaters.
I've seen them.
132
00:08:43,690 --> 00:08:46,401
Especially that one.
It's a regular little glutton.
133
00:08:46,485 --> 00:08:48,779
Oh, no, no, no. Cleopatra, really.
134
00:08:49,488 --> 00:08:52,032
Mr. Harris was only joking, darling.
135
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:56,578
She's really a sweet little thing.
She's terribly young.
136
00:08:57,287 --> 00:09:00,290
Not very S-M-A-R-T.
137
00:09:00,582 --> 00:09:02,209
But she's learning.
138
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:04,086
Open up, sweetheart.
139
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:06,505
Have some more. There.
140
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,424
Yes.
141
00:09:11,385 --> 00:09:14,096
This is plant, not animal?
142
00:09:14,805 --> 00:09:18,392
- And it is learning?
- She's quite slow, actually.
143
00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,229
She's three years old
and she can't even feed herself yet.
144
00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:24,398
Open up, sweetheart.
145
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,899
Excuse me.
146
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:34,241
- This is big thing we have discovered. Big.
- Very big.
147
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:38,537
They've learnt to breed plants
that have the intelligence of humans.
148
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:41,665
And a mere woman has done this.
An American woman.
149
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,376
Perhaps they have gone further than this?
150
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:48,463
And Harris thought he could hide this
from us.
151
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:52,217
It's all right. We will learn the truth.
Take notes, Miri Haan. Plenty notes.
152
00:09:52,301 --> 00:09:54,094
Plenty notes. Plenty notes.
153
00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:57,764
The mail's in.
154
00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,146
Thank you, Thing.
155
00:10:06,190 --> 00:10:08,942
- What is that?
- Just your imagination.
156
00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:12,613
Don't let him pull your leg.
Thing is as real as any of us.
157
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:15,407
Thing, come up and meet our guests.
158
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:32,132
Thing.
159
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:37,638
Now, now. Dear Thing,
he doesn't know his own strength.
160
00:10:39,431 --> 00:10:42,935
- Anything exciting in the mail, dear?
- Oh yes, lots of bills.
161
00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:45,604
Wonderful. Will you excuse us, please?
162
00:10:48,106 --> 00:10:49,566
Is it real?
163
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:52,945
Muscle and bone, with a grip like iron.
164
00:10:53,612 --> 00:10:56,949
They have made this.
A hand, a single hand by itself.
165
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:09,127
- It likes privacy.
- This is fantastic. Take notes, Miri Haan.
166
00:11:09,294 --> 00:11:10,671
Take notes.
167
00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:15,551
American family has taken first step
towards building robots.
168
00:11:15,926 --> 00:11:18,804
First a plant that moves and thinks
169
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:22,599
and then a hand of flesh and blood.
This is big.
170
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,269
- Very big.
- Bigger than big.
171
00:11:26,478 --> 00:11:29,314
I write everything down. Everything.
172
00:11:47,583 --> 00:11:49,293
Beautiful wreck, isn't it?
173
00:11:49,376 --> 00:11:51,795
- Beautiful wreck?
- Beautiful wreck?
174
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:55,424
Hello, I didn't know
you were having company.
175
00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:59,261
This is our Uncle Fester.
This is Mr. Klarpe and Mr. Haan.
176
00:11:59,344 --> 00:12:01,972
- Of course, you know Mr. Harris.
- Howdy.
177
00:12:02,097 --> 00:12:04,892
- I guess this'll have to wait.
- What'll wait, old boy?
178
00:12:04,975 --> 00:12:09,313
Well, I was feeling a little run down
and I just wanted to get myself recharged.
179
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,607
- Recharged?
- Recharged?
180
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,444
- It's just an expression.
- This is an expression, too?
181
00:12:16,945 --> 00:12:20,991
Oh, no, this is a great little pepper-upper.
Would you like to see it work?
182
00:12:21,325 --> 00:12:24,036
Uncle Fester, I'm sure these gentlemen
wouldn't be interested.
183
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:25,287
No.
184
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:28,207
We'd be very interested.
185
00:12:28,957 --> 00:12:32,211
Good. Well, you'll have to crank it, Gomez.
186
00:12:32,586 --> 00:12:36,173
- He's such an exhibitionist.
- FESTER: Oh, no. I really am run down.
187
00:12:36,298 --> 00:12:38,800
It's just a simple little treatment
to build up his energy.
188
00:12:38,884 --> 00:12:41,803
Yes, well, you see,
I put this little wire in my ear.
189
00:12:45,933 --> 00:12:49,311
This little generator does the rest.
Go ahead, Gomez.
190
00:12:58,445 --> 00:13:01,323
- He really gets a charge out of this.
- Write, write.
191
00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:05,327
You mean he is full of electricity?
192
00:13:05,953 --> 00:13:08,539
Believe me, believe me,
they're just playing a little joke on you.
193
00:13:08,622 --> 00:13:10,207
It's a joke, huh? Touch.
194
00:13:12,668 --> 00:13:14,336
- That's a funny joke.
- Write! Write!
195
00:13:14,419 --> 00:13:15,879
I'm writing, I'm writing right now.
196
00:13:16,004 --> 00:13:17,631
Stop! Stop!
197
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:19,550
Stop it.
198
00:13:22,261 --> 00:13:24,555
I'm sorry, Harris, but he did warn you.
199
00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:27,516
It'll tingle for a while
but then it'll wear off.
200
00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:31,019
I feel so good now,
I'm gonna go out and chase automobiles.
201
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,729
Wonderful hobby.
202
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,232
Stay away from water, Uncle Fester.
203
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,568
The last time he was recharged
he took a shower
204
00:13:37,651 --> 00:13:40,237
and blew out every fuse in the house.
205
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:45,075
- Americans, in order to get energy...
- Energy.
206
00:13:45,242 --> 00:13:47,452
-...put electricity in ear.
- Ear.
207
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:49,621
- Like vitamins in stomach...
- Stomach.
208
00:13:49,705 --> 00:13:52,124
-...which we invented.
- Which we invented.
209
00:13:52,875 --> 00:13:53,959
That reminds me,
210
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,919
would you gentlemen care
to join us in a snack?
211
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:58,130
- Oh, no, no, really.
- We stay.
212
00:13:59,464 --> 00:14:02,342
- We stay.
- Excellent. I'll ring for Lurch.
213
00:14:03,552 --> 00:14:07,097
- This Lurch, is he servant?
- Yes, he's our butler.
214
00:14:07,306 --> 00:14:09,474
Finally, we are
to meet downtrodden member
215
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:11,143
of the American slave class.
216
00:14:11,226 --> 00:14:13,645
Poor, weak victim of exploitation.
217
00:14:15,898 --> 00:14:17,274
It is strong bell.
218
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:19,526
You rang?
219
00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,573
Lunch, Lurch.
And, oh, yes, Lurch, a cigar, please.
220
00:14:33,165 --> 00:14:34,833
Thank you, Lurch.
221
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:38,879
Would you gentlemen care for a cigar?
222
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:42,591
- Oh, no, no, no.
- No, no, thank you.
223
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:49,890
Well, if you'll excuse me,
I'll get Mrs. Addams.
224
00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,936
Thank you, Lurch.
225
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,570
That is poor, weak slave?
226
00:15:04,404 --> 00:15:06,740
- Miri Haan, take note.
- Take note.
227
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:11,578
- Servant of typical American family, robot.
- Robot.
228
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,331
- Wait a minute, that's not true.
- Is true.
229
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,251
- Third stage.
- Third stage? What are you talking about?
230
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:21,088
Simple. First stage plant,
second stage hand,
231
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:25,384
final product human robot.
Flood labor market.
232
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:29,721
- Flood labor market.
- This is ridiculous. Lurch is no robot.
233
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:32,432
- Then what is he?
- Well, he's a...
234
00:15:34,309 --> 00:15:37,020
I don't know exactly,
but you'll never find another one like it.
235
00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,439
How could be? Is typical American family.
236
00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:42,609
Typical! I keep telling you.
It's the only one of its kind.
237
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:46,363
- Please, let's get out of here.
- Still trying to hide from us truth.
238
00:15:47,072 --> 00:15:50,158
You still trying
to pull bourgeois wool over our eyes.
239
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:01,670
I do hope
you gentlemen enjoyed our modest table.
240
00:16:01,879 --> 00:16:05,549
Was very good. Most thoughtful of you
to serve caviar in our honor.
241
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,844
- Caviar?
- The black fish eggs on toast.
242
00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:10,345
Very good.
243
00:16:10,429 --> 00:16:13,015
Oh, you mean eye of tadpole?
244
00:16:14,808 --> 00:16:16,351
Eye of tadpole?
245
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:20,355
Blue-eyed tadpole is even tastier
than black-eyed tadpole
246
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:22,900
but it's off-season for blue-eyed tadpole.
247
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:27,487
Beef is good, too.
Not as good as in our country, but is good.
248
00:16:27,571 --> 00:16:31,533
Mr. Haan, that wasn't beef.
That's breast of alligator.
249
00:16:31,909 --> 00:16:33,243
Alligator?
250
00:16:34,953 --> 00:16:37,998
How about that henbane sauce?
Specialty of the house.
251
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:41,460
Shall we repair
to the living-room, gentlemen?
252
00:16:42,503 --> 00:16:44,254
- You have been marvelous hostess.
- Thank you.
253
00:16:44,338 --> 00:16:45,506
- Very nice.
- Very nice.
254
00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:46,924
No sense in wasting this.
255
00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:49,426
Tristan and Isolde love alligator.
256
00:16:55,432 --> 00:16:57,559
Told you. Care to make a wish?
257
00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:31,009
Mother, I finished my...
258
00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,386
Oh. Company.
259
00:17:32,928 --> 00:17:35,556
Gentlemen, this is our son, Pugsley.
260
00:17:37,641 --> 00:17:41,019
Now, young man, what brought you racing
in here so unceremoniously?
261
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:44,273
- I've finished my disintegrator gun.
- Well, that's nice, dear.
262
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:47,442
- Run outside and play.
- Would you like to see it work, sir?
263
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:49,653
I'm sure these gentlemen
have no time to...
264
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,823
No, no, no.
Let's not disappoint the little fellow.
265
00:17:54,157 --> 00:17:57,202
- So you build disintegrator gun, eh?
- That's right.
266
00:17:57,786 --> 00:18:00,497
You mean you point disintegrator
at something,
267
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:03,125
pull trigger,
and that something disappear?
268
00:18:03,375 --> 00:18:05,377
That's right, sir. Watch.
269
00:18:15,888 --> 00:18:18,891
You mean you just point it...
270
00:18:29,109 --> 00:18:32,196
I think you'd better play with this outside,
Pugsley.
271
00:18:32,279 --> 00:18:35,115
- It's rather hard on the bric-a-brac.
- Yes, Father.
272
00:18:35,574 --> 00:18:37,576
Nice to have met you, sir.
273
00:18:39,828 --> 00:18:42,998
Poor Mr. Harris. Little things upset him so.
274
00:18:44,291 --> 00:18:47,127
Very high-strung.
I'll have Lurch take care of him.
275
00:18:51,340 --> 00:18:52,466
You rang?
276
00:18:52,549 --> 00:18:55,344
Yes. Lurch, would you take Mr. Harris
to the guest room?
277
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:57,304
He needs a bit of rest.
278
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:02,559
Oh, please, I don't
need anything, l...
279
00:19:02,643 --> 00:19:04,311
Come.
280
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:10,776
Very hospitable.
281
00:19:11,610 --> 00:19:13,237
Never mind that.
282
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:18,158
The little fellow,
he made that gun himself?
283
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:21,537
He just can't keep out of mischief.
284
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:24,373
Remember the anti-gravity machine
he made,
285
00:19:24,456 --> 00:19:26,917
and what happened when he turned it
on the postman?
286
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,002
Oh, yes, that was amusing.
287
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:32,214
The mailman just went floating off
up in the air.
288
00:19:33,257 --> 00:19:35,008
He really hated to come down.
289
00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:38,637
He said the floating
was so much easier on his feet.
290
00:19:42,307 --> 00:19:43,934
He needs to rest.
291
00:19:46,103 --> 00:19:49,898
Well, be my guest.
I just had the whole thing sharpened.
292
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:54,236
- Oh, no, no.
- Or maybe you'd prefer the iron maiden?
293
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:59,283
These spikes will help you keep nice
and still. It's very restful.
294
00:19:59,366 --> 00:20:02,202
I don't need any rest, I'm fine.
Please just put me down.
295
00:20:02,661 --> 00:20:05,122
All right. That'll be all, Lurch.
296
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:13,463
You know, Mr. Harris,
there is an art in relaxing.
297
00:20:13,589 --> 00:20:17,301
Well, I'll never master it in this menagerie.
I almost got wiped out by a ray gun.
298
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:23,807
That Pugsley. Such a showoff.
That's how we lost Cousin Creep.
299
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,060
There he was, giggling and laughing
300
00:20:27,144 --> 00:20:30,772
and suddenly there he wasn't,
still giggling and laughing.
301
00:20:30,856 --> 00:20:32,608
It was kind of eerie.
302
00:20:32,691 --> 00:20:35,903
But that was old Creepy.
He could always take a joke.
303
00:20:35,986 --> 00:20:37,112
Well...
304
00:20:37,196 --> 00:20:39,156
The impression those two men
are getting in this house,
305
00:20:39,239 --> 00:20:41,658
it could disrupt international relations.
306
00:20:41,742 --> 00:20:44,536
I did think they were getting a little bored.
307
00:20:44,620 --> 00:20:49,124
What if I was to go in and do some
parlor trick? I can saw a woman in half.
308
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:51,168
- Oh, no, no, no.
- Oh, yes. It goes...
309
00:20:55,672 --> 00:20:59,092
The only trouble
I have is getting her together again.
310
00:21:03,555 --> 00:21:05,224
Very strange man.
311
00:21:12,648 --> 00:21:14,274
That is restful.
312
00:21:16,193 --> 00:21:19,404
I'm very worried.
This is not what we expected.
313
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:22,574
How can you expect
what is so unexpected?
314
00:21:23,367 --> 00:21:25,369
We thought
average Americans were fools.
315
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:27,746
Now we learn they are geniuses.
316
00:21:27,830 --> 00:21:31,083
- MIRI: Dangerous geniuses.
- Electricity and eerie robots.
317
00:21:31,375 --> 00:21:33,460
Ray guns built by little boys already.
318
00:21:33,544 --> 00:21:37,965
I will make full report. From now on,
we must learn to respect all Americans.
319
00:21:39,758 --> 00:21:42,427
Is not safe to offend these people.
Is not safe.
320
00:21:42,511 --> 00:21:44,847
Rather be friend than meet end.
321
00:21:45,764 --> 00:21:48,642
Well, gentlemen, have you found out all
you want to know
322
00:21:48,725 --> 00:21:51,520
- about us typical Americans?
- We have.
323
00:21:51,603 --> 00:21:53,939
Though you try hard
to keep us from learning truth.
324
00:21:54,022 --> 00:21:56,024
I was just doing my duty.
325
00:21:56,567 --> 00:22:00,320
- Now we say goodbye to our hosts.
- Oh, yes, let's get moving.
326
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:06,827
- I just made $100,000.
- Really? How nice.
327
00:22:07,411 --> 00:22:09,163
Oops, just lost it again.
328
00:22:10,998 --> 00:22:12,416
C'est la guerre.
329
00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:17,421
Tish, when you speak French
you drive me wild.
330
00:22:24,720 --> 00:22:26,597
Excuse me, gentlemen.
331
00:22:27,890 --> 00:22:30,225
Gomez, darling, control yourself.
332
00:22:31,643 --> 00:22:34,521
I think perhaps we better leave.
333
00:22:35,105 --> 00:22:36,690
Very thoughtful.
334
00:22:37,691 --> 00:22:40,903
We wish to thank you
for a most enlightening day.
335
00:22:42,237 --> 00:22:44,364
You've brightened our day, too.
336
00:22:44,448 --> 00:22:47,409
We were about to settle down
to our everyday routine.
337
00:22:48,243 --> 00:22:49,328
No notes.
338
00:22:49,912 --> 00:22:51,914
- Good night.
- Good night.
339
00:22:52,289 --> 00:22:54,041
- Good night.
- Good night.
340
00:22:54,583 --> 00:22:58,420
You know, darling, I've been thinking.
The simple life is really the best.
341
00:22:58,504 --> 00:23:00,005
You're right.
342
00:23:06,678 --> 00:23:09,515
Uncle Fester, are you sure
this'll help you get rid of your headache?
343
00:23:09,598 --> 00:23:10,974
Keep going.
344
00:23:16,980 --> 00:23:19,983
- That's it.
- Good.
345
00:23:31,161 --> 00:23:36,083
Darling, you look so serene and happy
when you're throwing knives.
346
00:23:36,166 --> 00:23:37,668
Family trait.
347
00:23:40,754 --> 00:23:42,381
Thank you, Thing.
348
00:23:44,174 --> 00:23:48,303
Hello, this is Mrs. Addams speaking.
Why, hello, Mr. Harris.
349
00:23:52,724 --> 00:23:55,936
Really? Well, how nice of you to call.
350
00:23:56,562 --> 00:23:57,855
Goodbye.
351
00:23:58,647 --> 00:24:01,191
Gomez, that was that nice Mr. Harris.
352
00:24:01,275 --> 00:24:03,527
He says
our guests have cut their trip short
353
00:24:03,610 --> 00:24:06,113
and have gone home to make a full report.
354
00:24:06,196 --> 00:24:08,031
- Well, that's too bad.
- Oh, no.
355
00:24:08,115 --> 00:24:10,534
Mr. Harris says he's glad they're gone.
356
00:24:10,617 --> 00:24:13,370
He said he overheard them talking
about taking Lurch with them
357
00:24:13,453 --> 00:24:15,414
for scientific purposes.
358
00:24:16,665 --> 00:24:18,250
Scientific purposes.
359
00:24:18,333 --> 00:24:20,627
The things people will do
to get a good servant.
360
00:24:20,711 --> 00:24:22,337
Most ungracious.
361
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:27,885
Let's not give them another thought.
Back to our own beautiful world.
28868
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