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1
00:00:08,300 --> 00:00:10,800
(eerie music)
2
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,567
(door creaking)
3
00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:34,533
(unsteady breathing)
4
00:00:34,533 --> 00:00:35,833
- Neil?
5
00:00:35,833 --> 00:00:37,167
(door creaking)
6
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:37,967
Anyone?
7
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:44,167
- [Man] Get off my stage.
8
00:00:51,933 --> 00:00:53,600
Is someone there?
9
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:54,900
Neil, is that you?
10
00:00:56,833 --> 00:01:00,767
- [Man] You don't deserve
to be on the stage.
11
00:01:00,767 --> 00:01:02,900
Get out, get off my stage.
12
00:01:07,933 --> 00:01:09,633
(woman yelps)
13
00:01:09,633 --> 00:01:11,800
(woman screams)
14
00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:14,367
(man laughing)
15
00:01:16,300 --> 00:01:17,600
- [Man] Hello, I need your help.
16
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:18,800
- [Woman] My books are
reading themselves.
17
00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:20,267
- [Man] My truck's
stolen itself.
18
00:01:20,267 --> 00:01:21,500
- [Woman] The costume
shop comes alive at night.
19
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:23,733
- [Man] My glasses
aren't making me see.
20
00:01:23,733 --> 00:01:26,800
(eerie choral music)
21
00:01:32,233 --> 00:01:34,267
- Yes, Mrs. Merrylease,
it's just that, you know,
22
00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:36,400
you think he's angry
with you every night.
23
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:39,500
Siamese cats, they
look angry by default,
24
00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,600
you know, they have
very angular features.
25
00:01:41,600 --> 00:01:43,433
They've got angular
eyes, you know,
26
00:01:43,433 --> 00:01:46,667
they're like a
witch's eyes, really.
27
00:01:47,867 --> 00:01:49,367
Oh, you're talking
about the tabby?
28
00:01:49,367 --> 00:01:53,633
Yeah, no, well, they generally
are more friendly-looking.
29
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:56,967
- [Gregor] Take it all off.
30
00:01:56,967 --> 00:02:00,200
- Mrs. Merrylease, I've
gotta go now, okay, bye-bye.
31
00:02:02,567 --> 00:02:04,067
- [Gregor] See, he likes it.
32
00:02:05,767 --> 00:02:08,367
Now you do it, take it all off.
33
00:02:09,700 --> 00:02:12,733
Seriously, no, seriously,
no, no one's here.
34
00:02:12,733 --> 00:02:14,933
Banks is in the other room-
35
00:02:14,933 --> 00:02:16,300
(Banks groans)
36
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:17,700
Were you raised in a tent?
37
00:02:17,700 --> 00:02:18,633
- They're new sheets.
38
00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:20,667
Were you on Lady Town again?
39
00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:24,200
- Was on Lady Town,
she's disconnected.
40
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:25,567
- You should be
ashamed of yourself,
41
00:02:25,567 --> 00:02:30,133
a man of your age
stripping for a webcam.
42
00:02:30,133 --> 00:02:31,467
- I was just trying it out,
43
00:02:31,467 --> 00:02:35,067
and anyway, it was
Rhonda's idea, she's 56.
44
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,133
She's Sagittarian,
so she's adventurous.
45
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:41,967
- I don't, I don't want
any of this in my life.
46
00:02:41,967 --> 00:02:43,967
Gregor, I really don't want you
47
00:02:43,967 --> 00:02:46,600
chatting up women
on my bed, okay?
48
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,967
- Now, Banks, we both
know there's only one way
49
00:02:49,967 --> 00:02:51,933
that you can get
what you really want.
50
00:02:51,933 --> 00:02:53,633
- I already gave you $40.
51
00:02:53,633 --> 00:02:56,067
- That was for Babe Town,
52
00:02:56,067 --> 00:02:57,433
this is Lady Town.
(phone ringing)
53
00:02:57,433 --> 00:02:59,767
Babe Town's so
yesterday, anyway.
54
00:03:05,433 --> 00:03:07,733
- Hello, Coolum Beach Police,
Officer Banks speaking.
55
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:13,100
I'm sorry, did you say you'd
hit a racist with your car?
56
00:03:13,100 --> 00:03:13,967
- Mr. Phillips?
57
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:15,767
- No.
58
00:03:16,667 --> 00:03:17,500
- Mrs. Phillips?
59
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,467
- I'm sorry, where are you?
60
00:03:22,467 --> 00:03:25,600
(upbeat music)
61
00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,867
- Are you sure you
got the right address?
62
00:03:27,867 --> 00:03:29,167
The racists live on the other
63
00:03:29,167 --> 00:03:31,500
side of town near the butchers.
64
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,600
- Well, yeah, this
is what they said.
65
00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:37,600
(woman moaning)
66
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:38,900
Far out.
67
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:40,267
- Steady, Banks.
68
00:03:40,267 --> 00:03:42,267
- You could, just, stay off.
69
00:03:43,700 --> 00:03:46,367
(ominous music)
70
00:03:47,533 --> 00:03:49,500
- "Sorry, had to hit and run,
71
00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,367
but I don't wanna go to jail.
72
00:03:51,367 --> 00:03:55,133
I went there once and
it was pretty cray-cray.
73
00:03:55,133 --> 00:03:57,933
Plus, she's a
racist, smiley face."
74
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:01,900
- No, she's covered
in black paint.
75
00:04:01,900 --> 00:04:03,733
- She's blacked up,
it's disgusting.
76
00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:05,667
- She's breathing normally.
77
00:04:05,667 --> 00:04:06,567
- [Gregor] Really?
78
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:08,633
- Okay, she's got a pulse.
79
00:04:08,633 --> 00:04:09,600
- Dammit.
80
00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,300
(woman moaning)
81
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,567
- Okay, okay, lady,
now, can you hear me?
82
00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:15,900
We're gonna get you out of here.
83
00:04:15,900 --> 00:04:17,333
- No we won't.
84
00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:20,933
- Gregor, help me get
her back to the truck.
85
00:04:20,933 --> 00:04:23,800
- I haven't had a racist in
my truck for three years.
86
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,567
- She's injured, we're not
just gonna leave her here.
87
00:04:26,567 --> 00:04:28,800
- Now, Banks, you
and I both know,
88
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:30,667
the only way you're
gonna get what you want-
89
00:04:30,667 --> 00:04:31,833
- I'll give you $40.
90
00:04:31,833 --> 00:04:33,733
- I'll grab her legs.
91
00:04:33,733 --> 00:04:34,567
Come on.
92
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:38,100
(ominous music)
93
00:04:40,667 --> 00:04:43,867
- Hi, are you feeling better?
94
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,533
- I'm fine, I should
get back to work.
95
00:04:46,533 --> 00:04:48,600
- Right, Lucy, you've
just been hit by a car.
96
00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:49,800
- It was only a Barina.
97
00:04:50,967 --> 00:04:55,600
- Okay, are you sure, you know,
98
00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:57,433
work can't just
wait 'til tomorrow?
99
00:04:57,433 --> 00:04:59,700
- My boss'll be furious
if I don't finish.
100
00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,233
- I'm sure he'd understand.
101
00:05:01,233 --> 00:05:02,600
- No, he won't.
102
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:06,667
He's had me working day
and night, he's a bully,
103
00:05:06,667 --> 00:05:10,800
and I always just do
as he says, always.
104
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,567
- Lucy, let me tell you a story
105
00:05:13,567 --> 00:05:17,367
about a young man,
a fat young man,
106
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,900
who did everything his
boss asked him to do,
107
00:05:19,900 --> 00:05:21,567
no matter how humiliating.
108
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:25,467
I'm talking about Banks.
109
00:05:25,467 --> 00:05:26,300
- Yes, yes, we know.
110
00:05:26,300 --> 00:05:27,833
Good, okay, thank you.
111
00:05:27,833 --> 00:05:30,100
What Gregor's trying
to say, I imagine,
112
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,900
is that you seem nice
and hard-working,
113
00:05:32,900 --> 00:05:34,333
and you're honest, you know,
114
00:05:34,333 --> 00:05:37,333
and they're really, they're
good traits, you know,
115
00:05:37,333 --> 00:05:40,067
and if your boss
doesn't appreciate that,
116
00:05:40,067 --> 00:05:43,600
well, then he just
doesn't deserve you, Lucy.
117
00:05:44,767 --> 00:05:46,800
- But if I catch you
blacking up again,
118
00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,400
it'll be go time,
girly, whoo-hoo.
119
00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:55,900
(soft jazz music)
120
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,733
- Banks!
121
00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,833
- Shh, he's sleeping.
122
00:05:58,833 --> 00:06:00,800
- Banks, I wanna talk
to you right now.
123
00:06:01,967 --> 00:06:03,400
- [Banks] Yes, yes
sir, just a minute.
124
00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,500
- Well, congratulations,
he's awake now.
125
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:08,133
- What are you doing here?
126
00:06:08,133 --> 00:06:10,133
(Rhonda speaking indistinctly)
127
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:10,967
Ugh!
128
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:13,333
- [Rhonda] It's a cop!
129
00:06:13,333 --> 00:06:16,133
You told me no one was
there, there's always-
130
00:06:16,133 --> 00:06:17,967
- [Gregor] Disgusting.
131
00:06:20,967 --> 00:06:22,233
Morning, sleepy head.
132
00:06:22,233 --> 00:06:23,167
- Sarge?
133
00:06:23,167 --> 00:06:25,333
- Do you know any set builders?
134
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:27,467
- No, I don't.
135
00:06:27,467 --> 00:06:29,533
- Do you know why
I need one, Banks?
136
00:06:29,533 --> 00:06:30,733
- No.
137
00:06:30,733 --> 00:06:31,667
- [Gregor] Did I ever
tell you I was in
138
00:06:31,667 --> 00:06:33,067
a stage play of Jurassic Park?
139
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,467
- Gregor!
140
00:06:34,467 --> 00:06:37,067
Because last night, 24
hours before the premiere,
141
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:39,733
you told my set builder to quit.
142
00:06:41,833 --> 00:06:43,300
- Morning, Banks.
- Morning.
143
00:06:46,433 --> 00:06:50,433
Wait, Lucy was working
for you on a play?
144
00:06:53,133 --> 00:06:56,133
- Was, and not
just a play, Banks,
145
00:06:56,133 --> 00:06:58,967
"The Phantom of the Opera,"
and I'm the Phantom.
146
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,400
It's gonna be one
heck of a show.
147
00:07:01,400 --> 00:07:03,733
At least it was before
you got involved.
148
00:07:03,733 --> 00:07:05,800
- Lucy just seemed
really sad last night.
149
00:07:06,867 --> 00:07:10,067
I'm sorry she's quit your play.
150
00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:12,300
- She's a racist, you know.
151
00:07:12,300 --> 00:07:15,833
- She's worse than that,
she's a vandal now, too.
152
00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:20,933
There's been a few creative
differences on this show.
153
00:07:20,933 --> 00:07:22,900
Not everyone's been on
board with my vision.
154
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:24,433
Some people want to
take the easy option,
155
00:07:24,433 --> 00:07:27,133
but I told them, I said, "If
we're gonna do the Phantom,
156
00:07:27,133 --> 00:07:29,400
then let's do the Phantom, okay?
157
00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:33,400
Gondola, subterranean lake,
U-boat," and now, all ruined.
158
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:36,733
(electricity crackling)
159
00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:37,967
- U-boat.
160
00:07:37,967 --> 00:07:40,067
- Banks, I'm talking
about the original
161
00:07:40,067 --> 00:07:42,633
1942 production, during the war.
162
00:07:42,633 --> 00:07:43,900
- Didn't Andrew Lloyd Webber-
163
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:46,367
- Andrew Lloyd Webber
stole it from Coolum,
164
00:07:46,367 --> 00:07:47,900
added some cheesy show tunes,
165
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:51,067
swapped out the U-boat for
a gondola, made a fortune.
166
00:07:51,067 --> 00:07:53,333
- So the first production
of "Phantom" was in Coolum
167
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,500
during the Second World War?
168
00:07:56,500 --> 00:07:59,300
- That's right, and this
production is gonna put Coolum
169
00:07:59,300 --> 00:08:01,600
back in the spotlight
where it belongs.
170
00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:07,500
- Why is there a mouse?
171
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,067
- Squid.
- Squid.
172
00:08:11,233 --> 00:08:13,067
- It symbolizes the
terrifying threat
173
00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:14,500
from the Germans,
isn't that clear?
174
00:08:14,500 --> 00:08:16,400
- Yes, it's really clear.
175
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:17,200
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
176
00:08:17,200 --> 00:08:18,733
- Good.
177
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:21,967
I want you to fix these sets,
Banks, we open tomorrow night.
178
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:23,133
You help him.
179
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:24,600
- Why me?
180
00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:26,867
- Oh, I don't know, you're
supposed to be town security.
181
00:08:26,867 --> 00:08:28,467
You're supposed to keep an
eye on this place at night.
182
00:08:28,467 --> 00:08:29,667
- I do.
183
00:08:29,667 --> 00:08:31,200
- [Neil] Then how do
vandals keep getting in?
184
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:32,067
- Magic?
185
00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:36,067
- Instructions are on the
podium, paints are by the squid.
186
00:08:36,067 --> 00:08:36,900
- Mouse.
187
00:08:38,333 --> 00:08:40,067
Squid, sorry, Sarge, look,
is this really the best-
188
00:08:40,067 --> 00:08:43,667
- Listen, Banks, this is a
big deal for Coolum, okay?
189
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:45,867
If you get this right,
people around here
190
00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:48,233
might even start to like you.
191
00:08:48,233 --> 00:08:49,933
- What, who doesn't like me?
192
00:08:49,933 --> 00:08:54,200
- Mr. Sheehan, Mr.
Jacobson, the Maski family.
193
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,533
- The Maskis, seriously?
194
00:08:57,533 --> 00:08:59,067
They like everyone.
195
00:08:59,067 --> 00:09:00,167
- Not you, Banks.
196
00:09:01,067 --> 00:09:02,400
Just get it done.
197
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,067
I'll be back here at
9:00 a.m. tomorrow,
198
00:09:04,067 --> 00:09:07,067
and I had better see some
razzle-dazzle, Banks.
199
00:09:07,067 --> 00:09:08,300
Razzle-dazzle!
200
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:10,433
- All right, I guess
we better get started.
201
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:13,100
- Now, Banks, you and I
know there's only one way-
202
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,267
- $40.
203
00:09:14,267 --> 00:09:15,400
- I'll get the brushes.
204
00:09:18,433 --> 00:09:21,100
(ominous music)
205
00:09:25,167 --> 00:09:27,167
Hey, Banks, why don't you pay me
206
00:09:27,167 --> 00:09:29,900
to stand on one leg for
the rest of the day?
207
00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:33,100
- Gregor, I can't keep giving
you money to do things.
208
00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,500
- Can't or won't?
209
00:09:34,500 --> 00:09:36,500
- Can't, I'm not made of money.
210
00:09:36,500 --> 00:09:39,367
- Well, neither am I, I'm
living from hand to mouth.
211
00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:41,900
- Where did you get those shoes?
212
00:09:41,900 --> 00:09:43,567
- Oh, they're new.
213
00:09:43,567 --> 00:09:46,533
They look good but they're
incredibly uncomfortable.
214
00:09:47,600 --> 00:09:48,433
- Right.
215
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,200
What?
216
00:09:51,200 --> 00:09:52,600
- Oh, it's not finished yet.
217
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,200
- Why did you write
fat Banks under it?
218
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,367
I don't look like that, do I?
219
00:09:58,367 --> 00:09:59,500
(door creaking)
220
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:02,067
Shh, did you hear that?
221
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:04,367
That could be the
vandal, come on.
222
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:07,300
- Wait, Banks, this
place has a history.
223
00:10:07,300 --> 00:10:09,100
- If this is gonna be
one of your stories,
224
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,200
I really don't have time for it.
225
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,367
- It's very short.
226
00:10:11,367 --> 00:10:12,533
- Can I have a guess?
227
00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:16,800
Um, the theater is haunted.
228
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:18,200
- Yes, how did you know that?
229
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,433
- Because every
theater has a ghost.
230
00:10:20,433 --> 00:10:22,567
It's all theatrics, Gregor.
231
00:10:22,567 --> 00:10:26,467
This place is no more
haunted than the caravan is.
232
00:10:26,467 --> 00:10:28,400
- Oh, so you met Mr. Coops.
233
00:10:28,400 --> 00:10:29,733
- What, who?
234
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:31,267
- The caravan's ghost.
235
00:10:31,267 --> 00:10:35,433
This young basketballer on a
freezing night once choked-
236
00:10:35,433 --> 00:10:36,267
(metal thudding)
237
00:10:36,267 --> 00:10:37,067
- Shh.
238
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:46,167
(ominous music)
(curtains rustling)
239
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:01,067
What is it?
240
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:03,667
- It's a Coolie, still
fresh, he's here.
241
00:11:04,667 --> 00:11:06,567
- So your ghost smokes now?
242
00:11:07,700 --> 00:11:10,067
- I don't know, but
this brand of cigarette
243
00:11:10,067 --> 00:11:14,600
hasn't been made for
50 years, explain that.
244
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,067
- Well, you heard Sarge,
there's been a lot of
245
00:11:17,067 --> 00:11:20,333
creative differences on the
show, whatever that means.
246
00:11:20,333 --> 00:11:22,433
I reckon it's like
an angry stagehand's
247
00:11:22,433 --> 00:11:23,900
trying to get back at him.
248
00:11:23,900 --> 00:11:26,700
- Yeah, or an angry ghost
leaving a message for someone.
249
00:11:26,700 --> 00:11:28,067
- Don't be ridiculous,
250
00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:30,067
no one's leaving any
messages for anyone.
251
00:11:32,900 --> 00:11:34,700
- Say cheese.
(camera shutter clicking)
252
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:36,200
(Banks gulps)
253
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,667
When a ghost does this,
it means you're gonna die.
254
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:43,600
- Wait, where are you going?
255
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,067
- Toilet break.
256
00:11:45,067 --> 00:11:47,667
- You're just gonna
leave me here on my own?
257
00:11:47,667 --> 00:11:49,533
- What's the matter, scared?
258
00:11:49,533 --> 00:11:52,333
- Yes, I'm scared about
what Sarge is gonna say
259
00:11:52,333 --> 00:11:53,967
when he finds out we haven't
finished this in time.
260
00:11:53,967 --> 00:11:56,433
- Would you like to come
with me, hold me wang?
261
00:11:56,433 --> 00:11:58,267
- No, just hurry up.
262
00:11:58,267 --> 00:12:01,067
(Gregor chuckles)
263
00:12:03,167 --> 00:12:05,900
(man whispering)
264
00:12:08,567 --> 00:12:11,233
(door slamming)
265
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,867
Gregor, is that you?
266
00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:26,400
- [Man] You're not
worthy of my stage.
267
00:12:29,467 --> 00:12:31,300
- Gregor, is that you?
268
00:12:35,700 --> 00:12:38,367
(door creaking)
269
00:12:42,767 --> 00:12:45,267
(Banks gasps)
270
00:12:52,633 --> 00:12:53,933
Whoa, stop, hey.
271
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:02,067
(ominous music)
272
00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:08,267
- [Man] Behind you.
273
00:13:08,267 --> 00:13:11,600
- Stop, I'm a policeman,
you're trespassing.
274
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:16,600
Hello?
275
00:13:17,967 --> 00:13:20,900
(soft piano music)
276
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,867
Who keeps moving around in here?
277
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:29,100
Hello?
278
00:13:34,333 --> 00:13:36,900
(door creaks)
279
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,567
(Banks screams)
280
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:45,400
(soft piano music)
281
00:13:59,433 --> 00:14:00,767
- We are not alone.
282
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:02,467
- Jesus, don't do that.
283
00:14:03,533 --> 00:14:05,067
Where were you?
284
00:14:05,067 --> 00:14:07,200
- Toilet break, but I got
a stiffy and I couldn't go,
285
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:10,400
and I heard you squealing,
so I came to investigate.
286
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,900
- There was someone up there.
287
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:13,100
- What'd they look like?
288
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:15,133
- They were whispering
and, I don't know,
289
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,800
they had a stupid costume on.
290
00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:20,400
A mask and, like, a cape.
291
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:22,300
- Something like this?
292
00:14:22,300 --> 00:14:23,133
- Yes.
293
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:29,300
- Burt Ferguson, the genius
behind the original play.
294
00:14:30,467 --> 00:14:32,833
Matinee reviews were fantastic
295
00:14:32,833 --> 00:14:37,200
and Burt felt that it was
his ticket to the West End,
296
00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,867
but then tragedy happened.
297
00:14:38,867 --> 00:14:40,700
On opening night he dropped dead
298
00:14:40,700 --> 00:14:42,933
right there on stage
in front of everyone.
299
00:14:44,067 --> 00:14:44,933
- Heart attack.
300
00:14:44,933 --> 00:14:45,767
- Gout.
301
00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:49,400
Poor bugger never got
to finish his show,
302
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:54,067
and they say that's why
he roams these halls,
303
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:56,233
just searching for an audience
304
00:14:56,233 --> 00:15:01,233
so they can watch him perform
that last scene of his play.
305
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:06,067
- Yeah, it's not a ghost,
Gregor, it's a vandal, okay,
306
00:15:06,067 --> 00:15:08,367
and it's guilty of trespass,
307
00:15:08,367 --> 00:15:10,267
willful destruction of property,
308
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:14,233
and now smoking in a
non-smoking theater.
309
00:15:14,233 --> 00:15:16,367
- Coolies, it's Burt's favorite.
310
00:15:17,967 --> 00:15:21,367
(glass smashing)
311
00:15:21,367 --> 00:15:22,533
- No, the set!
312
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:27,100
No, the squid.
313
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,667
- Burt is one really
pissed off poltergeist.
314
00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:33,100
- How is this guy getting in?
315
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:33,933
- [Gregor] Magic.
316
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:38,300
- I am gonna catch
this damned vandal.
317
00:15:40,167 --> 00:15:42,400
(ominous music)
318
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,167
- You can't catch him,
Banks, he's ectoplasm.
319
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,067
See, you've got it all wrong.
320
00:15:48,067 --> 00:15:51,200
He doesn't need to be caught,
he needs to be released.
321
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,300
For 70 years now, poor
old Burt's been stuck
322
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,933
between this world and the next,
323
00:15:56,933 --> 00:16:00,667
waiting to take his final bow.
324
00:16:00,667 --> 00:16:03,067
We can give him
that chance, Banks.
325
00:16:03,067 --> 00:16:05,367
We can help him to cross over.
326
00:16:05,367 --> 00:16:09,233
- I wanna help him get to
jail, Gregor, that's it.
327
00:16:09,233 --> 00:16:10,933
None of this stuffs any good.
328
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:12,567
- This cross could
come in handy.
329
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,700
- Oh, so he's a
vampire now, is he?
330
00:16:15,700 --> 00:16:16,900
- Not for tonight.
331
00:16:16,900 --> 00:16:18,400
(door creaking)
(footsteps clicking)
332
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:19,233
- Shh.
333
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:23,467
What, what are you doing?
334
00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:24,467
Where did you get that?
335
00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:25,700
- Shh.
336
00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:27,333
- You shush, we're not
killing him, don't.
337
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,933
- Shh.
- Shush.
338
00:16:28,933 --> 00:16:29,833
Don't, shh.
339
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:36,700
(Banks groaning)
340
00:16:37,867 --> 00:16:38,867
I'm a policeman.
341
00:16:38,867 --> 00:16:41,600
- And a night security man.
342
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:42,833
- Kath?
343
00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:43,667
- Banks.
344
00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:47,433
- Yah!
(ax thuds)
345
00:16:47,433 --> 00:16:48,867
- [Banks] Gregor!
346
00:16:55,300 --> 00:16:57,100
- [Kath] Put that
fizz down, Gregor.
347
00:16:58,433 --> 00:17:02,367
- So I just wanted to
apologize again about before.
348
00:17:02,367 --> 00:17:04,333
- Don't worry,
happens all the time.
349
00:17:04,333 --> 00:17:05,333
- Really?
350
00:17:05,333 --> 00:17:06,167
- No.
351
00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:09,133
(skin sizzling)
352
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:12,967
- So, Sarge has roped
you in, as well?
353
00:17:12,967 --> 00:17:15,300
- Yes, Neil has
roped everybody in.
354
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,800
He wanted me to play
the love interest,
355
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,833
but, I don't know, with
him playing the Phantom,
356
00:17:18,833 --> 00:17:22,400
it would have been weird after
what happened between us.
357
00:17:23,733 --> 00:17:27,100
- And are you gonna be
here for opening night?
358
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,067
- Unfortunately.
359
00:17:30,100 --> 00:17:33,333
- Well, maybe I'll
bump into you then.
360
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:34,667
- Like before?
361
00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:36,267
- Yep. (laughs)
362
00:17:36,267 --> 00:17:39,800
No, sorry again about
that, that's, sorry.
363
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:40,633
- Forget it.
364
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,400
But you, Gregor, you
gotta be a little bit
365
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:45,567
more careful with
that ax, young man.
366
00:17:45,567 --> 00:17:47,067
- That's not what Rhonda says.
367
00:17:48,333 --> 00:17:50,400
- Mmm, look out.
368
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:51,233
See ya.
369
00:17:52,267 --> 00:17:53,533
- See ya.
370
00:17:53,533 --> 00:17:55,500
- You know, she
likes you, Banks.
371
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:56,333
- You think?
372
00:17:57,533 --> 00:18:02,533
- Indeed, she would make
a marvelous Christine.
373
00:18:06,133 --> 00:18:06,967
- Who are you?
374
00:18:08,700 --> 00:18:09,500
- [Man] Ow!
375
00:18:11,900 --> 00:18:16,567
- Okay, I am gonna have to
ask you a few questions,
376
00:18:16,567 --> 00:18:19,067
and I'm afraid you
can't smoke in here.
377
00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:21,533
(man scoffs)
378
00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,400
So can you tell me
your name, please, sir?
379
00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:28,400
- Erik, the angel of music.
380
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:31,200
- Right, that's the
character's name, isn't it?
381
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,233
- He's using the method,
like all the great masters.
382
00:18:34,233 --> 00:18:37,467
Olivier, de Niro, Stamos.
383
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:41,733
- Well, Erik, can I ask why
384
00:18:41,733 --> 00:18:43,067
you've been breaking
all the sets?
385
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:46,400
- Because it's my show
and they're ruining it.
386
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:47,333
- Who's ruining it?
387
00:18:47,333 --> 00:18:50,800
- That other actor in my role.
388
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:52,600
He's changed the script.
389
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:57,600
Instead of a phantom torpedoing
a boatload of Jerries,
390
00:18:58,467 --> 00:19:02,300
he's harpooning a giant mouse.
391
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:04,800
- It's a squid, actually,
it's meant to symbolize-
392
00:19:04,800 --> 00:19:07,667
- What's that going
to do for morale?
393
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:11,500
There's bombs raining
down on Darwin.
394
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:13,500
There's midget
subs off the coast.
395
00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,400
The people are
afraid, goddammit,
396
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,767
they don't want a metaphor.
397
00:19:17,767 --> 00:19:22,767
They want to see the stage
soaked in fascist blood.
398
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:28,833
- Okay, all right,
okay, all right.
399
00:19:28,833 --> 00:19:30,567
(Erik gasping)
400
00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:34,100
That's okay, relaxing
breaths, okay.
401
00:19:34,100 --> 00:19:39,100
Shh.
402
00:19:46,433 --> 00:19:47,367
- What are you doing?
403
00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:48,567
- Phoning the Sarge.
404
00:19:48,567 --> 00:19:49,733
- It's a prop phone.
405
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,133
This guy has dementia
or something.
406
00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:57,867
- He's not demented, he's
just a ghost with gout
407
00:19:57,867 --> 00:19:59,333
who doesn't know he's dead.
408
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,667
- He's an old man with dementia.
409
00:20:01,667 --> 00:20:04,500
- He's a ghost who has
to finish his play,
410
00:20:04,500 --> 00:20:07,033
the one he started,
to cross over,
411
00:20:07,967 --> 00:20:09,467
and we can help him, Banks.
412
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:14,900
- Well, Gregor, we both know
that there's only one way
413
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:16,800
that you're gonna
get what you want.
414
00:20:18,900 --> 00:20:21,600
- Sign here, here, and here.
415
00:20:23,033 --> 00:20:26,433
- Right, and if I do sign this
confusing, ridiculous thing,
416
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,933
then I will get all of my
money back, the whole 300?
417
00:20:30,867 --> 00:20:35,133
- 276, Burt can be our witness.
418
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,633
(Burt humming)
419
00:20:41,633 --> 00:20:43,333
(bombs whistling)
420
00:20:43,333 --> 00:20:44,967
- [Banks] Can we get
on with this, please?
421
00:20:44,967 --> 00:20:47,767
(bombs exploding)
422
00:20:48,933 --> 00:20:50,067
- [Gregor] Break a leg.
423
00:20:54,167 --> 00:20:57,067
- Erik, Erik, where are you
going, the snow is falling.
424
00:20:57,067 --> 00:21:00,067
- I cannot stay, my
love, the enemy is near.
425
00:21:00,967 --> 00:21:04,067
The battle calls me back.
426
00:21:04,067 --> 00:21:05,567
- I will keep my
word, dear Erik,
427
00:21:05,567 --> 00:21:08,067
I will be your wife
when you return.
428
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:13,867
- Then may I lift
my mask a little
429
00:21:13,867 --> 00:21:17,867
and steal a kiss from my love?
430
00:21:17,867 --> 00:21:19,067
- What?
431
00:21:19,067 --> 00:21:20,800
We didn't say
anything about a kiss.
432
00:21:22,133 --> 00:21:26,200
- Then may I lift
my mask a little
433
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,233
and steal a farewell
kiss from my love?
434
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,500
I know that you
are repelled by me,
435
00:21:34,500 --> 00:21:38,467
but I shall be at sea
for the longest time,
436
00:21:38,467 --> 00:21:43,467
and all I ask is a kiss
from my sweetheart.
437
00:21:48,467 --> 00:21:49,433
Kiss me.
438
00:21:49,433 --> 00:21:50,500
- Wait, is that, is that a-
439
00:21:51,667 --> 00:21:54,133
- Yes, it's a cold sore,
first night nerves.
440
00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:59,100
- But, no, I'm not doing
this, he's got a cold sore.
441
00:22:00,333 --> 00:22:02,833
-- 2
-B, I told you
to read the swirls.
442
00:22:02,833 --> 00:22:04,333
- Kiss me.
443
00:22:04,333 --> 00:22:05,167
- Kiss him.
444
00:22:06,267 --> 00:22:09,200
(soft piano music)
445
00:22:20,933 --> 00:22:23,500
(music swells)
446
00:22:26,933 --> 00:22:28,200
- Goodbye, brave soldier.
447
00:22:29,567 --> 00:22:31,267
- Goodbye, sweet Christine.
448
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,333
Your love will
forever protect me.
449
00:22:44,067 --> 00:22:46,067
- How are you gonna
transfer the money?
450
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:52,200
- It is over, I've lived,
I've loved, there is no more.
451
00:23:00,667 --> 00:23:02,500
Thank you for believing.
452
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:10,900
- It's 9:00 a.m.,
razzle-dazzle time, Banks.
453
00:23:12,967 --> 00:23:16,400
Banksy, how's my
set coming along?
454
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:17,200
- Sarge?
455
00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,267
- What's my cape
doing on the ground?
456
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:24,300
- Where's he gone?
457
00:23:24,300 --> 00:23:26,067
- He's crossed over.
458
00:23:26,067 --> 00:23:27,067
- He's escaped.
459
00:23:27,933 --> 00:23:29,733
- Banks, what are you doing?
460
00:23:31,167 --> 00:23:33,433
No one's escaped, I want
some razzle-dazzle, okay?
461
00:23:33,433 --> 00:23:36,533
This is not an
amateur production,
Banks, razzle-dazzle.
462
00:23:37,533 --> 00:23:40,467
(soft piano music)
463
00:23:43,300 --> 00:23:44,367
I have lived.
464
00:23:46,567 --> 00:23:47,633
I have loved.
465
00:23:50,633 --> 00:23:53,433
There is no more.
466
00:24:03,567 --> 00:24:05,500
(audience applauding)
467
00:24:05,500 --> 00:24:07,367
- [Audience Member] Judas!
468
00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:11,067
- That was fucked, he should
have done "A Bug's Life."
469
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,433
- That was fucked, I should
have done "A Bug's Life."
470
00:24:19,733 --> 00:24:22,400
(both laughing)
471
00:24:24,533 --> 00:24:29,233
- So, anyway, Kath,
I was wondering
472
00:24:29,233 --> 00:24:32,233
whether you wanted to
grab a bite or something?
473
00:24:33,900 --> 00:24:36,433
- Are you asking
me out on a date?
474
00:24:36,433 --> 00:24:38,200
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
475
00:24:39,300 --> 00:24:42,800
just grabbing dinner,
nothing special.
476
00:24:44,067 --> 00:24:46,367
- Oh, well, if it's
just grabbing dinner
477
00:24:46,367 --> 00:24:49,900
and nothing special,
then I would love to.
478
00:24:52,133 --> 00:24:53,467
Anyway, I should
get back to the bar,
479
00:24:53,467 --> 00:24:55,900
everyone's gonna need a
drink after that shit.
480
00:24:55,900 --> 00:24:58,633
(both chuckling)
481
00:24:59,867 --> 00:25:03,767
- I really thought
she'd say no, honestly.
482
00:25:03,767 --> 00:25:08,533
- Really, well, I
filed a report on Burt,
483
00:25:08,533 --> 00:25:10,233
we haven't found him
yet, but we will.
484
00:25:10,233 --> 00:25:12,100
- Best of luck with that, Romeo,
485
00:25:12,100 --> 00:25:14,567
but Burt's taken his final bow.
486
00:25:15,900 --> 00:25:17,367
We won't be seeing him again.
487
00:25:17,367 --> 00:25:18,200
- [Burt] No more.
488
00:25:23,333 --> 00:25:28,200
- Gregor, you're being
ridiculous, it's scribble.
489
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,667
- It says, by law, if one person
490
00:25:31,667 --> 00:25:33,633
at the time of the
writing of the contract
491
00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:37,833
is disabled in any way,
the contract is void.
492
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:38,833
- You're not disabled.
493
00:25:38,833 --> 00:25:39,767
- I'm 90.
494
00:25:39,767 --> 00:25:42,133
- You're 47, I need that money.
495
00:25:42,133 --> 00:25:43,567
- No way.
496
00:25:43,567 --> 00:25:46,500
- Okay, well, I guess I'll
just go without food this week.
497
00:25:46,500 --> 00:25:50,467
And I suppose I'll have to just
cancel my dinner with Kath.
498
00:25:53,867 --> 00:25:56,767
- Now, look, you can't go
without dinner for a whole week.
499
00:25:58,067 --> 00:25:59,133
I'll pay half.
500
00:26:03,067 --> 00:26:06,700
- Wait, where are you
going, what are you doing?
501
00:26:09,867 --> 00:26:13,067
You keep a safe in my bedroom?
502
00:26:13,067 --> 00:26:14,867
- It's a place no one ever goes.
503
00:26:19,933 --> 00:26:23,100
Would you prefer to be paid
in blood diamonds or cash?
504
00:26:23,100 --> 00:26:24,067
- Diamonds.
505
00:26:24,067 --> 00:26:25,133
- Then cash it is.
506
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:30,067
Something for
dinner, there you go.
507
00:26:31,867 --> 00:26:36,267
Oh, and a little extra,
you know, for afterwards.
508
00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:42,133
(phone ringing)
509
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,567
- Hello, Coolum Beach Police,
Officer Banks speaking.
510
00:26:47,567 --> 00:26:49,700
- Hi, the costumes at
Michael's Costume Hire
511
00:26:49,700 --> 00:26:52,433
are fighting with each
other, Mickey and King Kong.
512
00:26:52,433 --> 00:26:53,433
(King Kong roaring)
(Mickey whimpering)
513
00:26:53,433 --> 00:26:55,067
He's killing him!
514
00:26:55,067 --> 00:27:00,100
♪ I've got feet that
won't leave this ground ♪
515
00:27:05,133 --> 00:27:08,467
- The killer was a gruesome
tabby named Napoleon.
516
00:27:08,467 --> 00:27:11,467
- And now this cat has
come back from the dead.
517
00:27:11,467 --> 00:27:13,167
- We can't have a
killer cat on the loose,
518
00:27:13,167 --> 00:27:14,533
not this close to
the Police Ball.
519
00:27:14,533 --> 00:27:15,733
- Where's the body?
520
00:27:15,733 --> 00:27:17,467
- Every victim
had a single slash
521
00:27:17,467 --> 00:27:19,267
across its chest
and a leg missing.
522
00:27:19,267 --> 00:27:20,600
- [Banks] They've
cut the phone line.
523
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,667
- [Gregor] It's been chewed.
524
00:27:22,667 --> 00:27:24,533
Things are gonna get cray-cray.
525
00:27:24,533 --> 00:27:26,900
(cat shrieking)
526
00:27:26,900 --> 00:27:31,067
♪ I'll walk from
this town alone. ♪
37434
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