All language subtitles for Southern Charm S06E07 Dick Moves and Dick Pics 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP5 1 H 264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- Previously on

- Previously on
"Southern Charm"...

- You know, being Italian-
American and having meatballs--

- Balls? What?
- [chuckles]

- While Kathryn played house
with her long-distance love,

her friendship with Danni
remained at a standstill.

- I'm not gonna be
anybody's doormat,

and I want an apology,
and that's that.

- ♪ Ba-ba-doo ♪

♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪

- Nico.
- Yes.

- Look who's here.

- And just as Naomie was

leaning into her new man,

the guys took Austen
on an RV trip

to get his mind off Madison.

- You've broken up?
- Yes.

- There's no poking.
- [laughs]

No backsliding as of yet.
- Oh, my God.

- ♪ You gotta hand it
to the man ♪

♪ He's making it look
so easy ♪

- But the trip quickly
turned from bros toasting

to a bad roasting.

- Come on, Craig.
Tend to your burgers.

- Whoa, that's a lot of salt!
- That's too much sodium.

I don't want high blood
pressure and cancer.

- Whitney, shut the (BLEEP) up.

- Why does he think
he knows how to cook?

- Because he's a doofus.
- Man, you guys, just stop.

- You push and push and push.

- We're here to bust
each others' chops.

That's what we do.

- (BLEEP) off.

- ♪ Ooh-ooh whoa ♪

♪ The kids go loco ♪

- ----ing asshats.

[gentle music]

♪ ♪

[electric toothbrush buzzing]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

- Hello?
[chuckles]

Get up, man.
Time's a-wasting.

Time to go to Nashville
and start all over again.

- [groans]

- [spits]

- Craig.
How you feeling, bud?

That good, huh?
- [chuckles]

- Beer for breakfast?
- Yeah, join me.

Have one of yours.

- Sure.
- That's right.

Well done.

- How are you, bud?
- Good.

- We drank and ate well
last night.

- Yeah, that wasn't fun.

- I know.
- What do you mean?

- I thought it was pretty cool.
- [laughs]

- You guys
pissed me off pretty bad.

- Yeah, it was
so easy last night.

- That's right.
[laughs]

- Gonna act like that
all night?

It's not acceptable.

- I'm kidding. I'm sorry.
I call a truce.

You guys like your eggs runny
or?

I'm gonna cook some eggs
if you want to help me.

- Oh, nice.

- I've seen this
dozens of times.

Shep says whatever the hell
that he wants, and the next day

he lays this act on you
to get your forgiveness.

- I like this tool.

It's like Austen.
It's a useful tool.

- Oh, you know,
last night we yelled,

but it's all good, right?
Right, Craigy?

- Pretty good.

- Craig is to take

all the glory for the eggs,
I think.

- What do we say, gentlemen,

clean this sh-- up
and hit the road?

- All right.

- Hey, guys.
- Hey, what's up, dude?

- How was your night?
- We survived.

- Where did you stay?
- The cabins down there.

So yeah, I'm gonna help you guys
get everything packed up.

- Thank you.
- All right, let's roll.

- Tallyho.
- We're off.

- How long to Nashville
do you think?

- About four hours.

- Four hours?
- Yeah.

- Four?
- Oh, my God.

- Oh, my gosh.
- Kick it up a notch.

Let's get there, Nate.
Goddamn.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Hi, friend.
- Hi.

- Is this what you want?

- Girl, I don't know,
but my mom,

ever since I was,
like, 25, has been saying,

"You know, you should think
about freezing your eggs."

- Oh, that's too much pressure.

But you're, like, 100%.
Like, you want a kid.

- I want a child, yeah.

- See, I don't even know
about that, so.

- I'm glad you came though.

- Yeah, I'm glad
to do this with you.

- I just wanted to be here with
somebody, like, a good friend.

And because of
Kathryn's eruption, like,

I haven't spoken to her
since the pillow party.

- Really?

- She hurt my feelings.
- Yeah.

- You know what I mean?
- That's the thing.

- And there hasn't been
an apology.

- You know, we all
do sh-- we regret,

say things we don't mean.

- I am not her doormat.
I'm just not.

I don't know.

[door creaks]
- Danni?

- Yes.
- Hey.

All right, come on back.

- There can be a side
to Kathryn

that you don't want to be
on the wrong end of.

- If you want to be
put in your place,

I'll put you in your
----ing place.

- But it just seems so petty
for them to

end a friendship over this.

[light music]

- I can't believe a baby
fits in that diagram.

- Where?
- In the triangle thing.

- Are you sure?
That's the uterus?

- Isn't that what grows?
- I don't think so.

I know nothing
about this stuff.

- Yeah, I don't either.

[knocking on door]
- Hi, how are you?

- Hi.
- I'm Dr. Crosby.

It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- So tell me what
you're here for today.

- I wanted to learn
a little bit more about

freezing eggs and
what goes into it.

- Sure.
I'm gonna grab a seat.

So with regards
to freezing eggs,

you have to have
hormone injections

that help stimulate
your ovaries

to produce a ton of eggs.

- How long do you have
to take the hormones?

- The hormone process is
anywhere from 10 to 14 days.

- You give yourself injections
for 10 to 14 days?

- Mm-hmm.
It's a hard process.

And then we do an egg retrieval

to get as many eggs
from you as possible.

- I mean, I know obviously
in your 20s you have a ton,

- Mm-hmm.
- But, like, I'm 34, like, I--

- So your egg count honestly
right this second

is not that different
than it was three years ago.

- Oh, good.

- It's the quality of the eggs

that starts to go down
the longer we wait.

- What's the price?

- Well, it's anywhere from
$10,000 to $15,000 per cycle.

- Oh, my God.

- And sometimes they don't get
enough eggs with one cycle,

and it takes more than one.

- And there's no guarantee?
- Mm-mm.

- [soft groan]
- I think you should do it.

- I mean, it's more involved
than what I thought.

- But people do it
all the time I guess.

- Yeah.

[lively bluegrass music]

- There she is.
There's Nashville, boys.

- Oh, man, the big city lights.

♪ ♪

- And here it is.
Here's our hotel.

- Hell yeah.
- Thank God.

- Thank you, sir.
- You're welcome.

- All right, let's go check in.
- Sudler-Smith.

- We have our penthouse suite
for you gentlemen.

- How are the showers?

- They're very nice.
- Thanks for your help.

- Enjoy.

- Good, perfect.

- Penthouse west.

- [chuckles]
- Penthouse.

- Lovely.
- Yeah.

- Holy sh--.
- This is unbelievable.

- Wow.

- Dude, look at this terrace.
- Wow.

We have to have
people back here.

- That's a guarantee.

If Austen can't get a girl back
to this amazing suite, then...

- Welcome.

- Austen, we have a problem.
[laughs]

[upbeat jazzy music]

- Sh--.

♪ ♪

- Ah.
[chuckles]

Shep.

♪ ♪

- What's up?

- [chuckles]
- What?

What are you laughing at?
What happened?

- I shaved.
- Oh. I didn't even realize it.

- What do you mean,
you didn't realize it?

[chuckles]

- It looks good.
Um.

- Hey.

- What--[laughs]
- See I didn't notice it either.

- I didn't notice it either.

No, it looks great.
Hey, man, when in Rome, right?

- Yeah, when in Rome. Yes.
- Absolutely.

So Madison
just sent me, like,

a pic of her looking
hot as (BLEEP),

you know, going out,
and I'm like,

"What's the purpose of that?"

- To (BLEEP) with your head.
She's not nice.

- I'd be like, congratulations.
- Yeah.

- "There are 500 girls

that are better looking
than you outside my door."

- It doesn't matter, Shep.

That's not the ----ing point.
To you it is.

I don't want to
think about that.

I just don't want
to think about it.

- Bro, she was doing that, like,

while she was dating you,
for (BLEEP)'s sake.

[dramatic music]

- Coming up...

- Kathryn told me that
they were hooking up.

- It's not even true.
We didn't hook up.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[elevator dings]
- Fourth floor.

- Right to the restaurant.

- Welcome.
- Good evening. How are you?

- Place looks nice.
- It does look nice.

- All right.
- [exhales]

- Do we just want to do--
do two bottles of red?

- Why don't you guys select
one, and we'll select one?

Actually, Stag's Leap
is pretty good, the cab.

- Really?
You're gonna go with that?

It's okay.
I know of Stag's Leap but--

- When did Craig
become an oenophile?

- I don't know.

- Hi, guys. May I get you
something to drink to start?

- We're gonna get
the Stag's Leap.

We're gonna split
that between us.

- Stag's Leap.
- They're gonna split something.

- Can we have the Bordeaux,
the French Bordeaux?

The Chateau de Rochemorin,
that last one.

- Yes.
- A sommelier over here.

- [laughs]

[playfully tense music]

- Oh, thank you.

- If you'd like to
taste the Stag's Leap.

- I'll taste. I have
the more sophisticated palate.

♪ ♪

That is excellent.
Thank you.

And it's better than their wine.

- You've got a few years on us

to spend an extra $80
on a bottle of wine.

- We've earned it.

- Damn right.
Elder statesmen.

- I don't know about
that earned thing.

- Craig, quit acting
so obstinate.

- Why are you
getting so agitated?

- Yeah.
- And you know what?

We can just order.
Dinner's on me.

whatever you guys want.

- I'll have the rib eye.
Medium, please.

- Sir, for you?
- Medium-rare rib eye.

- I'm gonna do the rib eye,
medium-rare.

- The filet mignon. Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

- Damn, listen to this.

Did you know that Kathryn
filed documents

seeking to obtain
full custody last week?

She didn't tell any of us
she was doing that.

- I know.

- It says that Ravenel then
filed a counterclaim.

Well, there are some reasons
for all those panic attacks

that have been happening.

- I just can't.

- I don't know, Whitney.
What do you think?

Did you--I mean, you hung out
with Kathryn this summer.

What was she like?
Was she acting like she is now,

or was she still, like,
bubbly and happy and fun?

- I don't know,
I don't really have an answer.

- Well, when you hung out
with her this summer

and hooked up or whatever.

- Why you keep repeating that?
- No-no-no, forget about that.

- Kathryn told me that
they were hooking up.

- It's not even true.
We didn't hook up.

- She told me the other day
that you guys did.

- [laughing]
- Dude.

- I didn't know that
was secret anymore.

- Whitney, just admit that
you banged Kathryn, you know.

- Be careful.

It's a nice hot plate.
- Thank you very much.

- Whatever happened,
that's none of your business.

- He shouldn't have hooked up
with her then.

- You can (BLEEP)
whatever you want.

- [laughing]
- Oh, my God.

Your brains work
differently than mine.

- You're goddamn right they do.
- They are so different.

- Look how angry he's getting.
He's getting ornery.

- No, you just don't
see stuff the way--

- I'm smart.

- I'll be right back
with some water, guys.

Cheers.

- You guys are sabotaging
the entire ----ing dinner.

- You started it.

- Oh, my God, really?
Okay.

- You want to go outside?
- Let's.

- Let me try this sh--.
How is it?

- It's pretty ----ing good.

- All right, we'll see you
in a little bit.

- He has no class,
not one scintilla.

- Zero.
- Yeah.

- He is on such a high horse.

I just needed
a change of scenery.

- Dude, I know, man.
I know. I know.

Look, we've been in
such close ----ing quarters

with Shep and his, you know,

"I am the smartest person
in the ----ing room."

- He's a douchebag.

- And everyone else is
----ing morons.

- No, he's mean.

They put other people down
to make themselves feel better,

and that's sad.

- Craig's so obnoxious.

- Well, he's developed the sense
of this, like, entitlement.

- But he has
a personal assistant,

and he doesn't have
anything going on.

- It's, like...
- I know.

- When him and Whitney
were like,

"We earned our expensive wine."

I was like,
"Uh, no, you--you didn't."

- Are you mad at Craig?
- No. I couldn't care less.

- He's just hard
to stay mad at.

You know what I mean?

- Come on. Let's go back in.
- All right.

- Oh, look who's back.

- I just needed a break.
- Clear your head?

- I think it's just
close quarters.

- Yeah. Well, we've been
quarantined together for--

- For a long, long time.

- I mean, we need
to get out there.

- So let's have a bit of fun.

Let's get the (BLEEP)
out of here.

- Thanks for dinner, Whit.

- Conover, I know we get
in each other's faces and sh--.

- Throw hot dogs
at each other's heads.

- Yeah, we did do that.
- Sure.

- [soft laugh]

[rousing jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[bell ringing]

- Yes, madam?

- Look what I got
in an antique shop.

A little French bonnet
for Chauncey.

Come on.
Oh, God, he weighs a ton.

So let's just see
if it fits him.

- All righty.
- Let's see.

'Cause you know
how he likes to dress up.

- It's not the right shape
for a pug.

- You know what, I don't
think this is gonna work.

[both chuckle]

Anyway, you know, I just bought
that fabulous dinner set.

- The artichokes.
- The artichoke.

So I'm thinking of changing
the whole guys dinner party--

bow that they're all in jail.

I think I have to change
my--my seating arrangement.

And when Madison was here,
I mentioned the idea to her.

Maybe we should get
all the girls together.

It might be kind of amusing.

In the past,
I've always had guys dinners.

- "Every exit is...

an entrance
to new experiences."

[soft laughter]

Why would that be
a new experience?

- Oh, my God.

- So I decided,
it's a MeToo movement.

I should get with the program.

I'm gonna have a girls dinner.

- What are you thinking of for
starters or the main courses?

- Well, l haven't
gotten that far,

but, you know,
there is always tomorrow.

- I think Scarlett said
something about that.

- I think she did too.

[both laugh]

[upbeat country music]

♪ ♪

- Thank you, sir.
- Thank you.

♪ ♪

[cheering]

- Can I have
a double Redbull vodka?

- Tito's on the rocks
with lots of soda, please.

- Where is Shep and Austen?

- Hey.
- Having fun?

- Yeah.
- Nicki.

- Nicki.
- Hiya. Austen.

- Cory.
- Cory. Austen.

Girls, cheers.

- Bottoms up.

[all cheer]

- You want to do shots?

- I'm too old to do shots.

- Whitney, tell them about
my balcony at the Fairlane.

- Oh, yeah, his balcony
is incredible.

- So like I said,
we have a penthouse.

- [laughs]

- I'm serious.

Y'all have got to come.
It is insanity.

- How's it going?

- What's up?

Hey, we got this great, uh,
presidential suite.

We should all party there.
- That is what I just told her.

- Yeah.
The room I have is very rad.

- Yeah, y'all should go.

- What's your best score ever?

- Where do you want to play?
- [laughs]

- Hey, I think that
Craig's looking for you.

- Austen has a vicious slice.

- What's your hook?

How do you hook people?

- I'm gonna vomit.
Craig.

Hey, ladies, if you want to get

Shep's attention,
just start talking to me.

- My friends are like,
"You just broke up

with your girlfriend.
Let's get you back out there."

- Yeah?
- I mean, where are they?

- And they're like...
- They're over there.

They're over there.
- They're around

a bunch of girls, yeah.

- They don't give a (BLEEP).

- You got to keep blowing
until it says stop.

Oh, thank God.

- I definitely miss Madison.

I got this one person in my head
that I can't get out, you know?

Am I helpless,
or am I hopeless?

- All right, well,
this has been fun.

[soft dramatic music]

- Her and I just--
just have a connection.

- No, that's kind of the whole
purpose of this trip.

God, I try to ignore it,

and it's just still there,
and it's glaring.

I really, really, really
liked her.

And, you know, I definitely,

you know,
I told her, like, I loved her.

Dude, it is okay, to like,
admit that you love someone.

You know, like, my boys make me
feel like such an idiot

for--for saying that,
like, I love someone.

- Coming up...

- Danni coming at me

in front of all the girls
was unfair to me.

- I think she's
just protective of you.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Hey.

- Oh.
- Going back to Charleston.

- Wait. What time is
this flight of ours?

- 10:40.
- (BLEEP).

Dude, what happened last night?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [exhales]

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Cumin.

- Hi, babe.
- Hi.

Hi.
- What is it?

- Butter chicken.

Isn't this your favorite thing?
- It is.

- No guarantee it's gonna be as
good as when your mom makes it.

This recipe, I just got it
off Amazon so, you know.

- Should I just call my mom?
- Wait, wait. Why?

- You know, it just
looks really complicated.

- Oh, no , no, no, it's not.

My mom cooked growing up.
My dad cooked too.

So I can cook basic things
that I eat,

but Indian food is
a whole other animal.

[inhales] Okay.

[coughs]
Ooh!

But Metul definitely makes me

want to learn
how to cook Indian food

'cause it's a way to show love.

What do I do next?

- You probably only read

the ingredient part, didn't you?

Step one, combine

marinade with chicken in a bowl.
Cover--

- That's the marinade
that I just made.

- Right.

Cover and refrigerate
overnight.

[both laugh]

- Sh--.
- Should I order sushi?

- No, please let me do this.

Wait, that's--
I think that looks good.

Is that what it looks like
when your mom makes it?

- Um, so... sushi?
[laughs]

- I mean, Metul's
one of the best things

that has ever happened to me,
and I know it.

I need cream.
Can I just use coffee creamer?

- Pretty gross.
- Half and half.

That's not gross.

So the pressure
not to mess this up

is, like,
as high as pressure can be.

- Okay, that looks good.
That looks, like, normal.

- Really?
- Yeah.

That's how it should look.
I mean, that just is a thing.

- I mean, I'm pretty sure
Metul's the one.

I don't know if he would say
it back about me,

but I'm positive.

Yeah, I can do this.
- Yeah, it looks good.

This is more impressive
than anything I've ever done.

I've never made it
from scratch.

- So sweet.
I love you.

I'm blushing now.

Every time you bring him up,
I get hot.

[exhales]

[playful music]

♪ ♪

It's, like, missing something.

- I think it's missing
an Indian person

that's good at cooking.

So sushi?
- [laughs]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hello?
Are you upstairs or downstairs?

- Upstairs.
- Upstairs.

Girl.
- What's up?

- Gucci mama looking good.
- [soft laugh]

- We should just
get to business.

- All right, girl.

- So, [clears throat]
last time

I saw you or we hung out
was at Craig's,

and I feel like, you know,

that night when
Danni and I were talking,

you thought we were saying
something about you.

- What's up?

- Hey.
- What are y'all talking about?

- We were talking
about our trip.

- Got it.
- Do you--don't.

- Brick-brick-brick-brick.
- Wait, I want to ask you.

- I'm good.

But, you know,
that wasn't on you.

It was Danni with the girls trip
that bothered me.

Coming at me in front of
all the girls was unfair to me.

- You've changed
in the last month.

I know your pattern
of behavior,

and I know when you start to,
like, avoid, avoid, avoid.

But you haven't been
held accountable

for just, like, day-to-day.

- She had never said
those things to me,

and, um, that's...
disappointing.

- I think she's just
protective of you.

- But she and I could've

talked about that
together, one-on-one.,

- But it's not--I mean, y'all
are so close for so many years.

I mean, it's bound that
something's gonna come up.

I mean, I feel like it's hard
these days to find

people that
you feel like you can trust.

[soft dramatic music]

- The thing I regret most
about that night is

not having brought up the way
that I felt to Danni sooner.

Danni and I are much
better friends than this.

She's seen me since
I was the crazy Kathryn.

I'm not going to have
a conversation

with people who have zero class.

- Sleeping with three people
at this table

in the course of
three weeks isn't class.

- The pregnant Kathryn...

All that matters is,
I have a little Thomas,

and he's gonna be way cooler.

The Thomas-and-Kathryn Kathryn.

Stop!
- Get away from me.

We're done, we're done.
- No, stop!

She has still been by my side,
not judging me.

We've been best friends
for six years.

- Yeah.
- You know.

She means so much to me in my
life,

and I have lost
a lot of that.

♪ ♪

- Coming up...

- Oh.
- [soft laugh]

- His penis looks
like a Ken doll.

- Eww. Oh, it's a selfie
he took of himself?

- Oh, my goodness.
- Yes.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Chelsea, Naomie, Madison.

All right, let me think.

Okay, so then put Kathryn here.

Okay, Michael and Connie,

can you
come here just for a second?

- Yes, ma'am?

- So the theme
is the artichoke dinner,

which I'm sure you gathered
from all of this.

So we'll start with
fresh artichoke,

and we've got the dip,
so after that will be the pasta

and then poached pear.
All right.

Well, I'm gonna go in
and await the guests.

- They should be here
momentarily.

- Thank you.

♪ ♪

[knocking on door]

- Are you waiting out there
in the cold?

- I am.
- Don't you look gorgeous.

- So do you.
- Hi, honey.

- Bourbon sour.
- Thank you.

- Certainly.
[doorbell chimes]

Good evening.
- Hi.

- May I take your coat?
- Thank you. Hi.

- Hey, honey.
- Good to see you.

You look beautiful.
Oh, it smells so good in here.

- Come sit down.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- How you been?

- Good.
How's it been going?

- I want to hear all about
the new boyfriend.

- Oh, Metul?

- Is that Turkish?
- Indian.

- You know, the most beautiful
people I have ever seen

of any nationality are Indian.

- Mm-hmm.

- Hi.

- There she is.
- Hi, girls.

- Come on in.
Sit down.

What can we get you to drink?

- Do you have any white wine?
- You can have anything.

- Thank you.
How is everybody else doing?

- Good.
- Good.

- Mm-hmm, just working.

- Oh, it's so warm in here!
- Hey.

- Hi. How are you?
- Hey, darling.

- You look beautiful.
- Well, so do you.

- Thank you.
Hi, everyone.

- What can I bring you
to drink, ma'am?

- What's everyone else having?
- This is fun.

- That's a bourbon sour
- I'll have it then.

I love Southern things.

- At Crag's,
you and Austen were

outside on the porch
for two hours.

- I mean, she--you know that
I told him

about the texts.
- Yeah.

- Are these the things
that he sent you?

- I mean, it all stemmed from,
you know, whatever--

Danni, you had something to say
about my transgressions.

- Me?
- Yeah, you.

I think it all stemmed down to

you saying whatever
you said to Craig.

- I feel like there are
laser beams

going through my head right now
between Danni and Madison.

And I want to hide, 'cause
Madison does not (BLEEP) around.

- Not to jump into other
people's business,

which I never do...
[soft laughter]

Was this the client of yours

that tried
to fix you up with somebody?

- Mm-hmm.
Yeah, it was the guy I'm dating,

and he told me,
and I told Craig,

which was the dumbest thing
you could possibly do.

- [laughs]

- Madison had her friend
DM Gentry

with, like, a picture of her
and was like...

- What?
- "She thinks you're hot.

Do you want to hook up?"

- Come on, I don't think
Craig is the one to blame.

It should've really
never been a conversation.

- But it's not like
I made it--made it up.

- It was just, like,
fuel in the fire.

- I knew better
than to tell Craig anything,

and I'm sorry that it hurt you.

- Yeah.
- Yes.

all: Hey.
- Hey, Cam.

- Hey, little mama.

- I haven't worn heels
in a long time.

- Me either, I was--
- Y'all don't get up.

Don't get up,
don't get up, don't get up.

Who are we missing?
- Kathryn.

- Kathryn.
- Kathryn. Is she coming?

- Yeah.
- Oh, good.

Whatever happened
with you and Kathryn?

Did y'all make up?
Are y'all good?

- We haven't really talked
about it yet.

- Really?

- I had heard she had
a boyfriend.

- Politician.
Senator from Florida.

- No, not a politician.
- Mm-hmm.

- Oh, no. Oh, dear.
- Yeah.

I mean, I'll
just go ahead and say it.

I Googled him, and some,
like, wild things come up,

like almost naked photos of him
on the internet.

- Let me get my big iPad here.
[laughter]

- Does she know all this stuff?
- What's it say?

- She must.
I mean, y'all, Google it.

It's crazy.
- Oh.

His penis
looks like a Ken doll.

Like, just--it's like a bulge.
Look at that.

It's like a mangina.
- [laughs]

- Don't you see?
- Eww!

Oh, it's a selfie
he took of himself?

- Yes.

- Give it back.
- Eww.

[laughter]

- Hand it over.

- She is gonna walk in,
and Pat's gonna be

looking at a picture
of her boyfriend's pecker.

- She would not be happy.
- Oh, my goodness.

[doorbell chimes]

- Coming up...

- What if Whitney and Kathryn
get married?

[laughter]

- I mean, I would be assured
of having a grandchild.

[upbeat jazzy music]

[doorbell chimes]

- Good evening.
- Hello.

- We always save
the best for last.

- Thank you.
- You look lovely as always.

- Hey there.
- Hi.

- Ooh, I hope this is
from Gwynn's.

- It is.
- Thank you. Hey, darling.

- How are you?
- You look gorgeous.

- Thank you.
- I love red. Come on in.

- Hey, guys.
- Hi.

- Hi. Good to see you.
- Good to see you too.

- Kathryn, come sit here.

We'll just scrunch
in over here.

- You look awesome.
- So you have a new beau.

- Oh, yeah.
[sighs] Oh, boy...

- Hmm?

- He and I have
apparently broken up.

- What?
- What happened with him?

- He's not what
I thought he was.

- That's tough.
- But whatever.

- [sighs]
- I don't know.

But it's fine.
Like, I'm over it now.

I just--being on the outside,
though, now I'm like,

"I understand where you guys
were coming from."

[tense electronic music]

I get it now.

♪ ♪

Um...

Do you want to go talk in here?
- Yeah.

We're gonna go chat for a sec.
We'll be right back.

- Oh, okay.
- Go talk.

- Excuse us.

- Well.

- Good Lord.

How have you been?
- [yawns]

Emotionally, just exhausted.
- Same.

- I'm sorry to hear
about your guy.

- Don't be.

I'm sorry
I didn't listen at first.

But I've had time to, like,
look and think and reflect.

And when I realize, like,
you raised some red flags,

and been like,
what is happening here?

- When I told you my concerns
on the--our trip,

I really thought, like,

you believed I was
coming from a good place.

But when we got back
a couple days later,

your tone had changed with me.

At Craig's party,

what you said to me
that night was, like, shocking.

- I have been a great
----ing friend to you too.

So (BLEEP) off right now.
I'm not even talking.

- Kathryn, you're a ----ing
joke right now. Sorry.

Why would you go there?

You can't go there
all the time.

- I know.

I'm working on it, trust me,
but--

- Because that really hurt.

[dramatic music]

- I think on our trip,

you brought up a few things
that felt like it was, like,

baggage being put on the table,
and I just snapped.

I'm used to just people
talking sh-- about me

or thinking I'm wrong,
thinking all of this bullsh--

because I was with someone
who made me act--

not made me--I--I--
I did act crazy or whatever,

and also I went to rehab

and lost my kids
for three years.

But Danni shouldn't have been
the target of that.

- There was no ill intent
behind it.

- I don't think there was.

I get it now.

And I'm sorry.
You know I love you.

- I know you do.

- I feel like we broke up.

- I never felt like we
broke up,

but I felt like you were, like,

flirting with another guy
on Instagram or something.

- [soft laugh]

[bell clangs]
- Dinner is served, madam.

- Oh, God, I hope she doesn't
think I'm, like, starting drama.

[elegant string music]

♪ ♪

- Madison, you're here.
Kathryn, you're over here.

- Look at these plates.
- Beautiful.

- These napkins were owned
by the King of Bavaria.

- They're huge.
- Yeah, they're huge.

The theme is carried out in the
food as well as the porcelain.

- Oh, it's so pretty.
- Oh, wow.

- Patricia is
kind of what everyone

aspires, in a weird way,
to be.

And I'm gonna be humble
AF right now.

I want to impress her.

- You can use your hands,
and you dip it into this.

- What's the dipping sauce,
mayonnaise?

- Aioli.
- Mmm.

- Scrape the bottom
of your teeth, like--

- Just the end.

- I think you're going up
too high.

Just the tippy-top.
[laughs]

- Okay.
- There's more food coming.

This is not it.

[laughter]

It's funny, when I do the guys
dinner, they're raucous,

but all of you all are
so kind of reserved.

- It's 'cause we're sober.
Let's do shots.

- Okay.

- Tequila.
- Tequila?

- That's a bad idea.

- Somebody offered me
a Jell-O shot.

- No, that is low class.
- Mm-mm.

- Those are my favorite.
- [laughs]

- Oh, yeah, baby.
Let's get this party started.

- What do you do with the lime?
- You suck it.

- Stop.
- Really?

- Trust me,
you're gonna want it.

- Here we go.
- Hit the table.

or it's bad luck--
hit the table first.

- Oh, Lord Jesus.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [soft cough]

Quite frankly,
I had always wondered

about what
taking a shot was like.

Oh.

I prefer a martini.

- To great men.
I found me one.

- I'm kind of, like, single.

- Wait, are
you and Austen done?

- We're apart.

- Austen's not ready to be,
like, a man.

Like, you need a man.

- I mean, in a sad way, I do--

he has this influence of,
like, Shep's lifestyle and...

- And he's so easily
manipulated into that, you know.

- That's a Southern men thing,
I feel like.

- Yeah,
I think it's Southern too.

I mean, Southern men
don't grow up.

And I'm not
including Whitney in this

because he's always worked.

♪ ♪

- I don't have
an option to not work.

- Yeah, me either.
- Well, I mean, it's just, like,

for Shep calling me, like,
a white trash hairstylist.

- He called you that?
- Yeah.

- Whoa, what?

He's never worked a day
in his life.

And if you don't work,
you don't get to

call anyone anything
about their job.

So Shep can shut up.

- I don't think he genuinely
thinks that of you.

When I think of Shep,
I think about somebody

who is suppressing
a lot of anger.

Like, there is something
underlying

that Shep is very angry about.

- I don't know
if he's still bitter from

me declining him when I was
married,

and I wasn't interested.

But other than that--
- [laughing]

- That was amazing.
- What is this, Patricia?

- Finger bowl.
- This is, like, so extra.

- There's a hand-blown
Czechoslovakian rose petal

on the bottom.
- Oh, my gosh.

- Oh, my God.

- Miss Pat,
you are something else.

- If Whitney never marries,

will you divide all
this stuff up between us?

- What if Whitney and Kathryn
get married?

[soft laughter]

- Well, you know,
I heard rumors to that effect.

- Oh, boy.
- I wouldn't be unhappy.

I mean, I would be assured
of having a grandchild.

[laughter]

- What is happening?

- Coming up.

- I was with her last night.

- How do you expect to
get over Madison

if you guys hang out?
- Craig.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, how are you?
- Good.

So I'm getting a dog
in three days.

- Do you have a name?
- Yes.

Craig.
It's a human name.

- Okay.
- Here, I'll show him to you.

- Oh, my goodness.

- It's an homage
and sort of a jab at Craig.

Because I already own
one Craig,

and so now I can own two.
[laughs]

So I need some supplies.

- What do you think
Craig's gonna be into?

- Tacos. Bananas.

- Yeah. Is he bananas?
- He is kind of bananas.

Oh, a little formal wear.

- Is he gonna go to any gala?
- He might if he meets someone.

To me, it seems like Craig
the puppy might be

just like Craig the human.

Craig sleeps a lot.

- Something like this.

- He gets excited easily.

[toy squeaks]
Yes, let's get the purple one.

I'm very comfortable
in my dog sexuality.

- Okay.

So you got your taco leash
and your banana collar,

your poop bags,
your bed, treats...

- Okay.
- Toys.

$477.53.
- [soft chuckle]

- All right.
- Thanks.

I think that dogs can
make people better people.

- Yeah, of course.
- You know what I mean?

Now two Craigs cost me money.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- Hey, buddy.

- What's up?
- Craig. How are you?

- Good. How are you?

- Dude, where's your jacket?
It's freezing outside.

- It is. I left it in my car.

What's that?
- A peanut butter passion cake.

- That looks amazing.

I'm gonna get something.
Are you guys good?

- Yes.
- Thank you.

- What's up, man?
Can I get a hot toddy?

- Sure.
- Perfect.

- Cheers.

- So tell me about the trip.
How was it?

- Camping was--it didn't
really work out that well.

- [laughing]
- Oh!

- Oh!
Oh, Craig...

- I'll break your
----ing glasses.

- Be nice.
- Get a grip, bro.

- Then at the dinner
in Nashville,

Whitney shut the (BLEEP) up
real quick,

uh, when you got brought up.

- [clears throat] You know, just
a curious question from Craig.

"How was, you know,
Kathryn this summer

when you were hanging out
with her, Whitney?"

And he was just like, "I don't
know what you're talking about.

I don't know
what you're talking about."

I was like, dude, no one--
I don't care, I was just--

- Yeah.

- Well, that's
a weird thing for him

to, like, deny, hanging out.

- That's what I'm, like,
most pissed about.

- Like, who ----ing cares?

- I don't know.
I'm tired of, like,

being insecure
about the situation, you know.

It's just frustrating.

Everyone pretty much knows
that it happened,

so the fact that
he's continuing to deny it

makes it more of a conversation.

- Then Shep gets mad.
- Shep got very ornery.

He just kind of chimed in
with this whole

"I'm smarter than everyone
in the goddamn room" bit.

- Yeah, he started that.

He's starting to turn into
a huge ----ing asshole again.

- He's, like, kind of
two-faced a little bit.

- Yeah.
- Especially for him to

flip out on me like that.
I've never--

- He flipped.

- That's ----ed up.

Tell me that Danni hasn't
been a good friend to her.

- Okay.
- She's a ----ing child, man.

- Don't talk to me like that.
Bye.

- Like, what the (BLEEP)?

- And then the next morning,
we talked about it,

and he was totally normal,
so it's, like, a huge--

- And when that side
comes out, man,

you know, run for the hills.

I mean, he exploded on me
about Madison.

He was like, she is
a white trash hairdresser

his mother wouldn't even let
inside the ----ing house.

- Jesus Christ.
He said that to you?

- Yeah.
You know, he just went off.

It's 'cause everyone
is just less than.

- Yeah.

Madison talked about it

at Patricia's dinner party
with, like, all of us.

- Man.

- Have y'all hung out?

- Um, I was with her last night.

We just kind of hung out,

and it was fun,
and I had a good time.

You know, this trip,
it was just, like,

the biggest cluster-(BLEEP)
of all time,

and then when I get back,
you know, I'm like,

"All I want to do is hang out
with her right now."

- So you guys aren't broken up?

- No, I didn't say that
we weren't broken up.

- People that are broken up
don't hang out.

- Madison and I have broken up.
- Stop saying you're broken up,

because then you just said
you hung out last night.

Broken up is this side
of the spectrum.

It's like Naomie and I.
It's not that complicated.

- It's not that complicated.

I don't know why you're
making it so complicated.

- I'm not.
You are making it complicated

by saying that you're broken up

and then hanging out
with a girl.

How do you expect to get over
Madison if you guys hang out?

- Craig,
stop talking about this.

- Austen and Madison's
relationship

makes zero sense to me.

- The whole cold turkey thing

just doesn't work
for some people.

- Austen's a ----ing pussy,

and, like, I don't know
what else to say.

What else would there be
for me to say if you

both say you're broken up,
and then you guys hang out?

- Craig, what do you
want me to say?

I miss her for damn sure,
and I'm very disappointed

that I let you, Danni,
and Shep get in my head.

And it blew up into this whole
thing that totally, totally

----ed everything up, Craig.

That was horsesh--.

[dramatic music]

- On the next episode
of "Southern Charm"...

- I think he's nervous.

I can feel
his little heart beating.

- Sit down and bond.
Here, Craig, go to your father.

- Hypnosis is
a naturally-occurring state.

As adults, we go in and out
of hypnotic states

about seven to eight times,
on average, a day.

Yeah.

- I do think you should
surround yourself with

people that aren't dragging you
out to the bars.

- You know, you're right.

- Oysters.

- Well, 35th birthday, Cam.
- Uh-oh.

- Hey, puppy dogs.
- Did you get me a cake?

- It says halfway to 70.
- You bitch.

- Cam, do a shot with me.

- Okay, I'll do this little,
bitty, tiny one.

[dance music]

- Cameran, what are you doing
with that thing?

- Ah!

- You need to hide your crazy!

- You left the bar because your
ex-girlfriend told you to go.

- No, that's not why.

I'd had a conversation with her.
- You said it out loud!

"Chelsea told me
I had to be home by 11:00."

- No, I had a conversation
with her and I was--

- You are ----ing
losing your goddamn mind.

- For more "Southern Charm,"
go to bravotv.com.