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00:00:05,003 --> 00:00:07,002
♪ ("WITHOUT YOU"
BY PERFUME GENIUS PLAYING) ♪
2
00:00:09,023 --> 00:00:12,011
Morning, followers.
Gossip Girl here.
3
00:00:12,013 --> 00:00:15,013
Márquez once said,
"We all have three lives.
4
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,001
-A public life,
a private life..."
-You have any fun, at least?
5
00:00:17,003 --> 00:00:19,012
-Of course. Always.
-"...and a secret life."
6
00:00:19,014 --> 00:00:21,014
I'm off to Berlin.
I'll be back tomorrow.
7
00:00:21,016 --> 00:00:24,012
But he left out
the most important one.
-Love you, Dad.
8
00:00:24,014 --> 00:00:26,011
Our dating life.
9
00:00:27,006 --> 00:00:28,020
♪ It's a blurry shape...♪
10
00:00:28,022 --> 00:00:31,012
And ever since JC
got ditched by Noble O
11
00:00:31,014 --> 00:00:35,005
for a little Z, she's been
on an international manhunt
12
00:00:35,007 --> 00:00:37,002
for a worthy replacement.
13
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:38,011
She's gone truffle hunting
14
00:00:38,013 --> 00:00:39,012
with the Italian
prime minister's son...
15
00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:45,015
The truffle is a passion,
and you need passion
to hunt them.
16
00:00:45,017 --> 00:00:47,010
But this dress is a sample.
17
00:00:47,012 --> 00:00:50,016
...yachting
with the last Shah of Iran's
grandson...
18
00:00:50,018 --> 00:00:52,023
Might I invite you to steam
in my huge hammam?
19
00:00:57,006 --> 00:00:58,022
She even
shared a green juice
20
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,003
with the Bonus Jonas.
21
00:01:00,005 --> 00:01:01,023
All he could talk about
was how PC told him
22
00:01:02,001 --> 00:01:04,008
he was cuter than Joe
and Kevin combined.
23
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,009
Spies tell us nary a one
24
00:01:06,011 --> 00:01:08,006
wanted a second bite
at her apple.
25
00:01:08,017 --> 00:01:09,019
What?
26
00:01:09,021 --> 00:01:13,012
Perhaps this
will provide a temporary balm?
27
00:01:13,014 --> 00:01:16,014
Little Z may occupy
JC's former residence
28
00:01:16,016 --> 00:01:18,011
on the arm of the prince
of New York,
29
00:01:18,013 --> 00:01:21,017
but she's definitely not
to the manor born.
30
00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:24,002
Hope the prince
doesn't lose interest,
31
00:01:24,004 --> 00:01:27,007
or Little Z may
find herself Lonely Z.
32
00:01:27,009 --> 00:01:29,007
Maybe they're sisters after all.
33
00:01:29,009 --> 00:01:33,003
The throne is waiting,
but it won't sit empty for long.
34
00:01:35,016 --> 00:01:36,013
Quelledisaster.
35
00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:38,023
Even Timothée
rescinded his invite to MIPCOM
36
00:01:39,001 --> 00:01:40,000
after seeing these!
37
00:01:40,002 --> 00:01:41,014
You need to stop
being so choosey.
38
00:01:41,016 --> 00:01:44,016
Everyone knows the only way
to get over an heir
is to get under another one.
39
00:01:44,018 --> 00:01:48,012
I tried. I guess heirs
just aren't as giving
as I'm used to.
40
00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:49,017
I didn't like any of them.
41
00:01:49,019 --> 00:01:52,001
You don't have to like them,
you just have to date them.
42
00:01:52,003 --> 00:01:53,017
Jules, I hate to say this
to you,
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00:01:53,019 --> 00:01:54,020
because fuck the patriarchy,
right?
44
00:01:54,022 --> 00:01:56,014
But, um, the men
always win this.
45
00:01:56,016 --> 00:01:57,016
Brad Pitt is ancient,
46
00:01:57,018 --> 00:02:00,012
yet he wins an Oscar
for showing his desiccated abs,
47
00:02:00,014 --> 00:02:02,023
while a still-prime Angelina
disappears a Disney witch.
48
00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:05,004
Maybe it doesn't have
to be about a man?
49
00:02:05,006 --> 00:02:08,005
Millie Bobby Brown
isn't defined by who she dates.
50
00:02:08,007 --> 00:02:10,017
Millie Bobby Brown
is pre-sexual.
51
00:02:10,019 --> 00:02:12,022
You need a new Brad
or it's Havisham for you.
52
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,007
-Also, fuck the patriarchy.
Jules.
53
00:02:15,009 --> 00:02:16,003
-Do you have to pee?
-No.
54
00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:19,002
Oh, me too. Thank you.
Bye.
55
00:02:21,003 --> 00:02:22,005
So, if I tell you something,
56
00:02:22,007 --> 00:02:25,005
do you swear on your Loewe
not to tell anyone?
57
00:02:25,007 --> 00:02:27,004
-Did you kill someone?
-Worse.
58
00:02:27,006 --> 00:02:27,022
I may have slept with Max.
59
00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,022
-May have or did?
-I did! I did!
60
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,023
I slept with Max!
I slept with Max many times.
61
00:02:33,001 --> 00:02:34,022
What? Why?
62
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,006
When? Basically all
of the interrogatives.
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00:02:37,008 --> 00:02:39,005
You've known him
for a decade. Why now?
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00:02:39,007 --> 00:02:42,016
I don't know what happened.
Kiki drama? Sexual ennui?
65
00:02:42,018 --> 00:02:45,018
My apparently latent
self-destructive tendencies?
66
00:02:45,020 --> 00:02:50,018
It was one night. One long,
surprisingly informative night,
67
00:02:51,009 --> 00:02:52,023
like, Jules...
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00:02:53,001 --> 00:02:55,018
-Are you gonna tell Aki?
-I mean, I feel terrible,
69
00:02:55,020 --> 00:02:57,004
but it had nothing to do
with him. I love him.
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00:02:58,013 --> 00:03:02,014
Until I can give him a reason
for these anomalous actions,
71
00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:04,016
why cause him pain
with the truth?
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00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,016
Consider my friend-DA signed.
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00:03:06,018 --> 00:03:08,015
I just hope Gossip Girl
doesn't find out.
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00:03:08,017 --> 00:03:10,002
You're right.
Now that she's verified,
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00:03:10,004 --> 00:03:12,015
if she posts it,
people might believe it's true.
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00:03:12,017 --> 00:03:13,014
It is true.
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00:03:13,016 --> 00:03:16,021
I know! I'm a bad person!
I'm a bad person!
78
00:03:17,012 --> 00:03:18,004
I'm a terrible person.
79
00:03:18,006 --> 00:03:20,002
Why, because you wiped out
at LES?
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00:03:20,004 --> 00:03:22,021
No, but I deserve to.
I'm a terrible person.
81
00:03:22,023 --> 00:03:25,022
You are like the last person
to be classified as terrible.
82
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,006
-What if I told you
I cheated on Audrey?
-I wouldn't believe you.
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00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:30,007
What if I told you I may have
made out with someone
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00:03:30,009 --> 00:03:31,007
other than Audrey?
85
00:03:31,009 --> 00:03:33,006
-You may have or you did?
-I did!
86
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,008
I made out with someone.
87
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:38,016
Okay, um...
Was it a one-time thing,
88
00:03:38,018 --> 00:03:42,000
-or this was a recurring--
-Yes. Never again. Just once.
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00:03:42,002 --> 00:03:43,001
Okay then, who cares?
90
00:03:43,003 --> 00:03:44,023
I mean, you still want
to be with Audrey, right?
91
00:03:45,001 --> 00:03:46,015
Of course. I love her.
92
00:03:46,017 --> 00:03:47,023
This had nothing to do with her.
93
00:03:48,001 --> 00:03:49,006
Okay, then why cause her
the stress and embarrassment
of your fuck-up?
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00:03:50,018 --> 00:03:52,009
You know what I mean?
95
00:03:52,011 --> 00:03:55,003
Look, if it was a mistake,
just learn from it and move on.
96
00:03:55,005 --> 00:03:56,019
And make sure that
whoever she is...
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00:03:56,021 --> 00:03:59,002
does not kiss and tell.
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00:03:59,004 --> 00:04:02,006
-♪
99
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,008
-That wasn't awkward.
-Shh!
100
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:23,022
-Gossip Girl could be listening!
-Yeah, she's everywhere.
101
00:04:25,016 --> 00:04:27,001
-Hey. Something's up.
-I know. It's working.
102
00:04:27,003 --> 00:04:29,006
No. Something else.
Check your e-mail.
103
00:04:29,008 --> 00:04:31,004
Burton called a mandatory
meeting after school.
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00:04:31,006 --> 00:04:34,008
I'm sure it's unrelated.
-I'm not.
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00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,016
♪ ("SAME DAMN LUCK"
BY NILÜFER YANYA PLAYING) ♪
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00:04:36,018 --> 00:04:38,010
Oh, my God.
There she is.
107
00:04:38,012 --> 00:04:40,017
She knows?
Taylor, did you see this?
108
00:04:43,012 --> 00:04:45,020
I don't know, I gotta
go for Pizza Rat.
109
00:04:45,022 --> 00:04:48,008
♪ News, all bad news lately... ♪
110
00:04:48,010 --> 00:04:52,007
"Who wore it better?
Pizza Face or Pizza Rat?"
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00:04:52,009 --> 00:04:53,016
Just forget about it, all right?
112
00:04:53,018 --> 00:04:55,009
By the time you refresh,
it'll be gone.
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00:04:55,011 --> 00:04:57,012
Wow, you're right.
And now it's a poll.
114
00:04:57,014 --> 00:04:59,011
♪ They all knew... ♪
115
00:04:59,013 --> 00:05:01,001
If it makes you feel any better,
that rat is an iconic
New Yorker.
116
00:05:01,003 --> 00:05:03,006
Yeah, so is Zora Neale Hurston,
117
00:05:03,008 --> 00:05:04,013
but no one's
comparing me to her.
118
00:05:04,015 --> 00:05:07,005
Okay, this is why I stay
off of social media entirely.
119
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:09,003
Well, you don't even have to.
Whenever you eat,
120
00:05:09,005 --> 00:05:11,005
it looks like a dinner party
in Tmagazine.
121
00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:15,005
Speaking of dinner, my dad
would like to have you over.
122
00:05:15,007 --> 00:05:17,021
He said since
I'm staying at Constance
123
00:05:17,023 --> 00:05:19,005
and I appear to be
serious about you,
124
00:05:19,007 --> 00:05:20,016
he'd like to get
to know you better.
125
00:05:20,018 --> 00:05:22,006
Um... I'm stuck
on "appear to be."
126
00:05:22,008 --> 00:05:24,013
He's a lawyer. It's always
about how it appears to be.
127
00:05:24,015 --> 00:05:25,015
But don't feel obligated to it.
It's just...
128
00:05:25,017 --> 00:05:28,009
No, are you kidding?
I mean, we can't hang out in...
129
00:05:28,011 --> 00:05:30,000
morning runs and free periods
and walks home forever.
130
00:05:30,002 --> 00:05:32,000
I want to take you out
on a...
131
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:34,014
-a real date.
132
00:05:34,016 --> 00:05:36,003
And I understand
your dad's apprehension.
133
00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:38,018
So I will bring all the charm
that I own.
134
00:05:39,011 --> 00:05:43,004
♪ Don't assume, assume ♪
135
00:05:45,023 --> 00:05:48,021
-Tragic. Just look at her.
I can't.
136
00:05:48,023 --> 00:05:50,022
My transition Lapimas don't dim
from daylight to depression.
137
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,002
Yeah, we've worked too hard
138
00:05:52,004 --> 00:05:54,015
to let Julien abdicate
without a fight.
139
00:05:54,017 --> 00:05:57,021
I know, but we've tried
every man on the Quest400 list.
140
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,019
Who's left?
141
00:05:58,021 --> 00:06:01,000
Maybe it isn't about a man.
Maybe it's her.
142
00:06:01,019 --> 00:06:02,021
Are you guys talking about me?
143
00:06:02,023 --> 00:06:04,021
-No. Of course not.
-Totally and completely, yeah.
144
00:06:04,023 --> 00:06:07,003
I don't need you to pile on too,
Max. I'm exhausted.
145
00:06:07,005 --> 00:06:12,001
You want to know why no one
you've been on a date with wants
to get to know you better? Hmm?
146
00:06:12,019 --> 00:06:14,003
It's 'cause they can't.
147
00:06:14,005 --> 00:06:15,021
You're a billboard, not a body.
148
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,009
Curated, untouchable,
willingly filtered by you,
149
00:06:18,011 --> 00:06:20,022
-your stylist and publicist.
-PR representative.
150
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,019
It's like I lost myself somehow.
151
00:06:23,021 --> 00:06:27,003
Which is why I propose
that we find her together.
152
00:06:27,005 --> 00:06:29,023
A Manhattan Maxploration,
tonight.
153
00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,016
Consider me your White Rabbit.
154
00:06:31,018 --> 00:06:33,004
We're gonna do things
that you've never done before,
155
00:06:33,006 --> 00:06:36,001
in places you have
never gone before.
156
00:06:36,003 --> 00:06:38,019
And when we are done,
you are gonna be so real,
157
00:06:38,021 --> 00:06:39,015
that even Obie will remember
158
00:06:39,017 --> 00:06:41,021
why he loved you
in the first place.
159
00:06:43,013 --> 00:06:45,017
Audrey can vouch for how good
I am at demolishing inhibitions.
160
00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,016
Fine, go out.
161
00:06:48,018 --> 00:06:49,014
But don't worry about
how it looks.
162
00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:53,006
Do it for yourself
and do not document it.
163
00:06:53,008 --> 00:06:54,019
-Document it!
-Oh, my God, document it.
164
00:06:55,005 --> 00:06:56,013
You in?
165
00:07:01,007 --> 00:07:03,007
-I'm in.
-♪ ♪
166
00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:04,002
I know you're all curious
167
00:07:04,004 --> 00:07:07,013
why I called this all-hands.
168
00:07:07,015 --> 00:07:10,000
And so I'm just gonna
cut to the chase. Gossip Girl.
169
00:07:10,002 --> 00:07:11,013
I'm sure you're aware of it.
170
00:07:11,015 --> 00:07:15,020
An anonymous Instagram account
that spies on our students
171
00:07:15,022 --> 00:07:17,008
and spreads rumors about them,
172
00:07:17,010 --> 00:07:21,004
students whose parents
rather generously
173
00:07:21,006 --> 00:07:23,006
keep the lights on around here.
174
00:07:23,008 --> 00:07:25,005
And many of those parents
are now threatening
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00:07:25,007 --> 00:07:28,012
to pull their donations
if this situation isn't solved.
176
00:07:28,014 --> 00:07:30,014
-We're dead. Worse than dead.
My predecessor...
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00:07:30,016 --> 00:07:33,023
-A Netflix documentary
on dead people.
Jordan.
178
00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:37,002
...of a pernicious presence
that would sabotage
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00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:39,002
students' studies,
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00:07:39,004 --> 00:07:41,016
their social lives,
even hijack graduation.
181
00:07:41,018 --> 00:07:43,001
And now it's happening again.
182
00:07:43,003 --> 00:07:44,021
-Vivian, if I may?
-Oh, of course, Linda.
183
00:07:44,023 --> 00:07:48,005
I've found Gossip Girl
surprisingly helpful.
184
00:07:48,007 --> 00:07:51,010
My students have seemed,
I don't know, more mindful
185
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,005
of what they say and...
186
00:07:53,007 --> 00:07:54,003
what they do around each other.
187
00:07:54,005 --> 00:07:57,009
I agree. I'd even go
so far as to say
188
00:07:57,011 --> 00:08:00,003
the students are more respectful
to us as well.
189
00:08:00,005 --> 00:08:02,008
With apologies
to my wife and Mr. Caparros,
190
00:08:02,010 --> 00:08:06,017
I firmly disagree.
Gossip Girl is a cancer.
191
00:08:06,019 --> 00:08:09,021
Kids are on their phones
more now than ever.
192
00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:11,007
And in class.
193
00:08:11,009 --> 00:08:14,002
Well, to address Mr. Schacter's
very valid concern,
194
00:08:14,004 --> 00:08:16,008
students will no longer
195
00:08:16,010 --> 00:08:18,021
have access to their phones
during the school day.
196
00:08:18,023 --> 00:08:20,005
That's gonna be bad
for business.
197
00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:23,002
And you may have noticed
some new bodies in our halls.
198
00:08:23,004 --> 00:08:25,013
One of our parents
has graciously donated
199
00:08:25,015 --> 00:08:28,006
a consultancy
with an intelligence agency.
200
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,018
They will conduct
a swift investigation
201
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:33,005
to determine the source
of our stress.
202
00:08:33,007 --> 00:08:35,018
By this time next week,
203
00:08:35,020 --> 00:08:40,018
Gossip Girl must be exposed
and expelled.
204
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:43,020
Oh, my God,
they hired Black Cube!
205
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:46,022
Let's not panic. We just have
to keep them off our scent.
206
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,002
You're all following GG from
your own accounts, right?
207
00:08:49,004 --> 00:08:50,016
Rude, of course we are.
208
00:08:50,018 --> 00:08:54,006
Okay. Then, like the posts
and watch the videos.
209
00:08:54,008 --> 00:08:56,015
A lot of teachers do,
so if you don't, you stand out.
210
00:08:56,017 --> 00:08:59,008
And no DMs from your accounts
to GG ever.
211
00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:01,006
We also shouldn't
post from school, right?
212
00:09:01,008 --> 00:09:04,003
-They could trace it?
-I put a firewall on the server.
213
00:09:04,005 --> 00:09:05,023
As long as you stay
on our Wi-Fi, you're safe.
214
00:09:06,001 --> 00:09:07,003
How can you be so sure?
215
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:09,008
I'm the computer science
teacher.
216
00:09:09,010 --> 00:09:12,001
And don't post
during school hours.
217
00:09:12,003 --> 00:09:14,006
Now that kids won't have phones,
it could point towards faculty.
218
00:09:14,008 --> 00:09:15,015
But as soon as the bell rings,
I'll keep the posts flowing.
219
00:09:15,017 --> 00:09:19,011
It would cast more light on us
if we slowed after that meeting.
220
00:09:19,013 --> 00:09:21,009
Maybe mix things up a little?
221
00:09:21,011 --> 00:09:23,002
Shine some of that light
on teachers,
222
00:09:23,004 --> 00:09:25,007
make it look more like
it's a disgruntled student?
223
00:09:25,009 --> 00:09:26,023
Got any dirt
from the home office?
224
00:09:27,001 --> 00:09:29,023
Ready to get buried?
We can start with the Schacters.
225
00:09:30,001 --> 00:09:32,014
Henry's been having an affair
with Libby the Librarian.
226
00:09:33,001 --> 00:09:34,000
Ooh.
227
00:09:34,002 --> 00:09:35,009
Make that item blind.
228
00:09:35,011 --> 00:09:36,005
Maybe there are more affairs
around here
229
00:09:36,007 --> 00:09:38,011
and we can get some great tips?
230
00:09:38,013 --> 00:09:41,017
They had perfect porcinis
at Eataly today,
231
00:09:41,019 --> 00:09:45,015
so I told Rocky
risotto ai funghiis imperative.
232
00:09:45,017 --> 00:09:48,020
Even though, um, your dad
is doing "keto" again.
233
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:51,019
-Which we both know is a lie.
234
00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:54,016
Oh. There was never
an entrance he didn't make.
235
00:09:54,018 --> 00:09:58,008
-Or a corset he couldn't cinch.
-Oh, this old McQueen?
236
00:09:58,010 --> 00:10:00,016
Your, uh,
your hair is different.
237
00:10:00,018 --> 00:10:02,021
Serge gave me a blowout.
You like?
238
00:10:03,015 --> 00:10:07,000
It's, um... It's voluminous.
239
00:10:07,002 --> 00:10:09,000
Oh, Rocky,
this looks glorious.
240
00:10:09,002 --> 00:10:12,001
As do you.
241
00:10:12,003 --> 00:10:14,000
So, where are you off to
after this?
242
00:10:14,002 --> 00:10:17,018
Critics preview for
243
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:18,009
AARONat The Public.
244
00:10:18,011 --> 00:10:21,014
-Mm.
It's, um...
245
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:26,006
A very loose adaptation
of Titus Andronicus...
246
00:10:27,019 --> 00:10:28,017
focusing on Aaron the moor.
247
00:10:28,019 --> 00:10:32,021
Gore and genitals?
Save me a full-frontal seat.
248
00:10:32,023 --> 00:10:35,019
I have.
Opening's tomorrow night.
249
00:10:35,021 --> 00:10:37,017
There's a ticket block
for all of your friends.
250
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:42,012
And Pops.
251
00:10:42,014 --> 00:10:45,000
What are you going to do tonight
while I'm at the preview, hon?
252
00:10:45,002 --> 00:10:46,023
Stay home. Working on the plans
253
00:10:47,001 --> 00:10:48,023
for Ina and Jeffrey's
hornbeam hedge.
254
00:10:53,002 --> 00:10:54,018
You know, maybe it's best
255
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:56,009
not to wear that
tomorrow night.
256
00:11:00,001 --> 00:11:01,014
Mm! And this is keto.
257
00:11:03,007 --> 00:11:05,013
As that essentially forces
them out of this neighborhood
258
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:08,003
and leaves the area
wide open for developers
259
00:11:08,005 --> 00:11:09,017
who were already circling.
260
00:11:10,010 --> 00:11:11,018
Like your parents?
261
00:11:11,020 --> 00:11:14,006
Yeah, and everybody else
who sees the Navy Yard
262
00:11:14,008 --> 00:11:16,006
as this billion-dollar
waterfront property
263
00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:16,015
and not a neighborhood.
264
00:11:17,006 --> 00:11:19,010
But I think that...
265
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,023
privilege ignores the realities
of systemic issues.
266
00:11:23,001 --> 00:11:26,011
I'm surprised to hear you speak
about your family this way.
267
00:11:26,013 --> 00:11:28,010
Yeah, well, it's nothing
I haven't told them.
268
00:11:28,012 --> 00:11:30,019
And they...
they support me.
269
00:11:30,021 --> 00:11:32,017
They want me to remind them,
keep them honest.
270
00:11:34,020 --> 00:11:37,000
-Hey, Z?
-Hmm?
271
00:11:37,002 --> 00:11:38,014
Feel like joining
the conversation?
272
00:11:38,016 --> 00:11:40,006
I'm-- I'm sorry. I...
I know I'm being rude.
273
00:11:40,008 --> 00:11:43,005
It's just, I'm trending.
274
00:11:43,007 --> 00:11:46,009
Or at least, the hashtag
"Zugly" is.
275
00:11:47,008 --> 00:11:48,019
It's Luna La.
276
00:11:48,021 --> 00:11:50,009
-She started it.
-How do you know?
277
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:54,023
"Hey Ju-lions! Let's get
the hashtag 'Zugly' trending."
278
00:11:55,001 --> 00:11:57,007
It's all so toxic.
I tried to tell Julien
279
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,015
-that social media
was ruining her life--
280
00:11:59,017 --> 00:12:01,011
How about we put away
our phones...
281
00:12:01,013 --> 00:12:05,018
and discuss how much
I'm enjoying
282
00:12:05,020 --> 00:12:07,004
getting to know Obie here?
283
00:12:08,003 --> 00:12:11,001
Are you, um, are you
enjoying it enough
284
00:12:11,003 --> 00:12:13,017
to consider letting us
go on a real date?
285
00:12:13,019 --> 00:12:14,019
-Not yet.
-Okay.
286
00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:18,008
But, you know, getting closer.
287
00:12:38,010 --> 00:12:39,019
Sorry.
-What's wrong?
288
00:12:40,018 --> 00:12:42,006
Just not into
eye contact tonight.
289
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:51,021
Yeah!
290
00:12:53,013 --> 00:12:53,019
Keep going!
291
00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:55,023
Keep going!
292
00:13:01,023 --> 00:13:03,016
-Whoa!
-Oh, sorry.
293
00:13:04,023 --> 00:13:07,015
No. Just wasn't expecting that--
294
00:13:07,017 --> 00:13:10,004
-I guess I overshot.
-By a lot.
295
00:13:14,013 --> 00:13:15,013
I'm sorry.
296
00:13:16,019 --> 00:13:18,005
It just caught me by surprise.
297
00:13:19,011 --> 00:13:23,004
Uh... Just need some time
to, uh... recoup.
298
00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:23,022
Yeah, take your time.
299
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:30,005
♪ ("IPHONE"
BY RICO NASTY PLAYING) ♪
300
00:13:30,007 --> 00:13:32,010
♪ Smoking so much gas
I forgot to put my mask on ♪
301
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:35,000
-Woo!
302
00:13:35,002 --> 00:13:36,003
♪ Called you off my iPhone ♪
303
00:13:36,005 --> 00:13:39,001
♪ Let me hold my hair for you
While you put my-- ♪
304
00:13:39,003 --> 00:13:40,003
♪ ("ACID RAIN"
BY LXURY PLAYING) ♪
305
00:13:48,009 --> 00:13:50,010
Status update?
306
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:51,018
Uh, you're in your underwear
in the Daily Mail.
307
00:13:52,019 --> 00:13:55,019
I'm in my underwear
on the Daily Mail.
308
00:13:57,018 --> 00:13:59,023
We'll WhatsApp that to Timothée.
309
00:14:00,001 --> 00:14:01,013
Actually, don't.
You'll get arrested.
310
00:14:02,017 --> 00:14:04,000
Want some?
311
00:14:04,002 --> 00:14:07,009
Uh... No, thank you,
I'm intermittent fasting.
312
00:14:07,011 --> 00:14:11,001
But offer some
to that girl there? Hey.
313
00:14:11,003 --> 00:14:13,018
All right, so you're allowed
no more than two
314
00:14:13,020 --> 00:14:15,013
but no less than one.
315
00:14:15,015 --> 00:14:17,017
I love solving inequalities!
316
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,012
Oh!
317
00:14:24,015 --> 00:14:27,006
-Oh, okay.
318
00:14:28,020 --> 00:14:30,020
-What was that?
-Space coke.
319
00:14:30,022 --> 00:14:33,001
-Is that like coke from NASA?
-It's coke with ketamine.
320
00:14:33,003 --> 00:14:35,006
Oh!
321
00:14:35,008 --> 00:14:37,013
-♪
322
00:14:37,015 --> 00:14:39,013
Yeah!
-Woo!
323
00:14:39,015 --> 00:14:41,000
I'll help with dessert
in a moment!
324
00:15:00,019 --> 00:15:02,018
What is it?
Is it an Amber Alert?
325
00:15:04,003 --> 00:15:05,008
Someone's calling you.
326
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:11,002
Hello?
-Do not call list.
327
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,022
-It-- It's Zoya.
I don't know her.
328
00:15:14,012 --> 00:15:15,023
I know you made
the Zugly hashtag.
329
00:15:16,017 --> 00:15:17,015
Yes, and?
330
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:19,020
And I'm asking you
to stop it?
331
00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:21,017
Mm! An ingenious portmanteau
like that
332
00:15:21,019 --> 00:15:24,018
only derives from a place
of truth.
333
00:15:24,020 --> 00:15:27,022
You can't dress like the Paramus
Uniqlo's back-to-school sale
334
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,021
-and not expect some feedback.
335
00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:35,002
-My name's--
-No.
336
00:15:35,004 --> 00:15:37,010
So, what are you saying?
337
00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,007
I could, um,
try to Pygmalion you.
338
00:15:39,009 --> 00:15:41,016
Pygmalion me?
339
00:15:41,018 --> 00:15:43,020
Queer Eye, Princess Diary,
Pretty Womanyou.
340
00:15:43,022 --> 00:15:45,009
Yeah, I know the reference.
341
00:15:45,011 --> 00:15:48,001
I'm just surprised you do.
Isn't it anti-feminist?
342
00:15:48,003 --> 00:15:49,022
I don't mean a feminized
transformation
343
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,018
in order to please a cis man.
344
00:15:51,020 --> 00:15:53,015
I'm talking elevating
your taste level
345
00:15:53,017 --> 00:15:56,004
so that no one
calls you Zugly again.
346
00:15:56,006 --> 00:15:58,022
Look, I don't want to become
some inauthentic version
of myself.
347
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,005
When I'm done with you,
you won't know the difference.
348
00:16:01,007 --> 00:16:03,002
As long as you're on Obie's arm,
you're in the spotlight.
349
00:16:03,004 --> 00:16:07,011
It can be a blinding glare
or a benevolent glow.
350
00:16:07,013 --> 00:16:09,021
So what's it gonna be?
-Well--
351
00:16:11,022 --> 00:16:15,011
If Julien falls, we aren't
going down with her.
352
00:16:15,013 --> 00:16:17,014
Might as well get in
with the new world order.
353
00:16:20,023 --> 00:16:26,002
Well, that was--
-Informative?
354
00:16:28,012 --> 00:16:31,001
Sometimes it's important to
experiment to see what you like.
355
00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:32,000
Or don't.
356
00:16:36,009 --> 00:16:37,007
I love you. Good night.
357
00:16:38,015 --> 00:16:39,019
I love you too.
358
00:16:48,006 --> 00:16:49,014
This just in.
359
00:16:49,016 --> 00:16:51,015
Looks like one of Constance's
most constant couples
360
00:16:51,017 --> 00:16:54,003
isn't as coupled as we thought.
361
00:16:54,005 --> 00:16:59,000
We hear one half strayed,
but not too far from the nest,
362
00:16:59,002 --> 00:17:01,010
in fact, with someone
close to both parties.
363
00:17:01,012 --> 00:17:03,023
You okay, babe?
364
00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:06,015
Yeah, just, uh... reading
Sight and Sound.You?
365
00:17:07,011 --> 00:17:08,016
Town and Country.
366
00:17:08,018 --> 00:17:10,002
That's the fun
thing about blind items.
367
00:17:10,004 --> 00:17:14,011
We often don't see what's right
in front of our eyes.
368
00:17:17,016 --> 00:17:19,014
-I love your cat suit.
-Thank you!
369
00:17:19,016 --> 00:17:21,020
It's my cast aside cat suit!
370
00:17:21,022 --> 00:17:23,019
Oh, babe,
whoever broke up with you
371
00:17:23,021 --> 00:17:26,012
doesn't deserve you
in the first place.
372
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,007
My boyfriend dumped me for
my sister-- well, half-sister--
373
00:17:34,009 --> 00:17:35,021
who I basically imported
from, like, Siberia.
374
00:17:35,023 --> 00:17:40,015
So I am on the warpath
to get over him tonight.
375
00:17:40,017 --> 00:17:43,007
You are a warrior!
-I am.
376
00:17:44,011 --> 00:17:48,019
-I am a warrior!
Maybe I should be, too.
377
00:17:48,021 --> 00:17:51,004
I have been dating my boyfriend
for a year,
378
00:17:51,006 --> 00:17:54,009
and he still won't go
public with me.
379
00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:57,007
We go off-peak to off-grid
places like this.
380
00:17:57,009 --> 00:18:01,015
Or I sleep over two nights
a week at his pied-à-terre.
381
00:18:01,017 --> 00:18:03,011
Sounds like he's
hiding something.
382
00:18:03,013 --> 00:18:04,022
Bring him to the red table!
383
00:18:05,001 --> 00:18:06,016
I should.
384
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:11,007
Like, is it his problem or mine
for caring so much?
385
00:18:11,009 --> 00:18:14,001
The moral of the story?
You can't rely on any man.
386
00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:17,005
You can only rely
on yourself, right?
387
00:18:17,007 --> 00:18:18,013
That's so fucking true.
388
00:18:27,015 --> 00:18:29,019
-Are we swiping?
-Uh, GPSing.
389
00:18:29,021 --> 00:18:31,010
It is one on Wednesday.
390
00:18:31,012 --> 00:18:33,012
We need to see where
the migaytion is flocking on.
391
00:18:33,014 --> 00:18:35,006
I'll check the LES.
392
00:18:35,008 --> 00:18:40,004
Oh... Tap him, he's cute.
And he likes pigs!
393
00:18:40,006 --> 00:18:44,013
-Oh, that's not what that means.
-What?
394
00:18:47,019 --> 00:18:49,021
-Oh, my God.
395
00:18:51,023 --> 00:18:52,023
My dad.
396
00:18:53,021 --> 00:18:55,011
No, my dad.
397
00:18:57,012 --> 00:19:00,014
And sometimes,
when we least expect it,
398
00:19:00,016 --> 00:19:03,023
our eyes are opened for us.
399
00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:06,015
My advice? Don't look away.
400
00:19:23,003 --> 00:19:24,003
Something happened.
401
00:19:24,005 --> 00:19:26,001
They're calling teachers in
for private interviews.
402
00:19:26,003 --> 00:19:28,008
What? Why?
We did everything right.
403
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:29,002
I told you, they're Black Cube!
404
00:19:29,004 --> 00:19:31,001
-They know things!
-It's a crusade.
405
00:19:31,003 --> 00:19:34,007
They won't stop till there's
a head on a spike.
406
00:19:34,009 --> 00:19:35,012
I once saw on an episode
of The Americans
407
00:19:35,014 --> 00:19:39,001
that if you squeeze your anus,
you can dupe a lie detector.
408
00:19:40,008 --> 00:19:42,011
All Burton wants is
for this to go away.
409
00:19:42,013 --> 00:19:43,019
She won't stop until it does.
410
00:19:43,021 --> 00:19:46,003
Which is why we need
to end it for her.
411
00:19:46,005 --> 00:19:46,006
We need a fall guy.
412
00:19:50,016 --> 00:19:52,019
How about a fall gay?
413
00:19:52,021 --> 00:19:54,004
He refused to join us
and knows our secrets.
414
00:19:54,006 --> 00:19:57,018
-Two birds, one stone?
-We can't do that. Can we?
415
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,003
He's too big of a fish to fry.
416
00:19:59,005 --> 00:20:01,015
Then who? We need
to scapegoat someone
417
00:20:01,017 --> 00:20:04,007
before we're strapped
to the chair ourselves.
418
00:20:04,009 --> 00:20:06,002
-Shit. Shit.
-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
419
00:20:06,004 --> 00:20:07,022
You, uh, rough night?
420
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,018
-Um... One could say that.
-You okay?
421
00:20:14,001 --> 00:20:15,019
I'm actually glad
I ran into you.
422
00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,021
The craziest thing happened
423
00:20:17,023 --> 00:20:20,014
and I just need to talk about it
with someone I can trust.
424
00:20:20,016 --> 00:20:21,017
Last night...
425
00:20:25,010 --> 00:20:29,002
-You know what, forget it.
-No, um, it's, um--
426
00:20:29,004 --> 00:20:31,015
I'm sorry, all right? It's just,
I probably shouldn't--
427
00:20:31,017 --> 00:20:33,004
Yeah, of course. You shouldn't.
But you did anyway, so.
428
00:20:45,021 --> 00:20:47,003
Hey, did you come in
the side way?
I've been waiting for you!
429
00:20:47,005 --> 00:20:49,002
Someone sent Deuxmoi
my old Dubsmashes,
430
00:20:49,004 --> 00:20:51,020
-and now everyone is just la--
431
00:20:51,022 --> 00:20:53,001
You can't use your phone
at school!
432
00:20:53,003 --> 00:20:55,000
Hey. All right. Okay, okay.
All right. Look, look, look,
433
00:20:55,002 --> 00:20:57,007
I know what's gonna
cheer you up.
434
00:20:57,009 --> 00:21:00,001
Your dad gave us permission
for our first real date!
435
00:21:00,003 --> 00:21:02,008
Yeah. And I got us tickets
to Jeremy O. Harris's new play.
Opening night.
436
00:21:02,010 --> 00:21:04,008
When I told him what it was,
he caved because he knows
437
00:21:04,010 --> 00:21:06,020
how important theater
is to you and everything.
438
00:21:06,022 --> 00:21:09,020
And you can tell me
what it all means afterwards.
439
00:21:09,022 --> 00:21:11,006
'Cause you know,
off-Broadway is like...
440
00:21:13,002 --> 00:21:14,005
all confusing and...
441
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,010
-I thought you loved
the theater?
-No, I do. I do.
442
00:21:18,012 --> 00:21:20,006
And I couldn't be more excited.
Excuse me.
443
00:21:23,013 --> 00:21:26,010
-You told Gossip Girl about us?
-Shizukani,Akeno.
444
00:21:26,012 --> 00:21:31,004
I have not had enough espresso
or Vyvanse for this encounter.
445
00:21:31,006 --> 00:21:33,009
-So you admit you did it?
-What, spill the bathwater?
446
00:21:33,011 --> 00:21:34,013
No, of course not.
447
00:21:34,015 --> 00:21:36,018
Do you know how many people
cheat in this school?
448
00:21:36,020 --> 00:21:38,011
This place has more
side pieces than Versailles.
449
00:21:38,013 --> 00:21:39,000
She could have meant any couple.
450
00:21:39,002 --> 00:21:40,021
That post was clearly me
451
00:21:40,023 --> 00:21:42,004
-and Aud--
-What about me?
452
00:21:42,006 --> 00:21:45,004
Um... That, uh, you look
good enough to eat.
453
00:21:45,006 --> 00:21:46,014
Oh.
454
00:21:46,016 --> 00:21:48,011
Could you get me
a contraband straw?
455
00:21:48,013 --> 00:21:49,020
This paper ones always break.
456
00:21:53,007 --> 00:21:55,009
What the hell, Wolfe!
You told Gossip Girl about us?
457
00:21:55,011 --> 00:21:57,020
Oh, for fuck's sake,
not this again.
458
00:21:57,022 --> 00:22:00,005
-Again? What do you mean again?
-Why is everyone on my case?
459
00:22:00,007 --> 00:22:02,018
I have a lot of things
on my mind right now
460
00:22:02,020 --> 00:22:04,013
and your lesbian bed death
is certainly not one of them.
461
00:22:04,015 --> 00:22:08,003
You know what? If you're so
worried about it getting out,
462
00:22:08,005 --> 00:22:09,017
maybe you shouldn't have
done it in the first place!
463
00:22:13,015 --> 00:22:14,017
This one's made of wheat.
464
00:22:20,023 --> 00:22:23,000
Progress report on
the sins of our fathers?
465
00:22:23,002 --> 00:22:24,021
I searched the entire house
last night
466
00:22:24,023 --> 00:22:26,002
and couldn't find a thing.
467
00:22:26,004 --> 00:22:29,010
No hidden passages from the
service entrance to his room.
468
00:22:29,012 --> 00:22:31,002
No stray La Perlas
in the closet.
469
00:22:31,004 --> 00:22:33,009
No sign of a girlfriend at all.
So, he is hiding her.
470
00:22:35,004 --> 00:22:36,022
-But why?
-Hm.
471
00:22:37,000 --> 00:22:40,002
I Insta-stalked her.
Lola Morgan.
472
00:22:40,004 --> 00:22:42,022
-Singer-songwriter.
-Hm, that tracks.
473
00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:45,000
I'm determined
to gain clarity on this.
474
00:22:45,019 --> 00:22:47,014
What about you?
475
00:22:47,016 --> 00:22:50,018
I gently prodded Dad and he said
they've never opened,
476
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:52,010
so I don't know why Pops
is on there "newly single."
477
00:22:52,012 --> 00:22:55,010
So of course, I had
to take drastic measures.
478
00:22:57,021 --> 00:23:00,021
He probably has his reasons.
Maybe just leave it alone?
479
00:23:00,023 --> 00:23:04,001
Mm... Maybe Davis has his
and you should too?
480
00:23:08,023 --> 00:23:10,014
The Prince and the Popo?
481
00:23:10,016 --> 00:23:12,015
"The new girl on the arm
of prince of New York
482
00:23:12,017 --> 00:23:15,014
Otto Bergmann IV
is something called a Zoya Lott.
483
00:23:15,016 --> 00:23:18,012
And no, apparently,
that's not her drag name.
484
00:23:18,014 --> 00:23:20,011
An import from
a shtetl called Buffalo,
485
00:23:20,013 --> 00:23:22,013
Lott was overheard
at not-spot Via Quadronno
486
00:23:22,015 --> 00:23:24,001
saying New York smelled
like garbage."
487
00:23:24,003 --> 00:23:25,016
It was literally garbage day!
488
00:23:25,018 --> 00:23:28,021
It's New York.
It's always garbage day.
489
00:23:29,018 --> 00:23:30,011
When are you going to get it?
490
00:23:30,013 --> 00:23:32,005
As far as the press
is concerned,
491
00:23:32,007 --> 00:23:33,005
he's R-Patz
and you're Suki nobody.
492
00:23:33,007 --> 00:23:36,007
This is the land
of schadenfreude on Adderall.
493
00:23:36,009 --> 00:23:39,002
You need to curate
your image as meticulously
494
00:23:39,004 --> 00:23:41,022
as a Gagauzian exhibit
and follow only my rules.
495
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:43,004
Otherwise, you'll end up being
banned like a plastic bag
496
00:23:43,006 --> 00:23:45,022
on the corner of Lex
and D'Agostino.
497
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,023
Okay, I'm going to an opening
with Obie tonight,
498
00:23:48,001 --> 00:23:49,018
so I need your help now
more than ever.
499
00:23:49,020 --> 00:23:52,005
-Then let's get started.
-♪ ("STOP!" BY UPSAHL PLAYING) ♪
500
00:23:52,007 --> 00:23:54,017
First rule.
Never speak in public,
501
00:23:54,019 --> 00:23:55,016
which you've just learned.
502
00:23:55,018 --> 00:23:58,002
Second rule.
Never look directly at a camera.
503
00:23:58,004 --> 00:24:01,004
Never look directly anywhere.
504
00:24:01,006 --> 00:24:04,004
-These are contacts.
-I don't wear contacts.
505
00:24:04,006 --> 00:24:06,006
Exactly. They'll make
everything blurry.
506
00:24:06,008 --> 00:24:08,020
This way, you'll always
look like you're smizing.
507
00:24:08,022 --> 00:24:10,011
Because you literally
can't see anything.
508
00:24:12,002 --> 00:24:14,011
Third rule. Never sweat.
509
00:24:14,013 --> 00:24:17,000
-Relax, it's just Botox.
-I don't want Botox, I'm 14!
510
00:24:17,002 --> 00:24:19,000
It's preventative.
511
00:24:19,002 --> 00:24:20,019
And don't worry, it's not
for your face, anyway.
512
00:24:20,021 --> 00:24:21,021
Then what is it for?
513
00:24:22,019 --> 00:24:26,011
Fine, a pad will do. Lift.
514
00:24:26,013 --> 00:24:28,014
-That'll make me sweat more.
-And now no one will see it.
515
00:24:28,016 --> 00:24:31,005
-Fourth rule. Know your side.
-I have a side?
516
00:24:31,007 --> 00:24:31,021
You do and it's not
facing me right now.
517
00:24:31,023 --> 00:24:34,007
Are you taking notes?
518
00:24:34,009 --> 00:24:36,014
♪ My heart's gonna beat so fast
Gonna beat so fast ♪
519
00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:39,005
♪ Gonna beat so fast
That it might stop! ♪
520
00:24:40,010 --> 00:24:43,001
♪ Oh, it feels like my ♪
521
00:24:43,003 --> 00:24:46,007
♪ Woo, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Woo, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
522
00:24:46,009 --> 00:24:48,023
♪ Ooh, ooh
Woo, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
523
00:24:49,001 --> 00:24:50,011
♪ Woo, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh... ♪
524
00:24:52,022 --> 00:24:55,003
And finally, five tenets
to live and die by in public.
525
00:24:55,005 --> 00:24:57,017
Never eat, cry, PDA,
MTA or wear flats.
526
00:24:57,019 --> 00:24:58,016
-Where am I supposed to eat?
-In private,
527
00:24:58,018 --> 00:25:00,015
with the blinds drawn.
And whatever you do,
528
00:25:00,017 --> 00:25:03,003
never trust the doorman.
They sell tips to TMZ.
529
00:25:03,005 --> 00:25:04,018
No way! Jimmy's been
in the building
530
00:25:04,020 --> 00:25:07,011
-since the '70s when
my grandma first moved there.
-Ew. You live with your grandma?
531
00:25:07,013 --> 00:25:09,015
No. I mean, she's in a home,
but I stay in her apartment,
532
00:25:09,017 --> 00:25:11,010
which is probably something
I shouldn't have told you
533
00:25:11,012 --> 00:25:13,023
because it's rent-controlled
and the board doesn't know
that I'm there, but--
534
00:25:14,001 --> 00:25:16,004
Do I look like I want a story?
You're a client,
not a colleague.
535
00:25:16,006 --> 00:25:16,017
Now show me what's in your bag.
536
00:25:16,019 --> 00:25:19,000
Hey!
537
00:25:19,002 --> 00:25:20,023
I shouldn't be seen
with you right now.
538
00:25:21,001 --> 00:25:22,012
It's fine, Gossip Girl
knows nothing, okay?
539
00:25:24,014 --> 00:25:26,002
But she could find out.
540
00:25:26,004 --> 00:25:27,023
If you want to guarantee,
I'll never tell...
541
00:25:28,001 --> 00:25:29,023
-More steam-room shenanigans?
542
00:25:30,001 --> 00:25:32,009
More of a catfishing expedition.
543
00:25:32,011 --> 00:25:35,018
I need you to create
a fake Scruff profile
544
00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:37,008
and use it on my dad.
545
00:25:38,005 --> 00:25:39,015
Are you out
of your fucking mind?
546
00:25:39,017 --> 00:25:42,006
Look, I need proof that he
is using the app
for more than perusal.
547
00:25:42,008 --> 00:25:45,004
-Why don't you just
do it yourself?
-You want me to sext my father?
548
00:25:45,006 --> 00:25:46,020
Is it any better you want me to?
549
00:25:46,022 --> 00:25:50,010
No, not as you. As Rafa. Okay?
550
00:25:50,012 --> 00:25:52,011
Clone his profile
and get chatty.
551
00:25:52,013 --> 00:25:53,022
No nudes, no private album,
552
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,009
just the innocent intention
of meeting up on record.
553
00:25:56,011 --> 00:25:59,021
This is ridiculous,
even for you.
554
00:25:59,023 --> 00:26:01,023
Well, since the guy
won't fuck me,
555
00:26:02,001 --> 00:26:03,017
I might as well fuck with him.
556
00:26:04,022 --> 00:26:07,019
Here. Come on, I'll even--
I'll set it up myself.
557
00:26:15,002 --> 00:26:22,007
♪ ("TEAR DROP"
BY MASSIVE ATTACK PLAYING) ♪
558
00:26:22,009 --> 00:26:24,004
Spotted on
559
00:26:24,006 --> 00:26:27,013
JC donning her best disguise.
560
00:26:27,015 --> 00:26:32,005
♪ Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing... ♪
561
00:26:32,007 --> 00:26:33,018
And is she the only one?
562
00:26:33,020 --> 00:26:38,005
♪ Fearless on my breath ♪
563
00:26:39,022 --> 00:26:45,020
♪ Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter ♪
564
00:26:45,022 --> 00:26:52,000
♪ Fearless on my breath ♪
565
00:26:52,002 --> 00:26:59,000
♪ Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath ♪
566
00:27:04,008 --> 00:27:11,005
♪ Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath ♪
567
00:27:13,005 --> 00:27:15,014
Guess we better
run to the box office
568
00:27:15,016 --> 00:27:18,009
to get our own ticket
for tonight's show.
569
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:21,002
Something is clearly
about to go down.
570
00:27:21,004 --> 00:27:25,015
♪ Stumbling down ♪
571
00:27:31,003 --> 00:27:32,016
What in God's name
are you wearing?
572
00:27:33,016 --> 00:27:36,020
Your father thought it advisable
573
00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:37,022
not to ruffle
any feathers tonight.
574
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:42,001
Although, to be honest,
I would rather be wearing them.
575
00:27:42,003 --> 00:27:45,002
-Well, why aren't you, then?
-He said I looked great.
576
00:27:45,004 --> 00:27:45,022
Dignified.
577
00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:47,005
Oh, that's because
you look like him.
578
00:27:47,007 --> 00:27:50,000
-Maximus--
-No, no, wait.
579
00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:53,002
I do not want to ruffle
any feathers either, okay?
580
00:27:53,004 --> 00:27:55,004
But you raised me to be
my most authentic self,
581
00:27:55,006 --> 00:27:57,005
-did you not?
-Of course we did. And you are.
582
00:27:57,007 --> 00:27:58,015
And we wouldn't have it
any other way.
583
00:27:58,017 --> 00:28:01,006
Then you need to start
following your own advice.
584
00:28:01,008 --> 00:28:03,013
Be you. To hell with what
anyone else says.
585
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,019
-Even Pops.
-Oh. I don't know--
586
00:28:05,021 --> 00:28:08,018
Did I not see the most
spectacular Kamali number
587
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:11,014
in your closet? That would
just be perfect for tonight.
588
00:28:11,016 --> 00:28:13,012
-I know. I did have it tailored.
-Yeah, yeah.
589
00:28:13,014 --> 00:28:17,002
Okay, well I'm excited
to see it on you.
590
00:28:17,004 --> 00:28:18,016
Go. I'll change, too.
591
00:28:43,023 --> 00:28:45,009
Since when do you take a car?
592
00:28:45,011 --> 00:28:47,007
Remind me to learn
how to Citi-bike in a dress?
593
00:28:48,013 --> 00:28:50,000
So this is what you
look like at night?
594
00:28:50,014 --> 00:28:52,016
It, uh-- It is now.
595
00:28:54,017 --> 00:28:57,004
It's beautiful.
You're beautiful.
596
00:28:57,014 --> 00:28:58,019
Thank you.
597
00:29:00,021 --> 00:29:02,007
You know, I'm really glad
you invited me
598
00:29:02,009 --> 00:29:04,011
as your plus one tonight.
I feel like it's been forever
599
00:29:04,013 --> 00:29:06,015
since we did something
like this, just the two of us.
600
00:29:06,017 --> 00:29:08,012
Well, I'm really glad
you're back from Berlin.
601
00:29:08,014 --> 00:29:11,003
But you must be exhausted.
You should have coffee.
602
00:29:11,005 --> 00:29:14,016
I heard the play is very long
and full of surprises.
603
00:29:14,018 --> 00:29:16,006
-You're gonna want to be awake.
-Okay.
604
00:29:16,008 --> 00:29:17,010
-I'll be right back.
-Sure.
605
00:29:19,016 --> 00:29:21,010
Hey, what did he say, exactly?
606
00:29:21,012 --> 00:29:22,015
Why don't you
just read it yourself?
607
00:29:24,001 --> 00:29:25,012
He was hesitant at first
but then he asked
608
00:29:25,014 --> 00:29:27,005
if we could come over
to my place next weekend.
609
00:29:27,007 --> 00:29:28,020
That's when my dad's in London.
Okay, um--
610
00:29:28,022 --> 00:29:31,018
Okay, maybe-- maybe I do
need to read it for myself?
611
00:29:31,020 --> 00:29:33,016
-What's your password?
-2046.
612
00:29:33,018 --> 00:29:35,010
Wong Kar-Wai's
unsung masterpiece.
613
00:29:36,014 --> 00:29:37,023
Did you just steal my phone?
614
00:29:41,018 --> 00:29:43,011
Thank God you're
sitting next to us.
615
00:29:43,013 --> 00:29:44,020
I cannot be near Max,
or Aki might put it together.
616
00:29:44,022 --> 00:29:47,018
I really don't think Gossip Girl
was referring to you.
617
00:29:47,020 --> 00:29:49,015
Optically speaking, I would like
to err on the side of caution.
618
00:29:49,017 --> 00:29:51,014
Proximity plus the wine
I'm gonna need
619
00:29:51,016 --> 00:29:53,020
to get through this play
are not a good combo.
620
00:29:58,006 --> 00:29:59,006
What are you looking for?
621
00:30:09,005 --> 00:30:10,019
Hi.
622
00:30:13,013 --> 00:30:13,019
There's Max.
623
00:30:15,023 --> 00:30:20,000
Who knew you liked a grand
romantic gesture so much?
624
00:30:20,002 --> 00:30:21,002
Lola.
625
00:30:22,008 --> 00:30:24,006
-What are you--
-You look surprised.
626
00:30:24,008 --> 00:30:27,017
Yes, I do exist before
the clock strikes 11:00.
627
00:30:27,019 --> 00:30:30,009
Those lily roses with the ticket
tucked and twined?
628
00:30:30,011 --> 00:30:33,012
-So thoughtful.
629
00:30:33,014 --> 00:30:37,009
And opening night,
what a way to go public!
630
00:30:37,011 --> 00:30:40,006
At The Public!
631
00:30:40,008 --> 00:30:43,011
Well, I am so glad
it worked out.
632
00:30:43,013 --> 00:30:44,014
Would you excuse me
for one minute?
633
00:30:44,016 --> 00:30:45,005
I should hit
the bathroom before--
634
00:30:45,007 --> 00:30:47,000
Okay.
635
00:30:47,015 --> 00:30:48,021
I'll be here.
636
00:30:53,011 --> 00:30:55,018
♪ Lonely tonight ♪
637
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:57,009
Oh God,
what did you do?
638
00:30:57,011 --> 00:30:58,010
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
639
00:30:58,012 --> 00:31:00,015
Normally I wouldn't accept
a gift from a student.
640
00:31:00,017 --> 00:31:03,002
But I'm a huge fan
of Jeremy's work,
641
00:31:03,004 --> 00:31:04,011
-so thank your dad for me?
-You can thank him yourself.
642
00:31:04,013 --> 00:31:07,001
I'll introduce you
after the show.
643
00:31:08,014 --> 00:31:10,014
You know what?
You deserve a better seat.
644
00:31:10,016 --> 00:31:12,007
Here, take my ticket instead.
645
00:31:16,012 --> 00:31:19,019
-Oh... I need your ticket.
-The extra one you gave me?
646
00:31:19,021 --> 00:31:21,010
No, I need it.
647
00:31:21,012 --> 00:31:23,017
The sacrifices we make
for the theater, darling.
648
00:31:23,019 --> 00:31:25,019
Next time,
steal someone else's plan.
649
00:31:26,013 --> 00:31:28,005
But this is obstructed view!
650
00:31:28,007 --> 00:31:30,002
Well, guess you need
to gain some clarity.
651
00:31:37,001 --> 00:31:40,004
Let the play around
the play begin.
652
00:31:56,007 --> 00:31:58,001
Thought you were supposed
to sit with your dads?
653
00:31:58,003 --> 00:31:59,018
You don't like me in the middle?
654
00:32:02,014 --> 00:32:05,011
Sorry.
-Dude, give me back my phone!
655
00:32:09,003 --> 00:32:13,013
Ooh, looks like someone's been
doing extra credit homework.
656
00:32:13,015 --> 00:32:14,022
What are you guys doing?
657
00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:16,004
-Nothing.
658
00:32:16,006 --> 00:32:18,003
"AARON features
full frontal nudity,
659
00:32:18,005 --> 00:32:22,000
potentially disturbing
realistically depicted violence,
660
00:32:22,002 --> 00:32:23,020
simulated and non-simulated
sex scenes,
661
00:32:23,022 --> 00:32:27,010
and..."
"...audience participation."
662
00:32:27,012 --> 00:32:29,014
Try and put on
a brave face, dear.
663
00:32:29,016 --> 00:32:30,022
It's a miracle
the theater's even open.
664
00:32:34,022 --> 00:32:35,000
What do you know?
665
00:32:36,012 --> 00:32:37,022
Mr. Caparros, right?
666
00:32:38,008 --> 00:32:39,008
Who?
667
00:32:39,010 --> 00:32:41,022
-Max's Classics teacher!
-Of course. Nice to see you.
668
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
And please, Rafa.
669
00:32:43,002 --> 00:32:43,016
I don't think you two
know each other.
670
00:32:43,018 --> 00:32:46,000
Uh, no, no. We certainly don't.
671
00:32:46,002 --> 00:32:48,005
-Nice to meet you.
-This is my husband, Roy Sachs.
672
00:32:48,007 --> 00:32:49,022
Honey, I think you had
a walkthrough in Wilton,
673
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,001
the day of parent-teacher
conferences.
674
00:32:52,003 --> 00:32:54,019
I was so thrilled to learn
you're having them
675
00:32:54,021 --> 00:32:57,004
-read Catullus
and Ovid this term.
-Mm.
676
00:32:57,006 --> 00:33:03,023
All right, I've got Justin's,
peanut M&Ms and Tate's.
677
00:33:04,001 --> 00:33:06,002
They're the gluten-free ones,
'cause they were out
of the regular.
678
00:33:06,017 --> 00:33:08,008
I'm good. Thank you.
679
00:33:08,010 --> 00:33:11,001
-I thought you loved M&Ms.
-I'm just not very hungry.
680
00:33:13,023 --> 00:33:16,017
You know, I saw Hamiltonhere
with Max,
681
00:33:16,019 --> 00:33:18,000
before it went on Broadway.
682
00:33:19,010 --> 00:33:21,010
You into that play?
683
00:33:22,003 --> 00:33:23,002
No doubt it's a work of art.
684
00:33:25,014 --> 00:33:28,002
-Um, but--
-But what?
685
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:32,017
What?
686
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,010
Of course.
687
00:33:35,012 --> 00:33:37,010
I thought you were coming here
with your dad?
688
00:33:37,012 --> 00:33:39,023
I don't have to tell you
who I am or am not here with.
689
00:33:42,001 --> 00:33:43,006
It's the least you can do.
690
00:33:50,006 --> 00:33:52,015
-Can you remove your hat?
-Uh... No.
691
00:33:52,017 --> 00:33:53,018
Who's that that your--
Who's that that your dad's with?
692
00:33:53,020 --> 00:33:56,014
Why? Do you want
to date her, too?
693
00:34:05,020 --> 00:34:06,020
That's my...
694
00:34:09,001 --> 00:34:11,000
-She's my--
-Your daughter?
695
00:34:12,010 --> 00:34:14,018
Who I now realize I met
the other night.
696
00:34:17,004 --> 00:34:19,005
You didn't invite me here,
did you?
697
00:34:20,013 --> 00:34:24,001
LX 1. LX 2, go.
698
00:34:24,018 --> 00:34:25,004
Aaron, go.
699
00:34:38,003 --> 00:34:39,006
What?
700
00:34:40,016 --> 00:34:42,010
What?
701
00:34:42,012 --> 00:34:44,022
Have I not arrived
as you assumed I would?
702
00:34:45,013 --> 00:34:47,014
Like a black dog.
703
00:34:48,013 --> 00:34:49,004
As the saying is...
704
00:34:53,007 --> 00:34:55,016
You do know who I am, right?
705
00:34:57,005 --> 00:34:58,017
The inhuman dog.
706
00:35:00,006 --> 00:35:02,013
Unhallowed slave.
707
00:35:04,012 --> 00:35:07,011
Who said it first?
708
00:35:09,014 --> 00:35:10,013
You...
709
00:35:12,006 --> 00:35:13,009
Who said it first?
710
00:35:16,015 --> 00:35:19,001
My... ...father
said it of my father!
711
00:35:22,018 --> 00:35:25,003
♪ ("NEVER SAY NEVER"
BY ROMEO VOID PLAYING) ♪
712
00:35:25,005 --> 00:35:28,004
So, what'd you think?
It was pretty intense, huh?
713
00:35:31,007 --> 00:35:33,012
And you're still shocked, I see.
714
00:35:33,014 --> 00:35:34,017
There's a four-block rule.
715
00:35:34,019 --> 00:35:36,011
You can't talk about the work
until you're four blocks away.
716
00:35:36,013 --> 00:35:39,017
I've never known you to wait
half a block to say anything.
717
00:35:39,019 --> 00:35:41,003
Thank you.
718
00:35:42,003 --> 00:35:44,010
Now you're turning down
lemongrass chicken?
719
00:35:44,012 --> 00:35:46,004
The play was, like,
four hours long, I mean...
720
00:35:48,008 --> 00:35:50,013
Well, you must be... starving.
721
00:35:52,001 --> 00:35:54,004
I'll be right back.
722
00:35:55,001 --> 00:35:59,011
-Hey. Hey. We need to talk.
-Do we?
723
00:35:59,013 --> 00:36:00,008
Because I'm pretty sure
whatever you say,
724
00:36:00,010 --> 00:36:02,011
you'll be leaving
a lot out as usual.
725
00:36:02,013 --> 00:36:04,015
-What you did tonight was--
-Oh, I'm at fault?
726
00:36:04,017 --> 00:36:08,008
Do I have a secret apartment?
A secret partner, a secret life?
727
00:36:08,010 --> 00:36:10,016
It was never my intention
to hide anything from you.
728
00:36:10,018 --> 00:36:14,012
But you did. And you didn't
just hide it, you lied.
729
00:36:14,014 --> 00:36:16,010
All of these trips you take,
how many are real
730
00:36:16,012 --> 00:36:18,006
and how many
are ten blocks away?
731
00:36:18,008 --> 00:36:20,017
-It's not that simp--
-Okay, yeah.
732
00:36:20,019 --> 00:36:23,023
I guess we just have more
in common than I realized.
733
00:36:24,001 --> 00:36:26,021
We both have a public life
and a private one.
734
00:36:26,023 --> 00:36:28,015
I don't want to do that anymore.
735
00:36:28,017 --> 00:36:32,006
-Hey, Julien. I am sorry--
-It's not your fault.
736
00:36:32,020 --> 00:36:34,006
But a tip?
737
00:36:34,008 --> 00:36:36,012
You should probably find someone
who isn't afraid to be seen
with you.
738
00:36:45,003 --> 00:36:47,001
Burton emailed me
my interrogation time.
739
00:36:47,003 --> 00:36:50,009
During school hours, like...
740
00:36:50,011 --> 00:36:52,020
I guess it's more important
to talk to a bunch of black hats
741
00:36:52,022 --> 00:36:54,011
about an anonymous
Instagram account
742
00:36:54,013 --> 00:36:57,000
-than actually teach students?
-It's not anonymous to you.
743
00:36:57,002 --> 00:37:00,007
George doesn't understand
our little social experiment.
744
00:37:00,009 --> 00:37:01,023
He went to public school
in Suburbia
745
00:37:02,001 --> 00:37:03,019
where everybody was nice
to each other.
746
00:37:03,021 --> 00:37:05,011
This isn't something
to joke about.
747
00:37:05,013 --> 00:37:07,003
That firm exposed billionaires,
748
00:37:07,005 --> 00:37:09,023
uncovered massive
corporate security breaches.
749
00:37:10,001 --> 00:37:12,001
They worked for Weinstein.
You think you can outsmart them?
750
00:37:12,003 --> 00:37:15,014
I did place a firewall
on the school servers.
751
00:37:15,016 --> 00:37:16,019
These people invented firewalls.
752
00:37:16,021 --> 00:37:20,004
You should quit now before your
entire careers are destroyed.
753
00:37:20,006 --> 00:37:22,019
I understand
your concerns, George.
754
00:37:22,021 --> 00:37:26,019
But the school board doesn't
actually care about Gossip Girl.
755
00:37:26,021 --> 00:37:28,007
They just hate the noise.
756
00:37:28,009 --> 00:37:30,016
We're in the midst
of figuring out a way
757
00:37:30,018 --> 00:37:31,003
-to quiet it all down.
758
00:37:32,001 --> 00:37:36,000
You're my wife.
I can't help but worry.
759
00:37:36,002 --> 00:37:37,012
You know why I was fired?
760
00:37:37,014 --> 00:37:39,020
My boss, a father
at your school,
761
00:37:39,022 --> 00:37:43,005
knew I knew
he had expensed escorts.
762
00:37:43,007 --> 00:37:44,022
That's why we're doing this.
763
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,016
To hold these people
and their kids accountable.
764
00:37:48,020 --> 00:37:52,014
-You could expose him.
-I've already lost my job.
765
00:37:52,016 --> 00:37:54,012
I don't want to lose
my integrity on top of that.
766
00:37:55,010 --> 00:37:58,006
Besides, privilege and power,
767
00:37:58,008 --> 00:38:01,016
no matter how amoral,
will always win in the end.
768
00:38:01,018 --> 00:38:04,023
And the people at the bottom
will always end up with nothing.
769
00:38:05,001 --> 00:38:07,023
People like us. Sorry,
where's your bathroom?
770
00:38:08,001 --> 00:38:09,020
Um... Just down the hall,
to the left.
771
00:38:15,012 --> 00:38:17,011
We are a bit wrapped up in it.
772
00:38:17,013 --> 00:38:19,022
Well, of course we are.
We created it.
773
00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:21,011
Maybe we should be considering
774
00:38:21,013 --> 00:38:23,017
if it's worth risking
everything we care about?
775
00:38:23,019 --> 00:38:26,009
I like being a teacher.
Don't you?
776
00:38:38,013 --> 00:38:40,004
Did we just get fucked?
777
00:38:41,009 --> 00:38:42,015
I loved it.
778
00:38:42,017 --> 00:38:45,021
But it'd be committing
theatrical seppuku
to transfer it.
779
00:38:45,023 --> 00:38:50,009
It would close in a week,
especially without a star.
780
00:38:50,011 --> 00:38:52,023
I just wish it wasn't
so confrontational.
781
00:38:53,001 --> 00:38:56,015
I mean, even Taylor Mac
added farce to his Titus.
782
00:38:56,017 --> 00:38:57,010
And it still flopped.
783
00:38:57,012 --> 00:38:59,012
I guess it's Ivo's
gender-swapped
784
00:38:59,014 --> 00:39:01,015
My Fair Lady
with Gyllenhaal instead?
785
00:39:01,017 --> 00:39:02,005
Are you kidding me?
786
00:39:04,010 --> 00:39:06,005
Hey, where've you been?
I've been looking for you.
787
00:39:06,007 --> 00:39:09,005
-Obie. Do you know--
-A provocative play like AARON
788
00:39:09,007 --> 00:39:11,014
is exactly what Broadway
needs after a year on pause.
789
00:39:11,016 --> 00:39:14,008
What it doesn't is another
"revisal" of-- of anything.
790
00:39:14,010 --> 00:39:16,010
Especially one devised
by white people,
791
00:39:16,012 --> 00:39:18,006
about white people,
starring white people.
792
00:39:18,008 --> 00:39:20,020
That's why the theater
was invented, right?
793
00:39:20,022 --> 00:39:25,000
To challenge audience members
to-- to think
beyond their own narratives.
794
00:39:25,002 --> 00:39:26,019
I mean, come on, have you
never read Shange?
795
00:39:27,008 --> 00:39:28,019
Albee? Fornés?
796
00:39:29,020 --> 00:39:32,020
-Hey. Who are you?
Oh, hi, Jeremy.
797
00:39:32,022 --> 00:39:35,001
Oh. I'm no one.
798
00:39:35,003 --> 00:39:37,002
You seem very much
like someone to me.
799
00:39:37,004 --> 00:39:38,010
Let's find a less
confrontational space.
800
00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:40,012
And have a little talk.
801
00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:45,000
Hey, excuse us.
802
00:39:50,016 --> 00:39:52,007
Um... Hey.
803
00:39:52,009 --> 00:39:55,019
Sorry about messaging
you at the theater--
804
00:39:55,021 --> 00:39:59,005
About that. I think you might
have me confused
with someone else.
805
00:39:59,007 --> 00:40:02,020
Hey, Pops! Don't leave me
and Dad out of the conversation!
806
00:40:02,022 --> 00:40:04,001
Max, I was talking to my friend.
807
00:40:04,003 --> 00:40:07,019
Oh, you're gonna want to talk
to these two more, trust me.
808
00:40:07,021 --> 00:40:09,011
Do you want to tell him
or should I?
809
00:40:09,013 --> 00:40:10,013
Want to tell him what?
810
00:40:11,013 --> 00:40:12,010
Tell me what?
811
00:40:13,013 --> 00:40:15,001
-I'm confused...
-Max.
812
00:40:18,017 --> 00:40:20,000
Pops is on Scruff.
813
00:40:21,010 --> 00:40:23,016
Yeah, he's got an active profile
that says "newly single."
814
00:40:23,018 --> 00:40:28,003
And he's been messaging guys
with the intention of cheating.
815
00:40:28,005 --> 00:40:29,018
This guy in particular.
816
00:40:29,020 --> 00:40:32,012
Hey, Max. Max, that's enough.
Stop. Stop it. Give me that.
817
00:40:32,014 --> 00:40:33,022
-Stop that!
-Wait, you did this?
818
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:35,020
With Max's teacher?
819
00:40:35,022 --> 00:40:39,000
Yes, I did, but--
-Not with me, no. It...
820
00:40:39,002 --> 00:40:40,009
What do you mean,
not with you?
821
00:40:41,013 --> 00:40:43,011
I think your son can explain.
822
00:40:43,013 --> 00:40:45,006
What does he have
to do with this?
823
00:40:45,008 --> 00:40:47,014
He deserved to know the truth.
824
00:40:47,016 --> 00:40:49,022
-Did you pretend--
-Well, not me, but--
825
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:51,012
Is it true?
826
00:40:51,014 --> 00:40:53,016
-Is it true?
-Nothing happened.
827
00:40:53,018 --> 00:40:55,012
All right, it was just talk,
it was all talk.
828
00:40:55,014 --> 00:40:56,020
But you wanted something
to happen.
829
00:40:56,022 --> 00:40:59,016
I just wanted to talk
and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
830
00:40:59,018 --> 00:41:01,018
I don't understand why you
would do something like this.
831
00:41:01,020 --> 00:41:04,001
Oh, God!
832
00:41:04,003 --> 00:41:05,004
Look, Gideon, I love you.
833
00:41:05,006 --> 00:41:07,011
But when I fell in love
with you, you were different.
834
00:41:09,008 --> 00:41:11,004
You've changed.
And I'm not sure I...
835
00:41:12,019 --> 00:41:14,001
I don't even know
if I'm able to--
836
00:41:14,003 --> 00:41:16,013
Still be attracted to me.
837
00:41:16,015 --> 00:41:20,013
-With all this.
-I still love you.
838
00:41:20,015 --> 00:41:22,021
-I do, but--
-But you like it masc?
839
00:41:23,016 --> 00:41:24,019
Is that it?
840
00:41:24,021 --> 00:41:26,011
And instead of talking
to me about it,
841
00:41:26,013 --> 00:41:28,008
you were gonna fuck
some other guys
842
00:41:28,010 --> 00:41:30,015
-so you can feel it again?
-No, no. Of course not.
843
00:41:30,017 --> 00:41:32,007
I still want you, only you.
844
00:41:32,009 --> 00:41:34,013
You want the version of me
you're comfortable with.
845
00:41:34,015 --> 00:41:36,001
The one I felt I still had to be
when we first met.
846
00:41:36,003 --> 00:41:37,013
But not who I am.
847
00:41:38,020 --> 00:41:40,008
I'm growing.
848
00:41:41,004 --> 00:41:42,022
But after almost
20 years together,
849
00:41:43,001 --> 00:41:44,006
I'm shocked you can't see
that the only thing
850
00:41:44,008 --> 00:41:47,018
that has changed here is you.
851
00:41:51,013 --> 00:41:54,011
♪ ("HARDEN MY HEART"
BY QUARTERFLASH PLAYING) ♪
852
00:41:55,002 --> 00:41:56,001
Why?
853
00:41:57,011 --> 00:42:02,006
-Why would you do that to me?
-Why would you do this to us?
854
00:42:02,008 --> 00:42:04,007
♪ Harden my heart ♪
855
00:42:04,009 --> 00:42:08,002
♪ I'm gonna swallow my tears ♪
856
00:42:08,004 --> 00:42:12,018
♪ I'm gonna harden my heart ♪
857
00:42:12,020 --> 00:42:18,001
♪ I'm gonna swallow my tears ♪
858
00:42:18,003 --> 00:42:21,003
♪ Harden my heart
Harden my heart ♪
859
00:42:23,014 --> 00:42:27,003
Obie. What are you doing
out here?
860
00:42:27,005 --> 00:42:29,005
I was looking for you.
I thought that you had left.
861
00:42:29,007 --> 00:42:31,003
Oh, Jeremy actually
asked me to...
862
00:42:33,007 --> 00:42:36,018
-You're upset.
-No.
863
00:42:36,020 --> 00:42:39,011
Is it because of what
I said earlier, about the play?
864
00:42:39,013 --> 00:42:42,009
I mean, I was in the middle
of speaking and you just
kinda left.
865
00:42:43,003 --> 00:42:44,013
I was just confused.
866
00:42:44,015 --> 00:42:47,015
'Cause you've been
so weird all night.
867
00:42:47,017 --> 00:42:50,000
And then suddenly
you're yourself again
868
00:42:50,002 --> 00:42:52,021
and then you ditch me. So...
869
00:42:55,005 --> 00:43:00,002
Okay, when I showed up tonight
and you liked how I looked,
870
00:43:00,004 --> 00:43:04,003
I thought maybe while you said
you wanted something different,
871
00:43:04,005 --> 00:43:06,018
you're actually
pretty comfortable with what
you already know.
872
00:43:06,020 --> 00:43:08,013
The perfect picture
by your side.
873
00:43:09,007 --> 00:43:10,016
But that's not me.
874
00:43:10,018 --> 00:43:14,012
I'm gonna say the wrong thing
and sweat through my clothes
875
00:43:14,014 --> 00:43:17,007
and eat in the middle
of the sidewalk. I--
876
00:43:17,009 --> 00:43:19,017
I want you to be who you are.
877
00:43:19,019 --> 00:43:23,000
All right, you understand
why I ended it with Julien.
878
00:43:23,002 --> 00:43:25,013
Yeah. You couldn't
find her anymore.
879
00:43:27,002 --> 00:43:29,016
But have you thought
about how you might
have contributed to that?
880
00:43:31,010 --> 00:43:34,002
That you didn't lose her
but she got lost behind you?
881
00:43:34,004 --> 00:43:36,004
I mean, it's really hard to date
the prince of New York
882
00:43:36,006 --> 00:43:38,011
when even he won't admit
that that's who he is.
883
00:43:52,014 --> 00:43:55,018
-Do you mind if I, um...
-Do the right thing?
884
00:43:57,008 --> 00:43:58,010
Never.
885
00:44:00,019 --> 00:44:01,021
Hey, Jules.
886
00:44:01,023 --> 00:44:03,017
-No, thank you.
-I wanna talk.
887
00:44:03,019 --> 00:44:06,003
All right, just really talk.
888
00:44:12,008 --> 00:44:14,018
I know, um...
889
00:44:16,016 --> 00:44:19,000
I know that I said that
I didn't like who you'd become.
890
00:44:19,020 --> 00:44:21,004
I, uh...
891
00:44:21,006 --> 00:44:24,016
I... I definitely should have...
892
00:44:24,018 --> 00:44:26,023
realized and accepted
some responsibility
893
00:44:27,001 --> 00:44:28,003
for my part of that.
894
00:44:29,020 --> 00:44:33,008
Maybe, I was more comfortable
not knowing, because...
895
00:44:34,019 --> 00:44:36,009
You know, if I had looked
too closely,
896
00:44:36,011 --> 00:44:37,019
I might see some of myself, too.
897
00:44:40,003 --> 00:44:41,020
I spent so much time...
898
00:44:41,022 --> 00:44:43,019
...putting forward
this idea of me, that I just...
899
00:44:45,020 --> 00:44:47,002
forgot who I was a little.
900
00:44:49,004 --> 00:44:52,006
Like my dad has.
Like everyone has, apparently.
901
00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:54,019
Except for her.
902
00:45:02,014 --> 00:45:03,016
It's no wonder you like her.
903
00:45:07,013 --> 00:45:11,012
I think-- You know,
I think that you deserve
904
00:45:11,014 --> 00:45:12,018
someone who sees you, who, um...
905
00:45:15,007 --> 00:45:16,010
sees all of you.
906
00:45:18,010 --> 00:45:20,012
And maybe I needed you
to walk away
907
00:45:20,014 --> 00:45:22,012
to see that I could
stand on my own.
908
00:45:45,001 --> 00:45:46,011
-Hello?
Reema? It's Wendy.
909
00:45:46,013 --> 00:45:49,009
I know I shouldn't
tell you this,
910
00:45:49,011 --> 00:45:51,017
but a tip came into
the Gossip Girl DMs
911
00:45:51,019 --> 00:45:54,015
a few weeks ago about
your husband's former boss,
912
00:45:54,017 --> 00:45:57,006
and Kate didn't want
to tell you. She thought
you might get upset.
913
00:45:57,008 --> 00:45:58,003
Oh, my God, really?
914
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:00,006
What was it?
915
00:46:00,008 --> 00:46:01,016
One of the escorts
he hired
916
00:46:01,018 --> 00:46:03,016
was a senior at Constance.
917
00:46:03,018 --> 00:46:06,005
I mean, do with
that what you will.
918
00:46:06,007 --> 00:46:07,017
But I just figured
you'd want to know
919
00:46:07,019 --> 00:46:10,012
in case you felt compelled
to expose the truth
920
00:46:10,014 --> 00:46:11,017
one final time.
921
00:46:11,019 --> 00:46:15,016
Might even get your
husband's old boss fired,
922
00:46:15,018 --> 00:46:16,022
get his job back.
923
00:46:17,023 --> 00:46:19,021
That's a lot to hear. Uh...
924
00:46:21,022 --> 00:46:23,013
I can't believe Kate
didn't tell me.
925
00:46:23,015 --> 00:46:24,016
Which is why I am.
926
00:46:24,018 --> 00:46:27,006
Listen, if you do want
to do something with it,
927
00:46:27,008 --> 00:46:28,019
remember the firewall.
928
00:46:28,021 --> 00:46:32,007
You're protected only at school
during school hours.
929
00:46:32,009 --> 00:46:34,017
We all have the password.
930
00:46:39,011 --> 00:46:41,000
♪ ("CLOUDBUSTING" BY KATE BUSH
PLAYING) ♪
931
00:46:41,002 --> 00:46:47,004
♪ I still dream
Of all the noise ♪
932
00:46:48,009 --> 00:46:49,014
Should we last-call him
before it's too late?
933
00:46:49,016 --> 00:46:54,015
Here.
934
00:46:55,015 --> 00:46:57,008
Maybe it's time
to call it a night?
935
00:46:57,010 --> 00:46:59,017
And why would I do that?
936
00:46:59,019 --> 00:47:01,011
Because you're a bit
out of control?
937
00:47:01,013 --> 00:47:02,012
That's what you like, isn't it?
To relinquish control.
938
00:47:02,014 --> 00:47:05,003
Or is that only with me.
I tell you what,
939
00:47:05,005 --> 00:47:07,003
let's ask some of your
other candidates?
940
00:47:07,005 --> 00:47:09,017
-Max, don't--
-We got-- We got Judd.
941
00:47:09,019 --> 00:47:14,006
Uh, Phuc? Robert?
Oh, he's cute.
942
00:47:14,008 --> 00:47:16,005
Is that-- Is that your phone?
943
00:47:16,007 --> 00:47:17,022
Why is that on your phone?
What is this?
944
00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:18,019
He's lying. It's his phone.
945
00:47:18,021 --> 00:47:20,021
He's just really fucked up
right now--
946
00:47:20,023 --> 00:47:22,007
Correct. Check.
947
00:47:22,009 --> 00:47:24,023
I am-- I'm outside
my boundaries now,
948
00:47:25,001 --> 00:47:26,008
just like both of you.
949
00:47:26,010 --> 00:47:28,020
In fact, I am so outside
that I don't know
950
00:47:28,022 --> 00:47:31,008
if you're gonna be able
to hear me when I say
951
00:47:31,010 --> 00:47:33,010
I'm not the only one
who fucked up here.
952
00:47:33,012 --> 00:47:34,019
You fucked up, too.
953
00:47:34,021 --> 00:47:37,013
You fucked me.
And you wanted to.
954
00:47:37,015 --> 00:47:40,022
God, come on, it is time
that we all stopped hiding
955
00:47:41,000 --> 00:47:42,018
and started being
who we really are, right?
956
00:47:42,020 --> 00:47:46,008
Right? Okay, no more lies.
Only truths. Okay.
957
00:47:46,010 --> 00:47:50,005
So I will go first as
the only truth-teller here.
958
00:47:50,007 --> 00:47:53,019
You guys, you just, you don't
do it for each other anymore.
959
00:47:53,021 --> 00:47:56,012
You just do me.
But you can't have me.
960
00:47:56,014 --> 00:47:58,014
Nobody can have me.
961
00:47:58,016 --> 00:48:02,017
I am not even here. I am gone.
And end fucking scene.
962
00:48:02,019 --> 00:48:06,009
♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING
IN BACKGROUND) ♪
963
00:48:06,011 --> 00:48:08,020
♪ The sun is coming out ♪
964
00:48:20,002 --> 00:48:23,006
-Where's Lola?
-I sent her home.
965
00:48:23,008 --> 00:48:26,000
-Oh, to your pied-affair?
Cute.
966
00:48:26,002 --> 00:48:28,013
And no. To her own apartment.
967
00:48:29,016 --> 00:48:32,011
You know, when you were a kid,
968
00:48:32,013 --> 00:48:35,011
I wanted you to feel like you
were the only woman in my life.
969
00:48:36,003 --> 00:48:36,023
Because you are.
970
00:48:38,012 --> 00:48:39,009
So I made a choice
971
00:48:39,011 --> 00:48:42,017
that I would always keep
my dating life private.
972
00:48:42,019 --> 00:48:46,020
And I think I forgot
that you grew up
973
00:48:46,022 --> 00:48:48,003
and can handle the truth.
974
00:48:50,002 --> 00:48:51,010
I couldn't be more sorry.
975
00:48:53,006 --> 00:48:54,020
I never want to lie
to you again.
976
00:48:54,022 --> 00:48:58,018
I think that we can both
agree to do better.
977
00:48:58,020 --> 00:49:00,016
That we can live our lives
more honestly,
978
00:49:00,018 --> 00:49:02,011
with ourselves
and with each other.
979
00:49:09,002 --> 00:49:10,003
I'd really like to meet her.
980
00:49:20,006 --> 00:49:22,006
So does the Four Block Rule
981
00:49:22,008 --> 00:49:24,004
still apply on
the Upper West Side?
982
00:49:24,006 --> 00:49:26,016
I guess that depends on
the subject being discussed.
983
00:49:27,014 --> 00:49:29,001
-What if I whisper it?
-No promises.
984
00:49:31,004 --> 00:49:35,004
I'd really like to kiss you
right now.
985
00:50:03,021 --> 00:50:05,010
You put on a real show tonight.
986
00:50:08,022 --> 00:50:10,000
There's another one
tomorrow, I'm sure.
987
00:50:13,006 --> 00:50:14,020
I don't appreciate being used.
988
00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:17,023
I had no idea it would
blow up like that.
989
00:50:19,011 --> 00:50:21,012
What did you think would happen?
990
00:50:21,014 --> 00:50:23,015
You know, that my dads
would realize
991
00:50:23,017 --> 00:50:25,012
that they were being stupid
and just talk?
992
00:50:25,014 --> 00:50:26,019
But I fucked it up.
993
00:50:26,021 --> 00:50:28,015
No, it would have
come out eventually.
994
00:50:29,003 --> 00:50:30,021
It always does.
995
00:50:30,023 --> 00:50:32,018
Yeah, I know.
But I just didn't realize
996
00:50:32,020 --> 00:50:34,015
it would hurt this fucking much
when it did.
997
00:50:47,016 --> 00:50:49,003
♪ ("HARDLINE"
BY JULIEN BAKER PLAYING) ♪
998
00:50:49,005 --> 00:50:52,004
You know why
the play's the thing?
999
00:50:54,010 --> 00:50:57,022
Because it holds up a mirror
to our own lives.
1000
00:51:04,016 --> 00:51:07,005
-♪ Blacked out on a weekday ♪
1001
00:51:07,007 --> 00:51:10,020
Sometimes it's about staying
true to your private self.
1002
00:51:10,022 --> 00:51:15,006
♪ Still something
That I'm trying to avoid ♪
1003
00:51:16,018 --> 00:51:20,011
Or leaving your
public self behind.
1004
00:51:20,013 --> 00:51:26,017
♪ Start asking for forgiveness
In advance ♪
1005
00:51:26,019 --> 00:51:30,022
♪ All the future things
I will destroy ♪
1006
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:34,011
Sometimes,
it's about confronting
a painful reality...
1007
00:51:36,004 --> 00:51:40,015
♪ That way I can
Ruin everything ♪
1008
00:51:40,017 --> 00:51:43,022
...or sublimating
your deepest fantasies.
1009
00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,018
♪ When I do, you don't
Get to act surprised ♪
1010
00:51:46,020 --> 00:51:47,021
Hi.
1011
00:51:48,010 --> 00:51:49,011
Did you like it?
1012
00:51:51,017 --> 00:51:52,008
♪ When it finally ♪
1013
00:51:52,010 --> 00:51:54,004
I didn't...
1014
00:51:55,019 --> 00:51:57,014
not like it.
1015
00:51:59,015 --> 00:52:02,011
But I never want
to do it again. Do you?
1016
00:52:03,001 --> 00:52:03,004
Of course not.
1017
00:52:06,019 --> 00:52:10,009
-I'm sorry.
-I'm sorry, too.
1018
00:52:10,011 --> 00:52:12,020
♪ Medicine and poison ♪
1019
00:52:13,020 --> 00:52:16,002
♪ Take what
I can get away with ♪
1020
00:52:16,004 --> 00:52:18,020
Isn't it all
a performance, anyway?
1021
00:52:20,019 --> 00:52:21,003
It's my own fault.
1022
00:52:23,015 --> 00:52:25,007
When I got that tip
about George's boss,
1023
00:52:25,009 --> 00:52:27,016
I couldn't resist posting it.
1024
00:52:27,018 --> 00:52:30,001
But at least now you know
your firewall didn't work.
1025
00:52:30,003 --> 00:52:31,016
It could've happened
to any of us.
1026
00:52:31,018 --> 00:52:33,021
We're so sorry it was you.
1027
00:52:33,023 --> 00:52:35,020
And don't worry, I didn't crack
during the interrogation.
1028
00:52:35,022 --> 00:52:37,003
Your identities are safe.
1029
00:52:38,019 --> 00:52:39,003
I'll miss you both.
1030
00:52:47,017 --> 00:52:50,008
Did you turn
the firewall back on?
1031
00:52:50,010 --> 00:52:53,015
-God. Why do I feel so terrible?
-We didn't have a choice.
1032
00:52:53,017 --> 00:52:55,002
It was her or us.
1033
00:52:55,004 --> 00:52:58,001
And now, we don't have
to be nervous anymore.
1034
00:52:58,003 --> 00:53:00,006
Wendy's contacts at Horace Mann
and Dalton
1035
00:53:00,008 --> 00:53:02,010
confirmed they'd start
sending in tips, too.
1036
00:53:02,012 --> 00:53:04,008
So did mine
at Nightingale and Spence.
1037
00:53:04,010 --> 00:53:06,015
Which means Gossip Girl's
gone citywide.
1038
00:53:06,017 --> 00:53:08,009
The target's off our back.
1039
00:53:08,011 --> 00:53:10,019
And impossible to trace.
Bigger than ever.
1040
00:53:12,001 --> 00:53:14,014
She used the tip.
We didn't make her.
1041
00:53:15,004 --> 00:53:15,005
Didn't we, though?
1042
00:53:16,004 --> 00:53:19,002
♪ ("ROYL" BY CHLOE X HALLE
PLAYING) ♪
1043
00:53:19,004 --> 00:53:22,017
♪ Could be paradise
Never know till you try ♪
1044
00:53:22,019 --> 00:53:23,017
Yet no costume can conceal
1045
00:53:23,019 --> 00:53:26,006
what you don't want me to see.
1046
00:53:26,008 --> 00:53:28,004
Sooner or later,
the clothes come off,
1047
00:53:28,006 --> 00:53:33,014
the makeup washes away
and the real you emerges.
1048
00:53:33,016 --> 00:53:38,008
Your secrets, your sins,
your truths, your lies.
1049
00:53:38,010 --> 00:53:41,005
-Hi. Where have you been?
-It's story time!
1050
00:53:41,007 --> 00:53:42,005
Peak posting hour
is about to strike.
1051
00:53:44,019 --> 00:53:46,005
I left my phone at home.
1052
00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:52,012
Um... Okay. No one panic.
1053
00:53:52,014 --> 00:53:53,019
I'll log in on my phone.
1054
00:53:53,021 --> 00:53:54,022
And we can download
your presets.
1055
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:58,002
-And we can figure it out--
-I left it intentionally.
1056
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:00,007
Consider me offline today.
1057
00:54:03,018 --> 00:54:06,006
Okay, you tried. But Zoya's
clearly not playing along.
1058
00:54:06,008 --> 00:54:09,008
It's time that we reinstate
order as it once was.
1059
00:54:09,010 --> 00:54:10,005
And that means JC on top, alone.
1060
00:54:12,009 --> 00:54:15,005
Oh! That Buffal-ho needs to go.
1061
00:54:16,014 --> 00:54:22,017
I have intel. If we used it,
Little Z would be sistory.
1062
00:54:23,004 --> 00:54:23,009
Dites-moi.
1063
00:54:25,015 --> 00:54:27,003
If they don't start
a war themselves,
1064
00:54:27,005 --> 00:54:28,015
we'll just have to
start one for them.
1065
00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:31,008
All the world
may be a stage,
1066
00:54:31,010 --> 00:54:35,023
but on the Upper East Side,
the play doesn't matter.
1067
00:54:36,018 --> 00:54:38,018
It's all in the execution.
1068
00:54:39,008 --> 00:54:42,008
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
1069
00:54:42,010 --> 00:54:46,006
♪ Won't you get on my wave
Won't you get on my wave now ♪
79473
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