All language subtitles for Go Ask Alice (1973) - Full Movie - w- Jamie Smith-Jackson, William Shatner, Andy Griffith, Ruth Roman, Wendall Burton, Ayn Ruymen, Julie Adams

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:47,229 --> 00:00:48,292 Hello diary, 2 00:00:48,818 --> 00:00:50,256 my name is Alice. 3 00:00:51,655 --> 00:00:56,148 I guess I'm buying you because I feel that at last I have something worthwhile to say, 4 00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:59,368 and since we moved and I'm starting a new school, 5 00:01:00,514 --> 00:01:03,263 it's even more important that I have some place to be me, 6 00:01:03,361 --> 00:01:05,036 to say what I really think, 7 00:01:05,522 --> 00:01:08,728 and not to worry about how it sounds to anyone else. 8 00:01:09,850 --> 00:01:12,087 Dad seems happy about his new teaching job. 9 00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:16,063 I guess being an assistant dean is a big promotion. 10 00:01:16,263 --> 00:01:18,358 Mom loves the new house. 11 00:01:18,558 --> 00:01:20,317 And of course, 12 00:01:20,517 --> 00:01:23,796 Tim has a couple of friends already. 13 00:01:23,996 --> 00:01:27,549 I just hope that I can make a fresh start. 14 00:01:27,749 --> 00:01:30,988 Just got to keep my weight down so all my new clothes will fit, 15 00:01:31,188 --> 00:01:34,868 and I've got to be more outgoing. 16 00:01:35,068 --> 00:01:38,341 Maybe I could even give a party here... 17 00:01:38,541 --> 00:01:40,533 I brought you some more hangers. 18 00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,396 Oh, Alice! 19 00:01:42,596 --> 00:01:45,469 You had time to try all of your clothes twice probably three times, 20 00:01:45,669 --> 00:01:46,973 don't you wanna put them all away now, 21 00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,316 so you'll be ready for tomorrow? 22 00:01:48,516 --> 00:01:50,668 I just can't decide what to wear... 23 00:01:50,868 --> 00:01:52,564 Oh, I think that looks very nice. 24 00:01:52,764 --> 00:01:55,037 Yeah, but supposing everybody goes in blue jeans, 25 00:01:55,237 --> 00:01:58,681 I mean... you want me to look like a total misfit? 26 00:01:58,881 --> 00:02:01,873 I mean after all you're the one that's been after me to stop being a drag... 27 00:02:02,073 --> 00:02:03,962 I never called you a drag. 28 00:02:04,162 --> 00:02:06,968 Didn't have to, showed in your eyes... 29 00:02:07,168 --> 00:02:09,401 It was because of your attitude, honey. 30 00:02:09,601 --> 00:02:12,106 Seems so unfeeling and unlike you. 31 00:02:12,306 --> 00:02:13,329 I mean, even on last night, 32 00:02:13,529 --> 00:02:17,720 not letting old friends like Bobby and Sharon come around to say goodbye. 33 00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:21,329 How are three people supposed to have a party? 34 00:02:23,663 --> 00:02:27,791 - Is that what it's all about? - It's that what it's all about. 35 00:02:27,991 --> 00:02:31,686 The way you've been acting all last time? 36 00:02:31,886 --> 00:02:35,321 Is that because Sharon got a boyfriend? 37 00:02:41,615 --> 00:02:44,271 Oh, honey... 38 00:02:44,471 --> 00:02:48,447 Honey, I know this is a very difficult time for you, but... 39 00:02:48,647 --> 00:02:51,480 it can be a wonderful time too. 40 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:53,503 Best time of your life. 41 00:02:53,703 --> 00:02:54,726 Oh, I don't care. 42 00:02:54,926 --> 00:02:56,060 You will. 43 00:02:56,260 --> 00:03:00,623 You will as you mature, as you... as you feel your body changing... 44 00:03:00,823 --> 00:03:04,519 and you know it's been hormones coming to your bloodstream. 45 00:03:04,719 --> 00:03:06,959 Nothing to be ashamed of sweetheart. 46 00:03:07,159 --> 00:03:08,846 Or afraid of. 47 00:03:09,046 --> 00:03:13,614 Yeah... what about when the hormones get into the boys bloodstream? 48 00:03:13,814 --> 00:03:17,983 Slap! Instant sex maniacs. 49 00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:22,782 Or didn't they use to get frustrated in the good old days? 50 00:03:22,982 --> 00:03:25,391 What do you do about that? 51 00:03:25,591 --> 00:03:27,887 Well, uh, of course, uhm... 52 00:03:28,087 --> 00:03:32,927 I mean, boys do have a stronger sex drive as you said, but... 53 00:03:33,127 --> 00:03:37,934 you have to realize, you have to be aware of your own desires too, dear. 54 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:41,102 You already gave me the sex lection, remember? 55 00:03:41,302 --> 00:03:44,647 Well honey, it's something that we can talk about. 56 00:03:44,847 --> 00:03:46,275 - Anytime. - Yeah... 57 00:03:46,475 --> 00:03:49,318 Sure, mom. 58 00:03:51,518 --> 00:03:55,675 Anytime? I remember when I could talk that way. 59 00:03:55,875 --> 00:03:58,995 Now it's as if we speak different languages. 60 00:03:59,195 --> 00:04:01,602 Or maybe she's just as lost with words as I am, 61 00:04:01,802 --> 00:04:04,090 and we're both just groping around unable to say... 62 00:04:04,290 --> 00:04:07,482 what we really mean to each other. 63 00:04:07,682 --> 00:04:13,873 Sometimes I just wish I could tell my mother I'm afraid! 64 00:04:16,314 --> 00:04:19,091 One pill makes you larger... 65 00:04:19,291 --> 00:04:23,563 And one pill makes you small. 66 00:04:23,763 --> 00:04:28,019 And the ones that mother gives you... 67 00:04:28,219 --> 00:04:32,569 Don't do anything at all. 68 00:04:32,769 --> 00:04:36,202 Go ask Alice. 69 00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:41,747 When she's ten feet tall. 70 00:04:41,947 --> 00:04:46,066 And if you go chasing rabbits... 71 00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:50,858 And you know you're going to fall... 72 00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:55,084 Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar... 73 00:04:55,284 --> 00:04:59,867 Has given you the call. 74 00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:03,512 Call Alice. 75 00:05:03,712 --> 00:05:09,880 When she was just small. 76 00:05:10,080 --> 00:05:13,208 When the men on the chessboard... 77 00:05:13,408 --> 00:05:17,735 Get up and tell you where to go... 78 00:05:17,935 --> 00:05:22,233 And you've just had some kind of mushroom... 79 00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:26,912 And your mind is moving low... 80 00:05:27,112 --> 00:05:30,880 Go ask Alice! 81 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:35,884 I think she'll know. 82 00:05:36,084 --> 00:05:40,384 When logic and proportion... 83 00:05:40,584 --> 00:05:44,872 Have fallen sloppy dead... 84 00:05:45,072 --> 00:05:49,353 And the White Knight talking backwards... 85 00:05:49,553 --> 00:05:54,009 And the Red Queen's off with her head... 86 00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:57,539 Remember 87 00:05:57,739 --> 00:06:02,903 what the dormouse said, 88 00:06:03,103 --> 00:06:06,941 "Feed your head! 89 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:12,232 Feed your head". 90 00:06:18,681 --> 00:06:20,912 Congratulations, Alice! 91 00:06:21,112 --> 00:06:23,853 Clothes are all wrong. 92 00:06:27,192 --> 00:06:30,016 Now, students, do you understand everything we discussed today? 93 00:06:30,216 --> 00:06:34,607 You have your list of all the things that you need for the class test tomorrow. 94 00:06:34,807 --> 00:06:35,872 Any questions? 95 00:06:36,072 --> 00:06:38,864 Jan Meeker is passing out your assignments, your schedules. 96 00:06:39,064 --> 00:06:41,440 please be sure you have one before you go to lunch. 97 00:06:41,640 --> 00:06:45,033 And if there's any question I'd appreciate if you discuss it with me today. 98 00:06:45,233 --> 00:06:47,967 Don't forget the Student council election tomorrow. 99 00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:51,804 Anybody interested in campaign you better get busy! 100 00:07:02,752 --> 00:07:05,816 Are you going to the cafeteria? 101 00:07:06,016 --> 00:07:07,505 Yeah, where is it? 102 00:07:07,705 --> 00:07:08,936 Where the sign says. 103 00:07:09,136 --> 00:07:11,000 Cafeteria, are you kidding? 104 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:13,859 - What's in the bag, uh? - Oh no, oh! 105 00:07:14,713 --> 00:07:17,696 Guess it doesn't matter what I wear or what I say, 106 00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,248 whether I go to the cafeteria and eat all alone... 107 00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:24,312 or try to sit with some other creep or what. 108 00:07:24,512 --> 00:07:28,616 Maybe it's never going to matter. 109 00:07:28,816 --> 00:07:34,312 I'm not going to make it in school either. 110 00:07:34,512 --> 00:07:36,655 Double fries, jumbo malted. 111 00:07:39,639 --> 00:07:41,744 Well diary, I still have you... 112 00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:43,928 but what a lousy month it's been. 113 00:07:44,128 --> 00:07:48,976 I've gained 8 pound, my face is breaking out and... 114 00:07:49,176 --> 00:07:50,799 I think I've found a friend. 115 00:07:50,999 --> 00:07:53,153 Her name is Beth Baum. 116 00:07:53,353 --> 00:07:56,760 I've seen her around school and at a couple of other hamburger places. 117 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,698 We seem to have a lot in common, 118 00:07:58,898 --> 00:08:00,824 besides our weight problems. 119 00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:02,744 We're both kinda shy, 120 00:08:02,944 --> 00:08:05,633 We both feel older than most 15 year old. 121 00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,304 Now I'll have someone to walk with, 122 00:08:07,504 --> 00:08:10,137 to talk to in the cafeteria. 123 00:08:10,337 --> 00:08:12,159 I've decided to watch our figures... 124 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,008 even if nobody else does. 125 00:08:18,945 --> 00:08:21,959 Beth is super cool about not being popular, 126 00:08:22,159 --> 00:08:23,633 unlike me, 127 00:08:23,833 --> 00:08:28,344 but I'm afraid you have to be super smart to be that cool. 128 00:08:28,544 --> 00:08:31,912 Beth? 129 00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:35,249 - Bethy? - Huh? 130 00:08:35,449 --> 00:08:40,736 Do you suppose that girls like us ever get married? 131 00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:43,864 Married? Well, all I'm trying to do is accelerate... 132 00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,385 so that I can get out of high school... 133 00:08:45,585 --> 00:08:47,115 - and get into college. - No, I mean ever, like... 134 00:08:47,315 --> 00:08:49,233 you know, when we're older. 135 00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:52,032 Well, if I can get good in languages... 136 00:08:52,232 --> 00:08:54,615 I should be able to get a job that involves a lot of travels. 137 00:08:54,815 --> 00:08:58,048 Oh, Come on! Don't you ever want to get married? 138 00:08:58,248 --> 00:09:00,452 Yeah. 139 00:09:00,652 --> 00:09:06,319 I guess, only I have this sort of nightmare. 140 00:09:07,104 --> 00:09:09,161 It's pretty weird. 141 00:09:09,361 --> 00:09:11,664 I have some weird dreams, too. 142 00:09:11,864 --> 00:09:16,112 Well, my grandmother told me that if a Jewish boy... 143 00:09:16,312 --> 00:09:21,817 finds out that the girl he's marrying isn't a virgin... 144 00:09:22,017 --> 00:09:25,250 he can leave her right in the middle of the synagogue. 145 00:09:25,450 --> 00:09:32,265 Like... at the last minute. Just walk out in front of everybody. 146 00:09:32,465 --> 00:09:36,104 But, you're a virgin. I mean, aren't you? 147 00:09:36,304 --> 00:09:40,064 Well, now I am. 148 00:09:40,264 --> 00:09:44,456 But, in the dream, I'm just standing in front of the rabbi, 149 00:09:44,656 --> 00:09:50,584 in my beautiful gown, with everybody whispering, I'm not. 150 00:09:50,784 --> 00:09:53,392 But how can they prove it? 151 00:09:53,592 --> 00:09:58,532 - Some kind of examination, I guess. - At the wedding? 152 00:10:03,569 --> 00:10:06,169 I don't know. 153 00:10:06,369 --> 00:10:09,912 My grandmother never told me how they prove it. 154 00:10:10,112 --> 00:10:12,809 Maybe she was lying just to scare me. 155 00:10:13,009 --> 00:10:16,665 Wouldn't somebody in your family know? 156 00:10:16,865 --> 00:10:19,289 I can't ask them that! 157 00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:22,121 What would they think? 158 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:24,396 I know. 159 00:10:28,785 --> 00:10:30,993 Strange that Beth and I could talk so easily... 160 00:10:31,193 --> 00:10:33,392 and I can tell her all about my diary... 161 00:10:33,592 --> 00:10:35,687 and I am afraid to let my mother and father know... 162 00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:37,672 that I have one. 163 00:10:37,872 --> 00:10:40,248 Strange too how time went so slowly for Beth and I... 164 00:10:40,448 --> 00:10:42,337 before we met each other, 165 00:10:42,537 --> 00:10:45,402 and now that we're friends it's gone by so fast. 166 00:10:45,602 --> 00:10:47,965 The term was over before we knew it. 167 00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:52,203 pull up the water from the Nile... 168 00:10:52,403 --> 00:10:54,578 Maybe we're too dependent on each other... 169 00:10:54,778 --> 00:10:56,978 but what are best friends for? 170 00:10:57,178 --> 00:10:58,658 We both dreaded the end of the semester... 171 00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,795 because now Beth has to go away for the summer... 172 00:11:00,995 --> 00:11:05,355 to camp in Vermont, and I'm stuck here. 173 00:11:05,555 --> 00:11:07,578 At least Mom and Dad understand how lonely I will be... 174 00:11:07,778 --> 00:11:11,371 and they're going to let me make two long distance calls to her. 175 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:15,812 It's decent of them but it's still going to be a terrible summer. 176 00:11:30,019 --> 00:11:33,559 I've never been so bored in all my life. 177 00:11:35,674 --> 00:11:39,123 I just saw her with my best friend... 178 00:11:39,323 --> 00:11:42,683 Do you know what I mean? 179 00:11:42,883 --> 00:11:46,576 Do you know, know what I mean? 180 00:11:46,776 --> 00:11:50,474 Hey, uh... why don't you come in? 181 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:54,679 Hi, how are you? 182 00:11:54,879 --> 00:11:56,128 I didn't know you worked here. 183 00:11:56,328 --> 00:11:58,383 Yeah, all summer. 184 00:11:58,583 --> 00:11:59,923 Do you wanna look around? 185 00:12:00,123 --> 00:12:01,871 Yeah! 186 00:12:06,411 --> 00:12:11,835 Makes me wanna ask my Dad for some more money for clothes. 187 00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:15,347 Uh, your dad's kinda big around here. 188 00:12:15,547 --> 00:12:17,683 You mean because of his lectures? 189 00:12:17,883 --> 00:12:23,565 Yeah, I hear his name, you know, all over the place. 190 00:12:23,765 --> 00:12:27,707 Hmm, my folks might be going away this weekend to a party... 191 00:12:27,907 --> 00:12:31,156 and I thought I'd have one of my own. 192 00:12:31,356 --> 00:12:33,322 Are you free? 193 00:12:34,932 --> 00:12:36,300 Am I free? 194 00:12:36,500 --> 00:12:39,147 Wow, am I free! 195 00:12:46,851 --> 00:12:48,292 Some of these guys must be college age, 196 00:12:48,492 --> 00:12:50,516 I've never seen them around our school. 197 00:12:50,716 --> 00:12:53,963 I guess they're always nice as Chris when you get to know them. 198 00:12:54,163 --> 00:12:55,571 I just hope some of the kids... 199 00:12:55,771 --> 00:12:59,188 don't start that number about dope or drinking. 200 00:12:59,388 --> 00:13:01,508 I have to admit I've never tried it... 201 00:13:01,708 --> 00:13:02,555 or take it... 202 00:13:02,755 --> 00:13:04,492 - Alright! - Button, button. 203 00:13:04,692 --> 00:13:06,764 Button, button, who's got the button? 204 00:13:06,964 --> 00:13:10,316 Button, button, who's got the button? 205 00:13:10,516 --> 00:13:15,124 Don't be greedy! Babies first! 206 00:13:15,324 --> 00:13:19,131 Oh, Yeah! 207 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:20,443 - Button, button! - Thank you! 208 00:13:20,643 --> 00:13:22,459 Button, button! 209 00:13:22,659 --> 00:13:24,052 Button, button! 210 00:13:24,252 --> 00:13:26,735 - Ready to do it? - Hmm. 211 00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:38,250 Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune. 212 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:44,658 Something to make us all happy. 213 00:13:44,858 --> 00:13:50,107 Do anything, take us out of this gloom... 214 00:13:50,307 --> 00:13:53,306 Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy... 215 00:13:53,506 --> 00:13:56,171 Hey, stop playing that song! 216 00:13:58,874 --> 00:14:01,180 And now we have our first winner of the... 217 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,779 What's happening? 218 00:14:05,979 --> 00:14:10,899 Don't worry, you just relax! 219 00:14:11,099 --> 00:14:13,600 I feel really strange, I feel... 220 00:14:16,858 --> 00:14:18,042 feel really sick! 221 00:14:18,242 --> 00:14:22,577 Now, well, I'm here, hey? Just let it happen. 222 00:14:39,410 --> 00:14:43,306 - Are they trying to poison me? - No! No, they aren't. 223 00:14:43,506 --> 00:14:48,586 Enjoy it! You're going to have a beautiful trip, I promise. 224 00:14:48,786 --> 00:14:50,698 That's why I didn't get any, 225 00:14:50,898 --> 00:14:53,671 so that I could take care of you. 226 00:14:58,649 --> 00:15:03,186 At... At first I felt totally cut off from everyone, 227 00:15:03,386 --> 00:15:06,747 thought I was dying very slowly! 228 00:15:06,947 --> 00:15:11,825 I knew that no one in the world outside me could help. 229 00:15:12,025 --> 00:15:14,001 It was so frightening... 230 00:15:14,201 --> 00:15:18,722 ...that I wanted to die. 231 00:15:18,922 --> 00:15:21,074 Then the ugliness left. 232 00:15:21,274 --> 00:15:26,817 But everything... anything became new and beautiful. 233 00:15:30,330 --> 00:15:33,178 After that I felt that I found the perfect, 234 00:15:33,378 --> 00:15:36,322 true and original language. 235 00:15:36,522 --> 00:15:42,945 My mind seemed to possess all the wisdom, knowledge of the ages. 236 00:15:43,145 --> 00:15:48,402 There were no words adequate to explain it to anyone. 237 00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:52,570 I... for the first time in my life, I felt 238 00:15:52,770 --> 00:15:56,265 beautiful, free and non antipathic. 239 00:15:59,330 --> 00:16:04,738 Now that it's over I'm not sure whether I'm ashamed or elated. 240 00:16:04,938 --> 00:16:06,889 I guess I'm glad they did it to me because... 241 00:16:07,089 --> 00:16:10,561 I can honestly say it wasn't my decision. 242 00:16:10,761 --> 00:16:14,106 I'll always remember that feeling, but it's over. 243 00:16:14,306 --> 00:16:19,770 I've had the experience now and I'll never do it again. 244 00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:23,820 Phone! 245 00:16:24,020 --> 00:16:25,203 Are you awake? 246 00:16:25,403 --> 00:16:27,419 It's almost noon! 247 00:16:27,619 --> 00:16:29,898 It's... it's that boy, Ritchie, 248 00:16:30,098 --> 00:16:33,322 who brought you off from the party last night. 249 00:16:33,522 --> 00:16:37,365 You want to take it or you want me to have him call you back? 250 00:16:39,322 --> 00:16:42,298 Alice? 251 00:16:42,498 --> 00:16:45,674 Yeah... Yeah... I'll take it. 252 00:16:48,003 --> 00:16:49,578 The summer's getting pretty skitzy now: 253 00:16:49,778 --> 00:16:51,570 tripping with Richie at night, 254 00:16:51,770 --> 00:16:53,769 playing it straight in the daytime. 255 00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:57,907 Mom and Dad don't suspect anything as far as drugs go, of course. 256 00:16:58,107 --> 00:17:00,367 But they're nagging about my hair and 257 00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:03,376 clothes and attitude enough to drive me crazy. 258 00:17:03,576 --> 00:17:06,370 That, plus my monthly pregnancy scare makes me "borrow"... 259 00:17:06,570 --> 00:17:09,786 a lot of Mom and Dad's tranquilizers but they never miss them. 260 00:17:09,986 --> 00:17:14,962 Richie says, "Parents always know there's missing booze but never pills or cash. 261 00:17:15,162 --> 00:17:18,039 He says, "that shows where their heads are at". 262 00:17:19,385 --> 00:17:21,772 Well Diary, school has finally started again. 263 00:17:21,972 --> 00:17:25,506 It's really weird how the same place that I hated last time... 264 00:17:25,706 --> 00:17:27,642 has become my sanctuary this time. 265 00:17:27,842 --> 00:17:30,323 I'm at 103 lbs and feeling great. 266 00:17:30,523 --> 00:17:33,418 Whenever I get hungry or tired I just pop a benny. 267 00:17:33,618 --> 00:17:35,611 Ritchie even gives me this stuff to have when for when I am alone... 268 00:17:35,811 --> 00:17:36,826 ...or want to turn on. 269 00:17:37,026 --> 00:17:39,802 Isn't that nice? 270 00:17:43,002 --> 00:17:45,298 Alice? 271 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,386 Ah, there you are. 272 00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:50,866 I almost didn't recognize you! 273 00:17:51,066 --> 00:17:53,074 Hey, listen, I'm sorry I didn't call you back on Saturday... 274 00:17:53,274 --> 00:17:57,499 ...it was just that, uh, this weekend was really wild! 275 00:17:57,699 --> 00:17:59,515 Like... all three weeks I've been home! 276 00:17:59,715 --> 00:18:01,858 Three weeks? Wow. 277 00:18:02,058 --> 00:18:03,745 I didn't realize it's been that long! 278 00:18:03,945 --> 00:18:07,713 It's just that I've been really busy and, well, 279 00:18:07,913 --> 00:18:09,906 I've got an old man now. 280 00:18:10,106 --> 00:18:12,435 Yeah, well, I've met somebody too. 281 00:18:12,635 --> 00:18:14,994 His name is Bud. 282 00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:18,563 He goes to college back East. 283 00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:22,075 So, I guess we won't be able to see each other except on weekends and... 284 00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:26,315 holidays and things, you know... 285 00:18:26,515 --> 00:18:29,266 but we decided it was worth the wait. 286 00:18:29,466 --> 00:18:33,674 Yeah, well, still waiting, uh? 287 00:18:33,874 --> 00:18:36,490 Well, you know... our families and things... 288 00:18:36,690 --> 00:18:39,019 Hey, Alice, we go for lunch? 289 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,593 Yeah, I'll be right there. 290 00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:43,890 Hey, listen, I gotta go OK? I'll see you around. 291 00:18:44,090 --> 00:18:47,610 Yeah, well, I'd really like to you to meet him sometimes if you can. 292 00:18:47,810 --> 00:18:51,530 Sure, anytime, just call! 293 00:18:51,730 --> 00:18:54,834 Sure. 294 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:58,318 How can you tell somebody you have outgrown them? 295 00:19:06,322 --> 00:19:09,618 Sometimes I wish every straight kid could be turned on like I was, 296 00:19:09,818 --> 00:19:11,090 Just once. 297 00:19:11,290 --> 00:19:13,443 Feel that first beautiful lift... 298 00:19:13,643 --> 00:19:17,745 and they'd find out what they're missing. And join the party, 299 00:19:17,945 --> 00:19:20,610 Instead of getting left out like Beth. 300 00:19:20,810 --> 00:19:22,627 I thought about inviting her but... 301 00:19:22,827 --> 00:19:27,379 ...she would have got really uptight when we started doing this stuff. 302 00:19:27,579 --> 00:19:31,266 Happy birthday Alice! 303 00:19:31,466 --> 00:19:35,001 Hey man, your brother's on fire! 304 00:19:35,201 --> 00:19:39,472 Stand up, stand up, stand up and take your praise... 305 00:19:39,672 --> 00:19:41,792 ...your praise. stand up! 306 00:19:41,992 --> 00:19:43,768 She can't! 307 00:19:52,616 --> 00:19:54,568 Don't you want me to blow out my candles? 308 00:19:54,768 --> 00:19:57,991 Well, sure he wants you to blow out the candles! 309 00:19:58,191 --> 00:19:59,848 Come on kids! 310 00:20:00,048 --> 00:20:03,368 I mean it's not old fashion to celebrate a birthday these days, is it? 311 00:20:03,568 --> 00:20:05,767 Listen, we're really dying for something sweet. 312 00:20:05,967 --> 00:20:09,480 Yeah, we crave sweets! 313 00:20:09,680 --> 00:20:12,839 Hey you see honey birthday cakes aren't so square! 314 00:20:13,039 --> 00:20:16,303 They're round. 315 00:20:16,503 --> 00:20:19,789 Alice, make your wish, this year we break out the champagne! 316 00:20:25,328 --> 00:20:28,112 Can you believe it? Stoned out of my mind and... 317 00:20:28,312 --> 00:20:30,760 my own parents can't tell difference. 318 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:32,879 How did they get to the age they are? 319 00:20:33,079 --> 00:20:37,488 Who's more out of it, them, or us? 320 00:20:37,688 --> 00:20:39,704 Having a wonderful time... 321 00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:41,600 Wish you were here, 322 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,156 I could tell you a thing or two. 323 00:21:02,871 --> 00:21:04,709 Come on you guys, it's time to eat. 324 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:19,509 Think fast! Hey, good catch! 325 00:21:21,232 --> 00:21:25,703 I though I'd bring these tests over to you. 326 00:21:25,903 --> 00:21:27,951 Good! Come and meet my family. 327 00:21:28,151 --> 00:21:29,239 Bobby! 328 00:21:29,439 --> 00:21:31,232 - John Clements. - Hi. 329 00:21:31,432 --> 00:21:33,176 - Oh, how do you do? - My slave driven T.A. 330 00:21:33,376 --> 00:21:35,487 - Pretty good. Nice to meet you. - Are you the Chaucer assistant? 331 00:21:35,687 --> 00:21:38,640 Ah no, I'm in contemporary Lit, my Middle English stinks. 332 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,408 - And this is Big Tim. - Hi. 333 00:21:40,608 --> 00:21:43,424 Our star end. There's Alice over there! 334 00:21:43,624 --> 00:21:45,983 Alice? That used to be Alice. Honey, isn't that Alice? 335 00:21:46,183 --> 00:21:48,959 I'm sure that's Alice, she's been sleeping in Alice's room lately. 336 00:21:49,159 --> 00:21:50,553 Well, the feet look familiar... 337 00:21:50,753 --> 00:21:52,824 ...but the hair kind of hides everything else. 338 00:21:53,024 --> 00:21:54,696 If you weren't so uptight about yourselves... 339 00:21:54,896 --> 00:21:56,025 you wouldn't be bugging me all the time. 340 00:21:56,225 --> 00:21:57,607 Honey, that's no way to speak to your mother. 341 00:21:57,807 --> 00:22:02,496 OK, OK, Joel, how about staying for some cold ham and potato salad? 342 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:05,759 Uh, sure, if I'm not intruding, uh, I... 343 00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:07,775 No, no, no, listen. 344 00:22:07,975 --> 00:22:10,697 If war breaks out again between the generations, 345 00:22:10,897 --> 00:22:14,279 you can referee, did you bring your striped shirt and whistle? 346 00:22:18,175 --> 00:22:19,623 He eats more than I do! 347 00:22:19,823 --> 00:22:22,008 Uh, Tim is our Refuse Department. 348 00:22:22,208 --> 00:22:23,671 If they gave a scholarship for gluttony, 349 00:22:23,871 --> 00:22:25,178 Tim would be a shoo-in. 350 00:22:26,647 --> 00:22:29,368 That's terrible. 351 00:22:29,568 --> 00:22:33,016 What do you know about that scholarship renewal for Ritchie, uh, 352 00:22:33,216 --> 00:22:34,713 what's his name, Alice's friend, 353 00:22:34,913 --> 00:22:36,978 he's in your section, isn't he? 354 00:22:37,178 --> 00:22:41,473 Oh, yeah, uhm, he started up pretty good but he's been slipping a lot lately. 355 00:22:41,673 --> 00:22:44,577 He got top grades on his papers, I saw them. 356 00:22:44,777 --> 00:22:46,369 Well, yeah, he's a smart guy, alright, 357 00:22:46,569 --> 00:22:50,810 but, uhm, well he's got a lot of work that's overdue. 358 00:22:51,010 --> 00:22:53,890 He's not gonna lose his scholarship, is he? 359 00:22:58,393 --> 00:23:00,523 Does he care? 360 00:23:09,322 --> 00:23:11,481 Wish Ritchie were here to straighten 'em out, 361 00:23:11,681 --> 00:23:15,506 Then I wouldn't have to zonk myself to get through moments like this. 362 00:23:15,706 --> 00:23:18,163 Between the downs at home and the uppers at school, 363 00:23:18,363 --> 00:23:23,075 to get over the downs I'm popping more pills than I can keep track of. 364 00:23:32,258 --> 00:23:33,922 Did you hear about Bill getting busted? 365 00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:36,849 - Yeah, yeah. - For possession and dealing. 366 00:23:37,049 --> 00:23:40,354 I heard all about it, He's pushing at the junior high. 367 00:23:40,554 --> 00:23:43,634 - Junior high? - What... what if he's, uhm... 368 00:23:43,834 --> 00:23:45,770 ...says things about his connections? 369 00:23:45,970 --> 00:23:50,177 Now, look ladies, two more facts of life: 370 00:23:50,377 --> 00:23:53,578 one, he's not gonna say anything. 371 00:23:53,778 --> 00:23:56,264 Nobody's gonna say anything. 372 00:23:56,464 --> 00:24:00,049 Two, anybody wants to pay for a high, 373 00:24:00,249 --> 00:24:02,351 is gonna find a source. 374 00:24:02,551 --> 00:24:07,376 Right? So, junior high or senior high, somebody's gonna make the bread. 375 00:24:07,576 --> 00:24:10,801 Might as well be us, baby! 376 00:24:11,001 --> 00:24:15,015 It's like penny candy for these pre-meds to get this stuff! 377 00:24:15,215 --> 00:24:17,911 The whole scene, whatever anyone's bag is... 378 00:24:18,111 --> 00:24:21,759 all they want. 379 00:24:21,959 --> 00:24:24,911 Yeah, we don't have the time to push, Ritchie baby. 380 00:24:25,111 --> 00:24:28,369 Yeah but, you know, in schools, and in our car, 381 00:24:28,569 --> 00:24:31,704 and, you know, it's taking a chance, isn't it? 382 00:24:31,904 --> 00:24:33,968 It's worth taking the chance! 383 00:24:34,168 --> 00:24:37,325 Except for the labs we've missed... 384 00:24:37,525 --> 00:24:44,261 I just don't understand why you're into this pushing all of a sudden... 385 00:24:44,461 --> 00:24:49,386 - don't you work on weekends anymore? - Now, don't get in an uproar... 386 00:24:53,861 --> 00:24:57,645 What comes from too much talk, and not enough smoke? 387 00:24:57,845 --> 00:25:00,253 Alice and I could, uhm... 388 00:25:00,453 --> 00:25:03,901 do Bill's number at the junior high. 389 00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:06,852 Bill is pushing mostly pills. 390 00:25:09,573 --> 00:25:12,109 We could use that money now, couldn't we, Ritchie? 391 00:25:12,309 --> 00:25:14,157 Gonna miss it! 392 00:25:14,357 --> 00:25:18,381 Well, I think I could pay it back to you. 393 00:25:18,581 --> 00:25:21,308 You're good to me. 394 00:25:21,508 --> 00:25:24,150 Wow! 395 00:25:24,350 --> 00:25:27,630 Would you do that for me? 396 00:25:27,830 --> 00:25:31,998 Sure. I'd do anything. 397 00:25:32,198 --> 00:25:34,837 You haven't had any speed yet, have you? 398 00:25:35,037 --> 00:25:36,933 No. 399 00:25:39,293 --> 00:25:41,210 Well... 400 00:25:41,410 --> 00:25:44,221 I want some good news. 401 00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,201 I'm with Ritchie and we're both high. 402 00:25:53,401 --> 00:25:55,520 It's a really wild feeling. 403 00:25:55,720 --> 00:25:57,377 But when we're not high, 404 00:25:57,577 --> 00:25:59,212 he seems to forget about me. 405 00:25:59,412 --> 00:26:02,076 He... he never even touches me then. 406 00:26:02,276 --> 00:26:04,492 Sometimes I find myself wondering, 407 00:26:04,692 --> 00:26:07,484 what it... what it's like without dope. 408 00:26:07,684 --> 00:26:10,194 Just feeling things straight. 409 00:26:17,884 --> 00:26:19,660 I thought you'd be older! 410 00:26:19,860 --> 00:26:22,979 I'm pushing at the grade school. 411 00:26:44,092 --> 00:26:46,539 Are these yours? 412 00:26:46,739 --> 00:26:49,070 No. 413 00:26:50,716 --> 00:26:52,828 Somebody just gave them to me. 414 00:26:53,028 --> 00:26:54,161 I didn't even want 'em. 415 00:26:54,361 --> 00:26:55,381 Who's it, Ritchie? 416 00:26:55,581 --> 00:26:57,645 Is this the reason for his slump at school? 417 00:26:57,845 --> 00:26:59,180 And... and.. and... your peculiar? 418 00:26:59,380 --> 00:27:02,966 The reason for his slump is because he's out on his feet. 419 00:27:03,166 --> 00:27:06,510 Ritchie has two night jobs, and... 420 00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:11,304 besides, can't prescribe medicines just because he's in pre-med. 421 00:27:11,504 --> 00:27:14,646 And anyhow, I'm not in a slump, so, uhm... 422 00:27:14,846 --> 00:27:16,671 so I guess you got your signals crossed, huh. 423 00:27:16,871 --> 00:27:18,471 Then straighten us out, honey. 424 00:27:18,671 --> 00:27:23,007 If it wasn't Ritchie, where did you get those pills you had upstairs? 425 00:27:24,316 --> 00:27:26,069 Some girls for some crams or something, 426 00:27:26,269 --> 00:27:29,125 or just about anybody to stay up for a test. 427 00:27:29,325 --> 00:27:31,646 I haven't even tried'em. I didn't even know I really had them. 428 00:27:31,846 --> 00:27:35,221 I found them right in your desk! 429 00:27:35,421 --> 00:27:37,805 You're vacuum the inside of my desk now? 430 00:27:38,005 --> 00:27:41,253 The drawer was open, they were right on top. 431 00:27:41,453 --> 00:27:43,472 So, I guess I wasn't expecting a search then. 432 00:27:43,672 --> 00:27:46,192 - I don't search my children's robes. - She knows that, darling, 433 00:27:46,392 --> 00:27:48,465 she knows that we respect her privacy, honey, 434 00:27:48,665 --> 00:27:51,392 all we want is to be sure that you aren't experimenting... 435 00:27:51,592 --> 00:27:53,722 with this stuff or any other drugs. 436 00:27:53,922 --> 00:27:56,174 And that you'd tell us about it if you do, or try. 437 00:27:56,374 --> 00:27:58,701 All we want is your word. 438 00:28:01,718 --> 00:28:04,372 We've always trusted you, Alice. 439 00:28:04,572 --> 00:28:07,021 All we want is keep on trusting you. 440 00:28:07,221 --> 00:28:09,282 I know you have. 441 00:28:13,581 --> 00:28:15,986 I give you my word. 442 00:28:16,836 --> 00:28:19,560 Now, that's what I hoped to hear. 443 00:29:14,364 --> 00:29:16,841 Who was that? 444 00:29:17,909 --> 00:29:21,869 Man, are we dummies! Damn it! Those creeps was just using us. 445 00:29:22,069 --> 00:29:23,468 Both of us. 446 00:29:23,668 --> 00:29:26,932 And God knows how many other stupid girls. 447 00:29:27,132 --> 00:29:31,662 The least we can do is to take the money. It's ours too. 448 00:29:53,643 --> 00:29:54,827 Hey, 449 00:29:55,027 --> 00:29:58,257 do you think we did the right thing? 450 00:30:00,931 --> 00:30:04,306 Well I think it'd be worst if we stayed. 451 00:30:05,910 --> 00:30:11,437 Now all that money is gone I don't trust at all Ritchie. 452 00:30:11,637 --> 00:30:13,987 I don't even trust myself. 453 00:30:19,532 --> 00:30:22,642 How long do you think 200$ is gonna last? 454 00:30:25,660 --> 00:30:27,685 They will last. 455 00:30:30,405 --> 00:30:32,949 Maybe if we keep straight. 456 00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:37,648 Maybe if we promise to keep straight. 457 00:30:42,108 --> 00:30:45,244 I can't promise, Chris. 458 00:30:45,444 --> 00:30:48,459 I can't trust myself. 459 00:30:49,125 --> 00:30:52,206 I can't trust myself either. 460 00:30:53,868 --> 00:30:56,772 It's kind of a bad thing we're into. 461 00:30:56,972 --> 00:31:00,029 Kicking' all that stuff. 462 00:31:00,229 --> 00:31:03,412 Tell me that it was just for fun and... 463 00:31:03,612 --> 00:31:05,963 that we weren't really hooked. 464 00:31:07,956 --> 00:31:10,263 I don't know, Alice. 465 00:31:11,685 --> 00:31:15,039 I haven't been straight for two years. 466 00:31:54,525 --> 00:31:56,268 Where's Chris? 467 00:31:56,468 --> 00:31:58,903 Have you got anything? 468 00:32:01,588 --> 00:32:04,780 - Where is she? - Listen I don't know any Chris. 469 00:32:04,980 --> 00:32:07,124 You got any uppers left? 470 00:32:07,324 --> 00:32:09,716 I don't know you? 471 00:32:09,916 --> 00:32:15,109 What's the matter, you're in a blackout? I brought you here. 472 00:32:15,309 --> 00:32:17,108 Who are you? 473 00:32:17,308 --> 00:32:20,277 I'm Doris. We've been all over. 474 00:32:20,477 --> 00:32:22,494 For how long? 475 00:32:25,292 --> 00:32:27,185 Forever. 476 00:32:35,245 --> 00:32:37,564 What happened to the music? 477 00:32:37,764 --> 00:32:40,813 The whole rally was canceled, remember? 478 00:32:41,013 --> 00:32:44,117 Somebody must have really slipped you a bad pill. 479 00:32:44,317 --> 00:32:46,386 Yeah, well, 480 00:32:46,586 --> 00:32:49,098 - I wish they'd do it again. - Yeah... 481 00:32:49,298 --> 00:32:53,629 Yeah, well I figured there'd be a few caps left to tide me off. I'm dying'. 482 00:32:55,866 --> 00:32:58,770 Hey uhm, there's gotta be some place to crash around here, right? 483 00:32:58,970 --> 00:33:00,723 Yeah, there's this creep at the Digger's Cafe, 484 00:33:00,923 --> 00:33:02,779 says he'll give you some bread to go home with him. 485 00:33:02,979 --> 00:33:04,355 So why don't you? 486 00:33:04,555 --> 00:33:08,890 Tried, says baby hookers just turn him off. 487 00:33:09,090 --> 00:33:11,965 Been making it longer than he has. 488 00:33:16,154 --> 00:33:18,811 How old are you? 489 00:33:19,011 --> 00:33:21,171 You know, fourteen. 490 00:33:27,194 --> 00:33:30,314 Hey uh... 491 00:33:30,514 --> 00:33:34,786 I gotta go now, I'll see you. 492 00:33:34,986 --> 00:33:37,870 Hey wait, wait. Don't you want this? 493 00:33:41,130 --> 00:33:43,411 What're you writing? 494 00:33:43,611 --> 00:33:45,098 I don't remember. 495 00:33:45,298 --> 00:33:47,219 Yeah, well I bet it's really far out stuff. 496 00:33:47,419 --> 00:33:49,591 See later, Alice. 497 00:33:56,004 --> 00:33:58,738 OK diary, it's happened. 498 00:33:58,938 --> 00:34:03,002 Damn, we didn't even last a month. 499 00:34:03,202 --> 00:34:05,443 Dallas to Phoenix to L.A. 500 00:34:05,643 --> 00:34:08,562 No jobs anywhere but plenty of dope. 501 00:34:08,762 --> 00:34:12,330 How you pay for it is something else. 502 00:34:12,530 --> 00:34:16,410 Use your imagination, the man said, 503 00:34:16,610 --> 00:34:19,000 and... 504 00:34:19,200 --> 00:34:23,212 e- even that doesn't work sometimes. 505 00:34:23,412 --> 00:34:25,597 After a while you don't even know what you're buying. 506 00:34:25,797 --> 00:34:29,181 Pure acid turns out to be horse tranquilizer. 507 00:34:29,381 --> 00:34:31,046 I got on a jag with speed. 508 00:34:31,246 --> 00:34:33,188 Didn't eat for five days. 509 00:34:33,388 --> 00:34:36,421 Gotta stay away from the hard stuff. 510 00:34:36,621 --> 00:34:39,493 Sometimes grass just doesn't make it for me. 511 00:34:39,693 --> 00:34:42,381 Chris likes heroin but it makes me too sick. 512 00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:46,691 Little Alice searches for the perfect drug. 513 00:34:46,891 --> 00:34:48,827 Still not sure if I'm pregnant, none of us takes that pill... 514 00:34:49,027 --> 00:34:52,860 'cause even if we had it we'd never know what day it is. 515 00:34:53,060 --> 00:34:55,372 Chris and I found a place to crash. 516 00:34:55,572 --> 00:34:59,580 Weird lady, weird man but, can't be that choosy. 517 00:34:59,780 --> 00:35:03,508 They... they keep their dope in candy dishes. 518 00:35:03,708 --> 00:35:07,925 Oh God, how... how do we get out of here? 519 00:35:08,125 --> 00:35:11,844 We're... we're like... prisoners. 520 00:35:12,044 --> 00:35:17,241 They- they just got Chris in the other room. I- I can hear the screaming. 521 00:35:55,981 --> 00:35:57,665 We're just about booked out. 522 00:35:57,865 --> 00:35:59,309 Are you coming or going? 523 00:35:59,509 --> 00:36:01,949 Uhm, well, 524 00:36:02,149 --> 00:36:07,357 - I'm not Catholic. - Neither are they. You. 525 00:36:07,557 --> 00:36:08,629 Uhm... 526 00:36:08,829 --> 00:36:10,505 Someone at the Digest Cafe 527 00:36:10,705 --> 00:36:12,194 said that there was, uhm, 528 00:36:12,394 --> 00:36:14,498 a priest here who... 529 00:36:14,698 --> 00:36:16,419 who knew bad kids. 530 00:36:16,619 --> 00:36:20,258 - Knew what? - Just knew. 531 00:36:20,458 --> 00:36:22,338 I think he knew more about winos and drunks... 532 00:36:22,538 --> 00:36:24,738 but they are kind of outnumbered now. 533 00:36:24,938 --> 00:36:26,666 You want some coffee? 534 00:36:26,866 --> 00:36:31,955 No, uhm, here, I wanted to show you some... 535 00:36:32,155 --> 00:36:34,106 Let me, please. 536 00:36:34,306 --> 00:36:37,507 Whatever. 537 00:36:37,707 --> 00:36:39,962 Hear, I'm sorry, it's... 538 00:36:40,162 --> 00:36:42,803 it's just that it... 539 00:36:43,003 --> 00:36:44,675 my diary. 540 00:36:44,875 --> 00:36:46,854 Well, I'm a priest. 541 00:36:49,635 --> 00:36:51,078 Come on. 542 00:37:08,274 --> 00:37:11,582 Hey man, remember when we felt beautiful? 543 00:37:11,782 --> 00:37:14,029 About a hundred years ago? 544 00:37:24,015 --> 00:37:27,647 Did you get to read it? 545 00:37:27,847 --> 00:37:29,655 Parts of it. 546 00:37:32,831 --> 00:37:35,327 You... couldn't... 547 00:37:35,527 --> 00:37:38,029 Well, 548 00:37:40,022 --> 00:37:42,934 like you say... 549 00:37:43,134 --> 00:37:44,830 you're not Catholic. 550 00:37:45,030 --> 00:37:48,478 Wasn't really meant to be a confession, 551 00:37:48,678 --> 00:37:50,503 cept maybe to yourself. 552 00:37:50,703 --> 00:37:54,159 When you start worrying about what makes good reading, 553 00:37:54,359 --> 00:37:57,201 you might quit writing this stuff. 554 00:37:59,518 --> 00:38:03,331 I can't even look at it, I tried to and... 555 00:38:04,847 --> 00:38:07,347 Yeah, you tried. 556 00:38:12,062 --> 00:38:18,526 It... it made me sick, I... 557 00:38:18,726 --> 00:38:21,262 I am sick. 558 00:38:21,462 --> 00:38:24,302 I... look, I need something. 559 00:38:24,502 --> 00:38:27,483 - Like what? - (Groans) 560 00:38:29,815 --> 00:38:31,486 Another expert opinion. 561 00:38:31,686 --> 00:38:35,510 What... oh, right, alright, uh... 562 00:38:35,710 --> 00:38:38,766 I gotta stop, but I can't. 563 00:38:38,966 --> 00:38:44,679 I tried a month ago and I can't- I can't stay off of it. 564 00:38:53,503 --> 00:38:55,460 I like it. 565 00:38:58,599 --> 00:39:00,829 I wanna live without it. 566 00:39:04,814 --> 00:39:07,524 Then you'll have to live with this. 567 00:39:14,702 --> 00:39:17,821 - It's your choice. - Father. 568 00:39:18,021 --> 00:39:19,567 It's your choice. 569 00:39:19,767 --> 00:39:22,702 Oh, father. 570 00:39:22,902 --> 00:39:26,440 - One of you gets this. - And the other one is "it". 571 00:39:34,474 --> 00:39:37,896 - It's all right, it's all right. - Father. 572 00:39:38,196 --> 00:39:40,669 It's over, they're gone, they're gone. 573 00:39:41,069 --> 00:39:44,900 Just like it was that time. Could... 574 00:39:55,941 --> 00:39:59,957 So we... we were there for three days. 575 00:40:00,157 --> 00:40:02,524 Were you? 576 00:40:02,724 --> 00:40:06,196 I don't know. 577 00:40:06,396 --> 00:40:08,524 I don't know anything but what I read. 578 00:40:08,724 --> 00:40:11,300 That's the part that made you sick before. 579 00:40:16,773 --> 00:40:18,853 Maybe... 580 00:40:19,053 --> 00:40:20,892 maybe it never really happened, I mean, 581 00:40:21,092 --> 00:40:22,701 maybe I was... 582 00:40:22,901 --> 00:40:25,747 just so upset that I made the whole thing up, 583 00:40:25,947 --> 00:40:27,645 'cause Chris left. 584 00:40:27,845 --> 00:40:32,379 Do you want an opinion, or do you want an alibi? 585 00:40:35,856 --> 00:40:38,520 Don't hassle me, 586 00:40:39,020 --> 00:40:42,517 do you want me to freak out again? 587 00:40:42,717 --> 00:40:44,593 Uh.. uhm. 588 00:40:48,180 --> 00:40:49,781 Listen. 589 00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:52,317 Isn't it better for me to freak you out, 590 00:40:52,517 --> 00:40:55,493 than brain damage? 591 00:40:55,693 --> 00:40:58,493 I don't- I don't know what would count any more. 592 00:40:58,693 --> 00:40:59,972 That's... 593 00:41:00,172 --> 00:41:03,212 - that's why I came. - I know. 594 00:41:03,412 --> 00:41:05,476 Let the priest put it all together again, 595 00:41:05,676 --> 00:41:08,372 with a little help from the big head-setter in the sky, but don't count on it. 596 00:41:08,572 --> 00:41:12,259 - You're looking for magic. - I'm looking for help! 597 00:41:18,684 --> 00:41:21,388 Then look inside. 598 00:41:21,588 --> 00:41:24,062 Look at the part of you that won't give up. 599 00:41:24,262 --> 00:41:27,867 The part of you that... that stays alive through... through a blackout. 600 00:41:28,067 --> 00:41:31,188 The part of you that won't let you lie to yourself. 601 00:41:31,388 --> 00:41:33,774 Or your diary. 602 00:41:35,609 --> 00:41:40,365 - Did you read it? - I didn't have to read much of it. 603 00:41:40,565 --> 00:41:43,355 I've heard it all. 604 00:41:46,349 --> 00:41:50,916 The thing that makes you different from a lot of the others, 605 00:41:51,116 --> 00:41:54,284 is this: 606 00:41:54,484 --> 00:41:59,484 "At last I have something worthwhile to say". 607 00:41:59,684 --> 00:42:02,852 God knows you do. 608 00:42:03,052 --> 00:42:05,774 Maybe it isn't what you thought you were saying. 609 00:42:05,974 --> 00:42:11,020 But it's enough to break your heart, or your habit. 610 00:42:11,220 --> 00:42:14,804 Can you imagine what some of these kids would write in a diary? 611 00:42:15,004 --> 00:42:20,300 365 pages with "wow" scrawled across every one of them. 612 00:42:26,452 --> 00:42:29,676 Lock this up for now. 613 00:42:29,876 --> 00:42:32,812 And be sure to get another one of these when you get home. 614 00:42:33,012 --> 00:42:35,997 You might as well stay hooked on your good habit. 615 00:42:36,197 --> 00:42:38,269 Home? 616 00:42:38,469 --> 00:42:40,413 Well, sure. 617 00:42:40,613 --> 00:42:45,165 What do you want to do, crash forever, like him? 618 00:42:45,365 --> 00:42:48,917 The three of us make an odd couple. 619 00:42:49,117 --> 00:42:50,844 Come on, you're in. 620 00:42:51,044 --> 00:42:52,980 This your home phone? 621 00:42:53,180 --> 00:42:57,493 You... please, don't, wait. 622 00:42:57,693 --> 00:43:00,709 Do you want to, or don't you? 623 00:43:02,516 --> 00:43:06,037 Uh... I... I don't wanna make things worse. 624 00:43:06,237 --> 00:43:08,885 Take a chance. 625 00:43:11,548 --> 00:43:13,846 It's their dime. 626 00:43:14,046 --> 00:43:16,644 We'll reverse the charges. 627 00:43:19,686 --> 00:43:21,638 Yeah, uh, operator? 628 00:43:21,838 --> 00:43:25,062 Uhm, area code 513, 629 00:43:25,262 --> 00:43:30,390 the numbers 388-2685, collect, please. 630 00:43:30,590 --> 00:43:33,399 The party calling is Alice, 631 00:43:33,599 --> 00:43:38,046 just... Alice, they'll know... who it is. 632 00:43:38,246 --> 00:43:39,910 Who answered? 633 00:43:40,110 --> 00:43:42,413 Your father, but they're all getting on. 634 00:43:45,206 --> 00:43:48,208 I can't. I can't! 635 00:43:51,831 --> 00:43:57,134 It's all yours, Alice. It's all yours. 636 00:43:57,334 --> 00:43:59,286 Alice? 637 00:43:59,486 --> 00:44:06,222 Are you there? Alice? Alice please, say hello. 638 00:44:06,422 --> 00:44:10,771 - Alice? - Oh, daddy? 639 00:44:10,971 --> 00:44:13,642 Oh, mommy dear, 640 00:44:13,842 --> 00:44:17,106 I love you. 641 00:44:21,011 --> 00:44:24,723 Somehow, diary, I'm gonna make it up to my family. 642 00:44:24,923 --> 00:44:27,692 They don't care what happened, they don't even ask. 643 00:44:27,892 --> 00:44:29,795 They just want to show the whole world that they... 644 00:44:29,995 --> 00:44:33,506 they're behind me. So that it makes three on our side. 645 00:44:33,706 --> 00:44:37,174 Just in case the world's lined up the other way. 646 00:44:40,728 --> 00:44:43,171 Uhh, have you got some stuff? 647 00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:47,083 I mean, you're kidding? 648 00:44:48,407 --> 00:44:52,456 Uh, Oh, hey wait, you're Alice, aren't you? 649 00:44:52,656 --> 00:44:55,472 - Forget it! - Now look, Bill said you'd be holding! 650 00:44:55,672 --> 00:44:58,131 Then tell Bill to forget it too. 651 00:45:09,817 --> 00:45:12,801 Now you're holding. Welcome home. 652 00:45:28,220 --> 00:45:30,800 Now I'm not holding. 653 00:45:39,259 --> 00:45:43,365 God, if you knew how much I wanted those pills. 654 00:45:43,565 --> 00:45:47,453 I'm still shaking but, but I can't blow it now. 655 00:45:47,653 --> 00:45:50,146 Not a second time. 656 00:45:50,346 --> 00:45:51,804 - Hey, Beth? - Uh? 657 00:45:52,004 --> 00:45:55,514 I can't wait for your party on Saturday night. 658 00:45:55,714 --> 00:45:57,514 - Did you get me a college guy, too? - Oh, sure. 659 00:45:57,714 --> 00:46:01,818 - I'll see you later, bye! - Bye! 660 00:46:02,018 --> 00:46:03,924 Hi! 661 00:46:06,290 --> 00:46:08,275 Hey, uh, congratulations. 662 00:46:08,475 --> 00:46:10,282 Is... is Bud around? 663 00:46:10,482 --> 00:46:13,594 Well, he won't be here 'till to the party. Uhm. 664 00:46:13,794 --> 00:46:16,035 Hey, that's OK. 665 00:46:16,235 --> 00:46:17,715 I'm sorry. 666 00:46:17,915 --> 00:46:20,124 Look, fair is fair I didn't invite you to my party. 667 00:46:20,324 --> 00:46:22,197 That's not why. 668 00:46:22,397 --> 00:46:26,484 It's just that everybody in the school knows who's on and who's off now. 669 00:46:26,684 --> 00:46:28,525 Yeah... 670 00:46:29,988 --> 00:46:32,316 It's like two different worlds. 671 00:46:32,516 --> 00:46:36,021 I mean, once you get a reputation... 672 00:46:36,221 --> 00:46:41,108 I mean, it's just that, straight kids are so outnumbered, Alice. 673 00:46:41,308 --> 00:46:43,004 And they just get suspicious. 674 00:46:43,204 --> 00:46:44,884 Yeah, and, uh... 675 00:46:45,084 --> 00:46:51,524 Users are so paranoid they can't stand having any straight ones around. 676 00:46:51,724 --> 00:46:56,813 Makes feel a lot of fun. 677 00:46:57,013 --> 00:47:01,444 Look, I really wish I could invite you, I just can't, I'm sorry. 678 00:47:01,644 --> 00:47:04,812 Yeah, yeah I understand. 679 00:47:08,213 --> 00:47:10,869 Well diary, you're still are the only friend I have. 680 00:47:11,069 --> 00:47:14,004 It's awfully cold out here in no man's land. 681 00:47:14,204 --> 00:47:16,149 Even Chris is lucky. 682 00:47:16,349 --> 00:47:19,949 Her parent has moved away after she got home and let her start all over again. 683 00:47:20,149 --> 00:47:22,804 Well, Jan? What army are you feeding this weekend? 684 00:47:23,004 --> 00:47:24,733 Uh, a whole crowd. 685 00:47:24,933 --> 00:47:28,084 Including Alice if she does break down and socialize a little. 686 00:47:28,284 --> 00:47:32,101 Well, she uh, she gets a lot studying on the new sitter's job. 687 00:47:32,301 --> 00:47:35,133 But maybe she's being too conscientious, we'll try to persuade her. 688 00:47:35,333 --> 00:47:37,044 All work and no play... 689 00:47:37,244 --> 00:47:38,924 Why don't you give up Alice? 690 00:47:39,124 --> 00:47:40,836 Get off for your high horse. 691 00:47:41,036 --> 00:47:43,589 Or your uh... horse high? 692 00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:50,095 Well, bye, it was really nice seeing you again, goodbye. 693 00:47:50,295 --> 00:47:52,358 I'm gonna lose my mind. 694 00:47:52,558 --> 00:47:56,272 Mom and dad tell me it to be a good judge of character. 695 00:47:56,472 --> 00:48:00,715 Sometimes I wonder how do they made it to the age that they are. 696 00:48:00,915 --> 00:48:05,954 It... it's like I've been part of some giant spy ring that won't let go of me. 697 00:48:06,154 --> 00:48:09,110 Don't they realize that the more they put me on the spot, 698 00:48:09,310 --> 00:48:13,761 the harder it is for me not to talk to my parents or... or someone. 699 00:48:16,326 --> 00:48:17,662 Alice? 700 00:48:17,862 --> 00:48:19,503 How are you, Alice? 701 00:48:19,703 --> 00:48:23,661 - Ohhh, what're you doing, babysitting? - Oh, hey Jen, you're all wet. 702 00:48:23,861 --> 00:48:26,415 So... Mrs. Carson called me when you didn't show up and asked me to... 703 00:48:26,615 --> 00:48:28,566 come over and, uh, I just put the baby down so keep it down. 704 00:48:28,766 --> 00:48:31,142 What? I'm gonna get 'er up, that's my job. 705 00:48:31,342 --> 00:48:33,872 It's not your job anymore so stay away from the baby. 706 00:48:34,072 --> 00:48:36,287 Oh, look it! She's laughing when I'm bouncing around, 707 00:48:36,487 --> 00:48:40,120 she doesn't want to sleep! 708 00:48:40,320 --> 00:48:44,120 - How 'bout a... a little music? - Jan, come here! 709 00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,865 - Baby! - Oh, shut up! 710 00:48:47,065 --> 00:48:48,624 Do you want me to call your family? 711 00:48:48,824 --> 00:48:51,136 - If you try that, you- - Get out! 712 00:48:51,336 --> 00:48:52,993 No, you get out! Look, I'm taking over... 713 00:48:53,193 --> 00:48:55,761 this is my territory, my territory! 714 00:48:55,961 --> 00:48:57,704 This is my book, 715 00:48:57,904 --> 00:49:00,249 this is my piano, 716 00:49:00,449 --> 00:49:03,874 my stereo, my pillow! 717 00:49:04,074 --> 00:49:06,644 Will you please come get Jan? She's crazy, she's... 718 00:49:06,844 --> 00:49:08,768 What you're doing? 719 00:49:09,676 --> 00:49:12,372 N-no! 720 00:49:12,572 --> 00:49:14,288 Get out, please! 721 00:49:24,800 --> 00:49:26,833 I think you handled it absolutely right. 722 00:49:27,033 --> 00:49:28,615 Exactly. What else could you have done? 723 00:49:28,815 --> 00:49:30,095 - Would you like some more coffee? - No, thanks. 724 00:49:30,295 --> 00:49:32,263 A lot of work from Jan Meeker point of view. 725 00:49:32,463 --> 00:49:34,799 Could have gone over her mother's head to the authorities. 726 00:49:34,999 --> 00:49:36,687 And we still can if she stirs anything up. 727 00:49:36,887 --> 00:49:38,479 You promised me that if I told you you wouldn't... 728 00:49:38,679 --> 00:49:41,670 The promise still stands, but let's try and be realistic about this. 729 00:49:41,870 --> 00:49:44,175 I can't get you an overnight transfer just because... 730 00:49:44,375 --> 00:49:46,774 a couple of anti-social kids want to drive you out of school. 731 00:49:46,974 --> 00:49:50,834 I think that it makes more sense to stand up to Jan Meeker. 732 00:49:51,034 --> 00:49:53,407 Whatever mistakes your friends think you made, 733 00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:57,019 I can't believe that they'll side with her on this one. 734 00:49:57,219 --> 00:50:01,035 Any sane person would understand that... you were responsible for that baby. 735 00:50:01,235 --> 00:50:04,498 Kids like that don't understand anything. 736 00:50:04,698 --> 00:50:07,003 I'm damn glad my kids aren't like that. 737 00:50:07,203 --> 00:50:10,331 Are you kidding, daddy? I was worse. 738 00:50:10,531 --> 00:50:13,860 I mean, don't you know what it was all about? 739 00:50:15,690 --> 00:50:17,627 I don't wanna know. 740 00:50:17,827 --> 00:50:20,403 What dad means is that it's, uhm, that it's forgotten. 741 00:50:20,603 --> 00:50:23,538 Yeah, I know what dad means. 742 00:50:23,738 --> 00:50:27,547 The point is that you're a different person now, you're strong, an adult, 743 00:50:27,747 --> 00:50:29,435 and we're with you. 744 00:50:29,635 --> 00:50:33,946 And when that crowd finally realizes that you really mean business, 745 00:50:34,146 --> 00:50:36,345 you'll get their respect, too. 746 00:50:38,324 --> 00:50:41,954 Uhm, thanks for walking me to school. 747 00:50:42,154 --> 00:50:45,976 Listen, I could walk you home if you want. 748 00:50:46,907 --> 00:50:48,370 Anytime. 749 00:50:48,570 --> 00:50:50,283 Hey, thanks! 750 00:51:02,474 --> 00:51:05,194 Hey watch out there you don't want to push the fink down the stairs. 751 00:51:05,394 --> 00:51:08,895 What would you do if they put a roach down your father's car, fink? 752 00:51:25,749 --> 00:51:27,817 Fink. 753 00:51:35,268 --> 00:51:37,029 Hey, Alice, 754 00:51:37,229 --> 00:51:39,084 what's the matter? Can't you take it? 755 00:51:39,284 --> 00:51:42,917 Hey Listen, uh, like a little something to calm your nerves? 756 00:51:43,117 --> 00:51:45,540 It will make you feel really fine. 757 00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:49,325 Oh you know your little brother? Your little baby brother? 758 00:51:49,525 --> 00:51:51,580 I think uh, before you quit school you better tell... 759 00:51:51,780 --> 00:51:53,917 your baby brother not to take candy from people he doesn't know. 760 00:51:54,117 --> 00:51:58,401 You go near him, or you even try it, I'll kill you! I mean it Jan, I'll kill you. 761 00:52:17,884 --> 00:52:20,148 Hey, have you seen my dad? 762 00:52:20,348 --> 00:52:24,445 Uhm, no, As a matter of fact I was just looking around for him myself. 763 00:52:24,645 --> 00:52:26,541 I think he may have gone home for the day. 764 00:52:26,741 --> 00:52:29,485 If I bump into him is there a message you'd like to leave, or something? 765 00:52:29,685 --> 00:52:30,845 No, uhm... 766 00:52:31,045 --> 00:52:33,083 I won't bother with it. 767 00:52:37,972 --> 00:52:39,393 Wait a second! 768 00:52:43,036 --> 00:52:47,588 It's funny how I've divided the whole world into freaks and straights for so long. 769 00:52:47,788 --> 00:52:51,293 I forgot there were other kinds of people around. 770 00:52:51,493 --> 00:52:53,420 I went through a similar thing, 771 00:52:53,620 --> 00:52:55,644 couple of years ago. 772 00:52:55,844 --> 00:53:00,205 With my parents, you know, but it was... but I didn't... didn't feel like I had to... 773 00:53:00,405 --> 00:53:03,060 to relate them everything about it, you know, I mean, 774 00:53:03,260 --> 00:53:05,749 is there other ways you can talk to your parents. 775 00:53:05,949 --> 00:53:07,273 What are the things you can talk to them about, 776 00:53:07,473 --> 00:53:09,137 they don't have to know everything about you. 777 00:53:09,337 --> 00:53:11,009 Did you have somebody to talk to? 778 00:53:11,209 --> 00:53:13,993 You know, my friends. 779 00:53:14,193 --> 00:53:16,497 I... I guess that's the trouble, I mean, I... 780 00:53:16,697 --> 00:53:20,713 I... I can't talk to the kids who use dope, because... 781 00:53:20,913 --> 00:53:23,257 they're afraid of me, that I'll turn them in and I know too much, 782 00:53:23,457 --> 00:53:26,617 I can't... talk to the kids... who never used dope because... 783 00:53:26,817 --> 00:53:29,897 they're scared of me because I've used dope, and... 784 00:53:30,097 --> 00:53:35,393 the whole point is that I'm scared, I came to daddy's office this morning, because... 785 00:53:35,593 --> 00:53:38,016 because what happened today in school is gonna keep on happening and... 786 00:53:38,216 --> 00:53:40,801 and it won't stop. They'll do something to Tim. 787 00:53:41,001 --> 00:53:44,825 They'll put dope in daddy's car, they'll... they'll... 788 00:53:45,025 --> 00:53:47,305 they're angry, they're angry at me because I turned them in. 789 00:53:47,505 --> 00:53:49,578 I mean, I'm... I'm worse than their parents now. 790 00:53:49,778 --> 00:53:51,809 I stand for everything that they... 791 00:53:52,009 --> 00:53:53,985 that they hate, that, the reason they take dope, 792 00:53:54,185 --> 00:53:56,232 they're copping out from what's real... 793 00:53:56,432 --> 00:53:58,822 And what you wanna do? 794 00:54:04,225 --> 00:54:07,370 I guess I just need someone else to talk to. 795 00:54:09,345 --> 00:54:11,257 I'll play that way. 796 00:54:18,276 --> 00:54:19,440 Hey, thanks. 797 00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:21,248 So, uhm you'll be working over the weekend? 798 00:54:21,448 --> 00:54:23,985 Uhm, yeah, I'm baby sitting for the Larsens all weekend. 799 00:54:24,185 --> 00:54:26,425 - A little extra cash always comes in handy. - Yeah... 800 00:54:26,625 --> 00:54:30,409 I normally work until Saturday. Uhm, nine o'clock. 801 00:54:30,609 --> 00:54:31,928 Uhm, 802 00:54:32,128 --> 00:54:34,513 listen, you think it'd be OK if I step by? 803 00:54:34,713 --> 00:54:36,729 - Saturday? - Yeah. 804 00:54:36,929 --> 00:54:39,570 What for? 805 00:54:39,770 --> 00:54:43,977 You know, watch TV, uhm, talk... 806 00:54:44,177 --> 00:54:47,529 Alice, what I'm trying to do is ask you for a date. 807 00:54:50,734 --> 00:54:53,330 Oh. 808 00:54:55,193 --> 00:54:58,759 I guess what's- what's strange about John is that he really does, 809 00:54:58,959 --> 00:55:04,183 the things Ritchie pretended to do. He works hard, he likes it, supports himself, 810 00:55:04,383 --> 00:55:06,541 cares about people. 811 00:56:16,639 --> 00:56:22,040 Something to make us all happy. 812 00:56:22,240 --> 00:56:26,079 Do anything to take us out of this gloom. 813 00:56:26,279 --> 00:56:27,591 No! 814 00:56:27,791 --> 00:56:32,171 Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy. 815 00:56:34,139 --> 00:56:38,519 Doctor Benjamin to Orthopedics, Doctor Benjamin. 816 00:56:40,576 --> 00:56:44,353 But we need more than some kind of recognition to establish... 817 00:56:44,553 --> 00:56:47,070 how much memory is available. 818 00:56:47,270 --> 00:56:49,878 We profess that medical recommendations in these case, 819 00:56:50,078 --> 00:56:53,800 depend on the patient's verbal response. 820 00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:58,342 The more direct and significant your contact with her, 821 00:56:58,542 --> 00:57:01,021 the better for all of us. 822 00:57:16,334 --> 00:57:19,719 Well, 823 00:57:19,919 --> 00:57:22,486 just us today. 824 00:57:22,686 --> 00:57:25,142 That means you're better, honey. 825 00:57:25,342 --> 00:57:28,830 You're well enough to tell us how you are. 826 00:57:29,030 --> 00:57:33,351 If... you wanna just nod until you're ready, 827 00:57:33,551 --> 00:57:36,071 it's OK for opening. 828 00:57:36,271 --> 00:57:39,917 Y...you know, like, we've been trying with the doctor. 829 00:57:43,558 --> 00:57:45,983 G- Give us a nod. 830 00:57:46,183 --> 00:57:48,567 Come on. 831 00:57:48,767 --> 00:57:51,390 You can see us and hear us. 832 00:57:51,590 --> 00:57:54,161 Sh-Show us you know who we are. 833 00:57:57,032 --> 00:57:59,734 And that we love you. 834 00:57:59,934 --> 00:58:01,926 Do you know that we love you, darling? 835 00:58:02,126 --> 00:58:05,233 How can she answer that? It's not the right kind of question. 836 00:58:07,886 --> 00:58:10,284 Yes it was. 837 00:58:13,666 --> 00:58:14,207 Alice... 838 00:58:14,407 --> 00:58:16,646 Doctor Siegel, to radiology. Doctor Siegel. 839 00:58:16,846 --> 00:58:18,750 Can you remember things now? 840 00:58:18,950 --> 00:58:21,558 Try to remember what happened that night. 841 00:58:21,758 --> 00:58:26,935 There's a... There's a special reason we need to have you answer now, 842 00:58:27,135 --> 00:58:32,647 it's... uh... legal really, as well as medical. You. 843 00:58:32,847 --> 00:58:35,829 Dad will explain it to you. 844 00:58:38,647 --> 00:58:41,042 It's... uhm... 845 00:58:43,839 --> 00:58:46,367 more or less a formality, there's... 846 00:58:46,567 --> 00:58:50,511 gonna be an... hearing... of sorts, and, 847 00:58:50,711 --> 00:58:54,068 the... the only complication is that... 848 00:58:55,671 --> 00:58:57,007 your... 849 00:58:57,207 --> 00:59:01,119 Well, two of the girls in school, they, uh, 850 00:59:01,319 --> 00:59:04,263 well, they... they said that you've been... 851 00:59:04,463 --> 00:59:07,943 selling... this LSD that you took... 852 00:59:08,143 --> 00:59:11,270 to all of them all along. 853 00:59:11,470 --> 00:59:12,631 We don't believe it. 854 00:59:12,831 --> 00:59:14,839 Alice, we're going to swear to our belief in you 855 00:59:15,039 --> 00:59:16,998 against every last one of them, we're going to... 856 00:59:17,198 --> 00:59:20,974 we're going to swear to the change in you since you've been home and your work... 857 00:59:21,174 --> 00:59:23,663 and your attitude and everything. 858 00:59:23,863 --> 00:59:28,286 And... and how that... that whole school crowd upset you... 859 00:59:28,486 --> 00:59:31,261 and they ke... they kept after you. 860 00:59:32,582 --> 00:59:36,414 If we had a... clue... 861 00:59:36,614 --> 00:59:40,239 as to where you got the stuff you took at the Larsen's... 862 00:59:40,439 --> 00:59:42,471 No... no... 863 00:59:42,671 --> 00:59:47,380 She... she's trying to tell us, she wants to. 864 00:59:47,580 --> 00:59:53,308 I... I... I can't... No, uh, I can't. 865 00:59:58,052 --> 01:00:00,901 They're crawling again, They're... 866 01:00:01,101 --> 01:00:03,333 they're going to eat me, they're crawling. 867 01:00:03,533 --> 01:00:04,968 - They're crawling. - Take the doctor. 868 01:00:05,168 --> 01:00:07,071 They're going to eat me, they're crawling. 869 01:00:07,271 --> 01:00:09,271 - No, honey, it'alright, it's alright... - No... 870 01:00:09,471 --> 01:00:10,327 Doctor, Doctor, please. 871 01:00:10,527 --> 01:00:14,527 - No, please, please, they're crawling. - No, it's alright, 872 01:00:14,727 --> 01:00:16,511 I'm sorry. 873 01:00:16,711 --> 01:00:18,255 We're better now for today. 874 01:00:18,455 --> 01:00:20,327 Please, stop, please. 875 01:00:20,527 --> 01:00:24,513 Please, they're crawling again, please, stop it, please. 876 01:00:33,423 --> 01:00:35,285 Good morning, Alice. 877 01:00:36,423 --> 01:00:38,111 One of your friends told your family you 878 01:00:38,311 --> 01:00:40,713 might like to take that to the clinic with you. 879 01:00:40,913 --> 01:00:42,203 Locked out. 880 01:00:43,069 --> 01:00:46,647 Only for your own viewing. Just for you. 881 01:00:51,104 --> 01:00:54,213 If it's true that you still keep the diary. 882 01:00:55,897 --> 01:00:57,857 What friend? 883 01:00:58,057 --> 01:01:01,456 Oh, I'm not sure, let me see if I have a note here. 884 01:01:01,656 --> 01:01:03,832 Any Idea of who'd might be? 885 01:01:04,032 --> 01:01:06,177 A boy, a girl... 886 01:01:06,377 --> 01:01:09,921 someone older? 887 01:01:10,121 --> 01:01:13,654 Someone at school? 888 01:01:14,243 --> 01:01:16,181 No friends there. 889 01:01:21,571 --> 01:01:24,233 Miss Beth Baum. 890 01:01:28,443 --> 01:01:31,114 I didn't do it, 891 01:01:31,314 --> 01:01:33,282 it was in the drink. 892 01:01:33,482 --> 01:01:35,451 Please tell the kids, 893 01:01:35,651 --> 01:01:38,730 I didn't do it, please tell them that, please. 894 01:01:38,930 --> 01:01:45,142 Alice, look at me, and try to make me understand so I can tell Beth. 895 01:01:46,466 --> 01:01:50,442 I... uh, just went to the refrigerator, and I... I opened the door and I... 896 01:01:50,642 --> 01:01:52,187 there was a bottle... 897 01:01:52,387 --> 01:01:55,907 of drink there and I... I took it out and it was... it was half-empty and I... 898 01:01:56,107 --> 01:01:57,946 took the drink and I... and I took the formula... 899 01:01:58,146 --> 01:02:00,835 And I... and I went into the living room and I sat down and... 900 01:02:01,035 --> 01:02:03,946 and then I started to give the formula to the... 901 01:02:04,146 --> 01:02:08,962 - Oh, the baby! - The baby is alright. 902 01:02:09,162 --> 01:02:12,270 Nothing happened to the baby. 903 01:02:12,470 --> 01:02:15,243 She was asleep in the crib. 904 01:02:15,443 --> 01:02:20,114 You left the baby in the crib and locked yourself into the closet. 905 01:02:20,314 --> 01:02:24,562 - Whatever for? - To stay away from her! 906 01:02:24,762 --> 01:02:27,138 You did not harm the baby. 907 01:02:27,338 --> 01:02:29,664 You harmed yourself. 908 01:02:49,455 --> 01:02:51,227 It's a bum trip... 909 01:02:51,427 --> 01:02:53,179 Bum trip and a half. 910 01:02:53,379 --> 01:02:57,651 I thought that I was... buried... 911 01:02:57,851 --> 01:03:01,171 w- without a coffin, 912 01:03:01,371 --> 01:03:03,387 and I... and I tried to... 913 01:03:03,587 --> 01:03:05,883 - s- scratch my way out, uhm... - Yes. 914 01:03:06,083 --> 01:03:07,610 To kick and claw... 915 01:03:07,810 --> 01:03:13,674 Doctor Siegel, Doctor Siegel please report to surgery. 916 01:03:13,874 --> 01:03:17,610 Guess I even tried to use my head against the door. 917 01:03:17,810 --> 01:03:19,763 Yes, your skull was fractured. 918 01:03:19,963 --> 01:03:22,051 Yes, some door, uh? 919 01:03:22,251 --> 01:03:24,788 But only a door. 920 01:03:26,550 --> 01:03:28,795 No coffin? 921 01:03:33,003 --> 01:03:35,994 Am I leaving alive? 922 01:03:36,194 --> 01:03:40,170 No one died, Alice. 923 01:03:40,370 --> 01:03:42,384 After all... 924 01:03:48,725 --> 01:03:51,138 I guess I'm really back. 925 01:03:59,979 --> 01:04:03,593 Well, live and learn diary, this use center is probably the first sensible thing... 926 01:04:03,793 --> 01:04:06,437 that's happened to me since I started drugs. 927 01:04:06,637 --> 01:04:09,317 Like, uh, I come from a small town... 928 01:04:09,517 --> 01:04:13,236 and, uhm, I hadn't heard about drugs at all, you know, 929 01:04:13,436 --> 01:04:16,436 and, you know, alright I hadn't been around it that much, 930 01:04:16,636 --> 01:04:19,261 and then you know my parents started with this, you know... 931 01:04:19,461 --> 01:04:22,286 everytime I had come home, they'ld started checking me out, you know, 932 01:04:22,486 --> 01:04:26,230 check'in my eyes and everything. And, uh, 933 01:04:26,430 --> 01:04:29,285 They were the first ones that ever, you know, really... 934 01:04:29,485 --> 01:04:31,876 I... I, you know, I knew about drugs, but, 935 01:04:32,076 --> 01:04:34,846 They really made me aware of drugs, you know, 936 01:04:35,046 --> 01:04:37,230 like the pills, the grass... 937 01:04:37,430 --> 01:04:41,541 Seems crazy now that I'm straight, 938 01:04:41,741 --> 01:04:44,884 and that's how it all started. 939 01:04:45,084 --> 01:04:47,686 You know, like... 940 01:04:47,886 --> 01:04:51,802 A couple of my buddies, we heard about glue and... 941 01:04:52,002 --> 01:04:54,394 and bam we all got blasted. 942 01:04:54,594 --> 01:04:57,178 Like it was so green, 943 01:04:57,378 --> 01:05:00,529 like I thought the first one left with some kind of high. 944 01:05:00,729 --> 01:05:04,626 - I really dug it. - Still do. 945 01:05:04,826 --> 01:05:06,818 Dig sniffing glue? 946 01:05:07,018 --> 01:05:12,290 - No, that first lift. - He just told you. He digs being straight. 947 01:05:12,490 --> 01:05:14,666 I know what he just told me, 948 01:05:14,866 --> 01:05:16,826 but he's getting high just talking about getting high, 949 01:05:17,026 --> 01:05:19,906 you're getting high off his high and I'm getting high off your high... 950 01:05:20,106 --> 01:05:23,890 and it's one big contact high. 951 01:05:24,090 --> 01:05:26,041 We think we're having this great rap session and... 952 01:05:26,241 --> 01:05:30,994 and really we're no better than anyone who sniffs, cor. 953 01:05:31,194 --> 01:05:34,060 It just doesn't go anywhere. 954 01:05:38,690 --> 01:05:40,585 Hey, look Alice, 955 01:05:40,785 --> 01:05:42,889 don't get mad. 956 01:05:43,089 --> 01:05:44,617 look, 957 01:05:44,817 --> 01:05:48,776 I can get us a mixed bag. you know, just for the two of us. 958 01:05:54,817 --> 01:05:56,530 No, 959 01:05:56,730 --> 01:05:58,570 I really don't want to. 960 01:05:58,770 --> 01:06:04,322 For the first time in- in my dumb life, I... I think I meant that. 961 01:06:04,522 --> 01:06:08,521 I know I'll always be one pill away from being an addict again. 962 01:06:08,721 --> 01:06:13,337 But, if I can just keep turning down that same pill, 963 01:06:13,537 --> 01:06:15,726 I'll be OK. 964 01:06:23,994 --> 01:06:25,305 Goodbye. 965 01:06:25,505 --> 01:06:29,041 Most hopeless of places where I finally learned to hope... 966 01:06:29,241 --> 01:06:32,442 Learn to... take apart nightmares, 967 01:06:32,642 --> 01:06:36,002 and put together a life. 968 01:06:36,202 --> 01:06:39,482 Even learn to forget about people who forget about me, 969 01:06:39,682 --> 01:06:41,648 like Joel. 970 01:06:41,848 --> 01:06:43,658 But it doesn't matter. 971 01:06:43,858 --> 01:06:48,372 Nothing matters now except, going home. 972 01:07:17,713 --> 01:07:19,211 Not bad if I say so myself. 973 01:07:19,411 --> 01:07:21,251 - Oh! Pretty! - Where are the candles? 974 01:07:21,451 --> 01:07:24,675 Ah, ah! No candles, I said there could be a party without candles, without cake, 975 01:07:24,875 --> 01:07:27,611 and no... and no singing. And I cook all the food. 976 01:07:27,811 --> 01:07:31,723 Hmm. That's not bad, as long as you don't do your cooking the way Beth does. 977 01:07:31,923 --> 01:07:35,179 listening to, uh, foreign language records simultaneously. 978 01:07:35,379 --> 01:07:38,859 One of these days she is gonna make, uhm, lasagna topped with chocolate mousse. 979 01:07:39,059 --> 01:07:41,707 Ah, you'll be the first one to try it, Bud. 980 01:07:41,907 --> 01:07:45,155 At the center the food was so bad we had to have contests to jazz it up, 981 01:07:45,355 --> 01:07:48,579 you know, like, uh, peanut butter and whipped cream, on salami. 982 01:07:48,779 --> 01:07:52,114 - Did you ever try, uh, turnips and yogurt? - Your cute! 983 01:07:52,314 --> 01:07:55,186 - Come on Beth. - Save some for the party, uh. 984 01:08:04,811 --> 01:08:10,010 Uhm, what are your plans about School and everything now? 985 01:08:10,210 --> 01:08:13,339 Oh I don't know, I guess the same as my plans about life, just... 986 01:08:13,539 --> 01:08:16,267 take it as it comes. 987 01:08:16,467 --> 01:08:18,811 You know, how I was gonna say, it's different now. 988 01:08:19,011 --> 01:08:21,418 Because of us. 989 01:08:21,618 --> 01:08:26,115 But, what it really boils down to, is that you really did it yourself. 990 01:08:26,315 --> 01:08:28,035 I guess there's something about... 991 01:08:28,235 --> 01:08:33,003 living through the worst that can happen, that- that once it's really over... 992 01:08:33,203 --> 01:08:35,571 oh, I hope it's over... 993 01:08:35,771 --> 01:08:40,282 I don't think I could live through that again. 994 01:08:40,482 --> 01:08:46,140 Once is enough for anybody, but you really did it Alice. 995 01:08:46,340 --> 01:08:50,019 Yeah, with the help of my friends, uh. 996 01:08:50,219 --> 01:08:51,611 Alice? 997 01:08:51,811 --> 01:08:54,028 There's somebody here to see you. 998 01:09:06,427 --> 01:09:08,245 Happy birthday. 999 01:09:24,916 --> 01:09:27,637 - It was really good. - Thanks. 1000 01:09:35,516 --> 01:09:38,819 You know, I, uh... 1001 01:09:39,019 --> 01:09:42,683 I really feel crummy about the last couple of months, not writing you or anything. 1002 01:09:42,883 --> 01:09:45,578 I didn't have any right to expect that you would. 1003 01:09:45,778 --> 01:09:49,205 It's just that... 1004 01:09:49,405 --> 01:09:53,147 well, when it comes right down to it, I... 1005 01:09:53,347 --> 01:09:57,075 I guess I was afraid. 1006 01:09:57,275 --> 01:09:58,972 I mean, 1007 01:09:59,172 --> 01:10:02,155 I knew you had a lot of things going on inside you, and, 1008 01:10:02,355 --> 01:10:05,963 a lot of problems, you know, and so do I, uh, I guess everybody does. 1009 01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:08,881 It's just that... 1010 01:10:09,081 --> 01:10:12,345 I.. I just didn't know if I... 1011 01:10:12,545 --> 01:10:16,482 was willing to take on the responsibility for somebody else. 1012 01:10:16,682 --> 01:10:18,887 I... I know. 1013 01:10:21,265 --> 01:10:23,090 Anyway, 1014 01:10:23,290 --> 01:10:27,337 what I wanna say is... is that I, I don't feel that way anymore. 1015 01:10:27,537 --> 01:10:29,850 And I... I don't blame you if you're sore at me. 1016 01:10:30,050 --> 01:10:31,065 I'm... 1017 01:10:31,265 --> 01:10:33,728 I mean it, 1018 01:10:33,928 --> 01:10:38,737 it's no way to start a relationship, if you really care about somebody. 1019 01:10:38,937 --> 01:10:42,841 And I do care about you. 1020 01:10:43,041 --> 01:10:46,088 I... I guess the problem is, is that I... 1021 01:10:46,288 --> 01:10:49,305 I don't know how to start a relationship, I, uh... 1022 01:10:49,505 --> 01:10:53,137 I don't talk very well except to my diary and... 1023 01:10:53,337 --> 01:10:57,138 I've done a lot of things with a lot of men but I was always... 1024 01:10:57,338 --> 01:11:01,640 really stoned... 1025 01:11:01,840 --> 01:11:05,080 I guess I don't know, 1026 01:11:05,304 --> 01:11:09,927 if I can have a relationship with someone and be just... me. 1027 01:11:14,033 --> 01:11:17,335 Well, there's only one way to find out. 1028 01:11:27,825 --> 01:11:29,752 I guess Joel is about the best birthday present... 1029 01:11:29,952 --> 01:11:34,625 any seventeen year old girl named Alice could ask for. 1030 01:11:34,825 --> 01:11:37,273 But as nice as he is, 1031 01:11:37,473 --> 01:11:41,681 I hope I don't learn on him the way I... did with drugs.* 1032 01:11:41,881 --> 01:11:47,577 It scares me when I... when I still find myself thinking about a high. 1033 01:11:47,777 --> 01:11:51,161 It's a fear I've got to live with. 1034 01:11:51,361 --> 01:11:54,297 Oh, well, tomorrow is a new day, 1035 01:11:54,497 --> 01:11:56,961 and finally back to school. 1036 01:11:57,161 --> 01:11:59,681 I think I've come to... a decision. 1037 01:11:59,881 --> 01:12:02,552 Yeah? You look like you've come to some sort of decision. 1038 01:12:02,752 --> 01:12:05,632 - It's about my diary. - Yeah? 1039 01:12:05,832 --> 01:12:07,790 Uh, I just finished the second one and, 1040 01:12:07,990 --> 01:12:10,299 I really don't have time for it anymore and... 1041 01:12:10,499 --> 01:12:14,393 and besides I don't... I don't think I need it. 1042 01:12:14,593 --> 01:12:16,199 Could be. 1043 01:12:55,088 --> 01:12:59,863 In the fall of her last year in high school our daughter died of an overdose of drugs. 1044 01:13:00,063 --> 01:13:02,623 We were never able to find out what the drugs were... 1045 01:13:02,823 --> 01:13:05,391 or whether or not they were self-administered. 1046 01:13:05,591 --> 01:13:08,191 Since she had stopped keeping a diary several months before... 1047 01:13:08,391 --> 01:13:11,759 we had no clues as to why she died. 1048 01:13:11,959 --> 01:13:13,231 We have discovered since then... 1049 01:13:13,431 --> 01:13:17,656 that she was one of almost five thousand drug deaths that year. 1050 01:13:17,856 --> 01:13:21,479 And so we... decided to make her diary public, because... 1051 01:13:21,679 --> 01:13:24,435 we feel she would have wanted us to. 1052 01:13:25,962 --> 01:13:30,627 I think she'll know... 1053 01:13:30,827 --> 01:13:35,155 when the logic and proportion... 1054 01:13:35,355 --> 01:13:40,083 have fallen sloppy dead... 1055 01:13:40,283 --> 01:13:43,462 remember, 1056 01:13:43,662 --> 01:13:48,219 what the dormouse said... 1057 01:13:48,419 --> 01:13:52,335 "Feed your head!", 1058 01:13:52,535 --> 01:13:56,886 "Feed your head!"... 1059 01:13:57,086 --> 01:14:01,283 Transcription: fba90130, SulFiloDeiRicordi Translation: SulFiloDeiRicordi 1060 01:14:01,483 --> 01:14:05,613 Ressynch: Kilo 84203

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