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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:03,336
(theme music playing)
2
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:30,947
(chicken clucks)
3
00:00:32,449 --> 00:00:35,076
GRAMMA: Good to be back with my family.
4
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:36,786
Now that you've joined us
in the country, Ma,
5
00:00:36,870 --> 00:00:38,413
I think it's time to give you and Remy
6
00:00:38,413 --> 00:00:40,040
a tour of downtown Smalton.
7
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:44,377
I can't wait.
Downtown Smalton sounds so cosmopolitan.
8
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:47,047
Oh, you bet it's-- whatever that word is.
9
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:49,299
Oh, we're turning onto Main Street now.
10
00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:51,593
Welcome to downtown Smalton!
11
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:54,262
And... that's it.
12
00:00:54,262 --> 00:00:56,890
Okay, everyone out. Stretch your legs.
13
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,725
- Oh, Gramma, I'm so happy
-(grunts)
14
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:01,352
{\an8}you came all the way out here
just to visit us.
15
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:04,272
{\an8}Darn tootin'. Who's going
to look after y'all if I don't?
16
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,567
Indeed. It'll be great
to have you around again.
17
00:01:07,567 --> 00:01:08,818
-(stomach growling)
- Sheesh.
18
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,528
You've been starving since I was gone?
19
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,363
Come on, why don't we head out
20
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,823
and I'll make you your favorite pie?
21
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,700
Actually, Gramma, you're in luck.
22
00:01:15,784 --> 00:01:18,286
- We can eat here.
- GRAMMA: Patti's Diner?
23
00:01:18,286 --> 00:01:21,331
You're going to love it.
Patti's an amazing baker.
24
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,166
Patti, huh?
25
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,544
Take it in, Remy.
Welcome to Patti's Diner.
26
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,963
The beating heart of downtown Smalton.
27
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:32,801
It's got everything!
Fine dining, live entertainment,
28
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- fascinating locals...
-(wheezing)
29
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,096
And there's even a gift shop!
30
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:39,349
Ooh! I've been meaning to get
a country souvenir for Vasquez.
31
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:41,643
- I'm gonna go check it out.
- You do you, Remy.
32
00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:43,353
Should I try the triple bacon burger,
33
00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,939
or should I go healthy
and do the double bacon burger?
34
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,149
Gramma, you must meet the owner, Patti.
35
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She bakes the best blueberry pie.
36
00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:51,945
"The best"?
37
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:55,532
But nothing beats
my classic homemade pie, right?
38
00:01:55,532 --> 00:01:57,784
-(both gasp)
- Booths are for paying customers only.
39
00:01:57,784 --> 00:01:58,868
Patti!
40
00:01:58,952 --> 00:02:00,578
Long time no see, Tilly.
41
00:02:00,662 --> 00:02:01,996
You still remember our handshake?
42
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,248
How can I forget?
43
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(grunting and vocalizing)
44
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,710
- TILLY: Oh, yeah!
- PATTI: Yeah!
45
00:02:08,878 --> 00:02:10,296
- TILLY: Ring, ring.
- PATTI: Hello?
46
00:02:10,380 --> 00:02:11,339
BOTH: Wink!
47
00:02:11,339 --> 00:02:13,258
(both laugh)
48
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:16,052
It's good to see the Green family again.
49
00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:18,513
And pardon my manners.
Tilly, I didn't know
50
00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:20,306
you had a twin sister.
51
00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:23,226
(chuckles) Oh, Patti, this is my gramma.
52
00:02:23,226 --> 00:02:25,395
You've got some wonderful grandkids.
53
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,314
Can I arm wrestle you for them?
Ha! I'm just kidding.
54
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GRAMMA: I will destroy this woman.
55
00:02:30,358 --> 00:02:32,861
All right, lay it on me.
What are we eating today?
56
00:02:32,861 --> 00:02:34,696
I'll start. I think I'll try the--
57
00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:35,947
Uhp-bup-bup! Wayne!
58
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,907
As soon as I saw you all come in,
59
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,076
I went ahead
and started making your usual.
60
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,079
An open-faced liverwurst sandwich,
extra cold.
61
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:45,248
Oh, my usual. (chuckles)
62
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:46,541
You remembered.
63
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,710
You have a "usual"? I want one!
64
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,087
Hey, Patti Cakes. My usual, please.
65
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,547
You don't have a usual.
66
00:02:52,547 --> 00:02:55,675
And if you ever call me
"Patti Cakes" again,
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00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,051
you never will.
68
00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:58,928
Okay, what else we havin'?
69
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,014
-(stomach growls)
- That's tummy talk
70
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:03,433
for one slice of blueberry pie, please.
71
00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,852
Ah, starting with dessert. I love it.
72
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:07,645
Miss Patti, another customer just ordered
73
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:09,522
the last slice of blueberry pie.
74
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:11,024
Ain't that a shame?
75
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:12,358
Well, let's go home
76
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:13,860
and I'll whip you up your favorite.
77
00:03:13,860 --> 00:03:15,361
Oh, heck. For you, Tilly,
78
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,905
I'll bake a new pie from scratch.
79
00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:19,657
Splendid. It'll be worth the wait.
80
00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,659
And what can I get for you, ma'am?
81
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,203
I've lost my appetite.
82
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:26,789
And I'll have the meat-wich,
aka, my "usual."
83
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,168
Got it. One meat-wich coming right up.
84
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:33,171
(scoffs) It's not a usual
if she has to write it down.
85
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:36,466
Son, having a usual
isn't all it's cracked up to be.
86
00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,552
When I first came here,
I ordered a liverwurst sandwich,
87
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:42,138
and I never had the heart
to tell Patti I hated it.
88
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:44,474
They just kept coming and coming.
89
00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:46,434
Now I'm locked in.
90
00:03:46,434 --> 00:03:49,312
Well, I'd be upset, too,
if my usual was liverwurst,
91
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,606
but a meat-wich is meat-tastic.
92
00:03:51,606 --> 00:03:53,858
- I'll be fine.
- Sure you will, son.
93
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:55,485
Sure you will.
94
00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,903
REMY: Ah, let's see.
95
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,906
Valentino, Vance, Vanessa, Vosco.
96
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:01,908
What? No Vasquez?
97
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,910
Darn! Well, no matter.
98
00:04:03,910 --> 00:04:05,536
There's plenty of stuff here
for me to choose from.
99
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:07,914
I'm sure I'll find
the perfect gift for Vasquez.
100
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,332
Hmm.
101
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,793
This keychain
is perfect for holding my keys.
102
00:04:11,793 --> 00:04:13,378
(groans)
103
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:16,339
This mug is perfect for holding liquids.
104
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,132
(groans louder)
105
00:04:18,216 --> 00:04:22,011
This pen is perfect
for defending you from bad guys.
106
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,888
Hyah! (grunts)
107
00:04:24,138 --> 00:04:28,142
Oh! There are just too many good choices!
108
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,687
Here you go. One meat-wich.
109
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,940
Mm. My usual looks mighty fine.
110
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,192
And, Tilly, I'm going to get started
on your blueberry pie.
111
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:38,194
Oh, I can hardly wait.
112
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:41,698
Patti's pies are nothing short
of a spiritual experience.
113
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,616
She might just be my favorite baker.
114
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,576
Your favorite baker? Huh.
115
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:48,121
You know, since you love her pie so much,
116
00:04:48,121 --> 00:04:50,790
I'm, uh, gonna go see how she does it.
117
00:04:50,790 --> 00:04:52,083
They're gonna be friends.
118
00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:53,960
Wayne, you seen my rolling pin?
119
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,378
-(loud bang)
- Huh?
120
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:57,297
I don't know you, and I don't like you.
121
00:04:57,297 --> 00:05:00,216
- Okay.
- Now my Tilly seems to be mistaken
122
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,719
- about who makes the best pie.
- Okay.
123
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:05,805
So I challenge you to a pie bake off!
124
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,890
Then we'll see whose pie she likes more.
125
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,351
Are you sure you want to challenge me?
126
00:05:12,186 --> 00:05:14,439
The only reason
you won all them competitions
127
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,190
is because I wasn't there.
128
00:05:16,274 --> 00:05:19,652
But I'm here now, so preheat your oven!
129
00:05:19,736 --> 00:05:21,446
You're on.
130
00:05:21,446 --> 00:05:24,365
(gagging)
131
00:05:24,449 --> 00:05:26,659
How's your usual treating you, sir?
132
00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:29,662
-(groaning) So good.
- I'll leave you to it, then.
133
00:05:29,746 --> 00:05:32,790
Wait, wait, wait.
Aren't you going to ask me about my usual?
134
00:05:32,874 --> 00:05:34,792
I've never seen you order a usual.
135
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:37,045
In fact, I've never seen you.
136
00:05:37,045 --> 00:05:39,005
I'm new. My name's Wayne.
137
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:41,299
Well, then, (sighs) Wayne.
138
00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:42,800
It's short for "Duh-wayne."
139
00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:47,972
Right. I'll have another meat-wich,
aka, my usual.
140
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:50,433
- One... meat...
- Ah, ah, ah!
141
00:05:50,433 --> 00:05:51,809
The whole point of a usual
142
00:05:51,893 --> 00:05:53,436
is that you don't have to write it down.
143
00:05:53,436 --> 00:05:55,813
You just remember what I want.
144
00:05:55,897 --> 00:05:59,150
Don't. Don't write it.
145
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,276
Wayne...
146
00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:01,652
(stammers)
147
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,571
I'm just gonna draw a picture.
148
00:06:03,571 --> 00:06:05,823
-(groans)
- Look, man, you're confused.
149
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:09,035
Just think: meat-wich. Meat-wich.
150
00:06:09,035 --> 00:06:12,163
Which meat? Meat-wich! Got it?!
151
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,248
- Okay.
- Great.
152
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:15,625
Is he gone?
153
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,460
I got to get this out of my mouth.
154
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,920
-(gags)
- Gross, Dad.
155
00:06:22,507 --> 00:06:24,342
Gotta get that crust nice and flaky,
156
00:06:24,342 --> 00:06:25,843
just the way Tilly likes it.
157
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,970
(grunts)
158
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:30,848
Aw, blort. She's a pie-makin' machine.
159
00:06:30,932 --> 00:06:34,435
Oh, Tilly, you deserve the best pie
160
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,270
to fill your empty little tum-tum.
161
00:06:36,354 --> 00:06:37,939
I wish I could compete.
162
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:40,400
And I will, because I make Tilly's
163
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:43,861
favorite pie and she needs me! I hope.
164
00:06:43,945 --> 00:06:45,238
You're gonna keep mumbling to yourself,
165
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:46,864
or are you actually going to bake?
166
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:48,282
I'd be more concerned about
167
00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,618
that shabby crimping technique
you got going on.
168
00:06:50,618 --> 00:06:52,870
Clearly, you don't know
what you're talking about,
169
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:55,248
given that you're practically
juicing those berries.
170
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,833
You ain't never had a juicy pie?
171
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:58,876
(scoffs) You can talk all you want,
172
00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,586
but we'll see who's really the best.
173
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:02,463
-(bell dings)
- Sure will,
174
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:06,217
because it's time
to put these babies in the oven.
175
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,719
(groans) Need pie.
176
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,054
I feel you, sister.
177
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,723
I can't believe
I'm still waiting for my second usual.
178
00:07:12,807 --> 00:07:14,559
- Where's Wayne?
- WAYNE: Here.
179
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:17,895
-(gasps)
- So, uh, don't get mad or nothing,
180
00:07:17,979 --> 00:07:20,231
but I was having
trouble remembering your usual.
181
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:22,108
It just flew right out of my head.
182
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,943
I tried thinking of what you said,
183
00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:26,946
something about which meat...
which is the meat--
184
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,906
The meat-wich, Wayne!
185
00:07:28,990 --> 00:07:31,868
I couldn't remember,
so I brought you this!
186
00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,287
- Wayne!
- Son, be patient with him.
187
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,206
That's the face of a man
who's doing the best he can.
188
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:39,500
I'm sorry. I'm afraid my brain
189
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:41,544
can't hold nothing more than a tune.
190
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:44,130
Oh, "a tune"? Like a song? That's perfect.
191
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,923
Maybe this little diddy will help
192
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:47,550
you remember my usual.
193
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,928
♪ Meat-wich! Meat-wich
Turkey and pastrami ♪
194
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:53,806
♪ Roast beef and salami
It's a taste tsunami ♪
195
00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:56,851
♪ Only someone delusional
Wouldn't know it's my usual ♪
196
00:07:56,851 --> 00:08:00,146
♪ Meat-wich! Meat-wich
Turkey and pastrami ♪
197
00:08:02,148 --> 00:08:03,024
-♪ Roast beef and salami ♪-♪ It's a taste tsunami ♪
198
00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:07,195
♪ Only someone delusional
Wouldn't know it's my usual ♪
199
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,197
- Yeah!
- Wait, where'd Wayne go?
200
00:08:09,197 --> 00:08:12,700
Meat-wich! Meat-wich,
only someone delusional
201
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:14,660
wouldn't know it's your usual.
202
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,496
Thank you for helping me remember.
203
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:17,830
(whimpering)
204
00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:20,124
Ahh...!
205
00:08:20,208 --> 00:08:23,044
Cricket Green has a usual!
206
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:24,504
Yeah!
207
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,506
Okay. Since I can't decide
on what souvenir
208
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,965
Vasquez would like the most,
209
00:08:28,049 --> 00:08:31,093
I have decided to buy everything!
210
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,845
Do you offer gift-wrapping service?
211
00:08:32,929 --> 00:08:34,222
(timer rings)
212
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:37,475
Well, Patti Cakes, you played a good game,
213
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,310
but it looks like it's all over.
214
00:08:39,310 --> 00:08:41,979
(sniffs) Now that's a smell of victory.
215
00:08:42,063 --> 00:08:45,942
Nice effort,
but, uh, here's the real masterpiece.
216
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,444
Yeah, well, looks are only crusty.
217
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,862
Here, try it for yourself.
218
00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:52,865
Mm. (gasps)
219
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:59,580
♪ Pie-pie-pie! ♪
220
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:02,416
♪ Pie-pie-pie! ♪
221
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,168
Oh, wow!
222
00:09:04,418 --> 00:09:06,379
Ahh! (grunts) Where am I?
223
00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:09,006
Did you leave your body
and go to Pie Valhalla?
224
00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:10,967
My baking seems to do that to folks.
225
00:09:10,967 --> 00:09:14,011
This is bad.
If Tilly compares our two pies,
226
00:09:14,095 --> 00:09:16,806
she's never gonna need me
to bake for her again.
227
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:20,851
So... I can't let Tilly eat that pie!
228
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,062
- I'm gonna smash that pie!
- I will break you, woman!
229
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,481
(grunting)
230
00:09:26,816 --> 00:09:27,900
Yahh!
231
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,819
(grunts) Oh.
232
00:09:29,819 --> 00:09:31,654
Ha! You're gonna
have to do better than that
233
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:32,989
if you want to beat... Uh-oh.
234
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:34,323
- Yahh!
-(grunts)
235
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,075
-(grunting)
- SAUL: My water!
236
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,078
Gramma? Patti? What are you doing?
237
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:41,664
(gasps)
Tilly! I challenged Patti to a pie-off
238
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:44,000
because you were gushing
about how good hers was.
239
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,835
But I make your favorite sweets,
240
00:09:45,835 --> 00:09:48,087
and I'm the one
who's supposed to provide for ya.
241
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:50,006
You like my pie better, don't you?
242
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,257
Uh, Gramma...
243
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,675
Hey, guys, do you think we have room
244
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,843
in the Kludge for all of this?
245
00:09:53,843 --> 00:09:55,845
Whoa! Oh, no!
246
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:57,013
The pie!
247
00:09:58,973 --> 00:09:59,849
Yahh!
248
00:10:03,311 --> 00:10:06,397
You sacrificed your pie... to save mine?
249
00:10:06,397 --> 00:10:08,482
I'll be honest. I got jealous
250
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:10,776
when Tilly said
you were her favorite baker.
251
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:12,361
She's out here in the country now,
252
00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,863
and things are changing,
253
00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:16,532
and I was scared
she wouldn't need me anymore.
254
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:19,702
But regardless,
she deserves her favorite pie.
255
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,662
Oh, Gramma, I'll always need you.
256
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:22,830
Huh?
257
00:10:22,830 --> 00:10:24,498
You don't have to bake my favorite pie
258
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:26,876
to be my favorite Gramma. I love you.
259
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:29,170
Well, now that we all agree
my pie is the best,
260
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,588
why don't you all dig in?
261
00:10:30,588 --> 00:10:31,922
- ALL: Yeah!
- Swell.
262
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:33,215
Not you, Wayne.
263
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:36,135
TILLY: Ow, ow! Help!
(chuckles) Just kiddin'.
264
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:37,428
Here you go, Tilly.
265
00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:39,472
I cut you a piece with your eyeball.
266
00:10:39,472 --> 00:10:40,931
Thank you, Gramma.
267
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:42,725
Oh, I love pie.
268
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:45,102
Tell you the truth,
two meat-wiches was too many.
269
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:46,520
I'm pretty over my usual.
270
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,105
Uh-uh! There's no way
271
00:10:48,189 --> 00:10:50,441
I'm letting you eat dessert
before you clean your plate.
272
00:10:50,441 --> 00:10:52,109
BILL: I tried to tell you, son.
273
00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:54,904
Having a usual is a prison with no escape.
274
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:57,073
And now we're in it together.
275
00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:58,991
(evil laughter)
276
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,078
(evil laughter continues)
19062
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