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00:00:34,632 --> 00:00:36,978
(Speaking Japanese)
2
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,066
Ladies and gentlemen...
3
00:03:29,091 --> 00:03:30,600
what you have just seen...
4
00:03:30,901 --> 00:03:35,101
is an excerpt from a motion
picture that was made in Japan.
5
00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:39,075
I'm sitting here chatting
with Woody Allen
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00:03:39,100 --> 00:03:41,500
the author of this film.
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00:03:42,201 --> 00:03:46,802
Woody, is the word "author"
quite the correct word to use?
8
00:03:47,702 --> 00:03:50,002
What exactly did
you do with that film?
9
00:03:51,204 --> 00:03:54,933
Well, let me see if I can
explain it to you accurately.
10
00:03:55,874 --> 00:03:59,967
They wanted, in Hollywood, to
make the definitive spy picture.
11
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:02,288
And...
12
00:04:02,455 --> 00:04:03,502
they came to me...
13
00:04:03,595 --> 00:04:06,595
to supervise the project,
you know, because...
14
00:04:06,703 --> 00:04:08,064
I think that, um...
15
00:04:08,089 --> 00:04:09,436
if you know me at all...
16
00:04:09,461 --> 00:04:10,461
you know that...
17
00:04:10,750 --> 00:04:13,603
death is my bread,
and danger my butter...
18
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:15,582
No, danger's my bread
and death is my butter.
19
00:04:15,803 --> 00:04:17,985
No, no, wait...
danger's my bread...
20
00:04:18,169 --> 00:04:19,476
Death? No, death...
21
00:04:20,081 --> 00:04:21,461
No, I'm sorry, death is my...
22
00:04:21,519 --> 00:04:23,835
death and danger, are
my various breads and...
23
00:04:24,109 --> 00:04:25,379
various butters.
24
00:04:26,867 --> 00:04:27,881
So...
25
00:04:28,367 --> 00:04:30,200
we took a Japanese film...
26
00:04:31,044 --> 00:04:33,517
made in Japan, by Japanese
actors and actresses.
27
00:04:33,542 --> 00:04:34,549
We bought it.
28
00:04:34,610 --> 00:04:36,489
And it's a great
film, beautiful color...
29
00:04:36,514 --> 00:04:38,915
and there's raping, and
looting, and killing in it.
30
00:04:40,002 --> 00:04:42,555
And I took out
all... the soundtrack.
31
00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:43,995
I knocked out
all their voices...
32
00:04:44,179 --> 00:04:45,538
and I wrote a comedy.
33
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:48,246
I got together with some
actors and actresses, and we...
34
00:04:48,310 --> 00:04:49,888
put our comedy...
35
00:04:50,835 --> 00:04:53,815
in where there were
formerly raping and looting.
36
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:57,609
And the result is a movie where
people are running around...
37
00:04:57,783 --> 00:04:59,530
killing one another, and...
38
00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:01,740
you know, doing all those
James Bondian things.
39
00:05:01,847 --> 00:05:05,067
But what's coming out of their
mouth is something wholly other.
40
00:05:05,786 --> 00:05:07,513
I see, that's ah...
41
00:05:07,646 --> 00:05:08,886
To my recollection...
42
00:05:09,400 --> 00:05:11,259
I've never heard of
that being done before.
43
00:05:11,284 --> 00:05:12,877
Where the actors would be...
44
00:05:13,404 --> 00:05:16,483
acting one story,
and saying another?
45
00:05:16,523 --> 00:05:18,650
It was, actually, it was
done in "Gone with the Wind".
46
00:05:18,675 --> 00:05:20,155
Not many people
know that, that was...
47
00:05:20,179 --> 00:05:22,380
Those are Japanese...
people, actually...
48
00:05:22,405 --> 00:05:24,518
and we dubbed in
American voices on that...
49
00:05:24,597 --> 00:05:25,684
southern voices.
50
00:05:25,709 --> 00:05:27,508
- Really?
- Uh-huh, oh, yes.
51
00:05:28,526 --> 00:05:30,580
That was years ago,
though, during the war...
52
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,870
there had been many
naval bases and things, so...
53
00:05:32,997 --> 00:05:34,523
you know, it was kept quiet.
54
00:05:34,621 --> 00:05:36,577
Well, be that as it may...
55
00:05:37,085 --> 00:05:39,806
Do you think we could
run this film, now?
56
00:05:39,908 --> 00:05:41,508
Sure, watch this.
57
00:07:57,393 --> 00:07:59,133
Isn't she fantastic?!
58
00:07:59,447 --> 00:08:01,767
She was even better
in "The Sound of Music".
59
00:08:48,629 --> 00:08:50,695
- Dance, mister?
- After you.
60
00:11:09,248 --> 00:11:11,349
Name three presidents.
61
00:11:21,518 --> 00:11:23,476
Roosevelt, McKinley...
62
00:11:28,504 --> 00:11:29,712
Lincoln?
63
00:12:58,323 --> 00:12:59,621
Saracen pig!
64
00:12:59,645 --> 00:13:00,943
Spartan dog!
65
00:13:01,134 --> 00:13:02,241
Take this!
66
00:13:02,266 --> 00:13:03,427
And this!
67
00:13:12,998 --> 00:13:14,219
Roman cow!
68
00:13:16,039 --> 00:13:17,099
Russian snake!
69
00:13:18,377 --> 00:13:19,603
Spanish fly!
70
00:13:20,542 --> 00:13:22,175
Yeah, all right, talk!
71
00:13:22,533 --> 00:13:24,175
Talk, who sent you?
72
00:13:24,562 --> 00:13:25,662
Who sent you?
73
00:13:33,362 --> 00:13:34,435
Good one!
74
00:13:51,908 --> 00:13:53,760
All right, talk!
75
00:13:55,291 --> 00:13:56,291
Who sent you?
76
00:13:56,315 --> 00:13:57,848
Talk, Anglo-Saxon Hun!
77
00:14:20,905 --> 00:14:21,979
All right...
78
00:14:25,242 --> 00:14:26,575
Who do you work for?
79
00:14:27,477 --> 00:14:28,477
Nobody...
80
00:14:28,923 --> 00:14:30,328
I freelance.
81
00:14:30,969 --> 00:14:32,026
Beware...
82
00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:33,940
of the man...
83
00:14:34,486 --> 00:14:35,493
with...
84
00:14:35,991 --> 00:14:37,004
with...
85
00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:38,831
with...
86
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:40,581
with...
87
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:42,201
with...
88
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:43,828
with...
89
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:19,969
This thing has gotta
go off like clockwork.
90
00:15:20,332 --> 00:15:22,076
I want you to follow
every move I make.
91
00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:24,360
When I take a step,
you take a step.
92
00:15:26,255 --> 00:15:27,306
Excellent!
93
00:15:33,128 --> 00:15:35,766
Hey, over here! This way! Here!
94
00:15:44,631 --> 00:15:46,728
Hey, he's jumping
on the wrong car!
95
00:15:46,819 --> 00:15:47,861
Sure looks bad!
96
00:15:48,101 --> 00:15:50,367
This is your warden speaking...
97
00:15:50,612 --> 00:15:52,819
This is your warden speaking...
98
00:15:52,844 --> 00:15:56,555
Do not try to escape.
You haven't got a chance!
99
00:15:57,997 --> 00:16:00,104
We have the prison surrounded.
100
00:16:00,284 --> 00:16:02,386
No one can get over the wall.
101
00:16:02,683 --> 00:16:05,625
We'll have more reasons why
you'll never get away in a moment.
102
00:16:05,650 --> 00:16:07,851
But first, here's Len
Maxwell with the weather.
103
00:16:08,110 --> 00:16:09,510
Good evening, there's a cold...
104
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:11,317
Hey, what's going on up there?
105
00:16:11,342 --> 00:16:13,151
Coupled with the
high pressure system...
106
00:16:13,191 --> 00:16:15,297
which is prevalent in
our area at this time.
107
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,107
Storm warnings have been posted.
108
00:16:17,287 --> 00:16:19,333
Hey, you've got my vibrator!
109
00:16:19,358 --> 00:16:21,993
Theretofore, you
can not escape...
110
00:16:23,826 --> 00:16:26,133
Would you mind telling
me what this is all about?
111
00:16:31,298 --> 00:16:32,718
An oriental.
112
00:16:34,262 --> 00:16:35,464
Didn't you know?
113
00:16:37,100 --> 00:16:38,953
I'm flabbergasted!
114
00:16:39,352 --> 00:16:41,031
Thank you for standing by.
115
00:16:41,163 --> 00:16:42,532
Standing by?
116
00:16:43,553 --> 00:16:47,288
You're very kind to arrange my
escape and bring a car to pick me up.
117
00:16:47,313 --> 00:16:48,327
Sweetheart...
118
00:16:48,747 --> 00:16:51,740
I hate to tell you, but you're
talking to the wrong guy.
119
00:16:53,153 --> 00:16:54,385
Then who are you?
120
00:16:54,909 --> 00:16:56,896
Phil Moskowitz, loveable rogue.
121
00:17:00,903 --> 00:17:01,930
Watch it!
122
00:17:05,187 --> 00:17:06,484
First the jailbreak...
123
00:17:06,508 --> 00:17:08,015
then you try
leaping from the car.
124
00:17:08,303 --> 00:17:10,046
I think from here on in...
125
00:17:10,071 --> 00:17:12,527
you'd better let me
handle the wheel.
126
00:17:43,498 --> 00:17:44,511
Finished?
127
00:17:44,543 --> 00:17:45,563
Not yet.
128
00:18:36,853 --> 00:18:37,854
Hello.
129
00:18:37,879 --> 00:18:39,306
This is your office calling...
130
00:18:39,331 --> 00:18:41,928
I must inform you there's
been a daring jailbreak.
131
00:18:41,991 --> 00:18:44,697
Be on the lookout for an
escaped prisoner, female.
132
00:18:44,950 --> 00:18:48,336
Oh? Did you hear the one about the
cross-eyed snake who married a rope?
133
00:18:53,304 --> 00:18:55,727
You had us worried.
What have you been up to?
134
00:18:55,761 --> 00:18:58,569
Well, nothing much
really to report.
135
00:18:59,063 --> 00:19:00,169
By the way...
136
00:19:00,194 --> 00:19:03,270
I was almost shot and killed,
just before the opening credits.
137
00:19:12,783 --> 00:19:14,131
We need them both...
138
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:16,851
alive.
139
00:19:25,967 --> 00:19:27,427
Hubba-hubba.
140
00:19:29,141 --> 00:19:32,799
I feel so refreshed! I managed
to find a woman's dress...
141
00:19:32,824 --> 00:19:35,037
but I couldn't find a
stitch of underwear.
142
00:19:35,206 --> 00:19:36,795
No underwear, huh?
143
00:19:39,465 --> 00:19:41,362
I find that very interesting.
144
00:19:42,991 --> 00:19:44,052
Don't excite yourself...
145
00:19:44,077 --> 00:19:46,244
I never sleep with a
man who owns a dress.
146
00:19:46,331 --> 00:19:47,364
Me neither.
147
00:19:47,393 --> 00:19:48,813
I feel the same way.
148
00:19:56,471 --> 00:19:58,404
There's something I
really don't understand...
149
00:19:58,405 --> 00:19:59,405
What's that?
150
00:20:00,145 --> 00:20:01,797
Who arranged my escape?
151
00:20:01,961 --> 00:20:03,468
Have you no idea?
152
00:20:03,624 --> 00:20:06,951
I had an idea it was the
Mormon Tabernacle Choir...
153
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,553
but they had no motive.
154
00:20:09,267 --> 00:20:10,947
While I was in
jail, I received...
155
00:20:10,972 --> 00:20:12,393
a key and this note...
156
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,613
hidden in a package.
157
00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:19,180
"Tonight 2 a.m.
158
00:20:19,239 --> 00:20:20,902
Everything's okay for escape.
159
00:20:21,076 --> 00:20:22,467
Car at west corner."
160
00:20:23,385 --> 00:20:26,331
I think you must have
dropped on the wrong car.
161
00:20:28,524 --> 00:20:31,157
Yes, I guess that
really explains it.
162
00:20:31,376 --> 00:20:32,544
Well, enough of that.
163
00:20:33,188 --> 00:20:34,266
Of what?
164
00:20:34,667 --> 00:20:35,913
Would you like a drink?
165
00:20:36,387 --> 00:20:37,973
Would you like to
take another bath?
166
00:20:38,313 --> 00:20:41,351
Would you like to see my collection
of off-color, Italian hand gestures?
167
00:20:43,394 --> 00:20:45,821
Could I interest you in a
naked picture of Hugh Hefner?
168
00:20:46,042 --> 00:20:48,649
I never saw anyone who
thought of sex so much.
169
00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:51,606
You know, you're kinda
cute in your own way.
170
00:20:53,447 --> 00:20:55,285
I could really fall for you.
171
00:20:55,407 --> 00:20:58,340
Meet me in the bedroom in five
minutes and bring a cattle prod.
172
00:21:18,470 --> 00:21:19,756
Saracen pig!
173
00:21:20,972 --> 00:21:22,336
Spartan dog!
174
00:21:22,637 --> 00:21:23,800
Turkish taffy!
175
00:22:20,296 --> 00:22:21,296
Oh!
176
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:22,694
Oh, my leg.
177
00:22:37,475 --> 00:22:39,869
Hey, what's going
on here, where am I?
178
00:22:53,876 --> 00:22:55,276
What are we doing here?
179
00:22:57,448 --> 00:23:01,456
I am prostrating myself
before my master.
180
00:23:04,147 --> 00:23:06,695
Will the owner of the
rickshaw with license plate...
181
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,001
number 4-0-6, please remove it.
182
00:23:09,141 --> 00:23:10,924
Your coolie has a hernia.
183
00:23:13,498 --> 00:23:16,804
Good afternoon, I am the Grand
Exalted High Majah of Raspur...
184
00:23:16,829 --> 00:23:19,109
a non-existent, but
real-sounding country.
185
00:23:19,449 --> 00:23:20,549
Uh-huh.
186
00:23:20,778 --> 00:23:22,784
Yes, we're on a waiting list.
187
00:23:22,878 --> 00:23:25,938
As soon as there's an
opening on the map, we're next.
188
00:23:26,179 --> 00:23:28,273
It's rough with a new country.
189
00:23:28,321 --> 00:23:32,264
Do you realize the entire
population is still packed in crates?
190
00:23:32,580 --> 00:23:36,369
Good luck. I'm sure you'll
get your country on the globe.
191
00:23:36,581 --> 00:23:39,506
Thank you, I'm hoping for
something between Spain and Greece.
192
00:23:40,080 --> 00:23:42,169
It's really much warmer there.
193
00:23:43,278 --> 00:23:44,524
I hope you make it.
194
00:23:44,611 --> 00:23:45,984
I do, really.
195
00:23:46,009 --> 00:23:48,837
And you will help me to do so.
196
00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:52,381
You, Phil Moskowitz,
amiable zany, can help me.
197
00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:55,448
Gangsters have stolen my
secret recipe for egg salad.
198
00:23:55,581 --> 00:23:56,581
And not only that...
199
00:23:57,096 --> 00:24:00,342
they kill, they maim,
and they call information...
200
00:24:00,402 --> 00:24:02,752
for numbers they could
easily look up in the book.
201
00:24:03,599 --> 00:24:04,989
Here is their leader.
202
00:24:12,404 --> 00:24:15,781
The recipe is being held in the
safe of this bozo, Shepard Wong.
203
00:24:16,477 --> 00:24:18,466
By withholding the recipe...
204
00:24:18,544 --> 00:24:21,321
he intends to keep us off
the globe, but I say to him...
205
00:24:21,528 --> 00:24:22,821
fat chance!
206
00:24:24,933 --> 00:24:27,180
Wait a minute, how can
he keep you off the globe?
207
00:24:27,841 --> 00:24:28,993
I don't understand.
208
00:24:29,077 --> 00:24:32,771
It is written, he who makes the best
egg salad shall rule over heaven and earth.
209
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,032
Don't ask me why egg salad?
210
00:24:35,277 --> 00:24:36,498
I got enough aggravation.
211
00:24:36,506 --> 00:24:38,099
This is Shepard Wong's home.
212
00:24:38,104 --> 00:24:39,545
He lives in that piece of paper?
213
00:24:39,604 --> 00:24:41,438
No, you idiot, he's
got a regular house!
214
00:24:41,989 --> 00:24:42,989
I see.
215
00:24:43,540 --> 00:24:44,560
Well.
216
00:24:46,484 --> 00:24:48,233
Good afternoon, Mr. Moskowitz.
217
00:24:48,918 --> 00:24:50,355
Oh, no, not you again!
218
00:24:50,633 --> 00:24:51,730
Yes, yes...
219
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,398
this is Miss Teriyaki...
220
00:24:53,451 --> 00:24:55,118
one of our top-secret agents.
221
00:24:55,245 --> 00:24:57,111
Two years ago,
on this very spot...
222
00:24:57,136 --> 00:24:59,185
she became a virgin
for the fourth time.
223
00:24:59,773 --> 00:25:03,224
But seriously, Phil,
this is my sister Suki.
224
00:25:04,347 --> 00:25:05,520
A pleasure to meet you!
225
00:25:06,646 --> 00:25:08,367
That's a very unusual
pin you're wearing.
226
00:25:09,428 --> 00:25:11,575
If I remove it, one
of my parts falls off.
227
00:25:12,705 --> 00:25:15,897
These are your two assistants.
They will do anything for you.
228
00:25:16,805 --> 00:25:18,106
Anything?
229
00:25:18,405 --> 00:25:20,711
Get the recipe, ass!
230
00:25:47,108 --> 00:25:49,230
Don't look now, honey.
This is the obligatory scene...
231
00:25:49,255 --> 00:25:51,549
the director always has to
walk through with his wife.
232
00:25:54,328 --> 00:25:55,728
Egomaniac!
233
00:25:57,327 --> 00:26:00,077
You're kinda cute.
You've got a great body.
234
00:26:01,055 --> 00:26:02,709
I could tear your
clothes off and make...
235
00:26:02,734 --> 00:26:04,622
violent love to you
right here and now.
236
00:26:07,828 --> 00:26:09,535
Well, I'll go along with that.
237
00:26:11,506 --> 00:26:14,881
Oh, Phil, all you ever
think about is sex!
238
00:26:16,189 --> 00:26:19,223
Look at the smoke
stack on that ship!
239
00:26:23,932 --> 00:26:26,085
That's Shepard
Wong's gambling ship.
240
00:26:26,185 --> 00:26:28,839
I'd call him a sadistic,
sodomistic, necrophile...
241
00:26:28,864 --> 00:26:30,605
but that's beating a dead horse.
242
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:49,820
Egad! Fuh!
243
00:26:49,845 --> 00:26:52,076
How do you like that?
I threw another crap.
244
00:27:00,151 --> 00:27:01,784
Amazing streak of luck, sir!
245
00:27:04,145 --> 00:27:05,213
Not luck.
246
00:27:05,874 --> 00:27:06,980
It's skill.
247
00:27:07,606 --> 00:27:09,460
Sorry, but I must leave now.
248
00:27:11,226 --> 00:27:12,311
So soon, sir?
249
00:27:12,428 --> 00:27:14,975
Yes, you see,
someone's waiting for me.
250
00:27:15,652 --> 00:27:17,011
You cash in my chips.
251
00:27:18,183 --> 00:27:19,420
And now, goodbye.
252
00:27:20,947 --> 00:27:22,746
You can't quit now,
sir. You're winning!
253
00:27:25,073 --> 00:27:26,294
You're too far ahead.
254
00:27:27,753 --> 00:27:29,257
Don't tell me what I can do...
255
00:27:29,442 --> 00:27:31,353
or I'll have my
mustache eat your beard.
256
00:27:33,667 --> 00:27:35,046
Well, it a world.
257
00:27:36,994 --> 00:27:38,401
You interrupt Shepard Wong?
258
00:27:38,557 --> 00:27:39,627
That's a thing to do?
259
00:27:39,995 --> 00:27:41,595
Fearful experience, sir...
260
00:27:42,270 --> 00:27:43,450
He said...
261
00:27:43,476 --> 00:27:45,456
his mustache was
gonna eat my beard!
262
00:27:51,796 --> 00:27:54,699
I also think that he suspects
that you have the recipe.
263
00:27:55,095 --> 00:27:57,396
Use any method you
can, but don't let him leave!
264
00:28:03,197 --> 00:28:04,837
Here are your winnings, sir.
265
00:28:04,944 --> 00:28:05,749
Thank you...
266
00:28:05,887 --> 00:28:07,369
thank you very much.
267
00:28:07,436 --> 00:28:09,199
And here's a little
something for yourself.
268
00:28:09,224 --> 00:28:10,676
Can you spare us forty?
269
00:28:11,504 --> 00:28:14,026
I'll just put all
of my earnings...
270
00:28:14,470 --> 00:28:15,891
in this suitcase...
271
00:28:16,436 --> 00:28:19,418
and close it with one
quick zip, like this.
272
00:28:25,845 --> 00:28:26,845
Perfect!
273
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,699
You can't leave now, sir.
274
00:28:30,364 --> 00:28:31,465
Why not?
275
00:28:32,024 --> 00:28:34,225
I have everything
I need, right here.
276
00:28:35,475 --> 00:28:37,018
Oh, but we have women on board.
277
00:28:37,038 --> 00:28:38,483
Answer for yourself
the question...
278
00:28:38,508 --> 00:28:41,471
is true what they say
about oriental girls?
279
00:28:43,198 --> 00:28:44,899
Don't mind if I do.
280
00:28:46,166 --> 00:28:47,565
Lead the way.
281
00:28:56,514 --> 00:28:59,335
The last time I made love
on a ship was the Titanic...
282
00:28:59,586 --> 00:29:01,319
unfortunately,
we never finished.
283
00:29:04,202 --> 00:29:05,427
Oh, you're a camp.
284
00:29:08,602 --> 00:29:10,201
Now, watch this.
285
00:29:14,917 --> 00:29:16,157
Hello.
286
00:29:17,641 --> 00:29:18,641
How'd you do?
287
00:29:20,522 --> 00:29:21,536
Hi there.
288
00:29:23,443 --> 00:29:24,496
Hello.
289
00:29:26,002 --> 00:29:27,002
Mom!
290
00:29:28,977 --> 00:29:30,377
What are you doing here, Mother?
291
00:29:32,202 --> 00:29:33,477
He never writes.
292
00:29:36,083 --> 00:29:37,563
So when I didn't
hear from you...
293
00:29:37,588 --> 00:29:39,816
I decided to take
an ocean cruise.
294
00:29:41,114 --> 00:29:42,794
Oh, this is really your mother?
295
00:29:43,002 --> 00:29:44,155
Yes, it is.
296
00:29:44,569 --> 00:29:45,655
Isn't she sweet?
297
00:29:47,156 --> 00:29:49,322
Mother and I have
always been very close.
298
00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:51,729
And the best
thing about her is...
299
00:29:51,770 --> 00:29:53,069
she takes a good punch!
300
00:29:58,691 --> 00:29:59,905
He hit her, boss!
301
00:30:01,430 --> 00:30:03,152
That's the way
to treat a mother?
302
00:30:16,657 --> 00:30:18,490
So, you took our
picture with that.
303
00:30:18,796 --> 00:30:20,537
You had a hidden
camera, I saw it.
304
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,124
I want some of them.
305
00:30:24,332 --> 00:30:25,425
How many do you want?
306
00:30:25,450 --> 00:30:26,573
Two 8 x 10's.
307
00:30:29,106 --> 00:30:32,225
Yes, I took your picture with
a camera hidden in that case...
308
00:30:34,106 --> 00:30:35,788
the one I threw overboard.
309
00:30:36,206 --> 00:30:37,727
Now let's stop
kidding each other.
310
00:30:37,752 --> 00:30:40,072
You have the
recipe, and I want it.
311
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:43,315
What recipe?
312
00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:44,609
You know...
313
00:30:44,775 --> 00:30:46,429
the recipe for the
great egg salad.
314
00:30:48,715 --> 00:30:51,289
A salad so delicious
you could plotz.
315
00:30:53,354 --> 00:30:55,007
I spit on your recipe!
316
00:31:10,902 --> 00:31:12,124
The jokes on you.
317
00:31:12,149 --> 00:31:14,449
I threw the suitcase
overboard to my henchman.
318
00:31:14,515 --> 00:31:15,955
He's right out there!
319
00:31:16,209 --> 00:31:17,284
Hey, boss!
320
00:31:17,436 --> 00:31:18,504
Hey, boss!
321
00:31:18,964 --> 00:31:20,759
Hey, boss! I got the bag!
322
00:31:20,783 --> 00:31:22,869
Oh, I'm such a
terrific henchman!
323
00:31:24,809 --> 00:31:26,465
That's a very special camera.
324
00:31:26,624 --> 00:31:29,009
It takes pictures of you
with all your clothes on.
325
00:31:29,357 --> 00:31:31,417
When they're developed,
you come out naked!
326
00:31:31,843 --> 00:31:33,676
You lay one single
finger around me...
327
00:31:34,936 --> 00:31:37,282
and I'll peddle them in
every schoolyard in town.
328
00:31:42,616 --> 00:31:43,710
So you see...
329
00:31:43,870 --> 00:31:46,202
you'd better not mess around
with me unless you're all...
330
00:31:46,227 --> 00:31:48,009
completely unashamed
of your bodies.
331
00:31:48,085 --> 00:31:49,437
Why you...
332
00:31:52,952 --> 00:31:54,549
You win this round...
333
00:31:55,192 --> 00:31:57,493
but we shall meet
again, Wing Fat.
334
00:31:59,386 --> 00:32:00,953
Not if I see you first.
335
00:32:01,285 --> 00:32:03,386
And now, I'm going home...
336
00:32:03,836 --> 00:32:05,262
develop those
pictures, and have...
337
00:32:05,287 --> 00:32:07,336
a few laughs at
your chubby thighs.
338
00:32:08,066 --> 00:32:09,665
You'll never get that recipe!
339
00:32:09,873 --> 00:32:11,595
We shall see, Shepard Wong!
340
00:32:21,487 --> 00:32:22,540
Taxi!
341
00:32:23,667 --> 00:32:25,606
Kidnap us, please,
and step on it!
342
00:32:36,195 --> 00:32:37,715
Did you say "kidnap us"?
343
00:32:37,848 --> 00:32:39,188
Yes, that's right.
344
00:32:40,115 --> 00:32:41,308
Hey, boss.
345
00:32:41,348 --> 00:32:44,242
I picked up a fare downtown,
they want to be abducted.
346
00:32:44,681 --> 00:32:45,981
They got no luggage.
347
00:32:47,647 --> 00:32:48,858
Act casual...
348
00:32:49,038 --> 00:32:50,364
when I tell you this.
349
00:32:51,757 --> 00:32:52,855
Go ahead.
350
00:32:53,414 --> 00:32:54,995
See that driver up there?
351
00:32:56,116 --> 00:32:58,086
Don't look now, but I
think he's a fruitcake.
352
00:32:58,152 --> 00:32:59,356
What'd you say, mac?
353
00:33:01,715 --> 00:33:02,967
I didn't mean it.
354
00:33:19,096 --> 00:33:21,158
You must be very
quick on the draw...
355
00:33:21,251 --> 00:33:22,371
with a gun.
356
00:33:22,644 --> 00:33:24,351
What gave you that idea?
357
00:33:25,678 --> 00:33:27,689
'Cause you have very fast hands.
358
00:33:32,678 --> 00:33:34,591
You were right in
your original thought.
359
00:33:34,885 --> 00:33:36,104
I am a little weird.
360
00:35:33,907 --> 00:35:35,220
Hello my friend...
361
00:35:35,719 --> 00:35:37,340
are you ready for the big event?
362
00:35:42,688 --> 00:35:44,301
Look who came to see you!
363
00:35:49,799 --> 00:35:50,799
Good evening.
364
00:35:55,887 --> 00:35:56,995
It's all set.
365
00:36:11,827 --> 00:36:12,847
Cobra...
366
00:36:13,095 --> 00:36:15,860
I don't like snakes, you
have to pamper 'em so much?
367
00:36:15,885 --> 00:36:17,220
For cryin' out loud.
368
00:36:19,022 --> 00:36:21,475
Don't say anything
to upset my snake!
369
00:36:21,689 --> 00:36:24,089
This is the most
important day of his life.
370
00:36:24,789 --> 00:36:26,389
It's his wedding night...
371
00:36:26,414 --> 00:36:27,903
and he's very nervous.
372
00:36:27,928 --> 00:36:30,007
He's been looking
forward to this...
373
00:36:31,071 --> 00:36:32,864
for a very long time!
374
00:36:32,953 --> 00:36:36,192
He's-he's going
to marry a chicken.
375
00:36:37,114 --> 00:36:38,140
Here she is!
376
00:36:39,435 --> 00:36:41,136
Here comes the bride!
377
00:36:50,984 --> 00:36:52,816
I always cry at weddings!
378
00:37:08,532 --> 00:37:10,532
Shepard Wong has
really got us now.
379
00:37:10,832 --> 00:37:11,973
Not Wong!
380
00:37:16,832 --> 00:37:20,273
You misunderstand.
I've invited you here.
381
00:37:21,333 --> 00:37:22,445
Not Wong.
382
00:37:24,266 --> 00:37:25,686
I am Wing Fat.
383
00:37:27,967 --> 00:37:29,567
Wong is my competitor.
384
00:37:30,434 --> 00:37:31,831
Well, two Wongs...
385
00:37:32,594 --> 00:37:33,900
don't make a Wright.
386
00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,521
For that joke you
should only drop dead.
387
00:37:40,913 --> 00:37:42,447
You are Phil Moskowitz.
388
00:37:43,105 --> 00:37:45,145
I too, am out after
the great recipe.
389
00:37:45,900 --> 00:37:48,614
I want the map that you
made of Wong's house...
390
00:37:49,461 --> 00:37:51,035
and the specifications
of the safe!
391
00:37:51,060 --> 00:37:52,540
Never, not on your bird.
392
00:37:54,418 --> 00:37:55,564
Oh...
393
00:37:56,722 --> 00:37:58,104
My men can make you talk.
394
00:37:59,461 --> 00:38:00,662
For your own sake.
395
00:38:02,895 --> 00:38:04,776
Two Wongs don't make a Wright...
396
00:38:04,801 --> 00:38:05,844
Yuck!
397
00:38:06,014 --> 00:38:07,967
Nobody knows...
398
00:38:08,054 --> 00:38:10,314
the trouble I've seen.
399
00:38:10,424 --> 00:38:13,917
Nobody knows my sorrow.
400
00:38:13,956 --> 00:38:18,603
Nobody knows the
trouble I've seen...
401
00:38:18,628 --> 00:38:20,804
and [??].
402
00:38:24,104 --> 00:38:26,431
Shall I connect both
of you to this wire?
403
00:38:27,369 --> 00:38:29,291
You can fry them this way, too.
404
00:38:47,387 --> 00:38:48,851
You gonna tell us the plans...
405
00:38:48,931 --> 00:38:50,497
or where the map is, huh?
406
00:39:09,354 --> 00:39:11,474
What do you want
the plans for, anyway?
407
00:39:11,756 --> 00:39:13,542
To steal the recipe from Wong...
408
00:39:14,252 --> 00:39:15,541
and sell it back to him.
409
00:39:15,566 --> 00:39:17,186
That's how I make my living.
410
00:39:18,728 --> 00:39:20,718
All right, let's
start with the girl.
411
00:39:26,060 --> 00:39:27,060
Wait!
412
00:39:27,941 --> 00:39:30,011
No threat will
ever make me tell...
413
00:39:30,642 --> 00:39:32,455
that the plans
are in her hairpin.
414
00:39:33,067 --> 00:39:36,368
You idiot! I can't
take you anywhere!
415
00:39:37,915 --> 00:39:40,689
I don't see any plans
here, just some cooties.
416
00:39:41,429 --> 00:39:42,976
You fool, it's in the back!
417
00:39:46,668 --> 00:39:48,428
I can't read this,
it's too small.
418
00:39:48,453 --> 00:39:50,253
Well, I just happen to
have a magnifying glass
419
00:39:50,277 --> 00:39:52,499
in my hand right here
for your pleasure, boss.
420
00:39:53,906 --> 00:39:56,360
We're convinced the
recipe is in Wong's safe.
421
00:39:56,966 --> 00:39:59,179
What'd you tell him all
those things for, huh?
422
00:39:59,204 --> 00:40:02,804
That won't do them any good, they'll
need a professional safe cracker.
423
00:40:07,224 --> 00:40:08,887
A professional safe cracker?
424
00:40:09,210 --> 00:40:10,942
And I can provide one.
425
00:40:11,930 --> 00:40:12,930
Really?
426
00:40:13,017 --> 00:40:14,297
And she's beautiful.
427
00:40:14,792 --> 00:40:16,059
Cut these ropes...
428
00:40:16,687 --> 00:40:18,857
and you and I will
form a partnership.
429
00:40:19,447 --> 00:40:20,920
Then we can help each other.
430
00:40:25,645 --> 00:40:26,651
Loin...
431
00:40:26,958 --> 00:40:27,985
Flank...
432
00:40:28,220 --> 00:40:29,271
Sirloin...
433
00:40:29,904 --> 00:40:32,697
Why this is the best shipment
of meat we've had this year.
434
00:40:33,350 --> 00:40:34,398
Now, boss...
435
00:40:34,423 --> 00:40:37,030
aren't you glad you gave
up being a vegetarian?
436
00:40:37,405 --> 00:40:38,776
The store is open.
437
00:40:39,954 --> 00:40:42,684
All right, girls, get out
there and look appetizing
438
00:41:00,860 --> 00:41:02,120
You're the new fillet.
439
00:41:02,154 --> 00:41:03,567
The boss wants to see you.
440
00:41:03,681 --> 00:41:04,914
Remember...
441
00:41:06,065 --> 00:41:07,585
no hickeys!
442
00:41:12,533 --> 00:41:13,733
Approach me.
443
00:41:23,268 --> 00:41:25,955
What in the world is keeping
that safe-cracking girl of yours?
444
00:41:26,438 --> 00:41:29,012
She'll get in touch with us as
soon as she can find the safe.
445
00:41:29,037 --> 00:41:30,038
In touch, how?
446
00:41:32,130 --> 00:41:33,758
She's wearing a micro-talkie.
447
00:41:34,830 --> 00:41:35,830
A micro-talkie?
448
00:41:47,903 --> 00:41:49,963
You mean she's
wearing a transmitter?
449
00:41:51,377 --> 00:41:53,192
It's on her all the time.
450
00:41:53,217 --> 00:41:54,230
Almost.
451
00:42:05,530 --> 00:42:06,784
I wanna thank you...
452
00:42:07,157 --> 00:42:08,771
for clearing up my sinuses.
453
00:42:15,633 --> 00:42:17,132
It was glorious!
454
00:42:17,432 --> 00:42:18,559
Would you like to...
455
00:42:18,952 --> 00:42:20,853
see it again on instant replay?
456
00:42:21,432 --> 00:42:23,405
Now that I've
given you my all...
457
00:42:23,430 --> 00:42:25,398
I want something from you.
458
00:42:25,533 --> 00:42:26,606
What is it?
459
00:42:26,734 --> 00:42:29,814
I haven't had a good
egg-salad sandwich in years.
460
00:42:29,933 --> 00:42:31,915
I mean, a really good one...
461
00:42:32,127 --> 00:42:33,382
you know what I mean?
462
00:42:35,034 --> 00:42:37,776
You want egg salad,
I'll give you egg salad!
463
00:42:37,856 --> 00:42:39,389
Did you bring the mayonnaise?
464
00:42:39,833 --> 00:42:40,853
Mayonnaise?
465
00:42:40,878 --> 00:42:43,480
I told you to take a jar!
466
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,111
Boy, is he weird.
467
00:42:48,880 --> 00:42:51,660
Never mind, if there's
none on board, forget it.
468
00:42:51,685 --> 00:42:53,034
We'll use Miracle Whip.
469
00:43:08,605 --> 00:43:10,778
Hello there. How are you? Hello.
470
00:43:10,832 --> 00:43:13,013
Hi there, folks, I'm
cheerfully refunded.
471
00:43:13,038 --> 00:43:15,081
Why thank you, sir, I bent over.
472
00:43:16,584 --> 00:43:19,315
Hello there, turn around,
we just stole your money.
473
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:53,920
Woody, because this story...
474
00:43:53,945 --> 00:43:56,072
is a little bit
difficult to follow...
475
00:43:56,329 --> 00:43:58,379
would you give the
audience and myself...
476
00:43:58,404 --> 00:44:01,033
a brief run-down on
what's gone on so far?
477
00:44:01,639 --> 00:44:02,639
No.
478
00:44:08,678 --> 00:44:10,972
Hey, Saul, what
time's the mutiny?
479
00:44:11,318 --> 00:44:14,058
Whenever you come,
we'll start, that's all.
480
00:45:33,245 --> 00:45:34,612
Hello-hello.
481
00:45:34,646 --> 00:45:35,991
This is agent 5.
482
00:45:36,611 --> 00:45:38,404
I'm aboard Shepard Wong's ship.
483
00:45:38,429 --> 00:45:40,132
Have located safe below.
484
00:45:40,915 --> 00:45:42,335
Bring plenty of dynamite.
485
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:43,666
It's a big mother.
486
00:45:44,544 --> 00:45:45,746
Here, give me that!
487
00:45:46,091 --> 00:45:47,537
What are you up to?
488
00:45:54,587 --> 00:45:56,347
What have we here?
489
00:46:02,519 --> 00:46:04,310
It's Suki, she's found the safe!
490
00:46:04,335 --> 00:46:06,477
Guess we'll have to
start all over again.
491
00:46:07,267 --> 00:46:08,525
We have only two days!
492
00:46:08,568 --> 00:46:10,907
We can't possibly sneak
on board with sailors...
493
00:46:11,950 --> 00:46:13,029
and guards...
494
00:46:13,489 --> 00:46:14,836
everywhere all over the ship.
495
00:46:15,515 --> 00:46:16,549
What are we gonna do?
496
00:46:17,935 --> 00:46:19,057
Leave it to me.
497
00:46:24,034 --> 00:46:25,496
Why that ingrate...
498
00:46:25,660 --> 00:46:28,329
after you freely gave
her your body, boss.
499
00:46:28,776 --> 00:46:29,844
Trollop!
500
00:46:29,982 --> 00:46:31,482
Aw, that too bad.
501
00:46:33,355 --> 00:46:34,888
I was going to marry her.
502
00:46:36,743 --> 00:46:39,681
I already put a deposit
on twin cemetery plots.
503
00:47:06,290 --> 00:47:07,746
Hello. Hello.
504
00:47:07,933 --> 00:47:09,126
Nice day!
505
00:47:12,923 --> 00:47:15,225
Seriously, I'm from
the quarantine office...
506
00:47:15,419 --> 00:47:17,173
and I'm here to
examine the ship.
507
00:47:17,771 --> 00:47:19,531
We're gonna fumigate this boat.
508
00:47:20,990 --> 00:47:24,552
No one is allowed back
aboard 'til I give the all-clear.
509
00:47:24,714 --> 00:47:26,654
If you inhale this
gas, you'll be...
510
00:47:26,721 --> 00:47:28,881
dead so fast it
won't even be funny.
511
00:47:29,074 --> 00:47:30,673
And now if you'll excuse me...
512
00:47:31,605 --> 00:47:33,805
Okay, babies, we
gonna split now...
513
00:47:33,872 --> 00:47:36,553
That's Sneezy, Sleepy, Doc...
514
00:47:36,613 --> 00:47:39,473
Grumpy, Happy, Bashful...
515
00:47:39,654 --> 00:47:41,958
Dopey, Snow White...
516
00:47:42,774 --> 00:47:43,875
Snow White?
517
00:47:43,900 --> 00:47:46,685
Yeah, he too much,
someday his prince will come.
518
00:47:50,074 --> 00:47:51,873
Cool it! There's
somebody coming.
519
00:47:55,435 --> 00:47:57,166
Okay, okay, gather 'round...
520
00:47:58,448 --> 00:48:01,688
Oh, hey you guys, you wanna
buy a copy of "Mohammed Speaks"?
521
00:48:01,756 --> 00:48:04,157
No, no, I subscribe.
Leave me alone.
522
00:48:20,829 --> 00:48:21,889
Let's go.
523
00:48:22,268 --> 00:48:23,408
What about the girl?
524
00:48:23,477 --> 00:48:25,475
Well, we can take her
with us if you want to...
525
00:48:25,678 --> 00:48:28,278
but you wouldn't really know
what to do with a girl, would you?
526
00:48:35,977 --> 00:48:37,438
Oh! Hey, you!
527
00:48:37,798 --> 00:48:40,167
Fumigator man!
Everyone's off the ship.
528
00:48:41,390 --> 00:48:42,404
Oh.
529
00:48:43,010 --> 00:48:44,056
Are you sure?
530
00:48:44,149 --> 00:48:45,418
You sure there's no one left?
531
00:48:46,161 --> 00:48:49,034
Yes, there's no one left,
except maybe the rats.
532
00:48:49,083 --> 00:48:50,650
You're absolutely positive?
533
00:48:50,730 --> 00:48:52,650
Hey! What are you
doing back there?
534
00:48:52,939 --> 00:48:54,107
Make pretty smoke!
535
00:49:29,281 --> 00:49:30,421
Suki, where are you?
536
00:49:30,446 --> 00:49:31,861
I don't think I've
looked down here.
537
00:49:31,886 --> 00:49:33,204
Oh, this must be it.
538
00:49:34,085 --> 00:49:35,285
Well, that wasn't it!
539
00:49:43,108 --> 00:49:44,127
Suki?
540
00:49:45,063 --> 00:49:47,354
Phil, help me!
541
00:49:48,424 --> 00:49:49,583
- Phil!
- Suki!
542
00:49:49,637 --> 00:49:50,991
- Phil!
- Suki!
543
00:49:51,022 --> 00:49:52,092
- Phil!
- Suki!
544
00:49:52,117 --> 00:49:53,085
- Suki!
- Suki!
545
00:49:53,110 --> 00:49:54,191
- I'm Suki!
- Phil!
546
00:49:54,216 --> 00:49:55,216
- Phil!
- Suki!
547
00:49:55,245 --> 00:49:56,131
- Suki!
- Phil!
548
00:49:56,156 --> 00:49:57,137
- Suki!
- Phil!
549
00:49:57,162 --> 00:49:57,963
- Phil!
- Phil!
550
00:49:57,988 --> 00:49:59,023
Suki!
551
00:50:04,235 --> 00:50:05,579
Don't make a move, my darling.
552
00:50:05,603 --> 00:50:07,043
I'll be right back
with the dynamite.
553
00:50:07,068 --> 00:50:09,265
I can't break the door down
because of my bursitus.
554
00:50:09,469 --> 00:50:10,743
Yeah, get the dynamite...
555
00:50:11,716 --> 00:50:14,344
And could you also
bring me a regular coffee...
556
00:50:14,369 --> 00:50:15,962
and a toasted corn muffin?
557
00:50:15,987 --> 00:50:18,604
Wing Fat! Wing Fat!
Wing Wat! Wing Wat.
558
00:50:26,622 --> 00:50:28,029
Hey! Give me some
of the dynamite...
559
00:50:28,054 --> 00:50:30,033
and I want a regular coffee
and a toasted corn muffin.
560
00:50:30,057 --> 00:50:31,340
Oh, if you're ordering
out, give me a ham...
561
00:50:31,364 --> 00:50:33,004
and Swiss on rye,
with butter and lettuce.
562
00:50:33,028 --> 00:50:34,803
And I'll have a
hamburger, medium.
563
00:50:43,263 --> 00:50:44,577
I got the dynamite.
564
00:50:55,332 --> 00:50:56,878
I'll be right in, my dearest.
565
00:51:06,900 --> 00:51:08,260
Oh, thank God!
566
00:51:30,594 --> 00:51:31,706
I'll be all right.
567
00:51:33,702 --> 00:51:35,262
Suki-Suki, are you all right?
568
00:51:37,048 --> 00:51:39,688
People from the quarantine office
are fumigating the ship now, sir.
569
00:51:40,344 --> 00:51:41,577
Then you mean...
570
00:51:42,443 --> 00:51:43,689
everyone's off the ship?
571
00:51:43,714 --> 00:51:45,257
Except girl. She dead.
572
00:51:45,343 --> 00:51:46,929
I kill her with pretty smoke.
573
00:51:47,810 --> 00:51:50,290
I didn't order any fumigation!
It's Wing fool, you Fat!
574
00:51:50,863 --> 00:51:52,696
I mean, Wing Fat, you fool!
575
00:51:52,980 --> 00:51:54,280
He's after the recipe!
576
00:51:55,117 --> 00:51:56,194
Back to the ship!
577
00:52:25,966 --> 00:52:27,568
Listen to me, we have no time!
578
00:52:27,593 --> 00:52:29,125
- Blow it up!
- Are you kidding?
579
00:52:29,150 --> 00:52:30,951
The recipe'll be blown up, too!
580
00:52:31,993 --> 00:52:33,527
Suki, what's the matter?
581
00:52:33,552 --> 00:52:35,880
- Steady, Suki, are you all right?
- I'll be fine.
582
00:52:52,145 --> 00:52:54,048
Hey boss, you're still
carsick back there?
583
00:52:54,073 --> 00:52:56,153
Hurry up, will ya! I'm
the one sitting next to him!
584
00:53:06,492 --> 00:53:08,098
Let's go men... banzai!
585
00:53:08,232 --> 00:53:11,118
Ahhh... banzai... will
somebody tell him.
586
00:53:19,084 --> 00:53:20,263
What's the matter?
587
00:53:20,696 --> 00:53:22,819
Can I be excused? I
have to go to the bathroom.
588
00:53:23,097 --> 00:53:24,752
- In the middle of a robbery?!
- Yes!
589
00:53:24,837 --> 00:53:26,195
Well, if you must, you must.
590
00:53:26,220 --> 00:53:27,732
Here's a tip for the attendant.
591
00:53:27,885 --> 00:53:30,417
- You wanna come with me, Teri?
- You're gonna have to hang on.
592
00:53:30,419 --> 00:53:31,645
It'll only be a minute.
593
00:53:32,523 --> 00:53:35,469
I'm so nauseous. How
soon are we gonna be there?
594
00:53:41,537 --> 00:53:42,821
What's the matter?
595
00:53:42,877 --> 00:53:44,537
The mask, I can't breathe!
596
00:53:44,562 --> 00:53:47,191
No, leave the mask on! You
won't be able to breathe without it!
597
00:53:47,216 --> 00:53:50,091
Stick it out! We are
a team. Remember...
598
00:53:50,220 --> 00:53:55,218
Love has found me,
and I have found a way...
599
00:53:55,243 --> 00:53:56,193
and even...
600
00:53:56,218 --> 00:53:58,437
All right-all right.
Chill-chill, I won't sing.
601
00:54:05,073 --> 00:54:06,608
Men, there's a mouse on board!
602
00:54:06,715 --> 00:54:07,735
A mouse!
603
00:54:10,479 --> 00:54:11,761
I was only fooling.
604
00:54:24,041 --> 00:54:25,509
Drill this last little thing.
605
00:54:25,534 --> 00:54:27,527
That's great, that
should be the last one.
606
00:54:27,600 --> 00:54:29,640
Now, I'll just give it a
little tap with the hammer.
607
00:54:29,665 --> 00:54:31,225
All right, give it a
tap, give it a tap.
608
00:54:31,249 --> 00:54:32,249
Not too hard.
609
00:54:32,419 --> 00:54:33,952
Great! It fell right out.
610
00:54:34,801 --> 00:54:37,302
Ease up, I'll just put my
hand in and reach up there...
611
00:54:37,342 --> 00:54:38,949
Yeah, reach up
and open the lock...
612
00:54:39,796 --> 00:54:41,402
Here guys. Wait-wait...
613
00:54:41,815 --> 00:54:43,686
- You got it?
- Yes, I got it, I got it...
614
00:54:43,928 --> 00:54:44,942
- Great!
- Ow!
615
00:54:45,593 --> 00:54:46,862
Great, that should do it.
616
00:54:46,887 --> 00:54:48,487
- Now, I open the door!
- At last!
617
00:54:49,141 --> 00:54:50,314
I can't wait!
618
00:54:51,915 --> 00:54:53,317
Oh, no...
619
00:54:53,342 --> 00:54:55,103
Oh, this is ridiculous.
620
00:54:55,128 --> 00:54:56,470
Who do they think we are...
621
00:54:56,495 --> 00:54:58,235
that we have all day?
622
00:55:02,307 --> 00:55:04,056
What's the matter,
Suki? Remember...
623
00:55:04,138 --> 00:55:06,416
Love has found me...
624
00:55:06,441 --> 00:55:07,735
No-no, that's okay.
625
00:55:16,183 --> 00:55:17,183
This is 20.
626
00:55:19,224 --> 00:55:20,224
This is 30.
627
00:55:21,905 --> 00:55:23,424
- Go ahead.
- 40.
628
00:55:25,103 --> 00:55:26,103
50.
629
00:55:26,204 --> 00:55:27,784
- More.
- 60?
630
00:55:28,684 --> 00:55:30,444
Is he gonna go through
the whole alphabet?
631
00:55:30,445 --> 00:55:32,304
- Now go right to 40.
- 40?
632
00:55:32,485 --> 00:55:34,305
I ain't talking for
my health, Jack.
633
00:55:34,380 --> 00:55:35,459
Okay...
634
00:55:36,125 --> 00:55:37,131
there, I got it.
635
00:55:37,191 --> 00:55:38,491
Now go right to 90.
636
00:55:38,546 --> 00:55:41,912
And right to 90.
There, is that it?
637
00:55:42,085 --> 00:55:43,245
I think that's it.
638
00:55:50,006 --> 00:55:51,566
Is this the combination,
is it is open?
639
00:55:52,306 --> 00:55:53,626
Yeah, it's open.
640
00:55:58,006 --> 00:55:59,006
Here we go, folks.
641
00:56:04,134 --> 00:56:05,874
Shut the door, I'm naked!
642
00:56:06,010 --> 00:56:07,942
C'mon, don't worry,
it's just as record.
643
00:56:07,967 --> 00:56:09,439
It is part of the alarm system.
644
00:56:09,464 --> 00:56:10,716
Oh, there it is!
645
00:56:11,253 --> 00:56:12,390
The recipe!
646
00:56:12,585 --> 00:56:14,037
Give it to me!
647
00:56:15,009 --> 00:56:16,432
Yes, this is it.
648
00:56:16,634 --> 00:56:18,038
- Right.
- Uh-huh.
649
00:56:18,586 --> 00:56:19,742
We've done it.
650
00:56:20,107 --> 00:56:21,312
And now...
651
00:56:21,572 --> 00:56:23,520
and now, I'd like to
take this opportunity
652
00:56:23,545 --> 00:56:26,185
to do my impersonations
of some famous movie stars.
653
00:56:26,309 --> 00:56:27,434
Mr. James Cagney...
654
00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:31,487
"You dirty rat, you're the
guy that gave it to my sister!"
655
00:56:31,512 --> 00:56:34,813
"And now I'm gonna give it
to your sister, you dirty rat!"
656
00:56:34,838 --> 00:56:37,210
That was wonderful,
now do Claude Rains.
657
00:56:37,235 --> 00:56:39,855
Don't tell me who to do,
I don't do Claude Rains.
658
00:56:40,309 --> 00:56:42,408
Hey, that was really terrific!
659
00:56:42,710 --> 00:56:45,590
How you do those things so true
to life... I don't know how you do it.
660
00:56:46,010 --> 00:56:47,725
I'm not through yet, buster.
661
00:56:47,750 --> 00:56:50,596
Listen, we'd love to hear more,
but honestly, we have no time.
662
00:56:51,030 --> 00:56:52,922
If I know Shepard
Wong, he'll try to stop us.
663
00:56:52,997 --> 00:56:55,675
And we've got to
decode this recipe.
664
00:57:09,211 --> 00:57:10,211
Wait! Wait!
665
00:57:10,329 --> 00:57:11,144
Hold it! Hold it!
666
00:57:11,169 --> 00:57:12,551
Yeah, let's get organized.
667
00:57:15,471 --> 00:57:17,351
All right, gentlemen, I
want you to settle down.
668
00:57:17,723 --> 00:57:19,123
I have a few
instructions for you..
669
00:57:19,148 --> 00:57:20,116
I want you to
listen carefully...
670
00:57:20,141 --> 00:57:21,336
and I want you to cool it.
671
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:25,526
This fellow over here, in a yellow
smock, is the brains of our organization...
672
00:57:25,617 --> 00:57:27,672
and over here is our
leader, this grease-ball.
673
00:57:27,936 --> 00:57:30,289
Okay, yellow smock, say a
few words, and be quick about it.
674
00:57:30,429 --> 00:57:32,213
Make sure all W2
forms are filled out.
675
00:57:32,214 --> 00:57:33,294
All right, that's enough...
676
00:57:33,318 --> 00:57:35,210
You fellas go
forward, others go aft.
677
00:57:35,471 --> 00:57:37,051
I want you to shoot to kill.
678
00:57:37,694 --> 00:57:39,713
All right, men, we're on water.
679
00:57:39,813 --> 00:57:42,914
I don't want any of you walking
too far to the left or to the right.
680
00:57:43,247 --> 00:57:46,166
Remember the training films
we saw about how people sink.
681
00:57:46,206 --> 00:57:47,206
Now, go!
682
00:57:57,337 --> 00:58:00,210
And now, for you entertainment
pleasure, WC Fields...
683
00:58:00,381 --> 00:58:03,202
"Yes-yes, never forget the
time I was in the Malayas...
684
00:58:03,227 --> 00:58:05,444
in search of the great
Civet cat, there we were..."
685
00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:06,802
You're not laughing.
686
00:58:07,124 --> 00:58:08,378
Oohh!
687
00:58:08,914 --> 00:58:10,315
I hate you people!
688
00:58:10,424 --> 00:58:12,544
That was the first time I've
done those impressions...
689
00:58:12,568 --> 00:58:14,514
without getting a
tremendous round of applause.
690
00:58:14,539 --> 00:58:16,832
Yeah! Let's hear it for him!
691
00:58:17,215 --> 00:58:19,513
Let's really hear it
for him, come on!
692
00:58:19,615 --> 00:58:21,062
Dammit! Truce? Truce?
693
00:58:21,116 --> 00:58:22,856
Yes, I guess so,
here, help her up.
694
00:58:22,908 --> 00:58:24,948
Let's get out of here. Let's
go down the passageway.
695
00:58:28,736 --> 00:58:30,696
Watch out, you don't know
where they'll come from.
696
00:58:30,894 --> 00:58:33,688
They'll either come from the
left, or the right... or the right.
697
00:58:53,557 --> 00:58:55,456
- Did you see where they went?
- No-no.
698
00:58:57,217 --> 00:58:58,861
Saracen dog!
699
00:58:58,949 --> 00:59:00,337
Spartan pig!
700
00:59:01,818 --> 00:59:02,919
What's going on?
701
00:59:03,175 --> 00:59:05,039
I think we're winning, chief!
702
00:59:05,528 --> 00:59:07,199
All right, men, follow me!
703
00:59:09,120 --> 00:59:10,120
Creep!
704
00:59:10,719 --> 00:59:11,839
What's the matter with them?
705
00:59:16,519 --> 00:59:19,419
These two have been
overcome by too much gas.
706
00:59:19,720 --> 00:59:22,543
I caught 'em below committing
a crime against nature.
707
00:59:22,920 --> 00:59:25,279
They offend my sensibilities!
Get them off the ship!
708
00:59:25,448 --> 00:59:27,082
You're useless now.
709
00:59:27,247 --> 00:59:28,786
Wait for us on the launch.
710
00:59:28,811 --> 00:59:29,811
Just a second.
711
00:59:31,335 --> 00:59:33,189
I don't think I ever
saw you two before.
712
00:59:34,620 --> 00:59:35,755
Shepard Wong.
713
00:59:38,315 --> 00:59:40,002
You'd never guess
I have no pants on!
714
00:59:44,495 --> 00:59:45,966
I'll take care of him myself.
715
00:59:46,147 --> 00:59:47,447
You watch the porthole.
716
00:59:47,522 --> 00:59:48,833
You go that way. Come on!
717
00:59:55,742 --> 00:59:56,923
Are you ready yet?
718
00:59:57,621 --> 00:59:58,823
What are you doing down there?
719
01:00:00,595 --> 01:00:02,761
I'm selecting an
appropriate mustache.
720
01:00:03,122 --> 01:00:05,287
It's a good thing I
save all my old shaves.
721
01:00:07,889 --> 01:00:08,889
Let's go!
722
01:00:16,406 --> 01:00:17,459
What's that?
723
01:00:19,023 --> 01:00:20,123
Something's coming out!
724
01:00:20,817 --> 01:00:22,556
What do you think
you're doing, young man?
725
01:00:23,969 --> 01:00:26,569
I'm a government official, I
came here to fumigate the ship.
726
01:00:26,624 --> 01:00:28,362
Good acting! I think
we got them fooled.
727
01:00:29,424 --> 01:00:30,644
Bring 'em over here.
728
01:00:30,744 --> 01:00:32,744
Keep walking until we're
right on top of the water.
729
01:00:32,951 --> 01:00:35,311
If we can walk on the water,
they wouldn't dare shoot at us.
730
01:00:35,511 --> 01:00:36,511
It's Wing!
731
01:00:52,381 --> 01:00:53,381
What...?
732
01:00:53,407 --> 01:00:55,341
You let them get
away, you idiot!
733
01:00:55,383 --> 01:00:56,197
Take a club...
734
01:00:56,223 --> 01:00:56,791
and a hit...
735
01:00:56,816 --> 01:00:57,816
an a smash!
736
01:00:58,311 --> 01:01:01,512
If this really is code,
what does it say?
737
01:01:03,192 --> 01:01:04,312
What does this mean?
738
01:01:05,626 --> 01:01:07,766
What do you these
holes in this paper say?
739
01:01:07,832 --> 01:01:09,012
Something about...
740
01:01:09,037 --> 01:01:11,145
hard-boiled eggs.
741
01:01:12,687 --> 01:01:14,046
Are you pulling my leg?
742
01:01:16,849 --> 01:01:20,527
Well, if you don't believe
me, why don't you test me.
743
01:01:20,567 --> 01:01:21,627
Test you how?
744
01:01:21,821 --> 01:01:24,569
Shepard Wong's ship, it's
supposed to leave tomorrow...
745
01:01:24,594 --> 01:01:27,807
but if this recipe means so much
to Wong, he won't leave, will he?
746
01:01:37,362 --> 01:01:39,822
I don't know why, but you
got a better bandage than I did!
747
01:01:41,875 --> 01:01:43,337
They got away.
748
01:01:44,108 --> 01:01:46,542
You think that's bad? They
gave me a great bandage, and...
749
01:01:46,567 --> 01:01:49,008
they make me wear my coat
over it, so no one can see it!
750
01:01:49,348 --> 01:01:51,148
Will you two stop arguing
about your bandages!
751
01:01:51,172 --> 01:01:51,989
Look at me...
752
01:01:52,130 --> 01:01:53,848
I didn't get any bandage at all.
753
01:01:56,822 --> 01:01:57,838
Hey, boss!
754
01:01:58,048 --> 01:01:59,105
Boss!
755
01:02:01,631 --> 01:02:04,311
Shepard Wong's ship
is not leaving tomorrow.
756
01:02:04,631 --> 01:02:06,933
Because Wong
definitely needs the recipe.
757
01:02:07,929 --> 01:02:09,182
And he needs it badly.
758
01:02:09,715 --> 01:02:11,575
Tell me, are you
wearing a girdle?
759
01:02:11,795 --> 01:02:12,922
Yes, I am.
760
01:02:13,743 --> 01:02:15,752
And he needs it for a
very special reason...
761
01:02:16,438 --> 01:02:17,518
You can tell.
762
01:02:19,232 --> 01:02:20,832
- We'll see about that...
- It's for you!
763
01:02:25,018 --> 01:02:26,024
All right.
764
01:02:27,872 --> 01:02:28,947
Put him through.
765
01:02:29,948 --> 01:02:30,995
It's Wong.
766
01:02:31,020 --> 01:02:33,134
Well, he certainly
didn't waste any time.
767
01:02:33,659 --> 01:02:35,221
- Phil...
- Pull yourself together.
768
01:02:36,258 --> 01:02:37,391
Uh-huh, okay.
769
01:02:40,033 --> 01:02:41,913
Shepard Wong wants a meeting.
770
01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:44,365
Wong's desperate
for that recipe.
771
01:02:44,617 --> 01:02:45,625
Why?
772
01:02:46,578 --> 01:02:49,711
Well, I didn't tell you this before,
but he's an egg salad addict.
773
01:02:52,563 --> 01:02:53,836
You mean he's hooked on it?
774
01:02:53,949 --> 01:02:55,953
He's hooked, he's got
a chicken on his back.
775
01:02:56,186 --> 01:02:57,693
Yeah, well, too bad for him!
776
01:02:59,960 --> 01:03:01,247
What'll we do now?
777
01:03:01,388 --> 01:03:03,020
Let's go and decode the recipe.
778
01:03:28,235 --> 01:03:30,616
I wonder if this turns it on?
779
01:03:34,942 --> 01:03:36,673
Come on! Let's get on with it.
780
01:03:37,937 --> 01:03:40,936
I'm going to decode
some ancient erotic poetry.
781
01:03:45,236 --> 01:03:48,137
"There once was a
man from Nantucket...
782
01:03:48,819 --> 01:03:50,438
- whose..."
- You're putting me on.
783
01:03:50,671 --> 01:03:53,510
How do I know if I decode
this, you won't kill me?
784
01:03:55,987 --> 01:03:57,047
Kill you?
785
01:03:57,100 --> 01:03:58,638
Take a look at this...
786
01:03:59,839 --> 01:04:01,718
Is this the body of a killer?
787
01:04:05,525 --> 01:04:06,978
You call that a body?
788
01:04:07,091 --> 01:04:08,298
Take a look at this!
789
01:04:08,739 --> 01:04:11,939
Hold it a minute... I only came
in here to decode the recipe.
790
01:04:20,040 --> 01:04:21,541
Hey, look at this!
791
01:04:23,018 --> 01:04:25,246
"Take two chopped
hard-boiled eggs...
792
01:04:25,394 --> 01:04:27,212
two tablespoons of mayonnaise...
793
01:04:27,237 --> 01:04:29,052
add a pinch of salt..."
794
01:04:43,368 --> 01:04:45,840
We did it! You are
super, Phil, old sport!
795
01:04:46,015 --> 01:04:48,488
You're beautiful,
I think I love you!
796
01:04:49,713 --> 01:04:51,641
Hold it, my pants
are falling down.
797
01:04:52,835 --> 01:04:55,066
Now, we get to the telescope...
798
01:04:55,639 --> 01:04:56,728
That's good...
799
01:04:56,964 --> 01:04:58,194
Now, a box seat...
800
01:04:58,419 --> 01:04:59,825
a soda box seat.
801
01:05:01,644 --> 01:05:02,824
That was a good one.
802
01:05:04,251 --> 01:05:05,344
Oh, my throat!
803
01:05:05,369 --> 01:05:07,788
This Peter Lorre
imitation is killing me!
804
01:05:10,623 --> 01:05:13,222
Everybody shows up
when we have girls to tie up.
805
01:05:15,964 --> 01:05:17,283
All right, Wong...
806
01:05:17,910 --> 01:05:19,337
This is so important...
807
01:05:19,396 --> 01:05:21,136
I'm not gonna use my own voice.
808
01:05:21,293 --> 01:05:22,647
Inchi's a ventriloquist...
809
01:05:22,697 --> 01:05:24,706
and he's gonna do
the talking for me.
810
01:05:24,788 --> 01:05:25,895
Hello, Wong?
811
01:05:26,081 --> 01:05:27,268
Now, listen to me...
812
01:05:27,443 --> 01:05:30,189
I want you to meet
me aboard ship at 4 am.
813
01:05:30,544 --> 01:05:33,224
Don't bring any of your hoods,
and I won't bring any of mine.
814
01:05:33,845 --> 01:05:35,044
I got the recipe...
815
01:05:35,465 --> 01:05:37,864
I want you to bring a
million dollars in cash...
816
01:05:38,164 --> 01:05:39,569
and no pennies.
817
01:05:41,664 --> 01:05:43,923
How'd you like that?
He's great, isn't he?
818
01:05:48,379 --> 01:05:49,513
How was I, boss?
819
01:05:49,538 --> 01:05:52,178
Had a little trouble with the M's
and P's, but otherwise great, eh?
820
01:05:52,202 --> 01:05:55,175
Very good, keep this up and we're
gonna get you your own dummy.
821
01:05:57,465 --> 01:05:59,165
And so, my dear friends...
822
01:06:00,744 --> 01:06:03,145
now I have Shepard
Wong right where I wanted.
823
01:06:04,665 --> 01:06:06,567
Why the look of consternation?
824
01:06:06,940 --> 01:06:08,559
I thought you said
you loved me...
825
01:06:08,584 --> 01:06:10,890
- how come we're tied up?!
- I love you in my own way.
826
01:06:11,831 --> 01:06:13,992
Shepard Wong will
pay me a cool million.
827
01:06:14,906 --> 01:06:17,399
All the money he has in
the world, for this recipe.
828
01:06:18,067 --> 01:06:20,407
That poor, unfortunate
egg salad junkie...
829
01:06:20,432 --> 01:06:22,253
and that leaves
only you suckers.
830
01:06:22,744 --> 01:06:24,151
Here's to you, my friends...
831
01:06:24,204 --> 01:06:25,272
I wish you good luck...
832
01:06:25,297 --> 01:06:26,537
You should live and be well.
833
01:06:28,467 --> 01:06:30,010
You and each of your partners...
834
01:06:30,035 --> 01:06:31,813
will be put into an empty drum.
835
01:06:32,072 --> 01:06:35,647
Which will then be filled
with fat Lithuanian midgets.
836
01:06:36,668 --> 01:06:40,179
And then, you will be
dropped into the ocean.
837
01:06:40,783 --> 01:06:42,796
You'll be seeing
a lot this water.
838
01:06:45,140 --> 01:06:46,788
But first, my friend...
839
01:06:46,813 --> 01:06:49,286
would like to give his
cobra some exercise.
840
01:06:49,508 --> 01:06:51,925
Exercises which you
will enjoy, I'm sure.
841
01:06:52,469 --> 01:06:53,769
Are you ready yet?
842
01:06:56,138 --> 01:06:57,225
Will you excuse me now?
843
01:06:57,250 --> 01:06:58,577
And no hard feelings.
844
01:07:00,971 --> 01:07:02,699
Wing, do you think
I'll win an award...
845
01:07:02,724 --> 01:07:04,337
for my acting in this picture?
846
01:07:04,381 --> 01:07:05,610
Egomaniac!
847
01:07:09,472 --> 01:07:11,726
This iron pipe will
make a nice award.
848
01:07:14,271 --> 01:07:16,496
You are the worst
actor I've ever seen!
849
01:07:16,603 --> 01:07:18,111
This is for Sonny Tufts!
850
01:07:18,471 --> 01:07:20,051
This is for John Wayne!
851
01:07:20,151 --> 01:07:22,191
And this is for the
Flying Wallendas!
852
01:07:24,947 --> 01:07:26,142
Gee, boss...
853
01:07:26,167 --> 01:07:28,370
ya really know
how to hurt a guy!
854
01:07:35,778 --> 01:07:37,598
And now my cobra
can have some fun!
855
01:07:38,009 --> 01:07:39,122
He likes to listen...
856
01:07:39,529 --> 01:07:40,589
to the radio.
857
01:08:17,025 --> 01:08:18,032
Suki!
858
01:10:09,842 --> 01:10:10,855
Dolores...
859
01:10:10,955 --> 01:10:12,722
we can't keep
meeting here like this.
860
01:10:13,042 --> 01:10:14,463
My wife is getting wise.
861
01:10:14,503 --> 01:10:16,263
But Max, I love you!
862
01:10:16,736 --> 01:10:18,802
Yes, but, not in
the projection room!
863
01:10:19,128 --> 01:10:20,615
It's against union rules.
864
01:10:25,022 --> 01:10:26,922
Suki-Suki, wake up!
865
01:10:37,170 --> 01:10:39,970
All right, you burn to
death like my cobra!
866
01:10:49,046 --> 01:10:50,221
Oh, you snake...
867
01:10:50,267 --> 01:10:51,494
you killed my cobra!
868
01:10:52,234 --> 01:10:55,087
You-you-you beast, you!
869
01:10:58,371 --> 01:10:59,524
My snake!
870
01:10:59,644 --> 01:11:02,750
Where am I going to
get a long, thin coffin?!
871
01:11:05,483 --> 01:11:07,146
You killed a newlywed.
872
01:11:07,593 --> 01:11:11,089
Somewhere, there's a female
chicken crying her eyes out!
873
01:11:13,187 --> 01:11:15,427
Hey, what are you
doing there, anyway, huh?
874
01:11:36,737 --> 01:11:37,968
Have you got the money?
875
01:11:41,912 --> 01:11:43,470
What about the recipe?
876
01:11:44,168 --> 01:11:45,168
Here it is.
877
01:11:51,711 --> 01:11:53,002
Are you Chinese?
878
01:11:53,027 --> 01:11:54,384
No, I'm Japanese.
879
01:11:54,479 --> 01:11:56,181
Are you sure you're not Chinese?
880
01:11:56,206 --> 01:11:57,339
Yes, I'm sure.
881
01:11:57,370 --> 01:11:59,511
Aw, come on, you're Chinese.
882
01:11:59,550 --> 01:12:01,023
Okay, I'm Chinese.
883
01:12:01,156 --> 01:12:03,250
You know, you
don't look Chinese.
884
01:12:18,062 --> 01:12:19,678
Thanks for the recipe.
885
01:12:20,196 --> 01:12:22,623
Where'd you get that suit,
from an ambulance driver?
886
01:12:26,010 --> 01:12:27,144
I'm dying...
887
01:12:27,335 --> 01:12:28,857
call my rabbi.
888
01:12:31,592 --> 01:12:32,891
Well, my dear friend...
889
01:12:33,418 --> 01:12:34,825
the chicken is off your back.
890
01:12:36,358 --> 01:12:37,898
It's not real money...
891
01:12:39,271 --> 01:12:40,717
it's Monopoly money.
892
01:12:42,677 --> 01:12:43,830
Monopoly money?
893
01:12:44,046 --> 01:12:45,847
I have one last request...
894
01:12:46,305 --> 01:12:47,313
What?
895
01:12:47,533 --> 01:12:49,279
Don't use embalming
fluid on me...
896
01:12:49,310 --> 01:12:51,279
I want to be stuffed
with crab meat.
897
01:12:54,544 --> 01:12:55,558
Dammit!
898
01:12:55,590 --> 01:12:57,070
But I still have the recipe.
899
01:12:57,530 --> 01:12:59,330
You think of
everything, don't you?
900
01:13:09,314 --> 01:13:10,370
Throw the light on him.
901
01:13:10,394 --> 01:13:11,494
Okay, boss.
902
01:13:15,470 --> 01:13:17,492
I've enjoyed our
short partnership...
903
01:13:17,635 --> 01:13:18,735
but it's over.
904
01:13:18,775 --> 01:13:19,917
Throw me the recipe!
905
01:13:20,174 --> 01:13:23,015
The Raspur government
will pay dearly for this.
906
01:13:23,275 --> 01:13:24,814
You'll never find them, jerk!
907
01:13:24,966 --> 01:13:26,376
They're not on the map yet!
908
01:13:26,875 --> 01:13:27,875
Hey, boss!
909
01:13:29,778 --> 01:13:31,244
What happened to Cobra Man?
910
01:13:31,458 --> 01:13:33,315
They killed him,
and the cobra too.
911
01:13:33,937 --> 01:13:34,937
That dirty rat!
912
01:13:35,170 --> 01:13:37,476
Yeah, but he won't be
killing anybody anymore.
913
01:13:38,567 --> 01:13:40,113
That gun he's got,
it's Cobra Man's...
914
01:13:40,181 --> 01:13:41,513
he's got no bullets in it!
915
01:13:42,550 --> 01:13:43,550
No bullets?
916
01:13:43,574 --> 01:13:44,428
No bullets!?
917
01:13:44,492 --> 01:13:46,832
Ahh, but if all of
you in the audience...
918
01:13:46,857 --> 01:13:49,425
who believe in faeries
will clap your hands...
919
01:13:49,557 --> 01:13:52,177
then my gun will be
magically filled with bullets.
920
01:13:52,370 --> 01:13:54,180
I don't believe in fairies.
921
01:13:54,204 --> 01:13:55,677
Don't clap, idiot!
922
01:13:55,938 --> 01:13:58,165
Now, if enough of you
clapped your hands...
923
01:13:58,190 --> 01:14:00,870
or at least if some of
you are true fairy lovers...
924
01:14:00,958 --> 01:14:02,678
my gun should work.
925
01:14:03,210 --> 01:14:04,470
Saracen pig!
926
01:14:06,874 --> 01:14:08,978
Now who believes in fairies?
927
01:14:09,067 --> 01:14:10,581
All right, we'll get rid of him!
928
01:14:11,777 --> 01:14:13,279
Russian snake!
929
01:14:22,671 --> 01:14:23,771
Roman cow!
930
01:14:50,525 --> 01:14:51,618
Phil!
931
01:14:51,881 --> 01:14:52,924
Here's a gun!
932
01:14:53,964 --> 01:14:54,964
Thank you!
933
01:14:54,988 --> 01:14:56,485
If you live, call us!
934
01:14:57,061 --> 01:14:59,826
Hang around, I'm gonna shoot
four guys with three bullets.
935
01:15:44,255 --> 01:15:45,275
One.
936
01:15:45,755 --> 01:15:46,795
Two.
937
01:15:47,382 --> 01:15:48,395
One.
938
01:15:48,922 --> 01:15:50,042
Two.
939
01:16:06,093 --> 01:16:07,851
Oh, am I exhausted!
940
01:16:11,021 --> 01:16:12,886
Boy, I'm at great piece!
941
01:16:19,541 --> 01:16:21,421
Gee, I wish Phil would get here.
942
01:16:22,322 --> 01:16:24,447
It's getting awfully late!
943
01:16:27,097 --> 01:16:30,054
Here's Phil, bringing with him
the constant promise of joy and...
944
01:16:30,078 --> 01:16:32,024
fulfillment in its
most primitive form.
945
01:16:36,598 --> 01:16:37,652
What do you want?
946
01:16:37,677 --> 01:16:39,452
From Mr. Moskowitz's doctor.
947
01:16:43,987 --> 01:16:45,165
He must be sick.
948
01:16:48,732 --> 01:16:51,327
"Moskowitz suffered mental
breakdown from strain...
949
01:16:51,352 --> 01:16:53,725
is convinced he
is a Pan-Am jet."
950
01:16:54,789 --> 01:16:56,125
What does this mean?
951
01:16:57,289 --> 01:16:58,855
He thinks he's an airplane!
952
01:17:02,189 --> 01:17:03,689
Ridiculous!
953
01:17:04,989 --> 01:17:06,768
A Pan-Am jet!
954
01:17:07,989 --> 01:17:09,909
I'm almost to the
end of the runway...
955
01:17:10,222 --> 01:17:12,242
Here I go... up into the air!
956
01:17:12,768 --> 01:17:14,569
Oh, just listen to my motors!
957
01:17:16,478 --> 01:17:19,559
Love has found me...
958
01:17:19,620 --> 01:17:22,960
and I have found the way...
959
01:17:23,112 --> 01:17:26,310
and if I shouldn't...
960
01:19:43,600 --> 01:19:45,340
I promised I'd put
her in the film...
961
01:19:45,892 --> 01:19:47,141
somewhere.
66607
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