All language subtitles for The Twilight Zone - S05E16 - The Self-Improvement of Salvadore Ross.eng.SDH

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR: You unlock this
door with the key of imagination.

Beyond it is another dimension.

A dimension of sound.

A dimension of sight.
A dimension of mind.

You're moving into a land of
both shadow and substance,

of things and ideas.

You've just crossed over
into the Twilight Zone.

Hey! You with the rich boyfriend.

Well, come on. Just because I'm
successful, that don't make me stuck-up.

[CHUCKLES, HUMS] ♪ La-la! ♪

Hello, Sal. Whose is it?

Oh, it couldn't be mine, huh?

Come on, whose is it?

It belongs to some guy, his name's
Halpert. He's about 170 years old

and owns half of Connecticut.

How do you know him?

I got a new job washing cars
in the building where he lives.

And I see this little beauty
sitting there waiting for action.

Well, you know, the battery
might run down, something like that.

You mean that he doesn't
know that you have his car?

Baby, he doesn't care, he digs me!

See, I've done him some small
favors and… Well, come on, let's go!

No, thanks very much.

No, wait, I ain't lying. The
only time he leaves that place

is to dig chicks and to try and find
out what it was like when he was young.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm tired and I told my
father I'd play chess with him tonight.

Chess? Wait a minute.

Okay. Okay, I…

Watch how I can make nice.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry. Well, I'll
borrow the wheels again next Friday

and be by to pick you up.
Now, wasn't that polite?

Yes. Very polite.

I meant what I said the last time, Sal.

No, you didn't.

Yes, I did. We can't
keep seeing each other.

I should never have let it
get started in the first place.

Sure, as long as you're
the saintly social worker

and I'm one of the crumbs,
everything's all right.

But as soon as we get too close,
you notice I got dirt on my hands.

That has nothing to do…

And that I don't talk like your old man.

Sal, we're just two people who are
never going to understand each other.

Baby, with your education,

you can come up with a
better "Dear John" than that.

[WHISPERS] I'm sorry.

Listen. I ain't always gonna
have dirt on my hands.

And I don't need no books
to show me which way is up.

I got the map, and I'll get there.

Leah, is something the matter?

No. No, Dad, there's nothing wrong.

No, there's nothing wrong, Dad.

Hello, Sal.

Are you happy that you've convinced her

that she's too much for a
bum like Salvadore Ross, hm?

I admit I wouldn't choose
you for my daughter.

But it's not my decision. It's hers.
Besides, I may be wrong about you.

She obviously sees
you differently than I do.

No, I don't.

Not anymore.

Why can't I want something
in my life and get it?

Just once!

NARRATOR: Confidential
personnel file on Salvadore Ross.

Personality: a volatile
mixture of fury and frustration.

Distinguishing physical
characteristic: a badly broken hand

which will require emergency
treatment at the nearest hospital.

Ambition: shows great determination
toward self-improvement.

Estimate of potential success: a
sure bet for a listing in Who's Who.

In the Twilight Zone.

[COUGHING]

Here we are, Mr. Ross.

The orthopedic ward is full. But
you'll be just fine in here for tonight.

Why don't you just let me go home, huh?

Because the doctor has to prepare the
cast after he checks the X-rays tomorrow.

Good night.

Wait a minute! Where are my clothes?

Your clothes are in that
closet. Now, good night.

Good night.

[COUGHING]

You do something to your hand?

No. I came here for a good night's sleep.

The Waldorf was getting on my nerves.

I bet it hurts.

Yeah, it hurts.

You're still lucky, though.

My luck wins prizes.

No, I… I mean it.

I've got this awful
congestion in my chest.

[COUGHING]

Are you griping about a cold?

At your age, it might just be a cold.

But at mine, it could
easily turn into pneumonia.

You know, young man, you
could break both legs and an elbow

and you'd still be
swimming inside of a month.

Yeah? Well, if you think…

If you think this is so
great, well, let's swap.

You take my busted hand,
and I'll take your lousy cold.

[LAUGHS]

[RESUMES COUGHING]

It's a deal.

[COUGHING]

[GRUNTS]

[COUGHS]

[COUGHING]

[GROANS]

Oh, my hand. What's
the matter with my hand?

Oh. What have you done?

[LAUGHS] Quite a
bargain we made, huh, pop?

No, please. I wanna swap back.

Please, look, it'll never
heal, not at my age.

All deals are final.

[COUGHS]

[CHUCKLING]

[COUGHING]

[COUGHING]

If you buy this, Mr. Halpert, it'll be the
best thing that ever happened to you.

Come in.

Wow, this some pad you got here!

Strange for a man of my years.
That's what you're thinking?

Oh, no, listen, I always figure you
still know how to swing, you know.

Well, where is it?

What?

This wonderful item that
I'm supposed to purchase.

Uh, well, you're looking at it.

I'm looking at it?

Yeah, it's, uh, youth.
That's what I want to sell you.

Youth that comes in
bot… Come on, get out of here.

No, wait a minute. Wait a
minute, look, I read in the paper

that you're 72 years old, right? I'm 26.

Now, what would you
give to be 26 again, hm?

I think you're the kookiest kid
they ever turned loose in the streets.

Okay, think what you wanna
think. But just listen to me, will you?

It won't hurt anything. Now, come on,

how much would you give to be
26 years old again? How much?

Well, come on, how
much? Um, a million bucks?

All right, let's say a million dollars.

And what about this pad, do you own it?

Yes, I own it.

Do you throw that in as part of the deal?

How do you propose to deliver
these years you rave about?

I'm going to sell you my years.

[LAUGHING]

All right, I'll tell you what you do.

You wrap the years up
and mail them to me, huh?

How about the pad? Is that
gonna be part of the deal?

Yes, I'll make it part of the deal.

I wouldn't think of taking your years
for anything less than their worth.

Man, a million bucks and this pad.
You just bought 46 years, Mr. Halpert.

I'm sure I did.

No, you're not sure. But
you got a big surprise in store.

[LAUGHS]

Go on, get out of here.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

SAL: Come in.

Here are the evening
papers you ordered, sir.

Come in.

Shut the door.

Come all the way in.
Let me have a look at you.

You're the new owner. I was
wondering why I hadn't seen you.

Well, uh, I've been staying in.

But I've seen you, uh,
operating the elevator.

Oh? What happened to Mr. Halpert?

Oh, well, he decided to take a
cruise with some young friends of his.

He's going to be away so long, he
was kind enough to sell me this place.

That… That sounds just like Mr. Halpert.

He sure knew how to spend his money.

How much do you make a year?

Well, um, right now I get
$52.50 a week, plus tips.

Hm. Well, then this should help some.

Here we are.

Picture of Lincoln just
for bringing the papers.

Mr. Ross, I have a feeling you're
gonna get very good service around here.

How would you like to make more?

Lots more?

Just so long as it's legal, Mr. Ross.

How old are you?

Nineteen.

Would you like to be 20?

I figure I'll make it one of these years.

What would you say if someone
wanted to buy a year of your life

for say, uh, $250?

I suppose I'd tell him to
go take a leap at the moon.

You mean you wouldn't sell a
year of your life for that money?

I enjoy my life, Mr. Ross.

The days may be dull, but I
wouldn't swap some of my nights

for all the crown jewels
in a golden bucket.

Wait, come back!

Yes, sir?

You thought I was joking, didn't you?

I don't think I know what
you're talking about, Mr. Ross.

What's your name?

Albert Rowe.

Well, you can put that in later, hm?

Here we are.

Now…

Doesn't that make it more reasonable?

That's $1,000, Mr. Ross.

That's right, Albert.

What do I have to do?

I told you. Nothing. If you accept this,

you'll wake up in the morning
one year older, that's all.

Does it really make that much
difference to you whether you're 19 or 20?

Well, now that you put it that way,

I… I guess 20 is not such a bad age.

Fine. Then you've made a deal, Albert.

A very, very good deal.

Well, uh, nice doing
business with you, Mr. Ross…

And Albert. You might pass
the word among your friends

that I'm always good
for cash on these terms.

They'll be beating down your doors.

Who knows, I might decide to
sell you a couple more years myself.

I'll be here, Albert.

Thank you for waiting.

Yes, sir.

You're new here, aren't you?

Yes, sir.

Thank you, Mr. Ross.

[KNOCK AT DOOR]

I'm coming.

Is Leah home, yet?

No, not yet, she isn't.

You don't mind if I wait for her, do you?

Haven't seen you for quite a while.

Well, I've been busy making
myself worthy of your daughter.

Leave her alone, please.

Come on. Look, my nails are clean.

I'm dressed in the right clothes.

You're obviously doing very
well, and I'm glad for you.

Then why tell me to leave her alone for?

I'm a good catch, Mr. Maitland.

A real good catch.

Not for Leah.

Yes. Exactly for Leah.

Tell me, what is it that
makes you so superior, huh?

I mean, what have you done
that puts you on the top shelf?

Teaching in that rattrap
school all your life?

No, not teaching, um, babysitting.

And you come home from the war,

and what do you bring? A game leg,

and a handful of crummy
souvenirs to put on your wall.

You know what you are?
You're a loser, Mr. Maitland.

Even worse than I used to be.

And you want Leah to marry
somebody like you, huh?

Yes, even though in
your eyes I'm a failure.

Would you be a good husband to her?

I can buy her anything if I want to.

Do you love her?

I want her, Mr. Maitland.

That's not enough. Leah needs
somebody who is kind and…

Hi, Dad.

Hello, dear.

Hello, Sal.

Hi.

Your father and I were
having a pleasant little chat.

I've worked very hard to improve myself.

Haven't I, Mr. Maitland?

You certainly look very prosperous.

I've had some luck.

Did you?

I'm glad.

You know, you even sound different.

Oh, you noticed that.

Well, I met this young
fellow from college

and, uh, he needed some
money, so we made a deal.

I paid him to help me
improve my way of talking.

You must have worked very hard, Sal.

I'll tell you all about it over supper.

No, thank you very much.
I'm really so busy tonight.

Nonsense. I've worked
so hard at improving myself

that even your father can't
object to you going out with me.

Can you, Mr. Maitland?

Would you mind, Dad?

Leah, you know I've never
tried to tell you what to do.

I won't stay out late.

And I would like to hear about
everything that's been happening to you.

Just give me a couple
of minutes to change.

See?

Now tell me you feel nothing but a blank.

That, uh,

that never was the problem.

Well, then, what was the problem?

You broke off with me
because I was wrong.

What kind of guy is right for you, Leah?

You tell me what kind of guy is
right for you and I'll be that guy.

It doesn't work that way.

Well, I've got a Christmas
morning surprise for you, baby.

It works that way with me.

I can be anything I want.
I can buy anything I want.

I wish I could explain it to you.

It's not something that you can buy.

You name it.

It's the kind of person you are.

The things you care about, the people
you care about. I'm not criticizing you.

It's just the way you are.

What way, hm?

You don't care about me.

Not really. You don't care about anybody.

Are you gentle?

Are you kind?

The man I marry is going
to have to have compassion,

because otherwise I
won't be able to love him.

You mean like your stupid old man

who rushes up eager to get pushed around?

Yes.

I think my father's a compassionate man.

He cares about people
just because they're people!

That's the kind of man I'm talking about.

I'm tired, Sal.

I'm going home.

Come here.

Don't you understand?

It's not something that you can buy.

Go on, get out. Get out of here.

Hello, Dad.

Hello.

Oh, Mr. Maitland. You
shouldn't have waited up for us.

Here she is, safe and sounder

than she was before she left.

I'm sorry, Dad.

It's all right.

It's nice to know that somebody
worries about me though.

Don't flatter yourself so much, my dear.

I really wanted to talk to Sal.

All right.

If, uh, you two will excuse me,

I've really got a very busy day tomorrow.

Goodbye, Sal.

So long.

Good night, Dad.

Good night, dear.

I'm glad you came in.

Oh, well, you're going
to be even gladder.

I've thought a lot about it,

and though I realize
that you are what you are

and it's not my place to
judge you… please, please!

I cannot let you ruin
her life by marrying her.

I came here strictly on business.

You've got something I want to buy

and I'm prepared to
offer you $100,000 for it.

Now, let that sum

stir around in your head for a minute.

$100,000.

Now, that's enough to take care
of you and to provide for Leah.

What do I have that's
worth that kind of money?

Well,

it's a little hard to explain.

I love you very much.

Hello, Mr. Maitland.

I was just telling Leah that I
was hoping you'd be home.

I… I wanted to talk to you.

Can I come in?

Yes.

Honey, would you leave
us alone for a few minutes?

It won't take long.

I love you.

I've got something I want to say to you.

I'm sorry for all the worry
and grief I've caused you.

You see, you were right about me.

I wanted to marry Leah
to… to prove something.

I… I… you see, she was a prize, a symbol.

But all that's changed.

And I know now that I'm
very much in love with her.

And I'll make her a good
husband. I promise you that.

I warned you I wouldn't let it happen.

You don't understand.

It's all changed.

I'm asking you for forgiveness.

For compassion.

Compassion?

Don't you remember?

I sold it to you yesterday.

[GUNSHOT]

NARRATOR: The Salvadore
Ross Program for Self-Improvement.

The all-in-one, surefire success course

that lets you lick the bully, learn
the language, dance the tango

and anything else you want
to do. Or think you want to do.

Money-back guarantee.

Offer limited to: the Twilight Zone.

PRESENTER: And now, Mr. Serling.

On our next outing,
Charles Beaumont comes through

with another delightful
flight of futuristic fantasy

about a society of another
time in which you literally

can't tell the players
without a scorecard.

They all appear in an identical mold.
Collin Wilcox, Richard Long,

and special guest star
Suzy Parker appear in a program called

"Number 12 Looks Just Like You."

I hope you're around
to catch the similarity.

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]