All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S03E05.Invite-gate.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

- Previously,

- Previously,
on "Southern Charm"...

- Are we gonna do this?
- Yes!

As Shep and I solidified
our "partnershep,"

Kathryn secured a deal
of her own

after her recent health scare.

- For my house
in Mount Pleasant?

- But J.D. wasn't buying it.

- Just want to make sure
you're not being...

- Manipulated?
- Well, I mean...

- And neither was Landon.

- I'm so bored of her thinking
she can, like,

control and manipulate everyone
with this child.

It's disgusting.

- And when we all got together

for Patricia's
pink flamingo party...

- [screaming]

- Oh, my God.
Are you all right?

- It was clear that Cooper had
become a royal pain

to the queen of Charleston.

- Listen, you're entitled to do
whatever you want to.

- Meanwhile,
when Craig went to find out

why Thomas bailed
on his baby mama

when she needed him most...

- Did you go see her
at the hospital?

- I went there immediately.

- He inadvertently started
a war.

- Thomas...
- Quit messing with this girl

who's pregnant.

- I'm her only friend
she trusts.

You have a misunderstanding.
- Stay the fááá out of my life.

- It's a bad daytime soap...

Fááá that. Fááá that.

That you just keep turning
back to.

[Mia Sable's "It's Easy"]

- ♪ Mm-hmm,
he's got money ♪

♪ He's in magazines ♪

♪ He's got more honeys ♪

♪ Than any honeybee ♪

♪ Ba-ba doo ♪

♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪

♪ It's easy ♪

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

♪ Mm-hmm ♪

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- [groans]

[whipped cream sprays]

[microwave beeps]

[mustard squirts]

♪ ♪

- It's quite a mess
after the party.

- Somebody messed up
my sofa.

- It's not as fluffy
as it should be.

- No. It makes me crazy
when the pillows aren't right.

- Craigy, come here.

Will you build this?

- When we get to unpacking,
it's...well--

- That's actually fun, though,
'cause you get to decide,

like, where stuff goes.
- Right.

So movers are coming
Monday, right?

- Yeah.
- So much is going

so right
in my life right now,

and I owe a huge part of that
to Naomie.

And the fact that we need
to move--

it doesn't matter to me.

I'd rather be homeless
in an alley with Naomie

than wealthy in a castle apart.

- Look, I know we weren't here

as long as we wanted to be,
but--

- Well, we knew it was something
that was always gonna happen.

It's almost like being
on the run.

- [laughs]
- You know, like,

you're looking
over your shoulder all the time

where they're almost relieved
when they're caught.

- I don't really see it
that way, but yeah.

- Naomie's parents have been
kind enough to let us live here

while the house has been listed
on the market,

but we always knew there was
a chance it would sell,

and that day has come.

- We definitely need to paint,
like, tomorrow.

- Before there's furniture.
We can move boxes in.

The good news is
Naomie actually has

a fixer-upper house
in Mount Pleasant.

What more do we need?

Here.
I think these will be better.

- Oh, for this?
- Yeah. Well, I think

those are for plates,
right?

And then these are--
- Glasses.

- Glasses.
- Okay.

So how was the party?
Was there any, like, drama?

- I kind of accidentally started
all of it last night.

- Craig.

Snowden called me
and was like,

"Yeah, Thomas didn't even go
to the hospital

when Kathryn was there."

- Snowden said that?

- All I was trying to do
was do the right thing,

and instead,
it all kind of unravels.

- At some point,
there's a liar involved.

- You have a misunderstanding.
- Stay the fááá out of my life.

- I guess it's a good thing
Kathryn wasn't there.

- Maybe, but I was like,
"Whitney, did you have, like,

the decency to, like,
invite Kathryn?"

- It was Patricia's party.

- Yeah, but see, I don't think
Patricia cares enough.

I feel like Whitney is
a driving force.

Whitney hates Kathryn.

- Why?
- Well, think about it.

Shep slept with Kathryn too.
- Right.

- Yeah.

- And Shep doesn't give a sháá.

- [laughing]
Right.

- You also know
that Whitney and her had sex.

- I want to come clean.
I'll be honest.

Did I hook up with Kathryn
in a moment of weakness?

- Yeah?
- Yes.

- When she went
and slept with Whitney,

Shep didn't care...
- Right.

- 'Cause he didn't
have feelings for her.

Whitney--
after she chose Thomas--

has hated her.

- I don't know if he--
I don't know.

- But here, follow me.
What I'm saying is...

- It's really hard
to follow you.

- Right. Look.
Here's another thing.

When Kathryn first came
in the picture,

you know, I was all about,
like, trophies and stuff...

- Right.
- So I was like, "I'm gonna

hook up with her
before anyone else."

But as soon as Shep did,
then I was like,

"There's no trophy involved."

Kathryn and I could
still be friends,

'cause there's no feelings.
- Right.

- Whitney's the only one
that couldn't be

friends with her anymore.

I honestly think that there is
more to their relationship

than just the one-night stand.

- You think Whitney had feelings
for her,

and that's why he hates her?

- I mean--

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello?
- Hey, baby. It's Whitney.

- Hi, babe. I miss you so much.
You have no idea.

- It's been too fáááing long.

It's been a bit protracted
with Larissa and I.

At some point,
you have to make a commitment:

either yes or no.

And that's where I am right now.

- Don't back out on this.
Make sure you're coming, please.

- [laughing]
- All right, baby.

- Bye. Say hi to your mom.

- Okay. Big kiss, baby.
Love you. Bye.

♪ ♪

- Thank you.
- Enjoy.

- Hi, my love.
- Darling.

- How are you?
- How are you?

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

What's occurring?
What's happening?

Please have a seat.
- I can't even answer that.

- I see you got
a new Birkin bag.

- I did. I bought it for myself,
because I wanted to--

I don't know--reward myself
for everything.

Chill. It's faux real.
F-A-U-X.

Guess I'll just set it down
here, though.

It's all about image
with these fáááers.

I learned that.
[laughs]

- Good afternoon.
Some fresh water

to start with for you?
- Sure. Yes.

- And would you care for
something else to drink, guys?

- I would like
a scotch on the rocks.

- Okay.
- And the lady will have soda.

You know, soda.

- Thank you so much.
- You're very welcome.

- So...
- Have lots to tell me?

'Cause I know you went
to the pink flamingo party.

- The tackiness.

Before the pink flamingo party,

Patricia calls me and says,

"You can't be seen publicly

with Kathryn."

- Was she giving you
a command?

- Yeah. She goes,
"It's not good for you."

And I said,
"She is my friend,

and I'm not gonna
shut her out of my life."

- She talks about me
and martinis, literally.

That's about it.

And animals.

This is insane to me.

A woman of such status,
I suppose,

is so concerned with a little
old girl from Moncks Corner

who doesn't do anything--
I'm a single mom.

- If I have said it before,
I say it again--

maybe I need to climb
atop the Ravenel Bridge

and shout it out--

but Patricia Altschul sees
a glimmer of herself

in our Carolina wildcat.

She just thinks you upset

you know, her world order.

♪ ♪

- I think it was
a marvelous party.

- Yeah.
- After this one being

so successful, I think
we should do it more often.

- Don't talk to me
about it today.

It takes me two days
to recuperate.

- [laughs]
- Hey, darling.

- Hey, Mom.
How are you?

- I didn't think you'd be
out and about today.

- Oh, you know.
- Muah.

Ouch.
- Oh, God.

- That's your mother's way
of saying it's time to shave.

- Why do I have to shave?
- It's just nicer.

It makes me think
of men who work on the docks.

- So the party turned out well.

- I think it came out fine.

- Mm-hmm.
- For purposes of my book,

the photographer took
party pictures.

I don't know if he got
Shep jumping in the pool.

Here they come.
- Oh, my God.

[laughter]
- Whoo!

- [laughs]
- It was cute.

- I saw Cooper pull you aside.

- He wanted to talk to me
privately, and...

- [laughs]
- Oh, Lord.

- About what?
- He thought that I was angry

with him and was cold.

- [sighs]

People like Cooper
are the drama queens,

and they need constant turmoil
in their lives

to have any kind of fulfillment
or excitement.

- I hope he enjoyed
the flamingo party,

because I will never have him
in the house again.

- You need
a stricter door policy.

- [sighs]
- Do what they do

at the Playboy Mansion.

People meet in the parking lot

They get checked off on the bus,
and then...

- Do I have to hear
about the Playboy Mansion?

- [laughing]
- I mean, please.

- Snowden was there.

- You know,
she called me crying,

saying she felt, like, attacked.

- I'm up on the porch
while Thomas is over there

spitting vitriol about me.

- Like, I just wanted to see,
like, where it came from,

because other than you, she's
really been the only person

that's been a constant friend
through all this crazy stuff

the last six months.

- Listen.
I don't know the girl,

but I don't trust her.

The facts are: you asked her,

"Did you sleep with Thomas?"

and she said no.

Right?
- Correct.

- Nothing ever transpired
of that nature, no.

- Okay.

- Then you find out from...
- Thomas.

- That they did, in fact.
- Yes. And then she--

- While you were pregnant.

- This isn't new information.

I get everything
that Cooper's saying,

but at the same time,

Jennifer is my close friend.

It's my life.
We're two strong women

who don't judge people.

I mean, get the fááá over it.

- I can't even--
with the psychotic-ness of this.

- She's been there for me
through so much.

- Is she telling you
what you need to hear?

- Gosh, well,
I don't even know.

- Kathryn...

I just want you to know

who your friends are,
you know?

- I'm trying
to figure that out now.

You know?

♪ ♪

[cork pops]

[knocking on door]
- Oh, yes.

Hey, darling.

- Hello.
- Did you bring all the gear?

- I got it all.
- Okay, let me help you.

- Such a gentleman.
It's quite heavy, but...

- Okay.
- I've got all the stuff.

- This is gonna be so silly.
- Are you ready?

- Yeah, I'm ready.

Bailey is awesome.
She's fashionable, hip,

fun to talk to, and I just like
spending time with her.

- So do you have the picture?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Oh, my God.

- I mean,
the beach is so cool.

- I might have you pose for me,
though.

- I got my surfboard
right there.

- I mean, I think it's awesome.

- Bailey and I--
we haven't decided to do

the "define the relationship"
talk,

which is the "DTR."

But she's definitely...

DTF.

[laughing]

- Keep tilting.

You have a great jawline.

- I've been working on it.

I've been chewing
a lot of gum.

- Coming up...

- Shep, Craig is
like "Blades of Glory."

- Whoo!
[laughter]

- Why is he so good at things
that are so embarrassing?

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

- Hey!
- Howdy.

- How are you?
- Good, doll, how are you?

- I'm a little hungover,
to be honest.

The flamingos got me.

- What's going on?
- I'm trying to get my disco on.

- Um, so it's
like a roller disco?

- It's not "like." It is.

- It's like, you know, like...
- [laughs]

Shep's been so sweet to me
since moving back,

and I want to do something
special for his birthday.

I think a Speedo for Shep.

I think he's wearing out
the Speedo joke, though.

- Yeah.
The shtick is getting old.

- I love roller-skating.
It's always been so fun,

and I think Shep will like it.

You know, we go out
on King Street all the time

and it's just a little
something different to do.

- Who are you gonna invite?

- Well, I invited so far you.

- Good.

- Bailey,
our other friend Robin...

I was gonna invite Jennifer,
but after last night,

I don't know if I should.

- Okay.
- Some of the guys

from The Palace,

and Shep wants me to invite
Kathryn.

- Oh, God.

- I don't want her there.
She's literally Debbie Downer.

It's like she walks into a room,

and the life-force is
just sucked out.

Do you want a beer?
I'm gonna have a beer.

- Sure.
Where's the rink?

- In the middle of nowhere.
[laughs]

The only thing
about the roller rink is

that we can't drink
at the skating rink.

- Oh, my God. Really?

- Something about the liability.
- Oh, my God.

- I think Shep can go, like,
two hours without drinking.

It's not that big of a deal.

But we can drink on the bus
on the way there.

I rented this, like,
crazy party bus

picking everyone up.

We should probably have, like,
a little pre-party somewhere

- Okay.
- Maybe that would be

the best plan.

- Landon planned this party
for her, not Shep.

Had it been left to me:

steakhouse and then strip joint.

Although, Shep's too cheap
to tip strippers.

Well, good.

Really looking forward to it.

Let's go find some outfits.

- Yeah, I'm gonna try
some of this stuff on.

Maybe rifle through some
of these "Playboys."

We need September of '79.

- Can I take this
out of the wrapper?

- Yep.
- Morgan Fairchild.

♪ ♪

- Just hanging out in the hood.

I love my neighborhood
because it's a little bit

off the beaten trail.

It's cool.
It makes it more authentic.

♪ ♪

Taylor, how you doing, man?
- Good, man. How are you?

- I live right around the corner
from The Palace Hotel.

Cameran's gonna come by.
- Yeah.

- I might get Joe to make us
something real quick.

Let me talk to him.

It's neither a palace
nor a hotel.

It's my neighborhood bar,

and it's my bar too.

It's a double whammy.

My friend Cameran's gonna come.
Maybe fix us a couple things?

- I got you, man. No problem.

- Business--it's going great.

It's about a year
and six months in.

and our doors are still open
and we're paying the bills.

I'm really proud of it.

- Cheers, man.

- Hello!
- Look who's here.

- White jeans. You got to love
white jeans in the South.

- Of course.
- After Labor Day.

- It's good to see you.
- How are you?

- Hey. Good to see you.
Haven't seen you in a while.

- What did you get?
What did you order?

- I told him to surprise me.
- Nice.

- Yeah.
- All right. See you guys.

Y'all enjoy lunch.

- I love it out here.
- I know. I do too.

So what's been going on?

- Well,
first matter of business:

I have a new listing.

- Okay.
- So I'm going to mentor you

through this process.

You're gonna be my gopher.

I don't know
if any huge deals are

necessarily in the future
for Shep and I,

but idle time is
the devil's playground,

and Shep has a lot of it.

I also want you to try
to advertise it.

You know a lot of people.

So if we sell it,
I will make...

21 grand,

and you bring me a buyer,
I'll split that with you.

100%. Shake on it.

[spits]

- Oh, gross.

- How you guys doing?
- All right.

- Ketchup, mustard.
- Hey. Joe.

This is Cameran.
- Nice to meet you, Cameran.

- I don't think you want to
shake that hand.

- All right.
- I just spit on it.

- Oh, my God.
- She just spit on it

and shook my hand.

Genius.
- All right.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

- You've got to try the burgers.

- 10 Gs in the pocket
won't be bad.

- I love 10 Gs.

I can go surfing.

Maybe we can go
to the Bahamas.

Maybe if I have a girlfriend
one day...

- Yeah.
- We can double-date.

- What about Bailey?

- I really like her a lot.

She just sort of is
very easy, and...

- Yeah.
- Slips right into the crowd.

That's super important.

- And you know I'm ordained now,
so I can marry you.

- Oh, my God.

Stop trying to make me married.

Not everybody wants to get
married all the time, Cam.

- I'm gonna call
your bullsháá,

because guess what your boy
Craig told me the other day.

- What?
- Craig said that you told him

in your perfect life,
you are married with three kids,

living on the beach,

and I about fell
out of my chair.

- Wait. Hold up.
Back up.

Was he sober
when he said this?

- It was in the middle
of the day.

- Sullivan's Island.
Couple kids.

And I swear she's out there.

- Three kids.
- I've heard it all.

- Not three. Two.
- You do want it.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

But there's not a timeline
for a guy, is there?

- He said that you're gonna
start freaking out

by the time you're 40
if that hasn't happened.

- I will.
- So you've got four years.

- Four years.
- Let me tell you something.

You have to date somebody
for a while

before you marry them, so...

- Not according to Patricia.

- Well, hey.
- How did that work?

Hasn't worked out too well
for old--old Pat.

- Seriously, time's a'wasting.

- You can't force
the right one.

Until then,

it's party time.

I'm swingin', baby.

♪ ♪

- Let's do it.

That's gonna go in the
great room in the back house.

Let's put that in my office.

That's gonna go
in the room to the right,

where the little Pack'N Play is.

I worked very hard
to make this house a reality

for me and my children.

I don't want anything to be done
half-ass.

Third floor
in that black room.

Second floor, drawing room.

I need a bigger place.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- Well, welcome.
- I like it. Cozy.

- It's cute. It's tiny, but...
- Yes, ma'am.

- So most everything's gonna be
going on the first floor.

The only thing that needs to go
upstairs is the crib.

So that big box.

- Mm-hmm?

Oh, my gosh.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- Awesome.

The house that I found
for me and my family

is much different
from Thomas'.

It's the size of his kitchen.

Just fit it right over here.

Maybe Thomas' is bigger,
but my house is a home,

and his house is an empty house.

- When I say storage room,

keep going toward the bathroom.

The his is on the left.
The hers is on the right.

We're gonna start using the hers
as the closet.

It is a little bittersweet.

I'll be there, you know,
my children will be there,

but their mother will not
be there.

Just put that in the kitchen.

At one point,
I wanted to get married.

In my heart,
I will always love her,

but I gave it my all,

and it just did not work.

[crunches]

It's broke. Throw it away.

[light music]

♪ ♪

- I have no idea
how to decorate anything.

The original plan was
that Thomas and I were

gonna be living as a family.

At the time,
that's what I truly wanted,

but I realized
that Thomas was not the person

that I thought I met.

- It appears to be a desk.
- That can go...

Gosh, I'm trying to fit
everything in my room,

but I think I might
have to do it out here.

I lost two years of my life.
I devoted those years

to someone who was unworthy,
and...

it breaks my heart.

I really appreciate it.
Thank you.

- My pleasure.
Take care of yourself.

- Coming up...

- I'm gonna throw a little party
for Shep.

- Did you invite Kathryn?

- Why do you care
if she's invited or not?

- Ugh. No more packing, please.

I just want to do couch stuff
all day.

- Will you watch a rom-com
with me?

- Of course, baby.

Babe, this is so good.

- I know.
This is awesome.

This week--how was it?

- I'm just really happy
that it went so well.

- Will you make money
and go buy me shiny stuff?

- Yeah.

Work is going great.
I mean, I don't know.

I just love everything about it.

I'm excited.
I hit the ground running.

- Listen to you.

- J.D. essentially gave me
permission to call the shots.

Like, I'm running
the construction of this hotel

and every day that I come in,

I'm expecting to be handed more
responsibility and more work.

- You got meetings
this afternoon,

a tasting over at Sermet's
at 3:00.

Did you write that down?
- Yeah.

- Don't forget
to call Tommy back

about the Gentry Bourbon
tasting.

Craigy.
- Yeah, man?

- All right.

The hotel is awesome,

but I'd much rather be working
in the bourbon division.

- Can I please hear
about this now?

- Mm-hmm.

But I'd do, like,
their PR and sales

and head that up
and everything.

- That's awesome.

- I bring a lot
to this business.

You know, I'm a finance major,

I have a law degree.

I mean, if they're looking
for someone to really help

expand this bourbon company,
like, I'm their guy.

- Are you happy?
- Mm-hmm.

- If you're happy,
I'm happy.

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello, love.
- Hey, girl.

What's up, stranger?

- Yeah, I am, actually.

- Okay, see you soon.

Now that I'm back in town,

I just want to reach out
and see what's going on

with the people
that I felt were genuine.

- [gasps]
- Hello.

- Hi, love.
- How are you?

- Gosh, I haven't seen you
forever.

- Good to see you.
Oh, my God.

And I feel like my relationship
with Danni is genuine.

So tell me what's been going on.

- Nothin' crazy.

I've missed you.
- Yeah, I've missed you too.

- I've been thinking
about you a lot

and I wanted you to reach out
to me and you haven't.

- I mean, I know you're friends
with Cameran

and I mean, I know there was,
like, the dinner party.

- We are about to go eat dinner

at Cameran's--
she's cooking tonight.

- Cooking?

- I guess she's having,
like, a dinner party.

Did you--yeah, I don't--

- No. I didn't know.

I felt like it was
an acknowledgement

that I'm not really involved
with the group anymore, I guess.

- You know,
the last two year,

it's been the Thomas
and Kathryn show.

It's a situation that

people are scared
to get too close to

because they haven't
communicated with you lately

so they don't know
what is a pressure cooker.

- I know that I've been
very volatile.

You wasted his fáááing money
on it.

Point blank.

Done.
- Uh-oh.

- What happened?
- Whitney.

Kathryn.
- No, I'm good.

Maybe my life is too
up in the air for people

and that scares them.

- You're one of the most
lovable people I know

and people want to see
that Kathryn again.

The only way they're gonna feel
comfortable around you

is if you expose a little bit
of yourself.

- I guess it's just scary
to open up yourself.

- You have to get that out
of your head.

- I guess so.
[chuckles]

- Assuming that people are not
going to approach you,

you need to have that one on one
with people.

I think you'll be
very surprised

with how receptive
people will be.

- Hopefully.

I mean,
I have nine weeks left

that I'm pregnant
and I want to make sure

I get to enjoy it
with everyone,

regardless of Thomas
and all that craziness.

All that matters is,
I have a little Thomas

and he's gonna be way cooler.

[laughter]

[upbeat music]

♪ ♪

[knocking on door]

♪ ♪

- Landon.
- Hi, honey. How are ya?

Muah.
- Good to see you.

- Good to see you.
- All righty.

- Look at this place.
It's stunning.

Wow.

Thomas' style is sort of
old-world masculine.

The place is looking amazing.

These houses in Charleston,
they are a labor of love

and they are very,
very expensive,

so I'm just sort of like--
cha-ching, cha-ching, cha-ching.

I love the black walls.

I think that looks really good.

- So why don't we
have a seat here.

- Are you around this weekend?

- Uh, actually, I've got Kensie.
I'll be out in the country.

- You do?

I'm gonna throw a little party
for Shep.

We're having a roller disco.

- Oh, wow.

- Yeah, it's his birthday.

- So did you invite Kathryn?

- It's nice of you to, like,
be concerned about Kathryn,

but why do you care
if she's invited or not?

I understand why
he's wanting Kathryn

to have other things to do,
besides stalk him,

but this is Thomas' problem,
not mine.

- She is the mother
of my children

and I just want her to feel
a sense of inclusion.

- But you know, Thomas,
to be included,

you have to actively go out and,
like, be a friend to people.

- Mm-hmm.

- Like, I'll see her places
and she just ignores me,

like, won't even look
in my direction,

and I'm like...

- All right.

- "What is that?"
You know.

- Yeah, she's a little bitter.

She got upset about,
you know,

the picture.

- Which one?

- The one when we were out
in London.

- Well, why?

- I told her it was just
an innocent picture.

- I have pictures with
all of my friends

when I'm out with them.

- But she thought you were
deliberately trying to hurt her.

- She is, like,
burn-your-house-down crazy.

I mean, and if she thinks
that she's, like,

a woman scorned, or whatever,
I mean,

I've seen that show "Snapped,"
it's scary.

- Well, enough about me.
- [laughs]

- Let's talk about you.

I mean, what are you doing?

- I'm going up to New York
to meet with these guys.

I'm hoping they can help me
with some, you know, investors.

- Is that right?
- Yeah.

- What is your idea?

- I want to do some sort
of travel website, just--

you know, I travel so much

and get to do
so many cool things

and I just want a way to write
and tell about them.

After meeting with my dad,
I was a little disheartened.

Do you think you can help me?

- To just give you money
is not fair.

- You know, it's sort of
when one door closes,

another one opens.

- Once you have that vision
of exactly what you want to do,

nothing will stop you.

- I think I'm still kind of
working on my vision.

[laughs]

- Mm-hmm.

I don't know
that I would invest.

I wish you luck.

- Thank you.

[upbeat country music]

♪ ♪

[ringtone chiming]

- Lord Jesus.
Oh, my God.

[sighs]

Hey, how are you?

- I'm good.
Um...

- Oh, God.

Well, that's--I really--
I think it's very commendable

that you are reaching out.

You know, you've been in
my thoughts,

especially, you know,
being pregnant again.

Um, but to be very honest
with you,

Kathryn, you know,

you have been very volatile.

For the past two years,

I have had a front-row seat

to the Thomas and Kathryn show.

- That's disgusting.

- You said it.
- What's going on?

- Dude, all I want
is you to fááá off,

is really what I want.

I didn't sleep at all
last night

because they were so loud.

- Thomas, stop!

Oh, my God, Thomas!

- I don't want to be in
the front row anymore.

I want to be in the nosebleeds.

- I've heard before
that you're done with Thomas

and y'all end up back together.

- I mean--
[sighs]

At this point in my life,

I don't know if that's something
that I want,

you know, I mean...

- What the fááá?

I wasn't asking
to be your best friend

and, like, post selfies
of each other

and wear the same matching
pajamas.

I was asking you for coffee.

- I think right now, you know,

you need to focus on yourself

and your children.

- She's not even
giving me a chance.

Cameran, the girl
I met two years ago,

would not be saying that.

She would be open arms to
someone that was reaching out

and needed a friend.

- Okay.

Okay, bye.

- Coming up...

- [chuckles]

Are they too tight
for tonight?

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

[line trilling]

- Hello?
- Hi, this is Landon

calling about our event tonight
at the roller rink.

- Hi, Landon. How are you?
- I'm great.

I just wanted to make sure
everything was set up.

Were you guys able
to get the balloons?

- Shepic, yes.

- Good.

I also sent over
some baby photos of him

that I really wanted to have up.

- Good. Well, we are so excited.

We'll see you
in just a little bit.

Thank you.

[line trilling]

- Hey, buddy.

- [chuckles]
Thanks, Whit.

- I haven't gone roller-skating,
maybe, ever.

Like, I skateboarded, you know.
I didn't roller-skate.

Only losers roller-skated.

We used to kick the sháá out of
the people who did that.

So here I am, going back
to the people that I scorned

as a child and I've become
what I despise.

There's no alcohol at the party.

- [laughs]

All right, buddy.

See you.

I mean, I was flattered
that Landon wanted to

throw a birthday party for me.

It's very nice,
but devil's in the details

and she is not a detail person.

Does she even know me at all?

I don't--I don't get it.

[upbeat jazzy music]

♪ ♪

- What?

Are they too tight
for tonight?

- Babe.

I-I can't take you seriously
in those.

- What?

- You are really
wearing the pants?

- What else--

do you want me to put on
the pink ones?

- They're really tight.

- I know.
I can't really feel my toes.

♪ ♪

- Hello.

Hey, man.
- Hey.

- How are you?
- Doing good.

- Anybody here?

Nobody.

Unbelievable.

♪ ♪

- Hi. How are you?
- Hi. How are you?

I'm great. Thank you.

I placed an order

for some disco cupcakes.

- Okay.

- Oh, my gosh.
I can't wait to see them.

Oh, my gosh.
They are so much fun.

I'm so excited.

I've been practicing all day.

- I'm sitting by myself,
on time,

for my own party

in a polyester shirt

going to a party

that has no booze.

I'm so unhappy.

- I think this is the party bus.

- This is incredible.

- Well, well, well.
- This is awesome.

- Hello.
- Look at you.

- Hey. How are you?

- I'm--guess what?

I'm actually on time.
- Happy birthday.

- I'm on time.
- Nice shades.

- At least you beat Landon.

- ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪

- Landon.

You're late.
- I'm not that late.

- Well, I was here.

- You have to act excited.

Landon's really excited
to throw this party for you.

- I know.
- Tonight's all about you.

- Except the fact that

I've never roller-skated,
maybe, ever.

- Ever?

- I skateboarded, man.

I was a renegade.

- Landon just wanted people to
come roller-skating with her

so she used your birthday
as an excuse.

- Yeah, I think this is just,
like, a personal fantasy.

- Don't throw me under
the disco bus already.

- Hey, is Cam coming?

- I think so.
- And Whitney?

- Yeah, where's Whitney?

- Is Kathryn?

- Kathryn, I--

It's your birthday

so Kathryn's coming.

It's like herding cats.

- I'm a very inclusive person--

very inclusive.

- Happy birthday.

- I'm not Whitney
and I'm not Cameran.

I'm--um, I'm a man.

[laughs]

I don't hold grudges.

I don't worry about well-ups.

- Happy birthday.

- I've got a soft spot
for Kathryn.

When she's not around Thomas,

she's not crazy

and can be
a really lovely person.

- All aboard!

Come on!

- There's a lot of enthusiasm

for a less than enthused
birthday boy.

- Is there beer?

- Oh, yeah, there's beer,

there's vodka--we're good.

- What about Bailey and Kathryn?

- If they're not here by
the time everyone's loaded in,

we're leaving.

Who wants to get on first?
- Me.

- Get on there.
- All right.

- We'll see you there;
we're driving.

- Shep, we'll see you there;
we're driving.

- We're driving.
- It's a school night.

- All right.

- It's kind of silly, like,

Kathryn's not even here,

but for some reason,
they're just on edge.

- Take those.

I got to get my skates.
- Yes.

I guess I'm eating Jell-O
for dinner.

- Vodka--we got vodka.

- Everyone relax, okay?

This is supposed to be fun.

- Wait--go first 'cause
I don't want him to see this.

- All right.

- Hey!
- Hey, there he is.

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you for coming.

- You're welcome.
- Muah.

- Yeah.

- Better late than never.

I'm sorry Kathryn
didn't make the bus.

You know, little white lies.

- I don't think there's any room
for them, anyway.

- Coming up...

- I just chitchatted
with Kathryn.

Invitations went out
and she never got one.

- She's lucky she was invited.

If she doesn't show up,
who cares?

I just want everyone

I just want everyone
to have fun.

- We're here.
- I have on skates.

Help me out.

- Why would you put on skates
before we got here?

- 'Cause I got excited.

[laughter]

- I'm gonna die tonight.

I can feel it.

Hey, John Lennon,
right over here.

Get in there. Get in there.

- Happy birthday.
- I love going--

It's my birthday.
There's no alcohol.

- Landon, do you go a size under
your regular shoes for boots?

- These are custom-fit.
I don't know.

[laughs]

- Can I do an 11?

- Can you fill my, um,
roller skate with vodka?

- They are gonna get mad.

It's just almost not American

to give Shep a birthday party

and not have a beer there.

- Thanks, dude.

- Landon screwed the pooch
on this one.

- Who's this child
handling a shotgun?

- Is that you?
- Yeah.

- Oh, my gosh!
You look so young!

- This is my awkward years.

The hair was a little too big.

That's me too.
- Aww. Baby Shep.

- Sheppers, this is your night.

- I want all of these pictures.
I'm gonna take 'em with me.

I'm building a shrine to myself,

starting now.

- Everybody,
look at Whitney.

- Fáááing hell.

- Ha!

- How does one
propel themselves on this?

- I don't know.
- [laughs]

- Whitney--
- This is fáááing silly.

- Kyle, you want to race?

- Shep, Craig is like
"Blades of Glory."

[laughter]

- Why is he so good at things
that are so embarrassing?

- Whoo!

- Oh, my God,
this is, like, really slick.

- This sucks.

- Whitney, you look like
an old man.

- I've got really long limbs,
so--

- Shep, do a jump.

- Craig, get away from me.

- Nobody touch me!

[upbeat music]

- Ow.

I think I fractured my wrist.

- Shep might get me
in boarding school sports,

but, uh...
- Ow. Ow.

- You know, when it comes to
regular sports,

I think I would beat him
every day.

- Oh.

- Hey, they're holding hands.

They're holding hands.

He's got a girlfriend

that he doesn't know about.

- So are you mad at Landon?

- Yeah, I mean, she should
know me better than this.

Unfortunately, this is
sort of textbook Landon:

big idea,

doesn't really think too much
about her audience.

She will not be planning
my birthday next year.

[laughs]

God bless her.

- Nomies.
- I'm done.

- You done?
- Yeah. Bye.

- Let's just watch.

- Is Kathryn not coming?

- I don't know.

- Who's sick?

- After your party,
did she ever reach out?

- Mm-hmm.
- You did talk to her?

- Mm-hmm. She called me.

- What'd she say?

- She said she wanted
to get together

and get coffee or lunch
or whatever.

And I just felt like,
what's the point?

I'm not the one
she needs to be calling.

She has not directly
done anything to me.

She's directly offended
Patricia.

She's directly offended Whitney.

- Now, I know
it's not my problem,

but I am kind of curious, like,
when did she offend Whitney?

That's what I've been kind of
trying to figure out.

- I'm getting the hang of it.

- Remember at Jekyll Island
when they--

he got into
that screaming match?

- You don't know sháá!

You came to our house.

I was nine months pregnant

and you went to
the motherááááing strip club,

you nasty motherááááer.

- Sit, sit.

- Drink some water
and go to bed, please.

- There has to be
more than that.

- I don't know.
You'd have to ask him.

- So no one really knows

except Whitney and Patricia.

- ♪ I don't give a sháá ♪

♪ On that note,
I'm out ♪

- I'm just--
I'm bummed with Cameran.

I mean, she's being catty.

I'm disappointed.

So she actually, like,
reached out to Cam?

- It was kind of more so
Kathryn extending herself,

wanting to have lunch,

and Cam's response

was kind of like, "Eh."

- I mean, this is like the mean
girl in the high school hallway.

Well, I'm gonna call her real
quick and see if she's coming

'cause I think it'll be good
for her to come.

- Pizza's ready.
Are y'all hungry?

- Yes. Good.
Thank you.

- Cool. This is my kind of food.

Hell yeah.

- Get her some fried food
and do it, STAT.

- Landon,
this is quite the spread.

- Yeah.
- I've been cooking all day.

- Is it time to open presents,
Shep?

- Y'all have presents for me?

- I didn't get you a present,
I'm not gonna lie.

- No, you got him a party.

- Happy birthday.

- Yeah!
- Yay!

- That is really awesome,
Bailey.

Landon took the picture when
we were in Dominican Republic.

Remember?
- I do remember.

- I asked Bailey to paint it.

- So good gift?

- It's the best gift
I've ever had.

- Thank you.

- I just really don't care
about this painting.

It was so sháá, anyway.

Incredibly sháá.
[laughs]

- Oh, I love you.

- Happy birthday, baby!

- Yeah.
- Whoo!

- Watch out, I might fall over
at any second.

- Any second.

- It's like translucent.

- Ooh.

- Hold on.
You got to unbutton on last one.

- Oh, one more?
Let's just keep going--

- No, no, no, no.
Stop.

- Landon, is Kathryn not coming?

- I called her
and she didn't answer.

I thought you said
she was gonna come.

- If she doesn't show,
she doesn't show.

At least it's not on me anymore.

- I'm gonna give her a call.

- It's still nice of you
to invite her,

but it's kind of messed up
for her not to come

if she told you
she was coming.

- It's for Shep.
It's not my birthday.

- I'm gonna go
ride the motorcycle.

- Over there.

[line trilling]

- Hello?
- Hey, Kathryn.

- Hey.
- Is everything okay?

- Listen, Kathryn,

Landon set it up

and there was no invitations.

- Listen, Kathryn,

Landon set it up

and there was no invitations.

- Is that right?

I didn't even get the email

and it's my party.

- I specifically said
to invite everyone to Landon.

I very intensely dislike
excluding people.

- I don't know. Yeah.

- I mean, at any of my parties,

anytime, you're welcome--
more than welcome.

- Thank you, Kathryn,

and I'll see you soon.

I'll talk to you soon, okay?

All right, bye.

Fááá that.

[dramatic music]

I just chitchatted with Kathryn.

- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.

Invitations went out
and she never got one.

♪ ♪

- Well, she can make up
whatever she wants

for her reasoning
to not be here.

- Okay, so she didn't
make that up?

- I didn't send out invitations.
- How was she invited?

- Who cares?
I've invited her.

If you don't show up,
that's your problem.

She's lucky she was invited.

If she doesn't show up,
who cares?

- How was she invited?

- I sent a text out to everyone.

I sent it to everyone.

If she doesn't show up,
who cares?

- I care.

- I think she's a nice kid,

somewhere down deep inside.

- I don't give a sháá
if I ever see Kathryn again.

I mean, she's a horrible person.

- We're gonna learn from all our
trials and tribulations one day,

aren't we, Landon?

- I really don't want to talk
right now.

I'm really angry.

♪ ♪

Even when she's not around us,

she still, somehow,
is able to ruin a good time.

- Take the high road.

It's so easy
to take the high road.

I keep telling everybody that.

♪ ♪

I've had enough.

- On the next episode of
"Southern Charm"...

- Are you kidding?

- What?

- What is that?

- It's a present.
You like it?

- Yes.
I'm like getting--

- Explain your idea to me, like,
in a couple sentences.

- Yeah, well, I mean,
it's just an online magazine,

really, that will cover,
you know, arts and travel

and kind of, you know,
um, arts and...

- Yeah.

- Is there something
going on between us

that I'm just unaware of?

Six months of no returned
phone calls or texts

is no accident.

- Craig's worried that we're not
gonna go to the bourbon tasting.

- When did Craig become
a whiskey maker?

I'm confused.

- You're not in a position

to lead a bourbon division.

And you know that, right?

- It's becoming more apparent,
but, like--

- Did you lead anybody
to believe that?

- [laughs]

♪ ♪

- For more "Southern Charm,"
go to bravotv.com.

[bell dings]