All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S02E02.Guess.Whos.Coming.to.Dinner.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

(Cameran)
Previously on Southern Charm...

It's like a real house
for the big boy.

I know.

(Cameran voiceover)
I sold Shep a house

after he realized
it was finally time

to become an adult
at the ripe old age of 34.

It's not go out all night

and then work
when you're back.

Eventually,
you got to grow up.

(Cameran voiceover)
As Craig was getting schooled

on how to actually work
for a living,

Kathryn was stuck out
in the boonies

getting a crash course
in motherhood.

[baby crying]

Another car ride?
I'm ready to live in town.

(Cameran voiceover)
Meanwhile, T-Rav might be
making a political comeback

if he can get his name
on the ballot.

Okay.

(Cameran voiceover)
And after we all
received an invitation

to the second christening--
yes, the second christening--

of the royal baby
Kensington Calhoun Ravenel...

I don't think
you can fire godparents.

That's not a real thing.

(Cameran voiceover)
Shep reunited
with his old friend Landon,

who moved back to town
just in time for the big day.

I want the old godmother
to be here

so we can, like,
admonish her.

(Cameran voiceover)
But despite
the happy occasion...

Are you ready
to have another one?

(Cameran voiceover)
There was still
something missing.

Mm, there's got to be
a ring first.

(Cameran)
Be careful what you wish for,
'cause you just might get it.

[Mia Sable's It's Easy]

- ♪♪ Mm-hmm,
he's got money ♪♪

♪♪ He's in magazines ♪♪

♪♪ He's got more honeys ♪♪

♪♪ Than any honeybee ♪♪

♪♪ Ba-ba doo ♪♪

♪♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪♪

♪♪ It's easy ♪♪

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

♪♪ Mm-hmm ♪♪

Mom?

- Yeah, honey.
- I'm moving in.

(Bonnie)
Oh, Lord.

Hey!

Do you have
anything else?

Um, this is all I have
for now.

This is your space.

Okay.

Don't look around like--

It's a little formal.

Kind of feels like
a nursing home in here.

[gasps]
Cameran!

(Cameran voiceover)
People always say, "Oh,
well, your husband's a doctor.

He makes money.
He can take care of you."

But it was engrained in me

from the time
I was a small girl,

never depend on a man for money.

- Do you have Wi-Fi in here?
- Yup.

(Cameran voiceover)
My parents got divorced,

so I know nothing in life
is ever certain.

My husband could leave me
next week or croak tomorrow,

and I think it's important
to have a source of income.

So how long do you think
you're gonna need the space?

I mean, well, the way
it works in my office is,

you don't just automatically
get an office space.

You have to earn it.

Up until now, I have been
working from my house,

and I decided
I need a proper work space

just to get me motivated
and have a place to go.

- So I have to sell X amount...
- A ton.

Of dollars, a ton of money
before I actually get--

I thought
you were selling a ton.

Well, I'm--I mean,
I'm doing well.

I'm not doing that well.

[laughs]

My mom is in
the healthcare business,

and she coordinates
in-home healthcare givers,

and she has a great office
in Mount Pleasant,

so I'm so grateful she's going
to let me use some of her space.

Mom.

Can you even hear me
through that door?

What's your wi-fi
connection name?

What do you mean, the name?

To get on the wi-fi.

I don't know.

That's a Chrissy question,
and she's not in yet.

Well, Mom, I can't do anything
unless I have the internet.

That's kind of
the basis of my job.

Well, I just click on--
I just click.

Oh, God, help.

Well, you ready?

[horn beeps]

(Shep)
Well, hello.

- Hi.
- You ready?

- Yes.
- Hey! Hey.

Ugh, she's driving me
crazy today.

I think she knows
something's up.

Oh, yeah? I'd be pissed too
if I was going from terra firma

onto some boat.

She's in there.

She's coming.

All right,
let's go.

It's kind of unique that you're
gonna be living on a boat.

- I kind of like it.
- I do too.

I mean, it's been
really great living at Bam's,

but I'm excited to kind of
have my own space.

A nice little break
from dreary old LA.

Yeah, so dreary.
[laughs]

I'm not your, like,
typical Southern belle.

Sure, I grew up in Georgia

and went to College
of Charleston, but also, like,

I went to school in Italy,
and then I moved to LA,

so I was on sort of
a different path

than most of, like,
the Southern girls.

But I definitely still, like,
had that upbringing

and, like, the heart
of a Southern girl, you know?

All right,
here we are at the dock.

Home, sweet home.

Yeah, soon to be.

After the divorce, I decided
to move back to Charleston

because both of my sisters
are here,

and I have so many good friends
that have been there for me,

like, since, you know,
I was young.

Here we are!

- Miss Adventure?
- Yeah.

It's a double entendre.

A very weak one, at that.

You want to hand me those down
and I'll put 'em in?

Yeah.

Ow! Oh.

(Landon voiceover)
Shep and I met
when I was in college.

I mean, he's just one
of my nearest and dearest

and has been,
I mean, really since we met.

- Do you want a beer?
- Yes, a cold one.

- A Coors Light?
- Yes.

(Landon voiceover)
He is who he is.

He doesn't try
to ever be anyone else.

You know, in LA, it was always
like, "Who do you know?

"Where are you going?

What club are you gonna be at
tonight?"

And being with Shep, it's like,

"Let's get a six-pack
and sit on the beach."

As you can see,
it's very spacious.

Is there a TV?
Can we watch TV?

Yeah. This is the kitchen.

- Okay.
- This is the master.

- Very exciting.
- It's nice, actually.

(Landon)
It's perfect for just me,
you know?

(Shep)
Yeah.
It can fit more than one too.

- Yeah.
- You little player.

[laughs]
I hope so.

It's been so long.

Stop it.

Well, I suggest you make
your highest and best offer,

because that place is not
gonna last for long.

Hey, mama!

Hey, business lady.

Look at me;
I'm all grown up

and working
out of my mother's office.

Congratulations.

Thanks for making the drive
all the way here.

Hey, worth it to see you.

Oh, I forgot to give you
these at the christening.

Kenzie's little booties.

Little K.

Thank you so much.

Well, have a seat.
Come on in.

Aren't you glad
she's not ugly?

I mean, think about it.
I mean, think about it.

No, I know what you mean.
I know what you mean.

I'm terrified
of having an ugly baby.

(Cameran voiceover)
Kensington is very
genetically blessed.

Not all babies are.

There are some ugly babies
in this world.

(Cameran voiceover)
But in the South,
all babies are beautiful,

so when you see a baby
and it's downright ugly,

you say, "Oh, it's precious!

Look at that baby."

It's ugly.

She's gonna be one
to watch out for,

especially if she takes after me
or Thomas.

I have all types
of different properties for you,

so I want to know,
like, in your own mind,

what are you looking for?

I mean, the closer
we are to, you know,

the staples downtown--

like, dinner, taking Kenzie
on a walk...

Okay.

(Kathryn)
I've been living
at the plantation

almost six months.

It's in the middle of nowhere.

I have no neighbors, no freedom,
and it's ridiculous.

Being a realist,
like, y'all are family.

- Oh, yeah.
- You have a baby.

You're gonna get
so much more for your money

if you go to Mount Pleasant.

It's definitely more of,
like, a family-oriented place.

You know, it's quiet.
There's young moms, like--

I just never really
pictured myself

moving to Mount Pleasant
so soon.

I'm only 23.

I guess being downtown does
create a temptation, almost.

Hey, if someone called me
and they were like,

"Meet me at Halls
for a drink,"

I would still probably
want to do that.

I mean, you know
what I'm getting at.

(Cameran voiceover)
Kathryn basically went

from a 22-year-old bar star
to a mother.

Priorities change.

(Cameran voiceover)
I think it's very important
for her to be out of temptation

and be
in a more suburban atmosphere.

Well, I'm glad you're open
to the idea of suburban life.

Yeah.

If you move
to Mount Pleasant,

we're gonna have
to get you a golden retriever,

and you have to join
the Junior League.

[laughs]

That's not happening there.

- These are my new neighbors.
- Look at that.

(Landon)
Yeah.
Look, there's dolphins.

There's little baby ones.

(Shep)
Yeah, yeah, it's like a family.

There's a whole school
of 'em.

- A pod.
- A pod.

- There's a bunch of 'em.
- That's kind of beautiful.

See, you don't get stuff
like that in LA.

So have you kept in touch
with any of our old friends

from back in the day?

I mean, a few, yeah.

It is fun to, like,
bump into people, and--

Yeah, of course.

If you get a toehold
in this town, like,

there's no reason to leave.

That's why I came back.
I mean, I always loved it here.

I always knew I would
come back eventually.

I just thought I'd have someone
to come with me.

[laughter]

But I didn't.

But that's okay.

(Landon voiceover)
I was raised to believe

that you sort of find someone,
fall in love, get married,

and live happily ever after.

But for me,
that's not what happened.

How long has it been?

I mean, not long.

Since you knew it was over,
how long has it been?

Two years.

- Two years?
- Yeah.

Wow.

(Landon voiceover)
I met my husband when I was 24,

and we were together
for seven years.

I sort of was living the dream.

I had a house in the hills,
swimming pool,

staff, the cars, the jewels,
you name it.

When I moved out of the house,

I pretty much just
walked away from all of it.

I really did love him.

It's just, he--
he's never around,

and then I was just alone
with my dog,

which is, like, no different
than being not married, so...

(Landon voiceover)
From the outside,

I probably had everything
that a lot of people wanted,

but on the inside,
I just was so alone.

It wasn't worth it,
so I packed up and I left,

and, you know, sometimes you
just have to save yourself.

So do you recommend
this line of life?

- Uh-uh.
- No?

- It was a nightmare.
- Wow.

I just want to, like, move on.

The only thing that
I've been upset about

with being back is,
everyone's like--

like, treat you with, like...

Kid gloves?

Yeah, like, everyone's like,
"Are you okay?"

I'm like, "I'm not okay,

but I'm gonna pretend
like it's okay."

(Landon voiceover)
There's a lot of pressure,
growing up in the South,

to kind of be perfect--

you know,
the typical Southern girl.

You go from,
like, your parents' house

to the sorority house
to being married

and to have your own house.

But, you know,
at the end of the day,

you've got to do
what you know you need to do.

Thank you for helping me today.

It's good to have you back.

It's really good to be back.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

(Cameran voiceover)
Coming up...

I always like to experiment

now that I'm, like,
learning how to cook.

- Uh-huh.
- It's fun to experiment.

Just a little bit of mayo.

So, Jesse, you've come
very highly recommended.

Now, it's a butler's job
but with extended chauffeuring,

polishing the silver,
dealing with the porcelains.

The paintings are cleaned
with a sable brush,

and in the morning
I like my breakfast in bed.

I call down on the intercom.

I'm ready for breakfast.

Do you have any questions?

Oh...

Not at all.

Now tell me
about your cooking.

I learned a lot
of cooking in Louisiana.

I had a lot
of good friends there,

like Emeril Lagasse
and Paul Prudhomme.

- Fantastic.
- Yeah.

So you can cook
Southern cuisine.

- I can.
- I love that.

Now, there is one
final consideration,

and that involves
a classic gin martini.

Would you mind showing me
your talent in that area?

- I'll do that now.
- Thank you.

(Patricia voiceover)
My...second husband--

I had to think for a minute.

My second husband was the nephew
of Ian Fleming,

who made the best martini
in the world, so I got spoiled,

and now every day at 5:00
I require a perfect martini.

- Hi.
- Hi, honey.

- How are you?
- Good.

What's going on?

Actually, I'm in the process

of interviewing
for a second butler.

It's a big house,
and we need a little more help.

Absolutely.

He's off right now
making a martini.

I don't really care
if he's a serial killer

as long as he can make
a good martini.

You can't have too many butlers.

I don't have a husband
right now,

so I kind of fill up the house
with butlers.

Mmm.

- Fantastic.
- Did it pass the test?

- Fantastic.
- Wonderful.

Well, Jesse, I think
you sound like the perfect man,

so we will see you soon.

Thank you,
and I'll let myself out.

Okay, great.
Thank you.

- My pleasure.
- Bye-bye.

So, Whitney...

are we wearing our sunglasses
now that it's dark?

What's going on?

I have a Swanson
Hungry Man-sized hangover.

I see.
[laughs]

Did you have fun
at the christening?

Ah.

I mean,
it was just all wrong.

First of all, Kathryn has
no hostessing skills.

The timing was bad--
August, heat wave.

(man)
Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, it's so hot.

Thank you.
Oh, thank you. Thank you.

It was like being
in Tierra del Fuego.

[laughs]

This is a secret recipe.

Just a little bit of mayo.

What's mama doing, huh?

She's cooking.

I always like to experiment

now that I'm, like,
learning how to cook.

- Uh-huh.
- It's fun to experiment.

I just threw in whatever
I thought would taste good.

Yeah.

(Kathryn voiceover)
When it comes to a household
and a family,

Thomas is definitely
traditional.

It's been made completely clear

my job is to take care
of the baby and the house,

and his job
is to provide financially.

How do you want
to cook the asparagus?

The less steps, the better.

Just put a little bit
of water in a pot.

You can steam it that way.

What kind of pot?
Like, any kind?

Uh, just like a big pot.

Hmm.

He's doubted me
from the beginning

just because I'm younger,

so I feel like I have to go
the extra mile

to prove that, you know,
I'm "good enough."

Well, say, hypothetically,
Thomas becomes a senator,

and now she's required to host
these elaborate dinner parties.

I mean, it's never
gonna happen, no?

Well, if the christening
is any indication,

I think
she's perfection.

[laughter]

(Patricia voiceover)
Kathryn's lineage
is established.

It goes back
to the 17th century.

But just because
somebody came here

and had a name 200 years ago,

it doesn't mean that you have
class or breeding now.

[laughs]

Why don't I let you do
the asparagus?

'Cause I don't know
what I'm doing.

And I'll play
with this little one. Hi.

I am literally,
like, busting my you-know-what

to have dinner ready,
to take care of the baby,

to have the household clean,
laundry, dishes.

And I sound tired
'cause I'm very tired.

All the time.

Hey, Thomas!

Thomas?

(Thomas)
Yeah. I'm coming.

- I'll be right there.
- Okay.

(Thomas)
Hey. How's it going?

So we're almost done
with dinner.

Will you hold her
for one second?

Sure. Hey, baby.

I need to set the table.

Okay.

She loves her papa too.

Yes, she do.

(Thomas voiceover)
With Kathryn, it's a conundrum.

It totally is.

I'm dealing with somebody
who's very young, you know,

sometimes immature.

How's that gonna look
politically?

You love your dada, huh?
Yes, you do.

(Thomas voiceover)
And at the same time, you know,
I care about her.

I love her.

We share a lot
of the same background.

We have old Charleston
French Huguenot names.

And, obviously, you know,
there's a chemical thing.

I love her physicality.

She has very long legs.

It's the first thing
I noticed about her.

I was like, "Oh, my God."

(Dawn)
Thomas, I think it's time

to upgrade your pots and pans.

(Thomas)
Well, you need to talk
to Kathryn about that.

She needs to go to Bed Bath
& Beyond or somewhere.

(Thomas voiceover)
Can my fears be overcome?

I don't know yet.

I'm gonna try to overcome them.

Thank you.

I'm gonna go ahead and bathe her

and put her to bed.

Okay.
Let's do it.

(Thomas voiceover)
But I--I can't figure it out.

(Patricia)
How did we get ourselves
in this,

is my question to you.

Thomas is your friend.

You brought her into the mix.

Actually, we can blame you.

I didn't tell him
to knock her up.

I just don't know.

I hope he's happy,
but I don't think he is.

Regardless of anything else,

you should help him
in any way you can.

Well, I think he'd be
a decent politician,

and how cool would it be
that I helped orchestrate

some Senate campaign
that was successful?

[bleep], man.
That's us.

All right.

That's us.
Lincoln bedroom.

[laughter]

Not you and I
in the Lincoln bedroom

but having fun
with other people.

All right.

All I care about is Thomas.

I want to see him
win, exceed, excel,

and, you know, my loyalty
is to Thomas

and no one else.

Well, if Thomas loves her,

you'll just have
to work around it.

You are nice and clean, girl.

My little lamb chop.

(Thomas)
Kathryn? It's dinner time.

Let Dawn do that.

I'm trying, honey.

Food's getting cold.

I'm coming.

We have a nanny.
She can take care of the baby.

Let's eat.

Oh.

[sighs]

When I grew up, my father
was the sole breadwinner.

I was the youngest of six kids,

and somehow my mother was always
able to get dinner on the table

warm, hot, ready for us to eat.

So I just expect somebody

to at least come close
to that standard.

So how was
the campaign office today?

Pretty good. Busy.

A lot of work goes into it,

and I still have to
get things in order

for the dinner party
this week.

Well, is there anything
I can do to help?

You know, it's just a matter
of getting catering and--

Just show up.
I'll handle all the details.

(Kathryn voiceover)
Every time I offer help,

I'm, like, rejected immediately.

You know, I'm on your team.
It's not just you.

I'm not just gonna be
behind the scenes like, "Oh,

"let me smile and look cute

and then no one's ever
gonna hear from me."

That's just
not the kind of girl I am.

This is very good salmon.

I'm glad you like it.

(Cameran voiceover)
Coming up...

- She might need a lawyer.
- I need a lawyer.

I can't technically claim
to be a lawyer yet.

Will you go ahead
and [bleep] take the bar?

It's ridiculous.

Get out of here.

(Craig)
All right, you ready?

(Craig voiceover)
I have one sibling.
I have a younger brother.

We're not the closest
of brothers, you know,

when it comes to talking,
but, I mean,

we'd have each other's back
in a heartbeat.

We're so competitive.

Oh, [bleep].

It's probably
one of the reasons

that we have a little bit
of a harder time

opening up with each other.

But you can never beat me
in this game anyway.

It'll be the first thing
you ever beat me at.

Yeah, right.

(Craig voiceover)
When it came to sports, well,

he was always,
according to the statisticians,

a little better than I was,

but I'd still never admit
that he can beat me in anything.

When's the last time you played?

Uh, probably out in Denver
with Dad.

He's got that tournament
in Ocean City this week.

Do you still want to take over
Dad's company?

I mean, yeah, that's--
I mean, that's pretty much

what I'm, like,
thinking right now.

(Craig voiceover)
My dad owns a successful

fire and water damage
restoration company.

He built the business up
to provide us

with whatever we needed
to go out and be our own person,

and I'm happy living the life
I have right now,

and as long as that continues to
make me happy, I'm gonna do it.

That was always
a big relief to me,

'cause I always felt bad

'cause he knew I wasn't
gonna take it over.

You know, my brother
and I live different lives,

and they just know I'm from
a different cut than that.

- You dating anyone?
- No.

I feel like you usually
have girlfriends

a little longer than me.

Have you ever actually had
a girlfriend?

Yeah, I know how much

Mom would love me
to bring home someone.

It might happen tomorrow.

It might happen
in five years.

We'll see.

I wouldn't even say tomorrow,

but, yeah, five years
sounds about right.

Oh, I'm too hung over for this.

You want to take a breather
and get some water?

Yeah, sure.

You want to go
tonight?

Yeah, I'm down.

I'm surprised
you can get up in the mornings

and still balance
all your law

and work and social life
and all that stuff.

I'm just good
at getting my work done, like,

on my own schedule.

I just can't wake up
in the morning sometimes,

but I always get my work done.

It's always done on time,
above par.

It just makes the owner
a little uneasy

that sometimes
he's in the office

and I'm not there.

- Come into work at 9:00.
- Right.

There's nothing
wrong with that.

I mean, it's really hard
to tell your boss

that it's pointless for me
to waste my time

to come to the office
during those hours.

Yeah.

There's a reason Charleston's
referred to as Neverland,

and that's because there are
so many distractions...

What should we do
after this?

And things to do other than
being a responsible human being.

We're dancing!

Becoming an adult here
is really hard.

I feel like you're 26;
I'm 23.

It's not like we have to set
our plan ahead right now.

But when do you think,

like, you'll actually start
to be able to settle down

and get all your [bleep]
straight?

I have my JD now.

I'll pass the bar.

You know, I'm a big boy.

I can figure it out
on my own.

(Craig voiceover)
You know, a lot of people
have to graduate law school

and go right into studying
for the bar exam.

I don't feel
that I needed to do that,

so I've been, you know,
enjoying a much needed break.

(man)
Craig! This is Libby.

How are you?

- She might need a lawyer.
- I need a lawyer.

Her landlord's
gonna sue her.

I can't technically claim
to be a lawyer yet.

- God damn it.
- Oh!

Will you go ahead
and [bleep] take the bar?

It's ridiculous.
Get out of here.

I'm sorry I asked!

I'm sick of everyone
giving me [bleep]

about not taking the bar.

I have a plan,
I know what I'm doing,

and I'll take it when I'm ready.

But until then,
just let me be me.

Let me do me.

- All right. Sweet.
- Let's do it.

Now you can hit it.

(Craig)
All right, I'm gonna kill you.

Let's get out of here.

That'll just have to do.

Okay.

Gross.

She must be really tired.

[phone ringing]

Hello, darling.

(Kathryn)
Hey, Cameran.
What are you up to?

I am going to look
at some property downtown.

(Kathryn)
Nice.

(Cameran)
Wait, you said you had
an announcement?

That's exciting.

I will definitely be there.

I cannot wait.

(Kathryn)
Okay, perfect.

(Cameran)
I'll see you tomorrow. Bye.

I am hoping
that this "announcement"

is that Thomas is going
to finally be

making an honest woman
out of Kathryn.

[phone rings]

- What's up?
- Hey.

Did he do a good job
picking the ring out?

What in the world?

- What?
- I don't know.

I'm guessing the announcement.

Thomas, God, like, just please
don't do anything rash

before you talk to me.

No, I'm just messing with you.

I'm excited, and I'll, uh--
I'll see you there.

[phone line ringing]

(Whitney)
Hello?

Hey, Whit.

So Kathryn just called me
and said her and Thomas

have a "big announcement"
to make and want us all--

- Oh, Lord.
- Yeah.

I don't know. Stranger things
have happened, Whitney.

You never know.

Jesus Christ.

I don't even know
where to begin or end.

I mean, why else
would they, like,

be bringing us all together

unless him and Kathryn
are getting married?

I mean,
I guess I'm happy for her?

I know that's
what she kind of wants,

but I don't know what he wants,

and I don't think
they know what each other want.

It's very, very confusing.

(Whitney)
Yeah, good.

Well, thanks for the heads-up,
Cameran.

Yeah.

(Cameran)
Okay, will do.

I love Thomas,
but he never listens.

This is a huge mistake.

Bye.

Jennifer!

This looks fabulous.

I think we're gonna
probably put Thomas here.

All right, so white wine,
red wine, Sauvignon blanc,

and let's do a cab,

something big and robust
to go with the meat.

California, big, fat,
chewy cab.

Okay.

(JD voiceover)
So Thomas called.

He wants a private room
at Sermet's tonight

all to himself with he
and his close friends,

'cause he's got some big news
to share,

but my lips are sealed.

They have to find out
on their own.

- The place looks gorgeous.
- Thank you.

Girls, you ready?
Are we gonna be good?

I'm ready.

Just don't forget
the basics.

Serve on the left,
pull from the right.

Lots of smiles.

And whatever you do, don't
respond to what Thomas says.

[laughing]

- Hi!
- Hi. Thank you.

Game faces.

(Jennifer)
Welcome to Sermet's, y'all.

- Hi!
- Good to see you.

- Good to see you too.
- Pleasure.

- Hello.
- Hello, darling.

- John David.
- What's happening?

(JD)
You guys want to grab a little
something to take the edge off?

I probably shouldn't drink
tonight.

I'm kidding.

Yeah, right.

I'm kidding.
I'm definitely drinking.

Do you have
Johnny Walker Black?

Wait, is this the table?

(JD)
That is.

Do you know what's going--
what this is all about?

He said, "I want to be
in a private room,"

so that tells me
it's something important.

What do you think?

I think he might be saying
he's gonna marry Kathryn.

(Shep)
I still don't get it.

They have
a volatile relationship,

Thomas and Kathryn, and I don't
know if marriage is the answer.

But I try to kind of stay
out of people's lives

that scare me.

[laughs]

I guess Thomas will make
the grand entrance finale?

The horns will sound.

The trumpets will play.

- What up, guys?
Oh, my God, it's Tom Cruise!

- Hey.
- Hey.

Hey, Tom.

What's up, jerk?

- Jerk?
- I'm just kidding.

You look nice.

What did you do today?

What?

I actually still have [bleep]
to get done before tomorrow.

I have to drive two hours
tonight.

- Where do you have to do be?
- Beaufort.

No, it just sucks, 'cause I
can't really drink tonight.

(Shep)
Poor Craig.

You've only been out, like,
four nights this week.

This is gonna be
pick-on-Craig hour?

No, no.

(Cameran)
Out of all these idiots,

I've always had
high, high hopes for Craig.

Unfortunately, those high hopes
are dwindling.

Back from Napa Valley.

- I know.
- Danni!

Hello.

- Oh, my God.
- How are you?

How are you, darling?

You're really tall.

Good to see you.

What is this? I like that.

I don't know. A bib?

(Cameran)
It's a collar necklace.

That's kind of cool.

(Craig)
I don't know the word
that I would use to describe.

(Cameran)
I know that Thomas
has expressed interest

in running for Senate,

so I think
she is dressing the part.

But if I were Kathryn,
I would be aiming more toward,

like, Kate Middleton.

For whatever reason,

Kathryn is aiming toward, like,

Miss Doubtfire.

[laughing]
It's--it's--

Phew.

(Cameran voiceover)
Coming up...

- Hey, everybody.
- Hello!

- How you doing?
- Hey, bud.

Did you not know
she was coming?

[bleep].

Thank you.

(Thomas voiceover)
I've made this decision.

I had given it a lot of thought,

and I think now
is the right time to do it,

so I want to share it
with some of my closest friends.

(Cameran)
The man of the hour!

- Hey, honey.
- Hey, how are you?

Good to see you.
All right. You look great.

(Thomas)
Good to see you.
Looking sharp.

- Hey.
- Hey, buddy. How are you?

- Our real estate agent.
- Good to see you.

You gonna find me
a pad downtown?

I know.
I was just telling her.

We have to get y'all
out of the boonies!

Yeah. Definitely.

I can't take the drive.

(man)
But don't ever sell that estate,
right?

(Thomas)
No. It's nice to get away.

He's gonna pass it down
to Kenzie.

Yeah.

(Shep)
She's gonna have rager parties
out there.

- Stop!
- Yeah.

Let's not even think
about that.

I'll probably be at a few.

Oh, gosh.
You would.

No, no, and no.

(Cameran)
Thomas, who else is coming
that we're waiting on?

Whitney.

(Craig)
He bailed on me.

He was supposed to pick me up,
and he just never showed up.

So I don't know.
Hopefully he's okay.

He probably has, like, cucumbers
on his eyes, the face mask on.

(man)
Yeah! That was fun.

(Whitney)
We could jam on this [bleep]
all mother[bleep] day,

but we need to get
this [bleep] tight.

When the invite came
for Tom's dinner,

I had prior engagements.

And I need a shot
of tequila just to--

Can you get me a shot?
Thanks, baby.

(Whitney voiceover)
I love Thomas,

but I don't think
I could stomach seeing him

make another [bleep]
terrible mistake.

I can't hear me.
I can hear you.

(man)
I can hear you.

I hear you.
I can't hear me.

The logical solution
is to turn down,

but who the [bleep] wants
to do that?

[phone ringing]

Feel the magic, bro.

(Cameran)
We're just waiting on Whitney.

(Kathryn)
Where is he?

- Let's call Whitney.
- We've already called him.

- We already did.
- We called him.

He's not answering.

- Hey, everybody.
- There's Jennifer.

- Oh!
- How are y'all?

Good.

Good to see you.

Hi. Nice to see you.

What were we talking about?

(Jennifer)
Don't y'all look nice?

- Hey! How you doing?
- Hey, bud. You look nice.

(Kathryn voiceover)
When I was pregnant,

I saw a name pop up
on Thomas's phone a lot.

It was Jen,

and he basically told me
he hardly knew the girl.

- Want something to drink?
- Yeah.

- What'd you like?
- Y'all have any champagne?

- They got that.
- I want that.

(Cameran)
Did you not know
she was coming?

It's whatever.

Oh, no. [bleep].

Charleston is a very small town.

Everybody knows everybody,

and I've definitely seen
and met Jennifer before,

but I didn't know she was
close enough friends with Thomas

to actually come
to his dinner party.

- You smell good.
- Yeah, I showered.

Oh, you showered.

It's different
from when I normally see you.

I mean, Thomas has been
in Charleston his whole life.

If there's a pretty blonde
over the age of 30,

he's probably met her
around town

and maybe had
a little relationship.

Who the hell knows?

Um, I'm sorry.

Can I actually order something
a little stronger?

Just, like, Knob Creek?

[indistinct conversations]

No straw or anything.

(Thomas voiceover))
You know, if I had to sit down

and tell her every person
I was friends with,

I mean,
that'd be a long conversation,

so I don't know
if I mentioned it or not.

All right, Shep!
Grab the ladies.

We can't wait for Whitney
anymore.

Let's just go ahead
and get started.

Where is he? Is he,
like, seriously not coming?

I don't even care.

I got Thomas here, and then...

- So, Thomas.
- Yeah.

(Shep)
How do y'all know each other?

(Thomas)
I've known her and her family

for, I don't know, years.

(Shep)
And then André,

you had a little thing
with André, didn't you?

(Jennifer)
Yeah, I dated André

when André was renting
Thomas's house on Church.

(Thomas voiceover)
Jennifer, she used to date
my friend André Bauer,

former Lieutenant Governor
of South Carolina.

She's been somebody that I can
count on without question.

Yeah. She spent a lot of time
in my bed.

I'm just kidding!
[laughs]

Let's keep it controlled,
okay?

(Craig)
Thomas, you always seem
to put your foot in your mouth

at these dinner parties.

Kathryn's sitting right there.

Like, apparently, he didn't
learn his lesson the first time.

(Cameran)
What if you found out
that this girl

was single and ready to mingle?

(Thomas)
I'd be all over her
like white on rice.

Really?

Uh-oh.

This guy's [bleep] nuts.

Oh, Lordy.

[applause]

Whitney!
Where did you come from?

[bleep] band was, like,
jamming, bro.

(Kathryn)
He's 47 and he's in a band?

I think that that is
a very crazy version

of a mid-life crisis.

Whitney, what's the name
of your band?

It's Renob, and that's "boner"
spelled backwards.

- Okay.
- Renob. [laughs]

(Kathryn)
I feel like your band name
is supposed to be something

you feel very,
like, connected to,

so he's very connected
to boners?

That's odd.

Just saying.

(Shep)
A white table cloth means

we can't talk about such things,
right?

(man)
Bon appetite, y'all.

(man)
Cheers. Thank you, guys.

The steak is so good.

[glass chiming]

- Huh?
- Uh-oh. Speech.

(JD)
What do we got, T-Rav?

I was expecting a podium,
a teleprompter.

We're taking it deeper.

As unbelievable
as this may sound

to everybody at this table,

as a result of the fact

that we have collected
17,000 signatures...

I am going to be on the ballot.

You're looking at potentially
the next United States Senator.

And that's why
I need your support.

- Hear, hear!
- Hear, hear!

(man)
All right.

(Cameran)
Don't get me wrong;

I am super excited
that Thomas is going to run.

I'm very proud of him,

but a little piece of me
is sad for Kathryn.

Okay, Thomas.

How confident do you feel
that you can win this election?

I don't want to be
overconfident,

but I feel that if we
can raise the money,

we can get the message
out there,

we definitely have
a shot at this.

(Shep)
I said it last year when he
was kicking around the idea.

That's a very uphill battle
that he's fighting.

Cocaine, man.

It makes people crazy,
that word.

That's why I think the political
aspirations are noble,

but you know that it's
gonna be real tough.

There's a part of me
that's like, "Dude, don't do it.

Like, you're just lighting money
on fire."

(Cameran)
What can we do to help you?

Give me some money!
Give me some money.

You think you can do that?

- Yes.
- I got it.

We need to find more people
that would donate too.

(Shep)
I will.

(Jennifer)
Think about this, the untapped
market of younger people.

(Shep)
I got it.
My own T-Rav pint glass.

- There it is.
- You like that?

I'll put it on my butt
and go out tonight.

[laughs]

I'm Thomas Ravenel,
and I approve of that sticker.

[laughter]

(Thomas)
Quit kicking me.

(Cameran voiceover)
Coming up...

(Whitney)
I was coming here
expecting a grand announcement.

Perhaps you might marry
this young lady here.

- Cameran?
- What?

If you weren't married, would
you give me the Heisman?

(Cameran)
What does that mean?

I'm just curious.

(Danni)
You mean Heimlich?

(Cameran)
No, the Heisman, like--

Like "get out of here."

Like, stiff arm.

(Cameran voiceover)
Shep's chances with me,

if I was not married, would be
absolutely, unequivocally zero.

Not only would I do this,

I would also have mace
or a taser in this hand

to keep Shep away from me.

I'm not joking.

You'd probably tell me to,
like, jump off a cliff.

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

'Cause you'd see
right through me?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

If I could write a book about
what I don't want in a husband,

I would literally
just describe Shep.

Just wanted to make sure.

- Thomas.
- Yes?

Is the floor open
for us to ask you questions?

Fire away.

- Okay.
- Boom. Go.

If you could compare yourself
to any former president,

who would it be?

Calvin Coolidge.
Next question.

What is your view
on gay marriage?

According
to the 14th amendment,

we're gonna confer benefits
on straight couples.

We need to do likewise with gay.

(Cameran)
The Middle East!
The Middle East!

- You're prepared, Cameran.
- These are the issues.

To be honest,
when Thomas talks politics,

it's about the only time
he actually really makes sense.

(Thomas)
We've just spent,
according to a Harvard study,

$4 to $6 trillion there.

What has it gotten us?

You're just,
"Is this the same person?"

Have you challenged
Lindsey Graham to a debate?

Yes, I have.

- Has he responded?
- No.

I want to know--

Mm-mm! She's exceeded
her quota of questions.

She's making me nervous
down there.

Someone else.
[laughter]

(Whitney)
Thomas, I know you've been
running for the past month.

I was coming here
expecting a grand announcement.

Perhaps you might marry
this young lady here.

We're doing
what works for us now.

Good.

Look, I promise you
I'll help you out

and do whatever I can.

Why, are you running
a puppet regime?

(Whitney)
Not a puppet regime.

It's just, I want him
to [bleep] win in the end.

Pull out your checkbook
right now, Whitney.

What's the first step
that he can do to help you?

The political ads,
I want to help out.

Yeah.

I'll bring my friends in
from LA.

I want to take a guerilla
kind of, like, approach

to this whole thing.

Both Clinton, Kennedy,

they didn't go with the typical
political establishment

in cutting their ads.

They went to Hollywood.

I want to bring in
the real talent.

I believe in you.
I think we can [bleep] do this.

(Cameran)
I think Thomas
is an absolute moron

for letting Whitney, in any way,
help him with his campaign.

I don't know
if I would let Whitney

pass out bumper stickers for me.

(Whitney)
Thomas, the most
important thing

about getting you
into the Senate--

so we can cast for interns,
which I think is important.

[laughter]

That's his right-hand man,
Renob...

AKA Boner.

(JD)
Let's raise a glass, shall we?

- Yes.
- Hear, hear.

To Thomas Ravenel
and to freedom.

(JD)
Senator T-Rav.

- Here's to Senator.
- Let freedom ring!

(woman)
On the next episode
of Southern Charm...

I didn't know you and Thomas
were as close as you are.

Did something ever happen,
like, intimate?

You know how he is.
He's a flirt.

I feel like I need
something bigger, almost.

Like, what club, like, is there
even for me to work towards,

like, getting VIP anymore?

Like, what are you--are you
a--are you a rapper?

I mean, nobody
in our family ever did it.

I just couldn't just,
like, grin and bear it anymore.

This is as good as it gets?

Like, no.

There he is.
I am a filmmaker.

And I think I can make a pretty
funny, good campaign ad.

(Thomas)
I'm Thomas Ravenel,
and I approve this message.

I'm at home
taking care of your child,

and you're filming
a commercial dancing with girls?

- Let's just move past that.
- No, no, no.

This is so embarrassing
and disgusting.

(Cameran voiceover)
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