All language subtitles for Southern.Charm.S02E01.Return.to.Neverland.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

(Cameran)
Last season
on Southern Charm...

we got dirty down South
with the boys of Charleston.

- T Ravenation!
- That's right.

I've been sent
from the heavens

to help all you turds.

[laughs]

(Cameran)
Meanwhile, I was trying
to earn a living.

I know you're loaded.
Let me sell you a house.

(Cameran)
And like me, Craig thought
he had found his calling.

I like arguing.
I like being in the courtroom.

What's important to me

is actually making something
of myself.

(Cameran)
While Shep hadn't
found his calling,

it's probably
because he wasn't looking...

I don't like doing
manual labor.

[laughs]

Which may be why Whitney bailed
on their plan

to open a restaurant
together.

I don't think
your heart's really

in the restaurant business.

Decided to go ahead
without you.

(Cameran)
Meanwhile, good old T Rav
was thinking

of getting back
into politics

and was ready to change
his image and settle down.

Find me the right woman,

I'll start impregnating her
right now, literally.

Can I borrow a room?

He's crazy.

(Cameran)
Instead, he met Kathryn.

If you're red,
be redder.

- If you're tall, be taller.
- Exactly.

Enchanté.

(Cameran)
And so did everyone else.

(woman)
Do you think Kathryn
likes Shep?

(woman)
I thought Kathryn liked you.

You hooked up with her
last night.

So what?

(Cameran)
Thomas was attracted
to Kathryn's

sterling family pedigree,

and after a pregnancy scare
brought them closer together...

He said
if we get pregnant,

we're getting married
immediately.

(Cameran)
We all had reason
to be concerned.

Instead of impregnating
21-year-olds,

you might refocus,
is all I'm suggesting.

Sleeping with three people
at this table

in the course of three weeks
isn't class.

(Kathryn)
Oh, really?
Three people? Name them.

I don't need to.

(Cameran)
But when Thomas wouldn't listen,

Whitney finally came clean.

Did I hook up with Kathryn
in a moment of weakness?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

Jesus Christ.

(Thomas)
She blatantly lied
to my face.

[sighs]

We're in love, Thomas.
We were in love.

How is not meant
to be that way?

I'm sorry.

(Cameran)
We all thought
we had seen the end

of Thomas and Kathryn,

but we were wrong.

[baby cries]

She loves her daddy.
Look at that.

We're a family.

[chuckles]

Ain't love crazy?

[laughs]

[Mia Sable's It's Easy]

- ♪♪ Mm-hmm,
he's got money ♪♪

♪♪ He's in magazines ♪♪

♪♪ He's got more honeys ♪♪

♪♪ Than any honeybee ♪♪

♪♪ Ba-ba doo ♪♪

♪♪ Ba-ba dee-ee-ee ♪♪

♪♪ It's easy ♪♪

♪ As the birds and the bees
and the one, two, threes ♪

♪♪ Mm-hmm ♪♪

[baby wailing]

- Have a good day, baby.
- Thank you. Bye.

- I love you.
- Love you.

[alarm beeping]

[alarm beeps]

[phone line trilling]

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You got early today.
- Yes, I did.

Surprise.
I got married.

Thank god Jason came
and swept me off my feet.

It was definitely
a whirlwind romance.

I got married at a beautiful
outdoor ceremony

beneath a large, live oak.

It was a very Southern wedding.

Are we gonna eat crabs
for dinner?

Oh, you're such
a good provider.

Okay, sweetie, I'm actually
on my way to Shep's.

Being a real estate agent--
it's tougher

than I thought
it would be.

Shep--thank goodness
he felt pity on me

and hired me
as his real estate agent,

and he's decided to buy
some property downtown.

- Love you.
- Okay, love you too.

Bye.

[saw whirring]

(Troy)
Finishing up the siding.

Then we're moving
into the inside.

Electrician's coming today.

There's gonna be a fence
on this side

of that chain link fence.

Yeah, I think we're gonna leave
the chain link fence intact

and start it right here
so the gate starts right there

and goes straight back.

(Shep)
Over the summer,
my brother bought a house,

and there's no way I was gonna
let that scallywag

get one up on me.

I was becoming
a very, very black sheep,

and I needed to do something
about it.

- Hey, Cam.
- Oh, my god.

It's come a long way,
hasn't it?

It's like
a real house.

Since it was
just a piece of grass.

- For the big boy.
- I know.

This is a very
good investment.

Shep bought a house
on the east side of Charleston.

The east side is one
of the last remaining

kind of undeveloped places
downtown Charleston

that is within walking distance
to everything hot.

In ten years, it'll be probably
double what he paid for it.

So this is
the kitchen, Cam.

Your kitchen,
where you're gonna do

lots of early morning
breakfasts with...

- Morning?
- Ladies that sleep over.

[chuckles]

They don't get breakfast.
They get cab fare.

Oh, my god.

Last year,
I did have hope for Shep.

- Let's remember this moment...
- Okay.

And me saying this.

Two years from now,
you will be married.

(Cameran)
Well, I have drastically
changed my thinking.

I realized Shep is not
a marrying kind.

I don't think there's a chance
this house will ever see

a wife, babies,
or even a dog or a goldfish.

- It feels so much bigger than--
- I know.

Than it is.

(Cameran)
I think
this is awesome.

I like the fact that my
restaurant's around the corner.

I'm just happy.
I got it all going on right now.

It's good.

I decided to invest
in a restaurant of my own.

It's called
the Palace Hotel.

It is a dive bar,

but the food is much better
than your typical dive bar.

I know that Whitney's
business partner Bryan

had doubts
about my abilities.

I would be afraid to do
a hot dog stand with Shep.

[laughs]

Well, that bastard
can shove it...

[laughs]

'Cause I did it.

So I have to move out
of my apartment

at the end
of this month.

Where you gonna live?

With Whitney
on the beach.

Oh, my god.

On the beach.
We got a four-bedroom house.

Wait, you are voluntarily
living with Whitney.

Yeah, I mean, I need
a place for two months.

I don't see Whitney
flourishing

living the beach life.

Maybe he wears shorts.
Does he even have calves?

I don't think so.

Whitney is self-conscious
about living with his mom,

and I just need a place
for the summer.

It's a perfect fit.

Oh, my god.
Poor Whitney.

Speaking of weird couples
living together,

what do you think about
old T Rav and Kathryn?

When I found out
that Kathryn was pregnant,

this was my reaction.

We're going
to the christening.

I know.
We got to get him a gift.

- For the second christening?
- Yeah.

That is kind of BS,
don't you think?

I mean,
you get one gift.

What did we get him
the first one?

I can't remember.

So why are we
doing this again?

I mean,
we're in the South.

You buy a gift
for everything.

I was a little surprised
when I received my invitation

to the second christening
of Kensington Calhoun Ravenel,

but then I heard
the first godmother was fired

because she was caught
flirting with Thomas.

It is just
the hot mess express.

[laughs]

All aboard.

[baby cries]

(Kathryn)
I hear you.
I'm coming.

Hey, little princess.

What you doing?

Did you have
a good nap?

The biggest roller coaster

you could ever imagine yourself
going on?

That's what I've gone through
in the last year.

I'm gonna make you
a new bottle.

The day that my baby was born--
like, that was amazing.

Everyone thought,
"She's just trying to trap him

and do this and that,
and blah, blah, blah."

And all I wanted to do
was just have my baby there

and not care
about what they said.

Let's learn
some French.

[speaking French]

You're gonna be able
to speak French with daddy

before I can.

When I found out
I was pregnant,

Thomas--his initial reaction
was, "Oh, that's great,"

and then ten minutes later,
he's like,

"Oh, wait,
what did I just do?

I wanted a baby,
but now I really do have one."

[cries]

No more tummy time.

Don't you?

[both laugh]

Yeah.

Seeing her face
and seeing her smile,

she's so filled with joy,

but being a new mom,
it's really, really hard.

Go outside?

I used to be able
to do whatever I want.

I used to go out with my friends
and, like, go out downtown.

I could put on mini skirts,

and I didn't feel like
my love handles

looked to big
or whatever.

Yum.

It's the opposite now.

[bell jingles]

- Good morning, madam.
- Good morning.

Thank you.
Are these dietetic?

Indeed.
Just only eat half.

[chuckles]

Yeah,
that'll happen.

- Good morning.
- Hi, honey.

Hey, Mom.

Looking very Bette Davis
over there.

[laughs]

I feel very Bette Davis
this morning.

So you still haven't
told me

whether you can go
to this christening

that Thomas and Kathryn
are having.

They've already had
a christening.

I know.
I went to that one.

You were in Europe,
but I went.

(Whitney)
When I found out
Kathryn was pregnant,

I was [bleep] glad
it wasn't me.

In my day,
if you got "knocked up,"

you went to a home
for a unwed mothers.

Your parents
changed their name

and moved to Missoula.

I mean--
So I just don't know.

You shouldn't have
a second christening.

I mean, it just
invites comments.

It's just a little too crazy
for me.

Even for me,
which is saying a lot.

Have you figured out
where you'll be living?

Well, it looks like Shep and I
are renting a beach house.

Whitney is my only child,

but I can understand
how he needs his space.

He doesn't want to be living
with his mother.

I understand it.
I just don't like it.

You and Shep in a beach house
seems like debauchery,

cavorting, canoodling.

Yes, but, I mean, I think
Shep has a new perspective.

I think he's realized
he needs to focus a little more.

Well, he has a restaurant.
I mean, he actually...

He's doing quite well.

Got his restaurant
up and going.

What about
your restaurant?

Um, yeah,
it's going well.

It is.

Hmm.

(Kathryn)
Coming up...

(Thomas)
It's gonna take somebody
outside that system

to come in a change it.

Okay.

- How you ladies doing?
- Fine, how are you?

Thomas Ravenel,
running for the Senate.

I had given it
a lot of thought

about reentering
the political ring

to see if I could
make an impact.

So I'm running
for the United States Senate

against Lindsey Graham.

- What's your name, sir?
- Randal Graham.

Graham, are you
in relation to Lindsey?

- No.
- Okay.

Well, I hope you'll consider me,
'cause I'm running against him.

You know, I didn't run
in the Republican primary,

the Democratic primary.

I have to get my name
on the ballot,

and that's gonna require
10,000 signatures.

Well, I'm running
as an Independent,

because I don't believe
the two parties

are serving
the country well.

It's gonna take somebody
outside that system

to come in and change it.

Okay.

I think I have a lot of baggage
that comes with my candidacy

in that I was using cocaine.

I shared cocaine.
I didn't sell it.

I merely shared it.

And I went
to federal prison.

- How are you?
- No, thanks.

No shake.
Yeah, I don't blame you.

Got to get
the Purell out.

You know, I feel
that I have a good message,

but sometimes
people are too fixated

on the messenger.

Of course, you know, I got
to ask you the obvious question.

Could Thomas Ravenel
come back?

John from Mount Pleasant.

(John)
You screwed up, and now
you have to pay the piper.

(Thomas)
I did my time,

and there will be
a political future.

I'm not done yet.

I believe
in second chances.

I believe that Tom is ripe
for a comeback,

and I'm not going down
without a fight.

Well, I believe
in the 2nd amendment,

the right to bear arms.

I think that should be
the law of the land.

Yeah.

How you doing, sir?

[phone ringing]

Hello,
this is Craig.

- Craig, it's Casey.
- Hey, what's up, man?

What's going on?
Where are you today?

I worked--
I worked pretty late.

Finishing all that work.

Literally I've seen
the sun rise

maybe 27 days
out of the month.

I know.
I do that.

So I'm actually just getting
a few hours of sleep real quick.

Sorry to interrupt
your sleep,

but I really need you
to come to the office.

All right, I'll get ready
as fast as possible.

- I'll come by.
- Okay, bye.

Over the course
of the past year,

I actually graduated law school,
which was pretty neat.

It's definitely the first time
in my life

that I can't just be
a "student."

I'm working at a law firm
full-time

trying to pay off
my student loans

and become an attorney,

and trying to do all this
while living in Charleston.

Recently, I've been able
to maintain a work schedule

that also caters
to my social life.

I can still go out
as much as I want

when I get all my work done.

- What's up?
- Hey, you, how are you?

Good, how are you?

I know.

Hey, Craig,
come on in, bud.

- What's up?
- Hey.

I just wanted to take
a few minutes

to go over where you are
with everything.

Where my frustration lies
is that you work odd hours,

and at a law firm,
that doesn't really work.

Part of any business
is your boss seeing you.

Just feel like sometimes
it's not necessary

for me to be here.

I feel like I'm doing as much
as I possibly can

to do an excellent job,

and no matter what,
I get the stuff done.

So what do I say
to other employees?

I mean, they get
here at 9:10.

I read them
the Riot Act.

Craig gets
here at 3:30,

and it's like, "Oh, hey, Craig,
what's going on?"

I mean,
that sounds ridiculous.

Come in to work
at 9:00.

There's nothing wrong
with that.

(Craig)
I hate roles
that don't make any sense,

but I guess it is kind
of a faux pas

to tell your boss
that you don't feel like

coming into work
this morning

'cause you did all of your work
the night before.

But it's true.

I do my best work
in the middle of the night,

and I'm just gonna sit
at my desk

from 9:00 to 12:00
in the morning

and not get anything done.

Your education
really starts now.

It's on-the-job training.

That's why being
here's important.

I'm sure sometimes it appears
that I'm taking for granted

this incredible opportunity,

and, you know, I don't want it
to be like that.

It's not law school,
you know?

Eventually you got to say,
"Hey, I'm an adult now."

I don't--I don't want
to grow up.

I don't know.

Me--
I don't know.

Maybe there's a judge
that'll start

holding court at night.

[laughs]

All right,
get back to work.

- All right.
- Thanks.

Thanks.
I'll do my best.

Switch out my ways.

- You're a big boy.
- Good job.

- It's right here.
- Kristen.

Are you on kid duty?

Good job.

Good job.

Have you heard
from them?

Yeah, they're just running
a few minutes behind.

That's all right.

Come in!

I'm here.

What's up?

All right.

T Rav.

[speaking French]

How do I get in here?

You'll get used
to these.

When I learned
that Thomas and Kathryn

were having a baby,
I was a little surprised,

even though I know
Thomas wanted kids,

but I think
it was a whole lot more

than he bargained for.

Great.

Ah, now I got to convalesce
after that.

Whew.

[groans]

I've always wanted
to be a father.

Of course,
I had some reservations

because Kathryn
is so much younger than me.

- This can't last.
- Why?

- 'Cause I'm an old man.
- It doesn't matter.

I told you
that it never mattered.

Where's Kathryn?

I was gonna ask you
the same thing.

Kathryn and I are
in a monogamous relationship.

We're working on moving
towards marriage.

We have a child.
I want to be married.

But quite frankly,
I'm not there.

It's not only
the age difference--

the 29-year age gap.

She can be insecure, jealous,
and even a little paranoid.

It's very dangerous
to be married

unless you know
it's gonna work.

Here comes Kathryn.

- Come on in.
- Hey.

You want to help me?

How's my little
squeak doing?

Yes, how my
little baby doing?

I've developed shopping centers
all over the Southeast.

I've done a lot of things
creatively,

but this is probably
the greatest creation

in my life.

It was--
Words escape me.

Even though I'm in politics,
words escape me.

(Kathryn )
She's like,
"What are you doing?

Another car ride?"
Yeah.

- Hello.
- She's ready to live in town.

(Kathryn)
Thomas sold his house
on Church Street downtown

while I was pregnant.

Very stressful to me,

because that's where I'm
thinking we're going, you know?

And now I'm living
in the boondocks,

like, an hour and a half away
from everything that is,

you know, like,
normal life for me,

and it's hard.

Yeah.

Dinner's served,
finally.

Yay!
Let's eat.

(Kathryn)
Kensie's like,
"Me too."

Are you bringing the kids
to the christening?

(JD)
Of course.

(Thomas)
We have a christening
coming up,

and JD and Elizabeth--
we've chosen them

to be the godparents.

It's important to me
to have my daughter christened

because my faith has sustained
me through hard times,

and I want to impart that
to my daughter.

Nice little burp.

They just want to be
at the table, you know?

(Kathryn)
Elizabeth wasn't
the first godmother.

I had originally asked
someone else,

but the night
of the christening,

she was really inappropriate
with Thomas, in my opinion,

and I'm sorry,
but that's the end of that.

No mas.
No thank you.

Buh-bye.

All right, yeah.

She was rubbing my leg.

She was trying
to get my attention.

Just sort of--
was trying to distract me,

"Listen, we have to go."

Kathryn saw that,
I think, through a window

and misconstrued that.

(Cameran)
Coming up...

I YouTube'd a vaginal birth
the other day.

Why?

'Cause I wanted to see
what it was like.

Oh, my god.

I dry-heaved.

That gave me chills.

[horn honks]

Hello, cutie.

Hey, carrot face.

You smell like
cologne.

Can you believe
that we are going

to the second christening
of the royal baby?

I don't think you can
fire a godparent.

That's not a real thing.

Well, you got to meet
the first godmother.

She seemed really nice
and conservative.

Was she hot?

I mean, she wasn't
a mud duck.

She--I mean,
she was--

(Cameran)
Believe it or not, woman still--
they throw themselves at Thomas.

He has a very well-known
last name in Charleston.

He has a lot of power.
He has a lot of wealth.

I think any young girl

that is in a relationship
with Thomas

is going to be jealous.

So you don't think
that they're gonna get married.

I don't ever
write anything off

in their relationship,

but Kensie's cute
as hell,

so I don't mind
going to see her.

She really might be
the cutest baby I've ever seen.

It doesn't make any sense,

but that's
the prettiest baby ever.

No, you don't
have good genes,

and you're aging
terribly.

Craig--
Oh, god.

You have ten more years
being hot,

and then you can get
some Whitney work done,

and it'll be fine.

- Thomas.
- Hey, Philip.

- Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

Thanks so much
for coming.

Hey, little momma.

Thank goodness.
Baby.

While I'm doing this,

do you want to read that card
I got you?

- Is this for real?
- That's for Kensie.

[gasps]

So this is handmade.

"Dear Kensington,

"Before you were born,
I prayed for you.

"With great joy, I've been
chosen as your godmother.

"May blessings come from heaven
and fill your life

with peace
and love, love, love."

Aww,
that's so sweet.

- We love you, Kensie.
- Thank you, Elizabeth.

That's so adorable.

Okay, Phil.
All right.

Thanks for
coming out again.

Pastor Bryant
has been my confidant

with my ups and downs,
not just with Kathryn,

but throughout
my entire adult life.

I've been seeing
this girl.

I mean, she's not even 22.
She'll be 22 in August.

She said she's
in love with me.

I don't know.
I feel a little anxiety.

Just remember,
when in doubt, don't.

(Thomas)
With my relationship
with Kathryn,

I think Pastor Bryant
is still concerned,

but there's no judgment.

He did the first christening,

and when I asked him
to do it the second time,

he did not hesitate.

Mm-hmm.

[laughs]

Yeah.

It is special.

[knock at door]

- Hey, Michael,
how are you?

Here to see
Miss Patricia.

Most certainly.

All right,
thank you, sir.

(Patricia)
Hello?

Announcing Mr. Ray
in the living room, madam.

- Hey, lady.
- Hey, darling.

How are you?

[laughs]

- Too hot to kiss.
- It's too hot for anything.

(Patricia)
Cooper Ray
lives down the street from us,

and he's one of these people
who is very tuned in

to all the nuances
of Southern society.

If I need an escort,
I'll call him up.

He's good company.

Oh, this thing
weighs a ton.

- Want me to carry it?
- Would you?

Look, I've got
all my gear in there.

They do a men's one.

They do a man's birkin?

Doesn't this look
like a GQ ad?

[laughs]

Not really.

[both laugh]

Well, we're going
into the swamp,

so we might meet
some snakes and gators.

And that's just
the guest list.

[both laugh]

[both sigh]

Thank you
so much, Michael.

We don't have roadies.

We're not taking
the Prius today.

We're taking
the Bentley.

- Oh, so we--
- Cristal for the men.

Cristal for the valet.
Car-tinis.

Thank you.

- And we're off.
- Let's do this.

- I'm kind of nervous.
- You should be.

This is your big debut,
along with the baby's.

(Shep)
Landon is an old friend of mine.

We were really good friends

in our early 20s
living in Charleston.

We never dated,
but I think every guy

kind of had a crush
on Landon.

Those are my first
riding boots.

These don't fit you now,
do they?

No, but you can't get rid
of your first riding boots.

Then she went and got married
and lived in LA.

Recently, she got a divorce
and moved back.

There's just no way
this fits you.

That is my first
lacrosse jumper.

There's a lot
of firsts in there.

- I don't like this.
- I know this is the first bin.

- Stop.
- Let's open up another one.

[laughter]

How come you two
never hooked up?

I was dating a girl that
I was, like, madly in love with.

Pretty sure you were
in love with

your ex-boyfriend.

(Landon)
And then I left

when I was
in California.

The one that got away.

I'm back, baby.

(Shep)
So apparently
the first godmother

was found to be flirting
with Thomas by Kathryn.

Just too much batting
of the eyelashes?

Apparently it was
at the after party

of the christening.

I'm sad that I missed
the first one.

I was there.
Nothing bad was happening.

I mean, how could it?

Sisters were there,
his parents.

- Yeah.
- So odd.

I mean, Thomas and Kathryn
and Kensington

are definitely not a traditional
Southern family,

I wouldn't say,
by any stretch.

It's a brave new world
down here in the South.

Things are changing
all the time.

But I can see why
Kathryn's a bit paranoid.

I mean, Thomas--
the money, the forces,

the 20-year-olds.

Hey, you know,
Groucho Marx once said,

"You're only as old
as the woman you feel."

[laughs]

Well, he's
a solid 22.

[laughter]

- She can roll over now.
- I noticed.

(Kathryn)
It's scary.

I, like, woke up, and I looked
at the monitor at night,

and she was
on her stomach.

- Look at this, Kathryn.
- I know.

- Isn't that beautiful?
- Gosh.

That's the French
Huguenot cross.

Yeah, are we ready
to, like, do this ceremony?

- I'm sweating.
- Perfect.

- I'll carry this for you.
- Okay.

Baby girl.

Where's Jason at?

Where do you think?
He's working.

Jason's awesome.
It sucks.

'Cause I want to hate him
really bad,

'cause he got
to marry Cameran,

but he's actually, like,
awesome as hell.

Jason has different
priorities than y'all.

That's why you
don't see him out.

Oh!

Oh, when I get pregnant,

I bet I'll gain,
like, 80 pounds.

I only want to bring a child
in the world

when I am aching for it,

and there is no ache in my body
right now for a child.

I YouTube'd a vaginal birth
the other day.

Why?

'Cause I wanted to see
what it was like.

Oh, my god.

I dry-heaved.

That gave me the chills.

[groans]

(Cameran)
Coming up...

It has really changed my life,
having Kensie in it.

These single guys
need to get with the program.

[chuckles]

God, it's hot.

It is definitely
not cool outside.

Where is everybody?

(Cameran)
It's very odd
that there's nobody here.

Maybe people didn't want
to drive out to the boonies

for a second christening.

Do you have just,
like, an ice block?

- Ice block?
- To put on my head.

It literally takes
your breath away.

The humidity index
is probably, like, 110.

I think the people
that did not come

got the memo
that it was going to be outside.

I wish I had received
that memo,

'cause I would've
probably stayed indoors.

Cheers, guys.
To the baby.

- To the baby.
- Getting religious.

Yeah, that's awesome.

Shepard's here.

(Cameran)
Is he opening the door?

Oh, god, he's so full
of [bleep].

He never opens
girl's doors.

(Shep)
Shall we?

Shep, you opened
a girl's door.

I know.
It's a miracle.

- Hi, buddy.
- What's up?

Y'all this is
my friend Landon.

- Hey, Landon.
- Hi.

I met you,
like, one time before.

It's good
to see you again.

Nice to see you again.

When do we get
to see the baby?

The little one?

- How old is she?
- Have you seen her before?

She's like legitimately--
and I'm not just saying this--

She's, like, the most beautiful
baby I've ever seen in my life.

It's stupid.

I mean, not
all babies are cute.

No, no, and it's rough
when they're not cute.

Yeah,
"Oh, it's a baby."

(Shep)
Hey, Miss Danni.

Dana.

Where did
you appear form?

- Hi.
- This is Landon.

- Hi, Landon.
- I'm Landon.

- Danni.
- She's an old friend of mine.

Good to see you,
stranger.

(Craig)
This is my old fling, Danni.

- Oh, yeah?
- We go way back.

(Shep)
How many times
have you been out here

just, like, to see
the baby and hang out?

Three times?

A year ago, this time,
Thomas' plantation

was sort of a bachelor paradise.

(woman)
Whoo!

Don't fall off!

[laughs]

(Thomas)
I don't have
any underwear on, so...

I'm not doing it--

(man)
Two, three.

[woman screeches]

Ready?
One, two, three.

[women scream]

Now it's like a morgue.

[laughs]

It's just very staid
and kind of quiet,

and it just seems like
something bad happened there.

It's, like, haunted.

(Thomas)
All right,
is she gonna need this?

Or is it too hot for this?

(Elizabeth)
I'd see if she likes it.

You like
that hat, huh?

No, no.

I was grandpa and grandma were
here to see you all dressed up.

My parents--they were
at the first christening,

but they're octogenarians,

so I didn't want them
to come today

because it's horribly hot
and humid.

Are Whitney
and Patricia here?

I don't know.

We can't wait
any longer.

Let's get it started.

This has
to happen.

(Thomas)
Yeah.

(man)
Yes.

(Cameran)
There's the preacher.

[bell rings]

Here we go.
Let's go.

(Shep)
Hold on, Cameran.
Slow the hell down.

This seems pretty informal.

I guess it is
a second christening.

(Landon)
Well, where should we go?

(Shep)
I don't know.

I think there's ample seating,
from what I can tell.

I'm not surprised that
there's a bunch of empty chairs.

People are probably thinking
it's pretty dubious

that there's
a second christening,

and you know what,
they're right.

Wonder what the third
christening's gonna be like.

(Craig)
Yeah, it's like her
first wedding or something.

(Cameran)
Maybe Kathryn is trying
to give a subliminal message

to Thomas
by having an aisle,

saying, "[bleep], the next time
we set this up,

I better be
walking down it."

Look good.

(Shep)
So what's the over-under on
this being the last christening?

(Cameran)
I want to know if the baby
gets, like, double points

going into heaven?

(Craig)
Do you have to remove
the God print

during the ceremony
or do you just add one?

I think that this is, like,
uncharted territory for all.

I think you pour,
like, sand on her head

the second time
to undo it.

All right.

(Kathryn)
That's supposed to go
around the waist.

This is declaring
my daughter

and her commitment
to the Lord

in front of close friends
and family,

and the first christening
was ruined

by the events
that followed

with her, you know,
then-godmother.

I want the old
godmother to be here

so we can, like,
admonish her.

- Shame.
- Yeah.

- Maybe, like, tar and feather.
- Whore!

(Craig)
Really, Cameran?
Really?

We're in church.

At the core of me,
I still don't care

what people think...

You ready for this?

But I'm just feeling, like,
super uncomfortable.

How do I look?
How am I acting as a mom?

I feel like all eyes
are on us,

and it's just
making me nervous.

[sighs]

(Philip)
Thomas, would you like
to say a few words

before we begin this?

(Thomas)
Yes, I would.

I want to say hello
to everybody.

Thank you
for being here

on this very hot
August day,

and I want to introduce you
to Kensington Calhoun Ravenel,

and for you single guys,

I think you need
to get with the program.

[chuckles]

What does that
even mean?

(Thomas)
'Cause she's been
a true blessing.

It has really changed my life
having Kensie in it.

Been totally transformative.

My lifestyle has--
just take my word for it--

it's changed.

[laughs]

(Shep)
I definitely don't think
Thomas hates his life every day.

Maybe just, you know,
every weekday.

[laughs]

I kind of give myself
a high five

for dodging the bullet
of having a child

and a mother
who's 22.

JD, you and your wife
come here today

as godparents
to this child.

Yes, sir.

(Philip)
Thomas, you mentioned
by Kathryn's name and your name,

two of the oldest names
in the state of South Carolina--

would you, at this time,
come and name this child?

Kensington Calhoun Ravenel.

I baptize thee
in the name of the Father

and of the Son
and of the Holy Spirit.

Aww.

- Do we clap?
- I don't think you clap.

(JD)
Cameran.

John David.

How is married life?

I don't feel
any different.

- All the same?
- All the same.

Think it'll only be different
if I have a baby.

[laughs]

Do you have something
to tell me?

No, no, no.

(Craig)
I'm giving her six months.

Six months?

Until she, like, smiles
and lunges, like,

"I'm pregnant."

Yeah, that's happening.

I still take
birth control.

(Elizabeth)
Here's to birth control.

- Madam.
- Thank you.

(Cooper)
Oh, my god,
it's too hot, right?

Thank you.

(Patricia)
It's muggy, buggy.

Somebody will pass out
from the heat.

(JD)
Patricia, huh?

Hey, everybody.

- Hey.
- Great to see you.

- Thank you.
- How are you?

(JD)
Good to see you.
How are you doing?

- Hey, darling.
- How are you?

Hey, thanks for coming.

My pleasure.

- You look stunning.
- Thank you, darling.

That's a beautiful dress.

(Kathryn)
Patricia is very intimidating

in her aura
that she gives off

when she's around people.

It's good to see you.
Thank you for making it.

You are just beautiful.

(Patricia)
Thank you.

She's just kind of...

Oh, my god,
it's so hot.

Thank you.
Oh, thank you, thank you.

I have no idea who would have
any event outside in August,

and I think that the decor
leaves something to be desired.

Kathryn, she definitely has
a lot to learn.

Whitney.

Look what the cat
dragged in.

Look this character.

- Hey.
- How are you?

All right.
Glad you made it.

(Whitney)
Nice.
Well, good.

(Cameran)
I don't think that Thomas
is necessarily offended

that Whitney's late,

but I think Kathryn kind of has
this long-term vendetta

against Whitney.

I met with Whitney
and his mother.

You know they're trying
to influence me,

critiquing your hair,
your age.

Whitney has been trying
to sabotage our relationship

this entire time.

(Whitney)
Did I hook up with Kathryn
in a moment of weakness?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

(Whitney)
Again, I'm so sorry
I'm late.

(Thomas)
No, no problem.
Thanks for making it.

- How'd it go?
- Good.

It was so hot.
I was sweating bullets.

(Whitney)
I feel like Kathryn
took advantage of Thomas.

She's just kind of this evil
kind of white-trash--

She's like a hillbilly
femme fatale.

(Cameran)
Coming up...

Are you ready
to have another one?

I think if I were
to have another baby,

like, I need a ring
on my finger.

Sorry.

(Patricia)
It's, like, 200 degrees
out there.

I think a martini
is definitely in order.

You've got all
the ingredients?

Indeed.

One cannot drink cheap wine
in the heat.

I love the idea
of being prepared,

so Michael knows to bring
my martini fixings with him.

This is the proper way
to do a martini.

You see, you have to do it
in that bag,

The Lewis Ice Bag,
and if you don't,

it's not done properly.

You have to have
the right mallet.

He has it down
to a science.

He has
the magic martini touch.

Cheers, mates.

Mmm.
Fantastic.

(Shep)
Well, cheers, man.
Thanks for having me out.

Oh, yeah.

We got to go
have a good time

in Charleston
one night.

When you gonna
come back into town?

Are you moving back?

You know,
Danni was actually saying

that we need to get a place
in town

just 'cause Kathryn's lonely
out here.

So, anyway,
who'd you come here with?

- Landon.
- Okay.

Landon and I have
known each other for 15 years.

- Really?
- Yeah, she's cool.

Y'all here as dates?

No, no.

I like 'em, you know,
a little younger, like you.

[laughs]

I hear you.

Ooh, I can't have that, no,
but it looks great.

I really want it,
but I shouldn't.

I'm still adjusting
to my post-baby body.

It makes me feel uncomfortable
because Cameran and Danni

are obviously, like,
very, very tiny,

and I kind of...

got big.

Big, big.

- That's another thing--
- You look really good.

I think, where you are now,
you look really good.

Thank you very much.

Are you ready
to have another one?

Not yet.

I think if I were
to have another baby,

like, I need a ring
on my finger.

Sorry.
I'm just being honest.

There's got to be
a ring first.

Like, hey, you got
a really hot girlfriend

and a beautiful baby,
and we love you,

and we're not
gonna cheat on you,

and we're not gonna
use you for your money,

so, like, maybe...

It's just the way things
kind of work out,

like, I've realized in life.

It's not--you can plan and plan
and say you want this and that,

but it's just kind
of whatever comes your way,

you got to take it
and deal with it.

(Cameran)
I think Kathryn had this kind
of grandiose idea

that she would get pregnant

and Thomas would immediately

put an engagement ring
on her finger,

and it kind
of has not gone the way

I think she envisioned.

I think the realness
of what has happened

has finally hit her,
you know,

and it's not all that it's
necessarily cracked out to be.

(Cameran)
This season on Southern Charm...

One, two, three.

(men)
Whoo!

(Shep)
Yeah, I'm pretty good.

[shouting]

Yes, that just happened.

You're like at the next
United States Senator.

(woman)
Here, here.

Everybody has got a spouse,
and you don't.

I'm looking.
I have a date tonight.

Partners communicate
and don't fly off the handle.

You've been traipsing
around Europe all summer.

You left me
doing all the work.

(Craig)
How bad is it to say that girls
are my favorite hobby?

I will slap you.
You know what?

(man)
Mrs. Cameran Wimberly.

You want to make out
in the bathroom?

All night long.

[laughs]

I'm Thomas Ravenel,
and I approve this message.

I'm at home taking care
of your child,

and you're filming a commercial
dancing with girls?

You have a reputation
in Charleston, Shep.

I do think Jason's
daddy clock is ticking.

[bleep], I'm gonna have
to have a baby.

Nothing is more important
than this bar exam.

I don't have to sacrifice
my social life or work.

I need to know that you, like,
respect my decision.

(Shep)
Thomas, how do y'all
know each other?

Spent a lot of time
in my bed.

Well, how can I [bleep]
help you now?

It's not by telling
my parents,

'cause now
they're worried sick.

(woman)
Apparently Kathryn and Craig
spend the night on the beach.

Did you--
[clicks tongue]

I mean, she's a scandal,
a shameless strumpet.

This is my campaign.

I'm gonna run it
the way I want.

You're always gonna lose.

I lost 150 grand
doing it your way.

You're an opportunist.

You nasty [bleep].

(Landon)
I just couldn't grin
and bear it anymore.

This is as good
as it gets?

Future Senator.
Tom, come on out.

Humiliating.
Laughingstock.

It's starting
to spiral out of control.

He doesn't sleep.
He doesn't eat very much.

(Cameran)
I mean, you lose your job.
You lose your house.

What is the bottom?
Like, what is the bottom?

- Thomas, stop it.
- I'm going.

(Kathryn)
Thomas, stop!
I'm not letting you leave me.

Oh, my god.
Thomas, stop!

(Cameran)
For more Southern Charm,
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