Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:06,920
5x06_Camping
2
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:09,759
Sir, there's no room for our bags.
3
00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:11,399
Someone has filled it up.
4
00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:13,199
Don't look at me,
should have got here earlier.
5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:14,879
That's the last of the
big bags, sir.
6
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:17,920
Do you want this hand luggage
on board with you? Obvs!
7
00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:23,239
Why are you looking like a trapper?
8
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:25,159
Look, we're stepping off ends,
innit?
9
00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:27,119
Man can't get caught slipping,
you feel me?
10
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:30,519
The only thing you'll get caught
slipping on is cow shit, bruv.
11
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:32,839
We're going to Pembrokeshire.
12
00:00:32,840 --> 00:00:34,999
But, wait...
..where's Harrison?
13
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,199
Yeah, where's the brother at?
Where's he at?
14
00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,199
I'm here.
Guys, I'm just wearing camo.
15
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,120
- Look, I'm here!
- CHUCKLES
16
00:00:42,123 --> 00:00:43,399
Guys!
17
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,959
Oh, God, I'm invisible.
18
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:50,039
Oh, babe,
the dress code was practical.
19
00:00:50,040 --> 00:00:51,959
I'm practically perfect, Jinx.
20
00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:56,039
But you best believe I am flossing
out of this school uniform.
21
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:58,879
Oi, oi!
Get one of these down your neck.
22
00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,679
We should not be encouraging
underage drinking.
23
00:01:01,680 --> 00:01:05,439
Good point. Part of the fun
is stealing the booze.
24
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:09,040
Oh, what's this?
I've left me beers unattended.
25
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,920
I'm not looking,
better not nick nothing!
26
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,359
For God's sake, if you want this
adventure weekend to be
27
00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,399
the bollocks,
then you stick with me.
28
00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:20,239
Ignore this wet wipe with
the stuffed cat.
29
00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:22,039
Excuse me, it's not a stuffed cat!
30
00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,519
It's Magical Mr Mistoffelees,
from Cats!
31
00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:27,679
Sir is very protective
of Andrew Lloyd Webber. Who?
32
00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,719
The godfather of musical theatre -
Cats, Phantom of the Opera,
33
00:01:30,720 --> 00:01:32,079
Jesus Christ Superstar.
34
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,879
And, according to the Mega Star
Quest celeb tracking app,
35
00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,839
Andrew Lloyd Webber lives right next
to the campsite.
36
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:40,079
Here is a map to the compound.
37
00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:42,439
When we land, I'm going to pop over
and introduce him
38
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:45,879
to the star of his next musical
blockbuster - moi.
39
00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,999
This is not some Search For The
Stars, or a poxy fashion show.
40
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,919
We know. It's a chance for inner
city kids, like me,
41
00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,679
to learn new skills, develop team
building, and survive in the wild.
42
00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:55,919
Eh-eh!
43
00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,079
This is your opportunity to dive
headfirst into the three B's -
44
00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:01,559
booze, banter, and birds.
45
00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:04,039
Obviously, I'm only
here for the first two B's.
46
00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:07,600
Oi, oi, oi! That's my lager,
you little prick!
47
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,199
Class F. F for fick!
48
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,919
Good luck, you lot, trying to get
a date to the disco with them
49
00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:16,959
lot on the trip. The what?
The last night disco.
50
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,039
Basically, the Met Gala,
but for scrubby little kids.
51
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,119
Obviously, I didn't go.
Oh, because you were gay?
52
00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:23,399
Because they were all clapped. Ahh.
53
00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,879
Did you get a date, sir?
54
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,800
Me? To the...
55
00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,199
Yeah, obviously.
56
00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,119
Mate, I was the man back in the day.
I couldn't move for treacles.
57
00:02:33,120 --> 00:02:37,679
Listen, I will teach you every trick
in the book, starting with Class F.
58
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:39,879
We need to show them
that we are the alphas,
59
00:02:39,880 --> 00:02:42,439
so we need to sit
at the back of the bus.
60
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,039
I'm not sure Rosa Parks would agree.
61
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,399
Well, Rosa Parks didn't want to do
wanker signs at lorry drivers,
62
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,439
did she? Come on you lot, let's go.
63
00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:50,080
Warren!
64
00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:52,600
Yeah.
65
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,120
One coach trip and I've already been
asked to the disco by eight guys.
66
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:32,679
I said no, obviously.
67
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,559
Because of your faith.
Yes, Jinx, my faith.
68
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:39,959
My faith and the sheer audacity
of them thinking they can ask me.
69
00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:43,479
Well, I don't actually want to get
asked. I find these antiquated
70
00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:45,799
heteronormative dating rituals to
be quite...
71
00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:47,719
Agh!
72
00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,639
I don't think you've got to worry,
my love.
73
00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:51,959
In that skirt, if you
look like a nun, you'll get none.
74
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:53,999
Sir, I... I need some advice.
75
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,039
The school disco's tomorrow night
76
00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,400
and I wanted to ask a girl
to dance with me.
77
00:03:59,920 --> 00:04:01,759
Oh, a...
78
00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,520
Sorry, just a little bit...
79
00:04:04,680 --> 00:04:06,239
Just a little bit shocked.
80
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,639
Um, I assumed you were
part of the LGTBQIA+ community.
81
00:04:09,640 --> 00:04:13,679
Listen, I don't want to say
I understand your lifestyle,
82
00:04:13,680 --> 00:04:15,760
but I want you to know
I support you.
83
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:20,039
Well, thank you,
but this was a bad idea.
84
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,879
I mean,
Usma's never going to go for me.
85
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,039
Usma and you? Yeah, exactly.
86
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:25,719
Oh sorry,
I didn't mean it like that.
87
00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:28,439
It's just, you know, obviously,
you're fab, it's just... Assemble!
88
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,599
What in the B.Tech Bear Grylls
is bumba gwaning?
89
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,439
Bet you've never such
a decorated Beaver!
90
00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,559
Well, my missus
does like a vajazzle.
91
00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,119
Why is there a gap?
92
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,159
Oh, well, most Beavers have a
hole or three.
93
00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,879
Erm, I'm only missing one badge.
94
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:43,199
Is that the friendship badge?
95
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,519
No, erm, I'm just missing a
hunting badge.
96
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:49,599
Apparently, wrestling the eggs
off a mother owl isn't good enough,
97
00:04:49,600 --> 00:04:53,199
according to my power-mad
scout master. RIP.
98
00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:55,239
I don't know how to
say this politely,
99
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,279
but what are you doing here?
Saving Abbey Grove.
100
00:04:58,280 --> 00:05:01,519
Applications are down 200%.
101
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,519
Most of our students end up
unemployed, in prison,
102
00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,079
or in the Army.
103
00:05:06,080 --> 00:05:09,599
But now, the Army are questioning
the quality of our cannon fodder,
104
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:13,399
and if they stop hiring,
Abbey Grove is finished!
105
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:17,639
So, I am here to teach this rabble
some serious survival skills.
106
00:05:17,640 --> 00:05:19,879
HYAH!
107
00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:21,759
Ah, Mr Fraser! All set?
108
00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,679
Holes dug, wells sunk,
109
00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,679
traps - bear,
booby and otherwise - set.
110
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:30,919
I have thoroughly
Home Aloned these woods.
111
00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:31,999
Translation?
112
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,319
Survival!
113
00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:36,199
We only eat what I forage or kill.
114
00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:39,959
Shrew? There is only one shrew, but
we could Lady And The Tramp it.
115
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,199
No, thank you.
116
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,759
If memory serves, I think
camp food is provided.
117
00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,639
Ah, no, not the package I went for.
118
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:49,039
We've got no kitchen
and no toilet facilities.
119
00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:51,839
What? I'll make Beavers out
of you yet.
120
00:05:51,840 --> 00:05:53,759
Now...
121
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:55,319
..who's digging the latrines?
122
00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:56,640
Ooh.
123
00:05:58,680 --> 00:06:01,039
Any hole's a goal!
124
00:06:01,040 --> 00:06:02,959
Hey-hey!
125
00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,840
MUSIC: As It Was
by Harry Styles
126
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,679
♪ Holding me back
127
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,039
♪ Gravity's holding me back... ♪
128
00:06:12,040 --> 00:06:13,999
SNIFFING
129
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,079
What's that smell?
130
00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,079
Oh, I think it's nature.
131
00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:20,919
But what do I know? I'm just your
classic inner city ruffian.
132
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,959
This is some horror
movie setting, man,
133
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:25,839
and ethnic minorities do not
do well in these situations.
134
00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,279
Oggy, oggy, oggy!
135
00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:29,279
Oi, oi, oi!
136
00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:31,759
My name's David and I run this show.
137
00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:34,799
Now, I should warn you,
I can be a bit of a joker!
138
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,079
Unless we're talking respecting
the Countryside Code.
139
00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,919
I didn't know
we could talk like that.
140
00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:41,359
We're all here to have a laugh,
141
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,239
but not at the expense of the
flora and fauna.
142
00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,639
Unless you get the opportunity to
catch and kill,
143
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,119
in which case, seize it!
144
00:06:48,120 --> 00:06:50,879
Well, no, that's actually a direct
contravention of the rules.
145
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:53,759
All right, well, kill or be killed.
Again, no.
146
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,279
One shot, one kill?
I'm ignoring you now.
147
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:58,839
So, first thing today is
the tug-of-war,
148
00:06:58,840 --> 00:07:01,479
orienteering tomorrow,
then the disco.
149
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:03,919
But your first task
is setting up camp.
150
00:07:03,920 --> 00:07:06,359
Now, I have a T-shirt to
distribute to each of you.
151
00:07:06,360 --> 00:07:08,640
There you go! David?
You're an adult, mate.
152
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,999
♪ We had our first date
three weeks ago on Monday
153
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,759
♪ He took me out for dinner,
then he asked me back to his place
154
00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,759
♪ Mate, he was like 6'8",
with huge arms and a fit face
155
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,119
♪ Then he opened up his mouth
and I was like, "What?! No way!"
156
00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,199
♪ What you so boring for?
It's like talking to a door
157
00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:27,799
♪ Swear I cannot be arsed
to do this... ♪
158
00:07:27,800 --> 00:07:29,599
Oi, what is that?
159
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,839
That is my Technicolor Dreamcoat.
160
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:33,359
I've never played Joseph, actually.
161
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,799
But, hopefully, once I meet Andrew
Lloyd Webber, things will change.
162
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:39,239
Oi, sir, this tent is sick.
163
00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,959
Glamping, my G! Flossing, in fact.
164
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,399
We are flamping!
165
00:07:43,400 --> 00:07:45,399
We?
166
00:07:45,400 --> 00:07:48,799
Uh-uh, this is all for me.
167
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,799
But we've been putting this
up for hours.
168
00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,039
This whole trip is
about teamwork, yeah?
169
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,079
And I got you working.
You're welcome.
170
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:56,839
So, where are we going to sleep?
171
00:07:56,840 --> 00:07:58,679
Back to your bed, bitch.
172
00:07:58,680 --> 00:07:59,999
First rule of camp.
173
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,159
Ha-ha, we've got nowhere to sleep.
Banter! Way-hey!
174
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:07,159
I'm off to meet Lord Lloyd Webber.
175
00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,199
Erm, about this, I think it needs a
few finishing touches, my love.
176
00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:13,799
Thank you.
Oh, and on the Usma disco situation,
177
00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,920
we'll catch up about that later.
Ta-ta!
178
00:08:20,440 --> 00:08:22,319
Excuse me, my love.
179
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:24,759
Stranger danger!
180
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,720
I'm so sorry,
I left my map in my tent.
181
00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,119
Luke?
182
00:08:31,120 --> 00:08:33,759
Lucas.
I changed it by deed poll.
183
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:36,159
Two syllables!
184
00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:38,959
And your name is? Steve?
185
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:43,399
Stephen, with a puh-huh-leeze!
186
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:45,599
Like you would forget my name!
187
00:08:45,600 --> 00:08:47,679
You copied everything
I did at drama school.
188
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:49,279
Those days are over.
189
00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:51,599
That cape is over.
190
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,839
It's for the centenary
of the century.
191
00:08:53,840 --> 00:08:57,199
She shells sheashells on the
shea... What?
192
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:02,239
Lord Lloyd Webber's 100th
birthday weekend. Huh?
193
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,599
Not invited?
194
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,959
Of course I'm invited.
195
00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:09,479
So, where's your costume?
196
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:13,399
We're dressing in his most iconic
looks all weekend, in his honour.
197
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,039
Oh, I know!
198
00:09:15,040 --> 00:09:18,199
I didn't want to get my roller
blades dirty in this forest,
199
00:09:18,200 --> 00:09:21,759
you know what I mean? Don't you
think that Starlight Express is,
200
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:23,119
like, totally underrated anyway?
201
00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:24,959
Well, after you!
202
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:28,239
Surely you can find your way there
without your little map?
203
00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:29,360
Of course!
204
00:09:32,440 --> 00:09:34,879
Teasing! This way!
205
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:39,039
I was actually at Uncle Andrew's
last week with, you know,
206
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,719
the Charlotte Sisters
and Auntie Bonnie...
207
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:41,919
Argh!
208
00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:43,280
Ah!
209
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:46,519
Oh, my God.
210
00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:49,239
Lucas! Help! Help! Help me out!
211
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,439
And why would I do that?
212
00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,039
Because we're friends.
Friends?
213
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:57,239
At the end-of-year show,
I fell off the stage,
214
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,959
and you didn't help me.
215
00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:01,639
Don't laugh!
I'm not laughing!
216
00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:04,759
I'm sorry you're going to miss
the big weekend.
217
00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:07,639
I'll make sure to post
lots of photos on the Gram.
218
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:10,519
LUCAS LAUGHS
219
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,520
Lucas!
220
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,439
You bitch!
221
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,680
Ah, Lucas!
222
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,239
HE SOBS
223
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:22,479
Lucas!
224
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:25,279
Warren, you look
like death warmed up.
225
00:10:25,280 --> 00:10:29,239
Stay hydrated. Have some water from
the well I dug.
226
00:10:29,240 --> 00:10:31,080
Oh, maybe later.
227
00:10:33,680 --> 00:10:36,279
I would not serve that to
my own worst enemy -
228
00:10:36,280 --> 00:10:37,759
Gregg Wallace.
229
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:41,079
At least I won't have to go back to
the well and get more.
230
00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:43,519
Remind me again why we're not
cutting through the whole rope.
231
00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:45,839
We're going to let those Class F
tosspots think they're winning
232
00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,079
when, actually,
they're hanging on by a thread.
233
00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:49,799
The rope will break,
they'll fall on their arse
234
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,119
and look like a bunch of lemons.
235
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,479
Legend.
236
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,079
WHISTLE
237
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:57,999
Come on then, guys.
Tug-of-war time!
238
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,839
Let's get you into teams!
239
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:03,919
Come on.
Let's give it to 'em! Come on!
240
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,599
Gladiators, ready!
241
00:11:06,600 --> 00:11:08,200
I'm joking.
242
00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,839
Ready, set...
243
00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:13,200
WHISTLE BLOWS
244
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,040
Come on, we got this.
245
00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,999
CHANTING: Pull! Pull! Pull!
246
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,079
I'm going to break a nail, sir!
247
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:24,560
Hey, these man are wasteman anyway!
You're weak!
248
00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,039
I'm tugging really hard!
249
00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:31,240
Oh, I'm tugging so hard.
250
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:37,239
Hey!
251
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,319
GROANING
252
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,120
Oh, my bottom.
253
00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:43,719
What are you lot doing down there?
254
00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:47,119
Who's going to go to the disco with
me, covered in this?
255
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,639
Loads of people.
256
00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:51,159
No-one fit, though, innit!
257
00:11:51,160 --> 00:11:54,879
An incision in the rope,
made with a serrated blade,
258
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:56,799
probably a Swiss Army knife.
259
00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,319
Who done that?
260
00:11:58,320 --> 00:12:01,679
If you lot were in the Army, you'd
be court-martialled for cheating.
261
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,679
Report to the mess in five!
262
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,799
Brilliant.
263
00:12:06,800 --> 00:12:08,319
OWLS HOOT
264
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:09,679
Court-martialled!
265
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:12,639
I've become the kind of person
my grandfather had shot in the war.
266
00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:14,439
Yeah, well, you weren't meant
to fall too!
267
00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,359
Well, take it up with
the basic laws of physics.
268
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:21,239
Yeah? Wait until you see Class F
fishing their clothes out the lake.
269
00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:22,439
Come on, Harrison.
270
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,319
Wait, where's Mr Carmichael?
271
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:26,719
I'm in hell!
272
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,679
First Mitchell mocking my Dreamcoat
273
00:12:28,680 --> 00:12:32,120
and then Lucas throwing me
in this pit to die!
274
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,880
Oh, my God.
275
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,720
Oh, my God.
276
00:12:42,400 --> 00:12:44,240
I'm... I'm Joseph.
277
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,359
I'm Joseph and I don't even
have my Dreamcoat!
278
00:12:49,360 --> 00:12:51,759
Help!
279
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,600
MITCHELL LAUGHS
280
00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:58,239
Dickheads! Who do Class F think
they are?
281
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:00,199
No-one pisses in my bed but me, fam.
282
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,919
Oh, come on, it's just banter.
283
00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,919
It's revenge for throwing
their clothes in the lake.
284
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,839
Ah, have they pissed in your beds
an' all?
285
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,479
No. Miss Hoburn talks in her sleep.
286
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:10,639
It's horrific.
287
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:12,519
One shot, one kill.
288
00:13:12,520 --> 00:13:14,199
One shot, one kill.
289
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,319
One shot, one kill.
290
00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,200
One shot... Argh!
291
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,439
Where is everybody?
292
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:24,319
We were going to ask Mr Carmichael
if we could stay here.
293
00:13:24,320 --> 00:13:27,440
I assume he stayed at Andrew Lloyd
Webber's, so there's plenty of room.
294
00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:35,159
It's OK,
I'll just stay in the chair.
295
00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,399
I cannot breathe!
What is all this noise?
296
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,799
Miss, this is not
what it looks like.
297
00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,000
What is going on?
Class F mugged us off.
298
00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,239
Moves and countermoves.
The art of war.
299
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:49,479
Oh, impressive.
300
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,319
I didn't know anyone at Abbey Grove
read Sun Tzu.
301
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,519
Not since they stopped Page Three.
302
00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:56,719
You're clearly
a cut above this dross.
303
00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:58,239
Officer material, perhaps.
304
00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,279
But, no, a bit too nervy.
305
00:14:00,280 --> 00:14:05,239
Perhaps a spy? MI5, MI6,
both very reputable employers.
306
00:14:05,240 --> 00:14:08,839
And, as luck would have it, I need
someone to sex-up a dossier for me.
307
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:10,239
Keep talking.
308
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:14,519
Well, if you compile a snazzy
brochure for the Army recruiters,
309
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:17,199
"Abbey Grove Survival Camp,"
310
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,439
I'll let you off the
orienteering course.
311
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,399
Oh, so a camp scrapbook?
312
00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:23,239
But not all ribbony and glittery.
313
00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:26,119
Oh, Miss Hoburn, I won't make
promises I can't keep.
314
00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:28,839
Right. Who's coming back to
the bunkhouse?
315
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,879
Nah, I think I'll stay here,
take my chances.
316
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,479
Namaste.
And I'mma stay, too!
317
00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:39,239
Hm, this feels like a hostile
occupation of foreign territory.
318
00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,439
The Army would approve!
319
00:14:41,440 --> 00:14:43,399
Night-night.
320
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,439
Right! Top and tailing?
321
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,799
Actually, I better sleep
with my arse out the flap.
322
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,599
I've got a massive shit
in the departure lounge.
323
00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:52,040
Hello?!
324
00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,520
Is anybody there, there, there...
325
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,479
No reverb!
326
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,839
No reverb! In a well!
327
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,480
BIRDSONG
328
00:15:07,200 --> 00:15:09,439
KNOCK AT DOOR
329
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,439
Come in. Have yourself a pew there,
next to Doris.
330
00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:13,959
Don't worry, she won't bite.
331
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,079
Not any more.
332
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,440
Not since I murdered her
and stuffed her in that box.
333
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:20,439
What can I do you for?
334
00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:23,839
Well, I'm looking for old
photos of Abbey Grove trips.
335
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,359
Very few exist.
336
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:27,079
As Mr Carmichael's biographer,
337
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:30,759
I usually destroy any old
photos of him in hiking boots.
338
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,799
Old fancy pants in the rainbow tent?
339
00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:35,119
Yeah, I've not seen hide nor
hair of him since he arrived.
340
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:36,839
He went to
Lord Andrew Lloyd Webber's.
341
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,759
Oh, yeah, just over yonder.
342
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:40,439
His 100th birthday this weekend.
343
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,799
The village is buzzing.
The local GP's on hand.
344
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,999
All guests under 30 are being
asked to donate
345
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,759
a pint of their blood at the door.
346
00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:48,640
He's very fond of blood, apparently.
347
00:15:49,840 --> 00:15:51,280
Photos!
348
00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:54,440
Thank you.
349
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,120
Not that one.
350
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,639
Probably best you don't tell anyone
you've seen that one, as well.
351
00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:04,399
Good morning, guys. I just wanted...
352
00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:05,839
WHISTLE
353
00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:10,079
Gather round, please!
Come in, quickly!
354
00:16:10,080 --> 00:16:13,839
Harper, you sabotaged the
tug-of-war, soiled the bunkhouse,
355
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,959
and taught your pupils
zero survival skills.
356
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,399
But, Miss, popularity is the best
type of survival skill.
357
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:23,279
Yeah, well, why did all my clothes
end up in the lake this morning?
358
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:25,079
Take it as a compliment, right?
359
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:27,239
It's because we're
the king of bants, innit? Yeah.
360
00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:28,799
Well, you won't be very popular
361
00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,879
when Class K don't make it
back for the disco.
362
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:32,079
ALL: What?
363
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:34,399
Yes, you heard me, Bant King.
364
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:38,159
The last team
back from orienteering
365
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,959
will not be allowed to
attend the disco tonight.
366
00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:44,319
Maybe missing out on this
famous dance
367
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,599
will teach you to take
survival seriously.
368
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:49,479
Guys, it's important to remember,
369
00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,279
the main thing about orienteering
is having...
370
00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:52,680
SHRILL WHISTLE
371
00:16:52,681 --> 00:16:54,079
Disco or death!
372
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,839
Jeez.
373
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:58,919
Lads, don't worry,
all right? I've got this.
374
00:16:58,920 --> 00:17:02,039
Sir! All this pengness is
going to go to waste.
375
00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,559
No disco, no dates, nothing!
376
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:05,999
I'm going back to the tent.
377
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,680
And this is my last clean tracksuit!
378
00:17:10,080 --> 00:17:12,200
You've ruined my life!
379
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,519
We go left round there.
380
00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:23,799
Sir... Ooh.
381
00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:26,079
..I get that you're
reliving your glory days,
382
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:30,239
but we have learnt approximately
zero survival skills this weekend.
383
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,279
Yeah. If we want to go to the disco,
we have to get creative.
384
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,159
Oh, I couldn't agree more.
385
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:36,879
Now, according to this map,
386
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,839
we can take a shortcut across
Andrew Lloyd Webber's compound.
387
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:41,999
This will mean that we'll finish
the orienteering course
388
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,399
in half the time.
389
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:47,079
I mean, ladies and gentlemen, we
shall be going to the dance tonight.
390
00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,199
HE HUMS A HAPPY TUNE
391
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:50,719
Yeah, look, I kind of
feel like this sort of
392
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,439
might be an incy-wincy
bit my fault.
393
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,999
So, I'm going to make it up to you.
394
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,999
I am putting on my big-boy pants.
395
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,319
Warren, give me the map! What?
396
00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:01,879
Warren, I am your teacher.
Give me the map.
397
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,080
Thank you.
398
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,400
Right. Follow me, pricks!
399
00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:12,839
I think we should be going that way.
400
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:14,920
Oh, yes, there she goes.
401
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:20,079
CHUCKLING: I needed that.
402
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,079
I am sleeping inside the tent
tonight, baby.
403
00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,399
That's ten minutes we'll never
get back.
404
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:27,519
Jinx, we're close, all right?
I can feel it.
405
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,439
Feel it? Where's the map?
406
00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:31,079
Well, my arse wasn't going to
wipe itself.
407
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:34,719
Yeah? We would have been quicker
doing the actual task.
408
00:18:34,720 --> 00:18:36,239
Blessing, trust me.
409
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:37,759
Remember, I've been here before.
410
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,839
I know these woods
like the back of my...
411
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,239
Ooh, Jinx, look at this minging
mole on the back of my hand.
412
00:18:42,240 --> 00:18:43,999
Do you reckon I need
to get it checked out?
413
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,160
JINX RETCHES
414
00:18:45,161 --> 00:18:46,319
We're lost.
415
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:49,039
This is a disaster.
All thanks to Mr Harper!
416
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,799
Well, at least I'm trying to help,
unlike Mr Carmichael.
417
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,479
Well, at least his map was useful.
418
00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,679
Until you turned
it into toilet paper!
419
00:18:55,680 --> 00:18:57,679
I bet all the girls are already
at the disco,
420
00:18:57,680 --> 00:18:59,199
dancing with some next man, fam.
421
00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:01,119
Sir, think about the last
time you were here.
422
00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:02,519
Do you recognise anything?
423
00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:05,639
Right, well, erm...
There was no last time.
424
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:08,639
I had my suspicions,
but this photo confirmed it.
425
00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,199
Look. An old shot of Class K.
426
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:12,919
And who's not in it?
427
00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:14,680
You didn't go?
428
00:19:16,120 --> 00:19:18,319
Well, what about the stories?
429
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,279
And the bants?
430
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,760
You were my hero.
431
00:19:24,400 --> 00:19:26,999
Well, I just feel so...
What's the word?
432
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,639
Stupid.
433
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:30,479
Harrison.
434
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:31,719
Harrison, wait!
435
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,200
Wait a minute!
436
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:38,559
So, we're going to miss the disco?
437
00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:40,799
I mean, who wants to go
to that meat market
438
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,639
with all the Normative Normans?
439
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:44,279
Me, actually.
440
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,479
No, no,
we can still complete the course.
441
00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,240
I have to try and get us
to that disco, for morale.
442
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,920
Really, really strange.
443
00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,039
RUSTLING
444
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:02,319
What was that?
I thought it was you.
445
00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:05,919
It was probably just Mr Fraser.
Shh!
446
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:07,519
Listen.
447
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:09,799
Ooh, I am listening.
448
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:12,279
I'm always open to hearing
about your lived experience.
449
00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,480
BLESSING SCOFFS
450
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,280
Wait.
451
00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,159
Is that...
452
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,159
Is that...
A bear?
453
00:20:25,160 --> 00:20:26,760
THEY WHIMPER
454
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,719
THEY SCREAM
455
00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:31,559
Where have you been?
Get back to camp!
456
00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:33,359
B-b-buh, b-b-buh...
457
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,799
Is she broken?
458
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:38,479
Bear!
Bare broken? Oh, I see, yes.
459
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:39,999
No, I'm up on my urban dictionary!
460
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,239
Bare, as in large amount/level of.
461
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:44,799
No, there's an actual
bear in the forest!
462
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:46,999
It's armed, it's dangerous,
it's going to attack us.
463
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,279
It's going to eat us alive!
You need to relax, Karen!
464
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,159
Hunting badge, here I come!
465
00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:54,160
Yes, always carry a blowpipe.
466
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:58,039
And, don't even
think about going to the disco.
467
00:20:58,040 --> 00:20:59,440
You're not allowed.
468
00:21:02,320 --> 00:21:03,760
Urgh!
469
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:07,359
Oh, Luke?
470
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,559
Watford School of Drama, 2015.
471
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:10,999
Lucas.
472
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,679
I'm Stephen Carmichael's assistant,
and biographer.
473
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:15,479
Biographer?
474
00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:20,079
Oh, I bet there are several chapters
dedicated to our rivalry.
475
00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:23,399
Oh, no, just a footnote
dedicated to haters.
476
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,479
Meow. Purr.
477
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:28,719
Well, water under the bridge.
478
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:32,039
Though I did see Steve yesterday.
"Steve"?
479
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,679
He was in very deep water.
480
00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:37,039
You're using a lot of
water metaphors.
481
00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:42,319
Let's just say, he's finally playing
the role he was born to play.
482
00:21:42,320 --> 00:21:44,839
Joseph! In the well?
483
00:21:44,840 --> 00:21:47,720
Fraser's well!
That's where he's been.
484
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,800
Strange boy.
Mr Carmichael!
485
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:03,320
YAA!
486
00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,839
Mr Fraser, I almost took you
out with my tranq dart.
487
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,479
I admire your confidence, madam.
488
00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:12,399
You may well have blown
the dart in my direction,
489
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,199
but that does not
mean it would have hit me.
490
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,879
Thanks to.... HYARGH!
491
00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:20,199
A heady cocktail of Krav Maga,
Capoeira, Tai Chi and Aikido.
492
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:21,760
I call it...
493
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,999
Krapoerchido!
494
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,119
Well, your Starbucks order aside,
I need your help.
495
00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,599
What have you
got in your wooden house?
496
00:22:31,600 --> 00:22:33,560
We need to set a trap.
497
00:22:37,200 --> 00:22:39,719
And you're sure this can work?
498
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:43,119
Bernadette, I don't mean to
chefsplain,
499
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:47,039
but if you go down to the woods
today, or indeed any day,
500
00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:51,679
you will not be surprised to learn
that bears love a picnic.
501
00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:54,959
Shh! I can hear the bear.
502
00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:56,360
Positions.
503
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,720
ANIMAL CALL: Aa-aah! Aa-aah!
504
00:23:16,200 --> 00:23:18,079
Dammit!
505
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:19,520
Hngeeee...
506
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,999
Yes!
507
00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,040
Let's get you back to camp.
508
00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:38,159
Sir!
509
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:41,479
Warren!
I've been looking for you all day.
510
00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:43,279
I'm so happy to see you.
511
00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:45,839
You didn't say anything weird to
Usma, did you?
512
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:48,359
No, I didn't. OK, good.
513
00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:50,799
Get me out. OK. Erm...
514
00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:53,599
Please tell me you brought a rope!
515
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:56,399
Ah, allow it, man!
516
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,759
It's dead anyway.
517
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:03,279
Guys, listen,
I'm really sorry that I lied to you.
518
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,919
The truth is, all my friends got to
go on this trip and I didn't.
519
00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:09,999
I was desperate to,
but my dad lost the trip money,
520
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,079
spoofing for a round of drinks.
521
00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,839
I guess I was just trying to
recreate something I never had.
522
00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:19,799
Harrison, you need to choose
your heroes more carefully, mate.
523
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,959
You're still my hero, sir.
524
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:23,519
Cheers.
525
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,559
Here, look,
I found this in the clubhouse.
526
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:28,119
I know it's ancient, but I thought
you could use it for your disco.
527
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:29,959
Uh, what is that? What is...?
528
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:33,439
Usma, this is a CD player.
529
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:36,159
Here, look.
I found some old CDs, too.
530
00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:37,319
Bloody hell.
531
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:40,319
What happened to you?
Don't ask.
532
00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,879
But I'm glad we're back,
thanks to Warren.
533
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:46,559
Oh, Warren! You never gave up.
534
00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:48,639
That's why we love you, Warren.
535
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:51,439
Right, come on you lot,
it's disco time.
536
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:52,999
Here, Blessing, pass that CD.
537
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:54,719
Yes, this is a belter!
538
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,160
Thanks, Warren.
539
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,199
Remember, you never give up.
540
00:25:00,200 --> 00:25:02,400
INDISTINCT CHATTER
541
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,200
Erm, Usma, I...
542
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:19,439
Usma, I consider you a dear
friend but, erm, well,
543
00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:23,359
I have to tell you that I think
you're completely luminescent.
544
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:27,399
And not just in your dazzlingly
impractical tracksuit.
545
00:25:27,400 --> 00:25:30,839
I feel delighted when I look at you,
546
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:33,159
and I...
547
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,719
Well, I would be honoured
if you would dance with me.
548
00:25:36,720 --> 00:25:38,119
Finally!
549
00:25:38,120 --> 00:25:42,239
Someone who's coming correct
and putting some respec' on my name.
550
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,759
Great, cool.
551
00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,679
That's totally cool.
552
00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:47,200
Totally cool.
553
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,360
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, no.
554
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,119
Yo, Jinx.
555
00:25:56,120 --> 00:25:59,639
Like, I know dances are
Antiques Roadshow and that,
556
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,679
but would you, you know, like,
maybe want to dance with me?
557
00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:07,799
Well, antiquated heteronormative
rituals but, yes, very much yes.
558
00:26:07,800 --> 00:26:10,559
No, I really would, yes, yes.
Cool.
559
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,559
May I? Come here, pretty boy.
560
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:13,919
You'll do.
561
00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,599
You think I'm pretty?
562
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:18,079
So are you.
563
00:26:18,080 --> 00:26:19,679
Well, that was easy!
564
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:21,959
Wait, what?
Getting a girlfriend.
565
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:25,559
Oh, Harry,
you thought I was into boys?
566
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,679
Wait, you're into girls?
567
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:29,839
Oh, my God, it's so crazy.
568
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:32,399
We've got so much in common.
569
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:36,599
I mean, we never did get to
have our dance at the disco.
570
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,399
I feel like we should fix that.
571
00:26:39,400 --> 00:26:41,520
Let's do it!
572
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,519
Hang on, you knew I never went on
this trip in the first place.
573
00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:49,119
How come you didn't dob me
in to that lot?
574
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:51,599
I mean,
your dad ruined all of your fun,
575
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,760
I was not going to do
the same to you.
576
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,479
Ooh, speaking of fun,
how was Lordy Lord Webby's?
577
00:27:00,480 --> 00:27:02,080
The pits! Chill.
578
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:06,359
I like your buns.
579
00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:08,119
I mean your, your...
580
00:27:08,120 --> 00:27:09,999
On your head.
581
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,359
Oh, flip, man.
582
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,800
Goddamn.
583
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:17,399
Pizza and beer
for my favourite class.
584
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:21,199
Oh, go on, I'm not looking,
better not take any!
585
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,039
What are you doing? Well,
this is my way of saying thank you.
586
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:26,679
I finally have my hunting badge,
587
00:27:26,680 --> 00:27:28,559
thanks to your tip-off
about that bear.
588
00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:30,199
What bear?
589
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,639
Well, the bear I tranqued
and dragged back here.
590
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,480
SCREAMING
591
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,679
What did you do to Lucas?
592
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,799
Stop it! Stop it! Come here!
593
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:44,160
Come here!
594
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:48,160
GASPS
595
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:50,799
WHISTLE BLOWS
596
00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,639
Who's Lucas?
Call the bloody police!
597
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,319
♪ Caught in the light
598
00:27:55,320 --> 00:27:58,159
♪ Like a sun to the ocean
599
00:27:58,160 --> 00:27:59,679
♪ Born in the night
600
00:27:59,680 --> 00:28:02,680
♪ In an orderly fashion... ♪
601
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:07,159
Right,
all the students accounted for.
602
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,839
Just Fraser missing.
603
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,040
Win-win.
604
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:12,959
Jesus Christ!
605
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:14,239
Oh, shame.
606
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,879
What happened to you?
The strangest thing happened.
607
00:28:16,880 --> 00:28:20,479
One minute I was helping set
a trap for a bear, the next minute,
608
00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,159
I woke up in a four-poster
bed in a desecrated chapel
609
00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:24,799
next to Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber.
610
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,119
Shut up! I knew you wouldn't
believe me.
611
00:28:27,120 --> 00:28:30,119
So, after he asked me
to donate some blood,
612
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,720
I took a selfie in the mirror
with him. Look!
613
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:38,519
Where's Andrew? Weird.
614
00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,440
He was definitely there.
615
00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,999
THEY SHUDDER
616
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:44,240
No...
45406
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof