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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:05,160 Justice City. 2 00:00:05,160 --> 00:00:07,000 - Would you look at that view? - (girl scoffs) 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,280 Yeah, right, you brought me up here to look at the view. 4 00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,800 Why else would I bring you here? 5 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:14,560 Hey, let's get some tunes on the radio. 6 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,800 That's more like it. 7 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:17,240 (up-tempo 1950s-era music) 8 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:20,880 (raspy, heavy breathing) 9 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:25,720 (cough) 10 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,360 Wait, what was that noise? 11 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,560 It sounded like someone watching us from a bush. 12 00:00:31,560 --> 00:00:33,720 Hey, I know something that'll take your mind off it. 13 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,760 (intense, eerie music) 14 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:40,400 (sinister laughter) 15 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:42,200 (both scream) 16 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:44,800 (sinister laughter gives way to coughing) 17 00:00:44,800 --> 00:00:45,920 (man) Excuse me. 18 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:47,040 (screaming resumes) 19 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,760 (sinister laughter resumes) 20 00:00:49,760 --> 00:00:53,000 (upbeat 1970s music) 21 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,840 (pistol cocks, fires) 22 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,240 Every day, in every way, I'm going to feel more fulfilled and content. 23 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:28,400 I'm going to treat every day like it's my last, and nothing can stop me. 24 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:32,160 The me I want to be is inside me. 25 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,480 You are the master... 26 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,880 What are you do... Hey! 27 00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,040 Leave the self-improvement tapes, mate. 28 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:42,040 They're amazing. I feel so much more fulfilled and content. 29 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:44,160 Yeah, but they're really getting on my tits. 30 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,320 Well, excuse me for improving myself. 31 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,400 (Zach) All right, John? 32 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:48,880 Hey, Zach. Good weekend? 33 00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:50,280 Partied pretty hard, boys. 34 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:51,600 Tell me about it. 35 00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:55,600 Mahogany! Rust! 36 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,400 Quit your yapping and get your assess in here! 37 00:01:58,400 --> 00:01:59,640 # Chief # 38 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,000 Watch what you say in there. His dog's just died. 39 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,040 Oh, not Five-O. 40 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:05,960 Yeah, he's really down about it. 41 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:07,960 Thanks for the heads-up, Zach. 42 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:10,800 Let's try keeping him thinking about happy times, OK? 43 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:13,160 You know how bad Chief gets when he's emotional. 44 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,120 - Chief? - All right, Chief? 45 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:17,960 Remember when Five-O was alive? 46 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:20,040 They were happy times, weren't they? 47 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,320 (sobbing) 48 00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:27,320 Poor little bastard. 49 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,200 All he ever wanted to be was a police dog. 50 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,120 Now he'll never get the chance. 51 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:37,160 He had a great, full life, Chief. Like me. 52 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:40,560 In fact, if I died tomorrow, there's nothing I'd feel I'd missed out on. 53 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:42,520 You still listening to those damn tapes? 54 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,360 I ain't got time to listen to your hippy-dippy bull crap. 55 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:46,960 We got ourselves another missing couple. 56 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,880 That's ten missing people this month, 57 00:02:48,880 --> 00:02:50,800 all of them within a one-mile radius of here. 58 00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,280 (musical sting) 59 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:54,520 The Great Wall of China. That's out of jurisdiction, Chief. 60 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:55,680 Leave it to the Chinese. 61 00:02:55,680 --> 00:02:57,480 Not there. Here. 62 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,960 Dr. Schafer's top secret medical research facility. 63 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:02,880 Who is his Schafer? 64 00:03:02,880 --> 00:03:06,120 Dr. Otto Schafer. Scientific mastermind. 65 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,600 Mayor Grady's diverted the whole of Justice City's medical budget to him 66 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,760 to work on a serum for prolonging human life. 67 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,640 I'll read this later. 68 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,800 Now, get out there, find out what the hell's going on. 69 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:19,200 Oh, and, Chief, I know it hurts right now 70 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,720 but you'll get over Five-O. 71 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:26,720 Might help if you move him out of here though. 72 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:30,160 Just get out! 73 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,640 I think this is the place. 74 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,800 We're looking for Dr. Schafer. Is he in? 75 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,960 Don't know. 76 00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:46,040 Enough of this science talk, scientist. 77 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,400 Where's Schafer? 78 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:48,640 He's probably in the... 79 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,360 (1970s-era R&B music) 80 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:53,480 lab. 81 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:56,920 (1970s-era R&B music continues) 82 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,640 Can you take us to this lab? 83 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,800 I've just sat down, but fine. Follow me. 84 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,200 (chair wheels squeaking) 85 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:20,880 He's over there. 86 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:28,320 Dr. Schafer. John Mahogany, Justice City PD. 87 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:32,120 (intense, eerie music) 88 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,920 Pleasure to meet you, Mr Mahogany. 89 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:37,200 How may I be of assistance to... 90 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:38,400 oh, good God. 91 00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:41,200 My hair's a complete mess. 92 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,800 Drove in with the top down this morning. 93 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:46,080 You should have said something, you naughty boy. 94 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:48,400 We're looking into some missing people in the area. 95 00:04:48,400 --> 00:04:49,960 Ten people in the last month. 96 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,440 Ten? How horrid. 97 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,200 So this is all science, then. Is it? 98 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,880 Maybe. Don't know. I'm pretty crap at my job. 99 00:04:57,880 --> 00:04:59,440 Crisp? 100 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:02,080 (1970s-era R&B music) 101 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:04,800 What's your name? 102 00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:09,840 - Tamara. - No, tell me now. 103 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:12,640 OK, it's Gail. 104 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,240 How does a girl like you end up here? 105 00:05:15,240 --> 00:05:16,360 Bus. 106 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,280 So you've not seen them? 107 00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:24,000 Hmm, no, although I'm a big fan of their music. 108 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,120 How about the couple? 109 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,520 No. And I would have remembered. 110 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:32,200 You know what they say, a scientist never forgets. 111 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,720 I think that's elephants. 112 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:39,680 Elephants? No, I'm pretty sure it's scientists. 113 00:05:39,680 --> 00:05:41,800 So, as you can see, 114 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,320 there's nothing of suspicion at all happening here. 115 00:05:45,320 --> 00:05:46,560 Uh... 116 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:48,600 (musical sting) 117 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:49,760 Duh. 118 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,400 (musical sting) 119 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:53,000 Nothing at all. (coughing) 120 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,200 (musical sting) 121 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,120 Yeah, well, we'll be in touch. 122 00:05:59,120 --> 00:06:00,960 Rest assured, if I do hear anything 123 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,760 about those ten missing people, you'll be the first to know. 124 00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,320 Wait a minute. 125 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,960 I didn't say there were ten of them. 126 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:16,360 ## 127 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,520 Wait a minute, you did say there was ten of them. 128 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,520 Oh, yeah. Well, it doesn't matter now. You're trying to stab me. 129 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,400 Aah! So not fair. 130 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:25,880 Mitch! Mitch, some help! 131 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,320 (laughter) 132 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,280 I wish I'd taken my chewing gum out first. 133 00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:34,480 (intense laughter) 134 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:35,880 - Give it up, Schafer. - No! 135 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:39,080 I must stay here in my lab and finish my serum. 136 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,600 I'm so close. 137 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,720 The only lab you'll be working from is in prison. 138 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,120 Do they have science labs in the prison? 139 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,000 Uh, I don't know. It's got a wood shop. 140 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,200 You could learn woodwork instead. 141 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,040 No chance. You know what they say? 142 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:54,240 You can't teach an old scientist new tricks. 143 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,400 That's... that's dogs. When did you learn this? 144 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:57,680 They're completely wrong. 145 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,600 (both grunting) 146 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,000 Have a nice life. Not! 147 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,120 (sinister laugh) I did a joke. 148 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,480 Are you serious? 149 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,280 Guess that was a real shot in the arm. 150 00:07:17,280 --> 00:07:20,080 (laughter) 151 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,160 Well, thank God this thing prolongs human life. 152 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,600 (laughter) 153 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,440 Although there are some side effects. 154 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:28,400 Number one, an increased desire to talk about the weather. 155 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:30,680 (laughter) 156 00:07:30,680 --> 00:07:32,800 Well, that's fine. It has been getting colder recently. 157 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,560 (laughter) 158 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,200 And anyone who takes it will die within exactly 24 hours. 159 00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,360 (laughter) 160 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:41,600 What! How is that supposed to prolong human life? 161 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:43,160 Teething problems. 162 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,240 Well, is there antidote? 163 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:46,240 Yeah, Dr. Schafer's got it. 164 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,320 But you just missed him. 165 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,400 (musical sting) 166 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,040 His assistant was nice. 167 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,400 I'd be more concerned with the fact I'm going to die tomorrow. 168 00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:05,720 Well, what about, 'My, if I die tomorrow 169 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,360 there's nothing I feel I've missed out on.' 170 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:12,400 That was a hypothetical. 171 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,120 There's loads of shit I want to do. 172 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:15,800 Plus, it looks like rain out there. 173 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,600 Well, chill out. Don't let it needle you. 174 00:08:18,600 --> 00:08:20,840 Right? A syringe joke. Great. 175 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,680 Hey, John, how's the arm? 176 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,640 Heard he caught you with a... killer jab. 177 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:28,280 (laughter) 178 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:29,680 This isn't funny. 179 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:33,000 All right, I can 'serum' not welcome here. 180 00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:36,640 All right, that's it! You and me, Kowalski. 181 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:40,240 If you're gonna do this, then you're going to have to make a decision. 182 00:08:40,240 --> 00:08:41,280 Oh, yeah? What's that? 183 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,280 Do you want death... or sudden death? 184 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:46,600 Come on, break it up, break it up. 185 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,000 You might have a lot on, mate. 186 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,760 But that was a good joke from Zach. 187 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,160 I've literally got 23 hours to live. 188 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:53,240 Twenty-three hours to live! 189 00:08:53,240 --> 00:08:56,080 It was 24 earlier. Get your story straight. 190 00:08:56,080 --> 00:08:58,080 Cool it! All of you. 191 00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,040 Now I want everyone to leave Mahogany alone. 192 00:09:01,040 --> 00:09:03,800 - Thank you, Chief. - Stop trying to inject... 193 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:06,360 some fun into the situation. 194 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,480 (laughter) 195 00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:10,880 Literally dying here, guys. 196 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:12,080 (laughter continues) 197 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:13,360 Ticking time bomb. 198 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:16,640 Laugh it up! Laugh it up! 199 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,480 That was a doozy. (laughs) 200 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,800 Don't worry about it. 201 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,320 Schafer's assistant's in the lab with Helga right now 202 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:27,880 trying to work up an antidote. 203 00:09:27,880 --> 00:09:30,480 Meanwhile, we have to find Schafer! 204 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:31,720 You hear? 205 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:32,840 Get to work! 206 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:38,800 ## 207 00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:42,400 You don't think you're overdoing it with the suit? 208 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,000 Never failed me before. 209 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,400 What about when you wore it at Delaney's funeral? 210 00:09:46,400 --> 00:09:48,200 It's what he would've wanted. 211 00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:50,560 Case number 4329: domestic homicide. 212 00:09:50,560 --> 00:09:52,280 Victim shows multiple cut marks 213 00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,520 two to three centimetres deep. 214 00:09:53,520 --> 00:09:55,000 How's the antidote coming on? 215 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,840 Inconsistent angle of entry points towards 216 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:58,600 a frenzied, unplanned attack. 217 00:09:58,600 --> 00:10:00,280 Helga? 218 00:10:00,280 --> 00:10:02,120 Sorry, I was miles away. 219 00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,400 Just having my lunch. 220 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:06,400 You're doing an autopsy on your lunch break? 221 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,600 It's how I like to relax. 222 00:10:08,600 --> 00:10:10,160 OK. Fair enough. 223 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:11,960 It's just pretty urgent here. I'm literally dying. 224 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:13,920 - You have your lunch at 12? - Yes. 225 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:15,800 Doesn't that make your afternoons really long? 226 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:17,920 Like I said, guys, it's... it's urgent here. 227 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,640 Twelve is the optimum time to efficiently regulate my digestive process. 228 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:25,200 Literally ticking clock here! Guys, just... the antidote. 229 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,400 Dr. Schafer's assistant is... working on it. 230 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,520 I'd better go see how she's, uh... 231 00:10:33,840 --> 00:10:34,880 getting on. 232 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,800 He is trying to impress her with the suit, yes? 233 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,880 Yeah. 234 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:42,720 If he likes her, surely he should just ask her 235 00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,760 if she wants to have sexual intercourse with him. 236 00:10:46,400 --> 00:10:49,680 (1970s-era R&B music) 237 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,600 I like your suit. 238 00:10:52,600 --> 00:10:54,080 Nice shoes too. 239 00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:57,000 (clank) 240 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,280 They're ivory. 241 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,960 Pretty uncomfortable, actually. 242 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:03,120 They got no bend to them. 243 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,440 There's nothing good about these shoes. 244 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:08,960 Ribena? 245 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,920 Don't mind if I do. 246 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,120 I think you're meant to add water to that. 247 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:26,040 I was sorry to hear you will soon be dead. 248 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:27,040 Thanks? 249 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:29,400 If it helps, we have a saying in my country... 250 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,600 When you die, you rot in the ground like abandoned meat. 251 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,200 Sounds much nicer back home. 252 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:39,360 (speaks in foreign language) 253 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,520 Yeah. You... you don't have to worry about trying to cheer me up. 254 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,720 Uh, do you think you and Gail will have figured out 255 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:44,800 the antidote by tomorrow morning? 256 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:46,600 It's not looking good. 257 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,360 All Gail can remember from the equation 258 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:51,720 to Dr. Schafer's serum is that it had a four in it. 259 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,280 Well, could you just please try and figure something out? 260 00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,720 Sure. I'll get right on it. 261 00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:57,800 - Thank you. - After lunch. 262 00:12:01,560 --> 00:12:05,280 (melancholic music) 263 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:06,360 (Chief sighs) 264 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,960 You miss him, don't you, Chief? 265 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:13,200 He would have been the best damn police dog 266 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,800 the department's ever seen. 267 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:18,600 Sure. Although he was far too old to begin police training, 268 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,960 and he was really dumb. 269 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,360 The best. 270 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,040 I know what you're going through. 271 00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:27,040 Losing someone you love, it hurts. 272 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,120 I just want my Five-O back. 273 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,560 When I lost my Action Man, I went to pieces. 274 00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:34,520 Started hitting the squash hard. 275 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,520 But one guy stood by me and cleaned me up. 276 00:12:37,720 --> 00:12:39,720 You're a good cop, Kowalski. 277 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:42,120 I wasn't going to let you drink yourself into the gutter. 278 00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:45,080 Yeah, well I wanted to make it up to you, 279 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:51,040 so I'd like you to meet the newest member of Justice City PD. 280 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:52,840 Officer Five-O. 281 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,880 (up-tempo music) 282 00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,120 What the hell have you done to my dog? 283 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,240 Now we can fight crime. 284 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,480 He looks ridiculous. 285 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:07,920 What part of this did you think I'd like? 286 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:09,120 The blues and twos? 287 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,240 (siren squawks) 288 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,280 Get the hell out of my office! 289 00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,120 Both of you! 290 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,720 Looks like Mahogany's still hanging in there. 291 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,800 Yes, but unless somebody can come up with something 292 00:13:40,800 --> 00:13:43,000 in the next five hours, he's done for. 293 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,080 That's true. 294 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:47,040 - Got you some Lucozade, mate. - Oh, thanks, Mitch. 295 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:48,840 Drank it on the way here. Sorry. 296 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:52,840 What're you doing? 297 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:54,000 Just doing my bucket list. 298 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,600 I figured seeing as it may be my last day on Earth, 299 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,240 I might as well do everything I've always wanted. 300 00:13:58,240 --> 00:14:00,160 Sounds boring. What you got? 301 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:01,800 Uh, swim with dolphins. 302 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:03,360 Sleep under the stars. 303 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,280 Donate blood. Probably should just cross that one off. 304 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,480 Putting my pants on in a different way. 305 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:11,320 Shave. 306 00:14:14,160 --> 00:14:16,120 Recording an album with my band, Mahog and the Fog. 307 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,400 - Who's in that? - It's just me... 308 00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:20,320 a fog machine and a cassette tape. 309 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,120 And I'm standing naked in the rain. Hopefully I can still do that one. 310 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,360 There's some light showers later with the temperatures dropping 311 00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:27,360 from 3 or 4 degrees overnight. 312 00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:31,640 Yeah, well, I'm off back to the lab. 313 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,200 - Oh, yeah, how's it going in there? - Yeah. 314 00:14:34,200 --> 00:14:36,800 - Pretty good. - Oh, good. Good. 315 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,360 I think she likes me. 316 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:41,160 Not your bloody love life, the antidote! 317 00:14:41,160 --> 00:14:42,600 Oh, I see. 318 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,680 It's always about you, isn't it? 319 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,800 I'm dying, you selfish bastard! 320 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:48,280 I've got five hours to live! 321 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:52,600 Get your story straight... 23, 24, 5. Come off it, mate! 322 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:54,480 All you can think about is that idiot lab technician! 323 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,400 How dare you. 324 00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:58,240 She's a lab assistant. 325 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,480 Yeah, go on! Go! 326 00:15:03,480 --> 00:15:06,240 I don't need your help, anyway! 327 00:15:12,280 --> 00:15:15,080 (male vocalist) # John's only got one day to live # 328 00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:20,880 # And he's got to get through it on his own # 329 00:15:23,800 --> 00:15:28,000 # He's trying to do his bucket list # 330 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:32,200 # Whilst Mitch tries to find him a cure # 331 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:34,400 (female vocalists) # Yeah, right # 332 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,120 (male vocalist) # Mitch is too horny # 333 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:41,560 # He wants to have sex with a laboratory # 334 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:46,120 (female vocalists) # Assistant # 335 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,760 (male vocalist) # John would go bowling # 336 00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:52,680 # If only he had the time # 337 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:56,800 (female vocalists) # But he's almost dead # 338 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:12,440 - What's going on? - Shhhhhut up! 339 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,480 (suggestive music) 340 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,440 D'ahh... ohh... 341 00:16:36,080 --> 00:16:38,000 (Rust screams) 342 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,760 (Tamara laughs) 343 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,840 (sneezes) 344 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:53,160 (imitating barking, snarling dogs) 345 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:57,800 (Tamara laughing, cheering) 346 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:59,800 (Rust screams) 347 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,400 That was some very weird sex. 348 00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:23,360 (coughs) 349 00:17:23,360 --> 00:17:25,880 Dad. Dad, are you there? It's me. 350 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:27,280 (Frank) Hi, son. How's it going? 351 00:17:27,280 --> 00:17:29,840 Why is it echo-y there? Are you on the toilet? 352 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,040 I'm just finishing up. 353 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:35,000 Sorry about that. Ate some bad ribs last night. 354 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,520 Been in the dunny all day. What can I do for you? 355 00:17:37,520 --> 00:17:39,120 You're gonna wanna sit down for this. 356 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:42,440 (Frank) Well, I'm not going back in there. What's the matter? 357 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:43,480 I'm dying, Dad. 358 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,480 An evil scientist injected me with a serum 359 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:49,200 that gives you exactly 24 hours to live. 360 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:51,320 Bloody typical. 361 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,080 Looks like I'm coming to stay with you on the Other Side. 362 00:17:55,080 --> 00:17:59,000 Yeah. I've got a sofa and a sleeping bag, 363 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,160 so you can stay here for a couple of nights, 364 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,640 but then you'll have to find your own place. 365 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:04,000 Thanks, Dad. 366 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,640 Gotta go, son. Now cheer up. Least you're not dying. 367 00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,600 Oh shit, yeah. Um... none of us can live forever, 368 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,880 so don't go mad trying to find a way to. 369 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:14,000 (voice echoing) Don't go mad trying to find a way to. 370 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,920 Don't go mad trying to find a way to... 371 00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,480 (Schafer) A serum for prolonging human life. 372 00:18:17,480 --> 00:18:20,800 I must finish my serum. I'm so close. 373 00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:23,760 That's it! You're a genius, Dad! 374 00:18:23,760 --> 00:18:25,240 OK, first things first. 375 00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:26,920 Helga how's the antidote coming along? 376 00:18:26,920 --> 00:18:28,560 I must begin again. 377 00:18:28,560 --> 00:18:31,160 My research has been somewhat contaminated. 378 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,440 Oh for f... 379 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:36,680 Now the one thing we know about Dr. Schafer 380 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:38,440 is that he'd do anything to get his serum to work, 381 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,240 including swapping the antidote. 382 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,800 Maybe he'll listen if we can convince him 383 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,960 that Gail's managed to solve it. 384 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,280 Now we don't have much time. 385 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,760 The temperature's dropping out there, 386 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,200 and we've got an area of low pressure coming in from the North. 387 00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:52,680 The fact is we still don't know how to find Schafer. 388 00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:54,200 There's no trace of him. 389 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:58,000 Nada, zero, zilch, zip! 390 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,200 The man's a goddamn ghost! 391 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:02,800 - We could call him. - How? 392 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,000 I've got his number. 393 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,720 What? You didn't think to mention this earlier 394 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,200 when we're all talking about how are we going to find Dr. Schafer? 395 00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:13,240 Sorry, I didn't want to be 'that girl' who's all like, 396 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,680 'Ooh, I'm the one that's got Schafer's number.' 397 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,680 To be fair, mate... 398 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:24,320 she's been a bit busy, yeah? 399 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:25,400 Having sex. 400 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,920 That's great. Right? I'm super stoked for you. 401 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,160 Just please, please. Can you call him? 402 00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,720 And tell him that you'll meet him in the lab. 403 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:37,000 (wheezing and coughing) 404 00:19:39,120 --> 00:19:40,280 Oh, give it a rest, mate. 405 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:42,000 John! John, what is it?! 406 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,000 I'm dying, obviously. 407 00:19:45,760 --> 00:19:46,800 Mate? 408 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,040 Mate? 409 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:55,760 Mate! 410 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,080 Aaahhh. 411 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,000 ## 412 00:20:07,160 --> 00:20:09,880 I'm sorry I didn't help you with your bucket list, mate. 413 00:20:09,880 --> 00:20:12,080 (Mahogany coughs) It's OK. 414 00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,960 Sorry I lost it with you. 415 00:20:14,920 --> 00:20:16,560 I'm sorry I called you a prick, as well. 416 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:21,080 - You called me a prick? - What? No, no. 417 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:23,600 If I don't get a chance to tell you this later, 418 00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:27,840 I want you to know... 419 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:29,360 it's windy out. 420 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,400 I can't believe my best mate's dying. 421 00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:35,080 Just as I fall for the perfect woman. 422 00:20:36,640 --> 00:20:41,000 To think you might never get the chance to watch us have sex. 423 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,720 - I'm all right. - It's OK. 424 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,160 I know you're just saying that. 425 00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,760 - No, 100%, I'm-I'm not keen. - No, it's all right. Shh. 426 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,000 Where the hell is Schafer? 427 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,120 Don't know. He said he'd pop over. 428 00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:52,200 (musical sting) 429 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,720 And I'm as good as my word. (chuckles) 430 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,000 Don't you worry about that... oh! 431 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,800 Look at my hair. Jesus. 432 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,520 It's very windy outside. 433 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,000 Did you bring the antidote? 434 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,640 Yes. 435 00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:08,240 But first you must tell me the formula for the serum. 436 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,200 How about you give us the antidote first? 437 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:11,480 - No. - Please? 438 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,200 You do have the formula, don't you? 439 00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,320 You haven't sent me here on some kind of wild scientist chase. 440 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:21,880 Goose chase! Everybody knows it's goose chase. 441 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:24,560 - Of course we've got the formula. - Have we? 442 00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:27,360 Does that mean we don't have to pretend that we've got it any more? 443 00:21:27,360 --> 00:21:28,760 Honey! 444 00:21:28,760 --> 00:21:29,840 What? 445 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,000 Gail, you lied to me! 446 00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,200 Well, well. 447 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:38,640 If you don't have the formula, then you don't get the antidote. 448 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,400 Wait! Don't do it, Doc. 449 00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,680 All right, so we-we fibbed. 450 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,640 We don't have the formula for prolonging human life. 451 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,680 But what does that even mean? 452 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,160 Well, it's very clear. It means... 453 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:53,880 You know, I never used to have much of a life. 454 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,400 But then I met the woman of my dreams. 455 00:21:58,840 --> 00:21:59,920 And I love her. 456 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,320 Shh. Don't. 457 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:02,360 I love her. 458 00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,480 I love you. 459 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:06,520 I love her. 460 00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:13,480 And you know, we made beautiful weird love together. 461 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,800 Really freaky stuff, you know? 462 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:18,800 Falling in love! 463 00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,840 Isn't that just a way of prolonging human life? 464 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,280 As much as any formula? 465 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,280 (starts to sob) 466 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,040 Oh, I'm so sorry, everyone, but he's just made everything feel so uncomfortable, 467 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:42,560 I'm going to have to do this now just to get out of this situation. 468 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:44,040 (musical sting) 469 00:22:46,920 --> 00:22:48,040 Bollocks. 470 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:50,680 What are we gonna do? He's only got seconds to live! 471 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:51,800 (pistol cocks) 472 00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:55,920 Maybe you'll think twice before you try and trick me again. 473 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,440 And now I shall make my escape. 474 00:22:58,440 --> 00:22:59,520 Goodbye! 475 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,000 (glass shatters) 476 00:23:04,440 --> 00:23:05,760 Five-O? 477 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,880 - Quick, Chief! - What's this? 478 00:23:17,880 --> 00:23:20,800 I created an antidote after lunch. 479 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:22,320 Just stick it in him. 480 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,400 Stick it in him. 481 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:24,800 ## 482 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,440 - Oh! - Go get him, boy! Go get him! 483 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:37,440 Aah! Aah! 484 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:38,800 Yes! 485 00:23:40,360 --> 00:23:43,560 I will get my revenge on you. 486 00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:48,000 Your scientists will come home to roost over this! 487 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,200 (groans) 488 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:52,240 (groans) 489 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,360 ## 490 00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:01,360 The antidote should be working now. 491 00:24:01,360 --> 00:24:04,560 - Oh good. - However, there is one side effect. 492 00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:06,200 Go on. 493 00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,320 Anybody who is administered with this antidote will die in exactly... 494 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:11,600 (musical sting) 495 00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:13,600 24 years. 496 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:17,640 Meh, that's all right. 497 00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,680 I've got ages to sort an antidote for that. 498 00:24:19,680 --> 00:24:24,000 (1970s-era R&B music) 499 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,160 So, how about we celebrate with a round of sex? 500 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,520 Yeah. Sorry. I don't think it's gonna work out. 501 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,840 You're too emotional, 502 00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:35,320 and I like my men to be a bit more big 503 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,720 and insensitive 504 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:41,000 and n-never crying, and long beards, 505 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,160 and maybe working at a police station. 506 00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:44,400 Soz. 507 00:24:51,080 --> 00:24:53,000 Sorry things didn't work out, mate. 508 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:56,000 Here, you know what you need? 509 00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,880 A little self-improvement. 510 00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:59,080 Something makes me think 511 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:00,720 I'm not gonna be needing these any more. 512 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:03,960 You see, I've learnt something today. 513 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,240 You shouldn't live every day like it's your last 514 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:08,960 because your last day is really shit. 515 00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,280 I learned that the only thing worse than science is love. 516 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:15,600 - Yeah. - And a test tube up the arse. 517 00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,600 What? 518 00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:17,960 And Five-O learned to play 'air fetch'. 519 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,120 (laughter) 520 00:25:20,120 --> 00:25:21,200 (Rust) Yeah! 521 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:22,960 Looks like there's life in the old dog yet. 522 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,400 (laughter) 523 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:28,480 Maybe we should give him a treat for being a good boy. 524 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:29,720 (laughter) 525 00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:31,600 Oh no, wait. He's dead! 526 00:25:31,600 --> 00:25:33,440 (laughter) 527 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:35,040 He's not dead, he's not dead. 43177

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