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1
00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,249
Okay,
2
00:01:25,416 --> 00:01:27,124
let's get this straight
3
00:01:27,250 --> 00:01:32,124
I don't want to hear another word
of this Y2K nonsense
4
00:01:32,250 --> 00:01:35,082
Phones going dead, electricity cut-off,
5
00:01:35,208 --> 00:01:39,374
banks collapsing,
or even planes falling out of the sky
6
00:01:40,083 --> 00:01:42,332
The end of the world is not coming!
7
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:49,290
The numbers in our calendar
will change, yes,
8
00:01:49,416 --> 00:01:51,249
all four at once,
9
00:01:51,416 --> 00:01:53,124
but they're only numbers!
10
00:01:53,250 --> 00:01:55,749
Mankind has been through this before
11
00:01:59,208 --> 00:02:00,749
At eight o'clock,
12
00:02:01,083 --> 00:02:05,082
a lot of very important people
will dine at our tables
13
00:02:05,583 --> 00:02:07,749
The mood in which
they leave in the morning
14
00:02:08,083 --> 00:02:10,749
will impact the lives
of millions of ordinary people
15
00:02:11,083 --> 00:02:14,165
Our duty is to make sure
that no one's ass gets sore
16
00:02:14,291 --> 00:02:16,582
from sitting on too hard a chair,
17
00:02:16,750 --> 00:02:20,165
that they all stuff themselves
with caviar to their heart's content,
18
00:02:21,083 --> 00:02:25,249
that bubbles of champagne
will gush from their noses and ears
19
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:27,332
Is that clear?
20
00:02:29,708 --> 00:02:32,582
- Trying to make a point, Tonino?
- No
21
00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,249
I mean, yes
22
00:02:37,375 --> 00:02:39,582
Couldn't agree more, boss
23
00:02:41,375 --> 00:02:45,582
I expect nothing more from you al
than our usual...
24
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:50,082
politeness, precision, and perfection
25
00:02:51,208 --> 00:02:55,665
Five, four, three, two, one...
26
00:02:59,625 --> 00:03:01,415
Twelve hours left
27
00:03:01,541 --> 00:03:04,707
Let's get to work everybody!
Let's get to work!
28
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,332
Too salty
29
00:03:31,458 --> 00:03:32,707
Pour it out!
30
00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:34,374
Pour it out!
31
00:05:17,166 --> 00:05:20,040
Slowly, slowly, be careful, be careful
32
00:05:20,166 --> 00:05:22,457
Push it back...
33
00:05:23,708 --> 00:05:27,249
Push it back more, this side
34
00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:30,415
Push this side back more, it's stuck
35
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:34,415
Stop, stop, stop
36
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:36,665
Step away, step away
37
00:05:52,416 --> 00:05:53,749
Wow. what a night
38
00:05:54,083 --> 00:05:56,082
What a night!
39
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:58,124
May I help you, sir?
40
00:05:58,250 --> 00:06:01,415
- My room key
- What would be the room number?
41
00:06:02,541 --> 00:06:05,374
I don't remember,
look it up on your thing
42
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,707
Faraday, Simon Faraday
43
00:06:15,416 --> 00:06:18,457
I'm sorry, sir, according to my files
you're not staying with us
44
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:25,415
Would you tell your files
we've been staying at the Grand Bellevue
45
00:06:25,583 --> 00:06:29,040
at Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve,
for 15 years!
46
00:06:29,166 --> 00:06:31,999
My compliments,
then you should probably go there
47
00:06:33,583 --> 00:06:36,082
- Where?
- The Grand Bellevue
48
00:06:36,250 --> 00:06:38,332
A short walk down the road
49
00:06:38,458 --> 00:06:40,374
Hasn't moved an inch since 1912
50
00:06:49,583 --> 00:06:50,999
Sir!
51
00:07:10,583 --> 00:07:11,624
Tonino!
52
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:17,999
- Yes, sir?
- Can't they see it's not centered?
53
00:07:27,416 --> 00:07:31,082
- I'll take care of it immediately, sir
- It's not a chair you can move around
54
00:07:31,250 --> 00:07:32,665
- It's heavy
- Sorry
55
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,707
- Good morning, Mr. Minetti
- Good morning
56
00:07:35,041 --> 00:07:36,290
- Slept well?
- Like a baby
57
00:07:36,416 --> 00:07:38,999
Our boys will be happy
to carry those to the ski room
58
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:42,290
Oh, no! My Scott-Pros? No, thanks
59
00:07:42,416 --> 00:07:44,624
I've had these babies stolen from me once
60
00:07:44,750 --> 00:07:47,540
Not here, Mr. Minetti,
we can take care of your babies
61
00:07:47,666 --> 00:07:50,665
Do you know how long
it takes to import them from Idaho?
62
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,749
I'd rather keep them under my bed
63
00:07:55,416 --> 00:07:56,749
Did you see him?
64
00:07:57,500 --> 00:07:59,249
- Bongo!
- Bongo?
65
00:07:59,416 --> 00:08:01,124
Bongo! He's a big star
66
00:08:01,291 --> 00:08:05,124
- Really? What was he in?
- He's done hundreds of movies
67
00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:08,165
"Sex Odyssey", "Sperminator",
68
00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:11,332
"Pulp Friction"...
The list is just endless
69
00:08:14,541 --> 00:08:17,415
Such a beast without a muzzle!
70
00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:19,082
I'm sorry, sir
71
00:08:20,041 --> 00:08:21,624
C'mon, little boy
72
00:08:21,750 --> 00:08:23,207
Get up here now
73
00:08:26,291 --> 00:08:28,749
C'mon, Mr. Toby, shit!
74
00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,332
We don't have all day
75
00:08:36,666 --> 00:08:38,749
Is Bongo your real name?
76
00:08:40,750 --> 00:08:42,082
An artistic pseudonym
77
00:08:42,416 --> 00:08:43,624
I knew it
78
00:08:44,041 --> 00:08:47,082
- My mother told me all about you
- Ashley, God!
79
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:49,082
Good thing it wasn't your grandma
80
00:08:51,541 --> 00:08:52,749
Do you still work?
81
00:08:53,375 --> 00:08:55,040
In private
82
00:08:55,208 --> 00:08:57,749
- No more movies?
- Ashley, come
83
00:08:58,125 --> 00:08:59,999
I'm retired now
84
00:09:04,375 --> 00:09:06,165
Hi, darling!
85
00:09:06,333 --> 00:09:07,624
How are you?
86
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:10,249
My God, time stays still for you
87
00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,082
And you, getting younger every year
88
00:09:28,208 --> 00:09:29,290
Come on
89
00:09:33,708 --> 00:09:36,249
Seriozh, take everything to the suite
90
00:09:38,625 --> 00:09:42,415
- Let's go
- Holy shit! Holy shit!
91
00:09:49,291 --> 00:09:51,999
What the hell is going on?
92
00:09:53,041 --> 00:09:54,165
All right
93
00:10:00,125 --> 00:10:02,249
- I asked for champagne
- Hi
94
00:10:02,625 --> 00:10:06,415
How about a safe?
Do you have a safe safe here?
95
00:10:06,625 --> 00:10:09,290
Absolutely, this way, follow me
96
00:10:10,750 --> 00:10:11,707
Please
97
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,249
You want to fit a suitcase
in one of these?
98
00:10:19,416 --> 00:10:22,749
You can put the content
into several safes or...
99
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:25,082
All of them?
100
00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:26,540
I'll get the manager
101
00:10:26,708 --> 00:10:30,332
What the hell do you mean you can't find
my reservation? Are you a retard?
102
00:10:30,500 --> 00:10:32,540
It's that...
103
00:10:32,708 --> 00:10:34,582
Mr. Crush!
104
00:10:34,708 --> 00:10:38,749
So nice to see you back with us,
what seems to be the problem?
105
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:42,082
This imbecile is trying to convince me
I don't have a reservation
106
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,665
I am so sorry,
there must be some sort of error
107
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,415
- Maybe you forgot to reserve?
- I don't make my own travel plans
108
00:10:48,541 --> 00:10:52,082
I have two competent assistants
and they made them twice
109
00:10:52,458 --> 00:10:54,624
Once would be enough,
if it got through to us
110
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,290
You're telling me
the people that work for me are lying?
111
00:10:57,416 --> 00:11:01,165
Certainly not, Mr. Crush,
let me assure you, no need to worry
112
00:11:01,333 --> 00:11:04,499
- We'll do our best to find a solution
- Find a solution?
113
00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:07,207
Sorry, but the Russians
need a bigger safe
114
00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:10,249
- If you'll excuse me...
- No, you're not going anywhere
115
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:13,415
Get me into my suite first,
then you do what you gotta do
116
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:17,207
My colleague is already working on it
and I'll be back right away
117
00:11:17,375 --> 00:11:19,499
This is un-fucking-believable!
118
00:11:19,625 --> 00:11:22,749
This whole place is turning to shit
119
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,582
- Do you like chocolate?
- What?
120
00:11:24,708 --> 00:11:26,124
- Chocolate
- Chocolate?
121
00:11:26,291 --> 00:11:29,624
Good morning, my name is Hansueli Kopf,
I'm the hotel manager
122
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:30,749
I hear you need some help
123
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:35,165
We have fragile luggage
that we would like to place in a safe
124
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,249
Yes
125
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,332
During world War II,
the Swiss central bank
126
00:11:41,458 --> 00:11:43,665
stored its reserves here
127
00:12:01,083 --> 00:12:03,249
Perfectly secure as you can see
128
00:12:04,625 --> 00:12:06,165
...See?
129
00:12:20,250 --> 00:12:22,415
We'll change the bulb right away
130
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:26,290
- Nobody has been down here in a while
- Don't bother, Mr. Kompf
131
00:12:26,416 --> 00:12:29,624
- Just give me the key
- That's absolutely out of the question
132
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:32,207
- Why?
- Because...
133
00:12:32,541 --> 00:12:35,415
- It's the hotel policy
- Change the policy
134
00:12:45,541 --> 00:12:48,582
All I want to do is drink!
135
00:12:53,583 --> 00:12:55,290
214
136
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:57,540
Girls...
137
00:12:57,666 --> 00:13:00,249
- 210 and 209
- Connected?
138
00:13:00,416 --> 00:13:01,374
As you requested
139
00:13:13,416 --> 00:13:15,415
The bodyguards' room is just opposite
140
00:13:15,541 --> 00:13:19,374
We put in two rollaways,
I hope it won't be too cramped
141
00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:22,124
- Sorry for the inconvenience
- Don't worry
142
00:13:22,250 --> 00:13:25,332
Why are you making faces?
You can cuddle at night
143
00:13:30,083 --> 00:13:31,540
Thank you, sir
144
00:13:32,541 --> 00:13:36,499
Mr. Tell, just trust me, okay?
I know this stuff inside out
145
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,124
Y2K hits, no one's gonna have a clue
146
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,999
Not for a long time,
not for a very long time
147
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:47,624
No, I don't think
that's a very good idea
148
00:13:47,750 --> 00:13:52,040
Why won't we do this?
Why don't we meet in my suite and...
149
00:13:52,166 --> 00:13:53,540
I'll walk you through the details
150
00:13:53,708 --> 00:13:56,165
- Twelve-thirty?
- Sir, your room is ready
151
00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:57,249
- What's the number please?
- 707
152
00:13:57,375 --> 00:13:58,415
Great
153
00:13:59,416 --> 00:14:02,415
Okay, twelve-thirty sharp
154
00:14:02,583 --> 00:14:04,624
All right, Mr. Tell, I'll see you then
155
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,124
Suite 707
156
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,540
Here's your room, sir
157
00:14:25,500 --> 00:14:30,082
- Get that asshole manager up here!
- Yes, sir, right away, sir
158
00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:43,457
Leave that, leave that right there
159
00:14:50,166 --> 00:14:51,457
Get out
160
00:14:54,333 --> 00:14:56,249
Whoever draws the short stick
161
00:14:56,375 --> 00:14:58,249
sleeps on a cot
162
00:15:06,291 --> 00:15:08,415
Damn, I can't even fit on that
163
00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:10,707
Pick one
164
00:15:35,083 --> 00:15:36,624
Dear Russians,
165
00:15:37,583 --> 00:15:39,249
today,
166
00:15:39,375 --> 00:15:41,582
on the last day
167
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:44,082
of the outgoing century,
168
00:15:44,208 --> 00:15:47,749
I am retiring
169
00:15:48,583 --> 00:15:50,749
I have made a decision
170
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:54,415
Today, I am addressing you
171
00:15:54,583 --> 00:15:58,540
for the last timeas Russian president
172
00:16:07,416 --> 00:16:09,165
Is your TV working?
173
00:16:09,708 --> 00:16:11,207
What the heck?
174
00:16:11,333 --> 00:16:12,582
May I turn it on?
175
00:16:12,708 --> 00:16:14,249
Help yourself
176
00:16:16,083 --> 00:16:18,582
Can't get porn in your room?
177
00:16:22,125 --> 00:16:26,124
In accordance with the constitution,
178
00:16:26,291 --> 00:16:27,665
as I'm retiring,
179
00:16:28,041 --> 00:16:31,040
I have signed a decree
180
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:35,415
entrusting the dutiesof the president of Russia
181
00:16:35,541 --> 00:16:37,582
to Prime Minister
182
00:16:38,166 --> 00:16:41,582
Vladimir vladimirovic Putin
183
00:16:42,375 --> 00:16:45,124
For the next three months
184
00:16:45,708 --> 00:16:48,999
he will be the head of state
185
00:17:00,083 --> 00:17:04,540
Are you out of your mind? Can you see me
sleeping in this fucking broom closet?
186
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:08,749
Or can you see me trying to take a piss
in this dollhouse toilet of yours?
187
00:17:09,416 --> 00:17:13,082
I know Mr. Crush, this is the worst room
in the hotel, I absolutely agree
188
00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:15,499
But we don't have anything else
189
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:19,999
I'm here to offer you a complimentary
bottle of champagne with our apologies
190
00:17:20,166 --> 00:17:22,415
Know what you can do
with that champagne?
191
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,415
Would you like some chocolates?
192
00:17:24,750 --> 00:17:26,290
Listen...
193
00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:29,749
I want you to listen,
I want you to listen carefully
194
00:17:30,125 --> 00:17:33,165
I make one phone call, one phone call,
195
00:17:33,333 --> 00:17:36,582
before you change your shirt,
and I'm gonna own your fucking hotel
196
00:17:38,208 --> 00:17:39,499
Anything else?
197
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:42,582
Wait, woah, woah, I like that
198
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:45,249
I like that a lot...
You know what? I'll take it
199
00:17:45,416 --> 00:17:48,374
No, Mr. Crush, this suite is taken
200
00:17:48,500 --> 00:17:51,082
The guest is downstairs,
signing autographs
201
00:18:16,500 --> 00:18:17,999
Get the fuck out of my room
202
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:44,499
Has everybody in this hotel gone insane?
203
00:18:46,583 --> 00:18:49,665
Othmar!
Are we serving penguin now?
204
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,165
- Penguin?
- Yes
205
00:18:59,541 --> 00:19:02,374
Maybe with a little garlic and tarragon
206
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:05,582
we could sell it as shark fin
207
00:19:07,208 --> 00:19:10,082
No, Mr. Kopf, this came for...
208
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:13,457
Arthur Duncan Dallas "III"
209
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,624
Is not "III", it's "the Third"
210
00:19:18,333 --> 00:19:20,415
Arthur Duncan Dallas the Third
211
00:19:21,125 --> 00:19:23,249
To be delivered to his suite
212
00:19:23,500 --> 00:19:25,332
- To his suite?
- Yes
213
00:19:29,750 --> 00:19:31,124
Tonino?
214
00:19:31,250 --> 00:19:32,374
Yes, boss?
215
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:36,499
Do you know anything about a penguin
for Dallas Duncan the Third?
216
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,165
A stuffed penguin?
217
00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,499
No, live penguin!
218
00:19:43,333 --> 00:19:46,749
You wait here and you watch this thing
219
00:19:49,458 --> 00:19:52,082
Now we're babysitting a penguin
220
00:19:52,208 --> 00:19:54,415
These wealthy people...
221
00:19:56,125 --> 00:19:58,415
They'll lose everything at midnight
222
00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:03,665
Morning Arthur, here's your masterpiece,
all typed up and looking good
223
00:20:04,708 --> 00:20:07,249
This must be a complete surprise
224
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:11,582
All we need now
is people to join in the chorus
225
00:20:12,375 --> 00:20:13,665
Come on in
226
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,415
Hansueli! Perfect timing
227
00:20:16,583 --> 00:20:19,457
- Come on in, come on in
- Good morning, Mr. Dallas...
228
00:20:19,583 --> 00:20:21,749
- I'm so sorry to...
- I know things are insane today...
229
00:20:22,750 --> 00:20:27,374
I'm afraid I'll need to borrow some of
your most talented personnel
230
00:20:27,541 --> 00:20:29,749
- I won't keep them long
- Well, yes, but...
231
00:20:30,083 --> 00:20:32,415
- I'm here to talk about the penguin
- He's here?
232
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,665
Oh, great! He's key
to this whole wedding anniversary
233
00:20:36,291 --> 00:20:40,124
You know, Mr. Dallas, we don't have
much experience with wild animals
234
00:20:41,291 --> 00:20:43,499
He's the gentlest creature in heaven!
235
00:20:43,625 --> 00:20:46,374
He's the mascot of my marriage
236
00:20:46,541 --> 00:20:50,082
You see,
one year ago today my wife and I
237
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,457
were married at San Pietro di...
238
00:20:52,625 --> 00:20:53,749
- Positano
- Positano
239
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:57,415
A hotel as charming as your own
240
00:20:57,583 --> 00:20:59,582
They had a penguin
241
00:21:00,250 --> 00:21:03,082
It was most extraordinary thing
242
00:21:03,250 --> 00:21:08,540
And my wife would feed him
out of her hand, every day at the table
243
00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:12,749
It became a symbol of our happiness
244
00:21:13,083 --> 00:21:16,540
- I'm beginning to understand
- Well, I've written some words
245
00:21:16,666 --> 00:21:19,374
to the tune of "Happy Birthday"
246
00:21:19,541 --> 00:21:22,374
Can you get us some decent voices
to sing this with us?
247
00:21:22,500 --> 00:21:24,540
- To the penguin?
- To my wife
248
00:21:24,666 --> 00:21:26,082
Of course
249
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:27,582
With pleasure
250
00:21:27,750 --> 00:21:31,707
- I'll take care of it immediately
- Good, good, good
251
00:21:35,750 --> 00:21:38,249
An amazing paillette dress
252
00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:40,624
It's him! It's him!
253
00:21:42,375 --> 00:21:43,207
He's here!
254
00:21:43,708 --> 00:21:46,249
Good morning, Dr. Lima, caipirinha?
255
00:21:46,416 --> 00:21:48,999
Hello, Luigi, you know
I'm hooked on your caipirinhas
256
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:52,290
- It'll make the end of the world better
- The end of the world?
257
00:21:52,458 --> 00:21:55,749
- Y2K! Doomsday!
- You can't believe in this nonsense!
258
00:21:56,083 --> 00:21:59,040
Of course I do, I'm ready for anything
259
00:21:59,166 --> 00:22:01,540
I took all my savings out of the bank
260
00:22:01,666 --> 00:22:04,082
You don't understand, he's so important
261
00:22:04,250 --> 00:22:05,665
Dr. Lima!
262
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:09,290
I don't want to disturb you,
but I'm so happy to see you
263
00:22:10,083 --> 00:22:11,624
You remember me?
264
00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:14,499
Gloria, Gloria Robinson
265
00:22:14,625 --> 00:22:16,749
You did me a few years back
266
00:22:17,083 --> 00:22:19,207
Yes, yes, of course
267
00:22:19,333 --> 00:22:20,707
My lips
268
00:22:21,041 --> 00:22:22,707
Your mouth, of course
269
00:22:23,375 --> 00:22:25,749
And your nose, too, right?
270
00:22:27,208 --> 00:22:28,582
Just a touch
271
00:22:28,708 --> 00:22:30,582
"The Lima touch", they call it
272
00:22:30,708 --> 00:22:34,457
May I introduce my dear friend, Alice?
273
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,415
I'm so happy to meet you, Dr. Lima
274
00:22:38,541 --> 00:22:41,499
I've been waiting so long
for this opportunity
275
00:22:41,625 --> 00:22:44,124
What a golden opportunity!
276
00:22:44,250 --> 00:22:47,582
- It's a pleasure
- Could you give Alice an appointment?
277
00:22:48,666 --> 00:22:50,499
Well, I'm actually on vacation
278
00:22:50,666 --> 00:22:54,749
- Please!
- Alice has a problem with her breasts
279
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:58,332
She had a procedure a little while ago,
280
00:22:58,458 --> 00:23:00,540
and they botched it
281
00:23:00,666 --> 00:23:01,457
Yeah
282
00:23:05,541 --> 00:23:07,540
What's the problem?
283
00:23:07,666 --> 00:23:09,540
Symmetry
284
00:23:18,750 --> 00:23:21,582
Are we even allowed to do this
under union rules?
285
00:23:21,708 --> 00:23:25,082
Mr. Dallas is very rich,
maybe we'll get a big tip
286
00:23:25,208 --> 00:23:28,207
You know why the rich are rich?
Because they don't tip
287
00:23:45,583 --> 00:23:46,707
Puff!
288
00:23:48,291 --> 00:23:51,540
Puff, where are you?
Puffball, your princess is awake
289
00:23:52,083 --> 00:23:55,249
To Magnolia from me
290
00:23:55,416 --> 00:23:58,332
Yes, it's from Dallas Three
291
00:23:59,208 --> 00:24:03,207
For our endless happiness
292
00:24:03,333 --> 00:24:07,082
blooms a Magnolia tree
293
00:24:07,208 --> 00:24:11,124
Happy bride and bridegroom
294
00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:14,207
Here in our humble room
295
00:24:14,375 --> 00:24:17,749
My most precious entity
296
00:24:18,750 --> 00:24:22,040
is my Magnolia bloom
297
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:23,582
Yeah!
298
00:24:24,208 --> 00:24:25,582
My darling!
299
00:24:26,500 --> 00:24:29,249
Next year will be even better
300
00:24:34,083 --> 00:24:35,582
Oh, my God!
301
00:24:42,333 --> 00:24:44,374
Is he really for me?
302
00:24:44,541 --> 00:24:47,457
- He's all yours
- What a cutie!
303
00:24:50,083 --> 00:24:51,415
Come here, baby
304
00:24:52,708 --> 00:24:54,207
Come on
305
00:24:55,666 --> 00:24:59,207
- Why won't he come out?
- Pussy, pussy, pussy...
306
00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:00,540
Pussy, pussy?
307
00:25:03,083 --> 00:25:06,124
Does anyone know how to wrangle a penguin?
308
00:25:06,291 --> 00:25:08,499
I wouldn't touch that fucker
with a beanpole
309
00:25:08,666 --> 00:25:11,624
- Maybe lure him with food?
- He likes fish
310
00:25:13,583 --> 00:25:16,082
That one looks tasty
311
00:25:16,250 --> 00:25:18,582
Don't touch the fish!
Please, don't touch the fish!
312
00:25:19,333 --> 00:25:23,124
- Call the room service
- Order him some salmon
313
00:25:23,250 --> 00:25:24,999
Not smoked, fresh
314
00:25:51,083 --> 00:25:52,415
Precy!
315
00:25:53,083 --> 00:25:55,415
Come, quickly!
316
00:25:56,041 --> 00:25:57,749
- Madam?
- Madam?
317
00:26:00,750 --> 00:26:02,540
Slap her
318
00:26:02,666 --> 00:26:04,249
You slap her
319
00:26:25,250 --> 00:26:27,749
What does she feed it
to make it stink like that?
320
00:26:28,083 --> 00:26:29,124
Caviar
321
00:26:29,583 --> 00:26:31,582
She feeds her dog caviar
322
00:26:31,708 --> 00:26:33,332
It's not good for dogs?
323
00:26:33,458 --> 00:26:37,415
People in India are starving to death
and she feeds her dog caviar!
324
00:26:37,541 --> 00:26:40,249
You don't understand, you can't
325
00:26:40,416 --> 00:26:43,332
You can't comprehend the pain
of having a suffering dog
326
00:26:43,500 --> 00:26:45,249
You understand nothing
327
00:26:45,416 --> 00:26:47,249
Please, Marquise, calm down
328
00:26:47,416 --> 00:26:50,082
For Mr. Toby's sake,
we'll find a solution
329
00:26:50,708 --> 00:26:54,374
I fear the worst,how soon can you get a veterinarian?
330
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:58,040
That may not be so easy, Marquise,
it's New Year's Eve
331
00:26:58,208 --> 00:26:59,707
Money is no object with love
332
00:27:04,625 --> 00:27:07,540
She's hysterical, something's wrong
with that rat of hers
333
00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,249
I hate that dog, call the veterinarian
334
00:27:10,375 --> 00:27:13,415
I did, he's in Kenya on a safari
335
00:27:13,583 --> 00:27:16,124
- Then call the one in Hinterboden
- He's in labor
336
00:27:16,250 --> 00:27:18,332
- He is in what?
- A cow is in labor
337
00:27:18,458 --> 00:27:21,249
Difficult delivery,
he's doing a C-section
338
00:27:21,375 --> 00:27:24,165
- So what am I to do?
- You know how to deal with her
339
00:27:26,666 --> 00:27:30,624
He's had a problem doing his business
in the snow since he was a baby
340
00:27:30,750 --> 00:27:32,415
- You know that
- Yes
341
00:27:32,541 --> 00:27:36,082
- He can only do it on grass
- Let me remind you
342
00:27:36,208 --> 00:27:37,707
we're in the Alps and it's winter
343
00:27:38,041 --> 00:27:40,415
Look, he's shaking all over
344
00:27:40,583 --> 00:27:44,415
A doctor should examine him immediately,
every second counts
345
00:27:44,583 --> 00:27:46,749
- Yes, but unfortunately...
- I know!
346
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:49,624
Dr. Lima!
347
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,082
But Dr. Lima is a plastic surgeon
348
00:27:52,250 --> 00:27:54,040
But he has a medical degree
349
00:27:54,208 --> 00:27:54,999
Yes, but...
350
00:27:55,125 --> 00:27:57,082
He adores dogs
351
00:27:57,208 --> 00:27:59,374
He has two Saint Bernards,
he showed me pictures
352
00:27:59,541 --> 00:28:02,749
Yes, but he would certainly
call a vet for his dogs
353
00:28:03,083 --> 00:28:06,499
Dr. Lima takes care
of his wife so generously
354
00:28:06,625 --> 00:28:09,415
Alzheimer's in a family
is a terrible tragedy
355
00:28:09,541 --> 00:28:13,082
- Yes, of course
- I'm sure he will help Mr. Toby
356
00:28:18,333 --> 00:28:20,374
Please, connect me to Dr. Lima's room
357
00:28:25,291 --> 00:28:26,499
Hello?
358
00:28:26,625 --> 00:28:28,499
I need to speak to Dr. Lima
359
00:28:28,625 --> 00:28:31,415
Sorry, I don't know any Dr. Lima
360
00:28:35,333 --> 00:28:38,624
Sorry, I'm here,
my wife is joking, of course
361
00:28:41,625 --> 00:28:43,249
Good morning, Marquise
362
00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:48,374
Not at all, happy to hear from you
363
00:28:55,416 --> 00:28:56,624
Forgive me,
364
00:28:56,750 --> 00:29:00,082
I've been exclusively treating humans
365
00:29:05,208 --> 00:29:08,415
No, I guess it won't hurt to have a look
366
00:29:29,083 --> 00:29:30,624
Dear Russians,
367
00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:33,124
dear fellow citizens,
368
00:29:34,083 --> 00:29:37,665
I have been askedto become the head of state
369
00:29:39,166 --> 00:29:41,249
There will be no interruption of power
370
00:29:41,375 --> 00:29:44,582
not even for a minute in this country
371
00:29:45,166 --> 00:29:48,582
Freedom of expression,freedom of speech,
372
00:29:48,708 --> 00:29:50,665
freedom of conscience...
373
00:29:51,041 --> 00:29:52,457
Yelstin was drunk
374
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:56,999
He will wake up tomorrow
and think he's still president
375
00:30:00,125 --> 00:30:01,249
The armed forces
376
00:30:06,291 --> 00:30:09,249
are working the same as before
377
00:30:10,375 --> 00:30:13,124
Our State is intactand will remain intact,
378
00:30:13,291 --> 00:30:17,374
and continues workingfor the safety of each citizen
379
00:30:17,583 --> 00:30:20,582
when deciding to step down...
380
00:30:26,416 --> 00:30:28,207
What is his problem exactly?
381
00:30:28,375 --> 00:30:29,499
He won't do it in the snow
382
00:30:30,291 --> 00:30:33,290
He made that painfully obvious to me
383
00:30:34,041 --> 00:30:35,332
He's never acted like this before
384
00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:39,290
I guess there's no other way to put it...
385
00:30:40,250 --> 00:30:42,165
He crapped on my bed, voilà
386
00:30:42,625 --> 00:30:43,457
I see
387
00:30:43,625 --> 00:30:45,707
Does he sense something?
388
00:30:46,083 --> 00:30:47,415
What would he sense?
389
00:30:47,583 --> 00:30:49,082
Y2K...
390
00:30:49,250 --> 00:30:51,124
The end of the world, of course
391
00:30:51,541 --> 00:30:53,540
Animals have an instinct
392
00:30:53,708 --> 00:30:56,540
often stronger than ours, an insight
393
00:30:56,708 --> 00:30:58,415
Marquise...
394
00:30:58,541 --> 00:31:00,540
You can't really believe in this twaddle
395
00:31:00,708 --> 00:31:03,582
I feel we're on the edge of a precipice,
396
00:31:04,500 --> 00:31:06,999
with all my heart
397
00:31:11,250 --> 00:31:12,374
You see,
398
00:31:12,541 --> 00:31:14,207
Y2K, the end of the world,
399
00:31:15,041 --> 00:31:16,040
what else?
400
00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,749
I have to examine his stool
401
00:31:22,666 --> 00:31:25,082
What did you do with the excrement?
402
00:31:27,416 --> 00:31:29,499
- What?
- From the Marquise
403
00:31:30,083 --> 00:31:32,082
- Laundry room
- With the regular bedding?
404
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:35,540
What were we supposed to do,
put it in the dishwasher?
405
00:31:35,750 --> 00:31:37,749
Find it, right away
406
00:31:39,750 --> 00:31:44,207
Zula, really?
No respect for the Marquise's poo!
407
00:31:58,000 --> 00:31:59,249
Found it!
408
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:04,624
I feel like Cinderella
409
00:32:04,750 --> 00:32:07,999
Except we'll never go to the fucking ball
410
00:32:08,333 --> 00:32:09,624
At least not tonight
411
00:32:26,291 --> 00:32:28,082
Oh, my God!
412
00:32:30,541 --> 00:32:31,749
Thanks
413
00:32:38,291 --> 00:32:40,207
Will there be anything else?
414
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:43,124
No, thanks so much, Mrs. Frautschi
415
00:32:43,291 --> 00:32:44,749
At your service, madam
416
00:33:38,333 --> 00:33:40,165
Madam, can I help you?
417
00:33:40,291 --> 00:33:42,749
Can I take your suitcase?
I'll take this for you
418
00:33:52,666 --> 00:33:54,290
May I help you, sir?
419
00:33:54,416 --> 00:33:57,415
We travel here for Mr. Crush,
to see him in this hotel
420
00:33:57,583 --> 00:34:01,707
- You have an appointment with Mr. Crush?
- No, making surprise
421
00:34:03,083 --> 00:34:04,415
He is here, yes?
422
00:34:04,583 --> 00:34:08,999
Sorry, the hotel doesn't give out
that kind of information regarding guests
423
00:34:10,583 --> 00:34:12,040
Would you like to leave a message?
424
00:34:12,375 --> 00:34:14,457
I am his son
425
00:34:16,250 --> 00:34:19,082
I will notify Mr. Crush of your arrival
426
00:34:21,750 --> 00:34:24,249
Welcome to the Hammam Experience!
427
00:34:24,375 --> 00:34:26,249
I'm Baba Paramahansa Ravi
428
00:34:26,416 --> 00:34:29,582
I will be taking care of you personally
429
00:34:29,750 --> 00:34:31,582
Please, follow me
430
00:34:32,750 --> 00:34:37,165
You will start with our famous foot ritua
in the Infinity Room
431
00:34:37,333 --> 00:34:39,457
I'm ticklish, though, just so you know
432
00:34:49,666 --> 00:34:52,457
- There's no answer
- There is no answer in his room
433
00:34:54,250 --> 00:34:57,165
- There is no answer in his room
- Yeah?
434
00:34:58,083 --> 00:35:00,207
You can wait in the lobby, if you want
435
00:35:00,458 --> 00:35:02,082
- Lobby
- Lobby
436
00:35:02,250 --> 00:35:03,249
Yeah, lobby
437
00:35:03,583 --> 00:35:06,249
Good morning
and welcome to the Palace hotel
438
00:35:06,375 --> 00:35:10,582
Please, allow us to take care
of your coats and the luggage
439
00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:12,457
Yes?
440
00:35:13,375 --> 00:35:16,332
So, my name is Hansueli Kopf
and I'm the manager
441
00:35:22,208 --> 00:35:24,290
Why don't you have something to eat?
442
00:35:24,458 --> 00:35:26,749
On the house, smoked salmon, caviar...
443
00:35:27,083 --> 00:35:28,082
Some oysters perhaps?
444
00:35:29,166 --> 00:35:30,749
Something to eat?
445
00:35:31,416 --> 00:35:32,457
Soup?
446
00:35:32,625 --> 00:35:35,499
- Where are you arriving from?
- Ceské Budejovice
447
00:35:36,416 --> 00:35:38,624
- Is it a long way?
- Very long
448
00:35:38,750 --> 00:35:41,624
Changing trains, Vienna and Zurich...
449
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,665
- You have soup?
- Yes, a lot of soup
450
00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,040
Girls are cold
451
00:35:48,208 --> 00:35:50,290
I'll bring some broth to warm them up
452
00:35:50,583 --> 00:35:52,707
Put some dumplings in
453
00:36:03,291 --> 00:36:05,624
What's your diagnosis, Dr. Lima?
454
00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:09,582
I beg you, be absolutely honest,
I'm ready for anything
455
00:36:09,750 --> 00:36:11,374
I'm not a veterinarian,
456
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:14,415
but I'm certain Mr. Toby has worms
457
00:36:17,083 --> 00:36:19,249
- Is that bad?
- Don't worry
458
00:36:19,416 --> 00:36:22,582
It's common among dogs,
mine had them too
459
00:36:22,708 --> 00:36:26,040
I will prescribe medicine
for the parasites
460
00:36:26,416 --> 00:36:28,207
to give Mr. Toby right away
461
00:36:28,333 --> 00:36:31,082
- But he's not going to die?
- Of course not
462
00:36:31,208 --> 00:36:32,624
Thank God!
463
00:36:33,000 --> 00:36:35,124
However, there's a little problem
464
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,624
I'm afraid you may share...
465
00:36:38,250 --> 00:36:39,540
this affliction
466
00:36:40,750 --> 00:36:42,290
I have worms?
467
00:36:42,458 --> 00:36:43,749
Maybe, yes
468
00:36:44,458 --> 00:36:45,582
Worms inside my body?
469
00:36:45,750 --> 00:36:48,707
I'll be sure when I've seen...
470
00:36:49,041 --> 00:36:51,249
your stool sample
471
00:36:51,625 --> 00:36:52,749
My what?
472
00:36:53,125 --> 00:36:55,082
Your stool
473
00:37:23,291 --> 00:37:25,499
Puff! Puff, look!
474
00:37:25,625 --> 00:37:28,249
- What?
- We're on the front cover again
475
00:37:36,250 --> 00:37:39,665
Why do you have to get
so carried away, Puff?
476
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:44,082
- I didn't even have time to dry my hair
- Hyenas!
477
00:37:44,208 --> 00:37:46,249
Scumbucket hacks!
478
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:55,582
All they ever write about day after day
479
00:37:55,750 --> 00:37:57,124
is how much...
480
00:37:59,416 --> 00:38:02,040
you're going to inherit from me...
481
00:38:02,750 --> 00:38:04,707
come tomorrow
482
00:38:05,083 --> 00:38:09,082
Don't get so upset, Puff,
your blood pressure
483
00:38:11,375 --> 00:38:13,415
Honey, you already took one
484
00:38:13,583 --> 00:38:15,249
And without water?
485
00:38:27,708 --> 00:38:28,749
That's better
486
00:38:35,541 --> 00:38:37,165
Here he comes
487
00:38:41,333 --> 00:38:43,040
- Go and tell him
- Me?
488
00:38:43,166 --> 00:38:45,249
Yeah, it might be easier
to hear it from you
489
00:38:47,541 --> 00:38:50,415
Could I have a bottle of Bollinger
and two glasses?
490
00:38:50,583 --> 00:38:52,165
Would you like anything else?
491
00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:56,540
- Yes, a couple of hot super models
- Not on the menu, sir
492
00:38:57,333 --> 00:38:58,540
Sir
493
00:38:59,333 --> 00:39:01,415
- Your son is here
- What?
494
00:39:01,541 --> 00:39:03,457
Your son is here
495
00:39:03,583 --> 00:39:05,749
A son? I don't have a son
496
00:39:13,250 --> 00:39:14,582
At last!
497
00:39:15,291 --> 00:39:16,582
Give me a hug!
498
00:39:18,250 --> 00:39:21,665
- Who the hell are you?
- It's me, I'm your son, Vaclav!
499
00:39:22,041 --> 00:39:23,749
Listen to me, asshole
500
00:39:24,083 --> 00:39:26,082
Stay the fuck away
or I'll call security
501
00:39:26,541 --> 00:39:30,374
Dad, we came all the way
to see you from Ceské Budejovice
502
00:39:30,541 --> 00:39:32,040
"Budejoic", what? "Bude"...
503
00:39:32,208 --> 00:39:35,374
- So you can meet your family
- My family? I don't have a family
504
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:39,582
These are your granddaughters,
Ivanka and Jaromira
505
00:39:39,750 --> 00:39:42,665
Listen, I don't know you, okay?
So scram...
506
00:39:43,041 --> 00:39:44,249
They are twins
507
00:39:44,375 --> 00:39:47,415
We used artificial insemination
508
00:39:48,125 --> 00:39:49,082
Dad...
509
00:39:49,250 --> 00:39:54,165
I write so many letters to you, remember?
I even sent you wooden squirre
510
00:39:54,333 --> 00:39:58,249
- So cute, right?
- Get the fuck out of my face, you clown
511
00:39:58,416 --> 00:40:01,499
Incredible! How can he be so inhuman?
512
00:40:01,666 --> 00:40:04,415
I am the fruit of your college love
513
00:40:04,541 --> 00:40:08,082
When you were in Prague for two days...
This is mama back then
514
00:40:08,250 --> 00:40:13,124
Take one more step, I'm gonna bust
your fucking nose wide open, hear me?
515
00:40:13,291 --> 00:40:15,582
You gave her a keychain
that said "Chevrolet"
516
00:40:15,750 --> 00:40:18,999
I've never been to Prague,
I don't even know where Prague is
517
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:21,415
You, sir, are heartless
518
00:40:23,125 --> 00:40:26,082
- And on a day like this?
- Do you have a light, sweetheart?
519
00:40:27,541 --> 00:40:29,249
Please, please, please
520
00:40:29,416 --> 00:40:33,582
This must be settled calmly, in private,
please, there are other guests
521
00:40:35,500 --> 00:40:38,124
Your papa is nervous,
this must be a shock for him
522
00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:41,332
You must give him some time, don't worry
523
00:40:46,458 --> 00:40:49,332
A penguin! A penguin! A penguin!
524
00:40:50,041 --> 00:40:51,082
- Tonino?
- Yes, boss?
525
00:40:51,250 --> 00:40:54,165
Mr. Dallas's mascot is wandering around
outside The Gringo
526
00:40:54,291 --> 00:40:56,332
Get it out of here immediately
527
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:59,249
Come on, it's just a penguin, come, come
528
00:41:08,333 --> 00:41:09,415
Come
529
00:41:14,041 --> 00:41:15,249
So, here...
530
00:41:15,375 --> 00:41:17,540
You will be comfortable here for now
531
00:41:17,666 --> 00:41:21,290
At the moment it's peaceful,
and then we will see
532
00:41:24,125 --> 00:41:25,124
Oh, my god
533
00:41:33,250 --> 00:41:35,124
Can I help you, sir?
534
00:41:43,041 --> 00:41:45,082
- Good afternoon, sir
- Caspar Tell
535
00:41:45,208 --> 00:41:47,415
I have an appointment with Mr. Crush,
in the lobby bar
536
00:41:47,583 --> 00:41:50,124
- Mr. Crush
- I don't know Mr. Crush personally
537
00:41:50,250 --> 00:41:53,207
- Perhaps someone could lead me to him?
- Certainly
538
00:41:54,708 --> 00:41:56,499
Mr. Crush in the lobby
539
00:41:57,458 --> 00:41:59,165
Follow him
540
00:41:59,333 --> 00:42:01,124
- Thank you
- You're welcome
541
00:42:01,291 --> 00:42:03,540
As I was saying, Marco called...
542
00:42:04,541 --> 00:42:05,665
Thank you
543
00:42:07,500 --> 00:42:09,082
Mr. Crush?
544
00:42:09,208 --> 00:42:13,582
- Mr. Tell! Take a load off, have a seat
- Yeah, yes
545
00:42:16,125 --> 00:42:18,332
I was afraid I might not recognize you
from your photos
546
00:42:19,208 --> 00:42:20,749
From my photos?
547
00:42:21,083 --> 00:42:23,415
Well, I pride myself on being thorough
548
00:42:23,583 --> 00:42:26,415
The bank always runs a thorough
background check on prospective clients
549
00:42:26,708 --> 00:42:29,249
Yeah, well, that's good to know
550
00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:33,415
I mean, background checks are...
I'd expect nothing less, believe me
551
00:42:34,250 --> 00:42:36,582
I know you gotta run
back to your office, but...
552
00:42:37,083 --> 00:42:39,499
today is a very special day
553
00:42:39,625 --> 00:42:41,249
A drop of champagne with me?
554
00:42:42,708 --> 00:42:44,249
Yes, please
555
00:42:45,416 --> 00:42:46,415
Thank you
556
00:42:47,250 --> 00:42:48,707
There we go
557
00:42:49,416 --> 00:42:50,540
I shouldn't...
558
00:42:52,083 --> 00:42:53,582
- Prost!
- Prost
559
00:42:56,750 --> 00:42:58,624
I'm very grateful
for the invitation, Mr. Crush
560
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,040
I was here once, when I was seven
561
00:43:01,166 --> 00:43:04,082
My whole first grade class came
and we met Father Christmas
562
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:05,540
I always wanted to come back again
563
00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:08,707
Did you bring that little thing
we've discussed?
564
00:43:09,583 --> 00:43:11,749
Well, that's the thing, Mr. Crush
565
00:43:12,083 --> 00:43:15,124
I ran another check on your portfolio
right after we spoke this morning
566
00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:18,249
The numbers don't entirely add up
567
00:43:18,416 --> 00:43:21,624
You see? There seems to be
a difference of three zeros
568
00:43:21,750 --> 00:43:24,207
- Three zeros
- Caspar, listen to me
569
00:43:24,375 --> 00:43:29,165
Computers worldwide are about to crash
because of a "difference of zeros"
570
00:43:29,291 --> 00:43:34,082
They gonna read 2000 as zeros,
only zeros, zeros here, zeros there...
571
00:43:34,208 --> 00:43:38,374
The whole world is going to be zeros,
so an extra zero or two, who'll notice?
572
00:43:38,541 --> 00:43:41,582
Me, it's my job to notice those things
573
00:43:41,708 --> 00:43:44,332
- I've been a bank auditor for 31 years
- Exactly!
574
00:43:44,458 --> 00:43:47,999
Now, by this time tomorrow,
575
00:43:48,125 --> 00:43:50,582
we'll be two of the richest men
on the planet, all right?
576
00:43:50,750 --> 00:43:53,290
Should we drink to that? Prost!
577
00:43:53,708 --> 00:43:55,082
Prost!
578
00:44:00,041 --> 00:44:01,415
You know what?
579
00:44:01,583 --> 00:44:04,082
The walls have ears in here,
why don't we...
580
00:44:04,250 --> 00:44:06,457
go out on the terrace?
581
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:22,082
In people's minds,
New Year is one precise moment, okay?
582
00:44:22,250 --> 00:44:25,665
The stroke of midnight,
that's fine, but midnight where?
583
00:44:26,291 --> 00:44:29,415
In Tokyo? In Hawaii? Right here?
584
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:33,499
New Year's is a bust out
twenty-four fucking hours, Caspar
585
00:44:34,250 --> 00:44:38,124
So listen to me, you do your part
and this afternoon the rest is easy
586
00:44:38,666 --> 00:44:43,124
The funds get wired to London,
then to New York, LA, Honolulu...
587
00:44:43,250 --> 00:44:46,249
each time reaching its destination
earlier than it was sent
588
00:44:46,416 --> 00:44:51,124
Well, I suppose, if the credit
was logged prior to the debit,
589
00:44:51,250 --> 00:44:54,332
assuming the amount clears before...
590
00:44:54,500 --> 00:44:56,665
We're traveling back in time, Caspar
591
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,457
Like a science fiction thriller
592
00:45:00,583 --> 00:45:04,582
Alright? We put this tired old century
in suspended animation
593
00:45:04,750 --> 00:45:06,499
Alright? And then boom!
594
00:45:06,625 --> 00:45:10,249
2000 hits, bang! Hits again, hits again
595
00:45:10,375 --> 00:45:13,165
The whole system resets, okay?
596
00:45:13,333 --> 00:45:16,040
Thank you, Y2K, cha-ching brother!
597
00:45:17,125 --> 00:45:18,290
Cha-ching
598
00:45:43,750 --> 00:45:45,415
Who are you?
599
00:45:45,583 --> 00:45:48,082
I am a plumber, Mr. Kopf ordered me
600
00:45:48,250 --> 00:45:49,582
To do what?
601
00:45:49,750 --> 00:45:52,124
I put grass in your toilet
602
00:46:05,416 --> 00:46:08,249
A truly magnificent idea, Hansueli
603
00:46:08,375 --> 00:46:10,249
Thank you, thank you, thank you
604
00:46:13,583 --> 00:46:15,707
Would you like something to drink?
605
00:46:16,583 --> 00:46:17,749
Monsieur?
606
00:46:18,083 --> 00:46:20,499
- Yes?
- Would you like something to drink?
607
00:46:20,666 --> 00:46:22,207
No
608
00:46:30,500 --> 00:46:32,332
Mr. Minetti!
609
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,624
Ski room
610
00:46:36,083 --> 00:46:37,707
Please, come in, come
611
00:46:38,041 --> 00:46:39,999
Goddamn snowboarders!
612
00:46:40,166 --> 00:46:42,165
Oh my God, take off the boots!
613
00:46:42,333 --> 00:46:45,999
Bring some ice from the bar, hurry!
Please, have a seat
614
00:46:48,083 --> 00:46:50,415
Come here, here!
Pull off, some ice is coming
615
00:46:51,125 --> 00:46:52,165
What happened?
616
00:46:52,333 --> 00:46:53,582
Snowboarders!
617
00:46:53,750 --> 00:46:56,374
Mr. Minetti needs a doctor right away
618
00:46:58,708 --> 00:47:00,499
A doctor? Why?
619
00:47:23,166 --> 00:47:24,582
Thank you very much
620
00:47:26,375 --> 00:47:28,415
- Thank you, madam
- What is your name?
621
00:47:28,750 --> 00:47:29,749
Karol
622
00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:32,082
- Czech?
- Polish, like Pope
623
00:47:32,250 --> 00:47:33,749
- Pope?
- Yes
624
00:47:37,416 --> 00:47:39,499
- Dog likes play, yes?
- I beg your pardon?
625
00:47:42,041 --> 00:47:43,582
Nice dog you have
626
00:47:44,750 --> 00:47:46,540
But... where did he find that?
627
00:47:46,750 --> 00:47:47,749
That's not mine
628
00:47:48,458 --> 00:47:51,207
Hotels! You never know
who slept in your room the night before
629
00:47:51,375 --> 00:47:52,665
- Yes
- Toby!
630
00:47:53,250 --> 00:47:54,499
Put it down!
631
00:47:59,583 --> 00:48:02,374
Okay, I go
632
00:48:02,541 --> 00:48:04,040
I better go now, okay?
633
00:48:07,708 --> 00:48:09,249
Happy New Year, Karol
634
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,415
To you too, madam, Happy New Year
635
00:48:13,583 --> 00:48:16,499
Is there a special party
for the staff downstairs?
636
00:48:16,625 --> 00:48:18,457
No, just work, all night
637
00:48:18,625 --> 00:48:23,665
And what if the drain in my bathroom
clogged up at, say...
638
00:48:24,041 --> 00:48:25,624
four in the morning?
639
00:48:25,750 --> 00:48:28,290
- I would be there
- Then be
640
00:48:28,583 --> 00:48:32,457
Dr. Lima, are you acquainted
with our favorite artist, Mr. Minetti?
641
00:48:32,583 --> 00:48:36,499
- Yes, we met briefly at the bar
- Darling, boy, how I missed you!
642
00:48:38,458 --> 00:48:40,332
Come with me, darling
643
00:48:40,458 --> 00:48:43,665
Let's have a rest
644
00:48:44,250 --> 00:48:46,332
Didn't I see you on television, dear?
645
00:48:46,500 --> 00:48:49,082
Have a seat, let me get a drink
646
00:48:49,208 --> 00:48:52,082
I can't, I have so much
going on downstairs
647
00:48:52,250 --> 00:48:54,082
C'mon, not even a little one?
648
00:48:54,416 --> 00:48:55,457
Okay
649
00:48:56,125 --> 00:48:58,415
- Maybe I deserve a little one
- Of course you do
650
00:48:58,583 --> 00:49:01,124
Here we go, to the year 2000!
651
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:03,415
- Cheers!
- Cheers!
652
00:49:05,708 --> 00:49:10,624
So, I will have to wear a bandage
at the big party tonight?
653
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,707
We'll have to put something on it
654
00:49:13,083 --> 00:49:17,665
You'll look like this actor from
the movie, with a bandage on the nose
655
00:49:18,291 --> 00:49:20,040
What was the name of the movie?
656
00:49:20,208 --> 00:49:22,582
- Yes, yes, yes, yes
- Boss?
657
00:49:22,750 --> 00:49:25,749
- Speak
- There's a problem in the kitchen
658
00:49:26,083 --> 00:49:29,082
- Of course there is, coming
- One for the road?
659
00:49:29,250 --> 00:49:31,082
Yes, a quick one
660
00:49:31,416 --> 00:49:33,540
And maybe you should have
another one, a double
661
00:49:35,166 --> 00:49:37,040
- A double?
- Bye bye
662
00:49:37,416 --> 00:49:38,707
Bye!
663
00:49:47,083 --> 00:49:48,415
So let's get it over with
664
00:49:58,416 --> 00:50:01,082
You must've played a doctor
more than once, right?
665
00:50:01,250 --> 00:50:02,624
Never
666
00:50:02,750 --> 00:50:04,665
Such a cliche
667
00:50:05,416 --> 00:50:08,249
Do you write your own film scripts?
668
00:50:08,416 --> 00:50:10,165
I do sometimes
669
00:50:11,416 --> 00:50:13,415
I used to be a producer
670
00:50:21,416 --> 00:50:23,374
This bit won't hurt
671
00:50:23,541 --> 00:50:25,499
I just need to measure
the bone displacement
672
00:50:25,666 --> 00:50:28,457
Relax, think of something pleasant
673
00:50:28,625 --> 00:50:31,207
- Maybe your next film project?
- Nothing in the making
674
00:50:31,375 --> 00:50:33,040
I'll warn you before I do anything
675
00:50:34,125 --> 00:50:37,749
Did you know that bats
have a bone in their penis?
676
00:50:38,125 --> 00:50:40,749
- Really?
- In your line of work, it could prove...
677
00:50:41,125 --> 00:50:42,040
invaluable
678
00:51:10,208 --> 00:51:13,582
It's so dark in here, Puff,
I thought you liked looking at me
679
00:51:19,416 --> 00:51:21,290
How beautiful!
680
00:51:23,208 --> 00:51:24,749
The Big Dipper!
681
00:51:25,083 --> 00:51:26,124
Come on, darling
682
00:51:26,291 --> 00:51:29,332
I have a star from the heaven...
683
00:51:30,250 --> 00:51:32,124
just for you
684
00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:37,582
The world's most precious necklace
685
00:51:37,708 --> 00:51:40,499
for my most precious princess
686
00:51:41,250 --> 00:51:42,415
Turn around
687
00:51:42,583 --> 00:51:44,082
Put your hair up
688
00:51:57,375 --> 00:52:00,540
Do I get my blowjob or what?
689
00:52:00,708 --> 00:52:03,999
Testing, one, two, three...
690
00:52:04,375 --> 00:52:06,582
Testing, one, two, three...
691
00:52:14,083 --> 00:52:15,499
Enjoying the oysters?
692
00:52:15,625 --> 00:52:19,332
Yeah, I enjoy, my wife also
693
00:52:19,500 --> 00:52:23,332
The disco will open soon, but I have
a quiet place for you for a while
694
00:52:23,708 --> 00:52:25,582
And then we will see again, I guess.
695
00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:28,665
You are very kind, Mr. Hansueli Kopf
696
00:52:32,166 --> 00:52:33,249
As I told you...
697
00:52:41,125 --> 00:52:42,582
Come in, come in
698
00:52:49,166 --> 00:52:52,749
Sit, sit,
the children's program ends soon,
699
00:52:53,125 --> 00:52:56,082
but you can rest here
and then we will find a better place
700
00:52:56,250 --> 00:52:58,665
- They like it here
- Yes, I thought so
701
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:01,249
- I have twin girls myself
- Really?
702
00:53:01,416 --> 00:53:03,290
- Yes
- How old?
703
00:53:03,458 --> 00:53:04,749
Grown up
704
00:53:05,083 --> 00:53:07,499
Can I do anything else for you?
705
00:53:07,666 --> 00:53:11,207
I would very much like to call my mama,
tell her we are good
706
00:53:11,625 --> 00:53:14,082
No problem, you can use my phone
707
00:53:14,250 --> 00:53:15,415
Thank you, I will be very quick
708
00:53:15,583 --> 00:53:17,624
No, take as much time as you need
709
00:53:18,166 --> 00:53:19,415
Thank you
710
00:53:24,250 --> 00:53:26,124
Mommy, it's me Vaclav!
711
00:53:26,416 --> 00:53:28,207
We're in the same hotel as daddy
712
00:53:28,583 --> 00:53:30,374
He sends his greetings
713
00:53:30,500 --> 00:53:33,374
He remembers the Chevrolet keychain
714
00:53:33,500 --> 00:53:35,415
He looks just like me
715
00:53:35,583 --> 00:53:39,749
Only he's orange, because of the sun
716
00:53:40,125 --> 00:53:41,415
in California
717
00:53:42,541 --> 00:53:45,124
He may come to Budejovice
718
00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:46,707
Wouldn't that be great?
719
00:53:47,541 --> 00:53:49,207
I'll call you back
720
00:53:49,375 --> 00:53:51,040
when I'm with him again
721
00:53:51,291 --> 00:53:52,749
Bye bye, kisses
722
00:53:53,541 --> 00:53:55,749
- Thank you, Mr. Kopf
- Yeah
723
00:53:56,500 --> 00:53:58,582
- Enjoy
- Thank you
724
00:54:13,666 --> 00:54:15,082
Puff?
725
00:54:16,250 --> 00:54:18,040
Puff, you are okay?
726
00:54:20,208 --> 00:54:21,499
Puff?
727
00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:23,582
Honey, what's the matter?
728
00:54:25,166 --> 00:54:26,582
Arthur!
729
00:54:27,333 --> 00:54:29,124
Arthur, answer me!
730
00:54:43,041 --> 00:54:44,249
Oh, my God!
731
00:54:44,583 --> 00:54:45,749
Oh, my God!
732
00:55:03,000 --> 00:55:04,165
Okay
733
00:55:05,083 --> 00:55:06,749
Okay, don't...
734
00:55:07,083 --> 00:55:08,665
Don't panic
735
00:55:09,458 --> 00:55:11,040
Don't panic, don't panic
736
00:55:12,083 --> 00:55:14,374
God, Magnolia, think
737
00:55:35,041 --> 00:55:36,040
Concierge
738
00:55:36,166 --> 00:55:39,540
- Hello, this is Mrs. Dallas
- what can I do for you?
739
00:55:39,666 --> 00:55:43,582
- May I speak to Mr. Kopf?
- Could I have him call you back?
740
00:55:43,750 --> 00:55:46,624
- No, I'll hold on
- It might take a few minutes
741
00:55:46,750 --> 00:55:49,999
No, that's all right,
I'm not going anywhere
742
00:55:51,291 --> 00:55:52,999
Mrs. Frautschi
743
00:55:53,666 --> 00:55:55,582
Oh, my God! What happened here?
744
00:55:55,750 --> 00:55:58,749
A guest tried to flush
his banking history down the toilet
745
00:55:59,083 --> 00:56:02,374
- His banking history?
- More Y2K madness
746
00:56:02,500 --> 00:56:04,749
Mrs. Frautschi,
do you know about this Czech family?
747
00:56:05,125 --> 00:56:08,082
You made sure the whole hotel
knows about them
748
00:56:08,250 --> 00:56:09,457
You have to find a place
for them to sleep
749
00:56:09,625 --> 00:56:11,374
Mr. Kopf, on a day like this?
750
00:56:11,500 --> 00:56:14,082
- I can't perform miracles
- I know
751
00:56:14,208 --> 00:56:17,624
But just put four mattresses
in a quiet corner, would you? Please
752
00:56:17,750 --> 00:56:19,207
- Boss?
- Yes, speak
753
00:56:19,333 --> 00:56:21,457
Mrs. Dallas is asking for you
754
00:56:23,041 --> 00:56:24,249
I'm coming
755
00:56:27,041 --> 00:56:28,290
Who is it?
756
00:56:32,250 --> 00:56:34,749
It's me, madam, Hansueli Kopf
757
00:56:35,083 --> 00:56:36,540
- Are you alone?
- Yes
758
00:56:36,666 --> 00:56:39,082
Come in, I'm in the bedroom
759
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,749
Come closer, please
760
00:56:57,416 --> 00:56:59,540
Good evening, what can I do for you?
761
00:57:00,291 --> 00:57:03,124
Arthur told me
you're someone who can be trusted
762
00:57:03,250 --> 00:57:05,707
- Can I trust you?
- Of course you can trust me
763
00:57:06,083 --> 00:57:08,249
- You promise?
- Absolutely
764
00:57:08,666 --> 00:57:11,124
I'm in a terrible predicament
765
00:57:11,291 --> 00:57:14,124
You're the only person
who can help me, I guess
766
00:57:15,083 --> 00:57:17,415
My darling husband is gone
767
00:57:17,541 --> 00:57:21,582
Oh, God, he left you?
He's gone on your wedding anniversary?
768
00:57:21,750 --> 00:57:24,124
No, no, he's gone... forever
769
00:57:25,416 --> 00:57:28,749
Just as our happiness
was reaching a climax
770
00:57:29,083 --> 00:57:30,749
At least I think so, anyway...
771
00:57:31,250 --> 00:57:33,749
Now, he's definitely gone
772
00:57:36,291 --> 00:57:38,749
Oh, my goodness! Oh, my goodness! This...
773
00:57:39,083 --> 00:57:41,165
This is... this is... this is terrible
774
00:57:41,291 --> 00:57:45,040
- Is he... how did he... Is he dead?
- The worst part is...
775
00:57:45,166 --> 00:57:48,082
I can't seem to part with him
776
00:57:48,250 --> 00:57:51,040
Of course, of course, I'm so sorry
777
00:57:51,166 --> 00:57:52,624
I can imagine how you feel...
778
00:57:52,750 --> 00:57:55,290
No, no, that's not what I'm getting at
779
00:57:58,541 --> 00:58:02,665
Back in Texas, they'd say
my husband died in the saddle and...
780
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:06,165
I can't seem to dismount
781
00:58:06,333 --> 00:58:09,457
Oh, God! Oh, God!
I'll call the ambulance right away
782
00:58:09,625 --> 00:58:13,249
No, no, no! Just get me off, please
783
00:58:13,416 --> 00:58:14,582
Please...
784
00:58:17,708 --> 00:58:20,040
Okay, very wel
785
00:58:20,208 --> 00:58:22,457
Just give me a moment, I...
786
00:58:22,625 --> 00:58:25,415
absolutely understand the situation,
and I'll be back right away
787
00:58:25,583 --> 00:58:27,040
Okay
788
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:33,082
Really?
789
00:58:33,416 --> 00:58:34,707
Thank you
790
00:58:35,041 --> 00:58:36,582
Thanks so much, Professor
791
00:58:37,291 --> 00:58:39,082
And Happy New Year
792
00:59:05,666 --> 00:59:09,582
I've been advised of an effective way
out of such a situation
793
00:59:11,041 --> 00:59:14,082
Would you mind exposing
part of your abdomen?
794
00:59:20,750 --> 00:59:22,999
It would be better
if you closed your eyes
795
00:59:23,166 --> 00:59:23,999
Oh, God!
796
00:59:45,625 --> 00:59:47,082
Thank you
797
00:59:48,041 --> 00:59:50,415
Thank you, Mr. Kopf,
from the bottom of my heart
798
00:59:50,583 --> 00:59:54,165
Well, shall I start making arrangements?
799
00:59:54,333 --> 00:59:56,540
Wait, no! No, please
800
00:59:56,666 --> 01:00:00,290
Not yet, there is another delicate matter
801
01:00:00,416 --> 01:00:03,249
- Yes?
- No one else can know until midnight
802
01:00:03,416 --> 01:00:05,665
Until midnight? For religious reasons?
803
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:10,040
- You obviously don't read the tabloids
- No, I try not to
804
01:00:10,208 --> 01:00:13,082
For legal reasons... Wait, no
805
01:00:13,250 --> 01:00:14,374
It's a technicality
806
01:00:15,250 --> 01:00:16,415
I don't understand
807
01:00:16,583 --> 01:00:19,415
- Today is our wedding anniversary
- Yes, of course
808
01:00:19,583 --> 01:00:22,082
- We sang and then there was the penguin
- According to the will,
809
01:00:22,250 --> 01:00:24,582
I stand to inherit everything,
810
01:00:24,708 --> 01:00:27,582
but only after
we've been married a full year
811
01:00:28,541 --> 01:00:30,040
Everything?
812
01:00:30,416 --> 01:00:32,249
It's everything
813
01:00:33,291 --> 01:00:35,540
It's everything or it's nothing
814
01:00:36,500 --> 01:00:38,374
Well, indeed, I understand
815
01:00:38,541 --> 01:00:40,082
Turndown service!
816
01:00:42,375 --> 01:00:44,249
Would you like
your turndown service?
817
01:00:47,333 --> 01:00:50,540
Sorry, would you like
your turndown service, madam?
818
01:00:50,666 --> 01:00:52,582
Turndown service?
819
01:00:53,333 --> 01:00:56,374
Arthur, we don't need
turndown service, do we?
820
01:00:58,166 --> 01:01:00,249
No, no, thank you
821
01:01:00,375 --> 01:01:02,415
Would you like the chocolates, madam?
822
01:01:02,583 --> 01:01:04,165
Chocolates?
823
01:01:04,291 --> 01:01:07,499
Absolutely, my husband
adores these chocolates
824
01:01:07,625 --> 01:01:10,082
- Have a good evening
- Thank you
825
01:01:32,208 --> 01:01:34,665
This will require your absolute discretion
826
01:01:36,458 --> 01:01:38,415
Something bad?
827
01:01:41,416 --> 01:01:43,582
- Oh, yes
- How bad?
828
01:01:46,375 --> 01:01:48,082
Bad bad
829
01:01:48,250 --> 01:01:50,582
A vertical departure
830
01:01:51,750 --> 01:01:53,415
- Who?
- Dallas the Third
831
01:01:53,541 --> 01:01:54,707
Fuck!
832
01:01:55,041 --> 01:01:56,415
- The penthouse?
- Yes
833
01:01:56,583 --> 01:02:01,415
- It'll be done during the fireworks
- Excellent, Mrs. Frautschi, excellent
834
01:02:04,041 --> 01:02:06,624
Are you planning to dim the lights
for the fireworks as usual?
835
01:02:06,750 --> 01:02:09,290
- Right after the cow bells
- Switch them off completely
836
01:02:11,625 --> 01:02:14,207
Welcome, have a wonderful evening
837
01:02:15,208 --> 01:02:16,457
Coat, please
838
01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:22,749
Thank you
839
01:02:26,416 --> 01:02:27,999
Good evening, Mr. Madoff
840
01:02:28,125 --> 01:02:30,749
Have a wonderful evening
and Happy New Year
841
01:02:32,708 --> 01:02:33,749
Thank you, sir
842
01:02:34,583 --> 01:02:38,124
- May I have your name, please?
- Tell, Caspar Tell
843
01:02:41,083 --> 01:02:43,040
I don't seem to have
your name on the list
844
01:02:44,041 --> 01:02:46,415
I gave you the invitation
845
01:02:46,541 --> 01:02:49,582
Yes, but your name needs to be
on our guest list anyway
846
01:02:50,291 --> 01:02:53,124
Mr. Crush invited me, William Crush
847
01:02:53,250 --> 01:02:56,457
- There's "Mr. Crush and madam" here
- I'm his madam
848
01:02:57,250 --> 01:03:00,207
Well of course I'm not a madam,
I'm his madman...
849
01:03:00,375 --> 01:03:03,249
I mean, I'm his madam...
850
01:03:03,416 --> 01:03:06,249
I understand completely,
welcome, Mr. Tell
851
01:03:07,166 --> 01:03:08,040
Thank you
852
01:03:08,375 --> 01:03:10,457
- We are business partners
- Yes, sure
853
01:03:11,583 --> 01:03:13,415
Have a wonderful evening
854
01:03:14,375 --> 01:03:15,624
Good evening, madam
855
01:03:16,541 --> 01:03:17,624
Thank you
856
01:04:06,625 --> 01:04:08,999
- There's my man!
- Mr. Crush
857
01:04:09,708 --> 01:04:11,415
Let's celebrate, huh?
858
01:04:12,291 --> 01:04:14,540
Do we deserve to celebrate?
859
01:04:15,291 --> 01:04:18,290
- Yes
- That's my pleasure to help, brother
860
01:04:22,416 --> 01:04:24,749
Excuse me, madam, sit right here
861
01:04:25,083 --> 01:04:26,249
Two champagne
862
01:04:30,666 --> 01:04:32,582
It was quite easy, really
863
01:04:33,625 --> 01:04:36,165
I was surprised
how easy it turned out to be
864
01:04:37,125 --> 01:04:38,332
Well...
865
01:04:39,500 --> 01:04:44,082
you know, the important thing
that you learned today, my friend, is...
866
01:04:44,666 --> 01:04:47,124
the best stuff comes easy
867
01:04:47,291 --> 01:04:49,582
Okay? Trust me
868
01:04:50,166 --> 01:04:51,582
I do
869
01:04:51,750 --> 01:04:53,749
Trust you, I mean
870
01:04:54,416 --> 01:04:56,665
I suppose I have to, now
871
01:04:58,250 --> 01:05:02,540
Well, what are we going to do now?
When are we leaving?
872
01:05:03,250 --> 01:05:04,665
Tomorrow
873
01:05:05,041 --> 01:05:06,082
What?
874
01:05:07,125 --> 01:05:09,582
I don't think I can be ready by tomorrow
875
01:05:10,416 --> 01:05:13,749
I still haven't told my mother,
I have to pack,
876
01:05:14,083 --> 01:05:16,999
get organized, I have to...
all the... Mr. Crush...
877
01:05:17,166 --> 01:05:18,374
Call me Bill
878
01:05:19,041 --> 01:05:20,749
Okay, okay, Mr. Crush
879
01:05:21,083 --> 01:05:22,707
I mean, Bill
880
01:05:23,083 --> 01:05:25,499
Here's to trust, okay?
881
01:05:25,625 --> 01:05:26,582
Okay
882
01:05:29,250 --> 01:05:31,374
- To trust, Bill
- To trust
883
01:05:53,458 --> 01:05:54,499
Good evening
884
01:05:56,500 --> 01:05:57,749
C'mon, darling
885
01:06:00,166 --> 01:06:02,082
- It's beautiful
- Yes
886
01:06:09,500 --> 01:06:10,582
Welcome, Excellency
887
01:06:10,750 --> 01:06:13,749
I hope our last-minute visit
has not caused too much trouble
888
01:06:14,083 --> 01:06:17,499
Not at all, it's a true honor,
your party is already at the table
889
01:06:17,625 --> 01:06:21,749
Would you like to join them
or would you prefer an aperitif first?
890
01:06:22,083 --> 01:06:25,207
- I'll join them at the table
- Follow me
891
01:06:40,041 --> 01:06:41,582
Good evening, Mr. Ambassador!
892
01:06:41,750 --> 01:06:45,082
Trying to broadcast my presence
to the entire world?
893
01:06:45,250 --> 01:06:47,040
Sit down and shut up
894
01:06:55,000 --> 01:06:56,499
- All in order?
- Absolutely
895
01:06:57,083 --> 01:06:58,415
- No problems?
- None
896
01:06:58,541 --> 01:07:00,082
- Got everything?
- Yes
897
01:07:00,250 --> 01:07:01,457
Where?
898
01:07:01,583 --> 01:07:02,999
In the safe
899
01:07:03,125 --> 01:07:04,249
Where is it?
900
01:07:04,416 --> 01:07:06,040
Downstairs
901
01:07:06,166 --> 01:07:07,249
The key?
902
01:07:17,750 --> 01:07:18,999
Let's have a look
903
01:07:21,083 --> 01:07:24,082
I'll leave my wife here
and you leave your friends
904
01:07:25,000 --> 01:07:26,249
Just you and me
905
01:07:32,208 --> 01:07:33,624
Behave!
906
01:07:39,166 --> 01:07:41,082
Take good care of Mrs. Belova
907
01:07:44,083 --> 01:07:45,415
Irina Anatolievna, a drink?
908
01:07:57,166 --> 01:07:59,540
This I understand!
909
01:08:01,583 --> 01:08:04,665
Let's drink to Irina Anatolievna!
910
01:08:05,416 --> 01:08:07,290
To your mother!
911
01:08:07,416 --> 01:08:09,582
- And your grandmother!
- To your dog!
912
01:08:10,083 --> 01:08:12,040
- To your father!
- And your grandfather!
913
01:08:13,208 --> 01:08:15,582
To the whole family
914
01:08:46,625 --> 01:08:50,249
- Are you out of your mind?
- Sorry, but this is the best we could do
915
01:08:50,416 --> 01:08:52,165
And it wasn't easy
916
01:08:52,291 --> 01:08:56,374
We had to dig out the right sized table
and push the other tables to the side
917
01:08:56,541 --> 01:09:00,290
Well, push them more together
and bring me a decent table
918
01:09:01,125 --> 01:09:04,124
The table is not so bad, Mr... Bill
919
01:09:04,291 --> 01:09:07,749
I mean, I think it's rather...
it's rather nice
920
01:09:08,125 --> 01:09:09,457
Shut up!
921
01:09:09,583 --> 01:09:12,374
And let me remind you
that you had no reservation.
922
01:09:12,750 --> 01:09:14,290
Had no reservation...
923
01:09:14,458 --> 01:09:15,624
Listen...
924
01:09:16,250 --> 01:09:18,540
I will not sit at this table
925
01:09:21,416 --> 01:09:23,415
I'll see what I can do for you, sir
926
01:09:29,458 --> 01:09:33,374
Mr. Ambassador,
assuming you're still Ambassador,
927
01:09:33,708 --> 01:09:35,749
the situation in Russia has changed
928
01:09:36,083 --> 01:09:38,332
A new president means new possibilities
929
01:09:38,500 --> 01:09:42,040
I'd like to revise our agreement
930
01:09:42,208 --> 01:09:43,749
We all took risks,
931
01:09:44,083 --> 01:09:45,749
so let's be fair
932
01:09:46,083 --> 01:09:48,290
You might not like my line of thought
933
01:09:49,416 --> 01:09:51,124
Look at it like this
934
01:09:51,291 --> 01:09:54,415
There are three of us,
plus three bodyguards
935
01:09:54,750 --> 01:09:57,749
With all due respect to your wife,
you are alone
936
01:09:58,083 --> 01:09:59,082
Are you sure?
937
01:09:59,250 --> 01:10:01,207
Yes, I'm pretty damn sure
938
01:10:01,333 --> 01:10:03,040
I want to re-negotiate
939
01:10:03,291 --> 01:10:04,332
I'm listening
940
01:10:05,083 --> 01:10:06,457
Fifty-fifty
941
01:10:17,000 --> 01:10:19,040
Here is my offer
942
01:10:19,166 --> 01:10:21,249
You take one,
943
01:10:21,375 --> 01:10:23,624
while I'm still in a good mood
944
01:10:25,125 --> 01:10:28,749
Sooner or later,
we will slice up the Russian cake
945
01:10:29,083 --> 01:10:31,290
as usual
946
01:10:31,416 --> 01:10:33,749
And if one day we want to find you,
947
01:10:34,083 --> 01:10:36,040
we will find you, even on the tiniest...
948
01:10:36,208 --> 01:10:38,332
Hawaiian island
949
01:10:39,250 --> 01:10:41,582
- Two?
- Don't push it, my boy
950
01:10:42,583 --> 01:10:46,082
Don't push it, my patience has limits
951
01:10:46,250 --> 01:10:48,249
I was only joking
952
01:10:49,291 --> 01:10:51,332
Joking? The key
953
01:11:08,375 --> 01:11:10,040
Let me see
954
01:11:10,208 --> 01:11:11,582
Very good
955
01:11:12,250 --> 01:11:14,332
Okay, as soon as you're finished...
956
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,999
Third time today!
957
01:11:18,541 --> 01:11:21,082
Show your face, you son of a bitch!
958
01:11:31,708 --> 01:11:33,499
Here it comes!
959
01:11:34,125 --> 01:11:36,415
Caviar a go-go!
960
01:11:42,541 --> 01:11:43,582
There she is
961
01:11:43,708 --> 01:11:46,415
Darling! You look sensational!
962
01:11:46,541 --> 01:11:49,749
Stunning! Absolutely stunning!
963
01:11:50,208 --> 01:11:51,749
Where's our lucky man?
964
01:11:53,500 --> 01:11:55,165
Arthur...
965
01:11:56,083 --> 01:11:58,415
Arthur sends his apologies
966
01:11:58,541 --> 01:12:00,707
He had another sleepless night
967
01:12:01,041 --> 01:12:02,457
I know something about that
968
01:12:03,208 --> 01:12:06,749
He decided to take a short nap,
but he'll join us soon
969
01:12:07,125 --> 01:12:10,082
He wants his beauty sleep
before coming to surprise us
970
01:12:10,208 --> 01:12:12,207
Handsome as Sean Connery
971
01:12:17,125 --> 01:12:18,374
How are you?
972
01:12:19,500 --> 01:12:22,249
It's such a significant day,
973
01:12:23,041 --> 01:12:24,749
especially for you
974
01:12:26,250 --> 01:12:27,332
It's so...
975
01:12:28,416 --> 01:12:30,707
It's hard to put into words
976
01:12:32,000 --> 01:12:33,374
We were so happy...
977
01:12:34,041 --> 01:12:35,249
We are, we are...
978
01:12:35,416 --> 01:12:38,540
so happy, we always will be
979
01:12:46,041 --> 01:12:47,249
Welcome back
980
01:12:52,750 --> 01:12:57,082
What did you scarf down?
981
01:12:59,666 --> 01:13:04,165
My friends,
let's toast our new leader,
982
01:13:05,125 --> 01:13:07,374
who will take care of us
983
01:13:08,583 --> 01:13:11,582
for many, many years to come!
984
01:13:27,541 --> 01:13:28,624
What?
985
01:13:28,750 --> 01:13:32,415
I wonder if I can bring my mother!
986
01:13:33,083 --> 01:13:36,207
I can't leave her alone, I'm all she's got
987
01:13:36,333 --> 01:13:39,249
- Your mother?
- Yes, my mother
988
01:13:41,375 --> 01:13:44,124
Bring your mother, bring whoever
the hell you want, I don't care
989
01:13:44,250 --> 01:13:47,499
Really? That's so nice, Bill, I...
990
01:13:47,625 --> 01:13:49,124
She's gonna die soon
991
01:13:51,416 --> 01:13:54,082
She's 98, I think she's gonna die soon
992
01:13:55,083 --> 01:13:56,290
Great
993
01:13:57,375 --> 01:13:59,374
And she likes hot weather
994
01:14:00,416 --> 01:14:04,290
Hot weather!
I'm saying, she likes it hot
995
01:14:04,458 --> 01:14:06,499
Hot! My mama!
996
01:14:06,666 --> 01:14:09,124
Mama likes hot, so...
997
01:14:18,708 --> 01:14:22,499
I'd better go check on Arthur,
he must be awake by now
998
01:14:22,666 --> 01:14:25,540
- We're coming with you, darling
- Maybe we should all go?
999
01:14:25,666 --> 01:14:30,499
- Let's give Arthur a surprise!
- No, no, that's a very bad idea
1000
01:14:31,541 --> 01:14:35,290
You know Arthur, he'd be embarrassed
to be seen without his bowtie
1001
01:14:36,041 --> 01:14:38,624
Ok, we'll wait here patiently
1002
01:14:38,750 --> 01:14:41,082
- But hurry up, please
- We won't touch the cake
1003
01:14:41,416 --> 01:14:44,749
We'll certainly be down for the fireworks,
Arthur loves fireworks
1004
01:14:58,750 --> 01:15:01,249
I must go to the men's room, Bill
1005
01:15:05,625 --> 01:15:06,999
I really must
1006
01:15:07,166 --> 01:15:08,749
Now? What about your caviar?
1007
01:15:10,083 --> 01:15:13,249
No... I'm so sorry, Bill, I...
1008
01:15:14,500 --> 01:15:15,999
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
1009
01:15:17,583 --> 01:15:18,999
Sorry, sorry!
1010
01:15:21,416 --> 01:15:22,999
I'm so sorry, I...
1011
01:15:27,750 --> 01:15:30,040
I'm sorry, really, you...
1012
01:15:31,416 --> 01:15:32,415
Sorry
1013
01:15:35,250 --> 01:15:36,707
Sorry, I'm sorry
1014
01:15:40,291 --> 01:15:41,999
- Sorry!
- Be more careful
1015
01:15:42,125 --> 01:15:43,457
Yeah, madam, sorry
1016
01:16:07,458 --> 01:16:09,040
Oh, God!
1017
01:16:09,375 --> 01:16:11,749
What have you done, Caspar?
1018
01:16:12,541 --> 01:16:15,540
What have you done? How could you?
1019
01:16:15,666 --> 01:16:20,499
After so many years of diligence!
1020
01:16:28,416 --> 01:16:31,082
I deserve to be seeing penguins
and hearing voices...
1021
01:16:41,291 --> 01:16:43,290
Gimme a drag
1022
01:16:45,083 --> 01:16:48,540
Look at that poor baby,
he's waiting for his mommy
1023
01:16:48,708 --> 01:16:51,249
I bet he needs help
1024
01:16:53,583 --> 01:16:55,582
Hi, I'm your mommy
1025
01:16:58,458 --> 01:17:01,249
- Help yourself
- Go ahead!
1026
01:17:01,375 --> 01:17:03,499
No, I don't smoke ciggie
1027
01:17:14,416 --> 01:17:16,374
Is this marijuana?
1028
01:17:19,083 --> 01:17:21,082
I smoke marijuana!
1029
01:17:21,208 --> 01:17:23,582
I smoke marijuana!
1030
01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:28,374
I deserve this, you know?
1031
01:17:28,500 --> 01:17:31,082
Mommy gives you permission
1032
01:17:33,583 --> 01:17:35,707
My name... my name is...
1033
01:17:36,041 --> 01:17:39,374
- How cute!
- Caspar, Caspar Tel
1034
01:17:40,208 --> 01:17:43,582
- That's my name
- I'm Natasha, she's Zoijka
1035
01:17:43,750 --> 01:17:45,582
I'm the woman of your dreams
1036
01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:18,749
Fuck!
1037
01:18:20,166 --> 01:18:21,582
Oh, shit!
1038
01:18:25,708 --> 01:18:27,582
I know who you are
1039
01:18:29,083 --> 01:18:30,457
Holy shit!
1040
01:18:31,750 --> 01:18:34,499
You don't mind, do you?
You're probably used to this
1041
01:18:34,666 --> 01:18:38,082
You know what? I'm glad
I get to see that with my own two eyes
1042
01:18:38,250 --> 01:18:41,999
- I haven't really been hiding it
- It's a monster you got there, brother
1043
01:18:42,125 --> 01:18:44,624
Hey, let me ask you something, is it...
1044
01:18:45,000 --> 01:18:49,124
Is it true that... that thing is insured
for five million bucks?
1045
01:18:49,291 --> 01:18:51,457
It used to be, when it was earning
1046
01:18:51,583 --> 01:18:53,415
I wouldn't spend a penny on it now
1047
01:18:53,583 --> 01:18:56,165
You can't get wood, right?
What good is it?
1048
01:18:56,333 --> 01:18:58,249
You could always join the circus
1049
01:19:03,750 --> 01:19:07,332
- Something special, sir?
- Something very specia
1050
01:19:07,458 --> 01:19:10,165
- Want to know why?
- Sure
1051
01:19:10,333 --> 01:19:13,207
- Because I can afford it
- Because he can afford it
1052
01:19:13,375 --> 01:19:14,582
Good for you, sir
1053
01:19:22,416 --> 01:19:24,582
That one looks beautiful!
1054
01:19:25,125 --> 01:19:29,332
- I want that one, please
- Good eye, sir
1055
01:19:34,083 --> 01:19:36,582
- Do you like this?
- Yes! Yes!
1056
01:19:36,750 --> 01:19:39,040
Bollinger, 1938
1057
01:19:40,041 --> 01:19:42,249
1938
1058
01:19:42,375 --> 01:19:44,332
Our only bottle
1059
01:19:46,250 --> 01:19:48,707
One of the finest champagnes
money can buy
1060
01:19:49,083 --> 01:19:52,415
You'll never know who invited me tonight
1061
01:19:52,541 --> 01:19:55,665
I was invited by Mr. Crush himself
1062
01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:57,165
Who is that?
1063
01:19:58,000 --> 01:19:59,665
- What?
- You don't know Mr. Crush?
1064
01:20:07,750 --> 01:20:11,082
There he is, Mr. Crush! Bill!
1065
01:20:11,541 --> 01:20:13,624
- This is Mr. Crush...
- Caspar!
1066
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:16,749
- My best friend and business partner
- Where were you? Your mother's worried
1067
01:20:17,083 --> 01:20:18,624
She's looking all over for you
1068
01:20:18,750 --> 01:20:20,707
I called you a cab,
get his ass out of here
1069
01:20:21,041 --> 01:20:23,999
- Where did you get this tan? Brazil?
- It's natural
1070
01:20:24,125 --> 01:20:25,499
Dominican?
1071
01:20:25,625 --> 01:20:27,207
Natural?
1072
01:20:29,750 --> 01:20:31,457
I'll come back, Billy
1073
01:20:31,583 --> 01:20:35,332
Your guest charged this to your room,
could you sign, please?
1074
01:20:40,083 --> 01:20:41,540
12,450...
1075
01:20:43,041 --> 01:20:44,165
Is this a joke?
1076
01:20:44,333 --> 01:20:47,582
It's a unique vintage:
Bollinger Collection 1938
1077
01:20:48,083 --> 01:20:50,624
Well, take 1938
and stick it up your ass
1078
01:21:56,000 --> 01:21:59,040
I'm sure I know him from somewhere
1079
01:22:06,083 --> 01:22:07,374
Ok, c'mon
1080
01:22:38,125 --> 01:22:39,249
Oh, my God!
1081
01:22:39,750 --> 01:22:40,624
Oh, my God!
1082
01:22:41,500 --> 01:22:44,290
Oh, my God! Don't hurt him
1083
01:22:44,458 --> 01:22:46,707
Please, for the love of God!
1084
01:23:10,541 --> 01:23:13,290
My condolences, Mrs. Dallas
1085
01:23:16,541 --> 01:23:19,415
Mine as well, he was such a kind man
1086
01:23:19,541 --> 01:23:23,374
- You know what to do, Mrs. Frautschi?
- Of course, Mr. Kopf
1087
01:23:23,708 --> 01:23:26,749
Don't forget your Czechs,
their accommodation is ready
1088
01:23:27,416 --> 01:23:28,999
Oh, my God, the Czechs
1089
01:23:29,291 --> 01:23:31,249
Yes, yes
1090
01:23:44,750 --> 01:23:47,540
He would've loved watching the fireworks
1091
01:23:53,083 --> 01:23:56,207
So, finally, your accommodation is ready
1092
01:23:56,333 --> 01:23:59,082
You will have clean sheets and mattresses,
and it's warm
1093
01:23:59,250 --> 01:24:01,415
Thank you, Mr. Kopf, thank you!
1094
01:24:05,500 --> 01:24:08,207
We want to invite you to Ceské Budejovice
1095
01:24:09,000 --> 01:24:12,040
We have two rooms,
you can have one all for yourself!
1096
01:24:13,708 --> 01:24:15,082
Thank you
1097
01:24:15,666 --> 01:24:16,499
Thank you
1098
01:24:17,083 --> 01:24:20,415
- What did you do?
- We're so happy to see you again
1099
01:24:20,583 --> 01:24:22,165
Dr. Lima!
1100
01:24:22,291 --> 01:24:23,415
Look!
1101
01:24:24,041 --> 01:24:27,415
He's fixed them so much,
he can't tell them apart
1102
01:24:30,583 --> 01:24:32,415
Happy New Year!
1103
01:24:34,416 --> 01:24:37,165
Did you see
a little strange asshole come by here?
1104
01:24:37,291 --> 01:24:39,582
He had the same cone hat as you
1105
01:24:39,750 --> 01:24:42,249
He was with three
beautiful Russians models
1106
01:24:43,416 --> 01:24:45,665
Happy New Year!
1107
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:50,249
Okay, come, come, come
1108
01:24:50,416 --> 01:24:51,332
Please
1109
01:24:51,500 --> 01:24:53,582
Try that way!
1110
01:24:56,375 --> 01:24:57,624
Please, come this way
1111
01:25:17,458 --> 01:25:19,040
Mr. Crush!
1112
01:25:19,750 --> 01:25:22,082
He fainted with emotion!
1113
01:25:25,000 --> 01:25:27,082
Oh, shit, it's a heart attack!
1114
01:25:29,250 --> 01:25:30,624
Tonino, Tonino!
1115
01:25:31,666 --> 01:25:33,749
Olivia! Olivia, can you hear me?
1116
01:25:44,041 --> 01:25:46,457
Try mouth-to-mouth,
I'll call an ambulance right away
1117
01:25:46,583 --> 01:25:49,249
- Mouth-to-mouth?
- Yes, yes, do it!
1118
01:25:54,750 --> 01:25:56,082
Sorry!
1119
01:25:57,666 --> 01:25:59,582
Sorry, sorry, sorry
1120
01:26:01,666 --> 01:26:03,082
Sorry!
1121
01:26:04,333 --> 01:26:05,290
Ten!
1122
01:26:05,416 --> 01:26:06,457
Nine!
1123
01:26:06,625 --> 01:26:08,040
Eight!
1124
01:26:08,166 --> 01:26:09,415
Seven!
1125
01:26:09,541 --> 01:26:11,082
Six!
1126
01:26:11,250 --> 01:26:12,249
Five!
1127
01:26:12,416 --> 01:26:14,165
Four, three!
1128
01:26:14,333 --> 01:26:16,207
Two, one...
1129
01:26:16,333 --> 01:26:18,665
Happy New Year!
1130
01:26:24,583 --> 01:26:26,249
- Happy New Year!
- Happy New Year
1131
01:26:31,125 --> 01:26:32,582
Happy New Year!
1132
01:26:35,083 --> 01:26:36,207
Happy New Year!
1133
01:26:36,333 --> 01:26:38,499
Happy New Year!
1134
01:27:20,208 --> 01:27:21,165
Tonino!
1135
01:27:28,250 --> 01:27:30,165
- Yes, boss?
- Now!
1136
01:27:34,458 --> 01:27:37,124
- Y2K!
- It's really happening
1137
01:27:37,291 --> 01:27:40,082
Nostradamus was right,
this is the end of the world!
1138
01:27:41,750 --> 01:27:43,374
Oh, my God, it's happening!
1139
01:27:43,541 --> 01:27:47,082
What's happening? Look around, nothing's
happening, they do this every year
1140
01:27:47,250 --> 01:27:50,082
Everything is gonna be fine,
it's gonna be okay
1141
01:28:33,000 --> 01:28:35,582
Arthur, honeycakes!
1142
01:28:36,708 --> 01:28:39,124
Happy New Year!
1143
01:28:42,750 --> 01:28:45,165
We survived Y2K!
1144
01:28:46,500 --> 01:28:48,415
Didn't I tell you it was only a hoax?
1145
01:28:48,583 --> 01:28:53,207
Happy New Year, Amanda,
Arthur's really exhausted
1146
01:28:53,375 --> 01:28:55,124
Well, of course
1147
01:28:57,458 --> 01:28:59,374
Can you believe that?
1148
01:28:59,500 --> 01:29:01,749
Fucking broken-down old snob!
1149
01:29:02,083 --> 01:29:06,249
I gave him his first decent blowjob
and he doesn't even look at me
1150
01:29:09,291 --> 01:29:12,457
My God, what money does to people!
1151
01:29:37,583 --> 01:29:39,457
Tonino, switch back on
1152
01:29:57,208 --> 01:29:58,749
Will Grandpa go to heaven?
1153
01:29:59,083 --> 01:30:01,082
Or to hell?
1154
01:30:01,750 --> 01:30:03,540
I don't know, girls
1155
01:30:14,250 --> 01:30:15,582
Help yourself
1156
01:30:18,583 --> 01:30:20,165
Just one
1157
01:30:25,333 --> 01:30:29,165
Listen, don't drink it all at once
1158
01:30:30,000 --> 01:30:32,707
Happy New Year, Mr. Ambassador
1159
01:30:33,041 --> 01:30:36,624
Same to you, Happy New Year!
1160
01:30:43,583 --> 01:30:46,582
Close that fucking door!
What are you doing?
1161
01:31:20,375 --> 01:31:22,415
Shit!
1162
01:31:45,083 --> 01:31:46,582
Happy New Year, Mr. Kopf
1163
01:31:47,250 --> 01:31:48,457
Happy New Year
1164
01:31:52,541 --> 01:31:55,749
Do you have a spare key for the safe?
1165
01:31:56,750 --> 01:31:58,082
I already gave you the key
1166
01:31:58,250 --> 01:32:00,999
Yes, but do you have a spare?
1167
01:32:01,166 --> 01:32:03,124
No, there is no spare
1168
01:32:04,666 --> 01:32:07,749
Then you have a problem, Mr. Kopf,
because our Ambassador
1169
01:32:08,083 --> 01:32:10,207
is locked inside your safe
1170
01:32:11,250 --> 01:32:13,082
I have a problem?
1171
01:32:14,750 --> 01:32:16,665
You have a problem, huh?
1172
01:32:20,333 --> 01:32:23,040
Maybe? Maybe
1173
01:32:24,250 --> 01:32:25,290
Happy New Year
1174
01:32:26,333 --> 01:32:27,665
Happy New Year
1175
01:32:29,750 --> 01:32:31,124
Fuck
1176
01:33:26,250 --> 01:33:28,415
I came to repair drain
1177
01:34:03,166 --> 01:34:04,540
Thank you so much
1178
01:34:05,208 --> 01:34:07,124
That was...
1179
01:34:07,250 --> 01:34:11,207
the best New Year's party I've ever had
1180
01:34:17,291 --> 01:34:18,665
- Have a great evening
- Yeah
1181
01:34:19,000 --> 01:34:19,749
Happy New Year
1182
01:40:46,000 --> 01:40:49,290
Subtitles:
Laser S. Film s.r.I. - Rome
79899
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