All language subtitles for Sabrina.The.Teenage.Witch.S01E22.The.Great.Mistake.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-squalor_track3_[eng]

Now, remember to look
your parole officer in the eye.

Right. I don't want to be a cat

for the next 75 years.

You'll do fine.

We're all pulling for you.

That helps.

How's my breath?

Fresh but not mediciney.

You'd better go. You
don't want to be late.

Wish me luck.

All: Good luck!

It's nice to see
you again, Salem.

It's nice to see you, mr. Grey.

And may I say
you're looking trim.

Have you lost weight?

Don't push it.

Okay, I've been
reviewing your file

and I'm pleased
with your progress.

Enjoying your life as a cat?

Yes.

Urinary tract problems?

No.

Giving back to the community?

Yes.

Gotten any strays in trouble?

No.

Still want to take
over the world?

Yes... wait. No, I meant no. No!

[ Crying]

How did it go?

Don't ask.

Which way to swan lake?

What do you think, Salem? Does
this look like a cross-section of a cell?

It looks like you cut a
styrofoam ball in half

and painted on it.

I did, but... what do you
know about biology anyway?

[ Doorbell rings]

I'll get it!

Afternoon, miss.

You the lady of the house?

I'm one of them. Can I help you?

The question is, can I help you?

Allow me to introduce myself

I'm Linus j. Skeezics,
quality witchware.

You're selling
something aren't you?

Only the finest and most
enchating, enchanted items

you'll find in any realm.

Might I interest you

in some snake oil?

What does it do?

What do you want it to do?

I'm just kidding of course.

It's guaranteed

to keep your
snakes slick, slippery

and completely squeak-free.

Sorry. We don't have
any squeaky snakes.

Perhaps you'd like the
encyclopedia micronica.

Well, it's kind of hard to read.

That's why I also
sell gigantoglasses.

Here. Put them on.

Every word is six feet tall.

Wow. That's a big "m."

Sabrina, who's at the closet?

It's a salesman.

Why, who is this lovely lady?

I bet you have to beat
them off with a stick.

And I have just
the thing for that...

The amaze-o-stick!

We're not interested.

Well, then how
about a tomorrow ball?

Ask it any question,
see you tomorrow today.

Hey, I could really use that.

No, thank you.

We don't need
your tomorrow balls

or your amaze-o-sticks

or any of your
other fine products.

Now, good-bye.

90 years, same as cash.

What did you do that for?

Sabrina, don't be taken in
by those cheap magic tricks.

They never work.

But he made that
ball sound so cool.

The best way to see tomorrow
is by going to bed tonight.

But I can't unitl I finish
my biology project.

Then I suggest you work on that.

How much for the tomorrow ball?

500 coin of the realm
or three bucks American.

Deal.

Pleasure doing
business with you.

There's one in every house.

What have you got there?

A tomorrow ball.

Let's see if it works.

Tomorrow ball, what grade
will I get on my project?

"A-minus."

"A-minus"? Good enough.

But why is Mr. Pool

wearing a catholic
schoolgirl's uniform?

Ha.

I have seen the future,
but I don't understand it.

Hey, Sabrina.

Hey.

What's that?

My science project.

Oops.

What's that suppose to mean?

My books are slipping.

Check it out. I got the tickets.

Smashing pumpkins tonight.

Our lives are 12 hours
from being perfect.

Did you hook me up?

You know it.

Harvey, I thought your
parents said no more concerts

after the metallica incident.

Yeah, they think they're
forcing me to stay in

but really they're just
forcing me to sneak out.

You're going to sneak
out? What if you get caught?

They'll ground me.

But it's okay.

I don't have anything
to do nextweekend.

[ Wolf whistle]

Hey, Mr. Pool's got legs.

Now I understand.

You do?

Then explain it to me.

Thank you for your projects.

Now, I'm sure you're all
curious about my duds.

It's Scottish pride day.

Now, have ye any
questions about Scotland?

Okay, then back to science.

I have a question.

Yes?

Who are some famous scotsmen?

Ah! Well, there's,
uh, William Wallace.

You know him as Mel Gibson.

Mary, queen of Scots.

No big surprise there.

And Dr. Ian wilmut,

the guy that cloned the sheep.

Any other questions?

Can you do one of those jigs?

A jig?

Please, that's a
silly Irish dance.

We Scots do the highland fling.

What's going on here?

The principal.

I thought this was
a science class?

It's Scottish, uh, pride day.

I don't care if it's dress
like your aunt Sally day.

This is inappropriate
behavior for a biology teacher.

I want you in my
office after school.

And no more dancing.

Yes, sir.

Hey, kids, nice to see you.

Look, I'm French

but do you see me wearing a
beret and dancing the can can?

No.

That's right. I'll
see you tomorrow.

And put on some slacks.

Don't worry, Mr. Pool.

I like your purse.

It's a sporran.

Do you have a minute?

I need to talk to you.

Have a seat.

It's about your cell project.

Let me guess. "A-minus," right?

I know I could have knocked
myself out and gone for an "a," but...

You got a "c."

What?

This is not the kind of work

I'm used to seeing from you.

You left out the mitochondria.

It's the powerhouse of the cell.

I didn't mean to.

I don't believe this.

You know, tomorrow
looked a lot better yesterday.

Try it again.

Take the weekend and do it over.

Thank you, Mr. Pool.

I totally, completely,
really, really appreciate this.

Zelda: Balls, balls...

Hilda: What's going on?

It sounds really interesting.

Oh, that's all?

Can't find my tennis racket.

Have you seen it?

No, but you can borrow mine

if you promise to give it back.

I will.

I keep it in the piano bench.

Here.

Thanks.

Wait.

This is mytennis racket.

No, it's not.

Then why is there a "z" on it?

'Cause I once
lost a set to Zorro?

I am sick of this. For centuries,
you've been taking my things

and you never return them.

What haven't I returned?

Let's see.

"Crossbow, juggling
clubs, ming candy dish..."

You kept a list?

Since 1542.

Let me see that.

"Shepherd's crook...

Cotton gin..."

I have no idea where
any of this stuff is.

Well, I suggest you find it
because I want it all back.

How many centuries

can you go on
being irresponsible

and inconsiderate?

You are lucky Sabrina's home.

I thought magic was
supposed to make my life easier.

What happened?

The tomorrow's
ball a big, fat liar.

You bought a tomorrow ball?

I warned you about those.

Yeah, yeah, you're
always warning me.

Anyway, it told me

I was going to get an
"a-minus" on my science project.

And what did you get?

A "c."

Sabrina!

But don't panic, Mr. Pool
gave me another chance

so I'll work on it
all day tomorrow.

What's wrong with right now?

I have to get ready

for the smashing
pumpkins concert.

What?

You're not going to a concert.

You showed poor judgment
in trusting that tomorrow ball.

That was a major mistake.

But I told you all about it.

Don't I get points for that?

Yes, which is why
we're grounding you

for just one weekend.

I don't believe this.

I'm missing the
smashing pumpkins.

Bummer t. Jones III.

It's not fair.

I was set up by a novelty item.

Lousy cheap magic oracle
piece of enchanted garbage.

The vacuum cleaner.

The flying vacuum cleaner.

[ Sniffs]

Is that a plan I smell?

Maybe. I mean, what's worse,
sneaking out of the house

or letting row double
"j," seat 126 go to waste?

I think we both know
the answer to that.

I'll be downstairs

creating a distraction.

Set it on "whisper."

Okay.

I've got my ticket.

I'll take my chances.

No risk, no rock.

Whoo-hoo!

Billy corgan, here I come!

Pull your vehicle over.

Oh, no.

I said pull your vehicle over.

What do I do?

Oh, I'm in so much trouble.

Does this belong to you?

Sabrina, what's going on?

I caught her over brookline

flying with a full bag
and trailing a lot of dust.

That warrants an
emissions citation.

But when I attempted to
pull her over, she took off.

I was looking
for a well-lit area.

We thought you were upstairs
doing your science homework.

I was...

Until I wasn't.

Well, I'll let you go
with a warning this time.

But be careful.

There's a lot of sad stories
out there in the dark night sky.

Consider me warned.

Thank you, officer.

Good night, and fly safe.

Hi.

Sabrina, I think you
owe us an explanation.

What were you thinking?

I don't know.

I feel so...

Low.

What's happening?

What are you doing?

It's not us.

You're small because
you feel small.

How do I get big again?

You won't until you feel
better about yourself.

Now, why don't you go to your room
and think about what you've done.

Okay, but could you help me?

It'll take me days
to get up the stairs.

Gentle, aunt Zelda.

There you go. Right next
to your science project.

I'm really sorry
about what I did.

We know.

We'll discuss it later.

What a huge mistake.

[ Blowing]

Sabrina, can we come in?

Oh, no, she's gone again!

No, I'm not.

I'm on the bed.

Oh. How did you get over here?

Salem carried me in his mouth.

It took all my
self-control not to eat her.

You're still small.

We thought you'd be
feeling bigger by now.

No. I think I'm going
to be six inches tall

for the rest of my life.

You know, it's not a good idea

to go to bed tiny.

But I really messed up.

The important thing is that

you learn from your mistakes.

We all make them.

Except Zelda... she's perfect.

Even imake mistakes...

Although it's been a while.

Hey, maybe you guys could tell
me about some of yourmess-ups.

It might make me feel better.

Ooh, ooh, me first.

Let me tell you how I
went from man to cat

in one dumb move.

Our first plan of attack

is to take Madagascar!

All: Yeah!

It works in risk,
it'll work for us.

Cream and sugar?

Can we focus?

Sorry.

Follow me...

And I promise

I will be the most
benevolent dictator

the world has ever seen.

Did I say "dictator"?

I meant "leader."

All: Ah.

The time is now!

Witch power.

All: Witch power,
witch power, witch...

Hilda: Oh, no!

The witch fuzz! We're busted!

Party's over, Salem.

You're under
arrest for conspiracy

to dominate the world.

But we're a non-profit
organization.

We meet to discuss
new ways of thinking.

[ Sobbing]

And so, I was sentenced

to 100 years... behind whiskers.

At least you have a nice home.

Rent-free, I might add.

So, how did you guys
end up with Salem?

That's hilda's fault...

I mean, story.

Forgive me. I was
young and idealistic

and I thought Salem
might actually pull it off.

You were one of his followers?

Yes. I was on the
refreshment committee.

So, they turned Salem into a
cat but how were youpunished?

I have to keep him
worm-free for a century.

Whoa. You know what
just dawned on me?

You guys had lives
before igot here.

This is amazing.

We've a lot of
catching up to do.

So, were you ever kids?

Yes.

Although it was back
in the 14th century.

There were no phones, no tvs...

Things were very...

Different.

Behold the abacus.

Behold the blabacus.

Quiet!

Why are we doing this?

To enlighten the masses.

The abacus is a
modern instrument

for performing
arithmetic calculations

developed by the
greatest scientific minds...

Cut it out!

I wasn't doing anything.

You always go for
the cheap laugh.

I do not!

I'm sick of your pathetic
attempts to get attention!

Now can I get back boo-hoo,
the to the abacus?! Black plague!

Each lower bead equals one.

Each upper bead equals five.

Can I see that?

My abacus!

No, it's mine! It's mine!

She always takes my stuff!

In retrospect, things
weren't really different at all.

Where is the list?

I want to put "abacus" on it.

This is so much fun.

Tell me more.

Have you always been a
musician and a scientist?

No. I bounced from
job to job for centuries.

It took me a while to figure out

what I wanted to do, too.

So, what was the
worst job you ever had?

Hard to say.

Blacksmith, donkey Walker...

Oh, I'd have to go with...

Deep-sea fisherman.

Halibut ho!

Hard to starboard!

The other starboard, kelp-head!

It was awful.

Chapped lips, salt water...

Bad combination.

It's your turn, aunt Zelda.

What was your worst job?

I think it was back
when I lived in wales

and I tried my hand at...

Coal mining.

Ha, I told you, if we
went deep enough

we'd find a seam, gwynnik.

How you doing, chirpy?

Canary's dead! Chirpy?!

Let's get out of here!

Oh, push, arfon! Push!

I still can't get my
fingernails clean.

But Zelda, I thought you
said your worst job was...

Let's not bring that up.

Yes, let's, please,
let's! What did you do?

It was the one time hilda
and I worked together.

The west was still wild

and there were only
two ways to make money:

Law enforcement...

And show biz.

Come on, baby!

[ Audience cheering]

Come on! Come on!

Thank you, thank you for that
warm-buzzard-gulch welcome.

[ Glass breaking]

Enough patter.

Our first number is one
of our favorite songs...

And we hope you like it, too.

♪ Oh, I come from Alabama
with a banjo on my knee ♪

♪ oh, I'm goin' to Louisiana,
my true love for to see ♪

♪ oh, Susanna

♪ oh, don't you cry for me...

They hate us!

We made two bits that night.

And then they
ran us out of town.

Fortunately, we figured out

the secret to
financial security.

What secret?

Should we let her in on it?

The secret is... junk.

Hold on to anything long
enough, it'll become valuable.

We sold our old pewter
dishes to the Smithsonian

for an obscene amount of money.

You know what's going
to keep us in cruises

during our golden years?

Plaid thermoses
in mint condition.

Okay, we've covered jobs, money.

Now let's get to the good stuff:

Your love lives.

All right.

But first, Salem, out.

Fine. I'll leave
you girls alone.

I have to use the box anyway.

Okay, so, how old were you
when you had your first kiss?

Sixteen.

Forty-eight.

Have either of you
ever been married?

Sabrina, that might
not be the best.

It's all right.

I can talk about it.

As you know, I was
engaged to drell.

The wedding was all planned.

I had the acropolis, a maid
of honor, a fantastic caterer...

The only thing I
didn't have was...

Drell.

He's five minutes late.

He'll be here.

He's an hour late.

He'll be here.

It's getting cold.

All right. Let's go.

Hilda, I'm sorry.

Don't be. I'm fine.

So that'swhy it's in ruins.

Fortunately, history
has blamed the Turks.

And how about you, aunt Zelda?

Have you ever been married?

Never. She's too picky.

Actually...

I have.

What?! When?!

Why didn't I know about this?

I don't tell you everything.

Tell me. Tell me.

Well, I was living in Florence
during the renaissance, and I...

Met a guy...

Benvolio?

In the flesh.

What are you doing here?

I cannot stay away
from thee, Zelda.

Oh, I missed thee, too.

But what if someone sees us?

My father does
not like thee much.

Is he near?

Nay, he tarries
at the bearbaiting.

Oddsbodkins, I'm in luck.

I wrote a song for thee.

Shall I strum?

Prithee.

♪ Alas, my love,
you do me wrong ♪

♪ to cast me out
discourteously ♪

♪ when I have
lov-ed you so long ♪

♪ delighting in your company ♪

♪ greensleeves is all my joy

♪ and who but my
lady greensleeves. ♪

Work in progress.

Benvolio, I love it.

Well, you wore green
sleeves yesterday.

It's beautiful.

All beauty pales in your wake.

Marry me.

Oh, thou playest me like a lute.

Yea, I will marry you.

Huzzah!

Come, I know a chapel

in a field of myrrh.

They're open all night.

This is crazy.

It lasted three days.

Musicians.

I can't believe you never
told me about benvolio.

It wasn't that big a deal.

Not a big deal?

It means you made a mistake.

You're not perfect.

This is the greatest
night of my life.

I'll get the camera.

Maybe we should let
Sabrina get some sleep.

No! I want to ask
more questions.

All right. Onemore.

Okay, it should be important.

Did you guys ever
make your own sausage?

No, wait. I can do better.

How did you guys decide
to let me come live with you?

Oh, that was an easy decision.

See, we knew you'd be
coming into your powers soon...

And with your mother in Peru

and your father in a book

we thought the best place
for you would be here.

I can't believe Sabrina
arrives in two weeks.

I know. I spent the whole
second act thinking about it.

Good evening, sylvio.

Thanks.

I mean, as strange as it seems

we may be the closest thing
she has to a normal home.

True, we're witches...

But we're suburban witches.

I just hope we're not
getting in over our heads.

Sabrina spent the last
five summers with us.

What if we make a
mistake and ruin her life?

We won't.

Derrick...

I'll have my massager later.

Yay, caviar!

My favorite.

Now, you do realize
once Sabrina's here

we'll have to make
a few changes.

Like what?

No more late nights on the town

no more weekends in Tuscany...

No more formula one racing?

Too risky.

Hey, we can turn
the second floor disco

into her bedroom.

Don't pout, Lance.

Which reminds me, there's
something else we'll have to give up.

You mean...?

I'm afraid so.

Sylvio...

Lance...

Derrick...

We need to talk.

But, but... but why
did you get rid of them?

We thought servants
might spoil you.

We wanted to teach
you responsibility.

And to respect men.

But you gave up so much.

It seems like taking me in

was the biggest mistake
you've ever made.

Don't say that.

We love having you live with us.

And we have never
regretted it for one moment.

Really?

Hey, I feel something bubbling.

Stand back.

[ Screaming]: Whoa!

Hey, I'm normal-size again.

Is that it?

I could have sworn
you were taller.

I'm glad you're feeling bigger.

Me, too. And I appreciate

you guys telling
me all those stories

about all the weird
stuff you've done.

It made me realize
how lucky I am

to live with such cool aunts.

Thanks for everything.

Am I still grounded?

Yes. Yes.

I knew that.

Surprise!

What's the occasion?

I'm celebrating you.

Our talk made me realize

we've been through
a lot together

and I wanted you to have this.

How sweet.

[ Gasps]

My abacus!

I found it in my sock drawer.

Oh, thanks for returning it.

Wait. It's broken.

I was eight and mad at you.

Now I can't use it.

You have a computer.

Only you would give me a gift

that belonged to me.

In the first place.

Can I see that?

My abacus!

It's mine! It's mine!

She always takes my stuff!