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1
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[ Trilling shout]
2
00:00:07,068 --> 00:00:08,482
Yep. This is where I live.
3
00:00:08,517 --> 00:00:10,620
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!
4
00:00:10,655 --> 00:00:11,482
Hey.
5
00:00:11,517 --> 00:00:12,827
Sabrina. You're home.
6
00:00:12,862 --> 00:00:15,379
Just in time for our
cinco De mayocelebration.
7
00:00:15,413 --> 00:00:17,965
Cinco De Mayo? It
was just El new year's.
8
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,206
We know, but while
the rest of new england
9
00:00:20,241 --> 00:00:21,793
is complaining about the weather
10
00:00:21,827 --> 00:00:23,034
we are turning up the heat
11
00:00:23,068 --> 00:00:26,241
with a little "south
of the border" fiesta.
12
00:00:26,275 --> 00:00:27,448
Crispy flauta?
13
00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,034
No. Gracias.
14
00:00:29,068 --> 00:00:30,206
You guys are weird.
15
00:00:30,241 --> 00:00:32,206
Well, excuse us for having fun.
16
00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,034
We were going to
ask you to join us...
17
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,000
But if you're uptight...
18
00:00:35,034 --> 00:00:37,034
Don't say that.
There's nothing worse
19
00:00:37,068 --> 00:00:38,827
than when your
parents call you "uptight."
20
00:00:38,862 --> 00:00:41,517
Come on, loosen up.
21
00:00:41,551 --> 00:00:42,551
You know you want to wear
22
00:00:42,586 --> 00:00:44,310
a sombrero.
23
00:00:45,344 --> 00:00:47,689
Now try an "ole."
24
00:00:48,586 --> 00:00:50,310
Ole.
25
00:00:50,344 --> 00:00:51,758
Hey, that was sort of fun.
26
00:00:51,793 --> 00:00:53,413
All right, I'm in.
27
00:00:53,448 --> 00:00:54,620
Where's the salsa?
28
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,724
Over here, but
it's kind of spicy.
29
00:00:56,758 --> 00:00:58,586
I think I can handle it, cat.
30
00:01:00,172 --> 00:01:01,206
[ Screaming]
31
00:01:01,241 --> 00:01:03,758
Hot, hot, hot, hot!
32
00:01:03,793 --> 00:01:05,517
Feels warmer in here already.
33
00:01:23,689 --> 00:01:27,000
We'll be back in... mintues
34
00:01:29,034 --> 00:01:34,137
so, "r" = 7 + 11
over 2, or... 9.
35
00:01:34,172 --> 00:01:35,482
[ Teacher sneezes]
36
00:01:35,517 --> 00:01:40,448
And "r" = 7 - 11 over 2, or -2.
37
00:01:40,482 --> 00:01:41,620
[ Sneezes]
38
00:01:41,655 --> 00:01:42,517
That's it.
39
00:01:42,551 --> 00:01:44,482
I've reached my
chalk limit for the day.
40
00:01:46,931 --> 00:01:47,827
What is it, Sabrina?
41
00:01:47,862 --> 00:01:48,758
I have a question.
42
00:01:48,793 --> 00:01:49,655
I know that.
43
00:01:49,689 --> 00:01:51,655
That's why I said
"what is it, Sabrina?"
44
00:01:51,689 --> 00:01:53,448
Well, in that problem, the roots
45
00:01:53,482 --> 00:01:54,493
turn out to be round numbers.
46
00:01:54,517 --> 00:01:56,655
But what if the roots
turn out to be irrational?
47
00:01:56,689 --> 00:01:59,724
Irrational? You mean,
like teenage girls?
48
00:01:59,758 --> 00:02:00,620
Just express
49
00:02:00,655 --> 00:02:02,724
those roots in radical form.
50
00:02:02,758 --> 00:02:04,379
You mean, as a fraction?
51
00:02:04,413 --> 00:02:05,793
Didn't you read the textbook?
52
00:02:05,827 --> 00:02:07,079
Yeah, but it's
kind of confusing.
53
00:02:07,103 --> 00:02:09,758
Well, let's find out who's
confused and who isn't
54
00:02:09,793 --> 00:02:11,620
by having a little
test tomorrow.
55
00:02:11,655 --> 00:02:13,413
[ All groaning]
56
00:02:13,448 --> 00:02:15,586
And you can all
thank Sabrina for it.
57
00:02:17,068 --> 00:02:18,793
I was just trying to learn.
58
00:02:21,758 --> 00:02:22,275
Hello.
59
00:02:22,310 --> 00:02:23,103
Is Salem there?
60
00:02:23,137 --> 00:02:23,862
Speaking.
61
00:02:23,896 --> 00:02:24,862
It's shelley.
62
00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,000
Shelley?!
63
00:02:26,034 --> 00:02:27,655
Zelda, you'll never
guess who called.
64
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:29,413
I'll give you a hint: Shelley.
65
00:02:29,448 --> 00:02:31,586
Shelley? Your ex-girlfriend?
66
00:02:31,620 --> 00:02:32,551
The one who left you?
67
00:02:32,586 --> 00:02:33,655
She didn't leave me.
68
00:02:33,689 --> 00:02:34,827
She just needed some time
69
00:02:34,862 --> 00:02:35,862
by herself.
70
00:02:35,896 --> 00:02:37,034
Two decades?
71
00:02:37,068 --> 00:02:39,172
Three, but... I repeat, but...
72
00:02:39,206 --> 00:02:40,103
From the sound of her voice
73
00:02:40,137 --> 00:02:42,517
I'd say she has crawling
back on her mind.
74
00:02:42,551 --> 00:02:46,620
I see. Did you happen to
mention that you're a cat now?
75
00:02:46,655 --> 00:02:48,034
Is it that noticeable?
76
00:02:49,379 --> 00:02:50,586
Oh, not again.
77
00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:53,275
Hilda! Stop that!
78
00:02:53,310 --> 00:02:54,931
It wasn't me.
79
00:02:57,724 --> 00:02:58,655
Sabrina?
80
00:02:58,689 --> 00:02:59,758
What's wrong?
81
00:02:59,793 --> 00:03:01,965
Mr. Rothwell is giving us
a huge math test tomorrow.
82
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:05,275
So now I have to go memorize
formulas, like "x" = why me?
83
00:03:06,448 --> 00:03:08,586
You watch that
finger, young lady.
84
00:03:10,068 --> 00:03:15,000
-B + or - the square root of
"b" squared - 4ac over 2A.
85
00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:19,241
♪ Shake your whammy
Fanny, funky song, funky song ♪
86
00:03:19,275 --> 00:03:20,241
♪ shake your wham...
87
00:03:20,275 --> 00:03:21,655
Harvey!
88
00:03:21,689 --> 00:03:22,896
What?
89
00:03:22,931 --> 00:03:24,803
You're singing the "funky
song". Now, it's going to be stuck
90
00:03:24,827 --> 00:03:26,079
in my head during
the whole test.
91
00:03:26,103 --> 00:03:28,448
Sorry. I didn't even
know I was doing it.
92
00:03:28,482 --> 00:03:30,517
Well, I'm really nervous,
so please don't sing.
93
00:03:30,551 --> 00:03:32,034
Okay.
94
00:03:32,068 --> 00:03:34,000
-B + or -
95
00:03:34,034 --> 00:03:35,965
the square root of "b"...
96
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,551
I hearyou thinking it.
97
00:03:37,586 --> 00:03:38,586
I can't thinkit?
98
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,310
Not while I'm studying.
99
00:03:40,344 --> 00:03:41,689
Can I at least
finish this verse?
100
00:03:41,724 --> 00:03:43,034
Yeah, but hurry.
101
00:03:43,068 --> 00:03:47,689
[ No audio]
102
00:03:47,724 --> 00:03:49,724
Okay. Done. Good.
103
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:50,482
[ Sighs]
104
00:03:50,517 --> 00:03:53,103
-B + or - the square root of...
105
00:03:53,137 --> 00:03:54,344
I hate rothwell.
106
00:03:54,379 --> 00:03:56,724
Look, Sabrina,
you know this stuff.
107
00:03:56,758 --> 00:03:57,793
You know you know it.
108
00:03:57,827 --> 00:03:59,241
You just have to relax.
109
00:03:59,275 --> 00:04:00,551
I can't. Do you see this?
110
00:04:00,586 --> 00:04:02,965
This is me freaking out.
111
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:05,103
Okay, now please,
can I just study?
112
00:04:05,137 --> 00:04:07,448
I promise I won't make a noise.
113
00:04:14,068 --> 00:04:15,896
You can turn the page.
114
00:04:18,344 --> 00:04:19,793
Gordie, hurry.
115
00:04:19,827 --> 00:04:22,206
Wait. How do I find
the slope of a line?
116
00:04:22,241 --> 00:04:24,379
Oh, that's easy. You just...
117
00:04:24,413 --> 00:04:25,482
I lost it.
118
00:04:25,517 --> 00:04:26,379
The slope slipped!
119
00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:28,034
If only we had more time.
120
00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:33,896
Much better.
121
00:04:37,896 --> 00:04:41,034
M = ...Dah, da-da,
da-da, da-da...
122
00:04:41,068 --> 00:04:42,068
I knew that.
123
00:04:46,206 --> 00:04:48,344
♪ Shake your whammy Fanny
124
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:54,034
okay, it's "m" =
"y" sub 2 - "y" sub 1
125
00:04:54,068 --> 00:04:55,965
over "x" sub 2 - "x" sub 1.
126
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:56,931
You saved my life.
127
00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:58,241
Thank me later. Right now, move!
128
00:04:58,275 --> 00:04:59,586
Move, move, move!
129
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:04,586
Five... four... Three... two...
130
00:05:04,620 --> 00:05:05,724
"F"!
131
00:05:05,758 --> 00:05:06,793
Poor Emma.
132
00:05:06,827 --> 00:05:07,838
I think she stopped to help
133
00:05:07,862 --> 00:05:09,586
that girl in the wheelchair.
134
00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:11,620
[ Speaking in falsetto]:
Too late. Bye-bye.
135
00:05:13,034 --> 00:05:13,482
All right
136
00:05:13,517 --> 00:05:15,034
let's get started.
137
00:05:15,068 --> 00:05:17,241
The test consists
of fifteen questions
138
00:05:17,275 --> 00:05:19,586
for a possible 100 points.
139
00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:21,034
The first five are
worth nine points
140
00:05:21,068 --> 00:05:22,206
next five eight points.
141
00:05:22,241 --> 00:05:24,379
The last five are
three-pointers.
142
00:05:24,413 --> 00:05:25,413
You may begin.
143
00:05:31,724 --> 00:05:32,724
What was that?
144
00:05:32,758 --> 00:05:34,241
I dropped my pencil.
145
00:05:34,275 --> 00:05:35,769
Oh, please. I know
what's going on here.
146
00:05:35,793 --> 00:05:37,769
You're leaning over to
look at your neighbor's test.
147
00:05:37,793 --> 00:05:38,655
No, I...
148
00:05:38,689 --> 00:05:40,448
That's it, come sit at my desk.
149
00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,310
You'll take the test there.
150
00:05:42,344 --> 00:05:44,793
Then I won't have to
worry about you cheating.
151
00:05:44,827 --> 00:05:46,965
But I've never cheated
on a test in my life.
152
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,689
Then there should be no problem.
153
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:55,689
Ok get to work...
- B + or -...
154
00:05:55,724 --> 00:05:57,758
[ Harvey's voice]: ♪
funky song, funky song... ♪
155
00:05:57,793 --> 00:06:01,172
Harvey! Why did I
study with Harvey?
156
00:06:01,206 --> 00:06:03,137
Because he's cute.
157
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:04,931
I wonder if we'll get married.
158
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,034
No, no, pay attention.
159
00:06:07,068 --> 00:06:09,241
-B + or -...
160
00:06:09,275 --> 00:06:11,724
I hate rothwell,
I hate rothwell.
161
00:06:13,068 --> 00:06:14,103
Oh, no.
162
00:06:14,137 --> 00:06:15,655
Can he hear me think?
163
00:06:15,689 --> 00:06:17,413
I've got to relax.
164
00:06:17,448 --> 00:06:19,586
Can't tense up.
165
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,379
[ Loud scratching]
166
00:06:23,241 --> 00:06:26,137
Why is everyone writing so loud?
167
00:06:26,172 --> 00:06:28,034
Why did Napoleon
want to rule by himself?
168
00:06:28,068 --> 00:06:30,379
No, math. Stick to math.
169
00:06:34,172 --> 00:06:35,344
You know this stuff.
170
00:06:35,379 --> 00:06:37,068
You can do this.
171
00:06:37,103 --> 00:06:38,448
-B...
172
00:06:40,068 --> 00:06:40,551
What?
173
00:06:40,586 --> 00:06:41,551
Pencils down.
174
00:06:41,586 --> 00:06:42,724
Time's up.
175
00:06:44,827 --> 00:06:46,448
"Then add one macadamia nut
176
00:06:46,482 --> 00:06:49,000
and he will have
an expanding butt."
177
00:06:50,379 --> 00:06:51,517
Hilda: What's going on?!
178
00:06:51,551 --> 00:06:53,413
I heard an explosion.
179
00:06:53,448 --> 00:06:55,689
Oh. You're just making soup.
180
00:06:55,724 --> 00:06:58,413
No, I'm stirring up a little
revenge for Mr. Rothwell.
181
00:06:58,448 --> 00:06:59,586
What happened?
182
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:00,758
It was so humiliating.
183
00:07:00,793 --> 00:07:02,838
He made me take the test
in front of the whole class.
184
00:07:02,862 --> 00:07:04,620
Like some sort of zoo monkey?
185
00:07:04,655 --> 00:07:06,896
Yeah. Koko hate teacher man.
186
00:07:06,931 --> 00:07:08,206
Anyway, I know I flunked
187
00:07:08,241 --> 00:07:10,034
so I'm giving him
an expanding butt
188
00:07:10,068 --> 00:07:12,241
until I can find the
perfect revenge spell.
189
00:07:12,275 --> 00:07:14,758
Well, you know,
nothing says "payback"
190
00:07:14,793 --> 00:07:17,206
like "just desserts."
191
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:19,827
"It's the spell that guarantees
he'll get what's coming to him."
192
00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:22,000
But it's only to be
used as a last resort.
193
00:07:22,034 --> 00:07:24,551
You might want to try to deal
with him the mortal way first.
194
00:07:24,586 --> 00:07:25,758
You mean, t.P. His house?
195
00:07:25,793 --> 00:07:27,862
No, talk to him.
196
00:07:27,896 --> 00:07:29,000
I don't want to.
197
00:07:29,034 --> 00:07:30,965
You talk to him.
198
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,206
Mr. Rothwell?
199
00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:33,103
Yes.
200
00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:36,413
Hi. I'm hilda spellman,
Sabrina's aunt.
201
00:07:36,448 --> 00:07:37,344
I wanted to talk to you
202
00:07:37,379 --> 00:07:38,862
about the test
that she took today.
203
00:07:38,896 --> 00:07:41,206
Excellent timing. I just
finished correcting them.
204
00:07:41,241 --> 00:07:42,034
I'll find hers.
205
00:07:42,068 --> 00:07:43,689
Oh thanks, see she's upset.
206
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,103
Because she thinks she failed.
207
00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:47,424
I know she didn't because she's
very bright and she studied so hard.
208
00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:48,551
She got an "f."
209
00:07:48,586 --> 00:07:50,931
That's impossible.
210
00:07:50,965 --> 00:07:52,251
Are you sure you
added it up right?
211
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:53,793
Ms. Spellman, I'm a math teacher
212
00:07:53,827 --> 00:07:56,655
but feel free to double check.
213
00:07:56,689 --> 00:07:58,206
There were 15 questions
214
00:07:58,241 --> 00:07:59,793
the first five were
worth 40 points
215
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:01,689
the next five were worth 45.
216
00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,827
The last five were worth 15.
217
00:08:03,862 --> 00:08:05,206
Sabrina got two of the biggies
218
00:08:05,241 --> 00:08:07,551
three of the middies and one
of the babies, for grand total
219
00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:09,310
of 45 points of what
percent of a hundred?
220
00:08:09,344 --> 00:08:11,241
Oh, I, uh... 15 questions
221
00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:13,034
100 points... Carry the two...
222
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:14,241
I have no idea!
223
00:08:14,275 --> 00:08:15,172
Forty-five percent!
224
00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:16,758
Geez, no wonder she failed.
225
00:08:16,793 --> 00:08:20,482
But I didn't have a chance
to study for this meeting.
226
00:08:20,517 --> 00:08:23,482
More lizard's leg, and don't
skimp on the howlet's wing.
227
00:08:23,517 --> 00:08:26,896
Let's put in this jar of cocktail
onions that's been in the fridge forever.
228
00:08:26,931 --> 00:08:27,758
Yeah!
229
00:08:27,793 --> 00:08:29,000
What smells so sweet?
230
00:08:29,034 --> 00:08:30,448
Revenge.
231
00:08:30,482 --> 00:08:32,862
It's time to teach
Mr. Rothwell a lesson.
232
00:08:32,896 --> 00:08:34,517
With a number two cauldron?
233
00:08:34,551 --> 00:08:35,793
It can't be that serious.
234
00:08:35,827 --> 00:08:37,551
It is. Keep stirring.
235
00:08:37,586 --> 00:08:38,241
Wait. There's been
236
00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:39,620
a breakdown in communication.
237
00:08:39,655 --> 00:08:41,448
I will go talk to him
238
00:08:41,482 --> 00:08:43,413
as physicist to algebra teacher
239
00:08:43,448 --> 00:08:46,275
and we will work
this out logically.
240
00:08:46,310 --> 00:08:49,448
And no one seeks
vengeance until I get back.
241
00:08:51,551 --> 00:08:53,286
Can we at least make
his butt a little bigger?
242
00:08:53,310 --> 00:08:56,620
As big as you want it to be!
243
00:08:56,655 --> 00:08:58,586
I wanted to discuss
this rationally
244
00:08:58,620 --> 00:08:59,896
but you're making it hard.
245
00:08:59,931 --> 00:09:02,103
Hey, she failed the test.
246
00:09:02,137 --> 00:09:03,458
What do you want
me to do about it?
247
00:09:03,482 --> 00:09:05,482
But the circumstances
were unfair.
248
00:09:05,517 --> 00:09:07,931
Look, if it makes you feel
better, you can blame this on me
249
00:09:07,965 --> 00:09:10,551
but I think we both know
these problems start at home.
250
00:09:10,586 --> 00:09:11,758
What problems?
251
00:09:11,793 --> 00:09:14,103
Hey, if a kid can't master
the quadratic equation
252
00:09:14,137 --> 00:09:17,482
that says to me
dysfunctional family.
253
00:09:17,517 --> 00:09:19,862
We function just fine.
254
00:09:19,896 --> 00:09:21,655
Tell it to a social worker.
255
00:09:21,689 --> 00:09:23,758
Now, if you'll excuse me
256
00:09:23,793 --> 00:09:25,620
I haveto get to the gym.
257
00:09:30,551 --> 00:09:31,620
This is so great.
258
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,241
Thank you so much
for backing me up.
259
00:09:33,275 --> 00:09:36,034
Well, you were 100%
right about this guy.
260
00:09:36,068 --> 00:09:37,517
Please, no percentages.
261
00:09:37,551 --> 00:09:39,068
Is it revenge yet?
262
00:09:39,103 --> 00:09:41,034
Mm, it's really spiteful.
263
00:09:41,068 --> 00:09:42,551
Let's finish the spell.
264
00:09:42,586 --> 00:09:44,586
Hilda, you do the honors.
265
00:09:44,620 --> 00:09:47,620
Adder's fork and
blind-worm's sting
266
00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:50,586
lizard's leg and howlet's wing
267
00:09:50,620 --> 00:09:53,206
for a charm of powerful trouble
268
00:09:53,241 --> 00:09:55,896
fire burn and cauldron bubble.
269
00:09:55,931 --> 00:09:57,206
Take it away, Sabrina.
270
00:09:57,241 --> 00:09:59,896
Fair is foul and foul is fair
271
00:09:59,931 --> 00:10:02,586
hover through
fog and filthy air.
272
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:05,724
Now what?
273
00:10:05,758 --> 00:10:08,000
Wait and see.
274
00:10:08,034 --> 00:10:09,862
[ Cackling]
275
00:10:11,137 --> 00:10:12,448
You cackled.
276
00:10:12,482 --> 00:10:14,413
This is going to be so cool.
277
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:20,034
Weird. Rothwell is never late.
278
00:10:20,068 --> 00:10:22,103
Maybe he called in sick
279
00:10:22,137 --> 00:10:23,620
or maybe he had car trouble.
280
00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:25,862
Or maybe the earth yawned
and swallowed him up.
281
00:10:27,862 --> 00:10:29,413
It could happen.
282
00:10:29,448 --> 00:10:32,241
Oh, toothpicks.
283
00:10:32,275 --> 00:10:34,827
I am late for the
first time in my life
284
00:10:34,862 --> 00:10:37,655
because I've been the
victim of a great injustice.
285
00:10:37,689 --> 00:10:38,551
Yes!
286
00:10:38,586 --> 00:10:39,896
I got a speeding ticket.
287
00:10:39,931 --> 00:10:42,379
Speeding ticket?
288
00:10:42,413 --> 00:10:44,103
Three witches and a
number ten cauldron
289
00:10:44,137 --> 00:10:46,310
and the best we could do
was a stupid speeding ticket?
290
00:10:46,344 --> 00:10:48,172
Maybe the lizard's
leg wasn't fresh.
291
00:10:48,206 --> 00:10:49,448
I thought it smelled funny.
292
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,551
Great.
293
00:10:50,586 --> 00:10:52,424
Rothwell will just go to
court and weasel out of it.
294
00:10:52,448 --> 00:10:54,310
Court? The spell is working.
295
00:10:54,344 --> 00:10:56,103
He'll find his just
desserts there.
296
00:10:56,137 --> 00:10:57,586
Let's go early and
get good seats.
297
00:10:57,620 --> 00:10:58,586
And don't worry.
298
00:10:58,620 --> 00:11:00,137
Justice will be served.
299
00:11:00,172 --> 00:11:00,862
Oh, yeah?
300
00:11:00,896 --> 00:11:03,000
Then how come his butt deflated?
301
00:11:03,034 --> 00:11:03,586
What do you think?
302
00:11:03,620 --> 00:11:04,827
Red lamborghini.
303
00:11:04,862 --> 00:11:07,137
This has to impress
my ex-girlfriend, shelley.
304
00:11:07,172 --> 00:11:08,586
Sure. Now all you have to do
305
00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:10,482
is lose the paws,
whiskers and fur.
306
00:11:10,517 --> 00:11:11,724
Hey, so what if I'm a cat?
307
00:11:11,758 --> 00:11:13,862
This car says I got it going on!
308
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:16,827
[ Laughs]
309
00:11:16,862 --> 00:11:17,482
Man: It's a travesty
310
00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:18,482
of justice, sir.
311
00:11:18,517 --> 00:11:19,827
I mean, I know red.
312
00:11:19,862 --> 00:11:21,896
Red is the color of rage
313
00:11:21,931 --> 00:11:23,689
and that light was not red.
314
00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:24,655
It was yellow...
315
00:11:24,689 --> 00:11:26,896
Yellow as the sunshine.
316
00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:28,827
Well, in light of
your flowery prose
317
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:31,034
and the fact that the
arresting officer didn't show
318
00:11:31,068 --> 00:11:33,172
I'll cut your fine in half.
319
00:11:33,206 --> 00:11:34,137
Half?!
320
00:11:34,172 --> 00:11:37,137
Sir, half an injustice
is still an injustice.
321
00:11:37,172 --> 00:11:38,103
Case closed.
322
00:11:38,137 --> 00:11:41,862
This court is in recess.
323
00:11:41,896 --> 00:11:42,931
Wait. Come back here.
324
00:11:42,965 --> 00:11:43,724
I want that judge.
325
00:11:43,758 --> 00:11:44,793
He was easy.
326
00:11:44,827 --> 00:11:46,413
Mr. Rothwell?
327
00:11:46,448 --> 00:11:47,344
Do I know you?
328
00:11:47,379 --> 00:11:49,103
Well of course, you
wouldn't recognize me.
329
00:11:49,137 --> 00:11:51,275
Not without tears
streaming down my face
330
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:53,551
like a harsh, unforgiving rain.
331
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:55,965
I'm Clifford Weaver...
Your former algebra student.
332
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,206
Wait. You're a novelist now.
333
00:11:57,241 --> 00:11:58,561
You wrote rage
against the system.
334
00:11:58,586 --> 00:11:59,137
I loved that book.
335
00:11:59,172 --> 00:12:00,827
It was full of hate.
336
00:12:03,310 --> 00:12:04,793
There's Mr. Rothwell.
337
00:12:06,689 --> 00:12:09,862
Ooh, I think that's for us.
338
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,482
Either that's part of the spell
339
00:12:11,517 --> 00:12:12,689
or the bailiff keeps steaks.
340
00:12:12,724 --> 00:12:14,482
I bet that's our judge.
341
00:12:14,517 --> 00:12:15,724
In the refrigerator?
342
00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:18,275
Yes. Witch judges take
turns in the deep freeze
343
00:12:18,310 --> 00:12:19,724
to prevent media bias.
344
00:12:19,758 --> 00:12:21,034
For example
345
00:12:21,068 --> 00:12:23,655
judge Samuels has
been in here since 1956.
346
00:12:23,689 --> 00:12:26,275
Wow. A man untouched by CNN.
347
00:12:28,310 --> 00:12:30,965
Now, that's a
good night's sleep.
348
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,172
Hi, judge Samuels.
349
00:12:32,206 --> 00:12:33,931
Here's the deal.
350
00:12:33,965 --> 00:12:34,931
We are...
351
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,689
Shh! Not a word.
352
00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:39,137
I must stay pure for the law.
353
00:12:39,172 --> 00:12:41,896
Just a cup of cocoa,
and I'm in business.
354
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:50,689
Guilty!
355
00:12:50,724 --> 00:12:51,586
Order!
356
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:54,241
One more outburst
like that, and I'll...
357
00:12:54,275 --> 00:12:55,655
All right.
358
00:12:55,689 --> 00:12:57,344
I'm ready.
359
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:59,758
Court is in session.
360
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:02,413
Jeremy rothwell
361
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,448
you are charged
362
00:13:03,482 --> 00:13:05,896
with violating vehicular
code section 16-4:
363
00:13:05,931 --> 00:13:07,379
Driving at an unsafe speed.
364
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:08,379
How do you plead?
365
00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,275
Not guilty.
366
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,310
You're also charged
367
00:13:10,344 --> 00:13:12,758
with violation of
the existential code
368
00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:14,344
section 63-b:
369
00:13:14,379 --> 00:13:15,379
Multiple counts
370
00:13:15,413 --> 00:13:16,586
of being mean and unfair.
371
00:13:16,620 --> 00:13:17,689
How do you plead?
372
00:13:17,724 --> 00:13:18,551
What is this?
373
00:13:18,586 --> 00:13:20,689
I never heard of
an existential code.
374
00:13:20,724 --> 00:13:22,931
You have to read the fine print.
375
00:13:22,965 --> 00:13:25,172
How do you plead?
376
00:13:25,206 --> 00:13:25,862
Not guilty.
377
00:13:25,896 --> 00:13:27,034
Ha!
378
00:13:27,068 --> 00:13:27,655
Plea entered.
379
00:13:27,689 --> 00:13:29,206
Strike the "ha."
380
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:31,034
Prosecution may
present its case.
381
00:13:31,068 --> 00:13:32,275
Are the people present?
382
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:33,137
We're the people.
383
00:13:33,172 --> 00:13:34,379
We are? Cool.
384
00:13:34,413 --> 00:13:35,862
Sabrina, what are
you doing here?
385
00:13:35,896 --> 00:13:38,689
Didn't you hear?
We're the people.
386
00:13:38,724 --> 00:13:39,482
Proceed.
387
00:13:39,517 --> 00:13:41,310
Thank you, your honor.
388
00:13:41,344 --> 00:13:42,655
The people would like to call
389
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,379
as their first witness...
390
00:13:47,482 --> 00:13:49,275
Clifford Weaver.
391
00:13:49,310 --> 00:13:50,413
[ People gasping]
392
00:13:51,448 --> 00:13:53,482
[ Gargling]
393
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:59,034
Mmm. Minty fresh for milady.
394
00:13:59,068 --> 00:14:03,862
I'd be more nervous if I
weren't so good-looking.
395
00:14:03,896 --> 00:14:05,965
And yes, he failed me.
396
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,724
But, I mean, listen
to those words.
397
00:14:07,758 --> 00:14:10,034
He... failed... me.
398
00:14:10,068 --> 00:14:13,344
Throw the book at him, judge.
399
00:14:13,379 --> 00:14:14,551
Thank you, Clifford.
400
00:14:14,586 --> 00:14:17,689
Your honor, I'd like to
cross-examine this witness.
401
00:14:17,724 --> 00:14:19,931
Well then, proceed.
402
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:21,241
Clifford...
403
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:22,275
You wrote the book
404
00:14:22,310 --> 00:14:23,689
rage against the
system, correct?
405
00:14:23,724 --> 00:14:24,689
Correct.
406
00:14:24,724 --> 00:14:26,286
And isn't it true that
the New York times
407
00:14:26,310 --> 00:14:27,965
picked you as the
best of the new breed
408
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,517
of angry young writers?
409
00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:31,241
I resent that moniker, but yes.
410
00:14:31,275 --> 00:14:33,620
Well, what made
you angry, Clifford?
411
00:14:33,655 --> 00:14:35,344
Was it your mother
holding your hand?
412
00:14:35,379 --> 00:14:37,448
Was it the librarian
patting your head?
413
00:14:37,482 --> 00:14:38,620
Or was it me?!
414
00:14:38,655 --> 00:14:40,068
I gave you that anger.
415
00:14:40,103 --> 00:14:41,413
I spoon-fed you that rage.
416
00:14:41,448 --> 00:14:42,527
I made you what you are today.
417
00:14:42,551 --> 00:14:44,310
You should thank me!
418
00:14:44,344 --> 00:14:46,344
You never helped me.
419
00:14:46,379 --> 00:14:47,172
That's a lie!
420
00:14:47,206 --> 00:14:48,448
No further questions.
421
00:14:48,482 --> 00:14:52,103
I've never been
so angry in my life.
422
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:53,724
That's my second novel.
423
00:14:55,655 --> 00:14:58,241
Quick, call another witness.
424
00:14:58,275 --> 00:14:59,793
The people call...
425
00:15:01,586 --> 00:15:03,758
The arresting officer.
426
00:15:03,793 --> 00:15:06,827
[ Gasping]
427
00:15:06,862 --> 00:15:08,310
So, he was speeding?
428
00:15:08,344 --> 00:15:09,310
Definitely.
429
00:15:09,344 --> 00:15:10,379
And was he mean?
430
00:15:10,413 --> 00:15:11,034
Mean?
431
00:15:11,068 --> 00:15:12,034
Mean, disagreeable
432
00:15:12,068 --> 00:15:13,724
unkind, knavish. Mean.
433
00:15:13,758 --> 00:15:16,137
Well, he threw his
registration at me.
434
00:15:16,172 --> 00:15:17,758
Then he muttered
under his breath
435
00:15:17,793 --> 00:15:18,655
"what a jerk"
436
00:15:18,689 --> 00:15:19,517
but I heard him.
437
00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,620
I have really good ears.
438
00:15:21,655 --> 00:15:24,310
And lovely eyes.
439
00:15:24,344 --> 00:15:25,724
Thank you.
440
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:27,655
No further questions.
441
00:15:29,344 --> 00:15:32,000
The people call
our next witness.
442
00:15:34,241 --> 00:15:37,827
Sabrina spellman.
443
00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:39,965
Normally, I don't like to
say bad things about people
444
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,000
but as I am under oath...
445
00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,620
Mr. Rothwell's
completely unfair.
446
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:46,310
He doesn't like kids,
he doesn't like math
447
00:15:46,344 --> 00:15:49,034
he doesn't like teaching
and he doesn't like chalk.
448
00:15:49,068 --> 00:15:51,482
These are very serious charges.
449
00:15:51,517 --> 00:15:53,103
Have you any proof?
450
00:15:53,137 --> 00:15:54,862
I could call my friend gordie.
451
00:15:54,896 --> 00:15:56,379
Proof, proof, any proof?
452
00:15:56,413 --> 00:15:57,586
It doesn't exist.
453
00:15:57,620 --> 00:15:58,931
Mr. Rothwell's unfairness lies
454
00:15:58,965 --> 00:16:00,482
only in the hearts
of those students
455
00:16:00,517 --> 00:16:02,793
whose love of math
he has destroyed.
456
00:16:02,827 --> 00:16:04,689
Including yours, Sabrina?
457
00:16:04,724 --> 00:16:06,655
It's too early to tell, but...
458
00:16:06,689 --> 00:16:07,310
There is a chance
459
00:16:07,344 --> 00:16:08,896
that for the rest of my life
460
00:16:08,931 --> 00:16:10,379
I will fear math.
461
00:16:10,413 --> 00:16:11,068
I will sweat every time
462
00:16:11,103 --> 00:16:12,551
I have to calculate a tip.
463
00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:14,137
I will put off balancing
my checkbook.
464
00:16:14,172 --> 00:16:14,965
I will play Blackjack,
465
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,275
but I will not understand it.
466
00:16:17,310 --> 00:16:20,862
If you understood it,
you wouldn't play it.
467
00:16:20,896 --> 00:16:21,758
Thank you.
468
00:16:21,793 --> 00:16:23,586
You may step down.
469
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:26,448
Counselor, are there
any other witnesses?
470
00:16:26,482 --> 00:16:28,862
The people rest.
471
00:16:28,896 --> 00:16:31,689
Would the defendant like
to make a closing statement?
472
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,965
Yes, I would.
473
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,413
Your honor, I'm
not a baby-sitter.
474
00:16:36,448 --> 00:16:39,034
I'm paid to teach math,
and that is what I do.
475
00:16:39,068 --> 00:16:42,275
Yes, I could be more
sensitive, but let's face it.
476
00:16:42,310 --> 00:16:43,965
The world is full
of people like me...
477
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:47,103
People who choose favorites,
people who don't accept excuses
478
00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:50,000
people who are unfair.
479
00:16:50,034 --> 00:16:51,103
Well, life is unfair
480
00:16:51,137 --> 00:16:54,793
and I'm just helping my
students to get used to that.
481
00:16:54,827 --> 00:16:57,448
Mr. Rothwell, just
one last question.
482
00:16:57,482 --> 00:16:59,068
Do you intend to
teach high school
483
00:16:59,103 --> 00:17:00,448
for the rest of your life?
484
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:01,448
Are you kidding?
485
00:17:01,482 --> 00:17:02,769
I'm just doing this
till I can start on
486
00:17:02,793 --> 00:17:04,793
my own software company.
487
00:17:04,827 --> 00:17:06,448
Oh. Thank you.
488
00:17:06,482 --> 00:17:09,000
Well, I shall return
with my decision
489
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:11,482
and a fresh cup of cocoa.
490
00:17:12,586 --> 00:17:14,413
Salem: Flowers, soft lights...
491
00:17:14,448 --> 00:17:15,275
What's missing?
492
00:17:15,310 --> 00:17:18,206
Oops. Almost forgot.
493
00:17:20,344 --> 00:17:21,862
[ Soft music plays]
494
00:17:21,896 --> 00:17:24,379
Oh, yeah.
495
00:17:24,413 --> 00:17:25,931
I've reached my decision.
496
00:17:27,689 --> 00:17:30,310
With respect to the
existential code violation
497
00:17:30,344 --> 00:17:34,793
this court finds you not guilty
due to insufficient evidence.
498
00:17:34,827 --> 00:17:35,655
With respect
499
00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,758
to the vehicular code violation
500
00:17:37,793 --> 00:17:40,206
the court finds you
guilty as charged.
501
00:17:40,241 --> 00:17:41,448
Aw, nuts.
502
00:17:41,482 --> 00:17:45,275
But we'll waive
the usual $40 fine
503
00:17:45,310 --> 00:17:46,482
and instead
504
00:17:46,517 --> 00:17:48,551
sentence you to a lifetime
505
00:17:48,586 --> 00:17:51,034
of teaching high school algebra.
506
00:17:51,068 --> 00:17:53,172
What?! That's not fair!
507
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,517
Case closed.
508
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,517
No!
509
00:17:56,551 --> 00:18:00,379
No...!
510
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:01,827
No!!
511
00:18:03,724 --> 00:18:08,310
This trial shall be stricken
from all mortal memory.
512
00:18:08,344 --> 00:18:10,862
Court is adjourned.
513
00:18:10,896 --> 00:18:11,896
Wait a second.
514
00:18:11,931 --> 00:18:14,344
How can being sentenced
to teaching high school
515
00:18:14,379 --> 00:18:15,724
be sufficient punishment?
516
00:18:15,758 --> 00:18:17,172
Because it's the worst thing
517
00:18:17,206 --> 00:18:19,068
Mr. Rothwell can imagine.
518
00:18:19,103 --> 00:18:20,320
But now kids are going
to be stuck with him
519
00:18:20,344 --> 00:18:21,793
year after year.
520
00:18:21,827 --> 00:18:23,241
Well, whether he means to or not
521
00:18:23,275 --> 00:18:25,103
he teaches a valuable lesson.
522
00:18:25,137 --> 00:18:26,862
Some people are just jerks?
523
00:18:26,896 --> 00:18:29,103
Yes, but if you study hard
524
00:18:29,137 --> 00:18:30,389
and you don't let him get to you
525
00:18:30,413 --> 00:18:33,689
you'll pass algebra,
and then you can forget it
526
00:18:33,724 --> 00:18:35,482
but he's trapped
in math forever.
527
00:18:35,517 --> 00:18:37,344
So, he did get
his just desserts.
528
00:18:37,379 --> 00:18:38,344
Mm-hmm.
529
00:18:38,379 --> 00:18:40,179
And now I think we
should get frozen desserts.
530
00:18:46,241 --> 00:18:47,068
[ Doorbell rings]
531
00:18:47,103 --> 00:18:48,172
The door's open.
532
00:18:51,413 --> 00:18:52,344
Salem?
533
00:18:52,379 --> 00:18:53,172
I don't believe it.
534
00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,620
You look even more stunning
535
00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:55,448
than the last time
536
00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:56,448
I saw you.
537
00:18:56,482 --> 00:18:59,103
It's so good to see you, too.
538
00:18:59,137 --> 00:19:00,620
No! Stay back!
539
00:19:00,655 --> 00:19:01,448
Why?
540
00:19:01,482 --> 00:19:02,724
You said you wanted to talk
541
00:19:02,758 --> 00:19:04,103
so let's talk.
542
00:19:04,137 --> 00:19:06,793
Youwant to talk?
543
00:19:06,827 --> 00:19:08,413
You have changed.
544
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:09,896
You could say that.
545
00:19:09,931 --> 00:19:11,241
Is that your cat?
546
00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:13,689
Huh? Uh, y-yes.
547
00:19:13,724 --> 00:19:16,655
They make incredible
companions, you know.
548
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:19,448
So, what's on your mind?
549
00:19:19,482 --> 00:19:22,068
Us. And how we broke up.
550
00:19:22,103 --> 00:19:24,551
See, at the time,
I felt shut out.
551
00:19:24,586 --> 00:19:27,034
You were so consumed
with global conquest
552
00:19:27,068 --> 00:19:28,620
and I resented taking a backseat
553
00:19:28,655 --> 00:19:30,275
to world domination.
554
00:19:30,310 --> 00:19:34,241
But here it is 30
years later, and...
555
00:19:34,275 --> 00:19:36,413
Now I realize that
you were the best thing
556
00:19:36,448 --> 00:19:38,310
that ever happened to me.
557
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,551
Go on.
558
00:19:39,586 --> 00:19:42,034
I know it's kind
of sudden, but...
559
00:19:42,068 --> 00:19:43,758
I think we should
give it another try.
560
00:19:43,793 --> 00:19:44,758
I don't see why not.
561
00:19:44,793 --> 00:19:46,689
I care about you,
you care about me...
562
00:19:46,724 --> 00:19:48,206
Enough words!
563
00:19:48,241 --> 00:19:50,000
Salem, hold me.
564
00:19:50,034 --> 00:19:51,206
Oh, shelley!
565
00:19:51,241 --> 00:19:52,689
Oh! Your cat!
566
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:55,000
Get off me!
567
00:19:55,034 --> 00:19:55,724
Salem...
568
00:19:55,758 --> 00:19:57,344
Salem: I can explain.
569
00:19:59,689 --> 00:20:00,793
Salem...
570
00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:02,034
Is that you?
571
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:02,724
Yes.
572
00:20:02,758 --> 00:20:04,586
You're a cat?
573
00:20:04,620 --> 00:20:05,620
Technically.
574
00:20:05,655 --> 00:20:08,034
Who's your friend?
575
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,206
A mannequin?!
576
00:20:10,241 --> 00:20:12,827
How long were you
expecting this to fool me?
577
00:20:12,862 --> 00:20:14,172
Another 30 seconds?
578
00:20:14,206 --> 00:20:15,758
Well, all right. Look
579
00:20:15,793 --> 00:20:16,724
I got caught
580
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:19,793
and they sentenced
me to 100 years as this.
581
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:22,068
This is not what I had in mind.
582
00:20:22,103 --> 00:20:23,206
We can work it out.
583
00:20:23,241 --> 00:20:26,896
Sorry, cat, this is good-bye.
584
00:20:26,931 --> 00:20:28,448
I loved you.
585
00:20:28,482 --> 00:20:30,034
But I'm better now.
586
00:20:30,068 --> 00:20:31,034
I like to snuggle
587
00:20:31,068 --> 00:20:32,137
I have great night vision
588
00:20:32,172 --> 00:20:35,413
and I'm super, super clean.
589
00:20:35,448 --> 00:20:38,655
It's so unfair.
590
00:20:38,689 --> 00:20:41,655
[ Sobbing]
591
00:20:41,689 --> 00:20:43,000
Which equals the square root
592
00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:45,172
of negative four or two "I."
593
00:20:45,206 --> 00:20:46,827
Got it. Perfect.
594
00:20:46,862 --> 00:20:48,793
You seem a lot
more relaxed today.
595
00:20:48,827 --> 00:20:51,413
Yeah, well, I decided I'm not
going to let rothwell get to me.
596
00:20:51,448 --> 00:20:53,689
And you know, I'm even
feeling a little sorry for him.
597
00:20:53,724 --> 00:20:55,217
Did you hear the
financing fell through
598
00:20:55,241 --> 00:20:56,310
on his software company?
599
00:20:56,344 --> 00:20:59,896
And have you noticed
how big his butt's gotten?
600
00:20:59,931 --> 00:21:00,689
No.
601
00:21:00,724 --> 00:21:01,724
Okay, last problem.
602
00:21:04,241 --> 00:21:07,896
♪ Shake your whammy
Fanny, funky song, funky song ♪
603
00:21:07,931 --> 00:21:11,689
♪ shake your whammy
Fanny, funky song... ♪
604
00:21:11,724 --> 00:21:12,931
All: Shh!
605
00:21:12,965 --> 00:21:14,034
Sorry.
606
00:21:15,862 --> 00:21:18,448
[ No audio]
607
00:21:22,034 --> 00:21:23,000
[ Sighing]
608
00:21:23,034 --> 00:21:24,655
Poor Salem.
609
00:21:24,689 --> 00:21:26,482
Are you going to be okay?
610
00:21:26,517 --> 00:21:28,000
I guess.
611
00:21:28,034 --> 00:21:29,620
With time.
612
00:21:29,655 --> 00:21:30,965
No.
613
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,689
Don't worry, you'll
be happy again soon.
614
00:21:32,724 --> 00:21:35,137
Please. Shelley was
the love of my life.
615
00:21:35,172 --> 00:21:37,758
What would ever
replace her in my heart?
616
00:21:37,793 --> 00:21:39,655
Maybe this'll help.
617
00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,758
A giant ball of yarn?!
618
00:21:41,793 --> 00:21:43,758
This is the best ever!
619
00:21:43,793 --> 00:21:44,724
I thought you'd like it.
620
00:21:44,758 --> 00:21:47,827
Like it? I don't even
remember her name!
40875
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