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1
00:02:55,703 --> 00:02:57,928
Boys, boys!
2
00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:03,080
Rabbi Jacob is leaving.
C'mon, lets go and say goodbye.
3
00:03:25,518 --> 00:03:27,426
Shalom, my friends.
4
00:03:31,714 --> 00:03:35,847
- Have a safe trip.
- May you live in peace
5
00:03:36,227 --> 00:03:38,458
- Have a "bon voyage"
6
00:03:38,824 --> 00:03:43,494
Reb Samuel, please, 30 years
since he was in in Paris, France.
7
00:03:43,586 --> 00:03:47,713
Please keep an eye out
on 'mein' husband. - Of course.
8
00:03:47,787 --> 00:03:52,661
'Rebbe', what I got for you
they never heard in Paris, France.
9
00:03:52,808 --> 00:03:54,894
One of my cheesecakes.
10
00:03:56,265 --> 00:04:00,044
Give it to David for
a bar mitzvah present.
11
00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:03,630
Absolutely, absolutely!
12
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:12,120
Hey mac, I don't have all day.
13
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:15,112
- Let's go, huh?
- Yes my boy. Yes.
14
00:04:15,285 --> 00:04:18,541
Come with me to the
airport, all of you.
15
00:04:30,418 --> 00:04:33,539
Hey, this is a taxi,
not a synagogue.
16
00:04:33,631 --> 00:04:35,046
Ok, move over.
17
00:04:35,102 --> 00:04:39,297
Jacob, don't forget to give a
big kiss to our nephew Solomon.
18
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:42,348
And also Esther and
Tzippe and Moishe.
19
00:04:42,415 --> 00:04:45,077
I give, I give.
All the Schmoll family.
20
00:04:45,147 --> 00:04:47,288
Jacob, you know what I want ?
21
00:04:47,366 --> 00:04:50,776
I want more 'Je Reviens'
perfume.
22
00:04:50,830 --> 00:04:52,104
Bye, bye.
23
00:04:52,222 --> 00:04:56,350
Ok, 'Je Reviens'. Je Reviens!
24
00:05:03,479 --> 00:05:06,469
♪ I will see my Normandy.
25
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:08,924
♪ dai dai dai
26
00:05:09,041 --> 00:05:14,816
No Samuel, not "dai dai dai".
It's French... France!
27
00:05:15,650 --> 00:05:18,429
♪ I will see my Normandy.
28
00:05:18,525 --> 00:05:22,081
♪ The land that gave life to me
29
00:05:32,506 --> 00:05:36,053
What's going on?
Will you hurry, please, driver.
30
00:05:36,131 --> 00:05:38,844
Hey, what do you want, miracles?
31
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:44,572
Don't worry, Rabbi,
we’ll catch your plane. C'mon!
32
00:05:48,758 --> 00:05:51,055
Ready? One, two, three!
33
00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,629
You see my boy? That's a miracle.
34
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,953
- Monsieur, may I take the wheel?
- You're a pain in the neck!
35
00:07:25,397 --> 00:07:27,399
Monsieur, watch out!
36
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:31,381
What the hell's he doing
in the emergency lane?
37
00:07:34,012 --> 00:07:36,563
See that, an Englishman!
38
00:07:37,071 --> 00:07:40,154
I don't like the English.
Do you?
39
00:07:40,205 --> 00:07:42,591
- Yeah.
- I don't.
40
00:07:43,102 --> 00:07:47,136
- Look, Solomon! - What?
- See, a Swiss and a German.
41
00:07:47,207 --> 00:07:49,527
- So?
- Swiss and German.
42
00:07:49,593 --> 00:07:52,198
This isn't France anymore!
43
00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:58,699
Now we're behind a Belgian!
44
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:01,860
- Belgians!
- Why, don't you like Belgians, either?
45
00:08:01,927 --> 00:08:06,675
They pollute us, those Belgians!
Look at his exhaust. Belgian ehaust!
46
00:08:06,982 --> 00:08:10,527
Hold on, I'll pass him.
I'll 'tres-pass' him.
47
00:08:28,738 --> 00:08:30,127
Woah, woah!
48
00:08:32,284 --> 00:08:34,668
Look at that, Solomon. Look!
49
00:08:34,715 --> 00:08:36,417
Yeah. What?
50
00:08:36,482 --> 00:08:40,566
It's clean, quiet no smoke.
He's a Frenchman!
51
00:08:40,598 --> 00:08:41,965
Monsieur.
52
00:08:42,019 --> 00:08:44,778
Can't you line up
like everyone else?
53
00:08:44,830 --> 00:08:47,722
Moron, cretin,
cuckhold...meathead!
54
00:08:47,796 --> 00:08:50,135
Hear that? Now THAT'S French!
55
00:08:50,190 --> 00:08:52,704
In the emergency lane, too!
56
00:08:54,204 --> 00:08:58,857
- You got no shame!
- Woof... woof! Grr!
57
00:09:01,861 --> 00:09:04,238
Hey, are you finished?!
58
00:09:06,236 --> 00:09:09,579
- What is it?
- You can see, a wedding!
59
00:09:09,789 --> 00:09:13,937
I'm also marrying off my daughter.
Come on let me pass.
60
00:09:29,087 --> 00:09:32,949
- Did you see the bride?
- Yes. - She's black.
61
00:09:35,421 --> 00:09:39,265
Not cafe-au-lait, but black!
And he's white!
62
00:09:39,527 --> 00:09:40,940
So?
63
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:43,730
He's white, she's black...
64
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,475
Black. Oh, pfft!
65
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:08,074
Hey, Solomon, c'mon!
66
00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:10,247
Yes sir, coming.
67
00:10:10,428 --> 00:10:13,849
Let me pass, my daughter's
getting married.
68
00:10:13,850 --> 00:10:17,337
Ah, that's your daughter?
Congratulations.
69
00:10:17,455 --> 00:10:21,207
No, she's not my daughter.
The bride's black!
70
00:10:21,682 --> 00:10:23,643
Monsieur, Monsieur!
71
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,693
See that, Solomon?
They have cars, now.
72
00:11:04,761 --> 00:11:06,840
Blacks in white Rolls!
73
00:11:06,902 --> 00:11:09,603
It couldn't happen
to you, Sir. - What?
74
00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:12,082
Your daughter
marrying a black man.
75
00:11:12,124 --> 00:11:16,246
- Waddaya mean by that?
- Monsieur is rather racist. - Racist?
76
00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:19,410
Moi?! Racist?
Solomon! Racist?!
77
00:11:20,587 --> 00:11:23,837
Thank God Antoinette
is marrying a Frenchman
78
00:11:23,871 --> 00:11:27,316
A thoroughly white one.
Even a bit pale. Huh?
79
00:11:27,550 --> 00:11:30,511
- And pimply.
- How about that lisp?
80
00:11:30,574 --> 00:11:34,525
He lisps, but he's rich, like me.
And Catholic, like everyone.
81
00:11:34,591 --> 00:11:38,832
Not everyone, Monsieur.
Me, for example, I'm Jewish.
82
00:11:42,311 --> 00:11:44,136
You're Jewish?
83
00:11:44,527 --> 00:11:47,314
How's that? Solomon is Jewish?
84
00:11:47,945 --> 00:11:49,977
Solomon is Jewish, oh!
85
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:53,799
And my uncle Jacob, coming
from New York, is a rabbi.
86
00:11:54,209 --> 00:11:56,670
- But he's not Jewish?
- Oh, yes.
87
00:11:57,677 --> 00:12:00,514
- Not your whole family?
- Oh, yes.
88
00:12:03,486 --> 00:12:06,455
Doesn't matter,
I'll keep you on anyway.
89
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:11,447
- That'll be Madame.
- We're late.
90
00:12:11,472 --> 00:12:14,996
- Monsieur's gonna get it!
- OK, enough of that!
91
00:12:16,097 --> 00:12:19,347
- Hello, Victor?
- Hello, Germaine...
92
00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:22,730
Let me explain!...Bla bla
93
00:12:23,009 --> 00:12:24,583
Bla, bla...
94
00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:28,308
Quiet, Victor! You're a liar,
a hypocrite, and a fake.
95
00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:32,187
You, be quiet too! If you wanna
marry my daughter tomorrow
96
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:35,170
I must finish you today.
- What? - Your crowns.
97
00:12:35,267 --> 00:12:38,005
How do I know for sure...
98
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,237
Shh! How do I know you
were alone in Deauville?
99
00:12:41,292 --> 00:12:42,753
She's madly jealous!
100
00:12:42,794 --> 00:12:45,302
With good reason.
Monsieur, is such a hunk.
101
00:12:45,327 --> 00:12:46,213
Hello, Victor?
102
00:12:46,238 --> 00:12:48,616
I forbid you to hang up.
103
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:52,514
Fine, wait. Wait now. Wait
104
00:12:56,979 --> 00:12:59,565
Damn! Watch the road!
105
00:13:01,191 --> 00:13:03,113
- Tell me, Germaine.
- Yes?
106
00:13:03,196 --> 00:13:05,381
- Did you know?
- Know what?
107
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:07,740
- Solomon...
- What about Solomon?
108
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,545
- is Jewish.
- So?
109
00:13:09,604 --> 00:13:11,299
The truck, the truck!
110
00:13:30,366 --> 00:13:32,576
Solomon? Solomon!
111
00:13:33,029 --> 00:13:34,614
Hey, Solomon!
112
00:13:52,723 --> 00:13:54,517
There he is.
113
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:20,694
Garcon?
114
00:14:21,245 --> 00:14:23,747
A peppermint cordial.
115
00:14:32,386 --> 00:14:34,379
M. Slimane.
116
00:14:35,081 --> 00:14:38,401
Telephone for M. Slimane.
117
00:14:39,075 --> 00:14:40,869
That's me.
118
00:14:53,526 --> 00:14:55,805
Booth 2, Monsieur.
119
00:15:03,558 --> 00:15:04,691
Hello?
120
00:15:04,730 --> 00:15:07,558
- Mohammed Larbi Slimane?
- That's me.
121
00:15:07,596 --> 00:15:09,364
Nobody's meeting you.
122
00:15:09,465 --> 00:15:12,503
- You fell into our trap, Slimane.
- Who is this?
123
00:15:12,590 --> 00:15:15,605
- Fares is waiting in front of
'Les Deux Magots'. - Fares?
124
00:15:15,629 --> 00:15:18,550
You're not getting
out of here alive.
125
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:21,722
And your revolution ... *arkoum!
126
00:15:22,699 --> 00:15:24,050
Hello?
127
00:15:25,183 --> 00:15:26,667
Hello!
128
00:15:32,138 --> 00:15:34,219
In 30 seconds he'll come out.
129
00:15:34,279 --> 00:15:37,368
He'll see me, and try
to run out the back.
130
00:15:37,422 --> 00:15:40,759
Colonel we can't snatch him
in Saint Germain de Pres!
131
00:15:40,784 --> 00:15:43,402
- We had him earlier!
- Shut up!
132
00:15:44,533 --> 00:15:47,143
Hurry, go wait
on the other side.
133
00:16:02,249 --> 00:16:03,781
Fares.
134
00:16:58,218 --> 00:16:59,763
Hurry!
135
00:16:59,887 --> 00:17:01,515
Drive.
136
00:17:16,811 --> 00:17:18,105
Hello?
137
00:17:19,476 --> 00:17:21,170
Hello? Hello!
138
00:17:21,259 --> 00:17:23,647
Mademoiselle, don't hang up
139
00:17:24,658 --> 00:17:26,010
Hello!
140
00:17:26,219 --> 00:17:27,907
Move, you!
141
00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:31,379
Arrange to send a tow truck
immediately.
142
00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:34,434
A tug boat, more likely.
143
00:17:34,948 --> 00:17:36,175
Help me!
144
00:17:36,224 --> 00:17:39,144
Pull! Don't make such a fuss.
145
00:17:39,270 --> 00:17:41,465
Hello, hello! What?
146
00:17:41,768 --> 00:17:44,464
A strike? That's all I need!
147
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:48,110
- My factory' on strike.
- Me too. I'm on strike.
148
00:17:48,203 --> 00:17:50,253
I'm fed up, I've had it!
149
00:17:50,445 --> 00:17:52,821
What did you say?
What? What?
150
00:17:52,936 --> 00:17:55,336
- Fed up!
- Take that!
151
00:17:55,652 --> 00:17:59,511
Hello, I forbid them
to strike, you hear?
152
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,368
No! I'm telling you, no.
153
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:05,246
Listen, just do as usual.
154
00:18:05,332 --> 00:18:08,754
You promise everything,
and I give nothing.
155
00:18:08,823 --> 00:18:10,957
Solomon, a car!
156
00:18:13,512 --> 00:18:15,434
Hey! Hey!
157
00:18:17,129 --> 00:18:21,930
Hey, hey! Stop, stop.
158
00:18:28,158 --> 00:18:31,125
Punks, egoists, dirty bastards!
159
00:18:33,117 --> 00:18:35,105
Straight, then
first on the left.
160
00:18:35,147 --> 00:18:37,699
The factory's at the
end of the lane.
161
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:42,566
Night is falling. We must
absolutely find a tow truck.
162
00:18:42,876 --> 00:18:44,511
- Solomon.
- Yes sir.
163
00:18:44,621 --> 00:18:48,129
Turn on the lights
so they can find us easier.
164
00:18:48,219 --> 00:18:50,144
- No, Sir.
- What?
165
00:18:50,184 --> 00:18:53,162
I'm not allowed
to put the lights on.
166
00:18:53,268 --> 00:18:57,223
Sir knows, I can't work
on Saturday. - But, it's Friday.
167
00:18:57,248 --> 00:19:00,215
For us Sabbath starts
Friday at sundown.
168
00:19:00,285 --> 00:19:02,945
And on Sabbath I can't work.
169
00:19:07,187 --> 00:19:10,607
Let’s go, my beloved,
*♪ Lechah dodi,
170
00:19:10,691 --> 00:19:14,455
Let’s go, to meet the bride,
♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah
171
00:19:14,525 --> 00:19:18,705
let's welcome the presence of Shabbat
♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah
172
00:19:18,759 --> 00:19:22,643
♪ Lechah dodi, liqrat kallah
173
00:19:22,851 --> 00:19:26,007
♪ p'nei shabat neqabelah*
174
00:19:26,338 --> 00:19:30,256
Say, Solomon, can't you make
an exception tonight?
175
00:19:30,342 --> 00:19:33,137
I'll give you two
Sabbaths off next week.
176
00:19:33,192 --> 00:19:35,839
Evidently, Sir doesn't
know the tradition.
177
00:19:35,864 --> 00:19:40,199
I don't know any of your
pantomimes and I'm proud of it!
178
00:19:41,896 --> 00:19:44,342
Sir isn't allowed to
eat meat on Friday.
179
00:19:44,406 --> 00:19:48,043
I'm not allowed to use electricity
Saturday. It's no dumber.
180
00:19:48,091 --> 00:19:51,006
- Yes it's dumber!
- No it's not dumber!
181
00:19:52,945 --> 00:19:55,310
- Yes it's dumber.
- No it's not dumber!
182
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:58,073
I tell you it is, and
give a week's notice!
183
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:02,484
-Have your Sabbath every night!
- Fine, as Monsieur wishes!
184
00:20:04,342 --> 00:20:05,988
Get out!
185
00:20:11,739 --> 00:20:14,153
Gdd... dmmn... yyyou!
186
00:20:47,668 --> 00:20:50,678
St Anthony of Padua,
let me find a tow truck
187
00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:54,261
so I can fix my boat, my car,
and hire a new chauffeur.
188
00:20:54,309 --> 00:20:56,869
A Catholic one, this time, I promise.
189
00:20:56,939 --> 00:21:00,040
Catholic like you, like me, like God.
190
00:21:01,233 --> 00:21:03,041
Oh, a light!
191
00:21:03,325 --> 00:21:05,384
Thank you, St Anthony.
192
00:21:22,969 --> 00:21:24,930
Anybody home?
193
00:21:27,376 --> 00:21:29,462
Concierge?
194
00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:38,842
Woah!
195
00:21:39,624 --> 00:21:41,316
Madame?
196
00:21:42,190 --> 00:21:43,940
Madame!
197
00:21:47,131 --> 00:21:48,771
Anybody home?
198
00:21:50,117 --> 00:21:52,349
Oh yeah, there's someone!
199
00:23:08,963 --> 00:23:11,692
You'll end up talking, Slimane.
200
00:23:14,074 --> 00:23:16,363
What day? ... The coup d'etat.
201
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:19,897
Which city? What time?
Which regiment?
202
00:23:22,613 --> 00:23:24,948
The password, Slimane.
203
00:23:25,453 --> 00:23:27,675
You can murder me, Fares,
204
00:23:27,898 --> 00:23:31,162
but you can't pass
yourself off as a judge.
205
00:23:47,410 --> 00:23:49,905
Ma t'Rhafeh! Slimane!*
206
00:23:50,496 --> 00:23:53,386
Halmatek! Smhat fik!*
207
00:23:53,411 --> 00:23:55,306
The people are with me.
208
00:23:55,392 --> 00:23:58,545
Yes, but power is at
the end of a gun.
209
00:23:58,611 --> 00:24:00,510
Mao Tse Tung!
210
00:24:05,603 --> 00:24:08,022
Mohammed Larbi Slimane,
211
00:24:08,856 --> 00:24:12,964
as a president of
this counter-revolutionary tribunal,
212
00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:17,886
I find you guilty of treason.
against our government
213
00:24:17,944 --> 00:24:20,911
- An toum houm el khawana!
- Habess!*
214
00:24:21,044 --> 00:24:24,758
- An toum houm el khawana!
- Oun ta put.*
215
00:24:24,910 --> 00:24:26,773
What's this mumbo-jumbo?
216
00:24:26,828 --> 00:24:28,580
Khawana!
217
00:24:31,832 --> 00:24:34,408
Gentlemen, your verdict.
218
00:24:38,894 --> 00:24:40,524
Death!
219
00:24:42,199 --> 00:24:45,784
Talk, Slimane, and
your life will be spared.
220
00:24:45,864 --> 00:24:50,590
A revolution is like a bicycle.
If it doesn't move forward, it falls.
221
00:24:50,781 --> 00:24:52,947
Eddy Merckx.
222
00:24:52,972 --> 00:24:55,237
No, Che Guevara.
223
00:25:30,201 --> 00:25:32,271
Sh, sh...
224
00:25:33,845 --> 00:25:35,212
Sh.
225
00:25:54,638 --> 00:25:56,888
The police ... 17 ?
226
00:26:14,683 --> 00:26:17,469
Now then, the police is 22...
227
00:26:17,582 --> 00:26:19,097
17
228
00:26:31,012 --> 00:26:32,432
Aziz.
229
00:26:35,487 --> 00:26:37,918
- Hello?
- Hello, police?
230
00:26:37,955 --> 00:26:39,323
Yes.
231
00:26:39,394 --> 00:26:43,696
- G-Get me the commissioner. Hurry.
- This is the commissioner.
232
00:26:43,767 --> 00:26:47,954
Come immediately to the
Yankee chewing-gum factory.
233
00:26:48,032 --> 00:26:50,965
- Chewing-gum?
- Yes, chewing-gum...
234
00:26:52,350 --> 00:26:54,546
And, who are you, sir?
235
00:26:54,577 --> 00:26:57,016
Victor Pivert.
Manufacturer in Paris
236
00:26:57,058 --> 00:27:00,484
- Pivert?
- Pivert. Like the green woodpecker.
237
00:27:06,823 --> 00:27:10,863
- I'm listening.
- I had a car accident.
238
00:27:11,011 --> 00:27:12,590
I was looking for help
239
00:27:12,636 --> 00:27:16,295
when I ran into a gang of Wogs
trying to kill each other.
240
00:27:16,388 --> 00:27:18,991
Wogs, you know, with brown faces.
241
00:27:19,402 --> 00:27:21,769
Where are you now?
242
00:27:21,831 --> 00:27:24,869
Here, in the factory office. Voila.
243
00:27:25,980 --> 00:27:29,886
Do not move. We're on our way.
244
00:27:30,112 --> 00:27:32,948
V-v-very nice of you.
245
00:27:35,504 --> 00:27:36,949
Hurry!
246
00:27:40,117 --> 00:27:43,800
Tell me M. Pivert;
the Wogs, did you see them?
247
00:27:43,855 --> 00:27:48,211
I sure I did! Especially a fat
oily one with his curly hair,
248
00:27:48,391 --> 00:27:51,917
and his tiny cruel eyes
and black sun glasses.
249
00:27:53,179 --> 00:27:55,043
A real killer's face!
250
00:27:55,121 --> 00:27:57,425
Let them settle their scores.
251
00:27:57,472 --> 00:28:01,167
Fine! There'll be fewer of them.
But not in our land.
252
00:28:01,222 --> 00:28:04,282
- Where are they?
- Right here!
253
00:28:22,849 --> 00:28:24,834
Smash the door !
*Kasser elbab!*
254
00:28:32,991 --> 00:28:34,502
I got him!
255
00:29:25,942 --> 00:29:27,653
Hey, hey!
256
00:29:28,106 --> 00:29:29,536
Hurry!
257
00:30:45,995 --> 00:30:47,425
Allez!
258
00:31:41,703 --> 00:31:42,953
He escaped!
259
00:31:42,985 --> 00:31:45,914
Couldn't help it, Colonel.
*Ou ana helech*
260
00:31:47,229 --> 00:31:48,872
Pivert, Victor Pivert.
261
00:31:48,897 --> 00:31:51,509
Black Citroen DS,
number 438ZA75.
262
00:31:51,541 --> 00:31:54,791
- At the river. 3 or 4 Kms.
- Are you coming?
263
00:31:54,847 --> 00:31:58,909
No, he fired me.
For all I care, he can run home.
264
00:32:32,337 --> 00:32:33,922
There he is!
265
00:33:19,540 --> 00:33:21,173
*Ha houwa! Ha!
266
00:33:58,668 --> 00:34:02,425
- What are you doing here?
- Shut up and don't move.
267
00:34:02,508 --> 00:34:06,871
I must return to my country
and you're gonna help me. - Me?! Oh...
268
00:34:17,286 --> 00:34:20,926
Pivert, Victor Pivert,
he just shot two men.
269
00:34:21,504 --> 00:34:23,731
Yes, a car on a boat.
270
00:34:23,843 --> 00:34:26,635
Put out an APB immediately!
271
00:34:28,097 --> 00:34:29,682
Europe flash.
272
00:34:31,581 --> 00:34:34,464
Mohamed Larbi Slimane,
famous 3rd World leader,
273
00:34:34,489 --> 00:34:37,345
kidnapped yesterday in Paris,
is still missing.
274
00:34:37,370 --> 00:34:42,190
meanwhile grave events in his
country have cut all communication.
275
00:34:42,255 --> 00:34:44,504
All France is following
this story...
276
00:34:44,604 --> 00:34:46,539
Let me call the police.
277
00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:49,956
They'll arrest Fares and let you
go home. - Police ?!
278
00:34:49,981 --> 00:34:52,993
They'll deliver me to our
government's 'maramouches'.
279
00:34:53,018 --> 00:34:56,254
- Maramouches ? - Killers.
- Fares?! - Colonel Fares.
280
00:34:56,300 --> 00:35:00,033
- So, everybody's against you?
- No, the people are with me.
281
00:35:00,111 --> 00:35:03,968
- And you can't lie to the people
all of the time! - Sure, you can! Easily.
282
00:35:03,993 --> 00:35:07,134
In my factory I lie
to the people all day.
283
00:35:07,329 --> 00:35:10,244
They love being lied to.
"The people!"
284
00:35:10,970 --> 00:35:13,051
We'll sweep out all that filth!
285
00:35:13,106 --> 00:35:17,083
If I can return tonight,
tomorrow, I'll be Prime Minister.
286
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:18,903
Prime Minister?
287
00:35:19,083 --> 00:35:23,058
I'm so happy to shake
a Prime Minister's revolver.
288
00:35:23,365 --> 00:35:25,504
So much for petroleum!
289
00:35:26,017 --> 00:35:28,244
Oh! No more gas.
290
00:35:28,644 --> 00:35:30,394
I have to stop.
291
00:35:39,155 --> 00:35:41,293
What can he be doing?
292
00:35:42,084 --> 00:35:43,667
Where can he be?
293
00:35:43,767 --> 00:35:47,741
- What's wrong with you today?
- My daughter's getting married.
294
00:35:47,782 --> 00:35:49,871
I'm open just as
a favour to you.
295
00:35:49,912 --> 00:35:53,674
- You call this a favour?
- Open your mouth and be quiet.
296
00:35:54,538 --> 00:35:58,459
Yes, M. Pivert's car?
Yes we placed the call.
297
00:36:01,161 --> 00:36:04,981
Madame? - Yes. - Hurry,
Monsieur is on the phone.
298
00:36:06,179 --> 00:36:08,498
Oh, hey, hey!
299
00:36:09,515 --> 00:36:12,617
Clamp down hard!
I'll be two minutes.
300
00:36:13,805 --> 00:36:15,055
Hello.
301
00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:16,805
Hello!
302
00:36:19,492 --> 00:36:22,141
- Don't answer.
- It must be my wife.
303
00:36:22,219 --> 00:36:25,886
She's jealous, if I don't answer,
she'll track me down.
304
00:36:25,969 --> 00:36:29,681
Fine, but one false move and...
305
00:36:33,027 --> 00:36:37,206
- Hello. Is that you, Germaine?
- It's 11 AM.
306
00:36:37,337 --> 00:36:42,233
I've been expecting you, between cavities.
Where'd you spend the night?
307
00:36:42,314 --> 00:36:46,110
- Say you're spending the weekend
with a woman. - Oh, no, I beg you.
308
00:36:46,168 --> 00:36:50,219
- You're taking the plane with me!
- I couldn't. - Go on! - Nuts!
309
00:36:50,279 --> 00:36:54,185
Germaine, I'm taking off
in a plane with a woman.
310
00:36:54,272 --> 00:36:58,364
- A woman? Are you crazy?
- Yes! Crazy about her.
311
00:36:58,442 --> 00:37:02,696
- What's she got that I don't?
- What's she got? She's got, haha...
312
00:37:03,825 --> 00:37:06,347
She's git big hairy hands,
313
00:37:06,457 --> 00:37:08,297
big feet...
314
00:37:08,477 --> 00:37:12,019
she has curls all over,
and a big moustache.
315
00:37:12,074 --> 00:37:13,641
What ?!
316
00:37:13,777 --> 00:37:16,800
Be convincing!
She must believe you.
317
00:37:16,957 --> 00:37:19,877
Yes I love her because
she doesn't get seasick,
318
00:37:19,918 --> 00:37:22,546
no grease on her face,
no hair-curlers
319
00:37:22,593 --> 00:37:24,202
no steel reinforced bra.
320
00:37:24,227 --> 00:37:27,312
I love the way she sings,
rubbing my back for hours,
321
00:37:27,337 --> 00:37:30,399
telling me I'm an athlete.
that I'm handsome,
322
00:37:30,424 --> 00:37:32,463
and that I'm 1.80 meters tall. Voila!
323
00:37:32,511 --> 00:37:35,507
Who is she? What's her name?
324
00:37:35,644 --> 00:37:38,555
What's her name? What's-her-name.
325
00:37:39,010 --> 00:37:40,941
- Say any name!
- Yeah...
326
00:37:42,369 --> 00:37:45,870
- Therese Leduc.
- Therese Leduc is 65 years old!
327
00:37:45,983 --> 00:37:48,445
Exactly. She's loved me
for 30 years,
328
00:37:48,470 --> 00:37:52,014
has never called me on the
phone and left me in peace.
329
00:37:52,203 --> 00:37:55,800
Did you see that? - What?
- I hung up, this time.
330
00:37:56,271 --> 00:38:00,840
Odile, I'm off to Orly, my husband
is there. Tell my daughter to wait.
331
00:38:00,948 --> 00:38:03,415
Pardor Madam. Pivert wedding?
332
00:38:03,586 --> 00:38:05,948
Yes, put it there, lad.
333
00:38:33,235 --> 00:38:36,859
Sorry, sir, the doctor isn't
receiving patients today.
334
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,342
Police Commissioner Andréani.
M. Pivert, please.
335
00:38:40,429 --> 00:38:43,325
M. Pivert isn't here.
What is it about?
336
00:38:45,308 --> 00:38:49,847
Don't worry. Mme. Pivert went
to meet her husband at Orly.
337
00:38:49,948 --> 00:38:52,340
She'll be back in two hours.
338
00:38:54,536 --> 00:38:58,722
To Orly Airport! Hurry, we gotta
nab him before he flies off.
339
00:38:59,978 --> 00:39:02,858
- Hurry up.
- One minute, Monsieur.
340
00:39:11,424 --> 00:39:13,468
That's 57 francs, Monsieur.
341
00:39:15,235 --> 00:39:17,873
Monsieur. What was your speed?
342
00:39:18,015 --> 00:39:19,652
What... eighty?
343
00:39:21,379 --> 00:39:22,871
That's 57.
344
00:39:23,364 --> 00:39:26,917
- Shall I check the oil?
- No need, it's fine, thanks.
345
00:39:27,426 --> 00:39:29,324
Thank you, Monsieur.
346
00:39:29,696 --> 00:39:32,494
- Got your papers?
- Yeah, sure.
347
00:40:00,035 --> 00:40:03,030
- What'd you do?
- Me? Nothing.
348
00:40:05,089 --> 00:40:09,082
- Taking the piss out of me
or my colleague? - Oh, both!
349
00:40:09,121 --> 00:40:11,371
No Officer, neither one.
350
00:40:11,431 --> 00:40:14,612
Yes, I'm taking the piss
out both of you!
351
00:40:15,688 --> 00:40:17,301
Turn a bit.
352
00:40:17,387 --> 00:40:20,090
- What's that?
- Where?
353
00:40:20,495 --> 00:40:23,840
- A wart.
- A wart? Oh!
354
00:40:24,925 --> 00:40:28,495
- Aww, that's not nice!
- I think it looks fine.
355
00:40:28,581 --> 00:40:31,386
Oh, no. Quite ugly...
356
00:40:31,931 --> 00:40:35,860
Look, two huge hairs
sticking out.
357
00:40:36,050 --> 00:40:38,153
- Yeah?
- Doesn't it hurt?
358
00:40:38,178 --> 00:40:39,941
- No.
- It doesn't?
359
00:40:39,976 --> 00:40:41,816
And if I do this?
360
00:40:44,233 --> 00:40:47,850
That's gotta hurt, dammit, huh?
361
00:40:48,053 --> 00:40:51,059
What's this about? Papers, now!
362
00:40:51,137 --> 00:40:54,192
I always drive without them.
No drivers license,
363
00:40:54,270 --> 00:40:57,637
no grey slip, no sticker, no insurance.
Arrest me.
364
00:40:57,716 --> 00:41:00,566
You'll pay dearly for that.
- Arrest me.
365
00:41:00,678 --> 00:41:04,316
- What's your name?
- Pivert. Like the woodpecker.
366
00:41:19,831 --> 00:41:21,438
Fill'er up?
367
00:41:24,004 --> 00:41:26,121
Step on it, it's Fares!
368
00:41:26,234 --> 00:41:28,285
That's enough. Get out.
369
00:41:28,636 --> 00:41:30,511
Put it in first!
370
00:41:35,531 --> 00:41:37,633
*Teba, teba. Hou, hou!
371
00:41:46,851 --> 00:41:48,894
*
372
00:42:19,360 --> 00:42:23,563
Ladies and gentlemen we are
arriving at Paris Orly airport.
373
00:42:23,659 --> 00:42:25,064
It's 11:25...
374
00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:28,835
Please, gentlemen sit down
and fasten your seatbelts.
375
00:42:28,875 --> 00:42:30,444
Sit down, Samuel
376
00:42:30,499 --> 00:42:33,731
My French family is
waiting for me below. - I see.
377
00:42:33,785 --> 00:42:36,355
- I came for the bar mitzvah.
- Interesting.
378
00:42:36,418 --> 00:42:39,488
The communion, of my
nephew, little David.
379
00:42:39,613 --> 00:42:41,549
He's already thirteen.
380
00:42:43,294 --> 00:42:44,958
Ah, Samuel.
381
00:42:47,300 --> 00:42:50,994
David, don't start your nonsense.
Go there and be quiet!
382
00:42:52,829 --> 00:42:55,349
Mom, how will we
recognise uncle Jacob?
383
00:42:55,374 --> 00:42:59,219
No one's seen him except
grandma Tzipe and she can't see.
384
00:42:59,274 --> 00:43:01,308
Waddaya mean I can't hear?!
385
00:43:01,379 --> 00:43:05,814
To honor Uncle Jacod we shoulda got
Solomon to drive him in his boss' car.
386
00:43:05,822 --> 00:43:08,529
He can't. He got canned yesterday.
387
00:43:08,639 --> 00:43:12,150
- What?
- His boss fired him yesterday.
388
00:43:12,225 --> 00:43:17,648
I always said M. Piverte
is a very nice man!
389
00:43:21,087 --> 00:43:24,391
Don't push!
Why must I bring my case?
390
00:43:24,416 --> 00:43:27,905
- 'Cause we're both going.
- No, you go do your revolution
391
00:43:27,912 --> 00:43:30,250
I'll go marry off my daughter.
392
00:43:30,289 --> 00:43:33,269
If things get ugly, you can serve
as my hostage. Move!
393
00:43:39,254 --> 00:43:43,150
Arriving from Frankfurt,
flight AF-741,
394
00:43:43,321 --> 00:43:45,212
gate 45.
395
00:43:55,071 --> 00:43:57,241
No funny faces or you're dead.
396
00:43:57,329 --> 00:43:59,970
- I never pull funny faces!
- Stop it!
397
00:44:00,024 --> 00:44:02,561
- Look at him. Look!
- What?
398
00:44:02,651 --> 00:44:04,493
The security guard.
399
00:44:04,711 --> 00:44:07,033
He's huge. I'm puny.
400
00:44:07,390 --> 00:44:10,095
That's a proper hostage!
401
00:44:35,761 --> 00:44:38,488
- What is it?
- See that? - What?
402
00:44:38,533 --> 00:44:40,776
- She's a redhead.
- So?
403
00:44:43,683 --> 00:44:45,518
Be good baby.
404
00:44:49,996 --> 00:44:52,871
How lovely! Cute.
405
00:44:55,591 --> 00:44:57,621
What's his name?
406
00:45:04,557 --> 00:45:06,401
Do you have a light?
407
00:45:12,778 --> 00:45:14,955
Of course he has a light!
408
00:45:21,495 --> 00:45:23,214
Take that!
409
00:45:23,685 --> 00:45:26,168
You think that's
funny, imbecile?
410
00:45:26,208 --> 00:45:27,636
Imbecile!
411
00:45:59,030 --> 00:46:00,472
There it is!
412
00:46:00,566 --> 00:46:03,261
The plane from New York
just landed.
413
00:46:03,324 --> 00:46:05,259
Hurry, you're too slow!
414
00:46:05,317 --> 00:46:07,776
We have time, it won't fly away.
415
00:46:07,823 --> 00:46:09,385
Hurry!
416
00:46:10,849 --> 00:46:13,258
- David, come here.
- Hurry up.
417
00:46:13,297 --> 00:46:14,954
Look, cheri!
418
00:46:15,003 --> 00:46:17,891
Look, there he is. It must be him.
419
00:46:17,970 --> 00:46:20,807
Jacob, uncle Jacob!
420
00:46:21,252 --> 00:46:23,871
Where is Jacob? I don't see him.
421
00:46:24,043 --> 00:46:27,761
That's the wrong direction.
Look down there!
422
00:46:32,523 --> 00:46:34,639
Passenger Pivert...
423
00:46:35,563 --> 00:46:37,482
Passenger Pivert.
424
00:46:38,113 --> 00:46:43,759
Would M. Pivert, come to
the information counter!
425
00:46:43,837 --> 00:46:47,236
- They're here.
- Arkoum, Slimane and Pivert.
426
00:46:49,308 --> 00:46:53,044
Division chief! Good timing.
They just paged Pivert.
427
00:46:53,119 --> 00:46:55,731
Block the exits and let's go!
428
00:46:55,795 --> 00:46:58,310
But, careful, he's a killer!
429
00:46:58,457 --> 00:47:00,817
Please, Mlle, try again.
430
00:47:01,309 --> 00:47:04,082
Would passenger Piver...
431
00:47:04,700 --> 00:47:07,895
Victor, come back. Victor!
432
00:47:11,454 --> 00:47:13,813
- Victor
- Oh my god it's Germaine!
433
00:47:13,838 --> 00:47:16,524
It's your wife calling.
I beg you.
434
00:47:16,576 --> 00:47:20,264
Shut up and tell me
where you are! Germaine?
435
00:47:22,344 --> 00:47:23,923
Germaine?
436
00:47:26,579 --> 00:47:28,511
I forgive you, Victor.
437
00:47:28,582 --> 00:47:32,589
Don't leave with Thérèse Leduc
on your daughter's wedding day.
438
00:47:32,666 --> 00:47:34,590
Victor, do you hear me?
439
00:47:34,981 --> 00:47:36,762
Victor, do you hear me?
440
00:47:36,842 --> 00:47:41,138
Yes, I hear you.
Not so loud, I'm coming.
441
00:47:41,544 --> 00:47:43,222
My microph...!
442
00:47:43,302 --> 00:47:48,293
Your husband's not leaving YOU
for Therese Leduc. Gimme that!
443
00:47:53,782 --> 00:47:56,064
- Germaine.
- Victor!
444
00:47:56,178 --> 00:47:59,600
Victor! - Gimme the mike,
I have an announcement.
445
00:47:59,662 --> 00:48:03,599
I have one too. And more
important than yours.
446
00:48:22,910 --> 00:48:25,713
Oh, it's you! I thought
it was a 'maramouche'.
447
00:48:25,745 --> 00:48:27,995
- Is Fares here?
- Yeah, he wants to...
448
00:48:28,043 --> 00:48:32,285
- C'mon!
- Wait, let me look first.
449
00:48:53,030 --> 00:48:55,172
- Open up!
- No!
450
00:48:59,081 --> 00:49:02,315
- Open!
- There's no one here.
451
00:49:03,433 --> 00:49:06,855
- Open, I say!
- I can't, it's occupied.
452
00:49:07,763 --> 00:49:10,265
- Open.
- Hear that?
453
00:49:12,247 --> 00:49:15,573
Sir, is your friend sick?
454
00:49:16,295 --> 00:49:18,236
Can we help?
455
00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:22,526
It seems, you can.
456
00:49:47,439 --> 00:49:50,003
Lowlife! Get out!
457
00:51:08,844 --> 00:51:12,008
Me, as a rabbi.
It's really the limit!
458
00:51:12,972 --> 00:51:14,836
Wait.
459
00:51:27,414 --> 00:51:28,943
Jacob!
460
00:51:29,725 --> 00:51:31,334
Jacob!
461
00:51:33,553 --> 00:51:35,224
It is him!
462
00:51:36,256 --> 00:51:37,748
Jacob!
463
00:51:41,051 --> 00:51:42,598
Uncle Jacob!
464
00:51:43,815 --> 00:51:45,104
Uncle Jacob!
465
00:51:45,174 --> 00:51:47,267
Dear, let me shalom him too.
466
00:51:47,369 --> 00:51:49,316
- Shalom.
- Shalom.
467
00:51:49,456 --> 00:51:53,675
SHALOM!
468
00:51:53,793 --> 00:51:56,524
I'd recognise him among thousands.
469
00:51:56,549 --> 00:52:00,238
Spitting image of his brother,
my husband, bless his soul.
470
00:52:00,308 --> 00:52:04,351
- Is he also a Schmoll?
- A schmoll?
471
00:52:04,434 --> 00:52:06,320
Yes, who is he, uncle?
472
00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:07,703
Yes, he's right.
473
00:52:07,728 --> 00:52:11,636
He asked who he is
and deserves an answer.
474
00:52:11,675 --> 00:52:13,308
You asked about him?
475
00:52:13,363 --> 00:52:16,426
He's my secretary,
chauffeur and porter.
476
00:52:16,509 --> 00:52:18,085
Take my suitcase.
477
00:52:18,239 --> 00:52:21,473
- What's his name?
- Him, up there?
478
00:52:21,519 --> 00:52:26,355
His name is Larbi Rabbi mm... Slimann.
With 'mann' on the end.
479
00:52:26,426 --> 00:52:28,269
Seligmann!
480
00:52:28,358 --> 00:52:32,332
- Rabbi Seligmann. Enchantee.
- Madame.
481
00:52:32,419 --> 00:52:33,995
Come, Jacob,
482
00:52:34,035 --> 00:52:36,597
Tell me, how are they all in New York?
*Sag mir wie geht es alles in New York?
483
00:52:36,706 --> 00:52:39,362
And what's the whole family doing?
Und was macht die ganze mischpokhe?
484
00:52:39,387 --> 00:52:41,335
- Geht, geht?
- Geht, geht!
485
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:43,236
- Ja, ja?
- Ja, ja!*
486
00:52:45,048 --> 00:52:47,190
Why don't you have a beard?
487
00:52:47,243 --> 00:52:50,447
I lent it to someone
who didn't have one.
488
00:52:50,621 --> 00:52:55,644
That Seligman is not just anybody.
A rabbi who is a chauffeur !
489
00:52:55,841 --> 00:52:59,894
Jacob, you have a funny accent
in French.
490
00:53:00,058 --> 00:53:01,803
- You think?
- Yes, yes.
491
00:53:01,857 --> 00:53:04,225
You've become a real American.
492
00:53:04,286 --> 00:53:08,410
You want I should teach
you good French? - Yes, yes, yes.
493
00:53:08,501 --> 00:53:13,897
I know a good exercise.
Pronounce the names of fuhz.
494
00:53:13,999 --> 00:53:15,366
Fuzz?
495
00:53:15,421 --> 00:53:19,141
- Coats made from fuhz.
- Ah, furs!
496
00:53:19,202 --> 00:53:21,268
- Try.
- Yes.
497
00:53:28,731 --> 00:53:30,949
Minkh.
498
00:53:32,496 --> 00:53:35,200
Chinchilla.
499
00:53:35,300 --> 00:53:37,386
Musket rats.
500
00:53:41,706 --> 00:53:44,448
- Fuchs
- Fuchs.
501
00:53:44,613 --> 00:53:46,808
The silver fuchs.
502
00:53:46,909 --> 00:53:50,347
- The painter.
- The painter.
503
00:53:51,016 --> 00:53:53,993
No, a painter. The animal.
504
00:53:54,085 --> 00:53:56,141
Panther. Dit, dit, dit...
505
00:53:56,236 --> 00:53:57,892
Grrr!
506
00:53:59,167 --> 00:54:01,003
Very good, Jacob!
507
00:54:01,784 --> 00:54:04,671
- Madame Pivert?
- That's me.
508
00:54:05,218 --> 00:54:08,793
Police. Your husband
is waiting in his car.
509
00:54:08,872 --> 00:54:10,566
My Victor!
510
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:14,400
I knew, at the last minute,
he'd change his mind.
511
00:54:14,425 --> 00:54:16,934
But, police ?! Why?
512
00:54:17,657 --> 00:54:22,133
- M. Pivert is in a real mess.
- Therese Leduc, I knew it!
513
00:54:22,336 --> 00:54:24,234
C'mon, let's go!
514
00:54:33,183 --> 00:54:35,619
Where's Victor? Hey, let go of me!
515
00:54:35,714 --> 00:54:38,315
- Get in!
- It's an ambush!
516
00:54:39,621 --> 00:54:41,261
Officer!
517
00:54:42,300 --> 00:54:45,152
Mme Pivert,
which way did she go ?
518
00:54:45,230 --> 00:54:48,072
I dunno! That way,
or the other way.
519
00:54:48,115 --> 00:54:51,293
- I can't watch everybody!
- Exactly, watch everybody!
520
00:54:51,303 --> 00:54:53,168
- Commissioner!
- Yeah!
521
00:54:53,215 --> 00:54:57,137
We found two rabbis,
tied and gagged, in the toilets.
522
00:54:57,222 --> 00:55:00,298
Two rabbis?
- They stole their clothes and shaved them.
523
00:55:00,330 --> 00:55:03,050
- Who did it?
- A big guy with black hair.
524
00:55:03,096 --> 00:55:06,465
And a short bald guy,
with blue eyes. - Pivert, again!
525
00:55:06,534 --> 00:55:09,580
- It might be...
- Slimane? Sure! Hurry!
526
00:55:19,859 --> 00:55:23,500
Excuse me, this is a celebrity.
Excuse me.
527
00:55:23,680 --> 00:55:26,723
Get in, uncle Jacob.
I'll buy the tickets.
528
00:55:28,458 --> 00:55:30,003
Go ahead.
529
00:55:34,709 --> 00:55:36,379
You're very kind.
530
00:55:36,441 --> 00:55:37,816
And...
531
00:55:37,841 --> 00:55:41,942
you're the best looking Jew
I've seen, in a long time.
532
00:55:41,967 --> 00:55:44,278
Pretty eyes, lovely teeth!
533
00:55:44,310 --> 00:55:47,825
Come, let me kiss you.
You're so cute!
534
00:55:49,518 --> 00:55:53,221
You too, Mme Schmoll, must've been
a knock-out. - Ahh!
535
00:55:53,277 --> 00:55:55,939
Do you know how many
marriages I arranged
536
00:55:55,964 --> 00:55:58,422
on Rue des Rosiers?... 43!
537
00:55:58,517 --> 00:56:00,282
118 children.
538
00:56:00,371 --> 00:56:02,759
2 ½ children per couple.
539
00:56:03,234 --> 00:56:05,886
- Are you married?
- No.
540
00:56:06,027 --> 00:56:10,199
What do you like in a girlfriend,
blondes, brunettes?...
541
00:56:10,418 --> 00:56:12,566
- Redheads.
- I have!
542
00:56:12,675 --> 00:56:16,735
30 years away from Paris,
and nobody comes to meet me!
543
00:56:16,811 --> 00:56:21,695
- Maybe they didn't get your telegram.
- 8 telegrams, I sent. Eight!
544
00:56:22,171 --> 00:56:25,004
They must have got one!
545
00:56:29,083 --> 00:56:31,825
- You see the violin case?
- Yes Chief.
546
00:56:31,911 --> 00:56:34,747
And what's inside a violin case?
547
00:56:35,138 --> 00:56:36,824
Um... ♪ La-la, la-la...
548
00:56:36,919 --> 00:56:40,194
No, imbecile! A... t-t-t-t...
549
00:56:41,372 --> 00:56:44,018
Cover me. I'm going in.
550
00:56:47,349 --> 00:56:50,404
Hmm... The address is
'8 Rue des Rosiers'.
551
00:56:50,482 --> 00:56:53,740
Now, I need to find
the phone number.
552
00:56:56,988 --> 00:56:59,027
My respects, Grand Rabbi.
553
00:56:59,099 --> 00:57:02,737
Ah, Samuel, I told you
they'd come get us?
554
00:57:02,787 --> 00:57:04,965
Police. Commissioner Andreani.
555
00:57:05,013 --> 00:57:08,293
- The Police!
- A great honour!
556
00:57:08,355 --> 00:57:12,261
It's not every day I meet two,
such sought after, rabbis.
557
00:57:12,325 --> 00:57:15,816
Bless you my son.
May the Eternal be with you.
558
00:57:15,894 --> 00:57:17,869
Don't touch my violin.
559
00:57:17,949 --> 00:57:21,704
- Don't take me for a fool, Pivert.
- Piverte?!
560
00:57:21,941 --> 00:57:23,323
Say,...
561
00:57:23,402 --> 00:57:27,457
that's some patriarchal
beard you glued on!
562
00:57:28,718 --> 00:57:30,500
- May I touch it?
- Oi!
563
00:57:30,754 --> 00:57:32,496
Oi!
564
00:57:32,978 --> 00:57:34,587
Excuse me, sir...
565
00:57:47,596 --> 00:57:49,241
- Solomon!
- Yeah?
566
00:57:49,281 --> 00:57:52,456
- Telephone, in your room!
- Coming!
567
00:57:57,876 --> 00:57:59,290
Hello.
568
00:57:59,509 --> 00:58:00,947
Who?...
569
00:58:01,361 --> 00:58:03,103
Uncle Jacob?
570
00:58:03,548 --> 00:58:06,648
No, it's Solomon. Did you
have a good voyage?
571
00:58:06,694 --> 00:58:10,390
No, I did not have a good voyage.
I had a very bad voyage!
572
00:58:10,444 --> 00:58:12,468
- Where are you?
- At Orly!
573
00:58:12,530 --> 00:58:14,512
30 years I haven't been to Paris
574
00:58:14,537 --> 00:58:16,352
and the police picks up!
575
00:58:16,391 --> 00:58:18,223
It's all in order, Chief.
576
00:58:18,272 --> 00:58:21,344
- Excuse us, it's an error.
- Thanks.
577
00:58:21,455 --> 00:58:23,555
What's with you people?!
578
00:58:23,595 --> 00:58:27,656
Uncle Jacob, I don't understand.
There must be an error.
579
00:58:32,166 --> 00:58:36,429
It's Rabbi Jacob in the taxi.
Come down Solomon!
580
00:58:40,486 --> 00:58:42,197
What the?..
581
00:58:42,853 --> 00:58:46,447
Listen, you on the phone,
stop being a jerk!
582
00:58:46,540 --> 00:58:49,737
- Jerk?
- Today, of all days, really!
583
00:58:49,831 --> 00:58:51,339
Imbecile!
584
00:58:52,511 --> 00:58:54,355
Long live Rabbi Jacob!
585
00:58:54,418 --> 00:58:56,619
Solomon's 'gone crazy'!
*is geworden meshugge
586
00:58:56,652 --> 00:58:59,582
- 'Totally crazy', Rabbi. - Jerk.
*Ganz meshugge
587
00:58:59,892 --> 00:59:02,925
Shalom, uncle Jacob, shalom!
588
00:59:06,754 --> 00:59:09,561
You should bless them,
uncle Jacob.
589
00:59:11,459 --> 00:59:13,959
That's why they came,
you know.
590
00:59:14,128 --> 00:59:17,394
Such modesty. He's a modist!
591
00:59:20,081 --> 00:59:21,733
Stand up, uncle Jacob.
592
00:59:21,758 --> 00:59:24,309
They wanna welcome you.
Go on.
593
00:59:24,479 --> 00:59:27,147
Stick your head outside.
594
01:00:04,635 --> 01:00:07,803
Not like that.
D'you think you're in Rome?!
595
01:00:11,136 --> 01:00:12,667
It's all your fault.
596
01:00:12,718 --> 01:00:15,832
Wait till I tell them who you are.
You'll see!
597
01:00:19,992 --> 01:00:22,904
Silence! Quiet!
598
01:00:23,677 --> 01:00:26,229
Silence. Quiet!
599
01:00:27,436 --> 01:00:30,215
We welcome you, Rabbi Jacob,
600
01:00:30,270 --> 01:00:32,571
venerable teacher,
601
01:00:32,887 --> 01:00:35,004
well of knowledge,
602
01:00:35,246 --> 01:00:37,450
celestial luminary.
603
01:00:37,552 --> 01:00:40,678
Hear that? Now, that's good!
Very good!
604
01:00:44,823 --> 01:00:50,472
As a souvenir of this day,
accept this modest 'Shtreimel'.
605
01:01:00,037 --> 01:01:02,931
Oh, lovely Shtreimel!
606
01:01:03,545 --> 01:01:07,222
It's mink. I'll wear it every Sunday.
607
01:01:12,488 --> 01:01:14,426
Saturday, not Sunday!
608
01:01:14,574 --> 01:01:17,777
He said Sunday, but it's not.
It's Saturday.
609
01:01:21,405 --> 01:01:23,824
Silence. Silence.
610
01:01:25,202 --> 01:01:28,629
Rabbi Jacob will speak now.
611
01:01:30,380 --> 01:01:32,341
Go on, say something.
612
01:01:42,670 --> 01:01:44,580
My dear Rosenfelds.
613
01:01:50,189 --> 01:01:54,243
My dear Rozenbergs.
614
01:01:56,813 --> 01:02:00,224
My dear Koshers.
615
01:02:02,900 --> 01:02:04,566
Not that.
616
01:02:09,124 --> 01:02:12,169
How about that? My dear Levi's.
617
01:02:17,527 --> 01:02:19,512
Dear Levi's.
618
01:02:20,630 --> 01:02:22,674
Keep the rest.
619
01:02:23,421 --> 01:02:27,786
Uncle Jacob, a thousand excuses.
You must get off.
620
01:02:27,818 --> 01:02:31,708
- The taxi has to leave. - Yes, yes.
- He's getting out.
621
01:02:31,762 --> 01:02:34,472
- What if they ask me stuff?
- Do as they do.
622
01:02:34,507 --> 01:02:36,949
Ask a Jew anything,
he always answers
623
01:02:36,988 --> 01:02:39,947
with another question,
to buy time to think.
624
01:02:40,042 --> 01:02:41,597
Oh, yeah?
625
01:02:53,392 --> 01:02:55,211
Monsieur!
626
01:03:04,405 --> 01:03:08,237
- Jacob, do you recognise me?
- And do you recognise me?
627
01:03:08,314 --> 01:03:10,182
- No.
- Good!
628
01:03:12,228 --> 01:03:14,960
We have a thousand
questions for you.
629
01:03:15,016 --> 01:03:17,192
Well I have two thousand.
630
01:03:17,248 --> 01:03:19,700
- Rabbi Jacob!
- Yes.
631
01:03:21,260 --> 01:03:23,570
My driver. He recognises me.
632
01:03:23,595 --> 01:03:26,316
I only have one question.
633
01:03:26,820 --> 01:03:30,386
My boss fired me for
refusing to work Saturdays.
634
01:03:30,504 --> 01:03:32,660
What would you do in my place?
635
01:03:32,722 --> 01:03:36,183
Ask him to take you back.
He'll say yes!
636
01:03:36,340 --> 01:03:39,909
Ask for a raise. He'll say yes!
637
01:03:40,018 --> 01:03:42,831
- Double my pay?
- He'll say yes!
638
01:03:42,912 --> 01:03:45,683
- Triple?
- He... He'll say no.
639
01:03:50,207 --> 01:03:53,085
'Monsieur' didn't tell me
he was Jewish.
640
01:03:53,157 --> 01:03:55,832
Yesterday I wasn't, that's why.
641
01:03:57,250 --> 01:04:00,977
I beg you Solomon don't tell.
The police, the 'maramouches'.
642
01:04:01,018 --> 01:04:03,952
- Everyone wants my hide.
- What has 'Monsieur' done?
643
01:04:03,977 --> 01:04:05,973
Nothing Solomon I'm innocent.
644
01:04:06,002 --> 01:04:09,043
They need a scapegoat.
And I'm the goat.
645
01:04:09,168 --> 01:04:10,699
Ba-ah-a...
646
01:04:10,769 --> 01:04:12,798
Hide me, and I'll re-hire you.
647
01:04:12,860 --> 01:04:16,269
I'll give you all the holidays
Jewish, Catholic and Protestant!
648
01:04:16,294 --> 01:04:19,322
Plus every Sabbath and Sunday.
649
01:04:19,374 --> 01:04:21,710
And the Muslim holidays?
650
01:04:22,639 --> 01:04:25,417
Eh?... Do Muslims have holidays?
651
01:04:25,529 --> 01:04:28,962
What about him,
Mohammed Larbi Slimane?
652
01:04:29,426 --> 01:04:32,410
- Why's he here?
- Who?
653
01:04:32,589 --> 01:04:35,809
Rabbi Seligmann,
654
01:04:36,252 --> 01:04:38,924
- It's done, I found one.
- What?
655
01:04:38,949 --> 01:04:40,793
- A real redhead.
- Ahh!
656
01:04:40,956 --> 01:04:42,339
Look.
657
01:04:44,240 --> 01:04:46,722
She's called Hannah.
658
01:04:46,795 --> 01:04:48,720
Say hello.
659
01:04:55,163 --> 01:04:59,007
Mameh, it's fine.
They're all ready.
660
01:04:59,995 --> 01:05:04,251
Silence, silence!
661
01:05:05,188 --> 01:05:08,858
Rabbi Jacob will dance!
662
01:05:09,488 --> 01:05:12,496
- No, no.
- Rabbi Jacob's a good dancer!
663
01:05:38,362 --> 01:05:40,425
Hoi! Hoi!
664
01:07:18,615 --> 01:07:20,678
Ah, Monsieur has a real gift!
665
01:07:20,731 --> 01:07:23,544
It was a miracle, Solomon.
A miracle!
666
01:07:25,795 --> 01:07:27,561
Bravo!
667
01:07:31,557 --> 01:07:35,000
You went to Orly, because
you knew Pivert was there!
668
01:07:35,057 --> 01:07:37,455
I thought he was leaving
with Therese Leduc.
669
01:07:37,508 --> 01:07:40,118
On his daughter's wedding day?...
Drill !
670
01:07:40,183 --> 01:07:43,162
No, not the drill,
I can't stand it!
671
01:07:48,269 --> 01:07:49,957
He's with Slimane.
672
01:07:50,019 --> 01:07:51,746
Where are they?
673
01:07:55,685 --> 01:07:57,386
Hello. Hello!
674
01:07:57,441 --> 01:08:01,705
Is this 749-28-27? Hello.
Who's speaking?
675
01:08:01,819 --> 01:08:03,895
Answer. But watch it!
676
01:08:04,139 --> 01:08:07,973
- Germaine? It's me, Victor.
- Ah Victor, it's you.
677
01:08:08,418 --> 01:08:10,418
- Ask where he is.
- No!
678
01:08:10,466 --> 01:08:12,581
Hello? Hello? Hello!
679
01:08:13,742 --> 01:08:16,308
Germaine turn off
the drill, dammit!
680
01:08:16,339 --> 01:08:18,188
Can you hear me, or not?
681
01:08:18,295 --> 01:08:19,797
Where are you, cheri?
682
01:08:19,829 --> 01:08:22,426
Hiding with some Jewish friends.
683
01:08:22,490 --> 01:08:24,605
You have Jewish friends? You?!
684
01:08:24,687 --> 01:08:28,308
'Course I have Jewish fr...
What do you mean by that?
685
01:08:28,355 --> 01:08:31,136
Say the police is here
and let me speak to him.
686
01:08:31,183 --> 01:08:34,603
The police is here.
They wanna speak to you.
687
01:08:34,933 --> 01:08:38,303
Hello, M. Pivert,
I'm the Commissioner.
688
01:08:38,417 --> 01:08:40,954
I recognize your voice,
Commissioner.
689
01:08:41,009 --> 01:08:43,102
I'm so happy to hear you!
690
01:08:43,151 --> 01:08:46,540
Same here.
Where are you M. Pivert?
691
01:08:46,712 --> 01:08:48,715
Listen, I know the killers.
692
01:08:48,788 --> 01:08:51,632
You can nab the whole smalah*.
693
01:08:51,682 --> 01:08:54,703
- Their leader is called Fares.
- Oh, yeah?
694
01:08:55,286 --> 01:08:57,495
I'll give you his description.
695
01:08:57,583 --> 01:08:59,872
Fat, greasy, curly hair,
696
01:08:59,942 --> 01:09:03,411
small cruel eyes piercing
through dark glasses.
697
01:09:03,786 --> 01:09:06,465
- A true killer's face.
- Voila!
698
01:09:06,773 --> 01:09:09,449
I am at "Etoile de Kiev".
699
01:09:11,222 --> 01:09:14,837
It's a restaurant, a delikatessen,
700
01:09:14,915 --> 01:09:17,815
Rue des Rosiers number eight...
701
01:09:17,885 --> 01:09:19,363
Oight, oight!
702
01:09:19,511 --> 01:09:22,380
- Shalom, Rabbi.
- Shalom, my son. - Shalom.
703
01:09:22,425 --> 01:09:24,675
Shalom, not you, him.
704
01:09:24,909 --> 01:09:26,555
OK...
705
01:09:26,623 --> 01:09:29,534
OK, you ask for Rabbi Jacob.
706
01:09:29,613 --> 01:09:32,211
And Rabbi Jacob, is me.
707
01:09:32,266 --> 01:09:34,680
Is Slimane with you?
708
01:09:36,406 --> 01:09:37,883
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
709
01:09:37,930 --> 01:09:41,485
They're marrying him off
to a redhead, outside.
710
01:09:41,589 --> 01:09:45,116
Don't move M. Pivert,
we're coming. - Yes!
711
01:09:45,172 --> 01:09:46,712
Jacob!
712
01:09:46,899 --> 01:09:50,790
Jacob! Have you heard
the news? - No.
713
01:09:50,899 --> 01:09:52,915
Hannah's engaged.
714
01:09:52,959 --> 01:09:56,988
If Rabbi Jacob gives
his blessing. - Pfft!
715
01:09:57,294 --> 01:09:59,707
What a cute goil!
716
01:10:03,832 --> 01:10:07,745
So, are you happy?
Look at her. Tiddly-diggety-dee!
717
01:10:07,867 --> 01:10:10,386
And you... Mmmmm!
718
01:10:11,427 --> 01:10:13,846
Rabbi Jacob says YES!
719
01:10:15,411 --> 01:10:18,153
Voila. He's so happy.
720
01:10:22,864 --> 01:10:26,214
Today of all days,
to pull THIS on me!
721
01:10:35,341 --> 01:10:37,563
Papa's disappeared.
722
01:10:40,140 --> 01:10:41,804
Mama!
723
01:11:05,014 --> 01:11:06,744
Antoinette!
724
01:11:07,679 --> 01:11:10,135
*
725
01:11:40,538 --> 01:11:42,019
I can't do it.
726
01:11:42,105 --> 01:11:44,879
- Are you Rabbi Jacob or not?
- Yes, but not here!
727
01:11:44,945 --> 01:11:48,282
- Play along, I beg you.
- You're safe with us.
728
01:11:48,307 --> 01:11:51,708
Uncle Jacob? - Yes.
- we cleared the way.
729
01:11:56,384 --> 01:11:59,551
- What should we do?
- Do like everyone else.
730
01:11:59,614 --> 01:12:04,335
- How does a Jewish Communion work?
- It works out alright.
731
01:12:09,511 --> 01:12:13,480
As soon as my wife gets here,
I'm off to church!
732
01:12:23,901 --> 01:12:26,292
Bless me, uncle Jacob.
733
01:12:32,166 --> 01:12:34,376
I bless you, David.
734
01:12:40,402 --> 01:12:43,114
You too, Rabbi Seligmann.
735
01:12:47,557 --> 01:12:50,136
God be with you, David.
736
01:12:50,144 --> 01:12:54,106
*
737
01:12:57,735 --> 01:12:59,486
- Pssst!
- Amen!
738
01:13:00,558 --> 01:13:04,057
- Pssst! Hey.
- What is it?
739
01:13:04,182 --> 01:13:09,203
Rabbi Jacob's wanted on the phone.
It's urgent. From Madame Pivert.
740
01:13:10,220 --> 01:13:12,027
I'm coming.
741
01:13:22,965 --> 01:13:25,613
Amen!
742
01:13:26,883 --> 01:13:28,873
Did you hear? They say amen.
743
01:13:28,951 --> 01:13:31,261
Great! Same as us.
744
01:13:31,425 --> 01:13:33,679
I beg you Solomon,
warn Monsieur!
745
01:13:33,730 --> 01:13:36,187
There are 3.
Their boss is called Fares.
746
01:13:36,222 --> 01:13:38,550
Three killers? Here?
747
01:13:41,773 --> 01:13:45,550
They want to assassinate him.
Hurry they're on their way!
748
01:13:45,597 --> 01:13:48,035
No, Madame, they're here.
749
01:13:59,789 --> 01:14:02,625
*
750
01:14:10,934 --> 01:14:13,194
Mazel tov, my son.
751
01:14:25,848 --> 01:14:29,915
*♪ Ya mod, Rabbi Jacob.
752
01:14:32,860 --> 01:14:36,453
What's he saying? - Eh?
What's he saying?
753
01:14:37,276 --> 01:14:41,927
He says, without imposing, uncle Jacob,
it's your turn to read the Torah.
754
01:14:41,988 --> 01:14:44,238
I can't, it's too great an honour.
755
01:14:44,325 --> 01:14:47,238
I'm even more overcome than you.
756
01:14:47,344 --> 01:14:49,840
You too, Rabbi Seligman.
- No. - Yes!
757
01:14:49,922 --> 01:14:52,886
What an honour for my family
and me!
758
01:14:53,804 --> 01:14:55,902
Please, Rabbi Jacob.
759
01:15:22,376 --> 01:15:24,035
It's Hebrew.
760
01:15:24,081 --> 01:15:27,000
Read from right to left,
like Arabic.
761
01:15:28,035 --> 01:15:31,658
I'll give the honour
to Rabbi Seligmann.
762
01:15:31,845 --> 01:15:34,236
He'll read in Hebrew.
763
01:15:34,424 --> 01:15:37,806
The glasses. And the hand.
764
01:15:38,220 --> 01:15:41,895
There... You read it from right to left.
765
01:15:45,256 --> 01:15:48,674
- Think they're in there, Chief?
- It's possible.
766
01:15:48,830 --> 01:15:53,706
Careful, it's like a church.
So... tact and delicacy!
767
01:15:57,367 --> 01:15:59,256
Your hats.
768
01:16:07,332 --> 01:16:09,212
Fares is in the synagogue.
769
01:16:09,274 --> 01:16:11,769
- Fares?
- Leave it to me.
770
01:16:19,633 --> 01:16:21,957
- Hats.
- Hats.
771
01:16:22,725 --> 01:16:24,601
Hats!
772
01:16:26,973 --> 01:16:30,136
Silence. Silence!
773
01:16:31,722 --> 01:16:33,621
*Brothers...
774
01:16:33,730 --> 01:16:37,168
the three men
that have just come in
775
01:16:37,268 --> 01:16:41,478
are not here to pray.
They're assassins!
776
01:16:41,718 --> 01:16:44,244
- Assassins?
- Assassins?
777
01:16:44,957 --> 01:16:49,627
*They want to kill Rabbi Jacob
and Rabbi Seligmann.
778
01:16:49,791 --> 01:16:54,808
Help me save them.
779
01:17:02,694 --> 01:17:06,658
What are you doing? let me be.
780
01:17:23,344 --> 01:17:26,577
Solomon! Quickly, Solomon.
781
01:17:28,086 --> 01:17:29,774
That way.
782
01:17:31,980 --> 01:17:35,073
Wait in the "Etoile de Kiev".
I'll get my moped.
783
01:17:35,113 --> 01:17:37,386
How did Fares know we were here?
784
01:17:37,411 --> 01:17:42,707
- Monsieur blabbed to him on the phone.
- I told the Commissioner. - That WAS Fares.
785
01:17:42,760 --> 01:17:46,424
What? That was Fares?
Unbelievable!
786
01:18:02,292 --> 01:18:06,392
Thirty years, Samuel,
and nothing changed!
787
01:18:10,500 --> 01:18:15,215
There's the synagogue.
And this is the Etoile de Kiev.
788
01:18:17,957 --> 01:18:20,597
Hey, what's going on? Lemme go!
789
01:18:20,651 --> 01:18:22,308
Open it. Get in!
790
01:18:26,653 --> 01:18:28,453
Step on it!
791
01:18:30,826 --> 01:18:33,759
Monsieur, come quick.
792
01:18:34,351 --> 01:18:37,105
Hop on, and get away, quick!
793
01:18:37,223 --> 01:18:39,184
Hurry, get on!
794
01:18:41,130 --> 01:18:43,902
- Get on. Go!
- Goddammit!
795
01:18:43,972 --> 01:18:47,590
- You saved my life, Solomon. - Ok, OK!
- You'd have done the same
796
01:18:47,660 --> 01:18:51,323
I say!... Solomon, Slimane.
Slimane, Solomon.
797
01:18:51,848 --> 01:18:54,045
Could you guys be cousins?
798
01:18:54,238 --> 01:18:57,027
- Cousins?
- Estranged...
799
01:18:57,524 --> 01:18:59,221
Thanks.
800
01:18:59,394 --> 01:19:03,699
Save it for later. Go!
To St. Louis des Invalides Church.
801
01:19:23,223 --> 01:19:26,601
Police. Commissioner Andreani.
802
01:19:30,934 --> 01:19:33,730
Mama, there's the Etoile de Kiev.
803
01:19:33,793 --> 01:19:38,244
Commissioner, we took you for killers.
It's a misunderstanding.
804
01:19:38,283 --> 01:19:39,872
He misunderstood!
805
01:19:39,910 --> 01:19:43,033
This misunderstanding
will cost you dearly. - Sami!
806
01:19:43,074 --> 01:19:44,855
Cossaks!
807
01:19:45,511 --> 01:19:48,754
Leave my Sami alone
or I'll call the police!
808
01:19:48,818 --> 01:19:52,433
This is the police, mameh.
These men are the police
809
01:19:52,964 --> 01:19:55,591
There's Solomon, mom.
810
01:19:58,625 --> 01:20:01,126
- Solomon!
- Madame?
811
01:20:03,019 --> 01:20:05,558
What've you done
with my husband?
812
01:20:05,605 --> 01:20:08,428
- Don't worry, Sir is safe.
- Where is he?
813
01:20:08,453 --> 01:20:12,457
I lent him my moped and
he went to your wedding.
814
01:20:45,744 --> 01:20:47,887
I can't breathe.
815
01:20:49,988 --> 01:20:52,699
Police! *...
816
01:20:54,863 --> 01:20:57,416
Take off your beard, Pivert.
817
01:20:57,521 --> 01:21:01,306
Again, with the Piverte?!
What is this Piverte?
818
01:21:04,025 --> 01:21:05,941
Waddaya tryinna do?
819
01:21:06,036 --> 01:21:11,925
- That's not Slimane!
* - Fi, rai! Eenhoil
820
01:21:11,995 --> 01:21:14,081
And I'm not Piverte!
821
01:21:14,332 --> 01:21:16,136
Hurry, hurry!
822
01:21:19,334 --> 01:21:22,793
My boat, my car!
There, they stole it.
823
01:21:23,027 --> 01:21:25,004
Thief! Thief!
824
01:21:25,070 --> 01:21:27,644
- Don't shout like that.
- Move it!
825
01:21:34,714 --> 01:21:37,565
- Faster. Faster.
- I can't!
826
01:21:37,674 --> 01:21:39,777
- Go!
- Aahh, my hat !
827
01:21:39,833 --> 01:21:41,410
That way!
828
01:21:41,854 --> 01:21:44,620
- There!
- Careful, my hat!
829
01:21:44,838 --> 01:21:47,049
My hat, I can't see!
830
01:21:56,865 --> 01:21:59,019
Quick, this way!
831
01:22:08,294 --> 01:22:10,495
Thief! Stop!
832
01:22:17,183 --> 01:22:18,809
Thief!
833
01:22:19,360 --> 01:22:21,582
Oh, no, it's not me.
834
01:22:24,333 --> 01:22:26,672
Not the moustache.
Not the moustache.
835
01:22:39,773 --> 01:22:42,996
- You're the Pivert?!
- Rabbi Jacob!
836
01:22:51,955 --> 01:22:56,502
Hello, Citroen DS,
license 438ZA75,
837
01:22:56,650 --> 01:22:59,549
carrying the boat Germaine II,
838
01:22:59,646 --> 01:23:02,909
is heading towards
Place de la Concorde.
839
01:23:17,129 --> 01:23:19,962
Spare their lives, Fares.
They won't talk.
840
01:23:20,011 --> 01:23:23,379
No, I won't talk. Not a word.
I forgot everything.
841
01:23:23,425 --> 01:23:26,651
I don't even know
your name, M. Fares.
842
01:23:29,213 --> 01:23:31,861
Don't shoot! I have an idea.
843
01:23:32,170 --> 01:23:34,696
Instead of shooting
me in the car,
844
01:23:34,721 --> 01:23:37,535
you let me go to my
daughters wedding.
845
01:23:37,596 --> 01:23:41,094
And tomorrow, you send me
a letter-bomb.
846
01:23:41,646 --> 01:23:43,578
So, I'm at home...
847
01:23:43,851 --> 01:23:46,164
The doorbell rings.
Drrring!
848
01:23:46,375 --> 01:23:47,968
Drrring!
849
01:23:52,810 --> 01:23:54,939
- Who is it?
- I open...
850
01:23:57,373 --> 01:23:59,446
A letter bomb!
851
01:24:01,472 --> 01:24:03,105
And for whom?
852
01:24:03,199 --> 01:24:06,275
- For you, not me.
- You're a pain in the a...!
853
01:24:06,305 --> 01:24:09,074
- So, I open it.
- NO, don't! YES! No!
854
01:24:09,160 --> 01:24:11,616
I open it and paf!...
855
01:24:12,530 --> 01:24:17,277
No more Pivert, no more Jacob,
no more Fares! Waddaya gonna do?
856
01:24:19,043 --> 01:24:20,394
That's for me.
857
01:24:20,444 --> 01:24:22,097
For me! Leggo!
858
01:24:23,278 --> 01:24:25,449
Hello... *...
859
01:24:25,518 --> 01:24:26,886
Hello!
860
01:24:26,924 --> 01:24:29,675
Hello, is this M. Pivert's car?
861
01:24:29,743 --> 01:24:32,472
Is president Slimane with you?
862
01:24:33,715 --> 01:24:35,715
President Slimane?!
863
01:24:36,848 --> 01:24:40,017
The Minister wants to speak with him.
864
01:24:41,636 --> 01:24:44,176
It is for you. The Minister.
865
01:24:45,269 --> 01:24:47,160
Ahh! Gimme!
866
01:24:47,347 --> 01:24:49,300
- Hello.
- Hello.
867
01:24:49,566 --> 01:24:52,308
- Mr. President?
- Slimane speaking.
868
01:24:52,402 --> 01:24:54,216
The Revolutionary Council
869
01:24:54,241 --> 01:24:57,723
which took power in your
country at 13:00 GMT,
870
01:24:57,793 --> 01:25:00,252
wishes you to return, urgently.
871
01:25:00,780 --> 01:25:04,242
- Should I mention petroleum?
- It'd be inappropriate.
872
01:25:04,288 --> 01:25:07,199
A Concorde! We could
fix him up with one.
873
01:25:07,280 --> 01:25:10,356
Not so fast, you'll
spoil everything. - OK.
874
01:25:10,494 --> 01:25:12,551
There's the Alouette 'copters.
875
01:25:12,615 --> 01:25:14,882
I'll slip in a cagey allusion.
876
01:25:16,418 --> 01:25:19,550
We'll come pick you up,
in our Alouette Chopper.
877
01:25:19,589 --> 01:25:20,995
Latest model.
878
01:25:21,042 --> 01:25:22,644
I did it, I did it !
879
01:25:22,687 --> 01:25:25,436
We did it, and they lost!
880
01:25:27,433 --> 01:25:31,020
You appreciate, Mr. President,...
881
01:25:31,308 --> 01:25:33,285
that I saved your life.
882
01:25:33,361 --> 01:25:35,417
They wanted to, 'taga-daga-da!'
883
01:25:35,457 --> 01:25:37,777
*Arkhoum Fares, my President.
884
01:25:38,082 --> 01:25:41,237
- No more *Arkhoum!
- Pardon.
885
01:25:41,293 --> 01:25:43,848
Shouldn't have bet
on the wrong camel.
886
01:25:43,873 --> 01:25:46,174
Sabres... up!
887
01:25:58,187 --> 01:26:00,529
See that, Mr. President?
888
01:26:07,604 --> 01:26:09,851
That's France! Clip-clop...
889
01:26:10,592 --> 01:26:12,210
France!
890
01:26:38,746 --> 01:26:40,272
That's it! It's over.
891
01:26:40,408 --> 01:26:43,275
It's 2 o' clock,
I can't wait any longer.
892
01:26:43,392 --> 01:26:46,049
Remove the plants and
flower bouquets.
893
01:26:46,074 --> 01:26:48,679
But Reverend!
A little more patience.
894
01:26:48,718 --> 01:26:52,317
I phoned and no one's home,
they're surely on their way.
895
01:26:52,378 --> 01:26:56,065
- I'm sorry, I have a funeral.
- At least, he'll be on time!
896
01:26:56,108 --> 01:26:58,200
- Alexandre.
- Yes, papa.
897
01:26:58,239 --> 01:27:00,434
The Marquise is leaving.
898
01:27:00,714 --> 01:27:03,932
- Stay a little longer, dear Madame?
- Any minute, now.
899
01:27:03,968 --> 01:27:08,465
Ah, no, I've been standing for
2 hours, so good bye. Home!
900
01:27:09,011 --> 01:27:11,768
Alexander, you sure
it wasn't Notre Dame?
901
01:27:11,832 --> 01:27:13,751
Will we get lunch anyway?
902
01:27:13,777 --> 01:27:16,308
- Better luck next time.
- Piss off!
903
01:27:16,465 --> 01:27:18,666
Papa, mama, what now?
904
01:27:19,378 --> 01:27:22,643
- Two hours late. Two!
- What'll people think?
905
01:27:22,687 --> 01:27:25,126
Pivert is a useless ass!
906
01:27:32,352 --> 01:27:34,291
What's that?
907
01:27:40,532 --> 01:27:42,118
Mama, what is that?
908
01:27:42,173 --> 01:27:44,196
'TEN... HUTT!
909
01:28:01,121 --> 01:28:03,705
Here I am. Allez, allez !
910
01:28:06,533 --> 01:28:08,923
General, here I am!
Here!
911
01:28:09,094 --> 01:28:10,745
Pivert!
912
01:28:11,957 --> 01:28:14,011
I'm here. Coming!
913
01:28:14,090 --> 01:28:17,777
Stay, Reverend.
I'm the father of the bride.
914
01:28:17,879 --> 01:28:19,533
You? A Rabbi?!
915
01:28:19,600 --> 01:28:22,354
It's a scandal, Pivert!
A SCANDAL
916
01:28:22,416 --> 01:28:26,104
- Explain yourself!
-2 hours late and what's that disguise?
917
01:28:26,174 --> 01:28:28,433
A Rabbi! I'm a Rabbi like you.
918
01:28:28,481 --> 01:28:31,096
This is a Shtreimel.
That, too, is a Shtreimel.
919
01:28:31,146 --> 01:28:32,980
These are Curlicues.
920
01:28:33,014 --> 01:28:35,471
- Those, too, are Curlicues!
- Aah!
921
01:28:37,261 --> 01:28:38,918
We're here!
922
01:28:39,191 --> 01:28:40,832
That's my wife !
923
01:28:44,682 --> 01:28:46,199
Turn into it!
924
01:28:46,355 --> 01:28:49,238
- Mama, stop!
- Shall I take the wheel?
925
01:28:49,308 --> 01:28:51,691
I can't Solomon, no brakes !
926
01:28:57,276 --> 01:29:00,674
What's that white smoke
from the engine?
927
01:29:17,631 --> 01:29:20,305
My boat! My boat.
928
01:29:21,390 --> 01:29:23,070
Antoinette.
929
01:29:23,136 --> 01:29:25,121
You did that on purpose!
930
01:29:25,175 --> 01:29:26,636
My hat!
931
01:29:26,687 --> 01:29:29,148
My boat, gluglug... Your hat...
932
01:29:30,723 --> 01:29:32,622
Mademoiselle, allow me.
933
01:29:33,707 --> 01:29:35,429
Are you nuts?
934
01:29:35,549 --> 01:29:39,254
Papa, mama, don't start. Not today.
935
01:29:39,449 --> 01:29:41,887
Jacob!... It's him!
936
01:29:46,312 --> 01:29:47,820
Shalom.
937
01:29:56,441 --> 01:29:59,158
Pivert, what's this tribe?
938
01:29:59,236 --> 01:30:01,986
Tribe?! Those are my
friends, the Schmolls.
939
01:30:02,048 --> 01:30:05,207
They invited me to synagogue
so I invite them to church.
940
01:30:05,232 --> 01:30:08,871
- Gotcha, Pivert!
- Well done! - Imbecile!
941
01:30:21,552 --> 01:30:23,482
Sabres... up!
942
01:30:42,092 --> 01:30:43,656
Mr president...
943
01:30:49,224 --> 01:30:50,857
*...
944
01:30:51,085 --> 01:30:53,909
In the name of the bonds
that unite our countries,
945
01:30:53,988 --> 01:30:55,996
I'm glad to be the first to...
946
01:30:56,050 --> 01:30:59,590
- Slimane, in the name of the law,
I arrest you. - Me?
947
01:30:59,675 --> 01:31:02,277
Now, there,
you're making a gaffe.
948
01:31:02,379 --> 01:31:04,441
And, what a cock up! Haha...
949
01:31:04,550 --> 01:31:06,472
- You'll see.
- Yes, we'll see.
950
01:31:06,535 --> 01:31:09,623
It's OK, Minister I collared
them without incident.
951
01:31:09,688 --> 01:31:12,190
Release these men, imbecile!
952
01:31:12,881 --> 01:31:15,162
Of course, Minister.
953
01:31:16,452 --> 01:31:19,905
- Mr. President, excuse us, sir.
- Ah, it's nothing.
954
01:31:19,960 --> 01:31:21,491
Hmm... you!
955
01:31:21,553 --> 01:31:23,827
Thank you, 'constable'.
- 'Constable'?
956
01:31:23,903 --> 01:31:26,264
Because tomorrow...
Trrrt !
957
01:31:26,700 --> 01:31:28,433
Trrrt!
958
01:31:30,031 --> 01:31:31,745
... Trrrt !
959
01:31:51,764 --> 01:31:55,236
My veil!
Can I have my veil back?
960
01:31:56,913 --> 01:31:58,539
No.
961
01:32:08,579 --> 01:32:10,456
Antoinette!
962
01:32:12,087 --> 01:32:15,881
Where's she off to?
Antoinette, come back!
963
01:32:15,936 --> 01:32:19,031
See that, Minister?
He's taking my daughter!
964
01:32:19,086 --> 01:32:21,444
He just takes her and zoom!
965
01:32:21,673 --> 01:32:24,140
Victor, she's gone mad.
966
01:32:24,218 --> 01:32:27,234
You can't let our daughter
go off with a... a...
967
01:32:27,316 --> 01:32:32,132
A President of a Republic.
My daughter will marry a President.
968
01:32:51,182 --> 01:32:53,049
*Mazel tov.
969
01:32:53,379 --> 01:32:58,796
Of course, tonight, you're coming
to the bar mitzvah dinner?
970
01:32:58,906 --> 01:33:01,085
Listen, Rabbi Jacob, listen.
971
01:33:01,210 --> 01:33:03,500
I must confess.
972
01:33:03,680 --> 01:33:06,215
Voila... I'm not Jewish.
973
01:33:06,515 --> 01:33:10,545
Doesn't matter, Monsieur.
We'll, keep you on anyway.
974
01:33:52,371 --> 01:33:57,408
XQ2☻♥
69865
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