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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,850 I've been in the scholastic profession long enough to know 2 00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:03,950 that nobody enters it 3 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,710 unless he has some very good reasons he is anxious to conceal. 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,990 I'm keen to find something that I can stick at. 5 00:00:11,040 --> 00:00:14,270 I hope that being a schoolmaster may be it. 6 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,350 What have you heard about The League of Nations? 7 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:18,870 I fear I'm in the soup again. 8 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,320 I've told Flossie I'm going to announce our engagement. 9 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:25,590 I hope Mama falls in love again. 10 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,390 She's still so young and beautiful. 11 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:30,640 Would you be interested in spending the summer with us? 12 00:01:04,040 --> 00:01:05,670 That was a good binge. 13 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:08,750 That was one of the most memorable evenings of my life. 14 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,750 Marriage is a grim institution! 15 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:12,550 You didn't enjoy your first one? 16 00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:16,390 It was in Ireland. I was as tight as a lord. 17 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:18,350 So was the priest. 18 00:01:18,400 --> 00:01:21,160 God knows what became of Mrs Grimes. 19 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,110 None of this is what I would have chosen for myself, 20 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:27,950 not by a long chalk. 21 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:31,560 - Cheer up, Grimesie. - No! No! Get off me! 22 00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:37,870 Why did no-one warn me? 23 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,910 - Why did no-one warn me?! - Ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh-ssh! 24 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,430 They warned me about the fires of hell, 25 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:46,350 - no-one warned me about marriage! - Ssh! 26 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,670 No-one said that, at the end of the flower-strewn lane, 27 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,790 there were the hideous lights of home, 28 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:55,870 the terrible voices of children! 29 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,150 Argh! Ah! Ah! Ah! 30 00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,350 - Try not to wake the boys. - Or Dr Fagan! 31 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,270 - Ssh! - Ssh! 32 00:02:09,320 --> 00:02:10,960 (Inside voices.) 33 00:02:16,640 --> 00:02:19,670 I gather you're excellent at the organ. 34 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,150 Will you play at my wedding? 35 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,590 I can't, I've injured my hand. 36 00:02:24,640 --> 00:02:27,390 Oh, no! How did you do that? 37 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:28,760 Playing games. 38 00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:32,990 To be honest, I can't play the organ, Grimes. 39 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,680 You just teach it? 40 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:39,870 Will you... will you be best man, then? 41 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:41,710 Yes. I'd be honoured. 42 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,030 Sorry, Prendy! 43 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:44,550 Ssssh! 44 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,950 - What is this.. - (Go and check the door.) - .. terrible impulse to build homes? 45 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,190 Flossie has the itch, all right. 46 00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:53,750 She's already told me she wants children. 47 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:59,320 Ah! I fear I'm a blind alley off the main road of procreation. 48 00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:03,790 I don't think people would ever fall in love if they 49 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,150 hadn't been told about it. It's like going abroad, you know, 50 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,590 you'd never think of doing it unless someone had told you it existed. 51 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,870 I don't know if that's true. 52 00:03:11,920 --> 00:03:15,950 I can vouch for the exciting tingle of unexpected emotions 53 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,510 one can feel when you encounter someone special. 54 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:21,630 Like a sort of unstoppable primal... flushing. 55 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,240 - Oh! (Grimes!) - Ooo! 56 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:29,820 Mm! 57 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,520 Ah! 58 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:42,990 Good evening. 59 00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:44,840 Mr Pennyfeather? 60 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,430 I'm afraid to admit that Captain Grimes 61 00:03:56,480 --> 00:03:58,990 is not the son-in-law I would readily have chosen. 62 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:01,630 He can usually handle his drink, sir. 63 00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,910 Well, I could forgive him his wooden leg, 64 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:08,150 his abominable features and his moral turpitude, 65 00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:10,030 if only he were a gentleman. 66 00:04:10,080 --> 00:04:12,710 I dare say you've discerned his worst weakness. 67 00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,950 I need not particularise. 68 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:19,390 One comes across it with regularity in the teaching profession. 69 00:04:19,440 --> 00:04:22,150 But I do wish a man with such instincts 70 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,480 was not marrying my daughter. 71 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,470 Would you marry her? 72 00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:31,270 Well, she's a lovely woman. 73 00:04:31,320 --> 00:04:33,840 I don't mean in theory! 74 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,670 I'm asking you to help me, Paul. 75 00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:42,070 I've come to trust and respect you and I'm asking you 76 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,600 if you would like to marry my daughter, Florence. 77 00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:51,430 But she's engaged to Captain Grimes at the moment, sir. 78 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:53,550 I've spoken to her and I've discovered 79 00:04:53,600 --> 00:04:56,670 that she has no strong inclination towards Grimes in particular, 80 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,150 but she's very keen -- desperate, in fact -- 81 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,990 to be married before her 30th birthday. 82 00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,880 - I see. - Look... 83 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:11,630 .. I'll offer you a partnership in this school, too. 84 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:14,790 And that's worth about £1,000 a year. 85 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:18,710 - Well, it's a very generous offer, sir. - Mm. 86 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,440 And she's a handsome... 87 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:24,440 .. very handsome woman. 88 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,000 But I can't. 89 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,000 All right. Of course. 90 00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:38,200 I quite understand. 91 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:43,070 It's just this Saturday's wedding 92 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:46,270 is a humiliation I would like to have avoided. 93 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:50,080 And Tangent's going to have his foot amputated on Saturday, too. 94 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:55,560 Perhaps that is the event you should attend, as headmaster. 95 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:00,920 Ah! 96 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,430 Philbrick's an inscrutable soul, isn't he? 97 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:14,950 I don't know what he's doing here. He wasn't invited. 98 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:18,390 You know he's not really a butler? He's a retired thief. 99 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:21,310 Is he? I know he's a successful novelist. 100 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,230 Philbrick? 101 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:25,230 He's a millionaire ship-owner. 102 00:06:25,280 --> 00:06:27,430 Son of the Archbishop of Canterbury. 103 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:29,830 Yeah. He told me all about it. 104 00:06:29,880 --> 00:06:32,550 He told me he was a bank robber. 105 00:06:32,600 --> 00:06:35,390 I wonder which of his stories are true? 106 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,160 None of them, I suppose. 107 00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,070 Everything all right, gentlemen? 108 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:48,030 We know your game, Philbrick. 109 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:50,320 We've being comparing stories. 110 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,150 One day, I'll tell you the truth and you won't believe that, either. 111 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,870 Because it's more extraordinary than any of your tiny little minds 112 00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,320 could ever comprehend. 113 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,280 As you were. 114 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:20,800 Oh, God! 115 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:24,160 Here comes the bride. 116 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,230 Is it too late to run? 117 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:32,720 Yes. 118 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:25,560 Let's start by singing Land of Hope and Glory. 119 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,480 ♪ Land of... 120 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,670 ♪ Land of hope and glory... ♪ 121 00:08:35,720 --> 00:08:37,360 Why is Dingy giving her away? 122 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,680 Where's Dr Fagan? 123 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:58,150 Into this holy union, Captain Colin Alexander 124 00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:02,070 Frederick George Arthur Grimes 125 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:05,910 and Florence Fagan will be joined. 126 00:09:05,960 --> 00:09:10,110 Therefore, if any man or woman can show any just cause 127 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:14,150 why they may not lawfully be joined together, 128 00:09:14,200 --> 00:09:18,280 let him now speak, or else forever hold his peace. 129 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:44,960 Stop him! 130 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,120 - Get him! - That way! 131 00:09:55,200 --> 00:09:57,280 Back! 132 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,520 Oh! 133 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:14,070 Colin Alexander 134 00:10:14,120 --> 00:10:17,830 Frederick George Arthur Grimes, 135 00:10:17,880 --> 00:10:21,320 do you take this woman to be your wedded wife? 136 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,470 I... W-W... Er... Ah... 137 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:36,670 Do you know Philbrick well? 138 00:10:36,720 --> 00:10:38,080 No. 139 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:41,630 He's wanted for false pretences and impersonation. 140 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,510 There's 15 charges against him from across the country. 141 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:48,070 In March, he pretended he was the Bishop of Burford. 142 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,190 He confirmed 70 kids. 143 00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:52,350 Did it very well, apparently. 144 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,390 He told me he was a bank robber. 145 00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,390 He is also a bank robber. 146 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,360 Ah. 147 00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:05,720 You're going to Margot Beste-Chetwynde's place for summer? 148 00:11:06,880 --> 00:11:08,720 Yes. I'm looking forward to it. 149 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:13,430 I-I find there's something rather thrilling about Margot's company. 150 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:14,760 Do you? 151 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,640 Shall we have a couple more? 152 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,640 You don't think you ought to get back? 153 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:28,160 I suppose you're right. 154 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:34,600 The first days are difficult... they say. 155 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,480 Even in the most romantic marriages. 156 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:44,720 But since it's your first night together as a couple... 157 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:00,600 Well, so long, old boy. 158 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:03,640 This is the way I go now. 159 00:12:19,360 --> 00:12:23,550 I must say, I'm a little worried about Grimes. 160 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,430 I think the head man is giving him a hard time. 161 00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:31,480 And I'm not sure everything... above stairs suits him. 162 00:13:06,760 --> 00:13:10,150 Sir? Have you seen Captain Grimes? 163 00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:12,550 No, not since yesterday. 164 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,150 Neither has Mrs Grimes. 165 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,600 Apparently, he didn't come home last night. 166 00:13:17,440 --> 00:13:20,920 I'm sure he's probably just passed out in a ditch somewhere. 167 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,230 It's this way. 168 00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:54,200 Oh, Grimes! 169 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,830 Come along, girls! Margate, here we come! 170 00:14:11,080 --> 00:14:12,350 Come on, in you get! 171 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:14,320 There we go. 172 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,070 Have a good holiday, Prendy. 173 00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:27,270 Thank you. And you. 174 00:14:27,320 --> 00:14:30,990 Though I'm not sure I can face returning for another term. 175 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:34,470 I'm sure you say that at the end of every term. 176 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:35,910 I do. 177 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,200 And at the beginning of every term. 178 00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,710 I was reading yesterday about what the Bishop of Winchester is calling 179 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:44,590 the modern churchman. 180 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:47,550 Apparently, these priests draw a full church salary, 181 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:51,190 but don't commit to any particular religious belief. 182 00:14:51,240 --> 00:14:54,750 I think the bishop meant it critically, 183 00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,910 but I thought it sounded rather wonderful. 184 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,800 Well, I hope you do come back. 185 00:15:01,080 --> 00:15:02,120 I'm sure I will. 186 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,320 Oh! Mummy sent the big car. 187 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:11,710 Well, this is me. 188 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:26,110 Mother's been asking me to practise my vodka cocktails. 189 00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:28,750 Are you good at making cocktails, sir? 190 00:15:28,800 --> 00:15:31,000 I'm not even good at drinking them. 191 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:37,760 Oh, my word! 192 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:45,640 Mother has surpassed herself. 193 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:54,390 My dears! You've made it. 194 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:59,310 Oh! You're finally here! I've been so bored without you. 195 00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:02,110 Oh, my darling boy, how are you? 196 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:06,230 You seem to be getting rather handsome, in a coltish sort of way. 197 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,030 Wouldn't you agree, Mr Pennyfeather? 198 00:16:08,080 --> 00:16:09,150 Yes. 199 00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,430 Oh, it's wonderful to have you here, too. 200 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,790 And for the whole holidays, Professor. Lucky us. 201 00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,150 I'm not actually a professor. 202 00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:19,030 Shush, Professor. What do you think? 203 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:21,870 It's an amazing house, Mrs Beste-Chetwynde. 204 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:23,910 Come and meet the architect. 205 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,630 I find the vulcanite chairs make my bottom chafe, 206 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:29,830 but Otto insists on them. 207 00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:33,070 - Otto? - Ah? - Honey, Peter's here with Mr Pennyfeather. 208 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:36,470 Guten abend, meine herren. 209 00:16:36,520 --> 00:16:40,110 Darling, isn't Peter getting rather handsome? 210 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:41,430 Lass uns mal schauen. 211 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:44,240 [1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.] 212 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,520 His head is too big for his frame and his hands are too small. 213 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,990 I love what you've done with the place, Otto. 214 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,560 It's an amazing house, I was just saying. 215 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,230 You like it? 216 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,630 Very much. 217 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,110 I hate and detest every bit of it. 218 00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:07,590 No, my, shooks, you mustn't be so tiresome. 219 00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:09,270 It's better than what was here before. 220 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:12,990 I've done what I can, but it is impossible for domestic architecture 221 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:15,310 to ever be truly beautiful. 222 00:17:15,360 --> 00:17:16,920 Why's that? 223 00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,120 Hm. 224 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:27,030 The challenge for architecture is the same challenge for all art -- 225 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:31,310 the removal of the human element in the consideration of form. 226 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:36,630 So the only truly beautiful building is the factory. 227 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,470 Yes, darling, you've built beautiful factories. 228 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,990 Now, I'm going to get changed. 229 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,470 Peter, why don't you make us some drinks? 230 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,240 Yes, of course. 231 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,800 Margot is impossible to work for. 232 00:18:05,720 --> 00:18:10,350 For instance, she's insisting that I put in the staircase. 233 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,630 There isn't one at the moment? 234 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:16,280 The tragedy for architects is that they have to have clients. 235 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,960 How do you get upstairs? 236 00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,350 Why do you want to go upstairs? 237 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,630 You see, Paul, this is my point. 238 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:28,430 Stairs are ugly, but humans demand them. 239 00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:29,990 Why can't you just stay in one place? 240 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:31,590 Why must you go upstairs, downstairs, 241 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,190 in and out, up and round, huh? 242 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,070 Do machines require a staircase? 243 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:36,710 No! 244 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,790 What an immature, self-destructive being is a man. 245 00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:41,360 Yes. 246 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:45,430 But what if you want to go to sleep? 247 00:18:45,480 --> 00:18:46,710 Argh! 248 00:18:46,760 --> 00:18:49,150 If you must go upstairs, 249 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,790 install an elevator on the exterior of the building. 250 00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:56,030 That's a good solution. 251 00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,080 Here we are. 252 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:03,990 Oh! 253 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,310 Drinks. I call it The Panty Dropper. 254 00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:11,710 It's er, it's vodka, rum, whisky. I serve it slightly warmed. 255 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:15,390 Aren't you clever, darling? Can I credit you for this? 256 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,230 - No. - A teacher called Captain Grimes 257 00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:19,310 actually taught us all how to make these. 258 00:19:19,360 --> 00:19:20,790 I love teachers like that. 259 00:19:20,840 --> 00:19:24,750 Yes. Sadly, he... he committed suicide last week. 260 00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:26,710 Oh, no, that's horrible. 261 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:27,910 Scheisse. 262 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,750 Well, let's toast to poor Captain Grimes. 263 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:33,920 - Poor Captain Grimes. - Prost. 264 00:19:39,560 --> 00:19:42,070 Perhaps I could, er, get a glass of water, as well? 265 00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:43,920 Oh, water's for washing. 266 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:48,830 So, who wants to see my drawings of French prostitutes? 267 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:50,350 I'd love to. 268 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,440 Paul, setz dich, ja? 269 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,870 Do you visit prostitutes much, Paul? 270 00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,000 Um... not so much. 271 00:20:01,680 --> 00:20:03,480 I draw everything. 272 00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,040 Here are my prostitutes. 273 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:09,520 Ooh! 274 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:25,630 That's a nice one. 275 00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:29,470 Her raised buttocks, and head thrown back in ecstasy. 276 00:20:29,520 --> 00:20:30,720 Yes. 277 00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,470 Paul. 278 00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:38,070 I'd like to give you this one as a gift. 279 00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:40,840 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah. 280 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,200 Is there perhaps one without you in it? 281 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:54,670 Of course. Choose which one you like. 282 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,470 The woman pleasuring herself? 283 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:57,790 That one's lovely. Thank you. 284 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:00,070 Oh, Paul, I love to draw. 285 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:01,390 I can see. 286 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,230 Yeah. Let's draw now. You and me, Paul. 287 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:05,830 Let's draw Margot. 288 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,080 Oh, no, not again, darling. 289 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:13,550 Peter, bitte? Fur dich. Hold, please, thank you. 290 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:17,670 I could draw you 500 times daily. 291 00:21:17,720 --> 00:21:23,790 You are such a wonderful, firm assembly of rectilinear planes. 292 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:27,600 Well, I'd like to keep my clothes on, thank you. 293 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,640 Me, too. 294 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:44,390 Paul, would you say you are a static person or a dynamic one? 295 00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:45,830 Hm? 296 00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:48,670 I believe all people should be divided into those two types. 297 00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,310 Static... or dynamic. 298 00:21:52,360 --> 00:21:57,430 That makes much more sense than dividing them into male or female. 299 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:00,470 So, which type are you, Paul? 300 00:22:00,520 --> 00:22:01,920 Dynamic. 301 00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,840 I'm definitely a dynamic person. 302 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,560 Yeah. 303 00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,520 My father. 304 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:21,630 Oh, Peter, darling, did I tell you I was having 305 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,710 a weekend party here at the house to show it off? 306 00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,830 Margot, I've asked you not to do this. 307 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:31,710 Oh, shush. Be quiet. It's my house. I paid for it. 308 00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,950 Now, could you face organising it all? You know what I'm like. 309 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,030 Of course, Mama. How many people will be coming? 310 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,990 Oh, I don't know. I gave up inviting people weeks ago. 311 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:42,510 Maybe a couple of hundred. 312 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,590 Oh, but don't worry, most of them are hopeless at leaving London. 313 00:22:45,640 --> 00:22:47,390 Will it be a fancy dress party? 314 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:50,750 Hm, God, no. Had enough of those. 315 00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:54,950 Just this year I've been to a circus one, a Hawaiian one, 316 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:57,110 a Victorian one, a Russian one, 317 00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:01,990 a Wild West one, one where you had to be dressed as a windmill... 318 00:23:02,040 --> 00:23:04,070 It's so boring. 319 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:08,110 And when did parties move from being an expression of hospitality 320 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:10,350 to a competitive form of public spectacle? 321 00:23:10,400 --> 00:23:12,230 You did say that you enjoyed the 322 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:14,590 "What were you wearing when the Titanic sank?" party. 323 00:23:14,640 --> 00:23:17,040 Hm. Oh, yes. That suited my mood perfectly. 324 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:20,990 Oh! Dinner is served. Now, stop drawing. 325 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:22,880 Let me see what you've done. 326 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:30,150 Oh, Otto, I wish you wouldn't do that! It's so boring. 327 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:34,390 You've drawn me completely naked, when I clearly have my clothes on. 328 00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:36,680 Now, let's see what you've done. 329 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:40,070 Hm. 330 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:41,320 Those are your eyes. 331 00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,000 Hm. 332 00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:49,200 Dinner is served. 333 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,520 Paul... are you awake? 334 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,800 Oh, well, I... I wasn't. 335 00:24:26,920 --> 00:24:29,830 I just wanted to apologies for Otto's manner. 336 00:24:29,880 --> 00:24:32,150 He's German and an architect, 337 00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:34,430 and that can be an unfortunate combination. 338 00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:35,830 But he is a genius. 339 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,950 I'm sorry about my drawing. It's never been my... 340 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,360 Oh. Please. I didn't invite you here to draw, did I? 341 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:50,110 I... obviously do find you very beautiful. 342 00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:53,630 It's just that I wasn't able to express it with a pencil. 343 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:55,350 It was frustrating. 344 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,120 Do you? Find me beautiful? 345 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,310 Yes. 346 00:25:01,360 --> 00:25:03,470 Hm. I don't like my mouth. 347 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:05,870 It's a beautiful mouth. 348 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,270 All of you is beautiful. 349 00:25:08,320 --> 00:25:10,030 Like a rainbow. 350 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:12,830 Like a lily flower 351 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,600 that's opened for the first full fat drops of spring rain. 352 00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:21,710 If a million painters painted for 40 hours, they'd never be able to... 353 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:27,480 Shush! You don't have to talk, you handsome, drunk man. 354 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,110 Jenny? 355 00:25:50,160 --> 00:25:52,400 Where are you? Jenny? 356 00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,280 Guten morgen, Paul. 357 00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,750 Don't you think she's the most wonderful woman in the world? 358 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:04,190 In what way? 359 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:08,790 Beautiful and free. It's almost like she's a different species. 360 00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,470 Do you know what I mean? 361 00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:13,550 Margot's variations are seductive. 362 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:15,830 They certainly are. 363 00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:17,710 Yeah. 364 00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:21,550 Especially the way her left breast 365 00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:26,000 is slightly more raised than her right. It's ghastly! 366 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:29,950 I do enjoy sleeping with her. 367 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,520 Yeah, part of me thinks I should propose to her again. 368 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:36,640 Sorry? 369 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:38,640 I love her body... 370 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,040 .. as much as I love concrete. 371 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:12,430 - Hello, I'm Tom. - Paul. 372 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:16,310 What's brought you to this part of the world? 373 00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:19,790 Trying to get away from an architect. I'm a teacher. 374 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:23,120 I tutor a boy who lives locally in a big house. 375 00:27:24,360 --> 00:27:25,990 At King's Thursday? 376 00:27:26,040 --> 00:27:27,080 Yes. 377 00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:35,870 Are you going to the party this afternoon? 378 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:38,270 Yes. Are you? 379 00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:42,070 Yes and no. Ah, I'd like to. I know Margot a bit. 380 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,150 - Do you? - Yeah. She often has me at her parties. 381 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,710 And then I write about them the next day. For The Daily. 382 00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,870 You're a journalist? 383 00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:50,030 I have a society column. 384 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,830 Golly. Is that a good career? 385 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:54,720 So long as you can get into the parties, it is. 386 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:59,910 I don't know why but, um, Margot hasn't invited me this time. 387 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,310 Perhaps she forgot? 388 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,950 She told me she hadn't invited everyone that she wanted to. 389 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,760 Why, that must be it. 390 00:28:06,800 --> 00:28:10,550 See the thing is, I have a friend -- 391 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:13,910 a rival, really -- he writes for The Weekend. 392 00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:16,190 He's an unscrupulous little turd. 393 00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:17,350 I say "friend." 394 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:19,990 Actually, I hate the man, but he's going to be at the party. 395 00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:22,230 It would look pretty bad for me if he did a piece 396 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,670 about the party and I didn't. 397 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:24,870 I see. 398 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:28,030 So, I was wondering if you could get me in? 399 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,830 Right... 400 00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:33,030 It's just, my career, sort of, depends on it. 401 00:28:33,080 --> 00:28:37,470 - Um... - And as you say, she probably just forgot to invite me. 402 00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:38,990 - Er... - To be honest with you, 403 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,590 if I don't pull this off I may as well stick my head in the oven. 404 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:43,840 Oh, don't do that. Um... 405 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:46,270 Well, if you say 406 00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:47,430 she normally invites you, 407 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,510 I'm certain she wouldn't mind you being there. 408 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,360 Wonderful! Thank you! 409 00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:56,030 Let me get you another drink. It was The Owls, wasn't it? 410 00:28:56,080 --> 00:29:00,990 - Thank you. - So, if you leave the back gate open at 3.30pm, please? 411 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:03,740 And don't be alarmed -- I may be dressed as an Arab. 412 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:32,070 I can't face it. I don't want to talk to any of these people. 413 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:33,830 I don't feel well. I'm going to bed. 414 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,230 Darling, will you make sure everybody has a good time? 415 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:37,710 And you, too, Paul. 416 00:29:37,760 --> 00:29:40,590 But... I'm not sure I know how your mind works, Margot. 417 00:29:40,640 --> 00:29:42,470 I'm sure you do. 418 00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:45,950 And I'm sure you know how to make a party swing delightfully. 419 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,230 Make it a huge success. I'm counting on you. 420 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,040 I sure I'll feel better once they've all gone. 421 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:07,830 Champagne, sir? 422 00:30:07,880 --> 00:30:11,150 Oh, my word! Peter! 423 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,470 Mrs Popham. So lovely to see you. 424 00:30:14,520 --> 00:30:17,030 I can't wait to see this house. 425 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,870 Has Otto done marvels? 426 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,950 Please have a glass of Champagne or try one of my absinth frappes. 427 00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,110 Hm! How do you two know each other? 428 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:27,990 Oh, Mr Pennyfeather is a master at my school. 429 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,790 He's excellent at theology, German and music. 430 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,470 Oh, well done. Which instruments do you play? 431 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:35,960 He's superb at the piano. 432 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,200 Otto, you're here! 433 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:42,790 Look at what you've done to this place! 434 00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:44,120 It's amazing. 435 00:30:45,320 --> 00:30:47,550 I hate and detest every bit of it. 436 00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:49,830 Well, I love it. 437 00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:52,200 Then, you have nothing but my pity. 438 00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:56,760 Just walk around and talk to people. 439 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,000 How do you do. 440 00:31:01,800 --> 00:31:05,030 This is what the house used to look like before I knocked it down. 441 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:09,350 As you can see -- unfit for habitation. It was appalling. 442 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:13,110 Here, however, this is the dining room space. 443 00:31:13,160 --> 00:31:16,510 You see, I designed the house for human flow 444 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,480 and increased functionality. 445 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:25,590 Your eye then travels across the marble floor to the windows. 446 00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:30,760 And from here, you have an amazing view of the woods. Ja. 447 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:40,990 I was required by my client to make this room fun, ja? 448 00:31:41,040 --> 00:31:46,270 - So I added a kaleidoscope lighting. - Wow! 449 00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:49,550 Hm. We could do with a room like this in The Commons. 450 00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:55,040 So now, who would like to see the drawings of my French women? 451 00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:57,870 Or, we could have some food? 452 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,000 I've never seen such a spread. 453 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:03,350 Paul? 454 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:05,120 Just a minute. 455 00:32:15,400 --> 00:32:16,440 Hello. 456 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:18,640 Hello. 457 00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:21,990 So... you're a politician? 458 00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:25,150 Minister for Transport. You keen on politics, at all? 459 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:26,630 Hardly at all. 460 00:32:26,680 --> 00:32:32,590 Ah, sensible fellow. It's all just one disaster after another. 461 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:37,350 Endless backstabbing and plots. And the public are idiots. 462 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:40,550 I'd make much more money if I concentrated on my biographies. 463 00:32:40,600 --> 00:32:44,030 This is an extraordinary house, isn't it? 464 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:45,430 Yes. 465 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:50,310 It's missing nothing except the hostess herself. You known her long? 466 00:32:50,360 --> 00:32:53,110 Margot? Only a few weeks. 467 00:32:53,160 --> 00:32:56,470 Ah. There's no-one like her. 468 00:32:56,520 --> 00:33:00,710 I wish she rode a bicycle and voted Tory, but she's good news otherwise. 469 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:06,350 You been to her place in Corfu? It's fabulous. Wonderful chefs. 470 00:33:06,400 --> 00:33:09,350 I don't know what she's built this place for. 471 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,230 She's getting in with the wrong set. 472 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,310 A rich woman without a husband is bound to be talked about. 473 00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,070 What she ought to be doing is getting married. 474 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:22,310 Settling down with someone with a respected position in public life. 475 00:33:22,360 --> 00:33:23,510 Someone like you? 476 00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:25,080 Yeah, that's right. 477 00:33:26,160 --> 00:33:27,830 Do you know what that is? 478 00:33:27,880 --> 00:33:29,360 No. 479 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:32,950 What line are you in? 480 00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:34,830 I'm a teacher. 481 00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:39,830 Never mind. You're young. There's still time to change. 482 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:44,350 Although I must say, I don't understand your generation. 483 00:33:44,400 --> 00:33:46,990 You had a great opportunity after the war. 484 00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:50,310 There was a whole civilisation to be remade. 485 00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:52,550 I'm just trying to find something I can stick at. 486 00:33:52,600 --> 00:33:54,470 What's your father want you to do? 487 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,950 I don't know. He died when I was younger. 488 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:58,670 Sorry to hear that. 489 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:00,590 What I will say to you is this -- 490 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:06,310 whatever you do intend to do with your life, aim high. 491 00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,190 That's what I do. 492 00:34:08,240 --> 00:34:10,990 Like when you're throwing a stone at a cat. 493 00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:14,520 If you aim higher, you're more likely to hit something. 494 00:34:16,440 --> 00:34:17,550 Aim high. 495 00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:20,550 Right, I'm off back to London soon. 496 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:24,110 It's annoying Margot isn't at her own party. 497 00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:26,390 I only came to seduce her. 498 00:34:26,440 --> 00:34:28,110 It's a shame she's missed that. 499 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,840 Hm! Nice to meet you. 500 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,040 Are you going to eat that? 501 00:34:46,720 --> 00:34:51,230 I think, to see clearly in this world, one must be a poet, 502 00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:53,870 a priest and a prophet -- all at once. 503 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,590 You are so right. 504 00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:56,750 Yeah. 505 00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:59,630 When are you going to come and do my house, Otto? 506 00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:00,950 I keep asking. 507 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,910 No more houses. I detest them. 508 00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:06,230 Ja, I want to build a town instead. 509 00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,510 You promised. 510 00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:10,430 Pamela. Bitte, ja? 511 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:15,150 Well, I'd give you free rein. You can do what you like. 512 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,990 Come and discuss it with me on Friday night. 513 00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:20,190 My husband's in Abyssinia again. 514 00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,360 Oh! Paul. 515 00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,230 This is fun. 516 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:29,030 Do you know Pamela Popham? 517 00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:30,310 We met briefly. 518 00:35:30,360 --> 00:35:32,870 Oh, we were just discussing architecture. 519 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:34,350 Sir, can I have a word? 520 00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:35,720 Yes. 521 00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,120 What is HE doing here? 522 00:35:40,400 --> 00:35:41,910 What's wrong with him? 523 00:35:41,960 --> 00:35:43,230 He's a journalist. 524 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:45,430 Yes, he writes a column, doesn't he? 525 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:48,310 He's the most despised man in the newspapers. 526 00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,510 My mother threw him out of her last party. 527 00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:53,990 And there he is, talking to the most indiscreet man in politics. 528 00:35:54,040 --> 00:35:56,110 He always wears an Arab disguise, 529 00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,870 every time, and he writes the most appalling things. 530 00:35:58,920 --> 00:36:01,950 When my mother finds who let him in here, she will crucify them. 531 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:06,470 Well, let's not upset her by telling her. 532 00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:07,760 How did he get in here? 533 00:36:08,920 --> 00:36:10,790 I'm going to go and ask him. 534 00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:14,070 No. Let me. You stay here. 535 00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:17,670 I'll go and give him... a bloody good piece of my mind. 536 00:36:17,720 --> 00:36:19,190 It's well known in the House 537 00:36:19,240 --> 00:36:21,470 that the Home Secretary and Mr Chundra Roy 538 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,670 have long been enjoying, what they call on the subcontinent, 539 00:36:24,720 --> 00:36:27,790 "a tender embrace without trousers." 540 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,150 Hello, Tom. 541 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:32,630 I thought we agreed that you wouldn't take notes. 542 00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:35,950 - No, we didn't. - I think we did, so if you'd just give me that... 543 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,150 No! 544 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:39,120 - Yes. - No... 545 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,910 What's the matter? 546 00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:45,390 This man is a journalist. Tom Somebody. 547 00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:48,000 Not Tom Braeburn? 548 00:36:49,080 --> 00:36:50,110 No! 549 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:55,230 You're the bloody turd pipe who suggested my parentage was of doubt. 550 00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:57,560 Oh! Look! 551 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,110 Get out of here or I'll set my dogs on you! 552 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,670 I'm going to make sure your mother has a tax inspection! 553 00:37:05,720 --> 00:37:07,470 How the hell did he get in here? 554 00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:09,070 It's beyond belief. 555 00:37:09,120 --> 00:37:10,670 Bloody man gets everywhere. 556 00:37:10,720 --> 00:37:12,230 Found you. 557 00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:17,110 We're so bored. I want you to play something for us, on the piano. 558 00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:18,950 No. 559 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:21,910 Yes. I insist. Come on. 560 00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,230 No, no. I really can't. I've had too much to drink. 561 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:27,710 Oh! We don't mind if it isn't perfect. Move. 562 00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,430 No, I can't. I've injured my hand. 563 00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,990 - Lady Popham, he really can't... - We don't mind! Sit down! 564 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:40,350 Everybody! This man here is Peter's music teacher. 565 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,150 Shall we get him to play us something on the piano? 566 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,390 Yes, yes. Play us something. 567 00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,230 No. No. No. I can't... 568 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:50,310 Sit down! 569 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:51,670 I can't! 570 00:37:51,720 --> 00:37:53,230 Everybody, shush! 571 00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:56,240 He's going to play something for us. 572 00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,950 I really can't. 573 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:03,320 Oh, for God's sake! Don't make such a scene. 574 00:38:13,960 --> 00:38:15,200 Um... 575 00:38:16,920 --> 00:38:19,990 This is a modern piece. 576 00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:21,600 What is it called? 577 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,350 It's called... 578 00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:28,430 The... Fat Lady... 579 00:38:28,480 --> 00:38:32,310 Of... Stuttgart. 580 00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:34,080 Ja. 581 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:19,550 Did you have a terrible time at the party last night 582 00:40:19,600 --> 00:40:21,240 with all those awful people? 583 00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:25,670 More and more I find the need for a new husband, 584 00:40:25,720 --> 00:40:27,990 so I can stop throwing all these parties. 585 00:40:28,040 --> 00:40:32,070 But Peter's horribly fastidious. He turns down all the candidates. 586 00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:34,150 Did he turn down Otto? 587 00:40:34,200 --> 00:40:38,430 I can't remember what he said about Otto. 588 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,870 And Humphrey Maltravers seems keen on you. 589 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,550 Oh! Yes, he is. But I can't be Margot Maltravers. 590 00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:47,070 That's not an acceptable name. 591 00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,430 Oh, darling, I've loved having you around the house. 592 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,150 I can't bear the thought of you 593 00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:54,870 having to go back to that Welsh school. 594 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,950 Do write to Dr Fagan and tell him you won't be going back? 595 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,110 What else could I do? Journalism? 596 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:04,310 Oh, no, no, no. We'll find you a proper job. 597 00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,470 Maybe you can come and work for me? 598 00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,310 What is your business, Margot? 599 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,310 Well, I run my father's business. 600 00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,950 It's called The Latin American Entertainment Company. 601 00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:16,750 It's mostly in South America. 602 00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,230 We provide girls for places of entertainment 603 00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:23,630 like cabarets and hotels and theatres, that sort of thing. 604 00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:26,630 I'm sure I can find you a job helping in that. 605 00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:29,440 Oh, Margot, you are wonderful. 606 00:41:31,240 --> 00:41:35,230 Oh, Carlo, thank you for another lovely meal. 607 00:41:35,280 --> 00:41:37,840 Please give my regards to the chef. 608 00:41:42,560 --> 00:41:44,160 Sorry. 609 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,110 Arthur! 610 00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:49,110 Pottsie. It's me, Paul. 611 00:41:49,160 --> 00:41:54,950 Pennyfeather! Dear chap. How are you? 612 00:41:55,000 --> 00:41:58,110 How lovely to see you. This is my... 613 00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,520 friend, Margot Beste-Chetwynde. 614 00:42:01,880 --> 00:42:03,990 What brings you here? 615 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:05,950 Bit of lunch. I work near here. 616 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:10,430 Darling, why don't you talk to your friend? I'll wait for you outside. 617 00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:11,870 What line of work are you in? 618 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,310 I work for the League of Nations. 619 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,390 Gosh. Good for you, Pottsie. 620 00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:17,750 Always knew you'd end up doing something impressive. 621 00:42:17,800 --> 00:42:19,870 Are you going to save us all from another war? 622 00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:24,070 Actually, I work in a department that's an offshoot, of, er... 623 00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:25,670 an extension of the main unit. 624 00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:27,310 Golly. 625 00:42:27,360 --> 00:42:28,950 What are you up to? 626 00:42:29,000 --> 00:42:31,470 I always thought the manner of your expulsion from university 627 00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,270 was a great injustice, Paul. 628 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:36,070 - Thank you, Portsie. - I'll tell you, I gave Digby-Vaine-Trumpington 629 00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:37,470 a piece of my mind on the matter. 630 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:38,510 - Did you? - Hm. 631 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:41,230 I told him you'd had your whole future shattered. 632 00:42:41,280 --> 00:42:42,910 Do you know how he replied? 633 00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,990 He said he'd send you £20. 634 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:47,990 Well, I never got it. 635 00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:49,640 I told him not to send it. 636 00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:52,710 Thank you(!) 637 00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:54,830 Probably for the best, in the end. 638 00:42:54,880 --> 00:42:58,270 I'd heard you'd had to become a teacher. 639 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,040 Yes. But I'm giving that up, now that I've met Margot. 640 00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:04,880 Good to see you. 641 00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,910 Now, I don't want you talking to the girls 642 00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:22,470 who are auditioning for the show. 643 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:24,390 I don't want them feeling too judged. 644 00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:27,480 No, of course not. Thank you so much for this, Margot. 645 00:43:29,000 --> 00:43:30,710 I see you've got a new necklace. 646 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:32,830 Yes, Otto gave it to me. 647 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:34,270 Oh. 648 00:43:34,320 --> 00:43:37,830 They're ball bearings from an anti-aircraft gun. 649 00:43:37,880 --> 00:43:39,160 Shall we get started? 650 00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:41,880 Ladies! 651 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:46,870 Hello, darling. Name? 652 00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:48,910 Pompilia de la Conradine. 653 00:43:48,960 --> 00:43:50,070 Ah. Real name? 654 00:43:50,120 --> 00:43:51,790 Betsy Brown. 655 00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:52,910 Age? 656 00:43:52,960 --> 00:43:54,270 22. 657 00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:55,590 Real age? 658 00:43:55,640 --> 00:43:57,400 22. 659 00:43:58,400 --> 00:43:59,790 Experience? 660 00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:03,230 I was at Mrs Rosenbaum's in St James' for two years, ma'am. 661 00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:07,030 I'll see. Well, I will try and find something for you. 662 00:44:07,080 --> 00:44:09,950 But tell me, why did you leave Mrs Rosenbaum's? 663 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,110 She said the gentlemen like a change. 664 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,400 Hm. 665 00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,040 Mrs Rosenbaum's, please. 666 00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:28,950 Oh, yes, hello. This is the Latin American Entertainment Company. 667 00:44:29,000 --> 00:44:32,880 I have a Betsy Brown here. Can you tell me a little bit about her? 668 00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:39,510 I see. Well, I thought that was the case. Thank you. 669 00:44:39,560 --> 00:44:42,110 Well, I'm sorry, darling, 670 00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,790 I'm not going to be able to use you until you're better again. 671 00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,520 Thank you. 672 00:44:48,720 --> 00:44:51,870 What was wrong with her? She seemed fit to me. 673 00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:55,790 - Sadly not. - You didn't ask her to sing or dance? 674 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:59,270 Well, one learns to judge those things by sight. 675 00:44:59,320 --> 00:45:01,160 Next! 676 00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,750 Hello, darling. Name? 677 00:45:04,800 --> 00:45:06,630 Renee von Banky. 678 00:45:06,680 --> 00:45:08,310 Real name? 679 00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:10,000 Jane Jenkins. 680 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:12,960 Great. Jane, give us a turn. 681 00:45:16,520 --> 00:45:18,990 Very nice. How did you hear about us? 682 00:45:19,040 --> 00:45:21,470 My father in Cardiff told me about you. 683 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:25,230 Ah, yes, often the way. So you're new to this business? 684 00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:26,430 Yes, ma'am. 685 00:45:26,480 --> 00:45:28,550 Excellent. When could you sail? 686 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,670 When do you want me? 687 00:45:30,720 --> 00:45:32,670 Well, we have a few vacancies in Rio. 688 00:45:32,720 --> 00:45:35,110 Four or five of the girls are going to travel there 689 00:45:35,160 --> 00:45:36,630 from Marseilles next month. 690 00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:38,310 Would you be able to join them? 691 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,390 Yes, ma'am. I'd be very pleased to, I'm sure. 692 00:45:41,440 --> 00:45:43,480 Thank you. 693 00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:50,760 Next! 694 00:45:53,240 --> 00:45:57,190 Well, that's the last of them. Were you terribly bored, my angel? 695 00:45:57,240 --> 00:46:00,710 No, Margot, you were wonderful. Like an empress. 696 00:46:00,760 --> 00:46:03,070 Now, pop outside and wait for me in the car. 697 00:46:03,120 --> 00:46:04,920 I have a few phone calls to make. 698 00:46:10,920 --> 00:46:13,310 All right, ladies, how did that go? 699 00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,110 Good? Everyone happy? Good. 700 00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,430 I'm sure you'll all be off to Rio before you can say "dengue fever". 701 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:21,590 OK, come on, then. Hurry up. 702 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:23,080 Grimes? 703 00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:29,350 Pennyfeather! 704 00:46:29,400 --> 00:46:33,710 My dear chap, I thought I'd encounter you again. 705 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:35,630 How are you? 706 00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,510 You're not dead?! 707 00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:39,870 No, no, no. Fighting fit. 708 00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,350 Forgive the vegetation. 709 00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,710 A changed face is necessary at the moment. 710 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,710 Are you in the soup again? 711 00:46:45,760 --> 00:46:49,670 No, not this time. But, er, my suicide didn't go down well. 712 00:46:49,720 --> 00:46:53,390 No body at the funeral and then, I gather, my first wife turned up, 713 00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:57,320 which went down badly with Flossie and the police and... 714 00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:01,670 - They're all after me. - What on Earth are you doing here? 715 00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:04,350 Working. Landed on my feet again. 716 00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:05,990 - Foot! - Shush, Renee. 717 00:47:06,040 --> 00:47:08,310 No, I was hiding out in a pub in Soho, 718 00:47:08,360 --> 00:47:11,390 when I heard that this syndicate were looking for a chap to travel 719 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:15,070 to Rio with a group of ladies, to run a place of entertainment there. 720 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:18,470 They were hoping to have someone who could control themselves 721 00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:20,630 when it came to the ladies. 722 00:47:20,680 --> 00:47:22,190 So, I said, "Where do I sign?" 723 00:47:22,240 --> 00:47:26,030 So, we're both working for Mrs Beste-Chetwynde? 724 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,350 Yes, indeed. The team reunited. 725 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:31,910 Only goes to show how small the world is. 726 00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,430 Well, it's wonderful to see you back at full force. 727 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:35,870 Oh, yes. 728 00:47:35,920 --> 00:47:37,470 We must have a drink before you sail. 729 00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:41,550 We must. Now... you can reach me here. 730 00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:42,920 Jolly good. 731 00:47:45,040 --> 00:47:46,680 Chop-chop, ladies. 732 00:47:48,240 --> 00:47:51,030 And it's for these reasons that Rome fell to the Goths. 733 00:47:51,080 --> 00:47:52,640 I see. 734 00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:58,680 Let's pause on history for a moment and consider some maths. 735 00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:03,390 I need to do quadratic equations, apparently. 736 00:48:03,440 --> 00:48:06,720 Peter, is something bothering you? 737 00:48:09,800 --> 00:48:12,550 I don't want Mother to marry Otto Silenus. 738 00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,590 Oh, I'm sure she won't. She turned him down. 739 00:48:15,640 --> 00:48:18,150 He proposed to her again yesterday on a boat. 740 00:48:18,200 --> 00:48:20,630 He made a speech about beauty 741 00:48:20,680 --> 00:48:23,350 and he gave her a necklace made out of ball bearings. 742 00:48:23,400 --> 00:48:28,030 But Otto's going out with Pamela Popham, who was at the party. 743 00:48:28,080 --> 00:48:29,710 - Lady Popham? - Yes. 744 00:48:29,760 --> 00:48:32,790 Oh, I don't think so. She's married to Lord Popham. 745 00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,360 That would be scandalous. 746 00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:38,990 I'd much rather Mother married you. 747 00:48:39,040 --> 00:48:40,550 I'm sure she's only marrying Otto 748 00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:42,550 to get all the other annoying suitors off her back. 749 00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:44,390 You'd rather she married me? 750 00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:47,510 She clearly cares about you a great deal, Mr Pennyfeather, 751 00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,910 as do I. But... it's too late. 752 00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:54,360 She's engaged to the "genius". 753 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:00,870 He's a famous architect, 754 00:49:00,920 --> 00:49:03,070 engaged to be married to Margot Beste-Chetwynde, 755 00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:06,270 but I know that he's having an affair with Lady Pamela Popham. 756 00:49:06,320 --> 00:49:10,030 He's going round to visit her house on Friday night, Audley Street. 757 00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:12,390 If you could get a photo and piece in The Daily, Tom, 758 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:14,030 I'd be incredibly grateful. 759 00:49:14,080 --> 00:49:15,200 This is good stuff. 760 00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:17,800 Sordid affair. 761 00:49:19,320 --> 00:49:21,400 And he's German, as well, isn't he? 762 00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:23,880 The bastard! 763 00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,590 Oh, thank you, James. I've forgotten my gloves inside. 764 00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,390 - Can you run and get them? - Yes, my lady. 765 00:49:43,440 --> 00:49:45,550 Oh, thank you for waiting. 766 00:49:45,600 --> 00:49:47,670 Shall we go to Claridge's and have some pastis? 767 00:49:47,720 --> 00:49:49,480 That sounds lovely. 768 00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:53,950 Oh, Otto, you stupid man! 769 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,630 What's happened? 770 00:49:55,680 --> 00:49:59,230 But he's been seen coming out of Pamela's house at midnight! 771 00:49:59,280 --> 00:50:01,190 She's married to Lord Popham. 772 00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:04,430 Oh, I can't be seen marrying Otto now. 773 00:50:04,480 --> 00:50:08,320 They'll mark me down as a cuckolded harlot. Oh! 774 00:50:09,440 --> 00:50:13,550 Margot, please don't marry Otto. He doesn't love you. 775 00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:15,230 He only loves himself. 776 00:50:15,280 --> 00:50:18,910 But I love you. Deeply. Sincerely. 777 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:20,910 More than I know how to express. 778 00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:22,390 Shush, don't make a scene. 779 00:50:22,440 --> 00:50:24,430 There's only you and me here. 780 00:50:24,480 --> 00:50:26,390 Well, go on. 781 00:50:26,440 --> 00:50:29,430 Margot, will you make me the happiest man in the world 782 00:50:29,480 --> 00:50:31,070 by marrying me? 783 00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,920 I adore you. And Peter says he'd like you to marry me. 784 00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:39,390 Oh, very well, Mr Pennyfeather. 785 00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:43,350 I do find you to be a delightful, foolish, handsome creature. 786 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:45,550 Let's do it. 787 00:50:45,600 --> 00:50:48,030 Will you be able to cope with being very rich? 788 00:50:48,080 --> 00:50:49,350 Yes. 789 00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:51,390 The money can be tiresome. 790 00:50:51,440 --> 00:50:54,310 If I'm with you, I'll be happy. 791 00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,360 Then, I say yes to you. 792 00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,830 Did you see our announcement in the paper? 793 00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:19,520 It's good, isn't it? 794 00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:22,840 Oh, my! 795 00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:28,440 Oh, let's see. Hm. 796 00:51:29,880 --> 00:51:33,710 They're from a man named Alistair Digby-Vaine-Trumpington. 797 00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:37,750 Ah. He attacked me at college. Took all my clothes off me. 798 00:51:37,800 --> 00:51:39,670 Oh, he sounds fun! 799 00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:42,510 And he seems to have sent us half the Amazon rain forest. 800 00:51:42,560 --> 00:51:45,950 Shall we have him at the wedding? He clearly wants to come. 801 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:49,110 - Why not? - I didn't realise you had so many old friends. 802 00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:50,350 Neither did I. 803 00:51:50,400 --> 00:51:53,150 Have you chosen one of them to be your best man yet? 804 00:51:53,200 --> 00:51:55,630 I don't know why, but I haven't heard back from Pottsie. 805 00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:58,990 Oh darling, you only have four days left to choose a best man. 806 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,190 Why don't you ask this Digby fella? 807 00:52:01,240 --> 00:52:02,990 Let me try and find Prendy first. 808 00:52:03,040 --> 00:52:06,470 Very well. Now, I'm having some dresses brought to the house, 809 00:52:06,520 --> 00:52:08,350 so I don't want you hanging around. 810 00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:12,470 Why don't you go out and buy some ties or some towels? 811 00:52:12,520 --> 00:52:13,790 Oh! 812 00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:17,190 Also, I was thinking we should have our honeymoon in my home in Corfu. 813 00:52:17,240 --> 00:52:18,510 Would you like that? 814 00:52:18,560 --> 00:52:20,430 Sounds lovely, darling. 815 00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,270 It used to belong to a little Frenchman. 816 00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:23,720 Napoleon. 817 00:52:51,480 --> 00:52:53,990 Paul! Something rather tiresome's happened. 818 00:52:54,040 --> 00:52:56,190 You know the girls who were sent down to Rio? 819 00:52:56,240 --> 00:52:57,870 With my friend Grimes? 820 00:52:57,920 --> 00:53:01,350 Yes, well, several of them have got stuck in Marseille. 821 00:53:01,400 --> 00:53:03,190 Something about their passports. 822 00:53:03,240 --> 00:53:05,350 It's such a bore that this is happening now, 823 00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:08,230 but I'd really like it fixed before our wedding. 824 00:53:08,280 --> 00:53:09,590 Before Saturday? 825 00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:12,430 Would you be an angel and go down there and sort it out? 826 00:53:12,480 --> 00:53:15,950 It's just a matter of giving the right man several hundred pounds. 827 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:17,630 You want me to go now? 828 00:53:17,680 --> 00:53:20,070 But... we get married in four days. 829 00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:21,830 Well, yes, but if you fly today, 830 00:53:21,880 --> 00:53:24,310 you can be there and back with plenty of time. 831 00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:28,710 I would go myself, but I haven't a minute to spare this week. 832 00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:30,670 No. Of course. 833 00:53:30,720 --> 00:53:31,950 Oh, good. 834 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:33,790 Jenny! 835 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:36,540 I've booked you on the 5pm flight to Marseilles. 836 00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:19,110 Merci. 837 00:54:19,160 --> 00:54:22,920 Merci, monsieur. Gardez bien votre chapeau. 838 00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:25,080 Thank you. 839 00:54:49,160 --> 00:54:50,360 Give me that back. 840 00:55:07,360 --> 00:55:11,990 Bonsoir. Je cherche pour Jane Jenkins et Marie Dubois? 841 00:55:12,040 --> 00:55:14,550 De Latin American Entertainment Company? 842 00:55:14,600 --> 00:55:16,120 Upstairs. 843 00:55:21,520 --> 00:55:23,830 I'm so sorry you've had to stay in this awful area. 844 00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:27,280 Don't worry, ladies, I'm here to help. 845 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,510 Mr Pennyfeather, you are under arrest 846 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:38,870 for aiding and abetting prostitution, 847 00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,520 for slave trading and for passport forgery. 848 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,950 This is your new home. 849 00:55:44,000 --> 00:55:46,190 You are going to hate it here SO much. 850 00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:47,480 Super. 851 00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:50,950 Oh, how are you? Is it awful here? 852 00:55:51,000 --> 00:55:52,550 Awful. 853 00:55:52,600 --> 00:55:54,710 I need to get out of here, too. 854 00:55:54,760 --> 00:55:56,480 I have to escape. 63747

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