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1
00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,060
I can't believe we're
riding in the elevator
2
00:00:02,071 --> 00:00:03,738
as boyfriend and girlfriend
for the first time!
3
00:00:05,003 --> 00:00:06,702
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
4
00:00:17,180 --> 00:00:19,026
I can't believe we're in your
penthouse as boyfriend and girlfriend
5
00:00:19,037 --> 00:00:20,850
for the first time!
6
00:00:25,437 --> 00:00:28,538
I can't believe we just had sex in
your bed as boyfriend and girlfriend
7
00:00:28,573 --> 00:00:29,706
for the first time!
8
00:00:29,741 --> 00:00:32,642
And on the floor and on the dresser.
9
00:00:32,677 --> 00:00:35,578
You know, I... I thought
punch card sex was amazing,
10
00:00:35,614 --> 00:00:39,349
"I love you" sex? Off the charts.
11
00:00:39,384 --> 00:00:41,618
Hey, uh... can you say
those three little words again?
12
00:00:41,653 --> 00:00:43,620
Yeah. Off the charts.
13
00:00:43,655 --> 00:00:47,390
No... Yeah. The other three words?
14
00:00:49,795 --> 00:00:51,561
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
15
00:00:53,431 --> 00:00:55,532
Hey, you know what I'm thinkin'?
16
00:00:55,567 --> 00:00:56,866
- You're starving?
- Yes!
17
00:00:56,902 --> 00:00:59,536
Oh my God, I can't believe I just
read your mind for the first time
18
00:00:59,571 --> 00:01:00,609
as boyfriend, girlfriend!
19
00:01:00,636 --> 00:01:01,205
Gabi...
20
00:01:01,216 --> 00:01:02,515
You know what? I just
read you mind again,
21
00:01:02,534 --> 00:01:04,634
and I'm gonna stop
with the first-time stuff.
22
00:01:06,444 --> 00:01:10,193
Hey, so, um... do I make you
breakfast as your chef,
23
00:01:10,300 --> 00:01:11,633
or as your girlfriend?
24
00:01:11,668 --> 00:01:13,535
Won't the eggs taste the same?
25
00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:15,503
I don't know, I mean,
it's kind of weird.
26
00:01:15,539 --> 00:01:17,272
We're a couple, but I work for you.
27
00:01:17,307 --> 00:01:20,275
I mean, what's to stop you
from comin' up behind me
28
00:01:20,310 --> 00:01:21,643
when I'm workin' and grabbin' me?
29
00:01:21,678 --> 00:01:24,212
Nothing!
30
00:01:24,247 --> 00:01:26,448
That's the point. I mean,
it's kind of unprofessional.
31
00:01:26,483 --> 00:01:28,550
(GASPS) Oh, hey, hey, wait a minute.
32
00:01:28,585 --> 00:01:31,586
What about, when I'm wearing
my apron, I'm your chef,
33
00:01:31,621 --> 00:01:33,488
and when I'm not, I'm your girlfriend?
34
00:01:33,523 --> 00:01:35,557
But what will you be
when you're wearing nothing?
35
00:01:35,592 --> 00:01:37,292
Late for work.
36
00:01:37,485 --> 00:01:40,110
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
37
00:01:40,123 --> 00:01:43,623
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
38
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:45,700
? She in the spotlight ?
39
00:01:45,736 --> 00:01:47,569
? And she turn my head ?
40
00:01:47,604 --> 00:01:49,537
? She run a red light ?
41
00:01:49,573 --> 00:01:51,439
? 'Cause she bad like that ?
42
00:01:51,475 --> 00:01:54,342
? I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby ?
43
00:01:54,377 --> 00:01:58,413
? Baby, I like that
ooh, baby, ooh, baby ?
44
00:02:02,686 --> 00:02:05,286
Yolanda, we have to talk.
45
00:02:05,322 --> 00:02:07,188
Alan and I spent
the entire weekend in bed,
46
00:02:07,224 --> 00:02:09,224
plowing through Downton Abbey.
47
00:02:09,259 --> 00:02:11,259
Is that where you put one leg
on the headboard...
48
00:02:11,294 --> 00:02:12,393
No!
49
00:02:14,531 --> 00:02:16,564
No, the TV show.
50
00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:19,567
We're exactly like the people
in Downton Abbey.
51
00:02:19,603 --> 00:02:22,370
They have upstairs people, like Josh,
52
00:02:22,405 --> 00:02:24,606
and downstairs people, like us.
53
00:02:24,641 --> 00:02:27,475
But when one of the downstairs
people, the chauffeur,
54
00:02:27,511 --> 00:02:31,646
married an upstairs person,
he got all the power.
55
00:02:31,681 --> 00:02:34,249
What are you saying?
56
00:02:34,284 --> 00:02:36,618
The chauffeur is Gabi!
The chauffeur is Gabi!
57
00:02:36,653 --> 00:02:38,553
She has all the power now.
58
00:02:38,588 --> 00:02:42,390
Don't you see? She's "Downton Gabi."
59
00:02:42,425 --> 00:02:43,558
That was clever.
60
00:02:44,661 --> 00:02:46,661
Baby, even if Gabi has the power,
61
00:02:46,696 --> 00:02:50,265
She's not gonna do nothin'
to me. She loves me.
62
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:53,401
Ooh, I see your problem.
63
00:02:53,436 --> 00:02:55,270
Gabi's gonna get you fired.
64
00:02:55,305 --> 00:02:57,372
That's what I'm afraid of!
65
00:02:57,407 --> 00:03:00,475
I rue the day she started
working here, that little...
66
00:03:00,510 --> 00:03:02,377
Milady!
67
00:03:04,214 --> 00:03:07,382
Did you just come
from a Vogue photo shoot?
68
00:03:07,417 --> 00:03:09,284
Uh, okay, what's wrong with my outfit?
69
00:03:09,319 --> 00:03:11,319
I think, the question is,
70
00:03:11,354 --> 00:03:12,620
what's right with it?
71
00:03:12,656 --> 00:03:14,622
And the answer is...
72
00:03:14,658 --> 00:03:17,358
(SINGSONGY) everything!
73
00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:19,627
Okay, Elliot, what's going on with you?
74
00:03:19,663 --> 00:03:21,529
Are you on Ecstasy?
75
00:03:21,565 --> 00:03:24,365
He's just been watchin'
too much TV, sister.
76
00:03:27,270 --> 00:03:29,404
Sister? Since when
do you call me sister?
77
00:03:29,439 --> 00:03:34,342
Oh... since you feel like family,
and family never fires each other.
78
00:03:34,377 --> 00:03:35,443
What?
79
00:03:35,478 --> 00:03:37,245
Ooh, gotta go.
80
00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,247
I got laundry to not do.
81
00:03:39,282 --> 00:03:40,682
Wait! You're not gonna tell Josh
I said that, are you?
82
00:03:40,717 --> 00:03:44,619
- No, of course not.
- Oh. Well, I'm off to the laundry room.
83
00:03:44,654 --> 00:03:47,288
To not drink. (LAUGHS)
84
00:03:47,324 --> 00:03:50,325
Uh, you're not gonna tell Josh
I winked, right?
85
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,427
Sorry, sister. (STAMMERS) Milady.
86
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,598
Okay. What is going on around here?
87
00:03:56,633 --> 00:04:00,501
(LAUGHS) That's a good one.
88
00:04:00,537 --> 00:04:02,437
You're hilarious!
89
00:04:02,472 --> 00:04:04,172
(LAUGHS)
90
00:04:06,155 --> 00:04:10,278
Okay, something very strange is
going on with Elliot and Yolanda.
91
00:04:10,313 --> 00:04:11,446
I think they're kind of freaking out
92
00:04:11,481 --> 00:04:12,547
because you and I are together.
93
00:04:12,582 --> 00:04:15,183
What? No. We've been together before.
94
00:04:15,218 --> 00:04:17,252
Yeah, but it's different
this time. I mean,
95
00:04:17,287 --> 00:04:20,288
we're in an actual relationship,
and since I'm sleeping here,
96
00:04:20,323 --> 00:04:22,523
that makes them see me
as the lady of the house.
97
00:04:22,559 --> 00:04:24,225
Gabi, that's ridiculous.
98
00:04:24,261 --> 00:04:26,394
Elliot called me "Milady."
99
00:04:27,597 --> 00:04:29,330
Okay, I'll talk to them.
100
00:04:29,366 --> 00:04:31,633
No, don't talk to 'em, then they'll
just know that I told on 'em.
101
00:04:31,668 --> 00:04:33,635
Actually, I have a better idea.
102
00:04:33,670 --> 00:04:36,204
Why don't you just start
sleepin' over at my place?
103
00:04:36,239 --> 00:04:37,205
Done.
104
00:04:37,240 --> 00:04:38,373
We're such a good couple.
105
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:40,541
Couple of lovebugs, ha! I
immediately regret saying that.
106
00:04:40,577 --> 00:04:42,210
Please still have sex with me.
107
00:04:50,687 --> 00:04:53,354
Oh my God. Gabi, wow.
108
00:04:53,390 --> 00:04:56,291
So, um, I know you're making
these biscuits for Josh,
109
00:04:56,326 --> 00:04:57,492
you're gonna tell me
that I can't eat any,
110
00:04:57,527 --> 00:04:59,460
but, uh, too late!
111
00:04:59,496 --> 00:05:01,262
That's okay, I'm not mad.
112
00:05:01,298 --> 00:05:05,391
You wanna know why? 'Cause Josh
and I are gonna eat these,
113
00:05:05,418 --> 00:05:06,894
then we're gonna have sex,
then we're gonna fall asleep,
114
00:05:06,905 --> 00:05:08,303
and then we're gonna have sex again,
then we're gonna fall asleep.
115
00:05:08,338 --> 00:05:09,437
Guess what we're doing in the morning?
116
00:05:09,472 --> 00:05:10,605
- Have sex again?
- Yeah!
117
00:05:12,509 --> 00:05:15,376
And then, we're gonna go to this
new bakery, the Rolling Scone.
118
00:05:15,412 --> 00:05:18,379
I'll order a raisin, but they'll
accidentally give me a blueberry,
119
00:05:18,415 --> 00:05:20,548
and then Josh will switch with me
because he's so sweet, oh my God,
120
00:05:20,583 --> 00:05:23,418
I am so happy, Sofia!
121
00:05:23,453 --> 00:05:25,186
Who isn't?
122
00:05:25,221 --> 00:05:26,621
Uh, Gabi, quick question.
123
00:05:26,656 --> 00:05:29,457
Um, is Josh sleeping here gonna be like
124
00:05:29,492 --> 00:05:31,225
a every night thing now?
125
00:05:31,261 --> 00:05:33,628
Oh, no, not every night, just
until, you know, Elliot and Yolanda
126
00:05:33,663 --> 00:05:36,364
get used to me and Josh's new situation.
127
00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:37,632
Okay, but what about my situation?
128
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:40,301
I mean, what if I want
to bring my boyfriend over?
129
00:05:40,337 --> 00:05:42,203
Oh my God, you got a boyfriend?
130
00:05:42,238 --> 00:05:43,571
I said "if."
131
00:05:45,308 --> 00:05:46,674
Hey, Sofia! How you doin'?
132
00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:49,477
Oh, yeah. Don't act like you don't
want me to leave. I'm leaving.
133
00:05:49,512 --> 00:05:51,212
Who said I wanted you to leave?
134
00:05:51,247 --> 00:05:53,481
Thank God she's gone.
135
00:05:53,516 --> 00:05:55,583
- Hey, girlfriend.
- Hey, boyfriend.
136
00:05:55,618 --> 00:05:58,319
Hey, uh, I brought something
special for my first night here.
137
00:05:58,355 --> 00:05:59,387
What is it?
138
00:05:59,422 --> 00:06:00,455
Shwah!
139
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:01,589
Oh my God, that's so cute.
140
00:06:01,624 --> 00:06:03,624
It'll be the first time
you brush your teeth here.
141
00:06:03,660 --> 00:06:05,560
Yeah. Right after
the first time I shower here.
142
00:06:05,595 --> 00:06:07,161
Hope you don't mind.
143
00:06:07,197 --> 00:06:09,464
The showers at the Crossfit Gym
are... kinda gross.
144
00:06:17,407 --> 00:06:21,642
GABI: Oh, hey, Josh, if we're out of
TP, I've got some coffee filters.
145
00:06:21,678 --> 00:06:24,345
Uh, that's... that's uh,
good, that's okay.
146
00:06:24,381 --> 00:06:26,581
There's... already some in here.
147
00:06:30,286 --> 00:06:32,286
(EXHALES)
148
00:06:32,322 --> 00:06:33,421
It's okay.
149
00:06:33,456 --> 00:06:36,324
(INHALES, EXHALES) It's okay.
150
00:06:36,359 --> 00:06:38,292
She's got a lot of
really good qualities.
151
00:06:44,501 --> 00:06:47,502
I'm just gonna...
gonna take a quick shower.
152
00:06:47,537 --> 00:06:49,504
Everything's gonna be fine,
it's gonna be fine.
153
00:06:51,608 --> 00:06:53,408
GABI: Oh, and Josh,
when you turn on the shower,
154
00:06:53,443 --> 00:06:55,309
don't let the brown water freak you out.
155
00:06:55,345 --> 00:06:56,377
Just be patient, it goes away.
156
00:06:56,413 --> 00:06:57,478
That's great to know!
157
00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:03,284
Okay, definitely not taking a shower.
158
00:07:03,319 --> 00:07:05,420
Oh, thank God, a Wet-Nap.
159
00:07:05,455 --> 00:07:07,455
Not a Wet-Nap. It's sticky,
it has hair on it!
160
00:07:07,490 --> 00:07:10,291
Oh my God, it's a wax strip!
161
00:07:10,326 --> 00:07:13,194
Oh... Okay, you know what?
162
00:07:13,229 --> 00:07:14,429
I'm brushin' my teeth.
163
00:07:14,464 --> 00:07:16,564
Brushin' my teeth. She's gotta
have toothpaste in here.
164
00:07:17,667 --> 00:07:19,367
I'm not touching you.
165
00:07:27,310 --> 00:07:31,446
(SCREAMING)
166
00:07:31,481 --> 00:07:33,381
(WHIMPERING)
167
00:07:38,488 --> 00:07:41,489
Did I tell you how happy I am to
be spending the night with you?
168
00:07:41,524 --> 00:07:43,224
Aww!
169
00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:44,325
Hey, that was a really quick shower.
170
00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:45,660
Yeah, couldn't wait to get
the hell out of there.
171
00:07:45,695 --> 00:07:47,295
To be with you.
172
00:07:47,330 --> 00:07:48,362
Aww.
173
00:07:48,398 --> 00:07:50,465
Hey, uh... you know what I was thinking?
174
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:52,200
That we should go to a hotel?
175
00:07:52,235 --> 00:07:54,469
Uh, I was thinking...
176
00:07:54,504 --> 00:07:56,604
that we should do it on the counter.
177
00:07:56,639 --> 00:08:00,241
Oh. Uh, that is, uh... dirty.
178
00:08:01,277 --> 00:08:02,343
Hell, yeah, it is.
179
00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,178
- Yeah, right.
- Oh!
180
00:08:04,214 --> 00:08:05,480
Hey!
181
00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:06,581
(SQUEALS)
182
00:08:06,616 --> 00:08:08,316
Where, uh... Where are we goin'?
183
00:08:08,351 --> 00:08:09,373
Anywhere but the counter.
184
00:08:09,384 --> 00:08:11,262
Oh... how about we do it in the shower?
185
00:08:11,287 --> 00:08:12,520
How about we do it on the counter?
186
00:08:19,362 --> 00:08:21,362
How can you not be hot?
187
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,633
- (BEDSPRING SNAPS)
- (GROANS)
188
00:08:27,270 --> 00:08:28,636
(GROANS, WHIMPERS)
189
00:08:33,209 --> 00:08:34,275
(WHISPERS) Oh, come on.
190
00:08:36,679 --> 00:08:39,447
(GUNSHOTS NEARBY)
191
00:08:41,551 --> 00:08:46,254
(POLICE SIREN WAILING)
192
00:08:58,468 --> 00:09:00,434
(MUTTERING)
193
00:09:16,216 --> 00:09:17,482
Hey, Gabi!
194
00:09:20,187 --> 00:09:22,354
Okay, so... about last night...
195
00:09:22,389 --> 00:09:23,555
No. Apron!
196
00:09:23,590 --> 00:09:25,490
Remember, when I'm wearing
my apron, I'm only your chef,
197
00:09:25,526 --> 00:09:26,525
so we can't talk about it.
198
00:09:28,195 --> 00:09:29,528
Fine, we won't talk about it.
199
00:09:33,133 --> 00:09:34,432
How can we not talk about it?
200
00:09:34,468 --> 00:09:36,168
I mean, it was our first
full night together
201
00:09:36,203 --> 00:09:37,435
at my apartment, and I
woke up in the morning
202
00:09:37,471 --> 00:09:38,670
and you weren't there.
203
00:09:38,705 --> 00:09:41,173
- Can I please explain?
- No, you don't have to explain.
204
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:44,276
I know what's going on, I... I mean, we
spent four nights together in Aspen,
205
00:09:44,311 --> 00:09:46,411
and then we came back here, and we
spent another night at your place,
206
00:09:46,446 --> 00:09:48,146
and you're feeling smothered.
207
00:09:48,182 --> 00:09:50,549
No! No! No!
208
00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:53,351
Gabi, I had... I had a business call.
At 7:00 a.m.
209
00:09:53,387 --> 00:09:54,586
That's why I left early.
210
00:09:54,621 --> 00:09:58,156
Oh, really? 'Cause I woke up at
four, and you weren't there.
211
00:09:58,192 --> 00:10:01,259
Yes... because the call was in New York.
212
00:10:01,295 --> 00:10:04,462
And... and they're three hours ahead.
213
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,571
They are?
214
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:09,520
Believe me, if I didn't
have that call, I
215
00:10:09,531 --> 00:10:12,380
could've stayed in bed with you all day.
216
00:10:12,406 --> 00:10:14,339
Aww...
217
00:10:14,374 --> 00:10:17,409
- So are we good?
- Yes. We're very good.
218
00:10:17,444 --> 00:10:20,245
- Okay. So I'll see you tonight?
- Here?
219
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,447
Oh. No, silly, my place.
220
00:10:22,482 --> 00:10:23,719
Oh, but I have to warn you, I spent so
221
00:10:23,730 --> 00:10:25,193
much time being angry this morning,
222
00:10:25,219 --> 00:10:26,251
I didn't have time to clean up.
223
00:10:26,286 --> 00:10:28,286
I'm sure I'll barely notice!
224
00:10:33,360 --> 00:10:34,626
Hi, my name's Josh Kaminski.
225
00:10:34,661 --> 00:10:37,329
I'm lookin' for a new
cleaning lady, ASAP.
226
00:10:38,365 --> 00:10:40,232
A new cleanin' lady?
227
00:10:40,267 --> 00:10:41,566
I told you!
228
00:10:41,602 --> 00:10:44,402
No... No, I... Look,
I love the one I have.
229
00:10:44,438 --> 00:10:46,404
But I'm just doin' this
for my girlfriend.
230
00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,173
(GASPS) That bitch!
231
00:10:48,208 --> 00:10:50,508
Don't you call my new boss names.
232
00:10:50,544 --> 00:10:52,344
Yeah, I need to clean house.
233
00:10:52,379 --> 00:10:54,579
I had no idea what a disaster
these two were.
234
00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:57,249
- Two? That bitch.
- Mm!
235
00:11:05,325 --> 00:11:07,459
Oh my God, Gabi! You're not
gonna believe what happened!
236
00:11:07,494 --> 00:11:08,593
(GASPS) You met someone?
237
00:11:08,629 --> 00:11:11,263
Haha, no!
238
00:11:11,298 --> 00:11:13,265
Now close your eyes and get ready
239
00:11:13,300 --> 00:11:16,167
for the greatest surprise ever!
240
00:11:17,537 --> 00:11:19,237
Okay, open 'em.
241
00:11:19,273 --> 00:11:20,338
Can you believe it!
242
00:11:21,508 --> 00:11:23,408
Oh my God, what happened
to our apartment?
243
00:11:23,443 --> 00:11:26,344
I don't know! I got home from
work, and there was a maid here,
244
00:11:26,380 --> 00:11:29,147
and all these delivery people
that Josh sent!
245
00:11:29,182 --> 00:11:31,583
And look, Gabi. A real bed,
246
00:11:31,618 --> 00:11:33,551
with memory foam.
247
00:11:33,587 --> 00:11:35,387
(WHISPERING) It's hugging me.
248
00:11:35,422 --> 00:11:38,189
Wait. But... But what
was wrong with my old bed?
249
00:11:38,225 --> 00:11:41,393
And look at this, Gabi... a new fridge!
250
00:11:41,428 --> 00:11:43,328
And this one actually keeps
stuff cold, so on hot days,
251
00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:45,463
we can open the door
and stick our faces in it,
252
00:11:45,499 --> 00:11:46,564
except we don't have to,
253
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:51,536
because now we have
a brand-new air conditioner!
254
00:11:51,571 --> 00:11:54,539
Wait. But... But why would
Josh do all of this?
255
00:11:54,574 --> 00:11:57,442
Because he's a God, Gabi.
256
00:11:57,477 --> 00:12:00,545
And wait! You haven't seen
the best part yet.
257
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:03,548
Behold, our brand-new...
258
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:06,384
bathroom.
259
00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,286
Wow.
260
00:12:08,322 --> 00:12:09,421
He put in a new shower?
261
00:12:09,456 --> 00:12:11,222
And a new showerhead.
262
00:12:11,258 --> 00:12:13,124
I named him Darius.
263
00:12:15,495 --> 00:12:17,395
I don't believe this.
264
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,399
So?
265
00:12:21,435 --> 00:12:23,335
Do you love it?
266
00:12:23,370 --> 00:12:25,270
How dare you!
267
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,915
You changed everything in my apartment.
268
00:12:29,973 --> 00:12:30,953
Who does that.
269
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,017
Josh does that.
270
00:12:32,032 --> 00:12:33,819
Because he's magnificent.
271
00:12:35,091 --> 00:12:38,252
Now if anyone needs me, I'll be
spending some quality time with Darius.
272
00:12:40,441 --> 00:12:42,507
I mean, you didn't even ask me.
273
00:12:42,543 --> 00:12:44,815
Why would I ask you? That's like asking
274
00:12:44,826 --> 00:12:47,389
a homeless person if they want a home.
275
00:12:48,113 --> 00:12:50,482
What does that mean?
276
00:12:50,517 --> 00:12:52,286
I'll tell you what it means, it means
277
00:12:52,297 --> 00:12:54,496
I think you think my stuff is crap.
278
00:12:54,521 --> 00:12:57,489
Is that what you think, Josh?
Huh? Is it? Is it? Say it!
279
00:12:57,524 --> 00:12:58,557
It's crap!
280
00:12:58,592 --> 00:13:00,325
(GASPS) I can't believe
281
00:13:00,361 --> 00:13:01,560
you just called my crappy stuff crap!
282
00:13:01,595 --> 00:13:03,629
- You just called your stuff crap!
- I'm allowed to
283
00:13:03,664 --> 00:13:06,632
because it's my crap,
and I love my crap!
284
00:13:06,667 --> 00:13:08,600
I mean, I love my crappy bed.
285
00:13:08,636 --> 00:13:10,335
It was impossible to sleep in!
286
00:13:10,371 --> 00:13:13,372
No, it wasn't. That mattress was
perfectly molded to my body.
287
00:13:13,407 --> 00:13:15,641
What isn't molded in this apartment?
288
00:13:15,676 --> 00:13:18,210
That's the reason you left
in the middle of the night.
289
00:13:18,245 --> 00:13:19,678
There was no business call in New York!
290
00:13:19,713 --> 00:13:22,247
You snuck out of here
because you hated it here!
291
00:13:22,283 --> 00:13:24,216
You hated every second of being here!
292
00:13:24,251 --> 00:13:25,317
- Not every second.
- (GASPS)
293
00:13:25,352 --> 00:13:27,252
Just most seconds!
294
00:13:27,288 --> 00:13:29,554
Gabi, I'm a grown man,
and I like grown-man comforts.
295
00:13:29,590 --> 00:13:32,257
Comforts that I purchased for you,
296
00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:33,492
that any other woman would love.
297
00:13:33,527 --> 00:13:35,294
SOFIA (SQUEALING): I love this!
298
00:13:37,264 --> 00:13:39,231
So you did all this for me?
299
00:13:39,266 --> 00:13:40,232
Yes.
300
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,433
Uh, you didn't do it for yourself,
301
00:13:41,468 --> 00:13:43,435
'cause maybe things
weren't to your liking
302
00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,237
and you're just a little bit spoiled?
303
00:13:46,273 --> 00:13:47,406
What?
304
00:13:47,441 --> 00:13:49,708
I'm Josh Kaminski,
I can only bathe in places
305
00:13:49,743 --> 00:13:51,443
with zero black mold!
306
00:13:51,478 --> 00:13:54,680
I can't sleep in a bed
if there's pizza in it!
307
00:13:54,715 --> 00:13:56,481
I guess immaturity
comes with the apartment.
308
00:13:56,517 --> 00:13:58,450
Well, I guess spoiled
goes in your apartment.
309
00:13:58,485 --> 00:13:59,484
It's actually a penthouse.
310
00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:00,485
- Spoiled guy says what?
- What?
311
00:14:00,521 --> 00:14:01,520
Boom!
312
00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:04,323
There's the maturity I've grown to love.
313
00:14:04,358 --> 00:14:08,193
Uh-huh, okay, I'll just see ya later.
Have a nice bike ride home.
314
00:14:08,228 --> 00:14:11,263
OH, OH, ONE MORE THING- (SPUTTERS)
315
00:14:18,505 --> 00:14:21,239
That's it? Those downstairs
people didn't do anything
316
00:14:21,275 --> 00:14:23,275
when they got fired. They just took it.
317
00:14:23,310 --> 00:14:26,411
Well, they're British.
They leave with dignity.
318
00:14:26,447 --> 00:14:28,246
Well, I'm American, and I'm leavin'
319
00:14:28,282 --> 00:14:30,382
with half the wine cellar.
320
00:14:30,417 --> 00:14:33,251
You're right, girl.
Let's loot this bitch!
321
00:14:35,622 --> 00:14:38,724
The beauty is, he's not even
gonna notice this stuff is gone.
322
00:14:38,759 --> 00:14:41,493
Yeah! He'll never miss
all his old boxers!
323
00:14:42,563 --> 00:14:45,297
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
324
00:14:45,332 --> 00:14:46,598
Josh!
325
00:14:46,633 --> 00:14:48,367
Thank God you guys are here.
326
00:14:48,402 --> 00:14:50,268
Gabi and I just got into a huge fight.
327
00:14:50,304 --> 00:14:51,536
Because you stood up for us?
328
00:14:51,572 --> 00:14:54,306
And finally stopped letting
that bitch walk all over you?
329
00:14:55,642 --> 00:14:57,442
What are you guys talkin' about?
330
00:14:57,478 --> 00:14:59,311
Yeah, Yolanda, quiet!
331
00:15:01,281 --> 00:15:02,381
What happened, honey?
332
00:15:02,416 --> 00:15:04,216
Well, first I got Gabi
this maid service,
333
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:05,617
and then I purchased some stuff
for her apartment, so...
334
00:15:05,652 --> 00:15:09,454
Wait! Back up, back up.
You got Gabi a maid service?
335
00:15:09,490 --> 00:15:11,590
Yeah, I can't ask you
to do it, you work here.
336
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:15,327
I do? I mean, like a damn dog I do.
337
00:15:16,630 --> 00:15:19,398
And I still work here like a
cute little kitten, right?
338
00:15:19,433 --> 00:15:20,432
Meow.
339
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:23,141
Of course you do.
340
00:15:24,638 --> 00:15:29,207
- What is all this stuff?
- Uh, uh, um... As your employees,
341
00:15:29,243 --> 00:15:32,644
and friends for life, we were
anticipating all the ups and downs
342
00:15:32,679 --> 00:15:37,516
of a new relationship, and we decided
to restock your necessities.
343
00:15:37,551 --> 00:15:40,619
Basically, what Downtown Flabby
is trying to say is,
344
00:15:40,654 --> 00:15:42,687
we're here for you.
345
00:15:42,723 --> 00:15:44,322
Thanks, guys.
346
00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:47,559
We're not getting fired!
347
00:15:47,594 --> 00:15:49,694
I know!
348
00:15:49,730 --> 00:15:51,596
Now, I'm gonna go
put all this stuff away.
349
00:15:51,632 --> 00:15:53,398
You go and see
if we can get the deposit back
350
00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:54,599
on that U-Haul.
351
00:15:59,540 --> 00:16:02,207
Do I want my ice cubed or crushed?
352
00:16:02,242 --> 00:16:04,576
Cubed or crushed? (LAUGHS)
353
00:16:04,611 --> 00:16:08,213
? I love my brand-new fridge ?
354
00:16:08,248 --> 00:16:10,649
Don't get too used to that
thing, it's goin' back.
355
00:16:10,684 --> 00:16:12,617
It's all goin' back!
356
00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:15,287
(SIGHS) Gabi, I hate
seeing you so upset.
357
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:18,356
You think maybe a caramel macchiato
with a foam heart and a cookie straw
358
00:16:18,392 --> 00:16:20,258
might cheer you up?
359
00:16:20,294 --> 00:16:24,196
No! Nothing Josh bought for this
apartment is gonna cheer me up!
360
00:16:24,231 --> 00:16:26,631
Not even watching
Titanic with surround sound...
361
00:16:26,667 --> 00:16:29,334
(ECHOING) sound, sound, sound.
362
00:16:29,369 --> 00:16:32,604
You don't get it. Josh rejected all
my stuff, which means he rejected me!
363
00:16:32,639 --> 00:16:34,506
Gabi, that is not at all what it means.
364
00:16:34,541 --> 00:16:35,856
You're just taking his side because you
365
00:16:35,874 --> 00:16:37,349
don't wanna give up
your heated towel rack.
366
00:16:37,411 --> 00:16:40,479
No, what I'm say...
There's a heated towel rack?
367
00:16:40,514 --> 00:16:41,513
It doesn't matter!
368
00:16:41,548 --> 00:16:43,515
What matters is we're
obviously not compatible,
369
00:16:43,550 --> 00:16:46,351
and it took being in a
relationship to figure that out!
370
00:16:46,386 --> 00:16:48,420
Get real, Gabi, no one's compatible!
371
00:16:50,257 --> 00:16:52,557
Well, then... why do other
relationships work?
372
00:16:52,593 --> 00:16:55,227
Because of a little thing
called compromise.
373
00:16:55,262 --> 00:16:58,230
Look at us. Right? I could
be so mad at you right now
374
00:16:58,265 --> 00:17:00,365
because you're makin'
a big deal out of nothin'.
375
00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,766
But I'm not mad, because I'm on my third
376
00:17:01,802 --> 00:17:05,303
frozen margarita that our new
refrigerator blends automagically.
377
00:17:05,339 --> 00:17:07,305
- (KNOCKING ON DOOR)
- Oh, who could that be?
378
00:17:07,341 --> 00:17:10,408
Could it be the new maid
that Josh got us?
379
00:17:10,444 --> 00:17:12,277
I finish all your laundry.
380
00:17:12,312 --> 00:17:15,347
Oh... thank you, Mrs. Doubtfire.
381
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:17,315
See? She doesn't even care
that I call her that.
382
00:17:18,652 --> 00:17:21,453
(SIGHS) I don't wanna talk
about this anymore.
383
00:17:21,488 --> 00:17:27,192
I just wanna go to sleep and forget
this... Holy crap, this bed!
384
00:17:27,227 --> 00:17:28,393
Right?
385
00:17:28,428 --> 00:17:32,397
(SIGHS) Oh, it's so cozy and warm.
386
00:17:32,432 --> 00:17:34,299
Yeah.
387
00:17:34,334 --> 00:17:35,634
It's almost a little too warm.
388
00:17:35,669 --> 00:17:37,469
Mm.
389
00:17:37,504 --> 00:17:38,503
Boop!
390
00:17:39,640 --> 00:17:41,239
(SIGHS)
391
00:17:41,275 --> 00:17:43,408
How does that feel?
392
00:17:43,443 --> 00:17:46,678
Like the cool, windy breeze
of compromise.
393
00:17:52,686 --> 00:17:53,685
Hey, Josh...
394
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:55,453
Gabi, I was just about to call you.
395
00:17:55,489 --> 00:17:56,908
Yeah, listen, before you say anything,
396
00:17:56,919 --> 00:17:58,600
I just... I really wanna apologize
397
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:00,325
for all the horrible things
that I said to you.
398
00:18:00,360 --> 00:18:02,627
But it was only because
I felt like my stuff
399
00:18:02,663 --> 00:18:05,263
wasn't good enough for you, which
made me think neither was I,
400
00:18:05,299 --> 00:18:08,233
and it just made me feel insecure.
401
00:18:08,268 --> 00:18:11,336
What? How can you possibly think
you're not good enough for me?
402
00:18:11,371 --> 00:18:14,372
Josh, look around! I mean,
you're rich and handsome,
403
00:18:14,408 --> 00:18:18,476
and you live in this big,
beautiful, clean penthouse!
404
00:18:18,512 --> 00:18:22,480
Gabi, if anyone is insecure
in this relationship, it's me.
405
00:18:22,516 --> 00:18:27,419
I mean, look at you! You're beautiful
and sexy and so far out of my league.
406
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:30,422
You don't have to say things
just to make me feel better.
407
00:18:30,457 --> 00:18:33,592
I'm serious. Yes, I'm
successful, and yes, I'm rich,
408
00:18:33,627 --> 00:18:36,328
and over the years, I found a
very cool look for myself.
409
00:18:37,431 --> 00:18:39,297
But underneath it all,
I'm just that skinny nerd
410
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,333
who asked a cheerleader
to prom and got laughed at.
411
00:18:41,368 --> 00:18:43,535
Aww. I would've gone to prom with you.
412
00:18:43,570 --> 00:18:46,605
Mmm. I bet you would've been a
lot less handsy than my cousin.
413
00:18:49,376 --> 00:18:50,642
I'm sorry for calling you immature.
414
00:18:50,677 --> 00:18:52,410
And I'm sorry for calling you spoiled.
415
00:18:52,446 --> 00:18:55,480
No, actually, you know what?
I am spoiled.
416
00:18:55,515 --> 00:18:56,908
And I'm glad you called me out on it.
417
00:18:56,943 --> 00:18:57,321
Really?
418
00:18:57,332 --> 00:18:58,806
I'm serious. Thank you
for being honest with me.
419
00:18:59,252 --> 00:19:00,585
And I love that you work
for everything you have,
420
00:19:00,621 --> 00:19:02,187
and you stick to your principles,
421
00:19:02,199 --> 00:19:04,499
and even resent
that I just gave you stuff.
422
00:19:04,558 --> 00:19:06,058
Yeah, I actu... I
might've overreacted...
423
00:19:06,069 --> 00:19:07,014
Which is why...
424
00:19:08,662 --> 00:19:10,562
I have them moving everything
I purchased out,
425
00:19:10,597 --> 00:19:12,197
and all your old stuff back in.
426
00:19:12,232 --> 00:19:13,264
They're what now?
427
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:14,366
Gabi, I don't wanna change you.
428
00:19:14,401 --> 00:19:15,433
So they're removing everything.
429
00:19:15,469 --> 00:19:17,235
I like the girl I fell in love with.
430
00:19:17,270 --> 00:19:18,436
- Even the air conditioner?
- Gone!
431
00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,439
And to prove how much you mean to me,
432
00:19:21,475 --> 00:19:23,375
tonight, we're stayin' at your place.
433
00:19:23,410 --> 00:19:26,411
So... they've already
taken everything out?
434
00:19:26,446 --> 00:19:28,346
- As we speak.
- You know what?
435
00:19:29,549 --> 00:19:33,218
We're already here. Let's just stay.
436
00:19:36,311 --> 00:19:39,276
So in summary, even though
Gabi and you are together.
437
00:19:39,671 --> 00:19:41,771
Nothing around here is changing?
438
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:43,106
Nothing's changing.
439
00:19:43,207 --> 00:19:44,473
Ooh, I'll drink to that!
440
00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:46,843
(LAUGHS) Later.
441
00:19:48,193 --> 00:19:49,358
Quick query.
442
00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:51,388
Elliot?
443
00:19:51,423 --> 00:19:56,459
So... when you say
everything stays the same,
444
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,328
does that mean I can still say,
445
00:19:58,363 --> 00:20:00,397
Gabi's outfit looks like
old lady wallpaper?
446
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:04,401
Absolutely.
447
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:06,202
Quick follow-up.
448
00:20:07,506 --> 00:20:09,506
Does this also mean I can say,
449
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:12,442
her vacant mannequin face
haunts my dreams at night?
450
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:16,446
It's all right, Elliot.
You can say whatever you want.
451
00:20:16,481 --> 00:20:18,348
Thank you, Gabi.
452
00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:22,285
(CLEARS THROAT) You have the IQ of a
hammer, except hammers are useful.
453
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,454
You're the water that comes out
of the mustard bottle first.
454
00:20:24,489 --> 00:20:26,489
You have the hands
of a seasoned rope-maker.
455
00:20:26,525 --> 00:20:28,658
You're a blonde hurricane
of cheap perfume and stupid.
456
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:32,495
Okay! That's enough for today.
457
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,330
You're right.
458
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:36,263
I need to pace myself!
459
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:40,266
So... everyone happy?
460
00:20:40,293 --> 00:20:41,306
- Yep.
- Yep.
461
00:20:41,580 --> 00:20:42,186
Yep.
462
00:20:43,318 --> 00:20:46,244
(CRYING) No...!
463
00:20:48,495 --> 00:20:51,554
How come everything I love goes away?
464
00:20:51,604 --> 00:20:56,154
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