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1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:03,960
2
00:00:04,227 --> 00:00:05,211
(sighs)
3
00:00:05,359 --> 00:00:06,796
Your cocktail, miss?
4
00:00:06,859 --> 00:00:08,861
Mahalo, my homegirl.
5
00:00:09,563 --> 00:00:10,729
Well, all right.
6
00:00:11,398 --> 00:00:14,633
Now all we need is an island breeze...
7
00:00:14,669 --> 00:00:17,911
- Mm.
- ... some island music...
8
00:00:17,997 --> 00:00:21,107
(Hawaiian instrumental music playing)
9
00:00:21,357 --> 00:00:22,990
... and we are officially on...
10
00:00:23,026 --> 00:00:24,826
Both: Staycation!
11
00:00:25,563 --> 00:00:27,104
You know, if you close your eyes,
12
00:00:27,151 --> 00:00:29,010
you can almost hear the waves
13
00:00:29,073 --> 00:00:33,341
- lapping against the...
- (backup alarm beeping loudly)
14
00:00:33,404 --> 00:00:34,240
Hey!
15
00:00:34,264 --> 00:00:36,064
Shut the hell up! We're in Maui!
16
00:00:37,022 --> 00:00:38,555
I'll get us earplugs.
17
00:00:38,591 --> 00:00:40,090
At least we can still
lay out in the sun.
18
00:00:40,125 --> 00:00:42,393
(thunder rumbling)
19
00:00:42,428 --> 00:00:44,828
Ugh, garbage trucks and rain!
20
00:00:44,863 --> 00:00:46,664
Now we have to drink
inside on the couch!
21
00:00:46,699 --> 00:00:48,799
That's not a vacation,
we do that everyday.
22
00:00:49,548 --> 00:00:52,015
Why can't we afford to go
on a real fancy vacation?
23
00:00:52,245 --> 00:00:53,651
No one our age can.
24
00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,088
We're only 24. Who's
got that kind of money?
25
00:00:56,741 --> 00:00:57,866
(cell phones chime)
26
00:00:57,955 --> 00:00:59,295
Ugh, Lizette.
27
00:00:59,350 --> 00:01:00,449
Lizette?
28
00:01:00,765 --> 00:01:02,231
Both: Lizette.
29
00:01:03,591 --> 00:01:05,491
Can you believe this Facebook post?
30
00:01:05,518 --> 00:01:07,216
"So excited to marry my best friend
31
00:01:07,242 --> 00:01:09,909
at our destination
wedding in Punta Cana!"
32
00:01:10,242 --> 00:01:11,875
I want to go to Punta Cana!
33
00:01:12,757 --> 00:01:14,723
Where's Punta Cana?
34
00:01:14,806 --> 00:01:16,406
Dominican Republic.
35
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:18,178
She's flying down in a private jet
36
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:20,207
and staying at a beachfront villa!
37
00:01:20,734 --> 00:01:22,972
- She makes me sick.
- She's the worst.
38
00:01:24,105 --> 00:01:25,948
We should try to get
in touch with her again.
39
00:01:26,343 --> 00:01:27,050
Why?
40
00:01:27,119 --> 00:01:29,452
Uh, hello, we get friendly with her,
41
00:01:29,543 --> 00:01:31,343
she invites us to the wedding,
42
00:01:31,385 --> 00:01:33,352
and then we go to Punta Cana for free!
43
00:01:33,521 --> 00:01:35,492
How? We'd still have to
pay our own way. It says:
44
00:01:35,565 --> 00:01:38,424
"The private jet and villa are
only for the wedding party."
45
00:01:38,546 --> 00:01:39,744
Aw, man.
46
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:43,363
That's it. The wedding party.
47
00:01:44,210 --> 00:01:45,283
Both: Bridesmaids!
48
00:01:45,352 --> 00:01:47,299
(theme music playing)
49
00:01:47,436 --> 00:01:51,209
Synced and corrected by Dragoniod for
- www.addic7ed.com -
50
00:01:51,368 --> 00:01:53,400
She in the spotlight
51
00:01:53,623 --> 00:01:55,590
And she turn my head
52
00:01:55,625 --> 00:01:57,292
She run a red light
53
00:01:57,328 --> 00:01:59,031
'Cause she bad like that
54
00:01:59,088 --> 00:02:01,588
I like that ooh baby, ooh baby
55
00:02:01,866 --> 00:02:02,898
Baby
56
00:02:02,933 --> 00:02:06,134
I like that ooh baby, ooh baby
57
00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:09,571
Can you believe how great
Lizette's life turned out?
58
00:02:09,606 --> 00:02:11,038
Who knew she'd make so much money
59
00:02:11,074 --> 00:02:12,707
off of Da Bomb Lip Balm?
60
00:02:12,743 --> 00:02:14,141
Ugh, yeah...
61
00:02:14,177 --> 00:02:15,744
People are sheep.
62
00:02:16,847 --> 00:02:17,879
(phone chimes)
63
00:02:17,914 --> 00:02:19,814
Well... she's here.
64
00:02:19,850 --> 00:02:20,849
(gasping)
65
00:02:20,884 --> 00:02:22,617
- Lizette!
- Lizette!
66
00:02:22,652 --> 00:02:23,985
Gabi and Sofia: Lizette!
67
00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,653
Gabi! Sofia!
68
00:02:25,689 --> 00:02:27,521
We have so much to catch up on.
69
00:02:27,556 --> 00:02:29,590
Wait. Was I a millionaire
70
00:02:29,625 --> 00:02:30,824
the last time we saw each other?
71
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:31,644
Yep.
72
00:02:31,683 --> 00:02:33,160
Well, now I'm a multi one.
73
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:34,195
(laughing)
74
00:02:34,230 --> 00:02:37,098
God, Lizette. Your life
turned out so amazing.
75
00:02:37,133 --> 00:02:39,500
Yeah, but there is a downside.
76
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,813
I mean, my hand is cramping up
77
00:02:41,914 --> 00:02:43,570
lugging this thing around!
78
00:02:43,606 --> 00:02:45,406
- Oh!
- Ah!
79
00:02:45,441 --> 00:02:46,440
(laughs)
80
00:02:46,475 --> 00:02:47,808
One dirty martini.
81
00:02:47,843 --> 00:02:49,594
I always wondered what made it dirty.
82
00:02:49,617 --> 00:02:50,977
Mm. This.
83
00:02:51,013 --> 00:02:52,646
(sputtering)
84
00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:55,420
(growls)
85
00:02:55,473 --> 00:02:57,739
So... I'm guessing,
86
00:02:57,820 --> 00:02:59,752
you have more of an... open engagement?
87
00:02:59,788 --> 00:03:02,488
Oh, that's my fianc?... Carlo.
88
00:03:02,524 --> 00:03:03,790
That's why I wanted to meet here.
89
00:03:03,825 --> 00:03:05,017
He's Filipino.
90
00:03:05,127 --> 00:03:06,826
I met him when he catered
one of my openings.
91
00:03:06,928 --> 00:03:09,461
And now, he caters all my openings.
92
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:11,664
Oh... Oh!
93
00:03:12,700 --> 00:03:14,567
I know it's crazy, right?
94
00:03:14,602 --> 00:03:15,635
So...
95
00:03:15,670 --> 00:03:17,770
you two gay marry each other yet?
96
00:03:17,806 --> 00:03:20,406
'Cause that was the
rumor in high school.
97
00:03:21,282 --> 00:03:22,281
Uh...
98
00:03:22,544 --> 00:03:23,676
Lizette,
99
00:03:23,711 --> 00:03:25,163
if we married each other,
100
00:03:25,197 --> 00:03:28,898
don't you think we would
ask you to be our bridesmaid?
101
00:03:28,987 --> 00:03:29,986
Nope.
102
00:03:30,217 --> 00:03:31,216
Damn it.
103
00:03:31,252 --> 00:03:32,763
You know what's crazy, Lizette?
104
00:03:32,818 --> 00:03:35,485
That you didn't ask us
to be your bridesmaids.
105
00:03:35,622 --> 00:03:37,589
Why the hell would I do that?
106
00:03:37,624 --> 00:03:38,909
Well, because all of our lives,
107
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:39,991
you've shoved every great thing
108
00:03:40,024 --> 00:03:41,858
that ever happened to you in our faces.
109
00:03:41,949 --> 00:03:44,296
That's not true. Oh, did I tell you,
110
00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:46,299
I just bought a WNBA team?
111
00:03:46,327 --> 00:03:47,992
Oh, mm-hmm, now I see it.
112
00:03:49,636 --> 00:03:50,924
So, I mean, how great would it be
113
00:03:50,989 --> 00:03:53,256
to be standing in your
gazillion-dollar wedding dress,
114
00:03:53,284 --> 00:03:55,084
under your gazillion-dollar gazebo,
115
00:03:55,126 --> 00:03:57,360
watching us die of jealousy
because you have everything
116
00:03:57,388 --> 00:03:59,088
and we have gazilch?
117
00:03:59,145 --> 00:04:00,278
Hmm...
118
00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:01,817
That does sound fun.
119
00:04:01,859 --> 00:04:03,492
- You're in!
- (screams)
120
00:04:03,558 --> 00:04:06,158
Ooh, but there is just one problem.
121
00:04:06,193 --> 00:04:08,039
There's only one seat left on the jet.
122
00:04:08,096 --> 00:04:10,062
Who will I chose?
123
00:04:12,522 --> 00:04:13,521
(sighs)
124
00:04:13,555 --> 00:04:14,754
Sofia, you go.
125
00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:16,062
Oh, no, no, no, you go.
126
00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,858
- I can't go without you.
- Well, I can't go without you.
127
00:04:17,901 --> 00:04:20,835
And I can't believe you
think you're going to decide.
128
00:04:20,862 --> 00:04:22,361
It's my wedding.
129
00:04:22,388 --> 00:04:25,089
I'm gonna decide whose
face I shove it in.
130
00:04:25,117 --> 00:04:26,249
Speaking of shoving...
131
00:04:26,285 --> 00:04:27,129
Carlo!
132
00:04:27,173 --> 00:04:30,241
A round of dirty martinis
for my lesbian friends.
133
00:04:30,325 --> 00:04:32,935
(giggles) Cheers, ladies!
134
00:04:33,073 --> 00:04:36,211
135
00:04:36,813 --> 00:04:37,891
Yolanda, guess what?
136
00:04:37,987 --> 00:04:40,922
My college invited me to give a
guest lecture on my profession.
137
00:04:41,184 --> 00:04:43,451
What's that? Josh's bitch?
138
00:04:46,214 --> 00:04:47,648
His publicist!
139
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,595
The person who maintains his image,
140
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:51,289
writes his press releases,
141
00:04:51,348 --> 00:04:53,380
and manages any crisis that pops up.
142
00:04:53,455 --> 00:04:55,355
Elliot, I have a crisis!
143
00:04:55,475 --> 00:04:57,042
And I shall manage it.
144
00:04:57,108 --> 00:04:58,841
I got some hot sauce
on my favorite hoodie.
145
00:04:58,877 --> 00:05:00,777
Need you to take it to
the dry cleaner, pronto.
146
00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:05,237
Damn... you are critical to the team.
147
00:05:06,633 --> 00:05:07,865
That's not all I do for him!
148
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:10,340
Oh, I also need you to pick
me up a dozen donut holes.
149
00:05:10,399 --> 00:05:13,667
And I mean a dozen, not ten
with powdered sugar on your tie.
150
00:05:13,741 --> 00:05:15,785
Oh, my God!
151
00:05:15,879 --> 00:05:17,712
I am Josh's bitch.
152
00:05:19,172 --> 00:05:20,638
How did this happen?
153
00:05:20,893 --> 00:05:23,894
It's because you let
him walk all over you.
154
00:05:23,929 --> 00:05:27,397
I laid the law down
with Josh on day one.
155
00:05:27,448 --> 00:05:29,124
I can't lay down the law.
156
00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:31,411
I'm not confident and manly like you.
157
00:05:33,159 --> 00:05:34,726
Help me, Yolanda!
158
00:05:34,769 --> 00:05:36,607
Well, if you want
Josh to appreciate you,
159
00:05:36,683 --> 00:05:39,383
you gotta show him you
have other job prospects.
160
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:40,457
Yes!
161
00:05:40,914 --> 00:05:42,336
Where would I find those?
162
00:05:42,408 --> 00:05:44,992
Just give me your resum? and
I'll put it online for you.
163
00:05:45,081 --> 00:05:46,347
Oh, yeah!
164
00:05:46,395 --> 00:05:48,428
Then the offers will start rolling in,
165
00:05:48,518 --> 00:05:51,336
and Josh will respect me,
and he'll see that I'm smart,
166
00:05:51,391 --> 00:05:53,991
ambitious and I'm movin' on up.
167
00:05:54,253 --> 00:05:55,886
Thanks, Weezy.
168
00:05:58,686 --> 00:06:00,684
169
00:06:01,950 --> 00:06:05,118
I gotta say, you girls are
sure being civil to one another
170
00:06:05,201 --> 00:06:07,932
considering only one of
you can be my bridesmaid.
171
00:06:07,995 --> 00:06:10,998
Well, Gabi and I talked, and
we just want you to be happy.
172
00:06:11,073 --> 00:06:13,006
And like you said, the bride decides.
173
00:06:13,236 --> 00:06:14,769
Speaking of wedding vows!
174
00:06:16,407 --> 00:06:18,877
Lizette, when I found out
you were getting married,
175
00:06:18,922 --> 00:06:22,007
I was just so caught up
in my joy for your joy
176
00:06:22,063 --> 00:06:25,297
that these wedding
vows just spilled out!
177
00:06:26,239 --> 00:06:27,338
What?
178
00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:29,987
I have been trying to write
my vows for three weeks,
179
00:06:30,038 --> 00:06:31,938
but nothing rhymes with Filipino!
180
00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,392
"Carlo, from the moment
we met, you surprised me,"
181
00:06:36,453 --> 00:06:39,353
captivated me, and
challenged me like no other.
182
00:06:39,412 --> 00:06:40,870
I'm black, you're Filipino,
183
00:06:40,909 --> 00:06:43,075
"together we make the
perfect cappuccino."
184
00:06:44,483 --> 00:06:46,617
How did I miss cappuccino?
185
00:06:47,629 --> 00:06:50,573
Sofia, can I talk to you
in the kitchen for a minute?
186
00:06:50,608 --> 00:06:52,174
There's ten more stanzas.
187
00:06:53,525 --> 00:06:55,558
- What's up?
- What are you doing?
188
00:06:55,593 --> 00:06:58,127
Uh, well, at the bar, you said
that I should be the one to go,
189
00:06:58,162 --> 00:07:00,029
so I'm just trying to make
sure that I'm the one who goes.
190
00:07:00,064 --> 00:07:02,231
Well, at the bar, you said I should go.
191
00:07:02,266 --> 00:07:03,865
I was being nice.
192
00:07:04,661 --> 00:07:07,094
This is the most manipulative
thing I have ever seen.
193
00:07:08,096 --> 00:07:10,181
Who wants wedding cake?
194
00:07:10,243 --> 00:07:11,342
- What?
- Yep.
195
00:07:11,386 --> 00:07:14,387
Six different kinds of
cake tasting, if you will.
196
00:07:14,437 --> 00:07:16,870
Ooh! Shut up!
197
00:07:17,282 --> 00:07:18,902
Is that mousseline buttercream?
198
00:07:18,952 --> 00:07:20,451
You butter believe it!
199
00:07:20,611 --> 00:07:22,278
Mmm!
200
00:07:22,391 --> 00:07:25,425
This cake is so much more
delicious than the cake I ordered.
201
00:07:25,462 --> 00:07:27,696
Gabi, will you be my...?
202
00:07:28,285 --> 00:07:30,385
- (phone chiming)
- Mm!
203
00:07:31,101 --> 00:07:32,234
Hello?
204
00:07:32,511 --> 00:07:33,961
Well, I think it's
clear we have a winner.
205
00:07:34,063 --> 00:07:35,108
Do we Gabi? Do we?
206
00:07:35,202 --> 00:07:37,770
Mm-hmm. Once you eat me,
you just can't beat me.
207
00:07:39,831 --> 00:07:41,887
It's the hotel! They keep
saying, "No wedding! No wedding,"
208
00:07:41,942 --> 00:07:43,108
followed by a bunch of Spanish!
209
00:07:43,136 --> 00:07:44,503
I only speak Mandarin!
210
00:07:44,569 --> 00:07:48,237
Aw. Well, I speak Spanish.
211
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:49,489
Hello?
212
00:07:49,577 --> 00:07:51,410
Okay, cual es el problema?
213
00:07:51,603 --> 00:07:54,867
Se?or, Que necesitas
para Que suceda Esta boda?
214
00:07:54,972 --> 00:07:58,640
Okay, entonces van a tener
Que resolver con Lil' So-so!
215
00:07:58,957 --> 00:08:00,623
Entiendes?
216
00:08:00,697 --> 00:08:02,209
Muchas gracias.
217
00:08:02,268 --> 00:08:04,434
Okay, so, the wedding is back on.
218
00:08:04,497 --> 00:08:06,834
And they're throwing in
a free case of champagne!
219
00:08:06,894 --> 00:08:08,928
Oh! You saved my wedding!
220
00:08:09,018 --> 00:08:11,852
But, but, but, buttercream.
221
00:08:13,088 --> 00:08:15,606
Sofia... will you be my bridesmaid?
222
00:08:15,681 --> 00:08:17,146
- Gabi: No!
- Sofia: Yes!
223
00:08:18,470 --> 00:08:20,570
Hasta la vista, loser.
224
00:08:20,902 --> 00:08:23,484
225
00:08:29,549 --> 00:08:31,127
Here's your coffee,
226
00:08:31,210 --> 00:08:32,443
and your eggs,
227
00:08:32,564 --> 00:08:33,596
and your toast!
228
00:08:33,819 --> 00:08:35,286
Butter or jelly?
229
00:08:36,104 --> 00:08:37,704
I'm just going to take this knife away.
230
00:08:38,992 --> 00:08:41,092
(sighs)
231
00:08:41,205 --> 00:08:43,272
What's going on? I thought this
was your staycation with Sofia.
232
00:08:43,322 --> 00:08:45,895
Yeah, it was, until she beat
me out to be a bridesmaid,
233
00:08:45,941 --> 00:08:48,075
and now she gets to go to
Punta Cana and I'm stuck here.
234
00:08:49,565 --> 00:08:50,564
Wait a minute.
235
00:08:51,075 --> 00:08:54,204
Sofia won... and you lost?
236
00:08:55,735 --> 00:08:56,930
That's a first.
237
00:08:56,950 --> 00:09:00,038
Yeah, only because somehow
she speaks Punta Can-ese.
238
00:09:00,716 --> 00:09:02,763
Or I just give you the
money to go to Punta Cana.
239
00:09:02,856 --> 00:09:04,356
(gasps) Really?
240
00:09:04,549 --> 00:09:05,606
No, no, no, no.
241
00:09:05,674 --> 00:09:07,041
We're having punch-card sex.
242
00:09:07,163 --> 00:09:08,595
I don't want to be a kept woman.
243
00:09:08,755 --> 00:09:11,023
Okay, fine, then how about I just
give you some frequent flier miles?
244
00:09:11,082 --> 00:09:13,382
Oh, my God.
245
00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:15,500
You would give me your
frequent flier miles
246
00:09:15,546 --> 00:09:16,996
so I could fly to
Punta Cana first class?
247
00:09:17,048 --> 00:09:18,515
- I never said first class.
- Could you?
248
00:09:24,457 --> 00:09:26,958
Elliot, we got a bite on your resum?.
249
00:09:27,125 --> 00:09:28,424
You're kidding me!
250
00:09:29,267 --> 00:09:30,934
I knew I was good.
251
00:09:31,219 --> 00:09:33,112
Guess who's looking for a new publicist?
252
00:09:33,292 --> 00:09:34,625
Dante Bergeson.
253
00:09:34,848 --> 00:09:37,147
The multi-billionaire who
single-handedly changed
254
00:09:37,203 --> 00:09:38,703
the way the world drinks vodka?
255
00:09:39,635 --> 00:09:41,367
I still just drink it
straight from the bottle.
256
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,550
But that's your guy.
257
00:09:43,597 --> 00:09:45,229
And he wants to have
lunch with you today.
258
00:09:45,881 --> 00:09:46,791
Are you kidding me?
259
00:09:46,904 --> 00:09:48,336
- I could hug you.
- Don't.
260
00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:51,855
Just go dangle Dante in front of Josh.
261
00:09:51,913 --> 00:09:53,179
Whoa!
262
00:09:53,317 --> 00:09:54,649
Freshly cleaned hoodie!
263
00:09:54,809 --> 00:09:55,789
Hey!
264
00:09:55,851 --> 00:09:58,576
I'm going to need you to go online
and do traffic school for me.
265
00:09:58,649 --> 00:09:59,648
Thanks.
266
00:09:59,901 --> 00:10:03,346
Oh! I would, but unfortunately for you,
267
00:10:03,426 --> 00:10:05,860
I have a lunch meeting this
afternoon with Dante Bergeson.
268
00:10:05,942 --> 00:10:07,942
The billionaire who
started a space program
269
00:10:07,993 --> 00:10:10,025
so that Bruno Mars can perform on Mars.
270
00:10:11,442 --> 00:10:12,708
Why are you meeting with him?
271
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:14,446
Well, he needs a new publicist
272
00:10:14,521 --> 00:10:17,222
and heard I'm feeling
a tad... unchallenged.
273
00:10:17,265 --> 00:10:18,527
Unchallenged?
274
00:10:18,715 --> 00:10:20,848
So camping out overnight in a rainstorm,
275
00:10:20,915 --> 00:10:22,548
so I can get my new phone was easy?
276
00:10:23,894 --> 00:10:24,754
That's it, Josh.
277
00:10:24,808 --> 00:10:26,671
I'm not an errand boy, I'm a publicist,
278
00:10:26,722 --> 00:10:28,790
and if you can't recognize
it, maybe Dante can!
279
00:10:28,991 --> 00:10:31,040
- Whoa, Elliot...
- Yeah. Whoa, Elliot!
280
00:10:31,173 --> 00:10:32,597
Don't whoa me, Josh.
281
00:10:32,714 --> 00:10:35,148
I am sick of kissing
that perfect ass of yours.
282
00:10:36,438 --> 00:10:38,939
Good luck replacing this, Josh.
283
00:10:40,837 --> 00:10:42,425
- (door slams)
- What the hell was that?
284
00:10:42,487 --> 00:10:43,592
I don't know.
285
00:10:43,651 --> 00:10:46,340
Uh, but I can't do that
traffic school thing for you.
286
00:10:47,187 --> 00:10:49,220
My license is a little iffy.
287
00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,455
How great was that storm-out?
288
00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:57,887
And they say you don't learn
anything from the Real Housewives.
289
00:10:57,954 --> 00:10:59,465
Elliot, I have something tell you.
290
00:10:59,535 --> 00:11:00,902
Of course you do.
291
00:11:01,030 --> 00:11:03,064
Where is my lunch meeting with Dante?
292
00:11:03,350 --> 00:11:04,548
On the corner of...
293
00:11:04,636 --> 00:11:06,869
"I made it up," and "You went too far."
294
00:11:08,598 --> 00:11:09,597
What?
295
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,659
There is no lunch.
296
00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:14,089
You know, I was just trying
to give a little confidence,
297
00:11:14,154 --> 00:11:15,386
light a fire under you.
298
00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:17,712
I didn't know you was gonna
burn down the whole damn bridge!
299
00:11:18,138 --> 00:11:20,538
(gasping) Oh, my God. I can't breathe.
300
00:11:20,605 --> 00:11:22,101
- How could you do this to me?
- (elevator dings)
301
00:11:22,179 --> 00:11:23,979
You ruined my life!
302
00:11:24,014 --> 00:11:26,068
Whe... Where are you going?
303
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:29,819
To figure out how to
be Josh's bitch again!
304
00:11:34,467 --> 00:11:36,000
Mm-mm!
305
00:11:36,083 --> 00:11:37,716
How hot is my man?
306
00:11:37,799 --> 00:11:39,364
Well, I can only see his butt.
307
00:11:39,423 --> 00:11:42,203
Ain't it juicy? You can say yes.
308
00:11:42,273 --> 00:11:43,874
- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.
309
00:11:43,933 --> 00:11:46,566
Oh, hey!
310
00:11:46,734 --> 00:11:50,403
Is this the table for all
the girls going to Punta Cana?
311
00:11:51,592 --> 00:11:53,473
Gabi, what are you doing here?
312
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,207
Oh, I just came over to say,
313
00:11:55,250 --> 00:11:57,650
have a good flight,
have a good time, and...
314
00:11:58,386 --> 00:11:59,619
I'll see you there.
315
00:11:59,664 --> 00:12:03,432
You're not gonna see us there
because I you lost and I won.
316
00:12:03,686 --> 00:12:05,792
Oh. Well, let's just say
317
00:12:05,913 --> 00:12:10,649
a certain someone gave a 100,000
frequent flier miles to a certain me.
318
00:12:11,051 --> 00:12:13,991
Oh, my God. You went
crying to Josh for a ticket?
319
00:12:14,111 --> 00:12:15,110
No.
320
00:12:15,427 --> 00:12:17,461
He gave me the ticket
before I started crying.
321
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:19,345
Okay, where are you going to stay?
322
00:12:19,431 --> 00:12:20,430
Well, not to worry.
323
00:12:20,481 --> 00:12:22,714
Called the resort,
handled the whole thing.
324
00:12:22,774 --> 00:12:24,429
Turns out, they do have a room.
325
00:12:24,476 --> 00:12:26,476
Sure, it's the size of a closet,
326
00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:27,842
sure, I may have to wear a name tag,
327
00:12:27,894 --> 00:12:29,182
and do a little janitorial work,
328
00:12:29,236 --> 00:12:31,037
but... I'm in!
329
00:12:31,181 --> 00:12:33,136
So I will see you bitches at the pool.
330
00:12:33,284 --> 00:12:34,815
(slurping)
331
00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:37,069
I cannot believe that
you are such a sore loser
332
00:12:37,115 --> 00:12:40,860
that you had to weasel your way
into my vacation, that I won!
333
00:12:40,932 --> 00:12:43,349
Why are you so upset? I thought
you'd be thrilled I was joining you.
334
00:12:43,397 --> 00:12:45,064
- Do I look thrilled?
- Hey!
335
00:12:45,123 --> 00:12:47,694
If I wanted to listen to two
little bitches fight over me,
336
00:12:47,749 --> 00:12:49,381
I'd still be dating the Jonas Brothers.
337
00:12:50,514 --> 00:12:53,582
Now, we are leaving in two hours.
338
00:12:53,601 --> 00:12:55,501
I'm gonna go wax my Punta Cana
339
00:12:55,545 --> 00:12:58,612
and swing by in the the
limo to pick you girls up.
340
00:12:58,648 --> 00:13:01,316
Now, Stop! 'Causin'! Drama!
341
00:13:05,341 --> 00:13:06,873
I cannot believe you did this.
342
00:13:06,992 --> 00:13:08,674
I don't understand why you're not happy.
343
00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:10,172
I mean, you get to go on vacation,
344
00:13:10,269 --> 00:13:11,535
I get to go on vacation.
345
00:13:11,571 --> 00:13:13,604
We are both going to Punta Cana.
346
00:13:14,669 --> 00:13:15,668
Oh...
347
00:13:19,996 --> 00:13:22,763
Not if Carlo keeps making
out with that Punta Cana.
348
00:13:24,157 --> 00:13:27,372
349
00:13:28,076 --> 00:13:28,907
(door slams)
350
00:13:28,969 --> 00:13:30,268
Elliot, where have you been?
351
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:32,470
I was begging for a job.
352
00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:34,939
But Alan wasn't in the
mood, so I went for a walk.
353
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,747
Look, Elliot, I was just trying to help.
354
00:13:37,892 --> 00:13:40,960
I was so mad at you,
Yolanda, I didn't realize
355
00:13:40,980 --> 00:13:42,294
that I could actually use
356
00:13:42,337 --> 00:13:44,371
this whole situation to my favor.
357
00:13:44,616 --> 00:13:47,378
All I have to do is make
Josh think Dante wants me,
358
00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:50,034
then he'll cave and offer
me everything I deserve.
359
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:52,766
- Josh: Elliot!
- The game is afoot!
360
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,299
Okay, thanks again so
much for doing this, Dante.
361
00:13:56,363 --> 00:13:58,194
When he comes in here, just
turn your chair away from us
362
00:13:58,218 --> 00:13:59,033
and try not to laugh.
363
00:13:59,084 --> 00:14:00,450
Righty-oh.
364
00:14:02,714 --> 00:14:03,713
Elliot...
365
00:14:07,225 --> 00:14:09,044
Now, give it to me straight.
Are you still my publicist
366
00:14:09,113 --> 00:14:11,047
or did Dante steal you away from me?
367
00:14:11,075 --> 00:14:12,974
Well, Josh, I don't want to lie.
368
00:14:14,094 --> 00:14:15,713
He did wine and dine me pretty hard.
369
00:14:15,795 --> 00:14:18,062
We're talking caviar, Dom P?rignon,
370
00:14:18,129 --> 00:14:19,899
shrimp the size of a baby's arm.
371
00:14:19,977 --> 00:14:22,577
Big ticket stuff,
Josh. Big ticket stuff.
372
00:14:24,089 --> 00:14:25,370
Wow. It sounds like he really wants you.
373
00:14:25,414 --> 00:14:26,676
In more ways than one.
374
00:14:26,707 --> 00:14:29,083
After his third drink,
he got kinda handsy.
375
00:14:29,091 --> 00:14:30,262
Oh!
376
00:14:30,418 --> 00:14:32,070
I would have been
flattered if he was hot.
377
00:14:32,519 --> 00:14:34,652
But he was nasty!
378
00:14:35,602 --> 00:14:38,514
The point is, even though
he thinks I'm amazing,
379
00:14:38,534 --> 00:14:39,727
offered me more money,
380
00:14:39,777 --> 00:14:41,810
and said I'm one of the
best publicists in town,
381
00:14:41,861 --> 00:14:45,197
nay, the world... I turned him down.
382
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:46,568
Dante: Did you?
383
00:14:46,634 --> 00:14:47,833
What was that?
384
00:14:49,199 --> 00:14:51,499
It kind of sounds a little
like the guy you turned down.
385
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:54,035
My good friend... Dante Bergeson.
386
00:14:54,066 --> 00:14:55,065
Dante Bergeson!
387
00:14:55,962 --> 00:14:57,428
Good to see you again, sir.
388
00:14:57,501 --> 00:15:02,037
I've never met you, nor
molested you in my life.
389
00:15:02,337 --> 00:15:03,776
You lied to me.
390
00:15:03,837 --> 00:15:07,842
I'm so sorry, Josh. Please
don't fire me! Please!
391
00:15:08,236 --> 00:15:12,405
I've always said, when one man is
crying on the floor, it's time to go.
392
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,319
Cheerio, Josh.
393
00:15:18,722 --> 00:15:20,622
What's going on?
394
00:15:22,185 --> 00:15:25,220
I just wanted you to
respect me as a publicist.
395
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:28,944
I do your dry-cleaning,
run your errands,
396
00:15:29,066 --> 00:15:30,402
comb your hair while you sleep...
397
00:15:30,433 --> 00:15:32,166
I never asked for that last one.
398
00:15:32,621 --> 00:15:34,987
All I'm looking for is a little respect.
399
00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:37,186
Do you even think I'm a good publicist?
400
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:38,287
Why do you think I called your college
401
00:15:38,303 --> 00:15:40,397
and told them you should
give that speech?
402
00:15:40,505 --> 00:15:43,231
- You did that?
- Hell, yeah I did.
403
00:15:43,371 --> 00:15:44,065
And look,
404
00:15:44,112 --> 00:15:47,336
from now on, I will hire someone
else to do my personal tasks.
405
00:15:47,426 --> 00:15:48,859
Thank you.
406
00:15:48,903 --> 00:15:50,670
But there's still a few I can do.
407
00:15:50,759 --> 00:15:52,091
Whatever you're comfortable with.
408
00:15:52,190 --> 00:15:52,991
Great!
409
00:15:53,042 --> 00:15:55,042
Now why don't you go take
a nap and I'll get the comb?
410
00:15:56,504 --> 00:15:59,777
411
00:16:00,281 --> 00:16:01,547
Man, how are we gonna tell Lizette
412
00:16:01,582 --> 00:16:03,649
we saw her fianc? making
out with another woman?
413
00:16:03,685 --> 00:16:05,884
Very gently, and after the wedding.
414
00:16:07,226 --> 00:16:09,030
(scoffs) Wait a minute.
Are you kidding me?
415
00:16:09,125 --> 00:16:11,158
You want to go on this vacation so bad
416
00:16:11,248 --> 00:16:12,848
that you totally feel justified
417
00:16:12,883 --> 00:16:14,816
ruining the rest of Lizette's life?
418
00:16:14,899 --> 00:16:16,398
Yes, because I won.
419
00:16:17,602 --> 00:16:20,559
Oh come on! This is not
you. Don't be so selfish!
420
00:16:20,622 --> 00:16:23,289
I mean if I was engaged and
I was going to get married,
421
00:16:23,371 --> 00:16:25,371
and you saw my fianc?
making out with another woman,
422
00:16:25,641 --> 00:16:27,140
wouldn't you tell me?
423
00:16:27,190 --> 00:16:28,657
Is it a destination wedding?
424
00:16:29,076 --> 00:16:30,243
(knocks on the door)
425
00:16:30,317 --> 00:16:32,444
Okay, that's her. We have to tell her.
426
00:16:32,526 --> 00:16:33,925
- Ugh, Gabi...
- Do the right thing.
427
00:16:34,093 --> 00:16:35,092
Fine!
428
00:16:37,345 --> 00:16:39,612
The limo awaits, girls!
429
00:16:40,140 --> 00:16:41,673
- Lizette...
- Hmm?
430
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,801
Let's not keep it a-waitin'.
431
00:16:44,596 --> 00:16:46,029
- Sofia!
- See ya!
432
00:16:47,459 --> 00:16:48,592
Lizette!
433
00:16:48,698 --> 00:16:50,397
Your fianc? is cheating on you!
434
00:16:52,191 --> 00:16:53,190
What?
435
00:16:54,461 --> 00:16:56,761
I'm really sorry, but we saw...
436
00:16:56,835 --> 00:17:00,876
Carlo making out with some
blonde at the bar after you left.
437
00:17:00,984 --> 00:17:03,118
No, that's bull. He would
never... He loves me.
438
00:17:03,528 --> 00:17:06,734
(gasps) Oh! This is devastating.
439
00:17:06,811 --> 00:17:08,711
I mean, what kind of
marriage is this gonna be
440
00:17:08,762 --> 00:17:10,227
if we're both having affairs?
441
00:17:12,513 --> 00:17:15,313
If you'll excuse me, I
have a visa to revoke.
442
00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:19,578
Oh, man.
443
00:17:19,761 --> 00:17:22,495
I hated doing that, but,
you know, I had to do it.
444
00:17:22,686 --> 00:17:24,064
Did we, Gabi?
445
00:17:24,121 --> 00:17:25,766
I can't believe you ruined our vacation.
446
00:17:25,854 --> 00:17:27,320
We were this close...
447
00:17:28,588 --> 00:17:30,319
Oh... I get it.
448
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,419
(laughs)
449
00:17:31,462 --> 00:17:33,515
So, you didn't care
if I didn't get to go
450
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:35,886
because you get to go no matter what.
451
00:17:36,046 --> 00:17:37,179
- What?
- That's right.
452
00:17:37,237 --> 00:17:38,908
You didn't do it because it
was the right thing to do.
453
00:17:38,958 --> 00:17:41,558
You did it was because you cannot
stand the fact that I beat you.
454
00:17:41,648 --> 00:17:43,977
Sofia, what's going on? Why
are you acting like this?
455
00:17:44,013 --> 00:17:45,012
This isn't you.
456
00:17:46,614 --> 00:17:47,613
(sighs)
457
00:17:47,648 --> 00:17:49,081
Kendrick got engaged.
458
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:51,101
What?
459
00:17:51,418 --> 00:17:53,184
Why didn't you tell me?
460
00:17:54,242 --> 00:17:56,475
He proposed to his girlfriend
in the middle of the office,
461
00:17:56,502 --> 00:17:58,488
and they all know that
I have a crush on him,
462
00:17:58,539 --> 00:18:01,537
and then they were all looking at
me with these sad puppy dog eyes.
463
00:18:02,142 --> 00:18:03,442
Yeah, like that.
464
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:07,585
Now... Now they just
think I am a big looser.
465
00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:10,466
Oh, no. He's the loser.
466
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:11,853
- Gabi...
- Yeah, I know, that was lame.
467
00:18:12,985 --> 00:18:14,084
(sighs)
468
00:18:14,662 --> 00:18:16,929
And I just thought that
if I could go on vacation
469
00:18:16,964 --> 00:18:19,265
that I wouldn't have
to go into the office.
470
00:18:19,300 --> 00:18:21,567
Oh... I'm really sorry.
471
00:18:21,875 --> 00:18:23,141
You know what?
472
00:18:23,284 --> 00:18:24,716
You are going on this vacation.
473
00:18:25,339 --> 00:18:27,130
- How?
- You're gonna take my ticket.
474
00:18:27,181 --> 00:18:28,580
Oh, no, I can't do that...
475
00:18:28,646 --> 00:18:31,547
Yes, you can, and you
need it way more than me.
476
00:18:31,583 --> 00:18:32,616
Come on.
477
00:18:32,659 --> 00:18:34,426
We can't let that new
bikini go to waste.
478
00:18:35,724 --> 00:18:37,323
I do rock those boy short bottoms.
479
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:41,148
You're the best friend ever.
480
00:18:41,210 --> 00:18:43,049
Oh, no you are.
481
00:18:43,628 --> 00:18:45,360
Now, go.
482
00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:47,042
(crying) Okay, bye!
483
00:18:48,806 --> 00:18:50,272
(cries)
484
00:18:50,893 --> 00:18:52,025
She bought it!
485
00:18:52,575 --> 00:18:53,685
I win!
486
00:18:55,684 --> 00:18:58,103
Ha... Staycation, take two.
487
00:18:58,186 --> 00:19:00,951
This time... (in Jamaican
accent) Jamaica, Mon.
488
00:19:01,146 --> 00:19:04,447
(reggae music playing)
489
00:19:04,572 --> 00:19:08,974
(thunder rumbling)
490
00:19:09,016 --> 00:19:10,283
Seriously?
491
00:19:10,427 --> 00:19:12,293
God! If you can hear me...
492
00:19:12,377 --> 00:19:13,471
Sofia: Gabi!
493
00:19:13,577 --> 00:19:15,177
Oh, my God. God, you
sound just like Sofia.
494
00:19:16,147 --> 00:19:17,279
Gabi?
495
00:19:17,354 --> 00:19:18,352
Hey!
496
00:19:18,450 --> 00:19:19,516
What are you doing here?
497
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,948
You're supposed to be in first class,
498
00:19:20,988 --> 00:19:23,198
enjoying free champagne,
and the extra legroom,
499
00:19:23,239 --> 00:19:24,706
and ABC's new fall lineup.
500
00:19:26,636 --> 00:19:28,669
- I couldn't go.
- Why not?
501
00:19:29,086 --> 00:19:30,936
Well, because I was sitting in my taxi,
502
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,212
on the way to the airport,
503
00:19:32,237 --> 00:19:34,671
when I saw that my
driver's name was Anal...
504
00:19:36,502 --> 00:19:38,669
and I thought it was so funny, but I...
505
00:19:39,056 --> 00:19:40,923
There was no one there to laugh with me.
506
00:19:41,255 --> 00:19:41,838
(laughs)
507
00:19:41,883 --> 00:19:43,049
Anal!
508
00:19:43,116 --> 00:19:45,315
- (laughs) That's hilarious!
- Sofia: Right?
509
00:19:45,398 --> 00:19:46,798
And then I thought, you know,
510
00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,137
I might've beaten you out
for this vacation, but...
511
00:19:49,170 --> 00:19:50,249
what does winning matter,
512
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,547
when I don't get to spend
it with my best friend?
513
00:19:52,609 --> 00:19:54,108
Oh...
514
00:19:54,213 --> 00:19:55,263
But wait a minute.
515
00:19:55,400 --> 00:19:56,607
I thought you said you needed to go
516
00:19:56,646 --> 00:19:59,246
'cause you had to forget
about Kendrick's engagement?
517
00:19:59,454 --> 00:20:00,987
No...
518
00:20:01,553 --> 00:20:04,642
but I hope you will...
because I lied about it.
519
00:20:04,734 --> 00:20:06,978
I made it up, I just... I
wanted you to feel sorry for me
520
00:20:07,037 --> 00:20:08,036
so that I could win.
521
00:20:08,392 --> 00:20:09,799
Are you serious?
522
00:20:09,851 --> 00:20:13,419
You lied and manipulated
me to get what you want?
523
00:20:14,639 --> 00:20:15,906
Respect, girl.
524
00:20:18,213 --> 00:20:20,013
Wait. You're impressed?
525
00:20:20,057 --> 00:20:22,457
Uh, yeah. That means
I'm rubbing off on you.
526
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,044
The student becomes the master.
527
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:26,157
Oh, my God. I'm so relieved!
528
00:20:26,231 --> 00:20:28,097
I thought I was gonna have
to get you drunk first.
529
00:20:28,296 --> 00:20:29,996
I'm already two rum punches in.
530
00:20:31,073 --> 00:20:33,190
Pull up a hammock.
We're in Jamaica, mon!
531
00:20:34,095 --> 00:20:35,995
- (laughs)
- (car horn honking)
532
00:20:36,046 --> 00:20:38,445
Oh, my God. I forgot to pay for Anal.
533
00:20:40,189 --> 00:20:41,956
Are we sure it's not "Anahl"?
534
00:20:42,296 --> 00:20:43,591
Probably, but it's not as funny.
535
00:20:43,641 --> 00:20:44,640
I'm gonna grab my purse.
536
00:20:44,683 --> 00:20:46,517
Anal, I'm coming!
537
00:20:46,563 --> 00:20:48,258
538
00:20:48,308 --> 00:20:52,858
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