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1
00:00:01,221 --> 00:00:03,521
Uck! I hate Valentine's Day.
2
00:00:03,556 --> 00:00:05,724
Why? Oh...
3
00:00:05,759 --> 00:00:06,959
because of your life.
4
00:00:09,759 --> 00:00:12,206
- What are you looking for?
- Flowers from Kendrick's,
5
00:00:12,212 --> 00:00:13,598
chocolates from an ex,
6
00:00:13,604 --> 00:00:16,004
a poem from the homeless guy
who sleeps on the fire escape...
7
00:00:16,009 --> 00:00:17,311
anything, I'm desperate.
8
00:00:17,533 --> 00:00:20,264
Well, they're not from a man,
9
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,456
but guess who did get you chocolates?
10
00:00:22,462 --> 00:00:24,634
- You?
- Yes!
11
00:00:24,640 --> 00:00:26,515
C'mon, cheer up, sunshine!
12
00:00:26,521 --> 00:00:28,041
Valentine's Day can never be that bad,
13
00:00:28,046 --> 00:00:29,814
because we'll always have each other.
14
00:00:29,820 --> 00:00:31,132
And stop smiling, okay?
15
00:00:31,138 --> 00:00:33,258
You're just happy because you
have a man in your life.
16
00:00:33,263 --> 00:00:35,141
I do not have a man in my life,
17
00:00:35,147 --> 00:00:37,318
I have a Josh, and we have a strictly
18
00:00:37,324 --> 00:00:38,755
punch-card relationship.
19
00:00:39,128 --> 00:00:41,840
Hmm... so you guys aren't going
to do anything romantic tonight?
20
00:00:41,846 --> 00:00:43,806
That's right! People get
crazy on Valentine's Day,
21
00:00:43,812 --> 00:00:46,332
and because we're not a couple,
we're not going to celebrate it.
22
00:00:46,337 --> 00:00:48,426
No gifts, no romance, no mush.
23
00:00:48,432 --> 00:00:49,898
What's up with your box?
24
00:00:49,904 --> 00:00:52,523
(scoffs) My box is not going
anywhere near Josh no...
25
00:00:52,529 --> 00:00:53,862
Oh, this box.
26
00:00:54,910 --> 00:00:58,545
Well, Alan asked me to make
a surprise dinner for Elliot,
27
00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:00,421
and, me, I am looking
forward to spending
28
00:01:00,427 --> 00:01:02,705
a booze-filled night
with you and Yolanda,
29
00:01:02,711 --> 00:01:04,135
my gal-entines.
30
00:01:04,842 --> 00:01:06,042
Uck.
31
00:01:06,760 --> 00:01:08,461
Where the hell have you guys been?
32
00:01:08,467 --> 00:01:10,534
We were supposed
to start drinking at 9:00.
33
00:01:10,540 --> 00:01:11,769
P.M.
34
00:01:13,268 --> 00:01:14,757
Oh my damn!
35
00:01:15,159 --> 00:01:16,850
I'm gonna need a ride to work.
36
00:01:17,015 --> 00:01:20,015
(theme music playing)
37
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:26,401
She's in the spotlight
38
00:01:26,415 --> 00:01:28,072
And she turned my head
39
00:01:28,078 --> 00:01:30,102
She'd run a red light
40
00:01:30,108 --> 00:01:31,883
'Cause she's bad like that
41
00:01:31,889 --> 00:01:35,635
I like that ooh, baby,
ooh, baby, baby
42
00:01:35,641 --> 00:01:39,141
-
I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com
43
00:01:39,495 --> 00:01:41,929
My pleasure, Alan.
Elliot's gonna love it.
44
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,510
It's super cute. It's got
all your favorite foods in it.
45
00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:47,151
I call it, "Eat, Gay, Love."
46
00:01:47,995 --> 00:01:49,807
- Isn't that fun... Hello?
- (line clicks)
47
00:01:51,566 --> 00:01:52,766
What you got there?
48
00:01:52,771 --> 00:01:54,100
Um, nothing.
49
00:01:54,106 --> 00:01:56,026
- It looks like a gift.
- Why would you say that?
50
00:01:56,031 --> 00:01:58,692
'Cause it's a box with a big bow
on it. Who's it for? Spill it!
51
00:01:59,043 --> 00:02:02,178
Um, huh, Josh, it's... it's for Josh.
52
00:02:02,184 --> 00:02:04,817
It's a little Valentine's Day
gift that I got for him,
53
00:02:04,823 --> 00:02:06,651
but don't tell him.
It'll ruin everything.
54
00:02:06,657 --> 00:02:09,225
Please, I can keep a secret.
55
00:02:09,231 --> 00:02:11,127
Just ask my high school tennis coach.
56
00:02:13,343 --> 00:02:15,143
Hey, did Gabi leave
for the grocery store yet?
57
00:02:15,149 --> 00:02:16,860
Fine, I'll tell you.
58
00:02:18,139 --> 00:02:20,444
Gabi has a Valentine's Day gift for you.
59
00:02:20,530 --> 00:02:22,147
(snickers) What? No, she doesn't.
60
00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:24,087
She's in the laundry room
right now hiding it.
61
00:02:24,188 --> 00:02:27,707
See, that's why
my tennis coach got fired.
62
00:02:28,274 --> 00:02:29,695
Wait, we had an agreement.
63
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:31,723
No gifts, no romance, no mush.
64
00:02:32,335 --> 00:02:34,035
Dammit, I knew this was going to happen.
65
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:35,331
See?
66
00:02:35,453 --> 00:02:39,057
I knew the minute we were having the
sex she wouldn't be able to resist me.
67
00:02:39,979 --> 00:02:41,179
Now what am I going to do?
68
00:02:41,184 --> 00:02:43,524
Just don't get her anything in return.
69
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:45,148
Are you out of your mind?
70
00:02:45,311 --> 00:02:47,053
I can't not get her anything.
71
00:02:47,059 --> 00:02:48,553
Do you know nothing about women?
72
00:02:49,108 --> 00:02:50,705
Did we just meet?
73
00:02:51,608 --> 00:02:55,061
If Gabi gets me a gift and I don't get
her one she'll be all hurt, and then
74
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:56,725
that'll turn to resentment.
75
00:02:56,730 --> 00:02:58,810
That could be the end
of the punch-card relationship,
76
00:02:58,815 --> 00:03:00,800
or maybe our whole relationship.
77
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:04,774
(scoffs) Thank God Alan and I don't have
to get each other gifts.
78
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,672
That's the benefit of being married.
79
00:03:06,678 --> 00:03:09,484
Hello, commitment. Goodbye, effort.
80
00:03:09,976 --> 00:03:11,697
Seriously, what am I going to get her?
81
00:03:11,703 --> 00:03:13,282
It's already Valentine's Day.
82
00:03:13,288 --> 00:03:17,998
I'd give you my reservations to Alan's
favorite restaurant, La Lune Jaune,
83
00:03:18,004 --> 00:03:23,191
but I didn't make any, because I'm
married and I put in zero effort.
84
00:03:24,318 --> 00:03:26,615
- Hey, Josh, I was...
- I got you a gift.
85
00:03:27,029 --> 00:03:28,233
What?
86
00:03:28,239 --> 00:03:30,006
Yep, I got you a gift.
87
00:03:30,012 --> 00:03:32,631
- Okay, but I thought we said no gifts.
- Ah, yeah, I know we said no gifts,
88
00:03:32,636 --> 00:03:34,996
but sometimes you say you're
not going to get someone a gift
89
00:03:35,001 --> 00:03:37,869
and you get them one anyway,
which is why I got you a...
90
00:03:38,097 --> 00:03:39,703
I got you a...
91
00:03:39,709 --> 00:03:41,391
dinner at La La Lu Jaune.
92
00:03:42,151 --> 00:03:44,894
Ahh, wow, what a surprise!
93
00:03:44,900 --> 00:03:47,387
Um, I mean, I had plans with...
94
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,777
Yolanda and Sofia, but I'll
just call Sofia right now
95
00:03:49,783 --> 00:03:51,679
(quietly) so she can tell me what to do!
96
00:03:56,485 --> 00:03:59,188
What? I thought you guys said
you weren't getting each other gifts.
97
00:03:59,194 --> 00:04:01,401
Yeah I know, but he crumbled
and asked me out to dinner.
98
00:04:01,407 --> 00:04:03,502
A romantic dinner. God...!
99
00:04:03,508 --> 00:04:06,028
I knew once we were having sex
he wouldn't be able to resist me.
100
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:08,952
Aw, you poor bitch.
101
00:04:09,263 --> 00:04:11,174
Sofia, what are we gonna do?
102
00:04:11,365 --> 00:04:13,391
- Don't go.
- Well, I can't not go.
103
00:04:13,397 --> 00:04:17,326
Then he'll fell rejected which will turn
to hurt, which he'll cover with sarcasm,
104
00:04:17,332 --> 00:04:20,012
which is really just anger, and after
anger there's no turning back.
105
00:04:20,017 --> 00:04:23,409
Our very complicated simply
sex relationship will be over!
106
00:04:23,912 --> 00:04:25,307
Okay, so then go,
107
00:04:25,313 --> 00:04:27,217
but if he does anything romantic,
108
00:04:27,223 --> 00:04:29,107
just shut it down.
Make it clear that romance
109
00:04:29,113 --> 00:04:31,209
is the last thing that you want
on Valentine's Day.
110
00:04:31,692 --> 00:04:34,733
Wow, Sofia, you are so good
at getting guys not to love you.
111
00:04:35,630 --> 00:04:37,658
Okay, well, good luck! (clears throat)
112
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,118
Well, Yolanda,
113
00:04:39,124 --> 00:04:40,840
looks like it's just you and me tonight.
114
00:04:41,203 --> 00:04:43,321
(chuckles) Oh, that'll be fun too.
115
00:04:44,939 --> 00:04:46,544
What the hell was that look?
116
00:04:46,679 --> 00:04:47,995
Let's be real,
117
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:50,369
of the two of you, Gabi is the fun one.
118
00:04:50,786 --> 00:04:52,205
I'm fun!
119
00:04:52,287 --> 00:04:54,874
What, did you think looking
for continuity errors
120
00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,450
in Downton Abbey was all
I had planned for tonight?
121
00:04:58,683 --> 00:05:01,084
What else? We gonna order some pizza?
122
00:05:01,186 --> 00:05:04,686
With all kinds of super fun
and unique toppings!
123
00:05:05,231 --> 00:05:07,950
How 'bout we order something
with no toppings,
124
00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:09,322
like a stripper?
125
00:05:09,328 --> 00:05:10,910
What do you mean?
126
00:05:11,129 --> 00:05:12,916
Like a man stripper?
127
00:05:13,950 --> 00:05:15,931
Who said you're not fun?
128
00:05:16,435 --> 00:05:18,323
I got him on speed dial.
129
00:05:23,941 --> 00:05:25,880
(soft piano music playing)
130
00:05:25,886 --> 00:05:29,661
Wow, a lot of candlelight and
romance here on Valentine's Day.
131
00:05:30,284 --> 00:05:32,171
And it is packed!
132
00:05:32,177 --> 00:05:33,506
That's not good...
133
00:05:33,767 --> 00:05:34,968
for...
134
00:05:34,974 --> 00:05:37,889
those losers who didn't make a
reservation. Gimme a second.
135
00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:42,257
No, I am sorry, it is Valentine's Day,
the Christmas of love.
136
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:43,640
We are booked solid.
137
00:05:43,646 --> 00:05:45,763
No amount of money will get you a table.
138
00:05:45,871 --> 00:05:47,662
Please call again anytime.
139
00:05:49,626 --> 00:05:52,349
Ah, monsieur, you have a reservation?
140
00:05:52,355 --> 00:05:54,162
I do. I'm Michael Stein,
and I'm right here,
141
00:05:54,168 --> 00:05:55,772
and right there.
142
00:05:55,953 --> 00:05:57,568
You're Michael Stein?
143
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:01,022
Doctor, it is only 7:30.
You're half an hour early.
144
00:06:01,660 --> 00:06:03,351
Ah, yeah, ah...
145
00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:05,758
I have a really good
reason for that, um...
146
00:06:05,937 --> 00:06:07,137
I'm a doctor,
147
00:06:07,143 --> 00:06:08,570
ah, tonight I'm performing surgery.
148
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,391
I'm separating conjoined twins,
they're sharing a heart
149
00:06:10,396 --> 00:06:12,076
which is funny 'cause
it's Valentine's Day.
150
00:06:12,081 --> 00:06:14,516
Anyhoo, I'm gonna need to
be out of here by 8:00.
151
00:06:14,998 --> 00:06:16,704
Very well, right this way.
152
00:06:16,974 --> 00:06:20,316
Tonight we serve a prefixed menu
consisting of seven courses.
153
00:06:20,322 --> 00:06:22,242
Hey, you know what, chief,
why don't we just, ah,
154
00:06:22,247 --> 00:06:24,207
mush them all together.
They're all French, right?
155
00:06:25,256 --> 00:06:26,456
Very well.
156
00:06:26,461 --> 00:06:28,527
Do you have any requests
for the pianist?
157
00:06:28,533 --> 00:06:31,930
Oh, no. I am definitely not in the
mood for any pianist tonight.
158
00:06:36,115 --> 00:06:37,713
Surprise!
159
00:06:37,719 --> 00:06:39,684
What the hell's this?
160
00:06:40,250 --> 00:06:42,483
I wanted to have our first
Valentine's Day dinner
161
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:43,771
where we had our first date,
162
00:06:43,777 --> 00:06:45,186
on Josh's terrace.
163
00:06:45,192 --> 00:06:47,185
Why do you have Gabi's gift for Josh?
164
00:06:47,191 --> 00:06:49,084
It's not! That's my gift for you.
165
00:06:49,090 --> 00:06:52,316
I had Gabi make a romantic dinner
for us and put it in this box.
166
00:06:52,322 --> 00:06:55,605
Wait so, you got me
a Valentine's Day gift?
167
00:06:55,611 --> 00:06:59,287
Of course. People in love get people
they love gifts. We're not animals.
168
00:06:59,681 --> 00:07:01,517
I can't wait to see what you got me.
169
00:07:01,523 --> 00:07:03,603
Well, you're gonna
have to wait a little longer.
170
00:07:03,609 --> 00:07:06,423
- How much?
- 'Till the stores open tomorrow.
171
00:07:06,429 --> 00:07:08,563
What? You didn't get me a gift?
172
00:07:08,569 --> 00:07:12,069
- I thought we said no gifts!
- We never said that!
173
00:07:12,075 --> 00:07:13,596
Well, we should have.
174
00:07:13,836 --> 00:07:15,368
I mean, this is ridiculous.
175
00:07:15,374 --> 00:07:17,858
We don't have to be romantic anymore.
176
00:07:17,864 --> 00:07:19,351
We're married.
177
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:21,268
Are we?
178
00:07:22,173 --> 00:07:23,539
Alan!
179
00:07:26,373 --> 00:07:28,891
Oh, "Eat, Gay, Love." That's clever.
180
00:07:34,479 --> 00:07:35,772
Ugh.
181
00:07:36,792 --> 00:07:40,115
I can't believe we just ate a
seven-course meal in 15 minutes.
182
00:07:40,121 --> 00:07:41,921
22 minutes. I can't eat another thing!
183
00:07:41,927 --> 00:07:43,303
Dessert, please.
184
00:07:44,201 --> 00:07:46,420
You're ready for... it?
185
00:07:47,233 --> 00:07:48,433
Now?
186
00:07:48,709 --> 00:07:50,399
Yes. Bring it. Bring everything.
187
00:07:51,612 --> 00:07:53,310
Okay, what is going on?
188
00:07:53,316 --> 00:07:55,507
I mean, you're rushing through dinner.
You keep checking your watch.
189
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:56,808
Why are you acting so weird?
190
00:07:56,814 --> 00:07:58,402
Look, I need to tell you the truth.
191
00:07:59,186 --> 00:08:00,682
The truth about what?
192
00:08:00,688 --> 00:08:02,715
Why I brought you to this
193
00:08:02,721 --> 00:08:05,176
unbelievably romantic restaurant
on Valentine's Day.
194
00:08:05,182 --> 00:08:06,515
Uh...
195
00:08:06,521 --> 00:08:08,511
did you get a haircut?
196
00:08:08,817 --> 00:08:11,207
Look, our relationship
is very important to me.
197
00:08:11,213 --> 00:08:13,025
Because maybe you did, but maybe,
you know, it's just a product.
198
00:08:13,030 --> 00:08:15,510
And it's scary because what I'm
about to say could change that.
199
00:08:15,516 --> 00:08:17,836
'Cause it's really, it's flattened
out the sides, you know?
200
00:08:18,111 --> 00:08:21,409
- Gabi, I...
- Oh gosh, I'm so sorry.
201
00:08:21,415 --> 00:08:23,734
- That's okay, you missed.
- Oh, I did? Lemme see.
202
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:26,244
Oh my gosh! So sorry!
203
00:08:26,250 --> 00:08:28,549
- Oh!
- Excuse me.
204
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:34,174
-
La da da da, da da da da da
- Oh! No, no, no.
205
00:08:34,187 --> 00:08:36,550
The last thing we need
right now is champagne.
206
00:08:36,556 --> 00:08:38,472
Oh, but this is very special champagne.
207
00:08:38,478 --> 00:08:41,906
- Monsieur picked it out himself.
- Oh, I'm sure the "Mon-siur" did
208
00:08:41,912 --> 00:08:44,888
but the "Mon-siur" is acting a
little nutso on Valentine's Day,
209
00:08:44,894 --> 00:08:47,581
so I think we need to pump
the "Mon-siur's" brakes!
210
00:08:48,075 --> 00:08:50,989
- It's $1,500 a bottle.
- One sip can't hurt.
211
00:08:52,224 --> 00:08:54,120
No, no, no, no, no! Not yet!
212
00:08:56,522 --> 00:08:58,054
What the hell? A ring?
213
00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:00,357
Yes, you have to wait for monsieur!
214
00:09:00,521 --> 00:09:01,721
For what?
215
00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:04,426
For your engagement.
Congratulations by the way.
216
00:09:05,347 --> 00:09:08,949
Yeah, just spit it back in. We can
reenact it when monsieur comes back.
217
00:09:08,955 --> 00:09:11,636
No, no, no, no. I'm... I'm...
I'm not reenacting anything.
218
00:09:11,642 --> 00:09:13,042
I gotta get out of here.
219
00:09:19,596 --> 00:09:23,689
Ah, Dr. Stein. Forgive me, but
your proposal to mademoiselle
220
00:09:23,695 --> 00:09:25,603
did not go exactly as planned.
221
00:09:26,118 --> 00:09:27,318
My what now?
222
00:09:27,798 --> 00:09:29,915
We put the ring in the champagne
223
00:09:29,921 --> 00:09:31,835
just like your assistant requested,
224
00:09:31,841 --> 00:09:35,215
but when mademoiselle saw it,
sadly, oh, she run away.
225
00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:39,422
What? No, no. I-I didn't propose.
We're... we're just friends.
226
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:41,547
Yes, well, now you are.
227
00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,593
- (knock on door)
- Stripper's here!
228
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,039
BOTH: Hey! Oh...
229
00:09:53,045 --> 00:09:56,007
Elliot and I had a horrible fight.
I didn't know where else to go.
230
00:09:56,013 --> 00:09:57,361
Oh, I'm sorry, Alan.
231
00:09:57,367 --> 00:09:59,472
Thanks, but there's nothing
you could possibly say
232
00:09:59,478 --> 00:10:00,681
to cheer me up right now.
233
00:10:00,687 --> 00:10:02,800
- We got a male stripper coming.
- Except that.
234
00:10:03,561 --> 00:10:04,761
- (knock on door)
- Ooh!
235
00:10:04,767 --> 00:10:05,993
Stripper's here!
236
00:10:07,306 --> 00:10:10,174
TRIO: Hey! Oh...
237
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:11,747
I forgot my keys.
238
00:10:11,795 --> 00:10:13,319
Gabi, what's wrong? I thought
you were supposed to be
239
00:10:13,324 --> 00:10:14,912
at your unromantic dinner with Josh.
240
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:16,608
Oh, yeah. It was unromantic,
241
00:10:16,614 --> 00:10:17,915
until he proposed!
242
00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:19,519
- What?
- Oy. Don't do it, Gabi.
243
00:10:19,525 --> 00:10:20,755
Pat Benatar was right.
244
00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:23,087
Love is a battlefield.
245
00:10:23,605 --> 00:10:26,832
Hold up. Josh wouldn't make a decision
like this without talking to me.
246
00:10:26,838 --> 00:10:29,752
If he was gonna
propose to you, I'd know it.
247
00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:31,759
Ooh, congratulations, girl!
248
00:10:32,248 --> 00:10:34,158
- (knock on door)
- Stripper's here!
249
00:10:34,164 --> 00:10:36,056
- JOSH: Gabi, are you in there?
- Dammit!
250
00:10:36,662 --> 00:10:38,356
(whispers) My God, it's Josh.
251
00:10:38,778 --> 00:10:40,605
I don't want to talk to him.
I was never here.
252
00:10:48,927 --> 00:10:50,923
Where's the rest of the fire escape?
253
00:10:51,595 --> 00:10:53,720
Thank God there's not an actual fire.
254
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,023
Mm.
255
00:11:05,092 --> 00:11:07,814
- I'm calling the cops!
- No, no, no, please.
256
00:11:09,298 --> 00:11:11,382
Oh no, hold still.
257
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:15,467
I know I've got a gun
around here someplace.
258
00:11:15,967 --> 00:11:18,260
I'm sorry. Is tonight
your wedding night?
259
00:11:18,868 --> 00:11:20,576
Why would you think that?
260
00:11:21,835 --> 00:11:23,101
No reason.
261
00:11:23,226 --> 00:11:27,022
Um, so, I'm... I'm Gabi. I'm
your upstairs neighbor, and uh,
262
00:11:27,028 --> 00:11:28,327
I-I'm only here because...
263
00:11:28,333 --> 00:11:30,485
the guy that I was
having casual sex with just
264
00:11:30,491 --> 00:11:32,266
proposed and I don't wanna marry him.
265
00:11:32,272 --> 00:11:34,454
So I ran away and now he's upstairs.
266
00:11:35,063 --> 00:11:36,675
Did I ask?
267
00:11:39,047 --> 00:11:42,047
Are you sure there's
nobody else here like a...
268
00:11:42,053 --> 00:11:43,266
like a groom?
269
00:11:43,272 --> 00:11:45,360
Why do you keep asking that?
270
00:11:45,366 --> 00:11:47,084
There's no one else here,
271
00:11:47,090 --> 00:11:50,704
including the delivery
guy with my calzone.
272
00:11:51,606 --> 00:11:54,517
Um, hey well, maybe we can
help each other out.
273
00:11:54,523 --> 00:11:56,874
I'm a chef, and if you
don't call the cops,
274
00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,464
I will make you something amazing!
275
00:11:58,470 --> 00:12:01,676
Throw in rotating my mattress,
you got a deal.
276
00:12:07,029 --> 00:12:09,064
You have to give me a reservation.
277
00:12:09,070 --> 00:12:11,138
This is my husband's
favorite restaurant.
278
00:12:11,144 --> 00:12:12,927
- I'll do anything!
- Please, sir.
279
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,413
I don't have time for this right now.
280
00:12:14,418 --> 00:12:17,537
My piano player just left
with the food poisoning...
281
00:12:17,543 --> 00:12:18,743
I mean the flu.
282
00:12:19,995 --> 00:12:22,592
I can play piano, but in return,
283
00:12:22,598 --> 00:12:23,947
you have to give me a table.
284
00:12:23,953 --> 00:12:25,541
- You play piano?
- Yes.
285
00:12:25,547 --> 00:12:28,479
My mother wouldn't let me eat
dessert unless I practiced.
286
00:12:28,485 --> 00:12:30,514
Then you must be a virtuoso.
287
00:12:31,873 --> 00:12:34,302
All right, hit it, Gay-thoven.
288
00:12:38,108 --> 00:12:40,405
Well, you were right. Once I
289
00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:43,022
hammered off all the
freezer ice, it was a brisket.
290
00:12:43,812 --> 00:12:46,810
Oh, expires 2003.
291
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:48,215
So did Harry.
292
00:12:49,869 --> 00:12:51,892
Was Harry your husband?
293
00:12:52,470 --> 00:12:54,377
No, it was the cow.
294
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,897
You're a natural blonde, aren't you?
295
00:13:01,136 --> 00:13:03,539
So, uh, I-I just gotta ask.
296
00:13:04,111 --> 00:13:06,245
Why are you wearing a wedding dress?
297
00:13:06,695 --> 00:13:09,386
I wear it every Valentine's Day.
298
00:13:10,579 --> 00:13:12,896
It is Valentine's Day, right?
299
00:13:13,673 --> 00:13:15,093
Yeah.
300
00:13:15,099 --> 00:13:18,111
Okay, let's see. This carrot
will add some color.
301
00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:19,317
Ooh.
302
00:13:19,323 --> 00:13:21,023
Reminds me of Charlie...
303
00:13:21,918 --> 00:13:23,923
my fourth husband,
304
00:13:24,587 --> 00:13:26,621
which is why I married Harry,
305
00:13:26,627 --> 00:13:27,827
my fifth.
306
00:13:28,973 --> 00:13:31,513
Wow, you've been married five times?
307
00:13:31,519 --> 00:13:33,650
I ran away at the thought of just one.
308
00:13:33,656 --> 00:13:35,452
You must really love being married.
309
00:13:35,458 --> 00:13:36,658
No.
310
00:13:37,723 --> 00:13:40,292
Well then, why would
you do it five times?
311
00:13:40,298 --> 00:13:42,196
I love wearing the dress.
312
00:13:43,048 --> 00:13:46,016
Plus, when you are in it,
313
00:13:46,022 --> 00:13:48,231
something magical happens.
314
00:13:48,423 --> 00:13:51,191
I thought that only happened
when you took the dress off.
315
00:13:51,868 --> 00:13:53,569
Don't be dirty.
316
00:13:55,181 --> 00:13:56,465
Sorry.
317
00:13:56,471 --> 00:13:59,069
I would've been married seven times.
318
00:13:59,075 --> 00:14:01,569
but twice, I put it on,
319
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:04,817
and it told me, "Don't do it."
320
00:14:05,215 --> 00:14:06,738
Wow, so...
321
00:14:07,129 --> 00:14:09,119
the dress actually told you that?
322
00:14:09,125 --> 00:14:13,035
Oh, put it on, it answers
all of your questions.
323
00:14:15,219 --> 00:14:17,117
You wanna try it on, don't you?
324
00:14:19,117 --> 00:14:21,320
Well, I do have a lot of questions.
325
00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:22,636
Okay,
326
00:14:23,014 --> 00:14:25,804
but you're not going
to fill it out like I do.
327
00:14:29,294 --> 00:14:31,026
You're telling me that Valentine's gift
328
00:14:31,032 --> 00:14:32,555
- wasn't from Gabi?
- No.
329
00:14:32,561 --> 00:14:35,333
It was my gift to Elliot,
who won't stop calling.
330
00:14:35,339 --> 00:14:37,738
But I refuse to answer
because that gift,
331
00:14:37,744 --> 00:14:39,614
was from my heart,
which I no longer have
332
00:14:39,620 --> 00:14:42,127
because my ice queen
husband ripped it from my chest
333
00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:43,613
on the most romantic day of the year!
334
00:14:43,618 --> 00:14:45,089
Where's that damn stripper?
335
00:14:46,142 --> 00:14:49,270
The only reason I took her out was
because I thought she got me something.
336
00:14:49,276 --> 00:14:50,534
I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
337
00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:51,971
Well, the only reason
she went with you is
338
00:14:51,976 --> 00:14:53,261
because she didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
339
00:14:53,266 --> 00:14:55,426
And then she thought you
proposed, and she freaked out!
340
00:14:55,431 --> 00:14:57,611
No! No, no, no...
this doesn't make sense, okay?
341
00:14:57,617 --> 00:15:00,497
I know Gabi.
She's never had a problem saying no.
342
00:15:00,503 --> 00:15:01,902
Want to know what I think?
343
00:15:01,908 --> 00:15:03,665
I think she does have feelings for me,
344
00:15:03,671 --> 00:15:05,389
and she's conflicted!
345
00:15:05,395 --> 00:15:08,073
- She's not conflicted.
- GABI: Oh my God!
346
00:15:08,381 --> 00:15:09,700
Gabi?
347
00:15:11,091 --> 00:15:13,134
So, was I right?
348
00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:15,736
Yep, I do not fill it out
the way you do,
349
00:15:16,251 --> 00:15:19,049
but I love it. I love it so much.
350
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:24,620
JOSH: She's in a dress!
351
00:15:24,870 --> 00:15:26,862
- She's in a wedding dress!
- Who?
352
00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:29,108
Gabi, she's in a wedding dress,
a big one with... with...
353
00:15:29,113 --> 00:15:30,886
with the frills, and it has the poof.
354
00:15:30,892 --> 00:15:33,234
- What are you talking about?
- I was wrong, Sofia.
355
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:34,639
She's not conflicted.
356
00:15:34,652 --> 00:15:36,132
She freaking loves me.
357
00:15:37,742 --> 00:15:39,644
I don't ever want to take it off.
358
00:15:39,650 --> 00:15:41,944
But that's when the fun starts.
359
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,010
Don't be dirty.
360
00:15:45,401 --> 00:15:46,601
Ahh!
361
00:15:46,607 --> 00:15:48,201
- Oh my God!
- Pretty!
362
00:15:48,207 --> 00:15:49,419
Did I just hear the stripper?
363
00:15:49,425 --> 00:15:51,131
What are you guys doing down here?
364
00:15:51,137 --> 00:15:52,615
Looking for you, sweetheart!
365
00:15:52,621 --> 00:15:54,521
This is the guy you ran away from?
366
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:58,440
(quietly) Newsflash, gay.
367
00:16:01,314 --> 00:16:03,805
No, not him. Him!
368
00:16:04,613 --> 00:16:08,331
Ooh... nice!
369
00:16:09,828 --> 00:16:12,408
Gabi, I don't want to marry you.
370
00:16:12,414 --> 00:16:13,726
- You don't?
- No!
371
00:16:13,732 --> 00:16:15,212
Well, then why did you propose to me?
372
00:16:15,217 --> 00:16:17,534
I didn't propose.
Michael Stein proposed.
373
00:16:17,540 --> 00:16:18,760
Who the hell's Michael Stein?
374
00:16:18,766 --> 00:16:20,338
The guy whose reservation
I stole because I thought
375
00:16:20,343 --> 00:16:22,903
you got me a gift, but it turns
out it was Alan's gift to Elliot.
376
00:16:22,908 --> 00:16:24,274
Can't hear that enough.
377
00:16:25,324 --> 00:16:26,926
Wait, so seriously you
378
00:16:26,932 --> 00:16:28,832
- don't wanna marry me?
- No.
379
00:16:28,926 --> 00:16:30,527
I'll marry you.
380
00:16:32,235 --> 00:16:34,534
Gabi, I love the way things
are between us right now.
381
00:16:34,540 --> 00:16:36,647
I do too. I mean,
I don't wanna marry you.
382
00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:38,373
I don't even know why
I'm wearing this ring.
383
00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:40,878
Ring? You kept the ri...
you kept the ring?!
384
00:16:42,386 --> 00:16:43,586
(phone rings)
385
00:16:43,592 --> 00:16:45,096
Hello, La Lune Jaune.
386
00:16:45,102 --> 00:16:47,472
Hi, uh, not sure if you're
going to remember me,
387
00:16:47,478 --> 00:16:50,118
but I'm the guy who came in earlier
pretending to be Michael Stein?
388
00:16:50,124 --> 00:16:53,008
Oh, thank God, please tell me you are
calling because you have the ring.
389
00:16:53,014 --> 00:16:54,452
Yes, ah, we have it right here.
390
00:16:54,458 --> 00:16:56,331
Hurry, because the future
Mr. and Mrs. Stein
391
00:16:56,337 --> 00:16:58,532
are ten minutes away
from the champagne course.
392
00:16:58,538 --> 00:17:00,838
Ah, okay, we're on our way!
393
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,504
- Take off the ring.
- Yeah,
394
00:17:02,510 --> 00:17:04,207
I'm trying but someone just force-fed me
395
00:17:04,213 --> 00:17:06,512
a seven-course meal and I'm
a little bloated.
396
00:17:06,620 --> 00:17:08,097
You'll get it off in the car. Guys,
397
00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:09,512
- pull my car around?
- Ah.
398
00:17:09,518 --> 00:17:11,519
Okay, lemme just, um...
lemme go change and I'll
399
00:17:11,525 --> 00:17:13,925
- No time, no time. No time!
- put on my shoes. (screams)
400
00:17:15,416 --> 00:17:17,736
I gotta start locking my window.
401
00:17:23,674 --> 00:17:25,478
We're here, we're here.
402
00:17:26,650 --> 00:17:28,126
Wow, I thought you said no?
403
00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:29,751
We've got the ring. We've got the ring.
404
00:17:30,752 --> 00:17:32,345
We stalled as long as we could.
405
00:17:32,351 --> 00:17:33,932
They're about to serve
the champagne right now.
406
00:17:33,937 --> 00:17:35,697
- Take off the ring.
- Yeah, I'm trying. It's
407
00:17:35,702 --> 00:17:37,749
- stuck on my knuckle. I am pulling.
- Keep pulling.
408
00:17:37,755 --> 00:17:40,385
It won't come off! Ooh, melted butter.
409
00:17:42,874 --> 00:17:44,792
You can take it to the table now.
Thank you.
410
00:17:46,454 --> 00:17:47,881
(grunts)
411
00:17:47,887 --> 00:17:49,087
Oh no!
412
00:17:52,593 --> 00:17:56,730
Ooh, champagne course. So fancy!
413
00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:04,253
Oh my God. I will!
414
00:18:04,259 --> 00:18:05,959
ALL: She will!
415
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,203
Hey, they're getting married!
416
00:18:09,209 --> 00:18:10,700
Hey, we're not!
417
00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:12,803
Ooh. I'm Yolanda.
418
00:18:12,809 --> 00:18:14,405
I get off in ten minutes.
419
00:18:14,411 --> 00:18:17,078
God willing, I will too.
420
00:18:18,728 --> 00:18:21,492
I'm glad someone's having
a nice Valentine's day.
421
00:18:21,498 --> 00:18:23,923
- Alan?
- Elliot.
422
00:18:23,929 --> 00:18:26,406
You never returned my calls.
How'd you know I was here?
423
00:18:26,412 --> 00:18:28,670
I didn't. I came with them.
It's a whole to do.
424
00:18:29,436 --> 00:18:30,764
What are you doing here?
425
00:18:30,770 --> 00:18:33,343
I know this is your favorite restaurant.
426
00:18:33,349 --> 00:18:36,247
I wanted to meet you here so
I could give you your present.
427
00:18:36,253 --> 00:18:37,639
What present?
428
00:18:39,540 --> 00:18:40,740
(music playing)
429
00:18:40,745 --> 00:18:44,055
Let me call you sweetheart
430
00:18:44,061 --> 00:18:48,476
I'm in love with you
431
00:18:48,809 --> 00:18:51,594
If you think a song can win me back,
432
00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:52,996
you'd be right!
433
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:58,795
Keep the love light glowing
434
00:18:58,801 --> 00:19:03,524
In your eyes so true
435
00:19:03,530 --> 00:19:06,931
BOTH:
Let me call you sweetheart
436
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:12,276
I'm in love with you
437
00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:16,746
BOTH: God, I hate Valentine's Day.
438
00:19:23,854 --> 00:19:25,566
May I have this first dance?
439
00:19:25,572 --> 00:19:28,102
You may, but it might be
a little mushy and romantic.
440
00:19:28,108 --> 00:19:30,288
- Mm... the hell with it.
- Okay.
441
00:19:34,697 --> 00:19:36,228
Happy Valentine's Day, Gabi.
442
00:19:36,234 --> 00:19:37,853
Happy Valentine's Day, Josh.
443
00:19:39,034 --> 00:19:42,641
Let me call you sweetheart
444
00:19:42,647 --> 00:19:46,959
I'm in love with you
445
00:19:47,337 --> 00:19:50,941
Let me hear you whisper
446
00:19:50,947 --> 00:19:55,625
That you love me too
447
00:19:57,084 --> 00:19:58,390
Ms. Wilson?
448
00:19:58,396 --> 00:19:59,692
Dammit!
449
00:19:59,698 --> 00:20:02,114
Locked the windows, forgot the door.
450
00:20:03,485 --> 00:20:05,474
I, uh... I brought your
wedding dress back.
451
00:20:05,592 --> 00:20:08,866
So the magic dress
told you, "No way," huh?
452
00:20:08,872 --> 00:20:11,730
Well, just between you and me...
453
00:20:11,736 --> 00:20:13,653
it said, "Not yet."
454
00:20:15,254 --> 00:20:16,842
Hey, I'm a little lost.
455
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,950
I'm looking for a Sofia and Yolanda?
456
00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:20,745
That's us.
457
00:20:20,751 --> 00:20:23,118
- (rock music playing)
- Perfect.
458
00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:27,986
(gasps)
459
00:20:30,039 --> 00:20:32,780
Told ya this dress was magic.
460
00:20:35,543 --> 00:20:37,810
Oh, cute. He's got a heart on!
461
00:20:37,816 --> 00:20:39,928
- (Velcro rips)
- MS, WILSON: Oh.
462
00:20:40,398 --> 00:20:41,920
Still does.
463
00:20:45,289 --> 00:20:48,581
- MS. WILSON: Best Valentine's Day ever!
- Sync/Corrections PetaG - addic7ed.com
464
00:20:48,631 --> 00:20:53,181
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