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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,169 --> 00:00:05,175 Mmm, now that was the best "I'm sorry" calamari I've ever had 2 00:00:05,186 --> 00:00:05,906 (Sofia laughs) 3 00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:07,931 So, you forgive us for totally screwing up your life? 4 00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,300 Well, in a way, you two girls did me a favor. 5 00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:13,070 Coleman got so mad about Dmitri, 6 00:00:13,104 --> 00:00:17,007 he wound up admitting he did cheat with the waitress. 7 00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:19,143 And his hairdresser. 8 00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:21,912 And the dog walker. 9 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,480 We don't even have a dog! 10 00:00:23,498 --> 00:00:24,972 Ha! 11 00:00:24,973 --> 00:00:28,385 Okay, so what are we watching for our first movie night, neighbor? 12 00:00:28,386 --> 00:00:31,542 I grabbed it from Josh's office. It's a classic. 13 00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:34,311 Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. 14 00:00:35,554 --> 00:00:37,489 (Seductive guitar music plays) 15 00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:42,174 I didn't know Keanu was black. 16 00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,173 Why is everybody naked? 17 00:00:46,902 --> 00:00:48,998 They are really steaming up that phone booth. 18 00:00:50,839 --> 00:00:51,973 Gimme that remote. 19 00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:55,009 I gotta turn this up. 20 00:00:55,044 --> 00:00:56,811 (Laughing) 21 00:00:56,845 --> 00:00:59,647 (In Russian accent) We are bad girls! 22 00:01:06,231 --> 00:01:07,050 (Sniffs) 23 00:01:07,138 --> 00:01:08,839 What's that smell? Is it garbage day? 24 00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:12,610 No, I made breakfast. 25 00:01:14,178 --> 00:01:16,714 Oh! Did you make it with garbage? 26 00:01:17,964 --> 00:01:21,964 Since your mom passed away, I know how hard it is for you on her birthday, 27 00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:25,794 so I made you a feast of eggs, bacon and buttermilk pancakes! 28 00:01:26,126 --> 00:01:28,595 That is so sweet. 29 00:01:28,596 --> 00:01:30,298 Where are those things? 30 00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:34,117 Also, I put $20 31 00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:36,014 in the Julia Child Smithsonian trip jar 32 00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:37,629 - (gasps) - And if someone would stop taking quarters 33 00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:38,567 out of the jar, 34 00:01:38,568 --> 00:01:40,005 we would finally be able to take that trip 35 00:01:40,006 --> 00:01:41,474 you and your mom always dreamed about. 36 00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:43,965 Aww. Oh! You hear that? 37 00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:46,067 Mom just said you're the best friend ever. 38 00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:48,459 Aww. Thank you, Mrs. Diamond. 39 00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:50,359 Oh! What was that now? 40 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,671 (Gasps) Breakfast should be your most important meal of the day, 41 00:01:53,672 --> 00:01:55,370 not your last. 42 00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,602 I think she's a smart lady. 43 00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:02,973 - Why don't I make you breakfast? - Oh, good idea. 44 00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:05,075 Two organic eggs, toast, bacon extra crispy, 45 00:02:05,075 --> 00:02:06,710 and tick-tock, 'cause I gotta get to work. 46 00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,777 (Laughs) 47 00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:09,613 (Theme music playing) 48 00:02:14,359 --> 00:02:16,495 She's in the spotlight 49 00:02:16,495 --> 00:02:18,326 And she turned my head 50 00:02:18,327 --> 00:02:20,299 She'd run a red light 51 00:02:20,299 --> 00:02:22,234 Cos she's bad like that 52 00:02:22,234 --> 00:02:25,237 I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby 53 00:02:25,237 --> 00:02:26,061 Baby 54 00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,292 I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby 55 00:02:28,293 --> 00:02:30,006 Sync & corrections by PetaG - www.addic7ed.com - 56 00:02:30,007 --> 00:02:32,242 Gabi! More coffee! 57 00:02:32,242 --> 00:02:33,557 I haven't slept in two days. 58 00:02:33,558 --> 00:02:36,046 Wow. Sounds like somebody's getting lucky. 59 00:02:36,046 --> 00:02:38,248 That puts the "nasty" in "doing the nasty." 60 00:02:41,018 --> 00:02:43,654 Sex with Alan is wild. 61 00:02:43,654 --> 00:02:45,489 I feel like Elliot, 62 00:02:45,489 --> 00:02:47,057 Queen of the Jungle. 63 00:02:48,265 --> 00:02:52,184 Last night we did it in the craziest place... 64 00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:55,599 (Whispers) The bedroom floor. 65 00:02:56,767 --> 00:03:00,571 Oh please, I've done it on the floor of Bed, Bath & Beyond. 66 00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:04,022 I went in with a 20% off coupon, 67 00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:06,459 and got 100% off. 68 00:03:08,528 --> 00:03:10,197 Hey! So... 69 00:03:10,197 --> 00:03:12,766 Before my amazing girlfriend comes down, I need your help. 70 00:03:12,766 --> 00:03:14,090 Shauna is being honored 71 00:03:14,091 --> 00:03:15,983 by the San Francisco Journalists Association, 72 00:03:15,984 --> 00:03:17,456 and I need to think of an awesome gift. 73 00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,239 Oh, and ah... 74 00:03:19,239 --> 00:03:20,539 Ferris wheel. 75 00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:21,752 (Mockingly) Oh, look at me. 76 00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:23,543 I'm rich. I can buy a Ferris wheel. 77 00:03:25,145 --> 00:03:27,614 I was talking about the craziest place I ever had sex. 78 00:03:28,782 --> 00:03:30,116 In a Ferris wheel 79 00:03:30,116 --> 00:03:32,619 at a wedding with a carnival theme. 80 00:03:32,619 --> 00:03:33,653 Beat that. 81 00:03:33,653 --> 00:03:35,055 I can. 82 00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:37,023 My daughter's seventh birthday 83 00:03:37,023 --> 00:03:38,158 in the bouncy castle 84 00:03:38,158 --> 00:03:39,659 with the clown. 85 00:03:39,659 --> 00:03:41,114 It turns out noses aren't 86 00:03:41,115 --> 00:03:43,029 the only thing clowns like to honk. 87 00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:46,740 Ugh! Kids, clowns, hetero sex... 88 00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,034 there's nothing for me here. 89 00:03:50,103 --> 00:03:51,805 Umm... 90 00:03:51,805 --> 00:03:53,706 You have another kid... 91 00:03:53,706 --> 00:03:54,607 Besides Brett? 92 00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:56,776 Yeah, Danielle, she's 25. 93 00:03:56,776 --> 00:03:58,812 Wow. (Chuckles) Two kids. 94 00:03:58,812 --> 00:04:00,613 (Stammers) Is that it? 95 00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:03,181 I don't talk about Danielle that often. 96 00:04:03,182 --> 00:04:05,756 Unfortunately, we haven't spoken in years. 97 00:04:05,757 --> 00:04:07,868 What? A mother-daughter not close? What happened? 98 00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,899 Gabi, sounds like it's kind of a private thing. 99 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,724 (Whispers) Yeah, yeah, that's why I'm asking. 100 00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:13,624 It's okay, Josh. 101 00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,488 I was a child myself when I had her. 102 00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:18,057 And if I'm truthful, I think we're just too much alike. 103 00:04:19,106 --> 00:04:22,058 - Now can we talk about breakfast? - Yes. Would you like eggs? 104 00:04:22,059 --> 00:04:24,102 And do you at least send each other Christmas cards? 105 00:04:24,659 --> 00:04:27,328 Well, I do. I just... I never get one back. 106 00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:28,930 Not even an e-card? 107 00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:30,667 But they're free. 108 00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:35,013 Last I heard, she was making artisanal maple syrup in Vermont. 109 00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,940 Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go cry in my car. 110 00:04:37,941 --> 00:04:39,265 - Shauna! - I'm just kidding. 111 00:04:39,266 --> 00:04:40,510 A driver's picking me up. 112 00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,281 I'm gonna cry in his car. 113 00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,424 - (Door opens, closes) - Hey, you know what a 114 00:04:45,425 --> 00:04:46,900 great gift for Shauna would be? 115 00:04:46,901 --> 00:04:49,176 A therapist... thanks to you. 116 00:04:49,228 --> 00:04:51,390 No. Get her and her daughter back together. 117 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,047 No, that's Shauna's personal business. 118 00:04:53,048 --> 00:04:54,535 - It's not my place to get involved. - Yeah, that's why 119 00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:56,341 it would be such a great surprise... she'd never see it coming. 120 00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:59,273 Every mother and daughter want to be close. Come on, Josh, trust me. 121 00:04:59,273 --> 00:05:01,448 (Laughs) Trust you? No. 122 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:02,484 - But... - No! 123 00:05:02,485 --> 00:05:03,519 - Is that a firm... - Yes! 124 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,022 - So that's a yes! - No! 125 00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,157 No! 126 00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:07,192 No. 127 00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,228 - Just... - No. 128 00:05:08,229 --> 00:05:09,230 Okay. 129 00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:16,009 (Yelps) Oh my damn. 130 00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,544 A pig in a blanket. 131 00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:20,028 I don't know what happened. 132 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,398 I came to get Josh's tux for the cleaner's, 133 00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:25,473 I smelled his pillow, and the next thing I know... 134 00:05:25,474 --> 00:05:27,776 - Okay, night-night. - Nuh-uh. 135 00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:31,535 Okay, baby, something definitely isn't right. 136 00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:34,642 Come on. I don't usually put you down for your nap until 4:00. 137 00:05:36,658 --> 00:05:40,273 I spent my first weekend at Alan's place and couldn't sleep, 138 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,538 'cause I was afraid I might do something embarrassing. 139 00:05:42,582 --> 00:05:45,144 It can't be more embarrassing than what you do when you're awake. 140 00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,844 Hey, I just got an idea. 141 00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:50,379 Can you come over to my house and watch me sleep? 142 00:05:50,379 --> 00:05:52,381 I would, but the exorcist is on, 143 00:05:52,381 --> 00:05:54,750 and watching that sounds a little less scary. 144 00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:58,172 I can get you front-row seats to see Usher! 145 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,147 I'm gonna need your address, a key, and some holy water. 146 00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:10,411 Hey, Josh, I made you a little snack... 147 00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,811 chicken and waffles. 148 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,799 No thank you. I'm not hungry. 149 00:06:13,799 --> 00:06:16,368 "Where's the maple syrup," you say? 150 00:06:17,012 --> 00:06:18,380 I didn't say. 151 00:06:21,218 --> 00:06:22,252 What are you saying? 152 00:06:23,524 --> 00:06:26,105 I'm just saying the syrup's on the way over... 153 00:06:26,106 --> 00:06:27,524 from Vermont. 154 00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,121 - You didn't. - I did. 155 00:06:30,122 --> 00:06:32,153 I called Danielle, and she really wants to see her mom. 156 00:06:32,154 --> 00:06:33,915 I know you told me not to, but it was the right thing to do. 157 00:06:33,916 --> 00:06:35,641 - I had to! - Gabi, call it off. 158 00:06:35,642 --> 00:06:37,510 - (Doorbell rings) - Too late. 159 00:06:39,072 --> 00:06:41,050 Shauna, would you come down here, please? 160 00:06:41,051 --> 00:06:43,153 How dare you! I clearly said no. 161 00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:44,935 There were no other words surrounding it. One word. "No." 162 00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:46,697 What's all the commotion? 163 00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:48,052 Shauna, I want you to know 164 00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:50,523 - I had nothing to do with this. - Ta-da! 165 00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,747 Hi, Mom. 166 00:06:53,791 --> 00:06:57,041 (Gasps) Oh my God! Dani! What are you doing here? 167 00:06:57,128 --> 00:06:59,216 Well, she flew all the way across the country 168 00:06:59,217 --> 00:07:01,219 because she wanted to see you. Isn't that right, Danielle? 169 00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,429 When Gabi called me, 170 00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,424 - I jumped at the chance. - And you wanna know why she 171 00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,451 never sent you any cards? Well, you tell her. 172 00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:09,088 - It's... it's just... - She really needed her independence, 173 00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:12,793 you know, but now she realizes that... you tell her. 174 00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:18,039 My life is nowhere near as good without you in it. 175 00:07:18,039 --> 00:07:19,694 Can you ever forgive me? 176 00:07:19,695 --> 00:07:20,705 Can I? 177 00:07:22,037 --> 00:07:25,179 (Gasps) She can. She can. 178 00:07:27,401 --> 00:07:30,244 See, Josh? I told you this would all work out. 179 00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:32,080 Now, if you wanna pay me back for her plane ticket, 180 00:07:32,081 --> 00:07:34,884 - that would be really great. - Not cool. 181 00:07:34,885 --> 00:07:37,163 This is totally not cool. This is a disaster. 182 00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,867 Seriously? Are you seeing what I'm seeing? 183 00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:41,617 Because what I'm seeing is a beautiful mother-daughter reunion 184 00:07:41,618 --> 00:07:42,919 happening right in front of us. 185 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,832 What could possibly be wrong with this picture? 186 00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:46,701 - That's Ferris wheel girl! - (Gasps) 187 00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:53,543 Are you sure that's Ferris wheel girl? 188 00:07:53,543 --> 00:07:55,345 I mean, it was years ago in the dark. 189 00:07:55,345 --> 00:07:57,313 Dark? She was all lit up. 190 00:07:57,313 --> 00:07:58,715 Her body was red, then blue, 191 00:07:58,715 --> 00:08:01,351 then yellow... then red again. 192 00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:06,289 - Well, maybe she won't remember you. - Come on, Gabi. It's me! 193 00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:10,272 Josh, I'm so excited to say this, 194 00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:12,242 meet my daughter Danielle. 195 00:08:12,316 --> 00:08:14,451 (Haltingly) Hi, I'm Josh. 196 00:08:15,139 --> 00:08:16,841 Hey, nice to meet you. 197 00:08:18,488 --> 00:08:20,656 (Haltingly) Nice to meet you, too. 198 00:08:21,685 --> 00:08:25,489 - Well, this calls for champagne. - Great idea! 199 00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:28,339 - (Cellphone rings) - Oh! I'm sorry, Dani. 200 00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,661 It's Anderson Cooper. He gets real whiny if you don't pick up. I'll be right back. 201 00:08:34,273 --> 00:08:37,076 So... maple syrup, huh? 202 00:08:37,077 --> 00:08:39,412 Yeah, it's kinda random, but it suits me. 203 00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:42,250 (Chuckling) Vermont! 204 00:08:43,271 --> 00:08:46,274 Pretty cold there. Gets kind of cold there in the winter. 205 00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:50,245 Yeah. Way to cold to have sex on a Ferris wheel. 206 00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:52,394 I knew it! I knew you remembered me! 207 00:08:52,395 --> 00:08:54,306 Yeah, who could forget? I mean you were red, 208 00:08:54,307 --> 00:08:57,116 and then blue, and then yellow, and then red again. 209 00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:01,299 - Champagne is served. - It's her. I told you. 210 00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:03,383 You're Ferris wheel girl? 211 00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:04,852 Damn it! 212 00:09:04,853 --> 00:09:06,152 Do you see what you did? 213 00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:08,536 Do you see what you did when you did the thing I told you not to do? 214 00:09:08,537 --> 00:09:10,223 Well, if you didn't do the thing that you shouldn't have done, then 215 00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:12,668 the thing I did would've been the thing that I should've done! 216 00:09:13,681 --> 00:09:17,151 - So what are we gonna do? - Okay, everybody just shut up, all right? 217 00:09:17,151 --> 00:09:18,920 This is a very precious day. 218 00:09:20,855 --> 00:09:22,190 You know what you did to him. 219 00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:24,334 He knows what he did to you. The important thing is 220 00:09:24,335 --> 00:09:27,729 your mother can never find out what you did to each other. 221 00:09:28,731 --> 00:09:30,433 You want me to lie to Shauna? 222 00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:32,536 That puts me in a very uncomfortable position. 223 00:09:32,537 --> 00:09:35,186 Oh, really? Well, it can't be any more uncomfortable 224 00:09:35,187 --> 00:09:37,422 than the position you guys were in on the Ferris wheel! 225 00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,232 (Laughter) 226 00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:47,168 Gabi, this dinner was absolutely delicious. 227 00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:49,137 And completely uneventful. 228 00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:50,387 - Mmm. - Mom, do you realize 229 00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:53,491 this is the first dinner we've had together in three years? 230 00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,362 - To making up for lost time. - Cheers! 231 00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,105 Well, get ready, 'cause now it's time 232 00:09:58,106 --> 00:10:00,601 for the first dessert you've had together in three years. 233 00:10:00,602 --> 00:10:02,911 I'm so happy. (Giggles) 234 00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:04,573 Oh, don't worry, Shauna. I've got it. 235 00:10:04,574 --> 00:10:07,343 I insist. You've done so much for me. 236 00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:08,546 Thanks. 237 00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,675 I mean, this is a miracle. 238 00:10:11,675 --> 00:10:13,286 - Things are going great. - I know. 239 00:10:13,287 --> 00:10:15,845 - She doesn't have a clue. - Well, thank God. 240 00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:18,815 - I really like your mom. - Yeah, she's great. 241 00:10:18,815 --> 00:10:20,784 I love her... so much, 242 00:10:20,784 --> 00:10:22,808 - and you know what? - What? 243 00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:25,678 - I love you, too. - (Choking) 244 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,878 I've thought about you every single night 245 00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:30,109 since we made love on that Ferris wheel. 246 00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:32,625 It just keeps going round and round in my mind, 247 00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,682 - like a... - I don't know... Ferris wheel? 248 00:10:35,653 --> 00:10:38,584 Yes! That's it! (Laughs) 249 00:10:38,659 --> 00:10:41,034 I mean, you totally get me, 250 00:10:41,035 --> 00:10:42,702 and now here I am, 251 00:10:42,703 --> 00:10:46,944 sitting next to you. It's like... destiny! 252 00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:51,876 - Who's ready for dessert on the terrace? - I am, Mommy! 253 00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:54,278 Oh, and can you make some hot cocoa? 254 00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,348 - Anything for you, darling. - (Giggles) 255 00:10:57,348 --> 00:10:59,784 I thought she'd never leave. 256 00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,290 What is wrong with you? You're acting crazy! 257 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,212 No, I am not. 258 00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,151 I just wanna bite your neck! 259 00:11:06,152 --> 00:11:08,074 - (Grunts, giggles) - I'll be outside! 260 00:11:08,075 --> 00:11:11,912 - We'll be outside! - Perfect timing. I've got the dessert. 261 00:11:14,226 --> 00:11:17,062 (Chuckles) Gabi, we have a problem. 262 00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:20,053 - Danielle's in love with me. - What? Why would you think that? 263 00:11:20,323 --> 00:11:22,725 She said, "I love you," she's never stopped loving me... 264 00:11:22,726 --> 00:11:26,495 - (Mimics) She wants to bite my neck. - I see what's going on here. 265 00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:28,313 You're just upset because I went against your wishes, 266 00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:31,017 it all worked out, and you can't stand it. 267 00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:33,965 Gabi, is the water warm yet for Danielle's cocoa? 268 00:11:33,966 --> 00:11:35,435 Everything's ready to go. 269 00:11:36,207 --> 00:11:37,655 Here you go. 270 00:11:37,885 --> 00:11:39,686 Go! Go! 271 00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,486 (Giggles) 272 00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:46,169 Oh, you forgot the marshmallows. 273 00:11:46,169 --> 00:11:48,605 No, no, no, no. Don't go. 274 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,527 (Giggles) Hi. 275 00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:57,247 Okay, look, this has to stop. 276 00:11:57,247 --> 00:11:59,249 You're right. No, you're right. 277 00:11:59,249 --> 00:12:01,918 I-I came here to fix my relationship with my mother, 278 00:12:01,918 --> 00:12:04,287 so this can't happen. 279 00:12:04,287 --> 00:12:07,257 - Thank you. - But this can. 280 00:12:09,071 --> 00:12:10,227 (Gasps) Oh God! 281 00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:12,203 I'm just so happy 282 00:12:12,204 --> 00:12:14,696 that you and Danielle are back together! 283 00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:19,461 Me too. You're smushing the marshmallows, darling. 284 00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:21,744 Oh, the actual marshmallows. (Chuckles) 285 00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,499 - Hey, you found the marshmallows. - (Giggles) 286 00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,049 - Awesome. - (Mouths) 287 00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,675 I just noticed the time. I've got to get down to the studio. I'm on air tonight. 288 00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:34,290 Josh, I trust you'll entertain my daughter while I'm out. 289 00:12:34,291 --> 00:12:35,022 (Forcefully) No! 290 00:12:35,835 --> 00:12:38,471 I mean... Gabi? 291 00:12:38,472 --> 00:12:41,554 Uh, ah , I was thinking, since you have to work, 292 00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:44,436 maybe Danielle should come with me and spend the night at my place. 293 00:12:44,437 --> 00:12:45,979 - Great idea. - Yes. 294 00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:46,836 No! 295 00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:51,253 I... just don't want to be any trouble. 296 00:12:51,254 --> 00:12:52,422 (Sarcastically) Really? 297 00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,349 I mean, yeah, that's no trouble at all. 298 00:12:55,349 --> 00:12:57,378 Yeah, you girls run and have some fun. 299 00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:59,547 Maybe meet some boys. Come on, darling. 300 00:12:59,548 --> 00:13:01,043 You've been stuck in the woods of Vermont. 301 00:13:01,044 --> 00:13:03,368 When was the last time you went and got crazy? 302 00:13:03,369 --> 00:13:06,939 - (Danielle laughing) - (Gabi forces laugh) 303 00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:08,308 Okay, let's go. 304 00:13:13,813 --> 00:13:16,883 (Sighs) Okay, let's do this. 305 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:20,095 Oh my God! How did you make those pajamas? 306 00:13:20,096 --> 00:13:21,731 Did you skin an entire zoo? 307 00:13:23,076 --> 00:13:24,944 I like your pajamas, too. 308 00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,598 Did it come with Barbie, or was it sold separately? 309 00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:31,731 (Laughs) Which bed do you sleep in? 310 00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,365 That's Fluffykins' bed. 311 00:13:34,366 --> 00:13:37,002 He turns in late, after Law & Order. 312 00:13:38,796 --> 00:13:41,799 What are you doing? I need you in the bed, 313 00:13:41,799 --> 00:13:44,501 so I can simulate having a person next to me while I sleep. 314 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,570 I'm not simulating anything! 315 00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,439 You know what? Forget this whole thing. 316 00:13:48,439 --> 00:13:50,808 I got you tickets to Usher. We had a deal! 317 00:13:51,472 --> 00:13:54,441 Fine! But I'm building a pillow wall. 318 00:13:54,441 --> 00:13:57,478 (Scoffs) Getting into bed with a man and not touching him. 319 00:13:57,478 --> 00:13:59,546 It's like I'm married all over again. 320 00:14:06,408 --> 00:14:09,027 She was kissing her mother's boyfriend? 321 00:14:09,028 --> 00:14:11,440 Ooh! I saw this on a telenovela once. 322 00:14:11,441 --> 00:14:13,782 - Did she just come out of a coma? - Shh! 323 00:14:13,932 --> 00:14:15,079 I don't want her to hear. 324 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,937 Don't worry about it. She's in the shower. 325 00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,825 I mean, the whole way over here 326 00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:20,792 I was trying to convince her that if she went for Josh, 327 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,909 then she would ruin her relationship with her mother forever. 328 00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:23,995 And you know what she said? 329 00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:26,652 (Mimics) "Josh tastes like cotton candy!" 330 00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:30,412 I mean, she's here for two more days. 331 00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,014 - What am I gonna do? - Oh, no, no, you don't have two more days. 332 00:14:33,014 --> 00:14:35,517 That crazy bomb is ticking. You need to get rid of her now. 333 00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,304 Or... I mean, what if I pull out 334 00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:39,348 all the photo albums of me and my mother, I mean 335 00:14:39,349 --> 00:14:41,364 and show her what a real relationship looks like? 336 00:14:41,365 --> 00:14:43,538 I feel like that's what my mom's telling me to do. 337 00:14:43,539 --> 00:14:45,708 Really? Listen again. 338 00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:48,901 Because what I'm hearing is... 339 00:14:48,902 --> 00:14:50,499 "Drive that crazy bitch to the airport 340 00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:51,949 "and put her on a plane to Vermont." 341 00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:54,633 You know what? I think I'm gonna get out the photo albums, 342 00:14:54,634 --> 00:14:56,003 so when she gets out of the shower, then she's... 343 00:14:56,004 --> 00:14:56,978 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 344 00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,732 She's been in there for forever. 345 00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:00,801 She should've run out of hot water 20 minutes ago. 346 00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:03,668 Oh God! 347 00:15:04,305 --> 00:15:05,673 Oh God, oh God, oh God! 348 00:15:05,674 --> 00:15:06,709 - (Door opens) - (Gasps) 349 00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:08,111 Maybe my mom really was talking to you, 350 00:15:08,112 --> 00:15:10,147 because that crazy bitch climbed out the bathroom window! 351 00:15:10,148 --> 00:15:12,784 - (Gasps) - (Door opens, closes) 352 00:15:12,785 --> 00:15:14,587 Just like the telenovela. 353 00:15:22,248 --> 00:15:25,518 (Gasps) No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 354 00:15:25,518 --> 00:15:27,787 (Gasps) No! No! 355 00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:32,914 Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 356 00:15:33,007 --> 00:15:34,607 (Gasps) Danielle, stop! 357 00:15:34,608 --> 00:15:36,820 Just because you once had sex with Josh on a Ferris wheel 358 00:15:36,821 --> 00:15:39,381 doesn't mean you can sneak into be with him now! 359 00:15:39,382 --> 00:15:40,616 (Gasps) 360 00:15:43,808 --> 00:15:45,142 I can explain. 361 00:15:57,835 --> 00:16:01,048 I asked you not to fly Shauna's daughter out here, 362 00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:02,585 but you did. 363 00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:05,543 And no one was supposed to tell Shauna 364 00:16:05,543 --> 00:16:07,348 that I had sex with her daughter, 365 00:16:07,545 --> 00:16:08,746 but you did. 366 00:16:09,781 --> 00:16:11,055 Maybe it's gonna be okay. 367 00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:12,787 I mean, after she gets over her initial shock, 368 00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:15,425 - Shauna's gonna be fine. - (Suitcase rolls downstairs) 369 00:16:15,426 --> 00:16:18,362 Josh, these two weeks have been some of the best times I've ever had, 370 00:16:18,363 --> 00:16:22,034 and I never imagined it would come to such a humiliating end. Goodbye! 371 00:16:22,035 --> 00:16:23,504 Shauna, wait. (Sighs) 372 00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:26,682 Look... we all have pasts. 373 00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,652 The important thing is I wanna be with you. 374 00:16:28,676 --> 00:16:31,952 (Emphatically) No, you had sex 375 00:16:31,953 --> 00:16:33,955 with my daughter! 376 00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:35,690 What's that thing all the Americans say? 377 00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:37,560 Oh yeah. Eww! 378 00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:38,979 (Cellphone beeps) 379 00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,908 Oh, it's Danielle. 380 00:16:41,313 --> 00:16:43,625 "Mom, maple syrup emergency. Had to fly home. 381 00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:45,638 "So thrilled about you and Josh, and... 382 00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:48,517 "I loved seeing you so happy. Kiss, hug, Danielle." 383 00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:51,380 (Gasps) See? See? She chose you over Josh. 384 00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:53,083 I did the right thing. 385 00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:56,058 I guess, in a funny way, you did. 386 00:16:56,154 --> 00:16:57,656 Goodbye, Gabi. 387 00:16:58,760 --> 00:16:59,928 Goodbye, Josh. 388 00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:06,701 Uh! Hugs are for people who haven't slept with my daughter. 389 00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,066 Why? 390 00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:19,236 Why? Why? 391 00:17:19,236 --> 00:17:22,539 (Shouting) Why? Why? Why? 392 00:17:22,539 --> 00:17:25,681 Why? Why, why, why? Why? 393 00:17:25,682 --> 00:17:28,211 Why? You know what? Don't answer that question! 394 00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:29,279 Get out! 395 00:17:31,263 --> 00:17:32,864 - (Inhales sharply) - Out! 396 00:17:43,871 --> 00:17:45,942 Alan. 397 00:17:45,943 --> 00:17:47,861 I would say, "rise and shine," 398 00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:50,746 but it appears somebody already has. 399 00:17:51,366 --> 00:17:52,935 I'm not Alan, 400 00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:54,639 and that's one of my hair rollers! 401 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,823 Ah! Yolanda! 402 00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,182 You were supposed to be watching me, 403 00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:01,150 not getting your woman stink on me. 404 00:18:02,704 --> 00:18:05,574 I'm sorry! I closed my eyes for one second, 405 00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:09,144 next thing I know, I woke up spooning an Asian Danny Devito. 406 00:18:10,124 --> 00:18:12,493 Wait, so you slept the whole night? 407 00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,241 You didn't see me do anything? 408 00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:17,913 Oh, relax! We both slept through the night. 409 00:18:17,914 --> 00:18:20,198 What's the weirdest thing that could've happened? (Laughs) 410 00:18:23,572 --> 00:18:26,005 Wait. How did you get my... 411 00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:27,495 and how did you manage to put on... 412 00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:31,468 (Both screaming) 413 00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,037 (Knocks on door) 414 00:18:36,556 --> 00:18:37,623 (Gasps) 415 00:18:39,926 --> 00:18:43,029 Why are you here? That can't be good. 416 00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:44,464 Gabi, open the door. 417 00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,501 Okay, first, let me start by saying I'm really, really sorry 418 00:18:51,502 --> 00:18:53,951 about everything, and to make it up to you, I made your favorite dish. 419 00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:57,276 - Truffle mac and cheese? - Your second favorite dish. 420 00:18:58,915 --> 00:19:01,646 Sofia called me, and I know it was your mother's birthday this week. 421 00:19:02,478 --> 00:19:03,145 Oh. 422 00:19:03,146 --> 00:19:05,347 And I think that explains your behavior yesterday. 423 00:19:05,347 --> 00:19:07,249 Not every other day. 424 00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:11,220 I guess this time of year's really hard for me. 425 00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,622 I want you to know my door's always open if you need to talk. 426 00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:15,968 Not my bedroom door. 427 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,813 I mean, I guess after you said, "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?" 428 00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:23,935 You know, it really made me think, you know... "Why?" 429 00:19:26,112 --> 00:19:29,881 And I realized I was just trying to live vicariously through Danielle and Shauna. 430 00:19:29,931 --> 00:19:33,353 I thought maybe if I could get them back together, then... 431 00:19:33,353 --> 00:19:36,675 God, I would do anything to have one more moment with my mom. (Crying) 432 00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,519 I know... 433 00:19:38,299 --> 00:19:40,461 Which is why I'm giving you the rest of the week off 434 00:19:40,462 --> 00:19:42,231 and sending you and Sofia on a little trip. 435 00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:43,905 What? Where are we going? 436 00:19:43,925 --> 00:19:47,561 Let me... give you a little hint. 437 00:19:48,059 --> 00:19:50,003 Julia Child's kitchen in the Smithsonian? 438 00:19:50,018 --> 00:19:52,854 - My mom always wanted to take me here. - I know. 439 00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:55,043 Sofia already packed your bags. She's meeting us at the airport. 440 00:19:55,043 --> 00:19:57,310 Wait, wait, wait. I ruined your relationship, 441 00:19:57,311 --> 00:19:58,422 and you're sending me on a free trip? 442 00:19:58,423 --> 00:19:59,704 I should not have mentioned that. 443 00:20:01,814 --> 00:20:04,317 At least let me give you the chicken parm that I made you. 444 00:20:04,317 --> 00:20:07,286 Chicken parm? Not even top 10. 445 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,015 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 446 00:20:11,227 --> 00:20:12,862 One more thing. 447 00:20:13,907 --> 00:20:15,709 (Chuckles) 448 00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:16,844 Thank you. 449 00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,468 Elliot, I have something to tell you. 450 00:20:29,468 --> 00:20:30,073 What? 451 00:20:30,074 --> 00:20:32,304 I've been having a hard time sleeping next to you. 452 00:20:32,304 --> 00:20:34,607 I'm so worried that I might do something in my sleep 453 00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:36,075 and you won't think I'm sexy anymore. 454 00:20:36,075 --> 00:20:37,100 - What? - I know. 455 00:20:37,101 --> 00:20:39,578 With this moneymaker, that's crazy. But what if? 456 00:20:41,781 --> 00:20:43,282 You've been worried about that? 457 00:20:43,282 --> 00:20:45,079 I've been worried about the same thing! 458 00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,386 Oh please. You don't often worry. 459 00:20:49,088 --> 00:20:51,390 I don't? I was so worried, 460 00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:53,359 I paid Yolanda to watch me sleep. 461 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,728 That's so sweet! 462 00:20:55,728 --> 00:20:57,530 - Did you do anything weird? - No. 463 00:20:58,531 --> 00:21:01,433 This is crazy. Who cares what we do in our sleep? 464 00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:04,370 We can be ourselves. We love each other. 465 00:21:06,071 --> 00:21:10,476 - We do? - Well... I do. 466 00:21:13,279 --> 00:21:15,214 - I do too. - (Chuckles) 467 00:21:17,817 --> 00:21:20,820 Good, because I have sleep apnea. 468 00:21:24,356 --> 00:21:26,158 (Muffled) Good night, sweetheart. 469 00:21:27,393 --> 00:21:28,460 Night. 470 00:21:34,433 --> 00:21:36,435 Yay. 471 00:21:36,435 --> 00:21:39,338 (Machine hissing) 472 00:21:42,374 --> 00:21:44,343 Oh, who cares? 473 00:21:44,343 --> 00:21:46,445 Yay. 474 00:21:46,492 --> 00:21:49,267 Sync & corrections by PetaG - www.addic7ed.com - 475 00:21:49,317 --> 00:21:53,867 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35794

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