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1
00:00:00,169 --> 00:00:05,175
Mmm, now that was the best "I'm
sorry" calamari I've ever had
2
00:00:05,186 --> 00:00:05,906
(Sofia laughs)
3
00:00:05,930 --> 00:00:07,931
So, you forgive us for
totally screwing up your life?
4
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,300
Well, in a way, you two
girls did me a favor.
5
00:00:10,580 --> 00:00:13,070
Coleman got so mad about Dmitri,
6
00:00:13,104 --> 00:00:17,007
he wound up admitting he
did cheat with the waitress.
7
00:00:17,041 --> 00:00:19,143
And his hairdresser.
8
00:00:19,177 --> 00:00:21,912
And the dog walker.
9
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,480
We don't even have a dog!
10
00:00:23,498 --> 00:00:24,972
Ha!
11
00:00:24,973 --> 00:00:28,385
Okay, so what are we watching for
our first movie night, neighbor?
12
00:00:28,386 --> 00:00:31,542
I grabbed it from Josh's
office. It's a classic.
13
00:00:31,543 --> 00:00:34,311
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.
14
00:00:35,554 --> 00:00:37,489
(Seductive guitar music plays)
15
00:00:40,621 --> 00:00:42,174
I didn't know Keanu was black.
16
00:00:44,667 --> 00:00:46,173
Why is everybody naked?
17
00:00:46,902 --> 00:00:48,998
They are really steaming
up that phone booth.
18
00:00:50,839 --> 00:00:51,973
Gimme that remote.
19
00:00:53,709 --> 00:00:55,009
I gotta turn this up.
20
00:00:55,044 --> 00:00:56,811
(Laughing)
21
00:00:56,845 --> 00:00:59,647
(In Russian accent) We are bad girls!
22
00:01:06,231 --> 00:01:07,050
(Sniffs)
23
00:01:07,138 --> 00:01:08,839
What's that smell? Is it garbage day?
24
00:01:10,307 --> 00:01:12,610
No, I made breakfast.
25
00:01:14,178 --> 00:01:16,714
Oh! Did you make it with garbage?
26
00:01:17,964 --> 00:01:21,964
Since your mom passed away, I know
how hard it is for you on her birthday,
27
00:01:21,990 --> 00:01:25,794
so I made you a feast of eggs,
bacon and buttermilk pancakes!
28
00:01:26,126 --> 00:01:28,595
That is so sweet.
29
00:01:28,596 --> 00:01:30,298
Where are those things?
30
00:01:31,815 --> 00:01:34,117
Also, I put $20
31
00:01:34,117 --> 00:01:36,014
in the Julia Child Smithsonian trip jar
32
00:01:36,015 --> 00:01:37,629
- (gasps)
- And if someone would stop taking quarters
33
00:01:37,630 --> 00:01:38,567
out of the jar,
34
00:01:38,568 --> 00:01:40,005
we would finally be able to take that trip
35
00:01:40,006 --> 00:01:41,474
you and your mom always dreamed about.
36
00:01:41,475 --> 00:01:43,965
Aww. Oh! You hear that?
37
00:01:43,965 --> 00:01:46,067
Mom just said you're the best friend ever.
38
00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:48,459
Aww. Thank you, Mrs. Diamond.
39
00:01:48,460 --> 00:01:50,359
Oh! What was that now?
40
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,671
(Gasps) Breakfast should be your
most important meal of the day,
41
00:01:53,672 --> 00:01:55,370
not your last.
42
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,602
I think she's a smart lady.
43
00:01:59,836 --> 00:02:02,973
- Why don't I make you breakfast?
- Oh, good idea.
44
00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:05,075
Two organic eggs, toast,
bacon extra crispy,
45
00:02:05,075 --> 00:02:06,710
and tick-tock, 'cause I gotta get to work.
46
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:07,777
(Laughs)
47
00:02:07,777 --> 00:02:09,613
(Theme music playing)
48
00:02:14,359 --> 00:02:16,495
She's in the spotlight
49
00:02:16,495 --> 00:02:18,326
And she turned my head
50
00:02:18,327 --> 00:02:20,299
She'd run a red light
51
00:02:20,299 --> 00:02:22,234
Cos she's bad like that
52
00:02:22,234 --> 00:02:25,237
I like that ooh, baby, ooh, baby
53
00:02:25,237 --> 00:02:26,061
Baby
54
00:02:26,062 --> 00:02:28,292
I like that ooh, baby ooh, baby
55
00:02:28,293 --> 00:02:30,006
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
56
00:02:30,007 --> 00:02:32,242
Gabi! More coffee!
57
00:02:32,242 --> 00:02:33,557
I haven't slept in two days.
58
00:02:33,558 --> 00:02:36,046
Wow. Sounds like somebody's getting lucky.
59
00:02:36,046 --> 00:02:38,248
That puts the "nasty" in "doing the nasty."
60
00:02:41,018 --> 00:02:43,654
Sex with Alan is wild.
61
00:02:43,654 --> 00:02:45,489
I feel like Elliot,
62
00:02:45,489 --> 00:02:47,057
Queen of the Jungle.
63
00:02:48,265 --> 00:02:52,184
Last night we did it
in the craziest place...
64
00:02:53,764 --> 00:02:55,599
(Whispers) The bedroom floor.
65
00:02:56,767 --> 00:03:00,571
Oh please, I've done it on the
floor of Bed, Bath & Beyond.
66
00:03:01,567 --> 00:03:04,022
I went in with a 20% off coupon,
67
00:03:04,023 --> 00:03:06,459
and got 100% off.
68
00:03:08,528 --> 00:03:10,197
Hey! So...
69
00:03:10,197 --> 00:03:12,766
Before my amazing girlfriend
comes down, I need your help.
70
00:03:12,766 --> 00:03:14,090
Shauna is being honored
71
00:03:14,091 --> 00:03:15,983
by the San Francisco
Journalists Association,
72
00:03:15,984 --> 00:03:17,456
and I need to think of an awesome gift.
73
00:03:17,457 --> 00:03:19,239
Oh, and ah...
74
00:03:19,239 --> 00:03:20,539
Ferris wheel.
75
00:03:20,540 --> 00:03:21,752
(Mockingly) Oh, look at me.
76
00:03:21,753 --> 00:03:23,543
I'm rich. I can buy a Ferris wheel.
77
00:03:25,145 --> 00:03:27,614
I was talking about the
craziest place I ever had sex.
78
00:03:28,782 --> 00:03:30,116
In a Ferris wheel
79
00:03:30,116 --> 00:03:32,619
at a wedding with a carnival theme.
80
00:03:32,619 --> 00:03:33,653
Beat that.
81
00:03:33,653 --> 00:03:35,055
I can.
82
00:03:35,055 --> 00:03:37,023
My daughter's seventh birthday
83
00:03:37,023 --> 00:03:38,158
in the bouncy castle
84
00:03:38,158 --> 00:03:39,659
with the clown.
85
00:03:39,659 --> 00:03:41,114
It turns out noses aren't
86
00:03:41,115 --> 00:03:43,029
the only thing clowns like to honk.
87
00:03:44,189 --> 00:03:46,740
Ugh! Kids, clowns, hetero sex...
88
00:03:46,959 --> 00:03:48,034
there's nothing for me here.
89
00:03:50,103 --> 00:03:51,805
Umm...
90
00:03:51,805 --> 00:03:53,706
You have another kid...
91
00:03:53,706 --> 00:03:54,607
Besides Brett?
92
00:03:54,607 --> 00:03:56,776
Yeah, Danielle, she's 25.
93
00:03:56,776 --> 00:03:58,812
Wow. (Chuckles) Two kids.
94
00:03:58,812 --> 00:04:00,613
(Stammers) Is that it?
95
00:04:00,613 --> 00:04:03,181
I don't talk about Danielle that often.
96
00:04:03,182 --> 00:04:05,756
Unfortunately, we haven't spoken in years.
97
00:04:05,757 --> 00:04:07,868
What? A mother-daughter
not close? What happened?
98
00:04:07,869 --> 00:04:09,899
Gabi, sounds like it's
kind of a private thing.
99
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,724
(Whispers) Yeah, yeah,
that's why I'm asking.
100
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:13,624
It's okay, Josh.
101
00:04:13,625 --> 00:04:15,488
I was a child myself when I had her.
102
00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:18,057
And if I'm truthful, I think
we're just too much alike.
103
00:04:19,106 --> 00:04:22,058
- Now can we talk about breakfast?
- Yes. Would you like eggs?
104
00:04:22,059 --> 00:04:24,102
And do you at least send
each other Christmas cards?
105
00:04:24,659 --> 00:04:27,328
Well, I do. I just... I never get one back.
106
00:04:27,328 --> 00:04:28,930
Not even an e-card?
107
00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:30,667
But they're free.
108
00:04:31,599 --> 00:04:35,013
Last I heard, she was making
artisanal maple syrup in Vermont.
109
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,940
Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm off to go cry in my car.
110
00:04:37,941 --> 00:04:39,265
- Shauna!
- I'm just kidding.
111
00:04:39,266 --> 00:04:40,510
A driver's picking me up.
112
00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,281
I'm gonna cry in his car.
113
00:04:43,544 --> 00:04:45,424
- (Door opens, closes)
- Hey, you know what a
114
00:04:45,425 --> 00:04:46,900
great gift for Shauna would be?
115
00:04:46,901 --> 00:04:49,176
A therapist... thanks to you.
116
00:04:49,228 --> 00:04:51,390
No. Get her and her daughter back together.
117
00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:53,047
No, that's Shauna's personal business.
118
00:04:53,048 --> 00:04:54,535
- It's not my place to get involved.
- Yeah, that's why
119
00:04:54,536 --> 00:04:56,341
it would be such a great surprise...
she'd never see it coming.
120
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:59,273
Every mother and daughter want to
be close. Come on, Josh, trust me.
121
00:04:59,273 --> 00:05:01,448
(Laughs) Trust you? No.
122
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:02,484
- But...
- No!
123
00:05:02,485 --> 00:05:03,519
- Is that a firm...
- Yes!
124
00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:05,022
- So that's a yes!
- No!
125
00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,157
No!
126
00:05:06,158 --> 00:05:07,192
No.
127
00:05:07,193 --> 00:05:08,228
- Just...
- No.
128
00:05:08,229 --> 00:05:09,230
Okay.
129
00:05:13,907 --> 00:05:16,009
(Yelps) Oh my damn.
130
00:05:16,009 --> 00:05:17,544
A pig in a blanket.
131
00:05:18,534 --> 00:05:20,028
I don't know what happened.
132
00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:22,398
I came to get Josh's tux for the cleaner's,
133
00:05:22,399 --> 00:05:25,473
I smelled his pillow, and
the next thing I know...
134
00:05:25,474 --> 00:05:27,776
- Okay, night-night.
- Nuh-uh.
135
00:05:28,917 --> 00:05:31,535
Okay, baby, something
definitely isn't right.
136
00:05:31,536 --> 00:05:34,642
Come on. I don't usually put
you down for your nap until 4:00.
137
00:05:36,658 --> 00:05:40,273
I spent my first weekend at
Alan's place and couldn't sleep,
138
00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,538
'cause I was afraid I might
do something embarrassing.
139
00:05:42,582 --> 00:05:45,144
It can't be more embarrassing
than what you do when you're awake.
140
00:05:46,476 --> 00:05:47,844
Hey, I just got an idea.
141
00:05:47,844 --> 00:05:50,379
Can you come over to my
house and watch me sleep?
142
00:05:50,379 --> 00:05:52,381
I would, but the exorcist is on,
143
00:05:52,381 --> 00:05:54,750
and watching that sounds
a little less scary.
144
00:05:56,221 --> 00:05:58,172
I can get you front-row
seats to see Usher!
145
00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,147
I'm gonna need your address,
a key, and some holy water.
146
00:06:08,093 --> 00:06:10,411
Hey, Josh, I made you a little snack...
147
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:11,811
chicken and waffles.
148
00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,799
No thank you. I'm not hungry.
149
00:06:13,799 --> 00:06:16,368
"Where's the maple syrup," you say?
150
00:06:17,012 --> 00:06:18,380
I didn't say.
151
00:06:21,218 --> 00:06:22,252
What are you saying?
152
00:06:23,524 --> 00:06:26,105
I'm just saying the
syrup's on the way over...
153
00:06:26,106 --> 00:06:27,524
from Vermont.
154
00:06:28,596 --> 00:06:30,121
- You didn't.
- I did.
155
00:06:30,122 --> 00:06:32,153
I called Danielle, and she
really wants to see her mom.
156
00:06:32,154 --> 00:06:33,915
I know you told me not to, but
it was the right thing to do.
157
00:06:33,916 --> 00:06:35,641
- I had to!
- Gabi, call it off.
158
00:06:35,642 --> 00:06:37,510
- (Doorbell rings)
- Too late.
159
00:06:39,072 --> 00:06:41,050
Shauna, would you come down here, please?
160
00:06:41,051 --> 00:06:43,153
How dare you! I clearly said no.
161
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:44,935
There were no other words
surrounding it. One word. "No."
162
00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:46,697
What's all the commotion?
163
00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:48,052
Shauna, I want you to know
164
00:06:48,053 --> 00:06:50,523
- I had nothing to do with this.
- Ta-da!
165
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,747
Hi, Mom.
166
00:06:53,791 --> 00:06:57,041
(Gasps) Oh my God! Dani!
What are you doing here?
167
00:06:57,128 --> 00:06:59,216
Well, she flew all the
way across the country
168
00:06:59,217 --> 00:07:01,219
because she wanted to see you.
Isn't that right, Danielle?
169
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:02,429
When Gabi called me,
170
00:07:02,430 --> 00:07:04,424
- I jumped at the chance.
- And you wanna know why she
171
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:06,451
never sent you any
cards? Well, you tell her.
172
00:07:06,452 --> 00:07:09,088
- It's... it's just...
- She really needed her independence,
173
00:07:09,089 --> 00:07:12,793
you know, but now she
realizes that... you tell her.
174
00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:18,039
My life is nowhere near
as good without you in it.
175
00:07:18,039 --> 00:07:19,694
Can you ever forgive me?
176
00:07:19,695 --> 00:07:20,705
Can I?
177
00:07:22,037 --> 00:07:25,179
(Gasps) She can. She can.
178
00:07:27,401 --> 00:07:30,244
See, Josh? I told you
this would all work out.
179
00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:32,080
Now, if you wanna pay me
back for her plane ticket,
180
00:07:32,081 --> 00:07:34,884
- that would be really great.
- Not cool.
181
00:07:34,885 --> 00:07:37,163
This is totally not
cool. This is a disaster.
182
00:07:37,164 --> 00:07:38,867
Seriously? Are you seeing what I'm seeing?
183
00:07:38,868 --> 00:07:41,617
Because what I'm seeing is a
beautiful mother-daughter reunion
184
00:07:41,618 --> 00:07:42,919
happening right in front of us.
185
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,832
What could possibly be
wrong with this picture?
186
00:07:44,833 --> 00:07:46,701
- That's Ferris wheel girl!
- (Gasps)
187
00:07:51,841 --> 00:07:53,543
Are you sure that's Ferris wheel girl?
188
00:07:53,543 --> 00:07:55,345
I mean, it was years ago in the dark.
189
00:07:55,345 --> 00:07:57,313
Dark? She was all lit up.
190
00:07:57,313 --> 00:07:58,715
Her body was red, then blue,
191
00:07:58,715 --> 00:08:01,351
then yellow... then red again.
192
00:08:02,585 --> 00:08:06,289
- Well, maybe she won't remember you.
- Come on, Gabi. It's me!
193
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:10,272
Josh, I'm so excited to say this,
194
00:08:10,273 --> 00:08:12,242
meet my daughter Danielle.
195
00:08:12,316 --> 00:08:14,451
(Haltingly) Hi, I'm Josh.
196
00:08:15,139 --> 00:08:16,841
Hey, nice to meet you.
197
00:08:18,488 --> 00:08:20,656
(Haltingly) Nice to meet you, too.
198
00:08:21,685 --> 00:08:25,489
- Well, this calls for champagne.
- Great idea!
199
00:08:25,490 --> 00:08:28,339
- (Cellphone rings)
- Oh! I'm sorry, Dani.
200
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:31,661
It's Anderson Cooper. He gets real whiny
if you don't pick up. I'll be right back.
201
00:08:34,273 --> 00:08:37,076
So... maple syrup, huh?
202
00:08:37,077 --> 00:08:39,412
Yeah, it's kinda random, but it suits me.
203
00:08:39,413 --> 00:08:42,250
(Chuckling) Vermont!
204
00:08:43,271 --> 00:08:46,274
Pretty cold there. Gets kind
of cold there in the winter.
205
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:50,245
Yeah. Way to cold to have
sex on a Ferris wheel.
206
00:08:50,246 --> 00:08:52,394
I knew it! I knew you remembered me!
207
00:08:52,395 --> 00:08:54,306
Yeah, who could forget?
I mean you were red,
208
00:08:54,307 --> 00:08:57,116
and then blue, and then
yellow, and then red again.
209
00:08:58,363 --> 00:09:01,299
- Champagne is served.
- It's her. I told you.
210
00:09:01,299 --> 00:09:03,383
You're Ferris wheel girl?
211
00:09:03,384 --> 00:09:04,852
Damn it!
212
00:09:04,853 --> 00:09:06,152
Do you see what you did?
213
00:09:06,153 --> 00:09:08,536
Do you see what you did when you
did the thing I told you not to do?
214
00:09:08,537 --> 00:09:10,223
Well, if you didn't do the thing
that you shouldn't have done, then
215
00:09:10,224 --> 00:09:12,668
the thing I did would've been
the thing that I should've done!
216
00:09:13,681 --> 00:09:17,151
- So what are we gonna do?
- Okay, everybody just shut up, all right?
217
00:09:17,151 --> 00:09:18,920
This is a very precious day.
218
00:09:20,855 --> 00:09:22,190
You know what you did to him.
219
00:09:22,190 --> 00:09:24,334
He knows what he did to
you. The important thing is
220
00:09:24,335 --> 00:09:27,729
your mother can never find
out what you did to each other.
221
00:09:28,731 --> 00:09:30,433
You want me to lie to Shauna?
222
00:09:30,434 --> 00:09:32,536
That puts me in a very
uncomfortable position.
223
00:09:32,537 --> 00:09:35,186
Oh, really? Well, it can't
be any more uncomfortable
224
00:09:35,187 --> 00:09:37,422
than the position you guys
were in on the Ferris wheel!
225
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,232
(Laughter)
226
00:09:44,232 --> 00:09:47,168
Gabi, this dinner was absolutely delicious.
227
00:09:47,168 --> 00:09:49,137
And completely uneventful.
228
00:09:49,137 --> 00:09:50,387
- Mmm.
- Mom, do you realize
229
00:09:50,388 --> 00:09:53,491
this is the first dinner we've
had together in three years?
230
00:09:53,492 --> 00:09:56,362
- To making up for lost time.
- Cheers!
231
00:09:56,363 --> 00:09:58,105
Well, get ready, 'cause now it's time
232
00:09:58,106 --> 00:10:00,601
for the first dessert you've
had together in three years.
233
00:10:00,602 --> 00:10:02,911
I'm so happy. (Giggles)
234
00:10:02,912 --> 00:10:04,573
Oh, don't worry, Shauna. I've got it.
235
00:10:04,574 --> 00:10:07,343
I insist. You've done so much for me.
236
00:10:07,344 --> 00:10:08,546
Thanks.
237
00:10:10,140 --> 00:10:11,675
I mean, this is a miracle.
238
00:10:11,675 --> 00:10:13,286
- Things are going great.
- I know.
239
00:10:13,287 --> 00:10:15,845
- She doesn't have a clue.
- Well, thank God.
240
00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:18,815
- I really like your mom.
- Yeah, she's great.
241
00:10:18,815 --> 00:10:20,784
I love her... so much,
242
00:10:20,784 --> 00:10:22,808
- and you know what?
- What?
243
00:10:22,809 --> 00:10:25,678
- I love you, too.
- (Choking)
244
00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:27,878
I've thought about you every single night
245
00:10:27,879 --> 00:10:30,109
since we made love on that Ferris wheel.
246
00:10:30,110 --> 00:10:32,625
It just keeps going round
and round in my mind,
247
00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,682
- like a...
- I don't know... Ferris wheel?
248
00:10:35,653 --> 00:10:38,584
Yes! That's it! (Laughs)
249
00:10:38,659 --> 00:10:41,034
I mean, you totally get me,
250
00:10:41,035 --> 00:10:42,702
and now here I am,
251
00:10:42,703 --> 00:10:46,944
sitting next to you. It's like... destiny!
252
00:10:48,488 --> 00:10:51,876
- Who's ready for dessert on the terrace?
- I am, Mommy!
253
00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:54,278
Oh, and can you make some hot cocoa?
254
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:57,348
- Anything for you, darling.
- (Giggles)
255
00:10:57,348 --> 00:10:59,784
I thought she'd never leave.
256
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,290
What is wrong with you?
You're acting crazy!
257
00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,212
No, I am not.
258
00:11:04,250 --> 00:11:06,151
I just wanna bite your neck!
259
00:11:06,152 --> 00:11:08,074
- (Grunts, giggles)
- I'll be outside!
260
00:11:08,075 --> 00:11:11,912
- We'll be outside!
- Perfect timing. I've got the dessert.
261
00:11:14,226 --> 00:11:17,062
(Chuckles) Gabi, we have a problem.
262
00:11:17,517 --> 00:11:20,053
- Danielle's in love with me.
- What? Why would you think that?
263
00:11:20,323 --> 00:11:22,725
She said, "I love you," she's
never stopped loving me...
264
00:11:22,726 --> 00:11:26,495
- (Mimics) She wants to bite my neck.
- I see what's going on here.
265
00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:28,313
You're just upset because
I went against your wishes,
266
00:11:28,314 --> 00:11:31,017
it all worked out, and you can't stand it.
267
00:11:31,276 --> 00:11:33,965
Gabi, is the water warm
yet for Danielle's cocoa?
268
00:11:33,966 --> 00:11:35,435
Everything's ready to go.
269
00:11:36,207 --> 00:11:37,655
Here you go.
270
00:11:37,885 --> 00:11:39,686
Go! Go!
271
00:11:41,884 --> 00:11:43,486
(Giggles)
272
00:11:44,634 --> 00:11:46,169
Oh, you forgot the marshmallows.
273
00:11:46,169 --> 00:11:48,605
No, no, no, no. Don't go.
274
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,527
(Giggles) Hi.
275
00:11:54,878 --> 00:11:57,247
Okay, look, this has to stop.
276
00:11:57,247 --> 00:11:59,249
You're right. No, you're right.
277
00:11:59,249 --> 00:12:01,918
I-I came here to fix my
relationship with my mother,
278
00:12:01,918 --> 00:12:04,287
so this can't happen.
279
00:12:04,287 --> 00:12:07,257
- Thank you.
- But this can.
280
00:12:09,071 --> 00:12:10,227
(Gasps) Oh God!
281
00:12:10,228 --> 00:12:12,203
I'm just so happy
282
00:12:12,204 --> 00:12:14,696
that you and Danielle are back together!
283
00:12:15,691 --> 00:12:19,461
Me too. You're smushing
the marshmallows, darling.
284
00:12:19,542 --> 00:12:21,744
Oh, the actual marshmallows. (Chuckles)
285
00:12:24,118 --> 00:12:26,499
- Hey, you found the marshmallows.
- (Giggles)
286
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:28,049
- Awesome.
- (Mouths)
287
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:31,675
I just noticed the time. I've got to get
down to the studio. I'm on air tonight.
288
00:12:31,769 --> 00:12:34,290
Josh, I trust you'll entertain
my daughter while I'm out.
289
00:12:34,291 --> 00:12:35,022
(Forcefully) No!
290
00:12:35,835 --> 00:12:38,471
I mean... Gabi?
291
00:12:38,472 --> 00:12:41,554
Uh, ah , I was thinking,
since you have to work,
292
00:12:41,555 --> 00:12:44,436
maybe Danielle should come with
me and spend the night at my place.
293
00:12:44,437 --> 00:12:45,979
- Great idea.
- Yes.
294
00:12:45,980 --> 00:12:46,836
No!
295
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:51,253
I... just don't want to be any trouble.
296
00:12:51,254 --> 00:12:52,422
(Sarcastically) Really?
297
00:12:53,147 --> 00:12:55,349
I mean, yeah, that's no trouble at all.
298
00:12:55,349 --> 00:12:57,378
Yeah, you girls run and have some fun.
299
00:12:57,379 --> 00:12:59,547
Maybe meet some boys. Come on, darling.
300
00:12:59,548 --> 00:13:01,043
You've been stuck in the woods of Vermont.
301
00:13:01,044 --> 00:13:03,368
When was the last time
you went and got crazy?
302
00:13:03,369 --> 00:13:06,939
- (Danielle laughing)
- (Gabi forces laugh)
303
00:13:06,940 --> 00:13:08,308
Okay, let's go.
304
00:13:13,813 --> 00:13:16,883
(Sighs) Okay, let's do this.
305
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:20,095
Oh my God! How did you make those pajamas?
306
00:13:20,096 --> 00:13:21,731
Did you skin an entire zoo?
307
00:13:23,076 --> 00:13:24,944
I like your pajamas, too.
308
00:13:25,095 --> 00:13:27,598
Did it come with Barbie,
or was it sold separately?
309
00:13:28,762 --> 00:13:31,731
(Laughs) Which bed do you sleep in?
310
00:13:32,397 --> 00:13:34,365
That's Fluffykins' bed.
311
00:13:34,366 --> 00:13:37,002
He turns in late, after Law & Order.
312
00:13:38,796 --> 00:13:41,799
What are you doing? I need you in the bed,
313
00:13:41,799 --> 00:13:44,501
so I can simulate having a
person next to me while I sleep.
314
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,570
I'm not simulating anything!
315
00:13:46,570 --> 00:13:48,439
You know what? Forget this whole thing.
316
00:13:48,439 --> 00:13:50,808
I got you tickets to Usher. We had a deal!
317
00:13:51,472 --> 00:13:54,441
Fine! But I'm building a pillow wall.
318
00:13:54,441 --> 00:13:57,478
(Scoffs) Getting into bed with
a man and not touching him.
319
00:13:57,478 --> 00:13:59,546
It's like I'm married all over again.
320
00:14:06,408 --> 00:14:09,027
She was kissing her mother's boyfriend?
321
00:14:09,028 --> 00:14:11,440
Ooh! I saw this on a telenovela once.
322
00:14:11,441 --> 00:14:13,782
- Did she just come out of a coma?
- Shh!
323
00:14:13,932 --> 00:14:15,079
I don't want her to hear.
324
00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:16,937
Don't worry about it. She's in the shower.
325
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,825
I mean, the whole way over here
326
00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:20,792
I was trying to convince her
that if she went for Josh,
327
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,909
then she would ruin her
relationship with her mother forever.
328
00:14:22,910 --> 00:14:23,995
And you know what she said?
329
00:14:23,996 --> 00:14:26,652
(Mimics) "Josh tastes like cotton candy!"
330
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:30,412
I mean, she's here for two more days.
331
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:33,014
- What am I gonna do?
- Oh, no, no, you don't have two more days.
332
00:14:33,014 --> 00:14:35,517
That crazy bomb is ticking.
You need to get rid of her now.
333
00:14:35,642 --> 00:14:37,304
Or... I mean, what if I pull out
334
00:14:37,305 --> 00:14:39,348
all the photo albums of
me and my mother, I mean
335
00:14:39,349 --> 00:14:41,364
and show her what a real
relationship looks like?
336
00:14:41,365 --> 00:14:43,538
I feel like that's what
my mom's telling me to do.
337
00:14:43,539 --> 00:14:45,708
Really? Listen again.
338
00:14:46,799 --> 00:14:48,901
Because what I'm hearing is...
339
00:14:48,902 --> 00:14:50,499
"Drive that crazy bitch to the airport
340
00:14:50,500 --> 00:14:51,949
"and put her on a plane to Vermont."
341
00:14:52,297 --> 00:14:54,633
You know what? I think I'm
gonna get out the photo albums,
342
00:14:54,634 --> 00:14:56,003
so when she gets out of
the shower, then she's...
343
00:14:56,004 --> 00:14:56,978
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
344
00:14:56,979 --> 00:14:58,732
She's been in there for forever.
345
00:14:58,733 --> 00:15:00,801
She should've run out of
hot water 20 minutes ago.
346
00:15:02,667 --> 00:15:03,668
Oh God!
347
00:15:04,305 --> 00:15:05,673
Oh God, oh God, oh God!
348
00:15:05,674 --> 00:15:06,709
- (Door opens)
- (Gasps)
349
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:08,111
Maybe my mom really was talking to you,
350
00:15:08,112 --> 00:15:10,147
because that crazy bitch
climbed out the bathroom window!
351
00:15:10,148 --> 00:15:12,784
- (Gasps)
- (Door opens, closes)
352
00:15:12,785 --> 00:15:14,587
Just like the telenovela.
353
00:15:22,248 --> 00:15:25,518
(Gasps) No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
354
00:15:25,518 --> 00:15:27,787
(Gasps) No! No!
355
00:15:29,989 --> 00:15:32,914
Oh no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
356
00:15:33,007 --> 00:15:34,607
(Gasps) Danielle, stop!
357
00:15:34,608 --> 00:15:36,820
Just because you once had sex
with Josh on a Ferris wheel
358
00:15:36,821 --> 00:15:39,381
doesn't mean you can
sneak into be with him now!
359
00:15:39,382 --> 00:15:40,616
(Gasps)
360
00:15:43,808 --> 00:15:45,142
I can explain.
361
00:15:57,835 --> 00:16:01,048
I asked you not to fly
Shauna's daughter out here,
362
00:16:01,551 --> 00:16:02,585
but you did.
363
00:16:03,674 --> 00:16:05,543
And no one was supposed to tell Shauna
364
00:16:05,543 --> 00:16:07,348
that I had sex with her daughter,
365
00:16:07,545 --> 00:16:08,746
but you did.
366
00:16:09,781 --> 00:16:11,055
Maybe it's gonna be okay.
367
00:16:11,056 --> 00:16:12,787
I mean, after she gets
over her initial shock,
368
00:16:12,788 --> 00:16:15,425
- Shauna's gonna be fine.
- (Suitcase rolls downstairs)
369
00:16:15,426 --> 00:16:18,362
Josh, these two weeks have been
some of the best times I've ever had,
370
00:16:18,363 --> 00:16:22,034
and I never imagined it would come
to such a humiliating end. Goodbye!
371
00:16:22,035 --> 00:16:23,504
Shauna, wait. (Sighs)
372
00:16:23,613 --> 00:16:26,682
Look... we all have pasts.
373
00:16:26,683 --> 00:16:28,652
The important thing is I wanna be with you.
374
00:16:28,676 --> 00:16:31,952
(Emphatically) No, you had sex
375
00:16:31,953 --> 00:16:33,955
with my daughter!
376
00:16:34,007 --> 00:16:35,690
What's that thing all the Americans say?
377
00:16:35,691 --> 00:16:37,560
Oh yeah. Eww!
378
00:16:37,632 --> 00:16:38,979
(Cellphone beeps)
379
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:40,908
Oh, it's Danielle.
380
00:16:41,313 --> 00:16:43,625
"Mom, maple syrup
emergency. Had to fly home.
381
00:16:43,626 --> 00:16:45,638
"So thrilled about you and Josh, and...
382
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:48,517
"I loved seeing you so
happy. Kiss, hug, Danielle."
383
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:51,380
(Gasps) See? See? She chose you over Josh.
384
00:16:51,381 --> 00:16:53,083
I did the right thing.
385
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:56,058
I guess, in a funny way, you did.
386
00:16:56,154 --> 00:16:57,656
Goodbye, Gabi.
387
00:16:58,760 --> 00:16:59,928
Goodbye, Josh.
388
00:17:02,096 --> 00:17:06,701
Uh! Hugs are for people who
haven't slept with my daughter.
389
00:17:14,665 --> 00:17:16,066
Why?
390
00:17:17,234 --> 00:17:19,236
Why? Why?
391
00:17:19,236 --> 00:17:22,539
(Shouting) Why? Why? Why?
392
00:17:22,539 --> 00:17:25,681
Why? Why, why, why? Why?
393
00:17:25,682 --> 00:17:28,211
Why? You know what? Don't
answer that question!
394
00:17:28,211 --> 00:17:29,279
Get out!
395
00:17:31,263 --> 00:17:32,864
- (Inhales sharply)
- Out!
396
00:17:43,871 --> 00:17:45,942
Alan.
397
00:17:45,943 --> 00:17:47,861
I would say, "rise and shine,"
398
00:17:47,862 --> 00:17:50,746
but it appears somebody already has.
399
00:17:51,366 --> 00:17:52,935
I'm not Alan,
400
00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:54,639
and that's one of my hair rollers!
401
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,823
Ah! Yolanda!
402
00:17:57,846 --> 00:17:59,182
You were supposed to be watching me,
403
00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:01,150
not getting your woman stink on me.
404
00:18:02,704 --> 00:18:05,574
I'm sorry! I closed my eyes for one second,
405
00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:09,144
next thing I know, I woke up
spooning an Asian Danny Devito.
406
00:18:10,124 --> 00:18:12,493
Wait, so you slept the whole night?
407
00:18:12,540 --> 00:18:14,241
You didn't see me do anything?
408
00:18:14,242 --> 00:18:17,913
Oh, relax! We both slept through the night.
409
00:18:17,914 --> 00:18:20,198
What's the weirdest thing that
could've happened? (Laughs)
410
00:18:23,572 --> 00:18:26,005
Wait. How did you get my...
411
00:18:26,006 --> 00:18:27,495
and how did you manage to put on...
412
00:18:28,481 --> 00:18:31,468
(Both screaming)
413
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:35,037
(Knocks on door)
414
00:18:36,556 --> 00:18:37,623
(Gasps)
415
00:18:39,926 --> 00:18:43,029
Why are you here? That can't be good.
416
00:18:43,029 --> 00:18:44,464
Gabi, open the door.
417
00:18:48,388 --> 00:18:51,501
Okay, first, let me start by
saying I'm really, really sorry
418
00:18:51,502 --> 00:18:53,951
about everything, and to make it up
to you, I made your favorite dish.
419
00:18:53,952 --> 00:18:57,276
- Truffle mac and cheese?
- Your second favorite dish.
420
00:18:58,915 --> 00:19:01,646
Sofia called me, and I know it was
your mother's birthday this week.
421
00:19:02,478 --> 00:19:03,145
Oh.
422
00:19:03,146 --> 00:19:05,347
And I think that explains
your behavior yesterday.
423
00:19:05,347 --> 00:19:07,249
Not every other day.
424
00:19:08,584 --> 00:19:11,220
I guess this time of
year's really hard for me.
425
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:13,622
I want you to know my door's
always open if you need to talk.
426
00:19:14,433 --> 00:19:15,968
Not my bedroom door.
427
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:20,813
I mean, I guess after you
said, "Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?"
428
00:19:20,814 --> 00:19:23,935
You know, it really made
me think, you know... "Why?"
429
00:19:26,112 --> 00:19:29,881
And I realized I was just trying to live
vicariously through Danielle and Shauna.
430
00:19:29,931 --> 00:19:33,353
I thought maybe if I could
get them back together, then...
431
00:19:33,353 --> 00:19:36,675
God, I would do anything to have
one more moment with my mom. (Crying)
432
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:37,519
I know...
433
00:19:38,299 --> 00:19:40,461
Which is why I'm giving
you the rest of the week off
434
00:19:40,462 --> 00:19:42,231
and sending you and Sofia on a little trip.
435
00:19:42,270 --> 00:19:43,905
What? Where are we going?
436
00:19:43,925 --> 00:19:47,561
Let me... give you a little hint.
437
00:19:48,059 --> 00:19:50,003
Julia Child's kitchen in the Smithsonian?
438
00:19:50,018 --> 00:19:52,854
- My mom always wanted to take me here.
- I know.
439
00:19:53,041 --> 00:19:55,043
Sofia already packed your bags.
She's meeting us at the airport.
440
00:19:55,043 --> 00:19:57,310
Wait, wait, wait. I
ruined your relationship,
441
00:19:57,311 --> 00:19:58,422
and you're sending me on a free trip?
442
00:19:58,423 --> 00:19:59,704
I should not have mentioned that.
443
00:20:01,814 --> 00:20:04,317
At least let me give you the
chicken parm that I made you.
444
00:20:04,317 --> 00:20:07,286
Chicken parm? Not even top 10.
445
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,015
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
446
00:20:11,227 --> 00:20:12,862
One more thing.
447
00:20:13,907 --> 00:20:15,709
(Chuckles)
448
00:20:15,710 --> 00:20:16,844
Thank you.
449
00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:29,468
Elliot, I have something to tell you.
450
00:20:29,468 --> 00:20:30,073
What?
451
00:20:30,074 --> 00:20:32,304
I've been having a hard
time sleeping next to you.
452
00:20:32,304 --> 00:20:34,607
I'm so worried that I might
do something in my sleep
453
00:20:34,607 --> 00:20:36,075
and you won't think I'm sexy anymore.
454
00:20:36,075 --> 00:20:37,100
- What?
- I know.
455
00:20:37,101 --> 00:20:39,578
With this moneymaker,
that's crazy. But what if?
456
00:20:41,781 --> 00:20:43,282
You've been worried about that?
457
00:20:43,282 --> 00:20:45,079
I've been worried about the same thing!
458
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:47,386
Oh please. You don't often worry.
459
00:20:49,088 --> 00:20:51,390
I don't? I was so worried,
460
00:20:51,390 --> 00:20:53,359
I paid Yolanda to watch me sleep.
461
00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:55,728
That's so sweet!
462
00:20:55,728 --> 00:20:57,530
- Did you do anything weird?
- No.
463
00:20:58,531 --> 00:21:01,433
This is crazy. Who cares
what we do in our sleep?
464
00:21:01,433 --> 00:21:04,370
We can be ourselves. We love each other.
465
00:21:06,071 --> 00:21:10,476
- We do?
- Well... I do.
466
00:21:13,279 --> 00:21:15,214
- I do too.
- (Chuckles)
467
00:21:17,817 --> 00:21:20,820
Good, because I have sleep apnea.
468
00:21:24,356 --> 00:21:26,158
(Muffled) Good night, sweetheart.
469
00:21:27,393 --> 00:21:28,460
Night.
470
00:21:34,433 --> 00:21:36,435
Yay.
471
00:21:36,435 --> 00:21:39,338
(Machine hissing)
472
00:21:42,374 --> 00:21:44,343
Oh, who cares?
473
00:21:44,343 --> 00:21:46,445
Yay.
474
00:21:46,492 --> 00:21:49,267
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00:21:49,317 --> 00:21:53,867
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