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1
00:00:07,859 --> 00:00:09,550
Oh, sorry. I'll make some
more coffee right now.
2
00:00:09,551 --> 00:00:11,319
No worries. I'll do it.
3
00:00:12,130 --> 00:00:14,031
'Cause you don't want my
grubby peasant hands on it?
4
00:00:14,066 --> 00:00:16,634
No, silly Billy.
5
00:00:16,668 --> 00:00:18,636
I can do it myself. Boop.
6
00:00:20,741 --> 00:00:22,642
Okay, I'm still in bed dreaming,
and I'm gonna be late for work.
7
00:00:22,676 --> 00:00:24,377
(Laughs)
8
00:00:24,411 --> 00:00:25,862
Elliot, you're in a pretty good mood,
9
00:00:25,863 --> 00:00:27,380
considering your big 4-0 is tomorrow.
10
00:00:27,414 --> 00:00:29,215
I thought you might be freaking out.
11
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:31,625
More like getting my freak on.
12
00:00:32,890 --> 00:00:34,269
With Andre.
13
00:00:35,495 --> 00:00:38,897
This is the first time I've ever
had a boyfriend on my birthday.
14
00:00:38,932 --> 00:00:41,033
39 years of sorrow,
15
00:00:41,067 --> 00:00:43,802
and I finally get to celebrate my birthday
16
00:00:43,837 --> 00:00:45,537
in my birthday suit.
17
00:00:48,408 --> 00:00:50,509
Oh my God, I love Elliot with a boyfriend.
18
00:00:50,543 --> 00:00:52,344
When he's happy, I'm happy.
19
00:00:52,378 --> 00:00:54,379
And maybe we'll even be
friends, which would be great,
20
00:00:54,414 --> 00:00:56,003
because friends don't tell friends
21
00:00:56,004 --> 00:00:57,553
they look like dime store hookers.
22
00:00:59,185 --> 00:01:01,987
Friends say, "Hey, you
look cute in that dress."
23
00:01:02,021 --> 00:01:03,755
Hey, cute dress.
24
00:01:05,024 --> 00:01:07,173
Okay, that's it. We've got
to keep this love train going.
25
00:01:07,174 --> 00:01:08,594
I'm calling Andre. Elliot's about to have
26
00:01:08,628 --> 00:01:10,279
the most romantic birthday dinner ever.
27
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:12,598
That's a pretty good idea.
28
00:01:12,632 --> 00:01:14,466
Too bad it's not gonna top my present.
29
00:01:14,501 --> 00:01:15,815
Because I make the most money here,
30
00:01:15,816 --> 00:01:18,110
and I was called a creative
genius by a top publication.
31
00:01:19,372 --> 00:01:21,173
Oh, was it bragging monthly?
32
00:01:22,362 --> 00:01:24,687
What's that? You want to see
what it is? Okay, I'll get it.
33
00:01:26,946 --> 00:01:29,715
Hi, can I speak to Andre
of flowers by Andre?
34
00:01:29,749 --> 00:01:31,984
Hey, Andre, it's Gabi.
35
00:01:32,967 --> 00:01:34,968
Yes, the annoying blonde cook.
36
00:01:35,555 --> 00:01:38,491
Listen, I'm surprising
Elliot for his 40th birthday
37
00:01:38,492 --> 00:01:41,360
with a romantic dinner, and
obviously I want you to be his date.
38
00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:43,559
Okay, great. Check your
schedule, get back to me.
39
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,396
What?
40
00:01:44,430 --> 00:01:45,792
- Schwah!
- (Gasps)
41
00:01:48,134 --> 00:01:49,564
Oh my God.
42
00:01:49,565 --> 00:01:53,038
- Elliot and Andre. That's so cute.
- Yep
43
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:55,774
I bet this makes you feel
pretty lousy about your gift.
44
00:01:55,808 --> 00:01:57,743
Elliot: Oh my God!
45
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,483
Andre just found out I'm turning 40
instead of 32 and broke up with me.
46
00:02:04,747 --> 00:02:05,814
Both: What?
47
00:02:06,049 --> 00:02:08,951
This is officially the worst birthday ever!
48
00:02:10,523 --> 00:02:12,391
Oh my God!
49
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:16,395
(Theme music playing)
50
00:02:16,396 --> 00:02:20,210
Sync & corrections by PetaG
- www.addic7ed.com -
51
00:02:20,211 --> 00:02:22,367
She in the spotlight
52
00:02:22,402 --> 00:02:24,220
And she turn her head
53
00:02:24,221 --> 00:02:26,189
She run a red light
54
00:02:26,190 --> 00:02:28,058
'Cause she bad like that
55
00:02:28,059 --> 00:02:31,724
I like that, "ooh, baby,ooh, baby, baby"
56
00:02:31,730 --> 00:02:34,446
I like that, "ooh,
baby, ooh, baby"
57
00:02:34,480 --> 00:02:36,348
Don't worry, Elliot.
58
00:02:36,382 --> 00:02:38,007
Andre's not the last guy you'll ever date.
59
00:02:38,008 --> 00:02:38,795
Yeah.
60
00:02:38,907 --> 00:02:40,708
I'm sure you'll get dumped by tons of guys.
61
00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:44,323
I've only ever loved three men in my life.
62
00:02:44,357 --> 00:02:47,253
Andre, my college crush Alan,
63
00:02:47,254 --> 00:02:48,493
and Adam Levine.
64
00:02:49,762 --> 00:02:51,496
And I know it sounds crazy,
65
00:02:51,531 --> 00:02:53,465
but Andre's the only one who loved me back.
66
00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:56,268
(Phone chirps)
67
00:03:00,340 --> 00:03:01,607
Hey...
68
00:03:02,642 --> 00:03:05,243
I know this might not be the
best time to bring this up,
69
00:03:05,278 --> 00:03:08,639
but the guys from Wired are coming
to photograph my desk tomorrow
70
00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:10,415
for the desk for success column.
71
00:03:10,450 --> 00:03:11,918
Are we ready?
72
00:03:13,586 --> 00:03:15,554
- No.
- So...
73
00:03:15,588 --> 00:03:17,689
And I mean this in the nicest possible way,
74
00:03:17,724 --> 00:03:19,658
when do you think we'll be ready?
75
00:03:20,746 --> 00:03:23,180
How about when someone loves me again?
76
00:03:23,181 --> 00:03:24,563
So never!
77
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:30,235
Good morning, beautiful people!
78
00:03:31,270 --> 00:03:32,638
(Clears throat loudly)
79
00:03:32,672 --> 00:03:35,894
I said what a good morning it is.
80
00:03:38,019 --> 00:03:40,379
Andre broke up with Elliot
because he's turning 40.
81
00:03:41,681 --> 00:03:43,705
Out of all the reasons,
that's what he picked?
82
00:03:45,618 --> 00:03:48,253
Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
83
00:03:48,287 --> 00:03:50,834
You want to hear a story
about somebody else's pain?
84
00:03:51,109 --> 00:03:52,698
That always cheers you up.
85
00:03:54,527 --> 00:03:56,428
My ex-husband Coleman,
86
00:03:56,462 --> 00:03:58,330
who dumped me for a younger woman,
87
00:03:58,364 --> 00:04:00,440
just got dumped by a younger woman...
88
00:04:01,501 --> 00:04:03,468
At the altar. Uh!
89
00:04:05,438 --> 00:04:07,506
At least he got to the altar.
90
00:04:07,540 --> 00:04:10,059
How did Andre find out my real age anyway?
91
00:04:10,060 --> 00:04:11,785
The only people who knew were you three.
92
00:04:12,512 --> 00:04:13,512
Which one of you told him?
93
00:04:13,546 --> 00:04:14,546
Not me.
94
00:04:14,580 --> 00:04:15,986
I thought you were 50.
95
00:04:19,318 --> 00:04:21,253
I am so sorry. It was me.
96
00:04:21,287 --> 00:04:22,764
Oh my God, it was you!
97
00:04:24,390 --> 00:04:26,291
Listen, Elliot, I'm really sorry.
98
00:04:26,292 --> 00:04:27,742
I was just trying to do
something nice for you.
99
00:04:27,743 --> 00:04:30,128
It was gonna be a surprise.
We were gonna be friends.
100
00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:32,197
Well, you ruined that, didn't you?
101
00:04:32,231 --> 00:04:34,132
I will never forgive you, Gabi Diamond!
102
00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:37,531
He just needs some time.
103
00:04:37,575 --> 00:04:38,800
Elliot: Never!
104
00:04:44,010 --> 00:04:45,711
How you doin'?
105
00:04:46,746 --> 00:04:48,780
My life's over.
106
00:04:48,815 --> 00:04:50,615
You don't understand.
107
00:04:50,650 --> 00:04:52,484
40 is 80 in gay years.
108
00:04:52,518 --> 00:04:54,453
Please. I don't understand?
109
00:04:54,487 --> 00:04:56,800
Men my age want women in their 20s.
110
00:04:56,801 --> 00:04:58,323
Which means the only man I can get
111
00:04:58,357 --> 00:04:59,458
is 120.
112
00:05:00,023 --> 00:05:02,227
Great. I'm in the same
113
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,687
fat, old boat as you.
114
00:05:07,066 --> 00:05:08,333
That's right.
115
00:05:08,367 --> 00:05:10,335
You know what I do when I'm feeling old?
116
00:05:10,369 --> 00:05:13,038
I get my lashes done,
I freshen up the weave,
117
00:05:13,072 --> 00:05:14,873
I buy new lipstick...
118
00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:16,742
I'm gay, but not that gay.
119
00:05:17,810 --> 00:05:19,878
Oh, I just got an idea.
120
00:05:19,912 --> 00:05:21,813
You know my ex Coleman
121
00:05:21,848 --> 00:05:23,992
is the top plastic surgeon in the city.
122
00:05:24,518 --> 00:05:26,451
You think I need plastic surgery?
123
00:05:26,486 --> 00:05:28,353
I could pass for 32.
124
00:05:28,387 --> 00:05:30,322
And I could pass for Taylor Swift.
125
00:05:32,391 --> 00:05:34,159
Let's see.
126
00:05:34,193 --> 00:05:35,227
Over here...
127
00:05:36,262 --> 00:05:38,263
(Gasps) I'm beautiful.
128
00:05:39,432 --> 00:05:41,333
(Gasps) Okay.
129
00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:43,201
I'm gonna call Coleman right now.
130
00:05:43,236 --> 00:05:45,137
Yes. Wait, no.
131
00:05:45,171 --> 00:05:47,806
I can't make you deal
with that cheater for me.
132
00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,975
Oh, that's ridiculous.
133
00:05:50,009 --> 00:05:51,743
I'll take you myself.
134
00:05:51,778 --> 00:05:54,546
- I want you to be happy.
- Since when?
135
00:05:54,580 --> 00:05:56,715
Since it's your birthday.
136
00:05:56,749 --> 00:06:00,097
And since Coleman got dumped,
you want to rub it in his face?
137
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:02,220
Isn't that how you teach a dog a lesson?
138
00:06:04,257 --> 00:06:06,224
Okay, I think I've figured out a way...
139
00:06:06,259 --> 00:06:07,626
To help me?
140
00:06:07,660 --> 00:06:09,871
Last month, Wired featured
Elon Musk at his hover-desk.
141
00:06:09,872 --> 00:06:12,030
Oh yeah! I saw that. That was really cool!
142
00:06:12,064 --> 00:06:13,365
I'm not helping, am I?
143
00:06:13,399 --> 00:06:15,539
Look, I know this might not
seem like a big deal to you,
144
00:06:15,540 --> 00:06:17,389
but everybody in my
business reads this column.
145
00:06:17,390 --> 00:06:19,170
Venture capitalists, potential clients,
146
00:06:19,171 --> 00:06:20,939
- software developers...
- So you want to seem cool?
147
00:06:20,940 --> 00:06:22,395
- Yes!
- Don't worry, okay?
148
00:06:22,396 --> 00:06:24,132
You're gonna have him back
in time for your shoot.
149
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:27,132
I figured out the perfect "I'm sorry
I ruined your birthday" present.
150
00:06:27,664 --> 00:06:30,012
His parents know he's 40, right?
151
00:06:30,516 --> 00:06:32,540
- Why wouldn't they?
- So here's my plan.
152
00:06:32,541 --> 00:06:34,741
Since Elliot rarely gets a
chance to see his parents,
153
00:06:34,759 --> 00:06:37,255
I'm inviting them to a
five-course Korean dinner.
154
00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:39,291
He'll love that. Here, let's call them now.
155
00:06:39,325 --> 00:06:40,225
Okay.
156
00:06:43,740 --> 00:06:46,540
Hi, Mr. Park? It's Gabi
Diamond. I work with Elliot.
157
00:06:47,967 --> 00:06:49,483
Yes, the annoying blonde cook.
158
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:53,605
So anyway, Elliot's
boyfriend broke up with him
159
00:06:53,639 --> 00:06:55,376
and I don't want him to
be alone on his big day,
160
00:06:55,420 --> 00:06:57,542
so I was wondering if
maybe you could fly in
161
00:06:57,577 --> 00:06:58,999
for a birthday dinner tomorrow night.
162
00:07:00,049 --> 00:07:02,447
Okay, great. Check with
Mrs. Park. Call me back.
163
00:07:03,716 --> 00:07:05,891
So, where are you planning
on having this dinner?
164
00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:08,186
I thought you'd never ask. Your terrace.
165
00:07:09,288 --> 00:07:11,557
No problem. And I want
to pay for the dinner.
166
00:07:11,558 --> 00:07:13,425
Oh, but you're already
paying for their flights.
167
00:07:13,459 --> 00:07:15,771
Elliot: Oh my God!
168
00:07:16,684 --> 00:07:19,130
Someone just outed me to my parents!
169
00:07:19,796 --> 00:07:20,966
Wait.
170
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,834
Your parents didn't know you were gay?
171
00:07:22,869 --> 00:07:24,870
No. They're super traditional.
172
00:07:24,904 --> 00:07:26,638
They don't even like sex with each other.
173
00:07:27,940 --> 00:07:30,575
- How the hell did they find out?
- Gabi did it.
174
00:07:31,453 --> 00:07:34,034
- I need him. He's the desk whisperer.
- You know what, Josh?
175
00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:36,414
I just thought of the
perfect birthday gift.
176
00:07:36,449 --> 00:07:39,384
Tell that dime store hooker
to get out of my face.
177
00:07:39,418 --> 00:07:41,122
- Okay, can I just...
- Gabi, home.
178
00:07:42,188 --> 00:07:43,288
Bye.
179
00:07:43,322 --> 00:07:45,544
And that cute dress? I lied!
180
00:07:51,135 --> 00:07:53,641
Oh. You're home early.
181
00:07:53,703 --> 00:07:55,022
What'd you do?
182
00:07:55,478 --> 00:07:57,822
I caused Elliot's boyfriend
to break up with him,
183
00:07:57,860 --> 00:07:59,185
and then I outed him to his parents,
184
00:07:59,186 --> 00:08:01,697
and if I keep talking like
this, everything sounds great!
185
00:08:02,536 --> 00:08:04,415
- Holy crap.
- Yeah.
186
00:08:04,416 --> 00:08:07,097
Oh yeah. And did I mention
it's his birthday tomorrow?
187
00:08:07,098 --> 00:08:09,319
Oh... wait. So, Josh fired you?
188
00:08:09,420 --> 00:08:11,906
No, Sofia, Josh didn't fire me.
189
00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:14,876
We just have a mutual agreement that
things are better when I'm not around.
190
00:08:16,394 --> 00:08:17,976
How do I fix this?
191
00:08:17,977 --> 00:08:20,569
Um, okay, well, you
destroyed his relationship,
192
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:21,989
you told his parents he was gay.
193
00:08:21,990 --> 00:08:24,127
W-when do you find time to cook?
194
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,866
Hey, I know. I'll just
find Elliot a new boyfriend.
195
00:08:28,867 --> 00:08:31,054
He said he's only loved
three men in his entire life.
196
00:08:31,242 --> 00:08:33,367
Andre, Adam Levine,
197
00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:35,369
and some guy named Alan from college.
198
00:08:35,613 --> 00:08:37,647
That's great. So we find Alan from college.
199
00:08:37,682 --> 00:08:39,483
I was gonna say that!
200
00:08:40,685 --> 00:08:42,652
If you don't let me get
there, I'm never gonna learn.
201
00:08:44,178 --> 00:08:45,810
Okay, all right.
202
00:08:46,657 --> 00:08:49,226
- I'm on Elliot's Facebook page.
- Okay.
203
00:08:49,293 --> 00:08:50,961
(Gaps) There's only two Alans.
204
00:08:50,995 --> 00:08:53,063
Alan Thicke and Alan Lowenstein.
205
00:08:53,097 --> 00:08:56,066
I know. It's Alan Lowenstein
206
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:59,352
because he went to Berkeley and that
is also where Elliot went to college.
207
00:08:59,353 --> 00:09:02,083
Yes, that's the only
reason we know which Alan.
208
00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:10,961
Well, today is officially your birthday.
209
00:09:10,986 --> 00:09:12,993
Happy Birthday. See?
210
00:09:14,719 --> 00:09:17,220
It's my face instead of Andre's.
211
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:20,667
It represents our friendship...
212
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:22,071
boss, publicist.
213
00:09:22,393 --> 00:09:24,370
Always there for each other.
214
00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:29,065
Stop. I've decided not
to celebrate my birthday.
215
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:30,867
Aw.
216
00:09:30,902 --> 00:09:32,836
I get it, big guy.
217
00:09:32,870 --> 00:09:34,921
You want to focus on the
photo shoot with Wired.
218
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:38,575
Josh, I'm gonna be able to focus better
219
00:09:38,609 --> 00:09:40,677
after my cosmetic surgery consultation.
220
00:09:40,711 --> 00:09:42,479
What?
221
00:09:42,513 --> 00:09:44,314
Elliot, you don't need plastic surgery.
222
00:09:44,348 --> 00:09:46,216
We'll let Dr. James decide that.
223
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,118
Yolanda's ex-husband?
224
00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:49,914
Yes, she got me an appointment.
225
00:09:49,915 --> 00:09:51,995
- She's taking me right now.
- Oh!
226
00:09:52,190 --> 00:09:54,291
She wants to see him because
she heard he's single.
227
00:09:54,325 --> 00:09:56,159
No, she doesn't like him.
228
00:09:56,194 --> 00:09:58,228
She just wants to rub
the breakup in his face.
229
00:09:59,087 --> 00:10:01,262
I don't think that's what
she wants to rub in his face.
230
00:10:02,550 --> 00:10:05,068
- You ready?
- Look, I see what's going on here.
231
00:10:05,102 --> 00:10:07,329
You're using Elliot as
an excuse to see Coleman.
232
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,454
Oh, please. Look at his saggy face.
233
00:10:09,455 --> 00:10:10,742
He looks like a rescue pug.
234
00:10:12,677 --> 00:10:14,611
That's never gonna get rescued.
235
00:10:14,645 --> 00:10:16,613
Yolanda.
236
00:10:17,682 --> 00:10:19,112
You worked day and night
237
00:10:19,113 --> 00:10:20,962
for years to put Coleman
through medical school.
238
00:10:20,963 --> 00:10:22,193
The minute he became a doctor,
239
00:10:22,194 --> 00:10:23,475
he ran off with his assistant.
240
00:10:23,476 --> 00:10:25,944
And now it is payback time.
241
00:10:25,945 --> 00:10:27,326
He is single and vulnerable.
242
00:10:27,350 --> 00:10:29,146
I am gonna turn on the charm,
243
00:10:29,147 --> 00:10:30,881
and get him to take me out,
244
00:10:30,882 --> 00:10:33,196
and right when I got him
wrapped around my finger,
245
00:10:33,197 --> 00:10:36,099
I'm gonna dump his sorry
ass like he dumped mine.
246
00:10:36,133 --> 00:10:37,968
Ha ha.
247
00:10:41,973 --> 00:10:44,941
I can't believe I found you,
Alan. Elliot's gonna be so excited.
248
00:10:44,942 --> 00:10:46,429
You think he's gonna be excited.
249
00:10:46,430 --> 00:10:48,578
I've had a crush on him
since freshman orientation.
250
00:10:48,613 --> 00:10:51,007
In fact, that's the way I
discovered my orientation.
251
00:10:51,982 --> 00:10:53,865
That's funny. You're funny.
252
00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:56,601
Funny? That's what people
say when someone's not cute.
253
00:10:56,681 --> 00:10:58,848
Oh God, I'm so nervous
I'm schvitzing up a storm.
254
00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:02,402
I don't know what schvitzing is,
but I can't tell you're doing it.
255
00:11:03,294 --> 00:11:05,128
Don't worry. You're gonna be fine.
256
00:11:05,162 --> 00:11:07,130
- How lucky is it that you're single?
- Yeah.
257
00:11:07,164 --> 00:11:09,032
I'm like a lotto winner.
258
00:11:09,066 --> 00:11:11,460
I can't believe Elliot's still single.
259
00:11:11,461 --> 00:11:12,628
He's such a catch.
260
00:11:12,870 --> 00:11:14,923
Elliot... Park?
261
00:11:16,019 --> 00:11:18,341
You know, I wish you would've
given me a few weeks' notice.
262
00:11:18,376 --> 00:11:19,676
I would've lost five pounds.
263
00:11:19,710 --> 00:11:21,511
Eh, who am I kidding?
264
00:11:21,545 --> 00:11:22,479
(Dings)
265
00:11:26,740 --> 00:11:27,840
Shh.
266
00:11:27,950 --> 00:11:29,717
Oh, I get it. You want to surprise him.
267
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:31,452
Surprise him by doing something right.
268
00:11:31,453 --> 00:11:32,386
Wait here.
269
00:11:36,127 --> 00:11:37,060
Gabi.
270
00:11:37,094 --> 00:11:38,028
(Gasps loudly)
271
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,897
Elliot cannot come home and find you here.
272
00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:43,500
Oh good. He's gone.
Listen, I have another plan.
273
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:45,602
I think you're using the word "plan" wrong.
274
00:11:45,636 --> 00:11:48,405
This one's a winner. Okay, meet...
275
00:11:49,707 --> 00:11:52,642
Alan Lowenstein, Elliot's
long lost college love.
276
00:11:52,677 --> 00:11:54,949
He knows his real age, knows he's gay,
277
00:11:54,950 --> 00:11:56,413
and he's still single.
278
00:11:56,414 --> 00:11:58,148
Why do you keep saying that?
279
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:02,886
And you're not allergic to any medications?
280
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:04,988
If I am, I don't care.
281
00:12:05,022 --> 00:12:06,803
Dope me up, peel this off,
282
00:12:06,804 --> 00:12:08,605
and slap a new face on me.
283
00:12:10,384 --> 00:12:13,863
Just thought I'd poke my head in
and say a quick hey to Coleman.
284
00:12:13,898 --> 00:12:16,833
Yolanda, you didn't
tell me you were coming.
285
00:12:16,867 --> 00:12:18,935
Quick, go check the tires on my Porsche.
286
00:12:18,970 --> 00:12:21,771
(Both laugh)
287
00:12:21,806 --> 00:12:23,406
(Softly) No, seriously, go check.
288
00:12:24,709 --> 00:12:26,710
Wow, look at you.
289
00:12:26,744 --> 00:12:29,646
If I didn't know better, I would think
you went to one of my competitors.
290
00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,915
- Oh, stop.
- Yeah, stop.
291
00:12:31,916 --> 00:12:34,009
Because if you think she
looks good, I'm out of here.
292
00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:36,678
Sorry. I just got a little distracted
293
00:12:36,679 --> 00:12:37,997
by those big beautiful...
294
00:12:38,255 --> 00:12:39,856
Eyes.
295
00:12:39,890 --> 00:12:42,859
You always did get lost in my... eyes.
296
00:12:42,893 --> 00:12:44,919
We get it. You're
talking about her boobies.
297
00:12:47,031 --> 00:12:49,799
It's like taking candy from a baby.
298
00:12:49,834 --> 00:12:51,768
So, Elliot, I think the first thing to do
299
00:12:51,802 --> 00:12:53,536
is a subtle facelift.
300
00:12:53,571 --> 00:12:55,282
The hell with subtle.
301
00:12:55,283 --> 00:12:58,274
I want to get pulled so tight
I look like I'm sky-diving.
302
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,412
So, how you been, Yo-Yo?
303
00:13:02,446 --> 00:13:04,447
Oh, can't complain, Co-Co.
304
00:13:04,482 --> 00:13:07,183
I was so sorry to hear about your breakup.
305
00:13:08,986 --> 00:13:11,187
If Yo-Yo and Co-Co
are done flirting,
306
00:13:11,222 --> 00:13:13,757
El-El wants to look like
the Korean Matt Damon.
307
00:13:14,564 --> 00:13:17,093
Man, I wish I didn't have
another patient after this.
308
00:13:17,128 --> 00:13:19,562
Why? Do I need that much work?
309
00:13:19,597 --> 00:13:21,664
I'd like to take you to dinner tonight.
310
00:13:21,699 --> 00:13:23,833
- That would be fine.
- Excellent.
311
00:13:23,868 --> 00:13:25,668
This is gonna be fun.
312
00:13:25,703 --> 00:13:27,737
Oh, you have no idea.
313
00:13:27,772 --> 00:13:29,639
Hey, here's an idea.
314
00:13:29,673 --> 00:13:31,541
Quit kissing her ass
and start lifting mine.
315
00:13:36,347 --> 00:13:38,114
Okay, that was the doorman.
316
00:13:38,149 --> 00:13:39,149
Elliot's on his way up right now.
317
00:13:39,183 --> 00:13:40,150
How do I look?
318
00:13:40,184 --> 00:13:42,952
One button unbuttoned? Or two? Or three?
319
00:13:42,987 --> 00:13:44,721
Who am I? Usher? I'll do one.
320
00:13:47,124 --> 00:13:49,793
You look adorable, Alan Lowenstein.
321
00:13:49,827 --> 00:13:52,460
Now you sit right there, and I'm
gonna go meet him in the hall.
322
00:13:52,461 --> 00:13:53,428
(Quietly) Okay.
323
00:13:53,429 --> 00:13:54,362
(Dings)
324
00:13:55,766 --> 00:13:58,601
I did not invite you to my birthday.
325
00:13:58,636 --> 00:14:02,377
But you will invite me to your "wedding."
326
00:14:03,574 --> 00:14:05,241
I have a birthday surprise for you.
327
00:14:05,276 --> 00:14:07,143
What'd you do this time, kill my cat?
328
00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:11,247
No. Do you remember
your college crush Alan?
329
00:14:11,282 --> 00:14:13,283
- Well, he's here.
- What?
330
00:14:13,317 --> 00:14:15,018
Yeah, you heard me, birthday boy.
331
00:14:15,052 --> 00:14:16,886
He's sitting on the other
side of that door right now,
332
00:14:16,921 --> 00:14:18,021
and he's so excited to see you.
333
00:14:18,055 --> 00:14:19,789
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
334
00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:20,890
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
335
00:14:20,925 --> 00:14:22,659
How did you find Alan O'Shay?
336
00:14:25,282 --> 00:14:26,982
O'Shay?
337
00:14:26,983 --> 00:14:28,116
Oh,...
338
00:14:33,145 --> 00:14:35,146
Gabi, move. I want to see Alan.
339
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:36,981
No.
340
00:14:36,982 --> 00:14:38,249
You don't want to seem too eager.
341
00:14:38,250 --> 00:14:40,076
But that's my signature move.
342
00:14:41,053 --> 00:14:43,266
What if your new signature move
343
00:14:43,267 --> 00:14:44,822
is being fashionably late?
344
00:14:44,857 --> 00:14:46,648
Ooh, what about that? Okay, bye. Wait here!
345
00:14:48,827 --> 00:14:49,994
Is he here?
346
00:14:50,029 --> 00:14:51,796
Uh, not quite yet.
347
00:14:53,499 --> 00:14:55,533
Bad news, Alan. Elliot's sick.
348
00:14:55,567 --> 00:14:57,402
And I would hate for you to get it.
349
00:14:57,436 --> 00:14:59,337
Well, I don't want it.
I am very susceptible.
350
00:14:59,371 --> 00:15:01,149
Yeah, uh-huh. That's what I thought.
351
00:15:01,150 --> 00:15:03,462
So come on, let's go this
way. Go that way, go that way.
352
00:15:04,476 --> 00:15:06,177
Elliot Park?
353
00:15:06,211 --> 00:15:08,112
Alan Lowenstein?
354
00:15:08,147 --> 00:15:10,573
- Surprise.
- Yes.
355
00:15:10,721 --> 00:15:12,588
What a surprise.
356
00:15:13,452 --> 00:15:15,386
All right. What's happening here?
357
00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,648
It feels like when I was
the only boy in Hebrew school
358
00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,523
not invited to Jenny
Schneider's bat mitzvah.
359
00:15:19,524 --> 00:15:21,225
Whatever. Bitch got fat.
360
00:15:22,127 --> 00:15:23,795
Um...
361
00:15:23,829 --> 00:15:25,730
Listen, Alan, I made a horrible mistake.
362
00:15:25,764 --> 00:15:27,765
You're the wrong Alan.
363
00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:29,634
She thought you were Alan O'Shay.
364
00:15:29,668 --> 00:15:31,402
Alan O'Shay?
365
00:15:31,437 --> 00:15:32,637
Oh, I wish.
366
00:15:32,671 --> 00:15:35,440
Well... Hey, looks like
you both love the same Alan.
367
00:15:35,474 --> 00:15:38,376
Why don't you talk about him over the
magnificent dinner that I made you?
368
00:15:38,410 --> 00:15:41,452
So, I'm not even supposed to be here.
369
00:15:41,877 --> 00:15:43,506
Ah, this is so embarrassing.
370
00:15:43,556 --> 00:15:45,494
- I should go.
- No, don't.
371
00:15:45,660 --> 00:15:47,744
She's the one who screwed
this up. She should go.
372
00:15:48,854 --> 00:15:50,188
You stay.
373
00:15:50,222 --> 00:15:53,679
Otherwise I'm just gonna shame-eat
all this in the bathtub later.
374
00:15:54,827 --> 00:15:57,562
Elliot Park in the bathtub?
375
00:15:57,783 --> 00:16:00,495
Oy, I need a Popsicle.
376
00:16:04,536 --> 00:16:05,603
(Dings)
377
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,785
Oh, such a gentleman.
378
00:16:07,819 --> 00:16:10,488
You didn't have to walk me
all the way back to Josh's.
379
00:16:10,522 --> 00:16:12,064
But I'm glad you did.
380
00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:14,325
Well I wanted to tell
Elliot I could squeeze him in
381
00:16:14,359 --> 00:16:15,825
for surgery appointment next week.
382
00:16:15,826 --> 00:16:17,394
That's the only reason?
383
00:16:17,429 --> 00:16:19,096
No.
384
00:16:19,131 --> 00:16:21,899
I never knew what I had when I had it.
385
00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,268
Now that I do, I miss it.
386
00:16:24,302 --> 00:16:25,803
Oh.
387
00:16:25,837 --> 00:16:27,193
You're talking about me, right?
388
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:30,674
Damn right.
389
00:16:33,912 --> 00:16:35,646
So?
390
00:16:36,681 --> 00:16:37,848
How are Alan and Elliot doing?
391
00:16:37,883 --> 00:16:41,107
Oh well, let's just say I'm
opening another bottle of wine.
392
00:16:41,108 --> 00:16:42,586
So it's going well.
393
00:16:42,621 --> 00:16:44,478
Oh, I have no idea. This is for me.
394
00:16:47,526 --> 00:16:49,326
(Both chuckle)
395
00:16:49,361 --> 00:16:51,095
There's the happy couple.
396
00:16:51,129 --> 00:16:52,212
Almost too happy.
397
00:16:53,886 --> 00:16:55,479
Look, there's Elliot. Why don't you go
398
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,205
tell him the good news about your schedule.
399
00:17:01,940 --> 00:17:03,874
You see his face, Josh?
400
00:17:03,909 --> 00:17:05,943
You mean that same stupid
grin I see on yours?
401
00:17:05,977 --> 00:17:09,046
Oh, I got this. It's
all part of an act, baby.
402
00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:11,549
Next up, he's gonna
walk me to the elevator.
403
00:17:11,583 --> 00:17:13,804
I'm gonna give him the kiss of a lifetime.
404
00:17:13,805 --> 00:17:15,635
Then I'm gonna say, "Hold up, Coleman.
405
00:17:15,636 --> 00:17:17,588
"I have something to say to you.
406
00:17:17,622 --> 00:17:21,008
Payback's a bitch named Yolanda!"
407
00:17:21,593 --> 00:17:23,882
You'll just need to
get your bloodwork done,
408
00:17:23,883 --> 00:17:26,297
but you should be all set for next week.
409
00:17:26,331 --> 00:17:28,199
Thanks for squeezing me in.
410
00:17:28,233 --> 00:17:30,134
And thanks for the friends
and family discount.
411
00:17:30,942 --> 00:17:32,342
Wait. We didn't say anything about...
412
00:17:32,343 --> 00:17:34,344
Oh, bye bye!
413
00:17:36,174 --> 00:17:38,578
- What?
- I don't want to say anything.
414
00:17:40,011 --> 00:17:41,845
But I will.
415
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:44,174
I can't believe you're
getting plastic surgery.
416
00:17:44,175 --> 00:17:45,683
Why do you want to mess with perfection?
417
00:17:45,717 --> 00:17:48,023
It's like those people who
make the gluten-free bagels.
418
00:17:48,499 --> 00:17:49,486
What?
419
00:17:49,521 --> 00:17:52,123
Your face is so handsome and youthful.
420
00:17:52,124 --> 00:17:55,226
Those thick luscious eyebrows.
421
00:17:55,260 --> 00:17:57,973
They're like two magnificent caterpillars
422
00:17:57,974 --> 00:18:00,788
who said, "To hell with
becoming butterflies."
423
00:18:01,099 --> 00:18:02,780
If I didn't know we were the same age,
424
00:18:03,036 --> 00:18:04,935
I'd swear you weren't a day over 32.
425
00:18:06,204 --> 00:18:07,972
You know,
426
00:18:08,006 --> 00:18:09,940
Gabi inviting you here tonight
427
00:18:09,975 --> 00:18:11,909
might have been the best
mistake she's ever made.
428
00:18:13,845 --> 00:18:15,713
To mistakes.
429
00:18:18,436 --> 00:18:20,403
(Both chuckle)
430
00:18:20,719 --> 00:18:21,785
Yolanda...
431
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:23,721
Today was amazing.
432
00:18:23,755 --> 00:18:25,623
Just like old times.
433
00:18:25,657 --> 00:18:27,904
Better. You paid.
434
00:18:32,597 --> 00:18:34,711
You know, if I don't push that button,
435
00:18:34,712 --> 00:18:36,267
I will never leave.
436
00:18:36,301 --> 00:18:38,302
So push it.
437
00:18:43,241 --> 00:18:45,075
Hold it.
438
00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:47,333
Coleman, I have something to say to you.
439
00:18:47,646 --> 00:18:48,946
What's that?
440
00:18:49,810 --> 00:18:51,878
Are you free Friday night?
441
00:18:55,913 --> 00:18:57,914
I know this day was a disaster,
442
00:18:57,948 --> 00:19:00,129
but everybody deserves
a cake on their birthday.
443
00:19:00,529 --> 00:19:02,197
It's a tiered strawberry shortcake
444
00:19:02,198 --> 00:19:04,407
with Tahitian-vanilla whipped
cream and fresh berries.
445
00:19:04,408 --> 00:19:07,419
Ooh, he is gonna love
throwing that in your face.
446
00:19:08,792 --> 00:19:10,493
I'll hold off on lighting the candles.
447
00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:16,365
So?
448
00:19:17,534 --> 00:19:19,135
Did you get your revenge?
449
00:19:20,337 --> 00:19:22,543
Oh, I made out like a bandit.
450
00:19:27,311 --> 00:19:29,624
Elliot, unlike your life,
451
00:19:29,643 --> 00:19:31,461
your cake is one thing I'd never screw up.
452
00:19:32,916 --> 00:19:34,917
- Sing...
- Hold on.
453
00:19:34,952 --> 00:19:36,462
I'd like to say something first.
454
00:19:36,493 --> 00:19:37,887
Uh-oh.
455
00:19:37,921 --> 00:19:40,623
- This birthday has sucked.
- That was me. I did that.
456
00:19:41,602 --> 00:19:44,452
But there's been one bright spot and
that's been reconnecting with Alan.
457
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:46,829
That was me. I did that.
458
00:19:47,831 --> 00:19:51,567
This sweet, funny, adorable man
459
00:19:51,602 --> 00:19:54,637
made me realize I don't
need plastic surgery.
460
00:19:55,578 --> 00:19:58,228
I think 40 could be my best year yet.
461
00:19:58,334 --> 00:20:00,009
Both: Aww.
462
00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:02,070
Wait. How can you be 40 if I'm 42?
463
00:20:02,071 --> 00:20:03,579
Shh!
464
00:20:14,176 --> 00:20:15,376
How's it going?
465
00:20:15,410 --> 00:20:18,045
He says it's going to be
one of the best ones yet.
466
00:20:18,046 --> 00:20:21,597
The tech guy who still writes out
his ideas on butcher block paper.
467
00:20:21,598 --> 00:20:24,919
I'm not just cool. I'm retro cool.
468
00:20:24,953 --> 00:20:26,320
Thank you, Elliot.
469
00:20:26,355 --> 00:20:28,843
Thank you for putting up
with me the last few days.
470
00:20:29,604 --> 00:20:30,767
All done here.
471
00:20:30,805 --> 00:20:32,742
And can I just say, I love the painting.
472
00:20:33,161 --> 00:20:35,718
Now I know what to get my
husband for his birthday.
473
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:40,410
I'm so thrilled we are finally
dong a "gay desk for success".
474
00:20:43,270 --> 00:20:45,746
Well at least my parents will
be happy I married a millionaire.
475
00:20:47,994 --> 00:20:48,736
Sir...
476
00:20:48,736 --> 00:20:50,583
Sync & corrections by PetaG
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477
00:20:50,633 --> 00:20:55,183
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