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1
00:00:00,594 --> 00:00:02,461
I'm not saying
I'm pro-bullying, but...
2
00:00:02,627 --> 00:00:04,676
At what point does
the anti-bullying campaign
3
00:00:04,801 --> 00:00:06,095
just start bullying the cool kids?
4
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:07,262
- Right.
- Exactly.
5
00:00:07,387 --> 00:00:08,880
That's what I'm sayin'.
6
00:00:09,005 --> 00:00:10,048
We could be losing
like a whole generation
7
00:00:10,173 --> 00:00:11,433
of cool kids.
8
00:00:11,558 --> 00:00:13,597
No!
No, damn it!
9
00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,682
Please!
10
00:00:15,848 --> 00:00:17,556
No!
11
00:00:17,681 --> 00:00:20,228
No!
Breathe water, damn it!
12
00:00:20,394 --> 00:00:22,745
Whoa.
13
00:00:22,870 --> 00:00:25,063
- Ew.
- What are you doing?
14
00:00:25,188 --> 00:00:27,361
P.F. Chang's, it's closing,
15
00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:29,668
so I tried to rescue my Koi fish
friends from their pond,
16
00:00:29,793 --> 00:00:32,324
but something's gone really wrong.
17
00:00:32,490 --> 00:00:34,534
I gotta give 'em mouth-to-gill.
18
00:00:34,700 --> 00:00:35,911
That's sad.
Did P.F. die?
19
00:00:36,077 --> 00:00:38,093
Oh, man.
He was like an old dude.
20
00:00:38,218 --> 00:00:40,245
I hope one of the other changs
takes it over.
21
00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:41,880
- Maybe Michael?
- Oh, cool, yeah.
22
00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:45,184
Like with the whole tennis theme?
23
00:00:45,309 --> 00:00:46,218
- Ew.
- Oh.
24
00:00:46,343 --> 00:00:47,464
- Oh.
- No.
25
00:00:48,044 --> 00:00:50,092
No, no.
26
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:51,807
Yo, God!
27
00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:54,262
Why are you killing my friends?
28
00:00:54,428 --> 00:00:57,265
What did I do?
Wait.
29
00:00:58,488 --> 00:01:01,311
This isn't one of them
chlorine pools, is it?
30
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:08,944
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
31
00:01:14,755 --> 00:01:16,381
Here, just Chuck it.
32
00:01:16,506 --> 00:01:17,828
Good-bye, Koi Orbison.
33
00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,718
So long, Gilly Nelson.
34
00:01:19,843 --> 00:01:21,373
You were always on my mind.
35
00:01:21,539 --> 00:01:23,972
See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya,
Fish Diesel.
36
00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:25,669
Coulda said "Fin Diesel," right?
37
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:26,725
- Damn it.
- Oh.
38
00:01:26,850 --> 00:01:28,130
Oh, ho, ho, it popped.
39
00:01:28,296 --> 00:01:30,295
Adam, no, no.
No, no, no, no.
40
00:01:30,420 --> 00:01:32,755
Don't disrespect these majestic
beasts, all right?
41
00:01:33,217 --> 00:01:33,899
Sorry.
42
00:01:34,024 --> 00:01:35,484
These Koi fish were my friends.
43
00:01:35,761 --> 00:01:37,069
I told them my hopes, my dreams.
44
00:01:37,194 --> 00:01:39,605
They knew my secrets.
Damn, man.
45
00:01:39,730 --> 00:01:41,156
I feel like this is exactly
how a dude
46
00:01:41,281 --> 00:01:42,691
in a street gang would feel.
47
00:01:42,816 --> 00:01:43,859
These are all my dead homeys.
48
00:01:43,984 --> 00:01:45,355
I bet it feels a little different
49
00:01:45,521 --> 00:01:46,995
to like have human beings die
and stuff.
50
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:48,997
- They're just fish.
- No, man.
51
00:01:49,122 --> 00:01:51,583
I'm like chief keef, dude.
52
00:01:51,708 --> 00:01:54,486
Basically.
This is shit I don't like.
53
00:01:54,611 --> 00:01:56,421
Hey, Blake.
54
00:01:56,546 --> 00:01:59,703
I think I know how we can honor 'em.
55
00:01:59,869 --> 00:02:02,177
Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho.
Okay.
56
00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,957
Wait, are you guys
gonna fuck these fish?
57
00:02:04,123 --> 00:02:05,459
- No, we're not gonna...
- okay.
58
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:06,960
Then, what was that face all about?
59
00:02:07,126 --> 00:02:09,301
It's a fish fry, y'all!
60
00:02:09,426 --> 00:02:12,888
Whoo, whoo!
You will not be needing this.
61
00:02:13,013 --> 00:02:14,926
- My gyro.
- You are too kind, bill.
62
00:02:15,565 --> 00:02:17,943
But he is right,
we are heroes because today,
63
00:02:18,068 --> 00:02:20,098
we will be frying everybody's lunch.
64
00:02:20,264 --> 00:02:22,184
Get that fruit out of your face.
65
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,310
These aren't eatin' fish.
66
00:02:23,476 --> 00:02:24,936
This is decorative pond scum
67
00:02:25,102 --> 00:02:26,938
livin' off pennies and tic-tacs.
68
00:02:27,104 --> 00:02:28,720
Okay, it's not decorative pond scum,
69
00:02:28,845 --> 00:02:30,817
and they eat loogies
and big league chew.
70
00:02:30,983 --> 00:02:35,489
Look at this nasty-ass bitch.
71
00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:37,449
You put Rob Koidry down,
72
00:02:37,615 --> 00:02:38,992
or I'll send you back to time
73
00:02:39,439 --> 00:02:41,119
in a-a hot tub.
74
00:02:41,285 --> 00:02:44,352
- Yeah, like the movie.
- The movie's funny, dude.
75
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,999
Why are you doing this?
76
00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:47,873
You owe me an explanation.
77
00:02:47,998 --> 00:02:49,491
I just don't think we're compatible,
78
00:02:49,616 --> 00:02:51,493
age-wise or whatever.
79
00:02:51,618 --> 00:02:54,880
Age-wise?
80
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,381
Okay, you can get the hell
out of here,
81
00:02:56,506 --> 00:02:57,923
you fucking jug jockey.
82
00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:01,181
Go.
83
00:03:03,714 --> 00:03:05,224
Okay, who put this crap in here?
84
00:03:05,349 --> 00:03:06,892
Oh, it's not crap,
it's actually stuff
85
00:03:07,017 --> 00:03:08,143
for our fish fry.
86
00:03:08,268 --> 00:03:10,929
We're gonna honor my Koi boys
87
00:03:11,054 --> 00:03:13,110
so, you know, they can be
with me at all times.
88
00:03:13,276 --> 00:03:14,433
It's a very tough time for me, and...
89
00:03:14,558 --> 00:03:15,817
he's goin' through some stuff.
90
00:03:15,942 --> 00:03:18,824
Yeah, just waterworks earlier, and...
91
00:03:18,990 --> 00:03:21,723
okay, this kind
of time-wasting bullshit
92
00:03:21,848 --> 00:03:23,609
Is exactly why you're gonna be
working late
93
00:03:23,734 --> 00:03:24,893
the rest of the week.
94
00:03:25,018 --> 00:03:27,579
No fish fry.
95
00:03:27,704 --> 00:03:28,580
Wha...
96
00:03:34,327 --> 00:03:35,454
It's such a shame.
97
00:03:35,579 --> 00:03:37,506
I think Alice really liked that guy.
98
00:03:37,631 --> 00:03:39,508
That brain-dead water jockey?
99
00:03:39,633 --> 00:03:41,638
He's basically like
a roided-out version of me,
100
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,515
and I'm not roided out, Jillian.
101
00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:45,681
I'm roided in.
102
00:03:45,806 --> 00:03:48,100
Oh, well, I don't think
it was his brain
103
00:03:48,225 --> 00:03:50,564
she was attracted to,
if you get my drift.
104
00:03:51,261 --> 00:03:54,189
- I don't.
- Dick.
105
00:03:54,314 --> 00:03:55,902
Big ol' dick.
106
00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,559
Ooh.
107
00:03:57,684 --> 00:03:59,111
I'm not surprised.
108
00:03:59,236 --> 00:04:01,158
I always had Alice pegged
as a size queen.
109
00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,731
That's probably why she's always
110
00:04:02,856 --> 00:04:04,870
throwin' faces at me like...
111
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,329
Mm-mm, what?
112
00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:07,569
The size queens, they can smell
113
00:04:07,694 --> 00:04:09,288
my hog a mile away, baby.
114
00:04:09,413 --> 00:04:10,772
You don't want people
to be able to smell your penis.
115
00:04:10,897 --> 00:04:12,374
Yeah, especially
if they're Miles away.
116
00:04:12,499 --> 00:04:13,408
No, it doesn't stink.
That's just like...
117
00:04:13,533 --> 00:04:14,543
it's a euphemism.
118
00:04:14,668 --> 00:04:16,078
Regardless of what you think,
119
00:04:16,203 --> 00:04:17,883
she's not gonna let us
have this fish fry
120
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,831
'cause she's all twisted up
down there, you know?
121
00:04:19,956 --> 00:04:21,887
Well, you know why Alice
is so peeved, right?
122
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:24,681
'Cause the water boy took away
her deep ****.
123
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:28,006
So all I've gotta do is
give her my **** deep,
124
00:04:28,131 --> 00:04:29,561
and she'll stop being such a k-word.
125
00:04:29,727 --> 00:04:31,396
I think you mean c-word.
126
00:04:31,562 --> 00:04:34,024
- Alice has cancer?
- ****.
127
00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,775
Alice has **** cancer?
128
00:04:35,941 --> 00:04:37,733
You know what?
I'll still do it.
129
00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:39,267
- I don't care if I catch it.
- Okay.
130
00:04:39,392 --> 00:04:40,906
Healing power of love, baby.
131
00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,405
He is right, though.
That could work.
132
00:04:43,530 --> 00:04:45,574
Yeah, what if we hire a gigolo
133
00:04:45,699 --> 00:04:48,160
to womp her ass gangnam style, right?
134
00:04:48,285 --> 00:04:49,956
Then, we'll be fryin' fish
in no time.
135
00:04:50,122 --> 00:04:52,698
Oh, dude, nice.
We know chicks.
136
00:04:52,823 --> 00:04:54,783
Yeah, well, we do know chicks.
137
00:04:54,908 --> 00:04:56,702
But I don't think we need
to hire anyone...
138
00:04:56,827 --> 00:04:59,338
- No, we do.
- Because I am packin' meat.
139
00:04:59,463 --> 00:05:01,623
Serious meat down here.
It's like a whole deli platter.
140
00:05:01,748 --> 00:05:02,998
It's like rare cool meat.
141
00:05:03,386 --> 00:05:05,493
It's like that one really long meat
142
00:05:05,618 --> 00:05:06,661
with like olives in it.
143
00:05:06,786 --> 00:05:07,974
- Hey, what is that called?
- Dude.
144
00:05:08,140 --> 00:05:09,014
You don't wanna do that, man.
145
00:05:09,139 --> 00:05:10,432
You can't dip your pen
146
00:05:10,557 --> 00:05:12,062
in company stink, my brother.
147
00:05:12,228 --> 00:05:13,230
Pimento loaf.
148
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:14,519
Can we just all keep it real
149
00:05:14,644 --> 00:05:15,637
at the exact same moment here?
150
00:05:15,762 --> 00:05:16,972
You don't have a loaf,
151
00:05:17,097 --> 00:05:18,140
and that's exactly what she needs.
152
00:05:18,265 --> 00:05:19,725
All right, you wanna see it?
153
00:05:19,850 --> 00:05:21,009
You keep talkin' about it.
You wanna see it?
154
00:05:21,134 --> 00:05:22,194
I don't wanna see it.
155
00:05:22,319 --> 00:05:24,146
But sure, what's up?
156
00:05:24,271 --> 00:05:25,230
You're warmin' it up too much.
157
00:05:25,355 --> 00:05:26,448
I don't wanna see it hard.
158
00:05:26,573 --> 00:05:28,650
I wanna see it soft.
159
00:05:28,775 --> 00:05:30,914
Come on.
Oh.
160
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,459
Mm.
161
00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:38,410
Nah.
162
00:05:38,535 --> 00:05:40,048
- Okay, uh, Frank?
- Yeah.
163
00:05:40,420 --> 00:05:43,260
- Do you have a dick pic?
- I do indeed.
164
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,719
- I'll take that.
- Let's see it.
165
00:05:44,885 --> 00:05:46,668
Ooh, here we go.
166
00:05:46,793 --> 00:05:47,886
Oh, we'll take that.
167
00:05:48,011 --> 00:05:50,517
Oh, wow.
That is a wonderful dong.
168
00:05:50,683 --> 00:05:53,436
I am referred to as kind
of a sabertooth, hybrid tiger.
169
00:05:53,602 --> 00:05:55,394
- That's what they all say.
- Oh, holy smokes.
170
00:05:55,519 --> 00:05:57,545
It says here you had sex
with a chick at Juilliard?
171
00:05:57,670 --> 00:05:59,985
- Ooh, impressive.
- Not that impressive.
172
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,900
I've had sex with a girl
named Julie in a yard.
173
00:06:02,025 --> 00:06:03,446
This is a stellar prick.
174
00:06:03,612 --> 00:06:05,687
And if it's wild, I'll grab it.
175
00:06:05,812 --> 00:06:07,200
Boom, Tarzan.
176
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,911
Have you ever had sex
with two women at once?
177
00:06:10,077 --> 00:06:11,913
- Yeah.
- And have you ever buttfucked?
178
00:06:12,079 --> 00:06:13,612
- Yeah.
- What you need to understand
179
00:06:13,737 --> 00:06:15,497
is that we know chicks.
180
00:06:15,622 --> 00:06:16,731
We know chicks.
181
00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:18,333
You obviously don't know chicks.
182
00:06:18,458 --> 00:06:20,902
I know chicks, okay?
They like to be...
183
00:06:23,507 --> 00:06:25,207
Collectively, we've had sex
184
00:06:25,332 --> 00:06:27,676
with 17 different women.
185
00:06:27,801 --> 00:06:29,711
Six of those women are all mine,
186
00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:30,929
bagged and tagged.
187
00:06:31,054 --> 00:06:34,873
Yeah, double digits over here, so...
188
00:06:37,104 --> 00:06:38,437
- 11,000.
- Uh, you know what?
189
00:06:38,562 --> 00:06:40,984
I can already tell that this
isn't gonna be a great thing.
190
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,569
Thanks for comin' in, but no thanks
191
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,279
- 'cause we know chicks.
- Wait, not you.
192
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,111
We'll let you know.
193
00:06:46,236 --> 00:06:48,450
And you're goin' for it,
and you're goin' for it.
194
00:06:48,616 --> 00:06:50,076
And then, you just figure-eight it.
195
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,691
Well, today's been
a whole waste of time.
196
00:06:52,995 --> 00:06:54,152
Fine, I'll do it.
197
00:06:54,277 --> 00:06:56,621
I'll be the one that sexes
Alice back to normal
198
00:06:56,746 --> 00:06:58,439
so Blake can have his fish fry.
199
00:06:58,564 --> 00:07:00,325
- I appreciate that, man, but...
- I'm just a good friend.
200
00:07:00,450 --> 00:07:02,210
- We'll think of something.
- I just said, "I'll do it."
201
00:07:02,335 --> 00:07:03,757
Is this the... hi.
202
00:07:03,923 --> 00:07:05,497
Sorry, I'm late,
I-the freeway is just
203
00:07:05,622 --> 00:07:06,631
a darn parking lot out there.
204
00:07:06,756 --> 00:07:07,761
Girthquake's the name.
205
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,450
Okay, um, what are you,
206
00:07:09,575 --> 00:07:11,670
fresh off
your garbage route, Girthquake?
207
00:07:11,795 --> 00:07:13,255
'Cause he has a garbage bag.
208
00:07:13,380 --> 00:07:14,622
Oh.
209
00:07:14,747 --> 00:07:16,591
No, I-I just...
I brought some outfits.
210
00:07:16,716 --> 00:07:18,477
I was a stripper, so I have
a lot of different looks
211
00:07:18,602 --> 00:07:19,627
I can try out for you, and...
212
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,900
you're not even a pro.
213
00:07:22,066 --> 00:07:23,068
Get lost.
214
00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,111
The ad clearly stated
215
00:07:25,277 --> 00:07:27,822
professional man-whores only.
216
00:07:27,988 --> 00:07:29,771
Okay, I'm sorry to waste your time.
217
00:07:29,896 --> 00:07:31,273
It was stupid for me to come anyway.
218
00:07:31,398 --> 00:07:33,108
- Jesus.
- Bye-bye.
219
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:34,910
Have a good one.
220
00:07:35,035 --> 00:07:39,998
Oh, and, uh, you forgot your, uh...
221
00:07:40,123 --> 00:07:41,419
somebody call heaven.
222
00:07:41,585 --> 00:07:43,034
They're missin' an angel's dick.
223
00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:44,419
- Uh, Girthquake, wait.
- Hey, buddy.
224
00:07:44,544 --> 00:07:45,486
- Hey...
- whoa, oh, oh.
225
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,759
Do not leave.
You got the job.
226
00:07:47,925 --> 00:07:49,490
- What do you mean? How?
- Your dick.
227
00:07:49,615 --> 00:07:51,793
It goes so far away from your body.
228
00:07:51,918 --> 00:07:53,628
- Holy cow.
- Oh, my God.
229
00:07:53,753 --> 00:07:55,764
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
230
00:07:55,889 --> 00:07:57,182
You... you won't regret this.
231
00:07:57,307 --> 00:07:59,979
You... you made a good decision.
232
00:08:00,145 --> 00:08:01,770
Are you kidding me right now?
233
00:08:01,895 --> 00:08:04,139
I'm way more of a gigolo than he is.
234
00:08:04,264 --> 00:08:06,007
When I was a kid, I was paid $5
235
00:08:06,132 --> 00:08:08,693
by an old man to poop in a pizza box.
236
00:08:08,818 --> 00:08:11,012
Now, that is gigolo-ing.
237
00:08:11,137 --> 00:08:12,450
Now, that is gigolo-ing!
238
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:19,991
{pub}Is it ready?
239
00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,460
Do you need to torque up or anything?
240
00:08:21,585 --> 00:08:22,794
He's ready, though.
He's ready.
241
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,337
Hey, pardon me, Jillian.
242
00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:28,341
I've got a milk delivery
for miss Alice Murphy.
243
00:08:28,507 --> 00:08:30,085
Oh, I'm sorry, guys, she went
244
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,730
to happy hour at Billian's.
245
00:08:31,855 --> 00:08:33,012
Hey, that rhymes with my name.
246
00:08:33,178 --> 00:08:35,348
I never realized that before.
247
00:08:35,514 --> 00:08:38,226
I should go there.
248
00:08:38,392 --> 00:08:42,013
Shoot, uh, well, Girth,
is there any chance
249
00:08:42,138 --> 00:08:44,274
you've ever picked a girl up
at a bar?
250
00:08:44,558 --> 00:08:46,935
- Yes, of course.
- So have we, you know?
251
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:48,236
- 'Cause we know chicks, okay?
- Yeah.
252
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,471
- So, uh, let's go.
- All right.
253
00:08:50,596 --> 00:08:52,441
- To Billian's.
- To... to the bar.
254
00:08:52,566 --> 00:08:54,267
Are you serious?
255
00:08:54,521 --> 00:08:57,871
Do you believe in true love?
256
00:08:58,894 --> 00:09:00,623
Where is that comin' from?
257
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:02,584
- Right over here.
- Oh, hey, Adam.
258
00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:03,798
- Do you?
- Do I what?
259
00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:04,627
Believe in true love?
260
00:09:04,793 --> 00:09:07,727
- Well, I believe...
- that is awesome.
261
00:09:07,852 --> 00:09:09,424
So you'll help me
break into Alice's office
262
00:09:09,590 --> 00:09:12,294
so that she can finally see
how much she true loves me,
263
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,733
and then I can re d-pipe her out
264
00:09:13,858 --> 00:09:14,804
before Girthquake does?
265
00:09:14,970 --> 00:09:17,056
Yes, I love playing Cupid.
266
00:09:18,091 --> 00:09:20,085
It's a nice place.
267
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:22,187
Oh, oh, oh.
There she is.
268
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:23,897
- You ready?
- Are you sure about this?
269
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,258
I mean, a milkman in a bar?
270
00:09:26,383 --> 00:09:28,333
I just feel like I'd be more
comfortable in regular clothes.
271
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,820
Excuse me? I hope a milkman
didn't hear you say that.
272
00:09:30,986 --> 00:09:33,015
Ders, will you make sure
Alice stays put
273
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:34,616
while I help Girth change?
274
00:09:34,858 --> 00:09:38,010
Come on, hurry.
But keep the boots.
275
00:09:45,952 --> 00:09:48,755
Oh, my God.
Hi.
276
00:09:51,691 --> 00:09:53,735
Okay, I'm on her YouTube history.
277
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,787
Uh, she's watched Andy Samberg's
278
00:09:55,912 --> 00:09:57,756
Dick In A Box 110 times.
279
00:09:57,881 --> 00:10:00,259
That makes sense.
She's a comedy head, okay?
280
00:10:00,384 --> 00:10:02,628
'Cause I'm, like, a funny dude.
281
00:10:02,753 --> 00:10:04,513
- I am funny, Jillian.
- Okay.
282
00:10:04,638 --> 00:10:06,465
I'm basically like Andy Samberg
283
00:10:06,590 --> 00:10:08,750
like mixed with other funny people.
284
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,251
And Timberlake?
285
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,187
I'm only two inches shorter
than that man.
286
00:10:12,312 --> 00:10:14,089
He's like pretty small.
What else?
287
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,058
- Uh, cat videos.
- Yeah.
288
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:20,062
Uh, a lot of
hockey fights, drum solos.
289
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,363
Dick In A Box, cat videos,
290
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,900
hockey fights, and drum solos.
291
00:10:25,025 --> 00:10:27,569
I got it.
292
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,337
I'm gonna do dick in a box.
293
00:10:29,503 --> 00:10:31,156
Oh, okay, but then like instead,
294
00:10:31,281 --> 00:10:32,607
there's a cat in the box.
295
00:10:32,732 --> 00:10:34,242
And then, you take her
to a hockey game?
296
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:36,094
No, I'm gonna...
I'm doin' Dick In A Box.
297
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:38,221
Wait, are you gonna show up
to her house just like that?
298
00:10:38,387 --> 00:10:39,998
Mm, no, better to do it here
299
00:10:40,123 --> 00:10:41,282
'cause it's kinda where we met.
300
00:10:41,407 --> 00:10:44,227
It's like more romantic, right?
301
00:10:44,393 --> 00:10:47,139
Yeah.
302
00:10:47,264 --> 00:10:49,424
I'm like a romantic dude, actually.
303
00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:50,842
I'm just gonna sleep under her desk
304
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:51,927
and surprise her in the morning
305
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,945
when my dick is the hardest.
306
00:10:54,111 --> 00:10:55,697
I need to find a man
307
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,490
who is not afraid of commitment.
308
00:10:57,656 --> 00:10:59,300
You're going to.
Are you kidding me?
309
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:02,287
Alice, you are a dynamic,
310
00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,022
independent business babe.
311
00:11:04,147 --> 00:11:06,165
You're like the Stephanie
McMahon of Telamericorp.
312
00:11:06,331 --> 00:11:09,778
I'm on the wrong side of 35, Anders.
313
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:11,546
Clock's tickin'.
314
00:11:11,712 --> 00:11:14,950
Come on.
You're still...
315
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:17,419
You're still hot.
316
00:11:17,544 --> 00:11:19,679
I'm... I'm just saying.
317
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,306
Sorry.
318
00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:22,824
All right.
319
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,209
- That's her, right?
- Yeah.
320
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:25,627
Okay. Are you sure?
She looks kinda...
321
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:26,962
horny. She's horny.
They all are.
322
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:30,289
Come on, I know chicks.
323
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:35,778
Hi there, little lady.
You expecting anyone?
324
00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:39,866
Oh, my gosh.
Are you okay?
325
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:44,162
Stop talking.
Show her your dick.
326
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:52,712
Uh, you okay there?
327
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:54,964
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I...
328
00:11:57,758 --> 00:12:02,305
I'm sorry.
I... okay.
329
00:12:02,471 --> 00:12:03,389
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa.
330
00:12:03,623 --> 00:12:04,641
What...
331
00:12:05,091 --> 00:12:07,310
So are you around...
from around here, or...
332
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:08,895
what are you doing, you freak?
333
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:09,805
Get away from me.
334
00:12:09,930 --> 00:12:10,889
Yeah, go pour your beer
335
00:12:11,014 --> 00:12:12,065
on someone else's penis.
336
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:13,441
What the... freaks out there.
337
00:12:13,607 --> 00:12:14,593
They're crazy.
338
00:12:14,718 --> 00:12:16,051
I mean, if the guy was wearing
339
00:12:16,401 --> 00:12:18,529
like a milkman outfit, maybe, right?
340
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:20,239
What was that?
341
00:12:20,405 --> 00:12:21,349
We took a chance on you in there,
342
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,700
and you fucked us.
343
00:12:22,866 --> 00:12:24,936
Sometimes, women respond more
to conversation
344
00:12:25,061 --> 00:12:26,621
than just, you know,
pullin' out your wang.
345
00:12:26,787 --> 00:12:29,357
You are talkin' like you know chicks,
346
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:31,209
and I am the one who knows chicks.
347
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,778
Please give me another chance.
Please, please.
348
00:12:32,903 --> 00:12:34,062
I really... I won't mess it up.
349
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:36,081
- I promise.
- Okay.
350
00:12:36,206 --> 00:12:37,916
Listen, you come with me.
351
00:12:38,041 --> 00:12:39,334
And we're gonna get that little head
352
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,552
screwed on straight
so you can bang my boss,
353
00:12:42,212 --> 00:12:44,256
and I can have a fish fry
to honor my friends.
354
00:12:44,381 --> 00:12:45,264
All right?
You got it?
355
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,209
Got it.
356
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:50,520
Rob Koidry.
Just say "sorry" to your buddy.
357
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,438
What?
358
00:12:52,604 --> 00:12:55,274
Oh, don't be shocked.
It's just a fish.
359
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:58,736
Thanks for bringing me
back here to get my keys.
360
00:12:58,902 --> 00:13:00,196
Sure, yeah.
361
00:13:00,362 --> 00:13:01,989
You know, you were actually
kinda sweet tonight.
362
00:13:02,155 --> 00:13:03,950
I know, it just seemed like
you could use a friend.
363
00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,995
Oh.
Uh, what are you...
364
00:13:08,161 --> 00:13:09,914
I could use a little bit more
than that.
365
00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:11,666
Like... wait, what do you mean?
366
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:13,835
I wanna get my rocks off, stretch.
367
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:15,454
Okay, all right.
368
00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:16,988
Yeah, yeah, all right, let's...
369
00:13:17,113 --> 00:13:19,006
let's get our rocks off
with our socks off.
370
00:13:19,172 --> 00:13:20,575
No, keep your socks on.
371
00:13:20,700 --> 00:13:21,877
Pull your prick through your zipper,
372
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,378
and don't you dare kiss me.
373
00:13:23,503 --> 00:13:25,464
Is... okay.
374
00:13:25,589 --> 00:13:27,582
Always knew this was gonna happen.
375
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,385
What?
Whoa.
376
00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:32,019
Oh.
377
00:13:32,185 --> 00:13:34,021
I don't unders... don't bend it.
378
00:13:34,187 --> 00:13:36,023
Where are you?
379
00:13:36,189 --> 00:13:37,509
- I lost you.
- Oh.
380
00:13:37,634 --> 00:13:39,177
Wait, what?
It's in there.
381
00:13:39,302 --> 00:13:40,846
It's just you're not supposed
to bend down.
382
00:13:40,971 --> 00:13:42,063
Ow!
Oh, oh.
383
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:44,015
Jesus, you better add a finger.
384
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:45,517
A little rub-a-dub on the outside.
385
00:13:45,642 --> 00:13:47,235
On the inside, little fella.
386
00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:49,604
Okay, like that?
387
00:13:49,729 --> 00:13:51,289
- Make it two. Do it.
- Okay.
388
00:13:51,455 --> 00:13:53,074
- Do something to me.
- Okay.
389
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:54,743
Whoa.
Okay.
390
00:13:54,868 --> 00:13:56,294
Is that awesome or what?
391
00:13:56,460 --> 00:13:58,113
- That almost feels normal.
- Yeah.
392
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,147
- All right, hang on.
- Okay.
393
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:03,009
Oh... wait, no.
394
00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:07,054
Oh, gah.
That was, like, wow.
395
00:14:07,220 --> 00:14:09,040
Did you... you did too, right?
396
00:14:09,165 --> 00:14:11,459
Oh, whoa.
397
00:14:11,584 --> 00:14:14,763
A little aftershock
when you just pull away so fast.
398
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:16,014
Here, clean yourself off.
399
00:14:16,139 --> 00:14:19,217
And Anders, this didn't happen.
400
00:14:19,342 --> 00:14:21,861
- What didn't happen?
- The sex we just had.
401
00:14:22,027 --> 00:14:23,196
No, I know, we just did it.
402
00:14:23,362 --> 00:14:24,489
No, we didn't.
403
00:14:24,764 --> 00:14:26,841
Didn't what?
404
00:14:28,318 --> 00:14:29,786
I'm gonna go catch the bus.
405
00:15:06,257 --> 00:15:08,084
{pub}Ders!
Hey.
406
00:15:08,209 --> 00:15:10,953
- Hey, you bitch-ass traitor.
- Dude, what's on your dick?
407
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:12,171
It's a box.
408
00:15:12,296 --> 00:15:13,923
I cut a hole in a box.
409
00:15:14,048 --> 00:15:16,175
Step two, I superglued
my dick in a box
410
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:17,727
'cause I was asleep in Alice's office
411
00:15:17,852 --> 00:15:19,262
ready to gift her my penis
in the morning.
412
00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:20,763
"How 'bout you put an extra finger
413
00:15:20,888 --> 00:15:22,398
"in my ****
because your penis is so small?
414
00:15:22,523 --> 00:15:23,673
- I need more."
- Nope.
415
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:26,018
You took a beautiful, pure flower,
416
00:15:26,143 --> 00:15:28,637
and turned her into
a disgusting, whore flower.
417
00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,072
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.
418
00:15:30,197 --> 00:15:32,108
You better watch your tongue.
419
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:34,016
You arprobabe talkin' about
my future wife.
420
00:15:34,182 --> 00:15:35,945
I know how to settle this.
421
00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:38,331
We fight to the death in the pool.
422
00:15:38,456 --> 00:15:39,647
It's a pool-mite!
423
00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:40,983
I would love to fight to your death.
424
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,451
No, it's gonna be your death.
425
00:15:42,576 --> 00:15:43,870
Your death, buddy.
426
00:15:43,995 --> 00:15:46,205
Ho, ho, ho, your death, buddy.
427
00:15:46,330 --> 00:15:47,340
Be careful, I don't want you to die
428
00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:48,490
before we fight to your death.
429
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:49,509
It's gonna be your death.
430
00:15:49,634 --> 00:15:50,967
This is gonna get
431
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,911
my boss' basement flooded.
432
00:15:54,077 --> 00:15:55,746
Are you sure she's gonna
want me to look like this?
433
00:15:55,912 --> 00:15:57,832
You don't wanna get me
all worked up again, do you?
434
00:15:57,998 --> 00:15:59,333
That was a joke.
I was joking.
435
00:15:59,499 --> 00:16:01,168
You wanna know why I picked you?
436
00:16:01,334 --> 00:16:03,754
'Cause you and I,
we got the same problem.
437
00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,474
- You have a big one too?
- No... no.
438
00:16:05,599 --> 00:16:08,467
No, no, no, no,
upwards of four times smaller.
439
00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:11,197
It's like the size
of a little lego man.
440
00:16:12,573 --> 00:16:14,891
But you see, I'm walking hair.
441
00:16:15,057 --> 00:16:16,309
People see me for my mop.
442
00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,704
And I embrace that.
It's fine.
443
00:16:18,977 --> 00:16:22,241
And you, you have
this crazy-huge dong.
444
00:16:22,522 --> 00:16:24,275
You could tie it in a knot twice,
445
00:16:24,441 --> 00:16:26,412
and it would still be longer
than what I've got.
446
00:16:26,537 --> 00:16:28,070
- Yeah.
- That's you, man.
447
00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:29,298
I guess I always believed
448
00:16:29,423 --> 00:16:30,666
that I was meant for something more
449
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:32,301
than just my big package.
450
00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:34,160
You're not,
and that's a stupid attitude.
451
00:16:34,326 --> 00:16:35,805
You're nothing
but a walking, talking penis.
452
00:16:35,930 --> 00:16:36,973
That's pretty good lightin', right?
453
00:16:37,098 --> 00:16:38,581
Yeah, that's pretty good.
454
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:40,142
There's a little blind spot
over there, though.
455
00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,011
You know what?
It might actually be better
456
00:16:42,136 --> 00:16:44,180
'cause the shadows will like
play off our abs and stuff.
457
00:16:44,305 --> 00:16:45,481
That's true.
Yeah, a little shadow play.
458
00:16:45,606 --> 00:16:47,266
- Oh, yeah.
- Very good, very good.
459
00:16:47,391 --> 00:16:49,185
I'll look pretty cut
when I'm knockin' you out.
460
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:50,820
Knockin' me out?
Are you kidding?
461
00:16:50,945 --> 00:16:52,553
We better empty our pockets, man.
462
00:16:52,719 --> 00:16:53,856
Good call.
Very true.
463
00:16:53,981 --> 00:16:55,264
I don't wanna break my phone.
464
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,193
Dude, if I land on my keys, yowza.
465
00:16:57,318 --> 00:17:00,363
- Very smart, very smart.
- Oh, man.
466
00:17:00,488 --> 00:17:02,198
I like that case too.
That's a cool new case.
467
00:17:02,323 --> 00:17:03,898
- That's fun.
- Keep calm, bazinga.
468
00:17:04,064 --> 00:17:05,034
- Bazinga!
- Whoa!
469
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,455
- Good knee.
- Thanks.
470
00:17:09,580 --> 00:17:11,040
You did it to me earlier.
471
00:17:11,165 --> 00:17:13,593
That's how I got the idea
to do it to you!
472
00:17:16,504 --> 00:17:18,496
- Ow.
- You are so dead.
473
00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:26,689
- You had enough?
- Yeah.
474
00:17:26,814 --> 00:17:28,172
You got me.
475
00:17:30,151 --> 00:17:31,968
You want some of this?
476
00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:34,230
I'm gonna give you some.
477
00:17:34,355 --> 00:17:35,781
Give it to me, pal.
478
00:17:52,904 --> 00:17:54,000
Hey! Hey!
479
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,995
This is not... I said
we needed a professional, man.
480
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:01,007
Come on.
We are runnin' out of time.
481
00:18:01,132 --> 00:18:02,425
That's it, I'm gettin' outta here.
482
00:18:02,550 --> 00:18:04,010
You've lost your minds.
Let's go, Girth.
483
00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:05,251
- Let's go.
- My keys!
484
00:18:21,660 --> 00:18:25,146
{pub}What, ah... can I help you?
485
00:18:28,773 --> 00:18:31,178
"Wanna get railed to the max, trick?"
486
00:18:31,303 --> 00:18:33,154
Okay, what the hell is this,
you creep?
487
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,882
All right, I knew that wasn't
gonna work, I'm sorry.
488
00:18:35,007 --> 00:18:36,449
Put that helmet back on, you bitch!
489
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,367
Blake?
490
00:18:38,533 --> 00:18:39,920
What the hell are you doing here?
491
00:18:40,045 --> 00:18:41,805
You know this guy?
492
00:18:41,930 --> 00:18:42,997
Alice.
493
00:18:43,163 --> 00:18:44,191
I can explain.
494
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:47,361
Um, but first, I have to apologize
495
00:18:47,486 --> 00:18:48,595
for Girthquake here.
496
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:49,897
You know what?
Let me just show you
497
00:18:50,022 --> 00:18:51,282
what all the hype's about, okay?
498
00:18:51,407 --> 00:18:52,407
Here, pull the tremor out your pants.
499
00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:53,867
Whoa.
No.
500
00:18:53,992 --> 00:18:55,619
You know, you gotta see
the Girth-worm, baby.
501
00:18:55,744 --> 00:18:57,071
- I don't want to see it.
- It's big. Where is it?
502
00:18:57,196 --> 00:18:59,096
- Is it on this side?
- Blake, what is...
503
00:18:59,498 --> 00:19:01,075
Stop!
No, no.
504
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:02,493
- Sorry.
- Do not do that.
505
00:19:02,766 --> 00:19:03,726
Pull it out, man!
Come on!
506
00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:08,465
Show it right now.
Show it, show it.
507
00:19:08,590 --> 00:19:11,901
- Oh, this is for bitches.
- Come on, guys.
508
00:19:12,428 --> 00:19:15,923
What the hell is happening?
Stop.
509
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,675
We just wanted an office fish fry
510
00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,634
so that I could eat my fish friends,
511
00:19:19,908 --> 00:19:21,178
but you were in a bad mood.
512
00:19:21,303 --> 00:19:23,647
So we tried to hook you up
with a dude, you know?
513
00:19:23,772 --> 00:19:25,039
And like this is the guy.
514
00:19:25,205 --> 00:19:27,208
I cannot believe you guys did this
515
00:19:27,374 --> 00:19:28,435
for a fish fry.
516
00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,645
Do you know how idiotic that is?
517
00:19:31,169 --> 00:19:32,906
I know I have been in a funk lately.
518
00:19:33,031 --> 00:19:36,944
I'm just having a rough time,
you know,
519
00:19:37,069 --> 00:19:38,719
looking for love or whatever.
520
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:40,748
- Is it your period?
- And... and I'm on my period.
521
00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:42,199
- Oh.
- Ew.
522
00:19:42,324 --> 00:19:43,917
Look, just please don't tell anyone
523
00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:46,227
at the office
about any of this, okay?
524
00:19:46,393 --> 00:19:49,146
- Any of what?
- Don't, she won't even...
525
00:19:49,312 --> 00:19:50,940
I will let you have your fish fry.
526
00:19:51,106 --> 00:19:52,960
- All right.
- Yes!
527
00:19:53,085 --> 00:19:55,879
Whoo!
528
00:19:56,004 --> 00:19:57,297
It's a dick in a box, right?
529
00:19:57,422 --> 00:19:58,849
Yeah.
Here, no, throw me...
530
00:19:58,974 --> 00:20:02,603
throw me in...
throw me into the big wave.
531
00:20:02,728 --> 00:20:05,955
Hey.
532
00:20:06,121 --> 00:20:07,674
Wanna go inside and make some coffee?
533
00:20:07,799 --> 00:20:09,443
- Talk about it?
- No.
534
00:20:09,568 --> 00:20:10,944
You're a hooker.
535
00:20:11,069 --> 00:20:14,713
Go slang your dick
on someone else's corner.
536
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:16,450
A fish fry!
A fish fry!
537
00:20:16,575 --> 00:20:20,738
- It's a fish fry, y'all.
- Yeah, baby, fish fry.
538
00:20:20,863 --> 00:20:23,848
- Oh.
- Where are my friends?
539
00:20:24,014 --> 00:20:26,142
Are you talkin' about
them nasty-ass Koi fish?
540
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:27,661
I threw them suckers in the garbage.
541
00:20:27,786 --> 00:20:30,146
They was rotten.
You should thank me.
542
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:31,632
Thank you?
543
00:20:31,757 --> 00:20:34,034
Thanks to you, we've got a fryer...
544
00:20:34,159 --> 00:20:35,568
- Hey, hey.
- And no fish.
545
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:36,887
Hey, did you... what about bagels?
546
00:20:37,012 --> 00:20:38,612
Did you ever have any bagel friends?
547
00:20:38,778 --> 00:20:41,675
We could fry some bagels.
It's the same thing.
548
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,544
- Huh?
- No, I got a better idea.
549
00:20:44,669 --> 00:20:45,995
I thought a bagel... well.
550
00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:49,883
Aw, hell no.
551
00:20:50,008 --> 00:20:52,501
This some Jim and Dwight bullshit.
552
00:20:52,667 --> 00:20:54,378
Did these two just did this?
553
00:20:54,544 --> 00:20:58,382
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
554
00:20:58,432 --> 00:21:02,982
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
39196
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