Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,195 --> 00:00:04,097
Hi. I'm comedian Tom Green
with a special one-time offer.
2
00:00:04,124 --> 00:00:05,449
Say yes now and receive a case
3
00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:07,991
of premium Canadian sausage
for only $39.99.
4
00:00:08,015 --> 00:00:09,577
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
5
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:11,535
- Yes.
- Magnificent.
6
00:00:11,554 --> 00:00:14,349
Now please enter your credit card info
using your touch-tone phone.
7
00:00:14,984 --> 00:00:16,455
And there you have it.
8
00:00:16,486 --> 00:00:20,347
Telecom intelligence negotiating
algorithm, or "Tina,"
9
00:00:20,380 --> 00:00:24,130
gives callers two offers in a
variety of celebrity voices,
10
00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,261
as you just heard.
11
00:00:25,284 --> 00:00:28,155
Tom Green? You should have
got Scott Caan.
12
00:00:28,176 --> 00:00:30,154
- Shut up, he's a huge celebrity.
- Whoa, watch it. Yeah.
13
00:00:30,172 --> 00:00:31,927
Someone needs to put a muzzle on him,
14
00:00:31,946 --> 00:00:34,279
- 'cause I hate you.
- Uh, real question.
15
00:00:34,296 --> 00:00:37,780
If Tina is making the calls,
why are we here?
16
00:00:37,811 --> 00:00:41,028
Well, if Tina doesn't make the sale
within the first two offers, then...
17
00:00:41,053 --> 00:00:42,241
Oh, I get it.
18
00:00:42,277 --> 00:00:44,062
Then we come in and clean bat up.
19
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:47,920
'Cause this cold machine lacks
the soft touch of a human...
20
00:00:48,220 --> 00:00:50,868
touching a machine.
21
00:00:51,191 --> 00:00:52,959
It lacks human error.
22
00:00:52,984 --> 00:00:56,661
And Tina persists
where you would feel intrusive.
23
00:00:56,691 --> 00:00:59,282
Okay, so what's the catch?
24
00:00:59,313 --> 00:01:02,389
Well, if Tina does make the sale
25
00:01:02,413 --> 00:01:04,776
before your assistance is needed,
26
00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,313
you don't get the commission.
27
00:01:06,331 --> 00:01:07,785
- Just your hourly.
- What?
28
00:01:07,812 --> 00:01:09,096
Is this a joke?
29
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:10,863
Uh, you know, I-I get it.
30
00:01:10,881 --> 00:01:13,492
Gonna be less work for us,
and we're still getting paid hourly.
31
00:01:13,505 --> 00:01:15,101
Exactly, thank you, stretch.
32
00:01:15,149 --> 00:01:17,415
No, you don't get it!
33
00:01:17,839 --> 00:01:19,683
This is just the beginning, guys.
34
00:01:20,052 --> 00:01:22,930
All right, if we let
these machines take our jobs,
35
00:01:23,129 --> 00:01:25,978
next... next, they're
gonna take everything.
36
00:01:26,009 --> 00:01:28,355
Okay, Blake, you're overreacting.
37
00:01:28,380 --> 00:01:29,628
Overreacting?
38
00:01:29,662 --> 00:01:32,760
I'm pretty sure that
I'm underreacting right now.
39
00:01:33,512 --> 00:01:35,627
Just imagine a future...
40
00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:37,747
Where robots replace humans,
41
00:01:37,772 --> 00:01:42,531
evolving to be faster, smarter,
and just way more freaking doper.
42
00:01:43,328 --> 00:01:45,075
Where humans become obsolete,
43
00:01:45,099 --> 00:01:47,547
and they're forced
by their ruler, Tina,
44
00:01:47,623 --> 00:01:51,725
to undergo a cyborg surgery
known as orientation.
45
00:01:51,997 --> 00:01:54,475
And it'll only be a matter of time
46
00:01:54,493 --> 00:01:56,695
before they come for us all.
47
00:02:04,482 --> 00:02:08,482
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
48
00:02:09,472 --> 00:02:12,881
Congrats, your bum will soon be on your
very own Swedish massage chair.
49
00:02:12,900 --> 00:02:14,315
Now please enter
your credit card info
50
00:02:14,327 --> 00:02:15,430
using your touch-tone phone.
51
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:17,048
- Swedish.
- Wow.
52
00:02:17,073 --> 00:02:18,182
Cool.
53
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,205
Another sale stolen by Tina.
54
00:02:20,217 --> 00:02:22,553
And another one of our commission
checks stuffed into the pockets
55
00:02:22,578 --> 00:02:25,341
of Tina's real comfortable
cyber wranglers.
56
00:02:25,354 --> 00:02:26,524
Oh, yeah, just face it.
57
00:02:26,536 --> 00:02:29,765
Tom Green is Freddy-got-
finger-raping us all day.
58
00:02:29,778 --> 00:02:31,832
- Yeah.
- Oh, dude, check this out.
59
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,959
Look what I snuck past
the last merry maids sweep.
60
00:02:33,989 --> 00:02:35,648
Thank God.
61
00:02:35,779 --> 00:02:38,603
That huff, huff...
Huffy white heat.
62
00:02:38,653 --> 00:02:40,998
- Huff! Huff!
- Except for it's not hot.
63
00:02:41,016 --> 00:02:43,126
- It's actually very cold, so...
- It's cold.
64
00:02:43,207 --> 00:02:44,850
Just be careful with it, all right?
65
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:46,678
- Pretty cool, I guess.
- Yeah.
66
00:02:46,696 --> 00:02:47,921
- Ooh!
67
00:02:47,958 --> 00:02:50,636
- That's crispy.
- That's a nimbus cloud in there.
68
00:02:50,655 --> 00:02:52,091
I've actually done so much
of this stuff,
69
00:02:52,122 --> 00:02:54,046
I don't even think it really
affects my brain anymore.
70
00:02:54,214 --> 00:02:55,871
Is that right?
71
00:02:57,089 --> 00:02:58,358
Hey, but don't hog it all.
72
00:02:58,370 --> 00:02:59,741
I know it's
gonna sizzle-fry my brain,
73
00:02:59,766 --> 00:03:01,797
but, I'm sorry,
this whole impending doom thing
74
00:03:01,819 --> 00:03:03,366
is really getting to me,
so if I could just have
75
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,159
a huff of the hot...
uh... The heat?
76
00:03:05,195 --> 00:03:06,645
Well, you know, it's...
77
00:03:06,657 --> 00:03:08,726
Just abandon all hope here.
78
00:03:09,469 --> 00:03:11,641
- What the heck? What'd you do, man?
- I didn't do anything.
79
00:03:11,655 --> 00:03:12,729
Mm.
80
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,311
We didn't do anything!
81
00:03:15,336 --> 00:03:17,719
Good. That's the way I like it.
82
00:03:17,741 --> 00:03:19,583
But that's all about to change.
83
00:03:19,811 --> 00:03:22,221
So, you've finally come
84
00:03:22,233 --> 00:03:25,076
to have me slave away in your vagina,
85
00:03:25,105 --> 00:03:26,713
as your sex slave.
86
00:03:26,744 --> 00:03:27,899
That's fine.
87
00:03:28,015 --> 00:03:29,734
I'll have sex with you.
88
00:03:29,795 --> 00:03:32,039
But I will never love you, Alice.
89
00:03:32,281 --> 00:03:33,726
I will never love you!
90
00:03:33,757 --> 00:03:35,663
Step aside, you troll.
91
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,236
Oh, good one: Troll.
92
00:03:37,248 --> 00:03:39,665
- Yeah, right.
- I'm here for Blake.
93
00:03:39,700 --> 00:03:41,438
Oh, 'cause of his hair?
'Cause you're into trolls?
94
00:03:41,463 --> 00:03:44,061
No. Because it's time
for his orientation.
95
00:03:44,078 --> 00:03:45,080
Oh, fuck, sorry.
96
00:03:45,086 --> 00:03:47,341
Alice, please, I haven't
even lived yet, all right?
97
00:03:47,366 --> 00:03:49,981
I didn't even get to try
Carl's Jr.'s CrissCut fries.
98
00:03:49,992 --> 00:03:52,678
- Seriously?
- Yeah, you know. I'm an onion ring guy.
99
00:03:52,879 --> 00:03:54,314
Montez, Waymond, no! Don't!
100
00:03:54,332 --> 00:03:57,245
- Take me instead!
- Yeah, take him instead.
101
00:03:57,269 --> 00:03:59,340
I understand that Tina's
what's best for T.A.C.
102
00:03:59,361 --> 00:04:00,695
and I'm ready.
103
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:02,895
I'm ready to become...
104
00:04:03,198 --> 00:04:04,789
an Oriental.
105
00:04:12,507 --> 00:04:14,751
No!
106
00:04:16,387 --> 00:04:17,710
Sorry.
107
00:04:17,836 --> 00:04:19,207
Strap him to the table.
108
00:04:19,225 --> 00:04:20,889
I can't be a cyborg, man.
109
00:04:20,945 --> 00:04:23,216
They don't even have any cool...
they're just idiots.
110
00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,693
They just have metal in their brains.
111
00:04:25,722 --> 00:04:28,298
If you had, like, a laser dick,
then, yeah, I'd be a cyborg.
112
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:29,732
But there's nothing enticing me.
113
00:04:29,763 --> 00:04:31,754
Look, this is what we gotta do.
We gotta go save Ders
114
00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:33,174
and get the hell outta
this hell, all right?
115
00:04:33,205 --> 00:04:34,424
Yeah, where are we gonna go, Blake?
116
00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:35,801
I don't know.
Let's freaking feivel it.
117
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:37,282
- Let's go west.
- To the ocean?
118
00:04:37,301 --> 00:04:38,895
Sh-yeah, right.
119
00:04:38,952 --> 00:04:40,243
I'm not an ocean dog, okay?
120
00:04:40,262 --> 00:04:41,646
I'm a city cat.
121
00:04:42,540 --> 00:04:45,039
All right, fine.
Let me think of another direction.
122
00:04:46,974 --> 00:04:47,892
- East.
- Yes.
123
00:04:47,908 --> 00:04:49,375
Let's head east, to the heartland!
124
00:04:49,406 --> 00:04:50,750
- Yeah.
- Vegas.
125
00:04:50,775 --> 00:04:52,469
- Vegas, I love it there!
- Right?
126
00:04:52,527 --> 00:04:53,610
There we go.
127
00:04:53,790 --> 00:04:55,175
Now, let's ice our brains down,
128
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:56,845
and formulate
a well-thought-out plan.
129
00:04:56,858 --> 00:04:57,746
Wait a minute.
130
00:04:57,767 --> 00:05:00,406
- What did you just say?
- Hmm?
131
00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:01,667
Yes, that's it.
132
00:05:01,691 --> 00:05:03,064
The freeze part,
that's what I was thinking.
133
00:05:03,083 --> 00:05:04,874
The freeze part.
Dude, you're a genius!
134
00:05:05,649 --> 00:05:06,581
I don't know.
135
00:05:06,610 --> 00:05:07,895
...using your touch-tone phone.
136
00:05:11,203 --> 00:05:12,119
Yeah.
137
00:05:12,125 --> 00:05:13,588
There we go.
138
00:05:13,622 --> 00:05:14,924
Whoo! Oh! Oh!
139
00:05:14,936 --> 00:05:16,032
- Oh, sorry.
- That's okay.
140
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:18,081
Hey, Adam, what comes after "l"?
141
00:05:18,337 --> 00:05:19,895
- I don't... I...
- Bow!
142
00:05:22,231 --> 00:05:23,373
- Oh.
- Shiz-off!
143
00:05:23,385 --> 00:05:24,446
- Dude!
- Oh, my God!
144
00:05:24,464 --> 00:05:26,790
I'm so excited about this.
We could... okay.
145
00:05:26,816 --> 00:05:28,724
- We could die doing this.
- Great, let's save Ders.
146
00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:31,160
We could die, this is exciting.
147
00:05:31,417 --> 00:05:33,322
I think we're good now. Ooh!
148
00:05:33,352 --> 00:05:34,871
- Blake! Adam!
- Shut up.
149
00:05:34,917 --> 00:05:36,155
- Shh, shh.
- We're getting out of here.
150
00:05:36,173 --> 00:05:37,665
Take us with you!
Take us with you, man!
151
00:05:37,683 --> 00:05:39,658
- Yeah, save us.
- No, sorry, we can't.
152
00:05:39,664 --> 00:05:42,094
Yeah, but, um,
we're always gonna remember you,
153
00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:43,571
and we'll never forget you, so...
154
00:05:43,633 --> 00:05:44,984
Take this yo-yo.
155
00:05:45,027 --> 00:05:47,407
It belonged to my father.
156
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,276
Television set.
157
00:05:49,611 --> 00:05:51,032
Give it to your sons.
158
00:05:51,055 --> 00:05:52,546
Very cool.
Cool yo-yo.
159
00:05:52,577 --> 00:05:54,840
- Thank you, I'm gonna treasure this.
- Don't go.
160
00:05:54,871 --> 00:05:57,032
- Yep.
- Guys, please don't leave us, okay?
161
00:05:57,051 --> 00:05:58,738
I cannot survive in here.
162
00:05:58,778 --> 00:06:00,457
All right, I-I love you, Jet Set.
163
00:06:00,469 --> 00:06:02,246
But he shit all over the walls.
164
00:06:02,654 --> 00:06:04,811
- And I can't... this smell...
- You pooped on the walls?
165
00:06:04,827 --> 00:06:07,366
- I couldn't hold it no more.
- I can smell it now.
166
00:06:09,729 --> 00:06:11,438
I'm sorry, guys,
we'll come back for you.
167
00:06:11,463 --> 00:06:12,633
We gotta go.
168
00:06:13,999 --> 00:06:15,943
Oh.
169
00:06:15,974 --> 00:06:17,728
It's okay.
170
00:06:18,156 --> 00:06:20,509
Relax, Holmvik.
171
00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:22,967
Once you've been oriented,
172
00:06:22,979 --> 00:06:25,914
all the fear, the emotions,
173
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,730
they just disappear.
174
00:06:27,911 --> 00:06:29,821
Then why don't you try it?
175
00:06:30,052 --> 00:06:33,916
Because I run Telamericorp,
and Tina answers to me.
176
00:06:35,391 --> 00:06:37,001
Prep the patient.
177
00:06:37,407 --> 00:06:38,164
What?
178
00:06:38,189 --> 00:06:39,427
What are you doing?
179
00:06:39,492 --> 00:06:41,756
What? No!
Oh, no!
180
00:06:41,780 --> 00:06:43,933
You're changing the molecular
structure of my flesh!
181
00:06:44,046 --> 00:06:45,601
Please don't!
182
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,558
No, we're just shaving your body.
183
00:06:47,846 --> 00:06:48,591
Oh.
184
00:06:48,597 --> 00:06:49,568
Okay.
185
00:06:49,646 --> 00:06:50,995
Been there, done that.
186
00:06:51,493 --> 00:06:52,631
Spa day.
187
00:07:03,563 --> 00:07:04,837
{pub}So, once we get to Vegas,
188
00:07:04,862 --> 00:07:06,560
thinking about doing
a Cirque Du Soleil show
189
00:07:06,585 --> 00:07:07,667
based on the music of Nelly.
190
00:07:07,679 --> 00:07:09,382
- Wait a minute.
- What?
191
00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:12,385
I mean, if Murphy Lee
and the St. Lunatics
192
00:07:12,403 --> 00:07:15,336
want to be involved, that's fine.
But it's really... it's Nelly's show.
193
00:07:15,693 --> 00:07:17,403
Tina's mainframe.
194
00:07:17,984 --> 00:07:20,045
That's where
the lifeblood's generated.
195
00:07:20,057 --> 00:07:22,402
Destroying the mainframe
would wipe out the mind control
196
00:07:22,414 --> 00:07:24,334
of everybody who's been
oriented-tated.
197
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:26,114
Very cool.
We can't get in there, though,
198
00:07:26,144 --> 00:07:27,842
because we don't have
Alice's collar key.
199
00:07:27,860 --> 00:07:29,959
So let's just focus
on what I'm saying, okay?
200
00:07:29,984 --> 00:07:31,089
Let's go get Ders.
201
00:07:31,114 --> 00:07:32,828
Do you have air force ones?
'Cause you're gonna need those.
202
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:35,542
Um, I have G Unit sneakers.
203
00:07:35,572 --> 00:07:38,407
Once ingested,
this probe will map your body,
204
00:07:38,441 --> 00:07:40,904
and we can begin the implant process,
205
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:44,023
orienting you to Tina's mainframe.
206
00:07:49,418 --> 00:07:50,477
Yeah.
207
00:07:50,501 --> 00:07:52,765
Don't worry, you'll pass it soon.
208
00:07:52,790 --> 00:07:53,821
TMI.
209
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,683
Position the optical
excavation device.
210
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:59,708
Time to scoop out
them eyeballs, stretch.
211
00:08:03,306 --> 00:08:05,336
No!
212
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:07,589
No! No, no, no!
213
00:08:07,614 --> 00:08:09,620
Watch eyes! Watch eyes!
Waymond, please, please!
214
00:08:09,639 --> 00:08:11,804
I know you can hear me!
Tell her to stop!
215
00:08:11,844 --> 00:08:13,672
Don't let her do this!
216
00:08:15,181 --> 00:08:17,882
Good thing yo-yo strings
are long as hell in the future.
217
00:08:17,907 --> 00:08:18,905
Whoop!
218
00:08:18,929 --> 00:08:20,967
Just what do you think you're doing?
219
00:08:21,002 --> 00:08:22,068
We're escaping to Vegas.
220
00:08:22,093 --> 00:08:23,819
Unless you want me
to be your sex puppet.
221
00:08:23,849 --> 00:08:25,731
Put your hand up my ass,
make me talk.
222
00:08:25,749 --> 00:08:27,138
Come on, let's get out
of here! Let's go!
223
00:08:27,157 --> 00:08:28,560
Let's move! Let's move!
Let's move!
224
00:08:28,910 --> 00:08:30,760
Oh, yeah, and, Alice...
225
00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,411
- We quit.
- Yeah.
226
00:08:33,442 --> 00:08:34,721
Yeah, we quit.
227
00:08:34,752 --> 00:08:36,623
Come on! Hup!
228
00:08:37,004 --> 00:08:39,091
After them now!
229
00:08:41,996 --> 00:08:43,069
Damn it.
230
00:08:43,088 --> 00:08:45,435
I am not running after them
in these heels.
231
00:08:45,565 --> 00:08:46,995
Let's head back to the office.
232
00:08:47,007 --> 00:08:48,790
We'll activate
the probe's tracking signal,
233
00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:51,804
and then we'll trigger the defense mech,
in case they try to discharge.
234
00:08:51,889 --> 00:08:53,427
Damn it.
235
00:08:53,562 --> 00:08:54,471
What are they talking about?
236
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,485
They fed me this probe thing.
237
00:08:57,618 --> 00:08:59,195
Oh, my God.
238
00:08:59,827 --> 00:09:01,426
I can feel it. Oh.
239
00:09:02,081 --> 00:09:04,045
Oh, God!
240
00:09:04,071 --> 00:09:05,511
It's too late to abort it,
241
00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,171
which is exactly what my mom used
242
00:09:07,190 --> 00:09:08,646
to say about me.
243
00:09:08,824 --> 00:09:10,505
I'm gonna have to murder you.
I'm gonna have to murder him.
244
00:09:10,524 --> 00:09:11,724
- No, Adam, no...
- Wait, wait...
245
00:09:11,748 --> 00:09:13,103
He's not Oriental yet.
246
00:09:13,128 --> 00:09:14,187
Look at his eyes.
247
00:09:14,199 --> 00:09:16,418
You could tell he's Oriental
by his eyes.
248
00:09:16,499 --> 00:09:18,327
But we do got
to get that probe out of him.
249
00:09:22,056 --> 00:09:23,434
- Oh.
- Oh, God. Ooh.
250
00:09:23,669 --> 00:09:25,068
I think I know how to get it out.
251
00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:26,622
- Huh? What?
- How?
252
00:09:27,201 --> 00:09:28,648
- What are you...
- What are you doing?
253
00:09:28,672 --> 00:09:30,129
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
254
00:09:30,152 --> 00:09:31,707
Tracker on.
255
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:34,075
Get to the supply closet now!
256
00:09:35,993 --> 00:09:38,164
Defense mech armed.
257
00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:39,796
You hear that? I'm beeping.
258
00:09:39,815 --> 00:09:41,684
- Yeah, get it out, Ders.
- Get it out.
259
00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:42,847
- Can you hear it?
- Stop playing.
260
00:09:42,866 --> 00:09:44,196
I could kill him,
I could still kill him.
261
00:09:44,215 --> 00:09:47,150
Yeah, man, this is an option.
262
00:09:47,507 --> 00:09:48,631
Oh, look.
263
00:09:50,842 --> 00:09:52,404
Oh, my God, it's a tapeworm!
264
00:09:52,428 --> 00:09:54,595
I've had one of those.
17 feet long.
265
00:09:54,626 --> 00:09:56,785
Doctor told me I had
to quit eating raw ground beef.
266
00:09:56,828 --> 00:09:58,007
Which I did.
267
00:09:58,099 --> 00:09:58,933
For a while.
268
00:09:58,958 --> 00:10:00,489
It's not a tapeworm!
269
00:10:00,507 --> 00:10:02,308
It's the thing!
Obviously.
270
00:10:02,338 --> 00:10:03,642
- Yes, obviously.
- Right, totally.
271
00:10:03,666 --> 00:10:05,531
Come over here,
and help me get it out.
272
00:10:05,575 --> 00:10:08,103
- Keep pulling it out of your ass.
- All right, you're okay.
273
00:10:08,128 --> 00:10:10,462
- I think you... you got this.
- All right, uh...
274
00:10:11,849 --> 00:10:14,038
All right, here we go.
275
00:10:14,141 --> 00:10:15,739
- Okay.
- Oh, wait, no, no, no.
276
00:10:15,758 --> 00:10:17,525
- Not a pretty view.
- Slow down, slow down.
277
00:10:17,544 --> 00:10:18,503
I think something's coming.
278
00:10:18,521 --> 00:10:20,402
Oh, yeah, no, that's it.
That's the probe.
279
00:10:20,446 --> 00:10:21,718
I see something.
280
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,091
Yep, yep.
Oh, here we go!
281
00:10:24,097 --> 00:10:25,501
We got some lights.
282
00:10:25,548 --> 00:10:27,104
Oh!
283
00:10:27,141 --> 00:10:28,963
- Ooh!
- Oh God!
284
00:10:29,049 --> 00:10:30,499
We got it!
Destroy it, Adam!
285
00:10:30,512 --> 00:10:31,627
- Destroy it.
- Yep.
286
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,183
- Okay. Yeah.
- You get it?
287
00:10:35,292 --> 00:10:36,157
No, I hear it.
288
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:37,291
It's still beeping inside of me.
289
00:10:37,316 --> 00:10:38,997
We're not done, guys,
it's still in there!
290
00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,039
To the left, hurry!
291
00:10:41,051 --> 00:10:42,555
And bring them back alive.
292
00:10:42,799 --> 00:10:43,886
Barely.
293
00:10:44,180 --> 00:10:45,500
- Yep.
- It's still in there.
294
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:47,289
It's still in there.
Okay, okay.
295
00:10:47,314 --> 00:10:48,444
Round two, here we go.
296
00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:50,020
Yeah, no.
297
00:10:50,048 --> 00:10:51,641
- You got it.
- Keep it up.
298
00:10:51,659 --> 00:10:53,083
Good work.
299
00:10:53,455 --> 00:10:54,957
Yep, I got it snagged.
300
00:10:59,210 --> 00:11:01,492
- Oh!
- Boy! Yikes!
301
00:11:01,651 --> 00:11:04,189
Yes, you're gonna have a case of
"the hemmies" after this one.
302
00:11:04,208 --> 00:11:05,251
Fissures and hemmies.
303
00:11:05,263 --> 00:11:06,803
You might never poop again, dude.
304
00:11:06,835 --> 00:11:08,482
Which would suck for me,
I love pooping.
305
00:11:08,494 --> 00:11:10,427
It's, like, where I get most
of my reading done.
306
00:11:11,299 --> 00:11:13,808
Great. You've got them cornered.
307
00:11:14,369 --> 00:11:15,636
You know what?
308
00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:16,799
Kill 'em.
309
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:18,286
No, guys...
guys, stop!
310
00:11:18,298 --> 00:11:19,405
Stop, okay?
311
00:11:19,436 --> 00:11:21,605
I'll just be a cyborg.
Forget it, all right?
312
00:11:21,630 --> 00:11:24,047
Just stop pulling things out
of my ass!
313
00:11:24,078 --> 00:11:25,575
Okay, I'll help.
314
00:11:27,765 --> 00:11:29,542
- Oh!
- There it is! There it is!
315
00:11:29,716 --> 00:11:31,879
- Oh! Oh!
- Break it! Hurry.
316
00:11:32,633 --> 00:11:33,875
Break it and destroy it!
317
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,680
Come on!
318
00:11:35,995 --> 00:11:37,323
Okay, it's indestructible.
319
00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:38,698
Don't we have, like, a steamroller
320
00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:40,156
or, like, lava or...
321
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:41,712
What do we do?
322
00:11:45,210 --> 00:11:46,642
Wait, what are you doing, you idiots?
323
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:47,881
Finish them!
324
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,761
They're heading down
the South hallway.
325
00:11:50,799 --> 00:11:52,521
They're
heading towards my office!
326
00:11:52,734 --> 00:11:53,884
Wait, they're coming for me!
327
00:11:53,890 --> 00:11:55,800
Get here now!
328
00:12:21,273 --> 00:12:23,204
{pub}Damn it!
It's Bill.
329
00:12:23,523 --> 00:12:24,540
We're not getting past him.
330
00:12:24,571 --> 00:12:25,765
He's so deadly.
Look at him.
331
00:12:25,803 --> 00:12:27,153
Ow!
332
00:12:29,023 --> 00:12:30,567
Um, mirrors.
333
00:12:31,187 --> 00:12:32,920
If we can find several mirrors...
334
00:12:33,061 --> 00:12:35,473
Shh, Adam.
Trying to come up with an idea here.
335
00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:36,458
Dude!
336
00:12:36,477 --> 00:12:38,833
Hey, have you guys seen Kill Bill?
337
00:12:39,085 --> 00:12:40,629
Volume one or two?
338
00:12:40,664 --> 00:12:42,111
Volume now.
339
00:12:47,910 --> 00:12:49,210
Aah!
340
00:12:54,982 --> 00:12:55,714
I got him!
341
00:12:55,733 --> 00:12:57,484
- Bill!
- No!
342
00:12:57,503 --> 00:12:59,629
- Oh, sheesh.
- Ugh.
343
00:12:59,989 --> 00:13:00,862
All right.
344
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,652
Bill! No!
345
00:13:04,328 --> 00:13:06,074
Adam, you can't kill them!
346
00:13:06,098 --> 00:13:08,492
Bill, he's still in there.
He's just under mind control.
347
00:13:08,529 --> 00:13:09,541
- Yeah.
- Oh, I thought he...
348
00:13:09,575 --> 00:13:10,918
I thought he was like an evil robot.
349
00:13:10,936 --> 00:13:11,912
No! Oh!
350
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:13,337
You didn't know.
He didn't know.
351
00:13:13,349 --> 00:13:16,101
Cyborgs are totally different
than evil robots, okay?
352
00:13:16,160 --> 00:13:18,042
- Think of Robocop, right?
- Yeah, yeah.
353
00:13:18,061 --> 00:13:20,296
He would have those flashbacks
to when he was a man.
354
00:13:20,327 --> 00:13:22,238
Oh, so he's actually...
he's half-human.
355
00:13:22,263 --> 00:13:23,610
- Yes, he's still human.
- I killed a human!
356
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:24,972
- You killed a human, dude.
- Oh, my gosh.
357
00:13:24,990 --> 00:13:27,243
- Oh, sorry, Bill.
- Yeah.
358
00:13:27,353 --> 00:13:29,317
Okay, we hop over the fence.
359
00:13:29,629 --> 00:13:31,265
Hop on a plane, if they still exist,
360
00:13:31,289 --> 00:13:33,554
and be the kings
of the Las Vegas strap.
361
00:13:33,572 --> 00:13:35,503
Attention, Jillian and Jet Set,
362
00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:37,520
prepare for orientation.
363
00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:39,010
Your time is now.
364
00:13:39,477 --> 00:13:40,537
Jet and Jill.
365
00:13:40,576 --> 00:13:41,687
You guys, we got to do something.
366
00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:42,901
I know what they're about
to go through.
367
00:13:42,932 --> 00:13:43,851
Uh-uh, no.
368
00:13:43,863 --> 00:13:45,701
This is a trap.
This is trickery!
369
00:13:45,713 --> 00:13:47,113
This is Tomfoolery!
370
00:13:47,138 --> 00:13:48,242
Let's go to Vegas!
371
00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:50,628
Vegas!
372
00:13:50,672 --> 00:13:54,211
No, don't you see?
This isn't just about saving those guys.
373
00:13:54,437 --> 00:13:56,930
It's about taking back Telamericorp.
374
00:13:57,130 --> 00:13:59,623
Reclaiming the company
that gave us nothing.
375
00:14:00,116 --> 00:14:03,694
It's a dirty job, but...
Somebody's gotta Mike Rowe it.
376
00:14:03,949 --> 00:14:05,364
- Hey, Blake?
- Huh?
377
00:14:05,598 --> 00:14:07,940
Fuck yo speech! Whoo!
378
00:14:07,971 --> 00:14:09,265
- You had to say that.
- Vegas!
379
00:14:09,307 --> 00:14:11,407
No! Aah!
380
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:12,937
Help!
381
00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:14,855
Adam, I got you!
382
00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:21,555
Oh, I gotta...
I gotta get a gif of this!
383
00:14:21,636 --> 00:14:23,603
Ders... Get... Us... Off!
384
00:14:24,258 --> 00:14:25,992
Okay, all right.
385
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:29,033
Ders, get me off!
386
00:14:32,159 --> 00:14:34,048
- Oh, my God!
- You think that was funny?
387
00:14:34,092 --> 00:14:35,102
- I'm sorry.
- You think that was...
388
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,293
- let me see it!
- I'm...
389
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:37,654
- let me see it!
- Sorry.
390
00:14:37,779 --> 00:14:38,929
Aah!
391
00:14:39,154 --> 00:14:40,157
Oh, this is funny.
392
00:14:40,186 --> 00:14:41,548
- Huh?
- This is actually really funny.
393
00:14:41,573 --> 00:14:42,807
- It's pretty funny, right?
- That was good.
394
00:14:42,832 --> 00:14:44,387
- Thank you.
- Okay, all right.
395
00:14:44,393 --> 00:14:45,887
Let's go back and save the day!
396
00:14:45,903 --> 00:14:47,148
End tyranny!
397
00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:49,034
Find the switch for the fence!
398
00:14:49,084 --> 00:14:50,995
Oh, I got a boner for some reason.
399
00:14:51,148 --> 00:14:54,517
All right, now we find Alice,
and we force her to free the people.
400
00:14:54,548 --> 00:14:55,415
- Yep.
- Or...
401
00:14:55,452 --> 00:14:58,900
She forces me to fuck her
or whatever, huh?
402
00:14:58,924 --> 00:15:00,439
No, Adam, we have to stop her, okay?
403
00:15:00,450 --> 00:15:01,574
This ends now.
Come on, let's do this.
404
00:15:01,604 --> 00:15:03,092
Yes, that's a better plan than mine.
405
00:15:03,117 --> 00:15:05,236
Oh, damn.
Jillian's a fembot.
406
00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:07,248
- Really?
- Oh, they all are.
407
00:15:07,272 --> 00:15:08,709
Knuckle up, motherfuggers.
408
00:15:08,727 --> 00:15:09,684
Mm, why do you have that?
409
00:15:09,709 --> 00:15:11,258
- Huh? 'Cause.
- Yeah.
410
00:15:11,281 --> 00:15:12,320
- 'Cause why?
- Why?
411
00:15:12,332 --> 00:15:13,784
- It was in my butt, dude.
- That was in his anus.
412
00:15:13,815 --> 00:15:16,200
To study...
Because the, um...
413
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,397
Just go fight your one,
already, please.
414
00:15:19,422 --> 00:15:21,282
- Yeah, go, you got him.
- All right, wish me luck.
415
00:15:21,307 --> 00:15:22,891
- Good luck.
- Whoo!
416
00:15:25,717 --> 00:15:27,444
Whoa.
Whoo!
417
00:15:27,468 --> 00:15:29,520
You are a bitch, cyborg Montez!
418
00:15:29,538 --> 00:15:30,643
You are a bitch!
419
00:15:32,059 --> 00:15:33,079
Sorry, Jet Set!
420
00:15:33,434 --> 00:15:34,748
- Yeah!
- Oh!
421
00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:40,339
- Oh, was that a roundhouse?
- You know it.
422
00:15:40,357 --> 00:15:42,000
Whatever happened
to roundhouses, dude?
423
00:15:43,355 --> 00:15:45,300
I don't wanna do this, Jillian.
424
00:15:46,530 --> 00:15:47,665
- Oh!
- Whoa.
425
00:15:47,683 --> 00:15:50,176
- Oh!
- Blake, stop messing around!
426
00:15:50,196 --> 00:15:51,390
I'm not messing around.
427
00:15:51,408 --> 00:15:53,305
She's crushing my testicles.
428
00:15:53,339 --> 00:15:55,717
Ow!
Oh, oh.
429
00:15:55,834 --> 00:15:58,974
Let's see if I can crush
her testicles.
430
00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,879
Oh!
431
00:16:09,090 --> 00:16:11,155
Oh!
Oh, ow.
432
00:16:11,200 --> 00:16:12,452
Swim dive!
433
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:14,022
Yeah... oh!
434
00:16:15,566 --> 00:16:18,211
Guys!
The xerox machine.
435
00:16:18,445 --> 00:16:19,530
Copy that.
436
00:16:21,366 --> 00:16:23,887
Attack!
Now! Eww, oh!
437
00:16:25,154 --> 00:16:26,678
Come on, Demamp!
438
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,480
Triple dude attack!
439
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:30,741
Oh!
440
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:32,677
Oh, nice.
Come on, let's go!
441
00:16:32,722 --> 00:16:34,633
- All right.
- Oh.
442
00:16:38,352 --> 00:16:40,722
Oh, hi.
443
00:16:41,273 --> 00:16:42,850
Sorry, I was just...
444
00:16:43,250 --> 00:16:44,294
I was just eating.
445
00:16:50,111 --> 00:16:52,851
{pub}All you had to do was
go through orientation.
446
00:16:52,881 --> 00:16:55,559
But no, you had to cause problems.
447
00:16:55,590 --> 00:16:59,115
Yeah, 'cause "cause problems"
is my middle name.
448
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,359
Yeah!
And being a cyborg?
449
00:17:01,390 --> 00:17:02,634
Well, that's overrated.
450
00:17:02,672 --> 00:17:04,381
And that's something
I never thought I'd say.
451
00:17:04,468 --> 00:17:07,554
And we're here to put an end
to the reign of Tina.
452
00:17:07,752 --> 00:17:09,966
Good luck with that, stretch.
453
00:17:12,840 --> 00:17:15,073
- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!
454
00:17:15,097 --> 00:17:17,087
Tom Green!
Wow, really big fan.
455
00:17:17,105 --> 00:17:18,459
- Really big fan.
- I'm a huge fan.
456
00:17:18,757 --> 00:17:20,898
My bum is on the cheese.
457
00:17:21,143 --> 00:17:23,045
- My bum is on the cheese.
- Cyber Tom Green,
458
00:17:23,058 --> 00:17:25,797
that's... that's awesome,
but you need to shut it down.
459
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:26,964
- Yeah.
- Because soon enough,
460
00:17:26,976 --> 00:17:28,444
the cyborgs,
they're gonna come for you.
461
00:17:28,475 --> 00:17:32,301
These machines would die for me,
because they need me to survive.
462
00:17:34,181 --> 00:17:36,354
Oh, what, do you have
a problem with that?
463
00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:39,242
Kill them already.
464
00:17:43,223 --> 00:17:45,323
Oh!
465
00:17:46,902 --> 00:17:48,844
- Swedish?
- Something happened.
466
00:17:48,863 --> 00:17:50,675
The machines!
They're taking over!
467
00:17:51,296 --> 00:17:52,977
- Now what are you doing?
- The key card!
468
00:17:52,995 --> 00:17:54,736
We've gotta get to the mainframe!
469
00:17:55,888 --> 00:17:56,911
Screw it!
470
00:17:56,935 --> 00:17:58,735
Poor Alice,
she's never gonna bang me.
471
00:18:01,286 --> 00:18:02,753
Daddy, would you like some sausage?
472
00:18:03,140 --> 00:18:04,642
Daddy, would you like some sausages?
473
00:18:04,769 --> 00:18:06,605
Sausages! Sausages!
474
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:08,596
Get in and barricade the door!
Barricade the door!
475
00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:15,004
'Sup, Tina?
You naughty little computer.
476
00:18:15,041 --> 00:18:16,937
Oh, I'm gonna drain you.
477
00:18:16,987 --> 00:18:19,301
I'm gonna drain you good.
478
00:18:19,729 --> 00:18:22,232
Come on!
479
00:18:22,273 --> 00:18:23,909
- Shut her down, Demamp!
- There it is!
480
00:18:23,928 --> 00:18:25,344
We can't hold him much longer!
481
00:18:25,369 --> 00:18:27,649
I'm trying!
It's much harder than it looks!
482
00:18:27,688 --> 00:18:30,442
All right, well...
try a "come hither" motion.
483
00:18:30,565 --> 00:18:33,158
Oh, I'm "hithering."
Oh, I'm "hithering," baby!
484
00:18:33,164 --> 00:18:33,908
"Hither" harder!
485
00:18:33,935 --> 00:18:37,227
Come on!
You come for me!
486
00:18:37,849 --> 00:18:38,976
Oh!
487
00:18:39,011 --> 00:18:40,034
- Oh, my God.
- Okay.
488
00:18:40,059 --> 00:18:41,456
Please, not my face!
489
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,832
- Uh, something's happening.
- Something good?
490
00:18:43,954 --> 00:18:47,650
Something... Beautiful!
491
00:18:50,856 --> 00:18:51,956
Oh!
492
00:18:54,427 --> 00:18:58,586
Oh, come on!
Oh, oh, oh.
493
00:19:01,349 --> 00:19:04,512
Hey, uh, it's...
it's way over.
494
00:19:04,543 --> 00:19:05,725
- Yeah?
- Yeah, it's...
495
00:19:05,742 --> 00:19:07,348
- Yeah, we did it?
- Yeah. - You got him.
496
00:19:08,852 --> 00:19:11,300
Oh, no!
Oh, my God!
497
00:19:11,452 --> 00:19:13,365
We killed my hero.
498
00:19:15,184 --> 00:19:16,385
Jeez!
499
00:19:16,925 --> 00:19:18,685
Where am I?
500
00:19:19,061 --> 00:19:21,740
- I don't remember anything.
- Well, uh...
501
00:19:21,792 --> 00:19:23,312
- Well, you were a robot...
- Yeah.
502
00:19:23,331 --> 00:19:24,290
And then now you're...
503
00:19:24,296 --> 00:19:25,705
you're just normal-ass Tom Green,
504
00:19:25,723 --> 00:19:27,296
- which is pretty cool.
- Cyborg.
505
00:19:27,335 --> 00:19:28,551
Yeah, and actually...
506
00:19:28,613 --> 00:19:30,090
We are your childhood friends.
507
00:19:30,138 --> 00:19:31,381
- So...
- Yep.
508
00:19:31,406 --> 00:19:32,772
- Like, your best friends.
- Welcome back.
509
00:19:32,803 --> 00:19:34,451
- Yeah.
- What's up, buddy?
510
00:19:34,470 --> 00:19:36,948
- Thanks, guys.
- Yeah, we do what we have to.
511
00:19:37,308 --> 00:19:39,134
- Thanks, guys.
- Hey! They're okay!
512
00:19:39,166 --> 00:19:42,119
Uh-huh.
513
00:19:42,279 --> 00:19:44,067
Oh, my God.
We're heroes!
514
00:19:44,179 --> 00:19:45,945
Well, uh, I don't know about that.
515
00:19:45,975 --> 00:19:47,886
- We... we killed Bill, actually.
- Yes.
516
00:19:47,943 --> 00:19:49,940
Very sorry about that.
I did kill Bill.
517
00:19:49,946 --> 00:19:51,024
- Murdered.
- That was my bad.
518
00:19:51,049 --> 00:19:51,855
I murdered him.
519
00:19:51,886 --> 00:19:54,897
I actually hope he's banging
Alice's dead body in the afterlife.
520
00:20:00,763 --> 00:20:03,109
"Bang dead Alice"?
521
00:20:03,615 --> 00:20:06,830
- Oh, um... I meant...
- You know what?
522
00:20:06,861 --> 00:20:08,795
Shut up, okay?
Honestly, I think that was
523
00:20:08,826 --> 00:20:10,804
the dumbest story I have ever heard.
524
00:20:10,831 --> 00:20:12,727
I can't believe you let him
tell it for so long.
525
00:20:12,751 --> 00:20:14,982
This is just a prototype
for a pilot program.
526
00:20:15,020 --> 00:20:16,352
We're not gonna
be implementing anything
527
00:20:16,371 --> 00:20:18,447
- for, like, another year.
- Oh!
528
00:20:18,477 --> 00:20:19,888
Well, you should have
said that right away.
529
00:20:19,913 --> 00:20:22,413
- Yeah, we're gonna quit by then.
- We'll probably be dead by then.
530
00:20:22,446 --> 00:20:24,402
Please, let's just get back
to the phones, now.
531
00:20:24,414 --> 00:20:26,615
- All right.
- All right, I swear to God...
532
00:20:26,812 --> 00:20:28,383
- Dude, I gotta try that!
- Right? That's got to...
533
00:20:30,500 --> 00:20:32,028
Do not know.
534
00:20:32,048 --> 00:20:34,029
Jillian, are you okay?
535
00:20:34,159 --> 00:20:36,576
- Somebody call 911!
- Are you choking?
536
00:20:36,604 --> 00:20:38,414
Get out of the way!
537
00:20:38,553 --> 00:20:40,356
Blake!
538
00:20:40,943 --> 00:20:42,728
- Help her!
- I don't know what to do!
539
00:20:42,758 --> 00:20:45,418
- Somebody help!
- Oh! Oh, God!
540
00:20:45,513 --> 00:20:47,182
Aah! Aah!
541
00:20:54,007 --> 00:20:55,609
All right, enough!
542
00:20:55,643 --> 00:20:58,142
God, Blake, do you ever shut up?
543
00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:03,359
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther
544
00:21:03,409 --> 00:21:07,959
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38309
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.