All language subtitles for Workaholics s03e17 The Worst Generation.eng

And that is what we call
the hammer tire!

The sledgehammer does not come
with your Demamp Camp:

Working Out With Tires DVD purchase.

Blake, you get that?

God damn it, Adam. Yes.
We got it.

Hey, Blake,
don't talk to me like that.

Ders, did we get that?

That argument for the
behind-the-scenes camera?

Oh, no, no, no, this camera's not
behind-the-scenes footage, okay?

This is my MTV True Life:

I'm in a M?nage A Braj.

Heh, heh, M?nage A Braj.

- Let's focus, all right?
- All right, yep.

We're missing some exercises here.

- Let me check the list.
- Pffft.

We got the tire hammer.
We got tire jump.

- Tire wiggle.
- Yep.

- Tire waggle.
- Got it.

- The tire flip lift!
- Yes.

- That's right.
- Good call, good call.

Blake, you getting this?

Oh, I'm getting it, baby.
We got it.

This next exercise,
your bis might turn into tris,

while your tris might turn
into God knows what.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Oh!

My shoulders!

We gotta get you to a hospital!

- Pop it back into place!
- No, no, no.

- I'm gonna pop it back!
- No, don't...

Ohhh!

That made it so much worse!

Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

- Let me out.
- I cannot believe

they let you walk out of
the E.R. looking this way.

We gotta get you fixed.

Yeah, for 2,000 bucks?
Yeah, right.

I'm saving up for hair plugs
for when I need them

- in the future.
- Well, what's the deal, man?

I thought you had insurance.

We laughed so much times at those

- Geico Gecko commercials.
- Mm-hmm.

I guess my Grandpa must have
taken me off his plan,

which is fine,
'cause I hate that man.

Don't wanna be on his stupid
insurance anyways.

Could you let me out of here?

You can't live like this,
Adam, come on.

You have to start the wave today
at Jillian's hockey game.

- I can lead the wave.
- I can...

Okay, that actually hurts a lot.
I'll do it next time.

Doesn't matter.
Could you open the door?

All right, fine, it's settled.

We're gonna go see Gramps Demamp.

Yep. 'Cause you know what?

You're lucky you even have a grandpa.

I never even met mine.

I bet he was awesome.
I be he had crazy hair.

Yeah, I bet he did.

I mean, old people are really cool.

They're like...
they're like the crypt keeper.

- They just tell you stories.
- Yeah, or like young wizards.

Fine. I'll tell you guys.

My grandfather touched me as a kid.

- In the butt hole.
- What?

Okay, he didn't actually touch me.
He refused to hug me.

I am not gonna go see my Grandpa!

You let me out of this car right now.

No, we're taking you
to see him, all right?

- Blake, map it. We're going.
- Got it.

Hi. Here to see George Demamp.

He's my grandfather.

If he's dead, I'm okay with that.

You act like you wouldn't
care, but you would.

You would cry.
Sign in, please.

Whoa, check it out, guys.

This dude throws knives into cats.

That's a gun and a coyote.
You can tell from the snout.

- Oh.
- But yeah, this is my day job.

My real passion is animal control.

My little line is,
"the animals in here

are way worse
than the coyotes out there."

That's a good joke.

- That's clever.
- That's funny.

- Thank you.
- It's not clever.

And it sure as hell
isn't a good joke.

The people that walk these halls
built this country, okay?

- It's my little line.
- All right.

Which room is my dumb, stupid,
fat, ugly Grandpa in?

Gun one, gun two...

Hey, Grandpa!

Oh.

Well, well, well.

Look who it is.
Short-wide.

Mm, good one.

You come out of the closet yet?

No.

Only closet I'm in is the one
that I'm trapped in.

With R. Kelly, watching a rap opera.

Ah, cut the crap.
I know why you're here.

You want to weasel
back onto my health insurance,

you damn freeloader.

I'm not a freeloader, okay?

It's just I can't afford health insurance,
and I expect it to be free.

- I have to go to the hospital.
- Hospital?

Hospital didn't help me
when I rode a Jeep

out of a B-52 at 35,000 feet...

- It was 25,000 last time.
- 35,000 feet,

had to parachute
into enemy territory,

and took eight bullets up my ass.

Yeah.

But you don't know anything about that
because you've never been in a war!

Yeah, I've never been in a war

'cause there's never been
any big wars for me to serve in!

Oh, jeez, you know,
I don't have time for this.

I've got my annual Luau,

and I am in charge of the pig.

And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Holly.

Aunt Holly has a glandular disorder.

Hey, could you hold that door?

I actually can't open doors!

Ow! Ow!

I demand...

Why did you bring your flip cam?

'Cause I'm changing the plan.

It's gonna be MTV True Life:

I'm into old people.
I don't care.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Check out this old Braj.

Oh, man. This dude is sick!

I'm talking, like, terminally chill.

He is chill.

I'm just gonna need a fresher angle
than some aged rocker.

I mean, W.W.K.L.D.?

What would Kurt Loder do?

Old people have been around
since the dawn of time.

They have stories and messages.
Here's one now.

Hey, ma'am, can I ask you
a few ques...

we'll find a better one than that.

Hey, nice shot.

I know.

Is it okay if I ask you
a couple questions?

Questions?

Just questions about your life.

You know, I feel like people
of your generation

have such wisdom that you can share.

Why don't you tell me
about what you did

before you lived here?

I traveled to the world's
best cities,

and in exchange,

I married a rich man I didn't love.

- Yeah.
- But enough about me.

- Shoot.
- I-I don't know how to play.

My dad never let me in the
billiards room growing up, so...

Oh, that's heartbreaking.

Maybe I can help you.

Ow.

All right, I'll start low?

Now, before you shoot...

Close your eyes,

and put it in.

Is everything okay in here?

It's fine, Mark.
Just fine.

Why don't we go somewhere where
we can be a little more private?

All right.

Whoo!

Yeah!
That was awesome, man!

Where'd you learn
how to play like that?

I roadied for ZZ Top.

Plus I started taking
guitar lessons last year.

I love ZZ Top.

They're like the champagne
of beer-drinking music.

Brother, I could tell you
some stories.

I would love to hear those.

Oh, my gosh.
What are you...

what are you doing?

I... you got a cigarette in your neck.

Hey, you can't smoke in here.

He can't smoke in here.

And he knows that, because we've
been through this, Arthur.

Haven't we?

I don't get to have
any fun in this dump.

They took away my cigarettes.

They took away my booze.

I can't even steal any pills anymore.

I mean, what is wrong
with young people today, huh?

They need to respect their elders'...

desire to do as many drugs
as they want.

You seem to me to be
a pretty righteous hombre.

I wish you were my grandpa.

I tell you what.

You run some interference for me,

help me score some pills,

you can call me
anything you want, son.

I know that I haven't been
in, like, a war war.

But last spring, I got
in a fight at a dodgers game,

and yeah, he beat me up pretty good.

It was a very, very violent
Mexican man.

But I got the first laugh.

But you're too fat to fight.

Go home, short-wide.
I got a pig to carve.

And I'm not talking
about your Aunt Silvia.

Stop it! You stop!

Ow!

Ow.

I am not a pussy.

And I'm gonna prove it to you.

I'm gonna launch off this roof
at 7 miles per hour

like a war helicopter.

Then I'm gonna deploy this bed sheet

as my parachute...

And gently drop down to safety.

You're gonna die.

So would your girlfriend
be mad if she knew

you were all alone
in another woman's room?

No, I don't even have a girlf...

I'm between girlfriends right now.

Models is what I'm usually dating,

but no, this is
strictly journalistic, so...

well, come and get your scoop.

I know what you're doing, but...

your husband's
sleeping right there.

Oh, honey, my husband's
been sleeping there

for the last six years.

Drop your pants,

and I'll tell you everything
you want.

All right, I just...

I really want to be on MTV True Life.

Have you seen it?

It's pretty good.

Oh, not so fast, Bronco.

- Ow.
- I may not be old,

but I am old-fashioned.

So, uh, dance for me first.

Right? And then a little bit of this.
It's not the butterfly.

It's the tootsie roll.
Know what I mean?

Nice day.

- Uh-huh.
- What kind of enchiladas

were those, huh?
Road kill?

Mm-hmm.

Wouldn't mind if we had
some smooth pudding

every once in a while.

Oh! Oh!

I'm coming, sir.

- Oh, bacon bits!
- Okay.

Oh, just the tip of my hip...

no, no need to touch, really!

No, it's fine.

You got witch hands.

- No.
- You got witch hands, okay?

Oh, so tell me about the '60s.

Did you march, and for what side?

What happened?
Did somebody hit the emergency...

Peggy, Jesus Christ.
Not again.

Again?

Nice, I think we got 'em, man.

Hey! You are not two old men.

You are an old man, but you are not.

And in conclusion,

as the civil rights activist

Dr. Martens Luther King once said,

take yee sleazy.

And I'm out.

Ow, my shoulders!

Oh, God!

Oh, God!

Damn it.

Okay, you three, guess what.

Go to your rooms,
and say aloha to the Luau.

But make it the good-bye aloha,
'cause you're not going.

Get. And you three,
get the hell out of here.

Don't film me.

Don't film me anymore.

This is all your fault.

- Blake.
- See ya, Grandpa.

This sucks.

I finally get a grandpa
worth keeping and loving,

and his beard slips
right through my fingers.

Yeah, and I might as well
call my true life

MTV True Life: I can't make
an MTV True Life to save my life.

- This isn't over. Mm-mm.
- No, it's not.

You still need insurance
from your Gramps.

I need to prove to that
old turd that I'm a real Demamp.

I'm gonna steal
his wrinkly ass out of here,

and then I'm gonna take him
to the yard,

and the yard is our house,

and I'm gonna bark at him
like a big dog,

'cause I'm a big dog,
and I'm ready to...

Howwwl!

- What are you talking about?
- I don't know, man.

I'm in a lot of pain right now.
I think I might die.

Lady and old dudes,

welcome to the inautical
our Luau for old people party.

Hey, what's up?

- Jillian!
- Hey!

- Where's the Luau stuff?
- What is this?

I don't know.
It's a Luau.

It's a different kind of Luau.

Luau? Blake texted me Lou Albano.

- What?
- I thought he meant, like,

"Captain Lou" Albano,
the wrestling manager

and Cindy Lauper's dad.

Ohhh, yeah, psh.
Look at that.

Phone must've auto-corrected
Luau to Lou Albano.

Wow, that's insane.

How often are you texting
the words "Lou Albano"?

I don't know.

Like, four to five times a week.

But what's up with all the cool, uh,

hip, happening chicks, Jillian?

Oh, this is my hockey team.

We were gonna go to the bar

after our big win,
but this seemed like more fun.

Yeah, bunch of crazy Russian bitches.

No, they're dolls.
They're sweet girls.

- Oh, I bet.
- What's up, babies?

You know the mouth of the South
ain't gonna miss

a "Captain Lou" Albano party
with hockey chicks!

Slash-Luau.

It's me.
Uh, it's Karl.

I'm dressed as Jimmy Hart.

So how does our Luau compare
to your old folks' Luau?

I like this one a lot better.

Thank you.
We worked kind of...

Oh, I see what you're...

God, you're...
hey! Here's the deal.

I'll let you have a dance, one song,

but then you gotta answer
one of my questions.

- Sure thing, babe.
- All right.

Have a good...

have a good time.

Ahh.

- Now, this is my kinda party.
- Yeah.

- What's going on here?
- Russian drinking game.

No pussy men allowed.

Whoa, okay,
USA all the way, all right?

I bet 20 bucks my Gramps here
could drink y'all

Dolph Lundgrenettes under the table.

- Let's go.
- All right.

Show 'em who's boss.

Mm-hmm.

- Whoo!
- Ahh.

- Yeah!
- Lina.

- We need more vodka.
- Why?

We got plenty of good alcohol
right here.

Oh, no, that's hand sanitizer.

That's not...

Ah.

Want some?

He beat me.

Straight up.
Pay him.

Pay this man his money.

Whoo!

Anybody got any hard drugs?

USA.

Uh-oh.

Grandpa.
He's just taking a nap.

- Grandpa...
- Whoo!

Anybody got any hard drugs?

Grandpa, I know you think
I pussed out earlier,

but I'm gonna prove to you
once and for all

I'm a real Demamp, starting now.

- Jillian, you ready?
- Yep.

- Okay.
- On action, okay? Ready?

Yep.
Grandpa, you watching?

- And action.
- Yo.

What it is?
Adam Demamp here,

here with Demamp Camp:
Working Out With Tires.

As you saw earlier,
I de-located both of my arms

doing my classic dead tire flip lift.

But I plan on doing the impossible

to prove to my grandfather
that I'm not a pussy.

That's him right there, although that
has nothing to do with the video.

But I shall do it right now,

1,000 times in a row,
starting right now.

Okay. Are you getting this?

Grandpa, are you watching?

Oh!

- Oh, my back!
- Adam...

I ripped my back muscle in half!

Hey, I'm so sorry to interrupt.

Is it okay if I borrow
your dance partner, just for a second?

Get over here.

I don't know what your endgame is,
but that old horny lady over there

thinks you're a guy,
so unless you want her

to find out otherwise,

you better answer some questions
for my new documentary, MTV True Life:

I'm a Russian lesbian hockey
player living in America,

maybe legally.

How about I just beat your ass?

I don't fight girls.

Oh! No, please!

Oh, yes!

I love it when they fight over me.

Fight, fight!

You're dancing with a woman.

Oh, and one...

And two... And three!

That's it.
We got a new winner.

We've got a winner!

She knocked you out like a bitch!

Russian whip-its.

Oh, dear.

It will blow the hair
right off your babushka.

We want to keep the hair on
his babushka today, thank you.

- Okay...
- Ha, ha, ha!

Hockey team...
hey, no!

See what you...

Great. All right.

Do you need to go
to the restroom, or what?

- Yeah, I...
- He can't breathe.

He can't breathe.
He can't breathe!

CPR! Anybody?

- Blake...
- I got you, Grandpa.

Uh, just, uh,
split the mustache, and...

- no, no, no!
- And kind of just...

no! Mouth to neck.

- Huh?
- Mouth, neck.

- You got to help me, Grandson.
- Oh, no, no.

Maybe this is just your time
to go, my old man.

I can't breathe.

You got to help your old Grandpa.

Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, fine, fine.

Uh...
Uh...

Eh... Uh...
Ugh...

- Oh! Oh!
- I'm good.

I got your... I got your
throat spluge on my mouth!

Oh, my God!

That was a rush.
Do you wanna keep it going?

Just give me
the health insurance, please!

Just give me the health insurance!

Please! I don't know what else to do.

Oh, Jesus!

Oh, fuck, now I burned my hand.

Just made it in time.

George! Hey!

It's time to go home.

Oh, I don't think so, Mark.

You took my pig away from me.

And I'm not talking
about this piece right here.

So sayonara.

Yeah... no. No.

Your Grandpa's a total dick.

Grandpa!

Come on.
All right, all right, all right.

- Keep them in the truck.
- Saved your life, man.

I saw George heading west.

He's not gonna get far
on those artificial hips.

Tranq gun.

No. He's my Grandpa.

I got this.

Oh! Oh, that hurt.

Yeah. Okay.

- West is the other way.
- Okay.

Yeah. Ugh.

You hiding from me?

I'm a way better hiderer
than you'll ever be.

Oh, I found you.

I... you... agh! Ow!

Jeez.

Get back here!

Ow.

I'm gonna shoot you so hard!

Come on.

Jeez, it's like Double Dare in here.

Jesus, how many plants
does this... ugh.

What's happening?

You have a beautiful home. I love it.

Ow. Is this marble?
It's beautiful.

Hey! You get back here!

Get back here!

You get back here right now!

Get down!

Get down!

Whoo! Whoooo!

Oh!

- Agh.
- Man down.

Sorry about that. Family stuff.
You guys have grandpas, right?

Grandpa? Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry.

There was no other way.

No, no, it's okay.

I'm proud of you because...

You proved yourself to be a real man.

Unlike me.

- What?
- I'm not a war hero.

I got a dishonorable discharge
because...

I shot myself in the leg
to avoid combat.

And the only reason
I was so hard on you

was because I didn't want you
to end up like me.

I'm a loser.

You're not a loser.

You are a Demamp.

It's not in our T.N.A.

I'm gonna put you
back on the health insurance.

You know why?

Why?

Because you learned
how to take a punch.

Ow!

Fuck!

Welcome to Demamp Camp:

Fully insured.

On this new edition,

I will be showing you
a brand-new exercise

that I just created using my
own brain and intelligence.

It's called "the roof-fly-delt-pump".

Basically, you get a running start,

pump your delts so hard that you come

to a nice, soft landing,
because you've just flown

for a few seconds.

Let's do this!

Come on, here we go. Yeah!

- Ohhh!
- Oh! Adam!

Blake, we get it?

Dude, you don't have
to keep asking me

if we got... oh.

Actually, I ran out of batteries.

Ders, did you get it?

Yeah, did you get
the behind-the-scenes?

Yeah, I got it.

MTV True Life:

I'm trying to get on Tosh.0.

Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com Resync for WEB-DL by Norther

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0