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1
00:00:00,249 --> 00:00:03,353
So Lance Bass, I think,
was originally the star,
2
00:00:03,478 --> 00:00:05,122
and then Justin Timberlake,
like, knocked him
3
00:00:05,247 --> 00:00:06,069
off his throne.
4
00:00:06,194 --> 00:00:07,858
Yeah, and he went and started
the Backstreet Boys.
5
00:00:07,983 --> 00:00:09,268
- No.
- Mm-hmm.
6
00:00:09,393 --> 00:00:11,484
Well, then who's
in the Backstreet Boys?
7
00:00:11,609 --> 00:00:12,610
Josh.
8
00:00:12,735 --> 00:00:14,847
Joshua? Yeah, Josh was
the star of the Backstreet Boys.
9
00:00:14,972 --> 00:00:15,952
Dude, and he's still doing it.
10
00:00:16,077 --> 00:00:17,768
- Yeah, he's a talent.
- He had a single...
11
00:00:18,831 --> 00:00:20,228
Homegirl's passed out.
12
00:00:20,394 --> 00:00:22,423
Man, I would not
be sleeping on the job
13
00:00:22,548 --> 00:00:24,158
if I was the self-proclaimed
office prankster.
14
00:00:24,283 --> 00:00:25,660
Seriously.
15
00:00:25,785 --> 00:00:27,194
Especially a week after
she put Fluffernutter
16
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,029
on my friggin' headset.
17
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,572
And spermicide on my doughnut.
18
00:00:30,738 --> 00:00:32,658
Those were funny, dude.
19
00:00:32,824 --> 00:00:34,618
It's payback time.
20
00:00:34,784 --> 00:00:37,788
I'm gonna be the biggest monkey
21
00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:41,041
I'm gonna be the biggest
monkey of 'em all
22
00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:43,877
all your biting and your
barking will be in vain
23
00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:47,346
you see me standing right
on top of the food chain
24
00:00:51,342 --> 00:00:53,053
I'm gonna make
the other monkeys fear me
25
00:00:53,219 --> 00:00:55,454
"Four inches is fine!"
26
00:00:55,721 --> 00:00:57,823
Be the biggest monkey
27
00:00:58,099 --> 00:01:00,686
I'm gonna be the biggest
monkey of 'em all now
28
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:04,773
What are you idiots doing?
29
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:05,983
I don't have a pulse.
30
00:01:13,163 --> 00:01:14,960
Uh... Honeybun?
31
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:28,380
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
32
00:01:28,546 --> 00:01:31,223
- Quit hogging it.
- Yeah, come on.
33
00:01:31,348 --> 00:01:34,011
Now just be sure you get all the
ghost off of there, all right?
34
00:01:34,177 --> 00:01:35,494
- All the ectoplasm.
- Ugh.
35
00:01:35,619 --> 00:01:38,056
- Oh, gross, dead people.
- This is weird.
36
00:01:38,222 --> 00:01:39,832
I mean, Homegirl's dead.
37
00:01:39,957 --> 00:01:41,800
Office prankster... gone.
38
00:01:41,925 --> 00:01:45,704
Well, now that she's dead,
I can let you guys know...
39
00:01:45,829 --> 00:01:47,566
That I'm the main office prankster.
40
00:01:47,732 --> 00:01:50,068
- Okay.
- Yeah, no, I did Fluffernutter,
41
00:01:50,234 --> 00:01:52,677
spermicide, that's my shib.
42
00:01:55,538 --> 00:01:56,575
I cannot believe
43
00:01:56,906 --> 00:01:58,702
you would pull that
spermicide prank on me.
44
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:02,186
I can't believe you knew
exactly what spermicide
45
00:02:02,311 --> 00:02:03,498
tasted like.
Ugh!
46
00:02:04,046 --> 00:02:05,709
It was a wild guess.
47
00:02:05,875 --> 00:02:08,170
Have you been deep-throating
condoms, just to see if you can?
48
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:10,228
- Mm-mm.
- Okay, well, I just think
49
00:02:10,353 --> 00:02:13,564
maybe the best thing to do
is remember all the great times
50
00:02:13,689 --> 00:02:15,232
- that we had with Homegirl.
- Right.
51
00:02:15,509 --> 00:02:19,936
- That's probably the...
- Mmm...
52
00:02:20,061 --> 00:02:21,604
We never really talked.
53
00:02:21,891 --> 00:02:23,406
Mm, yeah, I don't really
remember any amazing times
54
00:02:23,531 --> 00:02:24,907
that I had with Homegirl.
55
00:02:25,186 --> 00:02:26,605
- Yeah, me neither.
- Except for that time when
56
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:28,648
we were just tea-bagging
her eye socket a second ago.
57
00:02:28,814 --> 00:02:30,380
That was great.
58
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:32,611
But then she ruined
it by being a dead lady.
59
00:02:32,777 --> 00:02:34,183
- Yeah.
- Yeah, she did.
60
00:02:34,308 --> 00:02:35,947
That said, still butthurt.
61
00:02:36,113 --> 00:02:37,620
- I'm butthurt, man.
- You know the one thing
62
00:02:37,907 --> 00:02:40,256
easing my butthurtedness
is the fact that
63
00:02:40,381 --> 00:02:41,995
we're probably gonna
have work off tomorrow.
64
00:02:42,161 --> 00:02:43,392
Whoa, I didn't even think of that.
65
00:02:43,517 --> 00:02:44,861
- Yes, of course we are!
- That's awesome.
66
00:02:44,986 --> 00:02:46,529
Of course we are, it's a death day.
67
00:02:46,654 --> 00:02:48,039
It's like a snow day,
but it's a death day.
68
00:02:48,164 --> 00:02:49,666
And check this out.
I got a Swedish pen pal in town.
69
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:50,933
She's in Vegas right now.
70
00:02:51,058 --> 00:02:52,168
Wants to come to Hollywood,
71
00:02:52,293 --> 00:02:53,469
which is where I told her we live.
72
00:02:53,594 --> 00:02:55,300
- We don't.
- Smart, very smart.
73
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:57,166
I know.
I can't say Rancho Cucamonga.
74
00:02:57,291 --> 00:02:58,741
They don't know what that is.
They're from Sweden!
75
00:02:58,866 --> 00:03:00,109
They're not gonna know.
76
00:03:00,234 --> 00:03:01,848
- Yeah, swedes don't know anything.
- Yeah, you gotta say Hollywood.
77
00:03:02,485 --> 00:03:04,814
Hey, Ders, is this the same
chick that you told us about
78
00:03:04,939 --> 00:03:06,650
where you squeezed her boob
through her sleeve
79
00:03:06,775 --> 00:03:08,084
while watching Gladiator
in your friend's basement?
80
00:03:08,209 --> 00:03:09,786
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
81
00:03:09,911 --> 00:03:11,488
And it was a long sleeve shirt,
so where's my dap at?
82
00:03:11,613 --> 00:03:12,790
Dude, I need some sleeve boob myself.
83
00:03:12,915 --> 00:03:14,194
I'm taking the other chick, too,
84
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:17,280
and I apologize in advance
for marrying her.
85
00:03:17,446 --> 00:03:19,030
- Whoo, yes.
- Nice. Quick on the draw.
86
00:03:19,155 --> 00:03:20,332
Dap on the dibster man.
87
00:03:20,457 --> 00:03:22,334
I don't know about dap, actually.
88
00:03:22,459 --> 00:03:24,269
But I'm gonna have to say no,
because there's only one pure
89
00:03:24,394 --> 00:03:27,124
fair way to decide who's gonna
be my bro-pilot on this one.
90
00:03:31,368 --> 00:03:32,796
87. 87!
91
00:03:32,962 --> 00:03:35,314
- 87?
- I'm maxed out. 87.
92
00:03:35,589 --> 00:03:37,551
Okay. Okay, that's... that's
a pretty high bar, blazer.
93
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:40,220
So that means you only have
to put on...
94
00:03:40,386 --> 00:03:42,222
None, because I'm choosing you.
95
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,266
- No. No!
- You... you serious?
96
00:03:44,432 --> 00:03:45,659
Yeah, I'm serious, dude.
You look like a professional
97
00:03:45,784 --> 00:03:47,126
skating celebrity.
98
00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:48,687
The Swedish chicks will dig that.
99
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:50,997
Yeah, man!
Pro skater, I can do that.
100
00:03:51,122 --> 00:03:52,899
No problem.
Blaker has a death wish.
101
00:03:53,065 --> 00:03:54,776
No, no, no.
Adam has a death wish.
102
00:03:54,942 --> 00:03:56,202
Well, you should have thought
about that when you were putting
103
00:03:56,327 --> 00:03:58,771
spermicide on my French cruller.
104
00:03:58,896 --> 00:04:01,366
O'Ders rules!
105
00:04:01,532 --> 00:04:03,676
Blake, let's dap out of here.
106
00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:07,013
No!
Oh!
107
00:04:07,138 --> 00:04:08,781
That hurts so bad.
108
00:04:08,906 --> 00:04:10,283
Hey, Alice?
109
00:04:10,408 --> 00:04:12,502
Can we, um, have a minute?
110
00:04:12,668 --> 00:04:14,838
Fine.
111
00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:18,758
Uh, Homegirl's death, it...
112
00:04:18,883 --> 00:04:20,293
It's got us, uh...
113
00:04:20,418 --> 00:04:22,137
We're... we're pretty butthurt
about it.
114
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:23,896
- Really?
- You know, we want to come in
115
00:04:24,021 --> 00:04:25,140
tomorrow and just
116
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:27,733
pluck away and do our duty here,
117
00:04:27,858 --> 00:04:30,937
but I don't know
if I'm gonna sound okay
118
00:04:31,062 --> 00:04:32,904
on the phones, because I can't...
119
00:04:33,189 --> 00:04:35,358
You see, he just needs
a day to grieve...
120
00:04:35,524 --> 00:04:36,708
- Yeah.
- Have a good cry.
121
00:04:36,833 --> 00:04:38,243
We all just need a...
Probably a good cry.
122
00:04:38,368 --> 00:04:39,978
- Just a day. One day.
- You were gonna cry too,
123
00:04:40,103 --> 00:04:41,406
- though, right?
- No, I'm... I'm probably gonna...
124
00:04:41,572 --> 00:04:42,882
See, he's crying too now.
125
00:04:43,007 --> 00:04:47,245
Yeah, okay, so if
you guys were actually up...
126
00:04:47,411 --> 00:04:49,088
Alice! Hey, what's up?
I... it's awesome to, eh,
127
00:04:49,213 --> 00:04:51,191
run into you here.
I was just out there,
128
00:04:51,316 --> 00:04:52,834
individually talking with everyone,
129
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:56,129
and we all agree the best way
to commemorate Homegirl's life
130
00:04:56,254 --> 00:04:58,164
and remember her is by
immediately forgetting her,
131
00:04:58,289 --> 00:04:59,716
and just working all day tomorrow.
132
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:01,467
Okay, Adam,
don't mess this up for me.
133
00:05:01,592 --> 00:05:02,735
You know how I am with girls.
134
00:05:02,860 --> 00:05:04,721
I'm like a bull in a vagina shop.
135
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,006
Blake, it's not my fault
136
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,874
you're not a Rico suave dude, okay?
137
00:05:07,999 --> 00:05:09,184
- I am a Rico suave...
- You are not a Rico suave...
138
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,019
Okay, all right, that is enough.
139
00:05:11,185 --> 00:05:13,438
Okay, I don't know what
you guys are up to,
140
00:05:13,604 --> 00:05:16,149
and I certainly don't know
what "butthurt" means.
141
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:17,359
But guess what.
142
00:05:17,575 --> 00:05:19,886
Death happens, and it's real sad.
143
00:05:20,011 --> 00:05:22,155
And we're all still coming
into work tomorrow.
144
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:24,991
Yes! We'll ge...
145
00:05:25,157 --> 00:05:28,161
Should we not remember
Homegirl by at least
146
00:05:28,286 --> 00:05:29,996
having some sort of service
147
00:05:30,162 --> 00:05:32,432
for friends, and co-workers,
and out-of-town guests?
148
00:05:32,706 --> 00:05:34,634
- I don't need this.
- Oh, yes.
149
00:05:34,759 --> 00:05:36,878
That would be very good.
150
00:05:37,044 --> 00:05:39,138
Okay, fine.
Tomorrow, after lunch,
151
00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:40,590
you can have a thing.
152
00:05:40,756 --> 00:05:41,874
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
153
00:05:41,999 --> 00:05:43,260
- We don't need a thing.
- Thank you so much.
154
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,928
This is not fa...
Alice, this is not fair!
155
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,346
I am having the worst day
out of everyone
156
00:05:47,471 --> 00:05:51,059
in this entire office...
Except... except maybe Homegirl.
157
00:05:51,225 --> 00:05:56,323
We need cookies, flowers,
refreshments, beer...
158
00:05:56,448 --> 00:05:59,726
- Yes.
- Whiskey, oysters, for the,
159
00:05:59,851 --> 00:06:02,595
you know, uh, strobe light,
and some balloons that say,
160
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:04,072
"welcome to Hollywood."
161
00:06:04,238 --> 00:06:07,967
Oh, oh, and a karaoke machine,
and extra-large...
162
00:06:08,092 --> 00:06:09,452
Extra-medium condoms.
163
00:06:09,618 --> 00:06:11,704
I'm not gonna buy
those things, Blake.
164
00:06:11,829 --> 00:06:13,415
I can swing by my house
for that stuff.
165
00:06:13,581 --> 00:06:15,292
- All right.
- Thank you.
166
00:06:15,458 --> 00:06:17,178
You're being timed.
Oh, here he is, grumpy bear,
167
00:06:17,303 --> 00:06:19,546
"Mr. Salty that he didn't get
a date to the dance."
168
00:06:19,712 --> 00:06:21,382
I'm not a bear.
169
00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,049
- I'm a human being.
- Okay.
170
00:06:23,215 --> 00:06:25,051
I'm just excited to meet your girls.
171
00:06:25,217 --> 00:06:26,970
That should be interesting.
172
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,278
{pub}And just some more cookies.
173
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,046
By the way, good call
on the danishes.
174
00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:47,115
They're Swedish,
but they'll probably get it.
175
00:06:47,281 --> 00:06:49,484
Man, this place is actually
kind of popping.
176
00:06:49,609 --> 00:06:51,419
Yeah.
Ooh.
177
00:06:51,544 --> 00:06:54,622
But you know it ain't a party
till Jillian brings the queso
178
00:06:54,788 --> 00:06:56,750
Yeah, let's get the...
179
00:06:56,916 --> 00:06:59,028
- Oh, speaking of the devil.
- I'm not the devil.
180
00:06:59,153 --> 00:07:00,253
Okay, just give me the bag.
181
00:07:00,419 --> 00:07:02,213
I'm not, I'm serious.
182
00:07:02,379 --> 00:07:03,498
She's not, she's serious,
but she seriously
183
00:07:03,623 --> 00:07:04,716
brought some queso!
184
00:07:04,882 --> 00:07:07,135
Ho!
Buenos nachos.
185
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:08,804
Should you get a little too
grief-stricken upstairs,
186
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,722
you can always come down here
for a stiff one.
187
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:13,174
Those Swedish girls
are gonna want a stiff one.
188
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:14,809
But seriously,
189
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:17,896
whenever I'm sad,
the only fixer is a mixer!
190
00:07:18,062 --> 00:07:19,314
Yup, always saying that.
191
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,182
- Sex And The City stuff.
- Yeah, that's cool.
192
00:07:21,307 --> 00:07:22,517
Yeah, I watched
a lot over the summer.
193
00:07:22,642 --> 00:07:25,153
Hey, Blake.
It's the "goils."
194
00:07:25,319 --> 00:07:27,623
Oh, shoot!
Okay, okay, okay, I'm ready.
195
00:07:27,748 --> 00:07:29,758
I got the board, I've been
practicing some tricks.
196
00:07:29,883 --> 00:07:31,093
I've got this accent
197
00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:32,369
that I'm gonna try out.
198
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:34,095
Oh, you sound fantastic.
199
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,698
Don't... we're not gonna
do an accent.
200
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:38,366
- Okay, no accent.
- Oh, okay.
201
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:39,835
Jillian, no one past that line.
202
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,203
- No one.
- Except us.
203
00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:42,471
- Okay.
- And the babes.
204
00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,740
- Yes.
- Oh, okay.
205
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,109
Yo... no, you can't come in.
206
00:07:47,234 --> 00:07:48,343
Nah, you can come in.
207
00:07:48,509 --> 00:07:50,011
There they are!
208
00:07:50,177 --> 00:07:53,348
- Hey, hey, you made it.
- Welcome to California.
209
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:55,684
Oh, God, I haven't seen
you since we were, what, 13?
210
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:56,893
You haven't changed.
211
00:07:57,059 --> 00:07:58,561
Eh, wha... really?
212
00:07:58,727 --> 00:07:59,889
Yeah, I mean, your sleeves
are a little shorter,
213
00:08:00,014 --> 00:08:00,855
which I like.
214
00:08:01,021 --> 00:08:03,191
Woo-doo-doo-doo-doo!
215
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:04,692
Remember?
216
00:08:04,858 --> 00:08:06,763
Um, so we're going
into Hollywood, right?
217
00:08:06,888 --> 00:08:08,196
Our flight is at 7:00.
218
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:11,000
Right, 7:00.
So, since your flight's so soon,
219
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:13,701
we were thinking we could just
keep it real around here,
220
00:08:13,867 --> 00:08:15,203
in Rancho Cucamonga,
221
00:08:15,369 --> 00:08:17,705
which is also known
as Hollywood east.
222
00:08:17,871 --> 00:08:19,165
I don't know if you knew that,
but, you know,
223
00:08:19,331 --> 00:08:21,751
if you guys want to go
to the old Hollywood... blegh!
224
00:08:21,917 --> 00:08:23,586
- Oh, meh.
- It stinks. It sucks.
225
00:08:23,752 --> 00:08:25,672
This is great.
Uh, we can do that later.
226
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,382
Um, I doubt you'll want to,
227
00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,300
because I got
a skateboarding celebrity
228
00:08:29,810 --> 00:08:31,753
right here for you.
Blake Anderson...
229
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:33,289
Champion of the ramp.
230
00:08:33,414 --> 00:08:36,458
What's up, Brajettes?
231
00:08:36,583 --> 00:08:38,017
Very gnar to meet you.
232
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,602
What do you say we ramp things up
233
00:08:39,768 --> 00:08:42,063
and, uh, just kind of... oh!
234
00:08:42,229 --> 00:08:44,274
Yeah, kick-flip it inside?
235
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:45,275
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
236
00:08:45,441 --> 00:08:47,861
Oh, I'm landing these tricks, dude.
237
00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:50,113
Okay, so, why don't we head
into the office party
238
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:52,173
real quick, because Hollywood
doesn't really start popping
239
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:53,867
until like 5:30, 6:00 anyway.
240
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:56,011
Yeah, well, that's
when David Beckham comes out.
241
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,245
You know David?
242
00:08:57,411 --> 00:08:58,480
- Uh, let me just...
- Oh.
243
00:08:58,605 --> 00:08:59,789
- Sorry... it's just...
- Ooh.
244
00:08:59,955 --> 00:09:03,952
You have to get out of it,
sweetheart, all right.
245
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,587
- I love skateboarding.
- Oh, really?
246
00:09:05,712 --> 00:09:07,623
Yeah, I actually own
a Wendy's with Shaun white.
247
00:09:07,748 --> 00:09:09,007
Oh, wow.
248
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:10,392
All right, welcome, welcome.
249
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,845
Who wants a disaronno on the rocks?
250
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:16,899
What... what happened?
251
00:09:17,181 --> 00:09:22,103
Oh mama this surely
is a dream yeah
252
00:09:23,937 --> 00:09:26,073
yeah mama this must be my
253
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,444
dream
254
00:09:30,569 --> 00:09:33,156
Whoo.
255
00:09:33,322 --> 00:09:34,616
Thank you. Thank you!
256
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:38,586
This goes out to Homegirl's
two favorite things...
257
00:09:38,711 --> 00:09:39,871
Sex and candy.
258
00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:41,080
Let's give it up.
259
00:09:41,548 --> 00:09:43,333
Let's give it up.
We'll miss you, Homegirl!
260
00:09:43,499 --> 00:09:45,710
You're an angel.
261
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:47,930
She was a strong woman.
262
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:50,465
She could lift anything, it was nuts.
263
00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:52,217
It was nuts.
264
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:53,902
Ders, Blake?
265
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,471
Do you have anything to say
about our fallen comrade?
266
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:57,940
Mm-mm.
267
00:09:58,065 --> 00:09:59,349
She was nice.
268
00:09:59,515 --> 00:10:01,851
Nice? Nice!
269
00:10:02,017 --> 00:10:03,770
She was a lot more than nice.
270
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:08,505
She was a...
A king of the hill.
271
00:10:09,309 --> 00:10:11,888
She was a legend...
Of the fall.
272
00:10:12,013 --> 00:10:16,407
She was Malcolm,
when Malcolm was in the middle.
273
00:10:16,573 --> 00:10:18,826
She was an ultimate fighter
till the end.
274
00:10:18,992 --> 00:10:20,896
I never told her I loved her.
275
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:23,299
I got her pregnant,
but she didn't want to have it.
276
00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:25,625
And... and now there's nothing
left of her.
277
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:26,668
Uh-oh.
278
00:10:27,095 --> 00:10:28,972
Ah, it's okay, bud.
That's okay.
279
00:10:29,097 --> 00:10:30,740
That stuff you just keep to yourself
280
00:10:30,865 --> 00:10:33,776
and never tell a soul, all right?
281
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:35,578
Someone died in your office,
282
00:10:35,703 --> 00:10:38,748
and you invited us to party here?
283
00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:43,085
Yeah, because, uh, in America,
we like to celebrate
284
00:10:43,210 --> 00:10:45,454
life after death, so...
285
00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:50,760
So, we should probably just go
take some Jager bombs at the bar
286
00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:52,360
in memorandum of Homegirl.
287
00:10:52,526 --> 00:10:54,564
Uh-huh, and then we can get
back to the VIP lounge.
288
00:10:54,689 --> 00:10:55,780
Come on over here.
289
00:10:55,946 --> 00:10:57,533
You guys able to sleep yet?
290
00:10:57,658 --> 00:10:59,659
Every time I close
my eyes I see her face.
291
00:10:59,825 --> 00:11:01,452
- Mm-mm.
- I tried counting sheep,
292
00:11:01,618 --> 00:11:04,163
but they just turned
into wooly little Homegirls.
293
00:11:04,329 --> 00:11:05,999
And their naying.
294
00:11:06,165 --> 00:11:08,751
Naa-ver forget.
Naa-ver forget!
295
00:11:08,917 --> 00:11:10,545
- Naa...
- Jillian, just a bucket
296
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,338
- of beers and some whiskey?
- All right.
297
00:11:12,504 --> 00:11:14,149
- Sorry about that.
- Excuse me.
298
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:15,550
I hope you girls weren't
planning on leaving,
299
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:16,926
'cause you guys are my best friends.
300
00:11:17,144 --> 00:11:19,921
- Uh...
- By the way, my name's Adam.
301
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:21,889
You guys are like a shining light.
302
00:11:22,055 --> 00:11:24,017
I'm so sorry to hear about...
303
00:11:24,184 --> 00:11:25,860
Homegirl.
304
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:29,314
Yeah, I'm pretty butthurt about it.
305
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:30,982
How did she die?
306
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:33,068
Well, she went peacefully,
307
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,694
thank God.
308
00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,327
But I was there the entire time,
309
00:11:37,452 --> 00:11:39,991
and the last thing she said
before she passed was,
310
00:11:40,157 --> 00:11:43,378
"Adam, you're the best,
and I love you the most
311
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:46,539
out of everyone."
And then she was gone.
312
00:11:46,705 --> 00:11:48,217
Brain tumor.
313
00:11:48,342 --> 00:11:50,335
The doctor said it was
the size of a p'zone.
314
00:11:50,501 --> 00:11:52,288
Oh, wow.
315
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:54,964
My grandmother died from
a brain tumor about a year ago.
316
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:57,216
- Really?
- It was hard at first,
317
00:11:57,382 --> 00:12:01,012
but it gets better.
318
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:04,067
I know I don't know
you two very well,
319
00:12:04,192 --> 00:12:07,136
but it would help me out a lot
320
00:12:07,261 --> 00:12:11,674
if you guys could stick around,
just a little bit.
321
00:12:11,799 --> 00:12:13,142
Yeah.
322
00:12:13,267 --> 00:12:14,734
We can do that.
323
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,380
Thank you. Thank you,
I'm so emotional right now.
324
00:12:17,505 --> 00:12:20,116
I'm so... oh-ho-ho-ho...
325
00:12:29,122 --> 00:12:31,793
{pub}You know, I probably shouldn't
use alcohol to drown the pain,
326
00:12:31,959 --> 00:12:35,571
but Homegirl loved century club.
327
00:12:35,696 --> 00:12:37,507
100 shots, 100 minutes.
328
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:39,074
I'm in.
Let's do this.
329
00:12:39,199 --> 00:12:40,542
Let's do this.
330
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:41,810
It's an American thing.
331
00:12:41,935 --> 00:12:43,054
Um, if I could have your attention,
332
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:45,147
I just wanted to let you know.
333
00:12:45,272 --> 00:12:48,351
Blake and I have channeled
our sadness
334
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:51,854
regarding Homegirl's passing
into a charity
335
00:12:52,020 --> 00:12:53,189
in Homegirl's name.
336
00:12:53,355 --> 00:12:56,859
Homegirl's home
for girls without homes.
337
00:12:57,025 --> 00:13:00,597
Well I've also made an organization
338
00:13:00,722 --> 00:13:03,366
that's gonna raise money
to cure brain tumorism.
339
00:13:03,532 --> 00:13:04,968
It's called rollerblading
across the Americas.
340
00:13:05,093 --> 00:13:06,661
Oh, yeah?
North and South?
341
00:13:06,827 --> 00:13:09,580
And east and west if it'll
find a goddamn cure!
342
00:13:09,746 --> 00:13:12,208
Okay, well all the money
in the world isn't gonna
343
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,335
do anything to bring Homegirl back.
344
00:13:14,501 --> 00:13:15,612
The only way to keep Homegirl alive
345
00:13:15,737 --> 00:13:18,172
is to name stuff after her,
346
00:13:18,338 --> 00:13:21,384
like charities or skateboard tricks.
347
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:22,635
- Huh?
- Blake.
348
00:13:22,801 --> 00:13:25,638
- Uh.
- Show 'em.
349
00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:33,312
Homegirl!
350
00:13:33,478 --> 00:13:35,189
- Whoa.
- Forever.
351
00:13:35,355 --> 00:13:36,499
You didn't show her much respect by
352
00:13:36,624 --> 00:13:38,068
not using her real name.
353
00:13:38,193 --> 00:13:39,777
Yeah, well, obviously
it's... it's that then.
354
00:13:39,995 --> 00:13:41,705
- It's what then?
- It's her name... if that was...
355
00:13:41,830 --> 00:13:43,740
And what's her name, Ders?
356
00:13:43,865 --> 00:13:45,116
She had a name, dude.
357
00:13:45,282 --> 00:13:50,246
And her name was Roberta Paulson.
358
00:13:50,412 --> 00:13:54,667
Her name was Roberta Paulson.
359
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:58,045
Her name was Roberta Paulson!
360
00:13:58,211 --> 00:13:59,088
Guys...
361
00:13:59,254 --> 00:14:02,060
Her name is Roberta Paulson!
362
00:14:02,185 --> 00:14:03,561
How do you say seance in Swedish?
363
00:14:03,686 --> 00:14:05,196
Uh...
364
00:14:05,321 --> 00:14:08,055
Then let us have...
365
00:14:08,221 --> 00:14:09,265
Alice, you've got
to shut it down now.
366
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:10,558
What?
367
00:14:10,961 --> 00:14:13,144
Homegirl's wake.
Shut it down, now. Please.
368
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:15,007
Nobody's butthurt.
Not anymore.
369
00:14:15,132 --> 00:14:16,647
We're all, uh, we're all butthealed.
370
00:14:16,813 --> 00:14:18,316
Yup, our butts are the picture
of perfect health.
371
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:20,735
- Praise... praise the butt-God.
- The wake has to keep going.
372
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,404
Her kids are on the way over
with some kind of video will.
373
00:14:23,570 --> 00:14:25,184
Whoa.
Whose video will?
374
00:14:25,309 --> 00:14:26,949
Is it like a cool little droid dude?
375
00:14:27,115 --> 00:14:30,244
No, it's like a video
with last words or wishes.
376
00:14:30,410 --> 00:14:31,957
Wait, no, but Adam's
up there going out of control
377
00:14:32,082 --> 00:14:33,539
on the mic device.
He was singing a song,
378
00:14:33,705 --> 00:14:35,227
and I don't know what
he's gonna do next.
379
00:14:35,352 --> 00:14:38,461
Ders. No, video will,
that's a great idea.
380
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:40,765
You know, it would've been cool
if it was a robot.
381
00:14:40,890 --> 00:14:42,200
Video will?
382
00:14:42,325 --> 00:14:43,508
Video will. What's up?
383
00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,968
Mr. Nate Dogg.
Are you there?
384
00:14:46,134 --> 00:14:49,472
I just have but one question
for you, Mr. Nate Dogg.
385
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,643
How do I make it into heaven?
386
00:14:51,768 --> 00:14:54,852
Oh. Oh!
387
00:14:58,438 --> 00:15:02,254
Ay yay. Ay yay.
388
00:15:02,379 --> 00:15:05,530
Smoke weed every day.
389
00:15:07,614 --> 00:15:09,742
Luckily, I do,
so I guess I'm going to heaven.
390
00:15:09,908 --> 00:15:12,912
I feel now would be
a good time to contact Homegirl.
391
00:15:13,078 --> 00:15:14,968
Can we leave?
I want to see Ben Affleck
392
00:15:15,093 --> 00:15:16,165
at the wax museum.
393
00:15:16,331 --> 00:15:18,501
You know what?
Screw Homegirl.
394
00:15:18,667 --> 00:15:22,338
It's time to contact
your dead grandmother.
395
00:15:22,504 --> 00:15:23,798
Guys, again, sorry to interrupt,
396
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:26,843
but I'm pretty sure I have
something way more important
397
00:15:27,072 --> 00:15:28,678
than whatever Adam's convinced
you he's doing.
398
00:15:28,907 --> 00:15:30,179
Oh, is it cartoons?
399
00:15:30,345 --> 00:15:32,185
Oh, thank God.
All I need is a good cartoon
400
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:33,453
to take my mind off of things.
401
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:35,685
Is it Doug?
Is it Hey, Arnold?
402
00:15:35,851 --> 00:15:37,424
No, no, Jillian,
it's not cartoons, okay?
403
00:15:37,549 --> 00:15:39,939
- If it was, it'd be Beetlejuice.
- Makes sense.
404
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:43,130
But it's something, uh,
a little more meaningful.
405
00:15:43,255 --> 00:15:45,027
It's Homegirl's video will.
406
00:15:45,193 --> 00:15:48,239
- Here we go.
- Hey, y'all. It's me.
407
00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:50,838
If you're watching this, I'm a goner.
408
00:15:50,963 --> 00:15:52,994
But don't let that get you down.
409
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,443
I think those are wise words.
Let's liven things up.
410
00:15:55,568 --> 00:15:56,873
Do you guys wanna
take care of your drinks?
411
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,249
Yeah, because the longer you're sad,
412
00:15:58,415 --> 00:16:01,878
the longer I'm gonna spend in hell.
413
00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:05,047
So don't be so darn butthurt.
414
00:16:05,213 --> 00:16:07,800
- Mm.
- Amen to that, girl.
415
00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:09,510
I'd like to say
a special thank you to all
416
00:16:09,676 --> 00:16:11,794
you at Telamericorp,
417
00:16:11,919 --> 00:16:15,998
but mostly to Anders and Blake.
418
00:16:16,123 --> 00:16:17,226
Oh, did you hear that?
419
00:16:17,491 --> 00:16:18,868
They are just two gentlemen,
420
00:16:18,993 --> 00:16:21,188
and not only are their hearts tender,
421
00:16:21,354 --> 00:16:23,733
but I would guess to say that
422
00:16:23,899 --> 00:16:26,068
their penises are pretty tender too.
423
00:16:26,234 --> 00:16:27,403
- Whoa, did you hear that?
- So you might want to put
424
00:16:27,569 --> 00:16:29,113
'em in your mouth and find out.
425
00:16:29,337 --> 00:16:31,481
- I'd be having babies with 'em...
- Aha!
426
00:16:31,606 --> 00:16:33,576
I thought I knew it wasn't
really her for a second.
427
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:35,051
Just have sex with Blake and Anders,
428
00:16:35,176 --> 00:16:36,329
not Adam, 'cause he's sad and stupid.
429
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:37,830
No! No, be sad.
430
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,689
- Be sad and butthurt.
- No.
431
00:16:39,814 --> 00:16:42,126
- Be butthurt and sad.
- Be happy and sex with Blake.
432
00:16:42,292 --> 00:16:44,627
He just said to have sex
with... no, she...
433
00:16:48,022 --> 00:16:49,383
You see what he was doing?
434
00:16:49,549 --> 00:16:51,034
He was face-timing.
This was a lie.
435
00:16:51,159 --> 00:16:52,762
- No, no.
- This is a lie.
436
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:53,970
No, no, no, no, Adam, don't do this.
437
00:16:54,095 --> 00:16:57,274
I need this!
I just wanna screw these two
438
00:16:57,399 --> 00:16:59,310
swedes together like Ikea furniture.
439
00:16:59,476 --> 00:17:03,679
No, no, you declared
war on me when you didn't
440
00:17:03,804 --> 00:17:07,318
draft me to be part of your
Hollywood double date, okay?
441
00:17:07,484 --> 00:17:08,885
So quit trying
to make everybody happy,
442
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,738
so you can get physical
with those sexy foreigners.
443
00:17:10,904 --> 00:17:11,989
But you know what?
444
00:17:12,155 --> 00:17:14,450
Sadness is the real key to evoke
445
00:17:14,616 --> 00:17:17,578
- passion and sexuality.
- No, happiness!
446
00:17:17,744 --> 00:17:18,913
- It's happiness.
- It's sadness!
447
00:17:19,079 --> 00:17:20,665
I smell sex and candy yeah
448
00:17:20,831 --> 00:17:23,876
Oh, no, no, no, you don't.
449
00:17:24,042 --> 00:17:25,002
Blake! Cut him off!
450
00:17:25,168 --> 00:17:27,672
-
Who's that lounging in my chair
- No, don't listen.
451
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:29,215
- Everyone...
- I'll do it a cappella.
452
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:31,884
Who's that drowning
deviant stares
453
00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,678
Blake, you need to destroy
his sound system.
454
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:35,638
Mama this surely is a dream
455
00:17:35,804 --> 00:17:36,764
Adam! He's strong...
Help me, Ders.
456
00:17:37,004 --> 00:17:38,447
Dudes! Dudes!
457
00:17:38,572 --> 00:17:39,433
You guys!
458
00:17:41,201 --> 00:17:46,649
This is... um... Homegirl's
son Craig and daughter Marlene.
459
00:17:54,447 --> 00:17:57,659
{pub}God, I love your mom.
460
00:17:57,784 --> 00:17:59,286
Loved, 'cause she's dead.
461
00:17:59,452 --> 00:18:01,539
'Cause, I'm kind
of the main office prankster.
462
00:18:01,705 --> 00:18:03,541
Second, of course, to Roberta.
463
00:18:03,707 --> 00:18:05,666
Who's Roberta?
464
00:18:05,791 --> 00:18:08,569
Your... mom.
Your mom, Roberta.
465
00:18:08,837 --> 00:18:10,715
Our mother's name
was Kristy Howard-Clark.
466
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:13,259
What?
467
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:14,574
- Was it?
- Kristy Howard-Clark.
468
00:18:14,843 --> 00:18:16,846
I've never heard that name before.
469
00:18:17,012 --> 00:18:19,946
So you didn't really know
this woman at all either?
470
00:18:20,071 --> 00:18:22,852
No, but, like,
what is knowing, nowadays?
471
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:25,085
Okay, who are they...
Who are you?
472
00:18:25,210 --> 00:18:26,647
We're leaving.
473
00:18:26,813 --> 00:18:30,290
We just wanted to see
the goddamn Hollywood sign,
474
00:18:30,415 --> 00:18:32,153
and you ruined our last day
in America.
475
00:18:32,319 --> 00:18:34,194
You're not gonna throw out
our years of pen palling
476
00:18:34,319 --> 00:18:36,449
back and forth over one crazy day?
477
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:38,299
I wrote you for two years.
478
00:18:38,424 --> 00:18:41,302
After middle school, you were
writing with my little brother.
479
00:18:43,997 --> 00:18:46,241
For ten years I was writing
to your little brother?
480
00:18:46,366 --> 00:18:49,143
Okay, that... that can't be true.
I told him I loved him.
481
00:18:49,268 --> 00:18:50,755
- That doesn't make me...
- It does.
482
00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:53,549
I had you for two years.
And the sleeve!
483
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:55,634
Unbelievable, I can't believe
mom worked with such idiots.
484
00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:57,319
But she made us promise
we'd show you this video
485
00:18:57,444 --> 00:19:01,724
if she ever prematurely passed away.
486
00:19:01,890 --> 00:19:03,292
Hello, everyone.
487
00:19:03,558 --> 00:19:08,314
It's me, Kristy.
The main office prankster.
488
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,400
Thank you for all the wonderful
years at Telamericorp.
489
00:19:11,525 --> 00:19:14,069
I cherish them,
490
00:19:14,194 --> 00:19:15,488
and I cherish you.
491
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:17,973
Jillian, you were always there
to listen.
492
00:19:18,098 --> 00:19:19,975
I don't think we ever spoke.
493
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:22,578
Montez, thank you
for letting me borrow
494
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:27,083
your Wayne's World DVD.
Sha-wing!
495
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:30,628
And bill, I had the baby.
She's in Phoenix.
496
00:19:30,794 --> 00:19:33,255
- Phoenix!
- And finally,
497
00:19:33,421 --> 00:19:36,175
- Anders, Blake, and Alan...
- Alan?
498
00:19:36,341 --> 00:19:39,553
The other office pranksters.
499
00:19:39,719 --> 00:19:42,297
I wanted to show you a painting
I made for your cubicle.
500
00:19:42,422 --> 00:19:45,559
I'm so proud of it, and I hope
that it brightens your day.
501
00:19:45,725 --> 00:19:47,353
- She was a painter?
- I don't know.
502
00:19:47,519 --> 00:19:52,406
It's right over here.
503
00:19:52,531 --> 00:19:54,341
Psych!
504
00:19:54,609 --> 00:19:56,278
Can't unsee this!
505
00:19:56,444 --> 00:20:00,180
I'm the main office prankster
for life, you motherfuckers.
506
00:20:00,448 --> 00:20:02,183
This doesn't affect me.
I've seen a lot of porno,
507
00:20:02,308 --> 00:20:04,218
- this doesn't affect me.
- Still got it.
508
00:20:04,343 --> 00:20:06,038
- Okay, uh, wow.
- Oh.
509
00:20:06,204 --> 00:20:10,658
I-I guess the tumor had more
effect than we knew, um...
510
00:20:10,783 --> 00:20:13,261
The truth is we hadn't
seen mom in three years.
511
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:14,863
We had a Thanksgiving where she kept
512
00:20:14,988 --> 00:20:16,365
calling my dog the "n" word.
513
00:20:16,490 --> 00:20:19,343
Oh, we're just real busy.
I teach, so...
514
00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,554
We understand, you know.
Parents.
515
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:23,639
Right?
Everybody?
516
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:26,743
Yeah, yeah. Turns out your
mom's actually pretty cool.
517
00:20:27,017 --> 00:20:30,479
I think we're all pretty
butthurt that she's dead.
518
00:20:30,645 --> 00:20:34,818
And the fact that she showed
the entire office her titties
519
00:20:34,943 --> 00:20:37,621
proves that she's
the co-main office prankster,
520
00:20:37,746 --> 00:20:39,196
tied with me, obviously.
521
00:20:39,362 --> 00:20:42,092
- Craig, can we, please?
- Yeah, uh, thanks everyone.
522
00:20:42,217 --> 00:20:43,661
You're welcome, Greg.
523
00:20:43,950 --> 00:20:46,203
All right, everybody get back
to work, now, please.
524
00:20:46,369 --> 00:20:47,371
Where's Homegirl?
525
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:48,831
Oh, jet set, you're next.
526
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:51,566
Jillian, show me your breasts.
527
00:20:53,165 --> 00:20:54,378
And that's real.
528
00:20:56,504 --> 00:21:00,467
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
529
00:21:00,633 --> 00:21:02,178
My dad's visiting tomorrow.
530
00:21:07,015 --> 00:21:10,102
I am proud of you, Anders.
531
00:21:10,152 --> 00:21:14,702
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